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male narrator: NOW THE STORY OF A WEALTHY FAMILY

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WHO LOST EVERYTHING,

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AND THE ONE SON WHO HAD NO CHOICE

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BUT TO KEEP THEM ALL TOGETHER.

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IT'S ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.

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MICHAEL BLUTH WAS TAKING HIS SON

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TO AN INTERVIEW AT THE PRESTIGIOUS MILFORD SCHOOL,

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AN INSTITUTION ONCE FAMOUS FOR ITS CREDO

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THAT CHILDREN SHOULD BE "NEITHER SEEN NOR HEARD."

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- "WOMAN."

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- [whispers] THEY'RE NOT GETTING IN.

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- BUT DAD, YOU KNOW, I MIGHT NOT GET IN EITHER,

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AND THAT WOULDN'T BE THE END OF THE WORLD.

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- SHH, WE'RE NOT EVEN GOING DOWN THAT ROAD, OKAY?

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THE NEXT FOUR YEARS ARE ALL ABOUT YOUR FUTURE,

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AND THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME, OKAY?

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- AND THINGS HAVE CHANGED AROUND HERE.

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WE HAVE TALKING SESSIONS THROUGHOUT THE DAY.

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WE EVEN HAVE A TALKING ROOM WHERE STUDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED

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TO GO IN AND TALK TO THEIR HEART'S CONTENT.

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- SOUNDS LIKE FUN. - FIRST THING HE'S SAID ALL DAY.

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- THE POINT IS, I'M NOT MY FATHER.

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I DO THINK IT'S BEST FOR THE MILFORD SCHOOL

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TO DISTANCE ITSELF FROM THE BLUTH NAME.

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IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL.

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- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT MY FATHER IS IN JAIL?

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BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO BE COMPARED TO MY FATHER EITHER.

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- I DON'T MIND BEING COMPARED TO MY FATHER.

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- SAVE IT FOR THE TALK ROOM, SON.

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- SORRY.

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- I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT MY FAMILY IS BACK ON TRACK,

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AND NO LONGER IN ANY TROUBLE.

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- NOT ACCORDING TO TODAY'S PAPER.

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- OH, GOD. WHAT HAVE WE DONE THIS TIME?

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- DON'T EVER MENTION KLIMPY'S TO ME AGAIN.

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- WHAT DID YOU DO?

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- IF I STILL HAD MONEY,

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I'D BUY A KLIMPY'S JUST TO BURN IT TO THE GROUND.

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- I KNOW, MOM. YOU HATE KLIMPY'S.

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TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

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- WELL, YOUR SISTER AND I TRIED TO GET INTO

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THAT NEW RESTAURANT, RUD, AND THEY WOULDN'T LET US IN.

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- MRS. BLUTH, THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO ROOM.

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- COME ON. I'VE SUDDENLY LOST MY APPETITE.

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- OH, WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE THAT? narrator: WITH HER BLOOD SUGAR AT A PERILOUS LOW,

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LUCILLE MADE LINDSAY PULL INTO THE NEAREST RESTAURANT.

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- WELCOME TO KLIMPY'S! ANYWHERE YOU LIKE!

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- THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL.

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I'LL HAVE THE IKE AND TINA TUNA.

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- PLATE OR PLATTER?

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- I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION,

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AND I WON'T RESPOND TO IT.

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- AND WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE? - I'D LIKE MY OLD LIFE BACK.

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- SO THERE REALLY WAS NO FIGHT?

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- WELL, ONE TINY THING AT THE END.

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- HOW CAN YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY?

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- OH, PLEASE! EVERYTHING I'VE SAID ABOUT YOU

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CAN BE COVERED WITH MAKEUP AND A LIE ABOUT A THYROID PROBLEM.

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GOOD GRIEF ALMIGHTY!

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YOU THINK I'M ENJOYING MY SLIDE INTO POVERTY?

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SORRY, LINDSAY. THERE GOES YOUR DESSERT.

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- WHY DON'T YOU EAT IT, MOTHER?

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WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE THIS CAKE AND SHOVE IT [bleep].

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HEY, WHO CALLED THE COPS?

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- IT WAS ALL JUST A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING.

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- TOTALLY BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION.

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- WELL, LISTEN, JUST THAT YOU KNOW,

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I THINK IT COST GEORGE MICHAEL

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A CHANCE TO GO TO THE MILFORD SCHOOL.

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- OH, BIG DEAL.

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BUSTER'S THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER LIKED IT. narrator: BUSTER SO EXCELLED AT BEING NEITHER SEEN NOR HEARD

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THAT HE REMAINED AT THE SCHOOL UNDETECTED

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FOR A FULL TWO SEMESTERS AFTER HE WAS SUPPOSED TO GRADUATE.

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- NONETHELESS, MOTHER, I THINK THIS BAD PRESS IS STARTING

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TO TAINT MY SON'S FUTURE,

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AND WE'VE GOT TO PUT AN END TO IT.

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- MICHAEL, IF THIS IS A LECTURE ON HOW WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED

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TO WHATEVER AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,

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WELL, YOU CAN SAVE IT, 'CAUSE WE ALL KNOW IT BY HEART.

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- GOOD-BYE, MISSUS.

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- WELL, THEN, LINDSAY, YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW

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THAT I HAVE A NEW IDEA.

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I MET A PUBLICIST TODAY. I'M GONNA HIRE HER.

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WE NEED SOMEBODY TO MAKE US LOOK GOOD.

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- AND I SAY IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY.

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WE'RE PLENTY SYMPATHETIC AS WE ARE.

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IS THIS YOUR ONION? - YES.

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- WHAT'S IN THE FOIL?

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- NOTHING. IT'S A BALL OF FOIL FOR MY SON.

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- HAVE A GREAT DAY, SWEETIE.

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- I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE CAN'T.

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- SO THIS PUBLICIST, MICHAEL, IS SHE CUTE?

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- I NEVER REALLY NOTICED. narrator: IN FACT, MICHAEL HAD NOTICED HER AT THE GYM,

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BUT ONLY RECENTLY GOTTEN UP THE NERVE TO TALK TO HER,

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GIVING HIM A CHANCE TO WORK ON HIS FLIRTING SKILLS--

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- RACE YOU TO THE TOP OF THE HILL. narrator: WHICH HAD GOTTEN RUSTY OVER THE YEARS.

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- I'LL RACE YOU TO THE TOP OF THE HILL.

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- I BROUGHT A PICNIC LUNCH.

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- HEY, THAT HILL WAS REALLY-- - JESSIE BOWERS.

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IF YOU EVER HAVE ANY PUBLIC RELATIONS NEEDS.

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- MY RELATIONS ARE ALREADY A LITTLE TOO PUBLIC.

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I'M MICHAEL BLUTH.

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- FROM THE BLUTH COMPANY? - THAT'S RIGHT.

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- I'M GIVING YOU MY DIRECT LINE.

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- OKAY, SURE. SHE'S-- SHE'S CUTE, I SUPPOSE.

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I MEAN, NOW THAT YOU'RE MAKING ME THINK ABOUT IT, SHE'S CUTE.

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SHE'S A CUTIE. SHE'S A LITTLE CUTIE PIE.

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BUT I NEVER REALLY NOTICED.

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- WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK HER OUT?

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- THAT'S NOT AN OPTION.

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- 'CAUSE YOU'RE SCARED? - NO, BECAUSE OF GEORGE MICHAEL.

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HE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN OVER LOSING HIS MOTHER.

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I JUST WANT TO GET HIM THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL;

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THEN WE'LL DEAL WITH ME, OKAY?

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- SO YOU DIDN'T GET ANY WHILE YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL,

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AND NOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANY

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WHILE GEORGE MICHAEL'S IN HIGH SCHOOL. narrator: AND SO THE FAMILY GATHERED AT THE MODEL HOME,

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EAGER TO HEAR THEIR NEW PUBLICIST'S PLAN.

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- GET JOBS AND BEHAVE? - INSTEAD OF US GETTING JOBS,

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WHY DON'T YOU DO YOUR JOB AND TELL EVERYONE WE'VE GOT JOBS?

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- YOU KNOW, I HAVE A JOB.

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- [coughs] KISS ASS.

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WELL, WE WERE ALL THINKING IT.

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- I'M UNCLEAR ABOUT WHAT IT IS EXACTLY YOU DO.

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- EXCELLENT QUESTION. WHAT A PUBLICIST DOES--

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- NO, NO. I WAS TALKING TO GEORGE MICHAEL.

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WHEN DID YOU GET A JOB?

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- AT THE BANANA STAND. - OH! DUH.

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I THOUGHT YOU MEANT LIKE A PLUMBER OR SOMETHING.

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AND I WAS LIKE, "WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?"

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[laughs]

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- JESSIE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AHEAD AND JUMP IN HERE.

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IT'S A TOUGH GROUP TO KEEP FOCUSED.

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- WELL, I'M GOING ON THE OFFENSIVE.

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I WANT TO GET AN ARTICLE IN THE PAPER TO SHOW

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THAT THIS IS A FUNCTIONAL FAMILY,

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AND THIS IS A RELATABLE FAMILY.

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- ARE WE ON? HELLO! HELLO FROM PRISON!

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THANKS TO JESSIE FOR SETTING UP THIS TELELINK.

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I'VE STARTED A TORAH STUDY GROUP.

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I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.

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LOOKS LIKE--I DON'T KNOW--

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LOOKS LIKE I HAVE SOME POSSIBLE CONVERTS.

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- YOUR FATHER'S RELIGIOUS NOW? WE'LL PLAY THAT UP.

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- IT'S VERY SYMPATHETIC.

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- YEAH. WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE JEWS?

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- AND IT ALLOWS ME TO PUT MICHAEL FRONT AND CENTER.

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HE NEEDS TO BE THE NEW FACE OF THIS FAMILY.

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HE'S THE ONLY LIKABLE ONE IN THE BUNCH--NO OFFENSE.

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- NONE TAKEN. - I'M SORRY.

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ISN'T MICHAEL THE LEAST LIKABLE ONE IN THE FAMILY?

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- NO, THERE ARE VERY FEW INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE,

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AND STRAIGHT MEN IN THIS TOWN.

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- WELL, THAT CERTAINLY LEAVES ME OUT.

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SHE--SHE SAID SINGLE.

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YOU DID SAY "SINGLE," CORRECT? I THOUGHT I--

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- I DIDN'T QUITE HEAR THAT. THE RECEPTION IS BAD.

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BUT AS THE TALMUD TELLS US--

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[TV static]

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TO THE JACKAL AS TO AN OXEN.

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[laughs] DID IT GET A LAUGH?

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- I'M SORRY.

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I'M STILL ON THE WHOLE MICHAEL BEING LIKABLE THING.

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YOU KNOW THAT HE'S ONLY HAD SEX WITH, LIKE, FOUR WOMEN, RIGHT?

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- LET'S FOCUS ON YOUR LIKABILITY.

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YOU'RE GOING TO START DOING SOME CHARITY WORK WITH YOUR MAGIC.

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- ACTUALLY, I'M KIND OF THE CHARITABLE ONE OF THE FAMILY.

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- I THINK IT'S BEST IF YOU GOT A JOB.

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- OH, COME ON! I'M A PARENT.

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I CARE ABOUT MY DAUGHTER EVERY BIT AS MUCH

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AS MICHAEL CARES ABOUT HIS SON.

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- WHAT GRADE AM I IN? - WHAT KIND OF JOB?

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- SOMETHING WHERE YOU'LL BE SEEN.

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I REPRESENT CLOUDMIR VODKA,

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AND THEY WANT SOMEONE TO PROMOTE IT BY ORDERING IT AT A HOT BAR.

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A PLACE LIKE RUD. - OKAY. I'LL DO IT.

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- AND TOBIAS, YOU'RE A MEDICAL DOCTOR,

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AND YOU'RE LIVING AN ABSURD FANTASY AS AN ACTOR.

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IT'S TIME TO GET REAL. - WOW.

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IT'S TOUGH TALK, BUT I LIKE IT.

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YOU'RE SAYING LAND A MAJOR FILM.

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- I'M SAYING GET YOUR MEDICAL LICENSE BACK.

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I'VE SET UP A HEARING FOR TOMORROW IN BOSTON.

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MICHAEL HAS GENEROUSLY DONATED $1,100 FOR YOUR TRIP.

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- I'M SORRY.

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I TRULY BELIEVE THAT THE UNIVERSE WANTS ME

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TO BE AN ACTOR AND NOT A DOCTOR.

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I'M JUST WAITING FOR A SIGN.

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- HERE'S YOUR CASH.

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UNIVERSAL SHUTTLE PICKS YOU UP AT 8:00.

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- ANY SIGN, REALLY.

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- SORRY, SOME OF MY STUDENTS ARE ARGUING THE SIGNIFICANCE

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OF THE SHANK BONE ON THE SEDER PLATE.

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BUT THAT--NOT...

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DO NOT WAG OUR GENITALS AT ONE ANOTHER TO MAKE A POINT.

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- THOUGHT-PROVOKING.

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- AND LUCILLE, PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE COLD.

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- HANUKKAH CAN BE SPELLED SO MANY WAYS. OH, GOD!

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[all yelling] beep!

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- BUSTER. - RIGHT HERE. READY TO GO.

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AT YOUR SERVICE. GET ME OUT THERE.

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- I WANT YOU TO STAY IN.

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PEOPLE FIND YOU ODD AND ALIENATING.

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YOU MAKE THEM UNEASY. STAY OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT.

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- I SHALL BE NEITHER SEEN NOR HEARD. WATCH ME.

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- YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL A MILFORD MAN. narrator: EACH WITH THEIR NEW CHARGE,

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THE BLUTHS SET ABOUT REDEFINING THEIR IMAGE.

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TOBIAS WAS OFF TO LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,

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DETERMINED TO RETURN TO HIS FAMILY WITH A CAREER.

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- WELL, THIS IS GREAT.

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WHY WOULD ANYBODY TAKE A LIMO?

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WHAT IS THIS, LIKE, $12?

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WHY WOULD ANYBODY PAY MORE THAN $12 TO GO TO THE AIRPORT?

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NEXT STOP, LAX.

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OH, COME ON! WE'RE STOPPING AGAIN?

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HOW MANY MORE STOPS ARE WE GONNA MAKE?

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HONESTLY, I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THIS PART OF LOS ANG--

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IS THAT SNOW?

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REALLY, NOW. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

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I PAID 12 AMERICAN-- OH, MY GOD.

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YOU ARE CARL WEATHERS, THE ACTOR.

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I WENT TO SAN FRANCISCO TO ATTEND

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YOUR STAGE FIGHTING WORKSHOP.

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BUT YOU NEVER SHOWED UP. - I GOT BUMPED FROM THAT FLIGHT.

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HELL, THEY'LL GIVE YOU $300 IF YOU GET BUMPED.

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IT'S THIS CRAZY LOOPHOLE IN THE SYSTEM

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THAT THE WRONG GUY DISCOVERED.

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GUESS WHERE I WON'T BE GOING. [laughs]

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- YEAH. SO... [chuckles]

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I AM AN ACTOR TOO.

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- OH. GOOD. - WELL, I WANT TO BE.

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I MEAN, WITHOUT THE PROPER TRAINING,

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I'M AFRAID I'M DOOMED TO BE A DOCTOR.

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- WELL, HELL, I CAN TRAIN YOU.

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- OH, WELL, I'M AFRAID ALL I HAVE IS $1,100,

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AND THAT'S FOR THIS PLANE TICKET, SO...

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- CHECK THIS OUT.

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$1,100 IS EXACTLY WHAT I CHARGE FOR ACTING CLASSES.

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- NO, IT ISN'T! - YEAH.

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- WELL, WHAT ARE THE CHANCE-- [chuckles]

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UNIVERSE, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN. narrator: MEANWHILE, GOB WAS BEGINNING HIS CHARITY WORK

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AT A LOCAL NURSING HOME.

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- I'M GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER FOR MY NEXT ILLUSION,

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THE AZTEC TOMB!

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- A TOMB? - OR BOX. BOX IS... FINE.

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OH, YES! WELL, EXCELLENT. LET'S GET YOU IN THE BOX.

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[softly] THERE'S A PANEL.

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JUST FLIP IT AROUND, CURL UP BEHIND IT,

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DON'T MAKE ANY NOISE, ALL RIGHT?

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ANCIENT LORE HAS IT THE AZTEC GODS PUT A CURSE

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ON ANY MAN WHO DARE-- - WHAT?

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- HE'S GONE. narrator: BUSTER WAS ALSO DOING HIS SHARE FOR THE FAMILY.

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[phone ringing]

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AND MICHAEL, AT JESSIE'S INSISTENCE, WAS OUT ON THE TOWN.

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- I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT TO DINNER IN SO LONG,

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I FEEL A LITTLE GUILTY.

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- YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE GUILTY ABOUT.

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YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN YOUR FAMILY

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WHO'S EVER BEEN RESPONSIBLE.

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- WELL, I'M CERTAINLY THE ONLY ONE THAT'S EVER HELD A REAL JOB.

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- OH, REALLY, MICHAEL? WATCH THIS.

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WOW! THIS CLOUDMIR'S MAKING ME THINK FUZZY.

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I HAVE ALMOST NO JUDGMENT AT ALL.

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- TWO MORE CLOUDMIRS, PLEASE.

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- "ONLY ONE WITH A REAL JOB."

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- JESSIE, YOU'VE REALLY BEEN DOING

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A GREAT JOB WITH MY FAMILY.

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- OH, GOOD. GET ONE OF MICHAEL AND ME ON A DATE.

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- SURE.

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- THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME, SIR.

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- A DATE? THIS IS A DATE NOW?

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I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST BUSINESS.

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- CAN'T IT BE A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH?

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- HOW WILL I KNOW WHICH PART OF IT IS BUSINESS?

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UH-OH.

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CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHICH PART OF IT IS A DATE.

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SHOW ME BUSINESS AGAIN.

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[TV static]

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- HEY, WHATCHA DOING?

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- JUST TRYING TO GET THE TV WORKING.

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- OH, YEAH, I TRIED THAT EARLIER.

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I THINK IT'S STILL HOOKED UP TO THE PRISON.

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- SO WHEN THOSE GUYS KEPT SAYING,

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"HEY, YOU, BOY," THAT WAS ME?

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I WAS THE BOY? - SOUNDS LIKE IT.

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SO HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR DAD YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO THAT SCHOOL?

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- NO, I'M THINKING OF JUST GOING.

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I MEAN, THE GRADUATES GO ON TO DO GREAT THINGS.

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- I SUPPOSE, BUT THAT MEANS WE WON'T BE GOING

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TO THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL.

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- MAN, IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE.

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BUT HE'S MY DAD. I DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT HIM.

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- MAN, YOU AND I ARE SO DIFFERENT.

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IT'S LIKE WE'RE NOT EVEN RELATED.

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- THAT'D BE AMAZING.

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OH, MY GOD.

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- HEY, BUDDY. - HEY, DAD.

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- I'M SORRY THAT I'M SO LATE, BUT I WAS WITH JESSIE.

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THIS GIRL'S MAKING SOME SERIOUS PROGRESS

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IN GETTING YOU INTO THAT SCHOOL.

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SHE JUST BOOKED GOB A GIG AT EARL MILFORD'S NURSING HOME.

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YOU'RE GONNA BE A SHOO-IN. - OH.

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- [chuckles] SHE'S KINDA SOMETHING, ISN'T SHE?

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- YEAH, I GUESS.

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- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, HEY, SHE IS NO REPLACEMENT FOR YOUR MOM.

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- OH, NO. NO WAY. NOT AT ALL.

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SHE'S JUST WORKING FOR US. YOU'RE NOT DATING HER.

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- NO, I AM NOT DATING HER.

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ABSOLUTELY NOT DATING HER.

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JUST YOU AND ME. THE BLUTH BOYS.

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- BLUTH BOYS.

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- GOOD NIGHT, BUDDY. - GOOD NIGHT.

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- HEY. - HEY.

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- IS HE IN BED? - HE'S ON HIS WAY.

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HEY, LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

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THIS MIGHT BE MOVING A LITTLE BIT TOO FAST FOR HIM.

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I MEAN FOR--FOR US.

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ME. UH, FOR ME.

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YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A STEP BACK

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AND JUST KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP PROFESSIONAL.

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- OH, I THINK THAT WOULD TAKE ALL THE FUN OUT OF IT.

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- NO, NO, NO, NO. SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY.

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YOU'RE AMAZING, BUT I JUST THINK WE SHOULD SLOW DOWN.

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- UH-HUH.

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SO THE TWO MONTHS ON THE BIKE, THAT WAS, WHAT, FOR MY HEALTH?

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- WE HAD GREAT CONVERSATIONS.

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SERIOUSLY, THIS IS HARD FOR ME.

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- THIS IS HARD FOR ME TOO.

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I'VE GOT A LIFE TO GET ON TRACK, AND I DON'T LIKE WASTING TIME,

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SO LET'S DO THIS.

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LET'S TAKE TWO STEPS BACK,

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AND WHY DON'T YOU FIND YOURSELF A NEW PUBLICIST.

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- JESSIE.

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NO, I WAS JUST SAYING YOUR NAME AS YOU WALKED AWAY.

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I DIDN'T--

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I HAVE NO FOLLOW-UP.

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[door opens and closes]

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JESSIE. narrator: MICHAEL FELT BAD,

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BUT HE FELT EVEN WORSE WHEN HE GOT A CALL FROM HIS BROTHER.

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- HELLO.

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- IT'S GOB. I'M LOOKING FOR JESSIE.

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- WELL, SHE JUST LEFT, GOB. WHAT'S WRONG?

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- I NEED HER TO SPIN SOMETHING FOR ME.

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- WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD BECAUSE I THINK SHE QUIT.

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WHAT DO YOU NEED HER TO SPIN? - MURDER. narrator: MICHAEL WAS SUMMONED TO HELP HIS BROTHER.

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- MURDER, HUH? WHO DIED? - MY CAREER.

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- I'M GOING TO GO HOME NOW. - I LOST A GUY.

00:15:03

I PUT HIM IN THE AZTEC TOMB, AND HE DISAPPEARED.

00:15:05

- ISN'T THAT THE POINT? - THIS WILL RUIN ME.

00:15:08

- HE'S PROBABLY FINE. HE JUST ESCAPED.

00:15:09

- NO! I NEED JESSIE!

00:15:10

- WELL, SHE QUIT WHEN I TOLD HER THAT I COULDN'T GO OUT WITH HER.

00:15:13

YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING FOR MY SON.

00:15:15

- THEN YOU BETTER GET HER BACK,

00:15:18

BECAUSE THE GUY I LOST WAS EARL MILFORD.

00:15:20

- WHAT? - I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HIM.

00:15:24

ALTHOUGH HE WAS SPECTACULARLY QUIET IN THERE.

00:15:26

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL A MILFORD MAN.

00:15:29

- GOB, HAVE YOU DESTROYED MY CHANCE

00:15:30

AT GETTING MY SON IN THAT SCHOOL?

00:15:32

- NOT WITH THE RIGHT SPIN.

00:15:35

JESSIE. GET HER BACK. narrator: CHARGED WITH THE TASK OF RENEWING HIS MEDICAL LICENSE,

00:15:42

TOBIAS WAS ENJOYING HIS FIRST ACTING CLASS WITH CARL WEATHERS.

00:15:46

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR POLICE CAPTAIN TOLD YOU ABOUT ME,

00:15:49

BUT I'M A DIFFERENT BREED OF COP.

00:15:51

I'M FROM THE STREETS, AND I'M THE LAST COP

00:15:56

YOU'RE EVER GONNA WANNA MESS WITH IN A DARKENED ALLEY.

00:15:59

DARK ALLEY. AND I-- [chuckles]

00:16:03

LISTEN, MR. WEATHERS, I DON'T KNOW.

00:16:05

PERHAPS MY WIFE WAS RIGHT.

00:16:07

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M CUT OUT TO BE A--A DE NIRO

00:16:11

OR A REGIS OR A PINKETT-SMITH OR WHAT HAVE YOU.

00:16:15

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, TOBIAS.

00:16:17

DREAMS ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

00:16:20

NOW, ARE YOU GONNA BE A FIGHT, OR ARE YOU GONNA BE A DOCTOR?

00:16:24

- YOU'RE RIGHT, CARL WEATHERS.

00:16:26

I SHOULD JUST MARCH INTO THAT RESTAURANT

00:16:28

WHERE MY WIFE WORKS AND TELL HER--

00:16:30

- YOUR WIFE WORKS IN A RESTAURANT?

00:16:31

DO THEY GET A SHIFT MEAL,

00:16:33

OR DO THEY JUST PAY HALF-PRICE ON SELECT MENU ITEMS?

00:16:35

- I DON'T KNOW. - WELL, LET'S FIND OUT, MAN. narrator: AND THE PRESS GOT HOLD OF GOB'S STORY.

00:16:42

- WHERE IS EARL MILFORD? - I--I DON'T KNOW, ALL RIGHT?

00:16:46

I PUT HIM IN A BOX. I DIDN'T KILL HIM, ALL RIGHT?

00:16:48

AND DON'T EDIT THIS FOR YOUR BROADCAST

00:16:50

SO IT LOOKS LIKE I'M SCREAMING, "I KILLED EARL MILFORD."

00:16:52

- STARTLING CONFESSION, TONIGHT AT 11:00. narrator: MINUTES LATER, GOB UNLOADED HIS EQUIPMENT

00:16:57

AND MADE A SURPRISING DISCOVERY.

00:17:05

- DON'T SEND ME BACK. THEY ABUSE US.

00:17:06

IT'S NOT PLEASANT.

00:17:09

- EARL, I HAVE TO TAKE YOU BACK.

00:17:11

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO CLEAR MY NAME.

00:17:13

- YOU'LL HAVE A NEW NAME: HERO.

00:17:17

- HERO.

00:17:19

THAT COULD WORK FOR ME. narrator: MEANWHILE, JESSIE DECIDED

00:17:22

TO PAY GEORGE MICHAEL A VISIT.

00:17:24

- HI, GEORGE MICHAEL. PROUD OF YOURSELF?

00:17:27

- YEAH, ACTUALLY, I GOT A BUM AWAY FROM THE STAND

00:17:28

WITHOUT HURTING HIS FEELINGS.

00:17:29

THAT WAS PRETTY SWEET. - NO. I MEAN ABOUT YOUR FATHER.

00:17:32

ABOUT DENYING HIM HIS CHANCE TO BE HAPPY.

00:17:34

- YOU'RE INTO THAT TOO? I'M RUBBING OFF ON YOU, HUH?

00:17:37

- NO. I WANT MY DAD TO BE HAPPY.

00:17:39

- WELL, IT'S TOO LATE NOW. I'VE SEEN TO THAT.

00:17:42

DADDY LOST HIS SHOT AT HAPPY, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, OPIE. narrator: JESSIE HAD GONE TOO FAR,

00:17:46

AND SHE HAD BEST WATCH HER MOUTH.

00:17:48

- MICHAEL'S ABOUT TO BECOME THE MOST UNLIKABLE MAN IN TOWN.

00:17:51

CHECK THE PAPERS.

00:17:54

- SHE KIND OF REMINDS ME OF MY MOTHER. narrator: AND LATER THAT NIGHT, LINDSAY WAS WORKING AT RUD.

00:18:00

- YOU SEEM LIKE A MAN OF TASTE AND CLASS.

00:18:03

- I'LL GIVE YOU $2,000 TO TOUCH ME.

00:18:06

- [chuckles] OH, MY GOD. MY HUSBAND.

00:18:10

- YOU'RE MARRIED TO CARL WEATHERS?

00:18:11

- [bleep] WHAT'S GOING ON?

00:18:14

WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHY AREN'T YOU IN BOSTON?

00:18:16

WHO'S HE?

00:18:17

- HIS NAME IS CARL WEATHERS, AND HE'S MY NEW ACTING TEACHER.

00:18:20

AND, LINDSAY, HE'S TEACHING ME ALL THESE VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS.

00:18:24

- I BUY ALL MY CARS AT POLICE AUCTION.

00:18:26

- HE'S FULL OF STUFF LIKE THAT.

00:18:28

AND, LINDSAY, HE'S TEACHING ME TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS.

00:18:34

- GIVE ME A BOURBON.

00:18:37

- ANY ROOM ON THAT TAB FOR ME TO JUMP ON? narrator: AND MICHAEL CAUGHT UP WITH JESSIE.

00:18:41

- LISTEN, THANKS FOR COMING.

00:18:43

I WAS JUST-- I WAS DOING SOME THINKING.

00:18:46

AND, YOU KNOW, I PULLED AWAY, AND THAT WAS WRONG.

00:18:48

I REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS WORK.

00:18:49

- GET AWAY FROM MY SON!

00:18:51

- HEY, MOM. KIND OF ON A DATE HERE.

00:18:54

- YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER THIS. narrator: AND MICHAEL SAW THE STORY

00:18:59

THAT JESSIE HAD PLANTED.

00:19:02

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, SWEETIE.

00:19:05

WE MAY PICK ON EACH OTHER, GET INTO LITTLE SCRAPES,

00:19:07

CALL EACH OTHER NAMES,

00:19:09

AND OCCASIONALLY STEAL FROM EACH OTHER,

00:19:10

BUT THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE A FAMILY.

00:19:13

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT.

00:19:14

- "LINDSAY'S A COMBATIVE, ENTITLED PRINCESS"?

00:19:17

I SHOULD HIRE SOMEBODY TO KICK YOUR ASS FOR THAT.

00:19:19

- SAVE YOUR MONEY.

00:19:21

- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

00:19:22

- HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

00:19:23

WE ARE NOT SETTLING THINGS LIKE THAT ANYMORE, ALL RIGHT?

00:19:25

I DON'T NEED MY SON READING ANY MORE ARTICLES

00:19:27

ABOUT US IN THE PAPER.

00:19:28

- OH, YOU AND YOUR SON.

00:19:30

STOP USING HIM AS AN EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO.

00:19:32

- I SAW HIM TODAY. HE'S FINE WITH US.

00:19:33

- WAIT, WHAT? YOU SAW HIM TODAY? - YEAH.

00:19:35

I TOLD HIM HE WAS GETTING IN THE WAY OF YOUR HAPPINESS.

00:19:37

- YOU DID? YOU SAID THAT TO MY SON?

00:19:40

- YEAH.

00:19:43

- YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. LADIES?

00:19:50

- FOOD FIGHT!

00:19:54

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

00:19:57

OH, MY FACE!

00:20:00

I'M GONNA GET YOU GUYS! STOP!

00:20:03

- THE PRESS IS HAVING A LOVE AFFAIR

00:20:06

WITH HATING THE BLUTH FAMILY,

00:20:09

AND THEY WERE THE CENTER OF ANOTHER BRAWL THIS EVENING.

00:20:12

- I'M LOOKING AT $50,000 WORTH OF MEDICAL BILLS HERE.

00:20:16

- WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WON'T BE GETTING INTO THIS SCHOOL.

00:20:18

ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED?

00:20:19

- WELL, ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED?

00:20:21

- LOOK, GEORGE MICHAEL,

00:20:23

I WANT YOU TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL, OKAY?

00:20:25

I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT HURTING MY FEELINGS.

00:20:27

- I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO THAT SCHOOL,

00:20:29

AND JESSIE'S A PSYCHO.

00:20:32

- THAT COULD'VE SAVED US A LITTLE BIT OF TIME.

00:20:34

- BUT, DAD, IF YOU EVER WANT TO DATE ANYONE ELSE,

00:20:36

THAT'S FINE WITH ME.

00:20:37

- YEAH? THANKS, BUDDY.

00:20:40

- 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, I MEAN, FOUR WOMEN, THAT IS KIND OF SAD.

00:20:43

- ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

00:20:45

- I MEAN, I KNOW YOU GOT MARRIED IN COLLEGE,

00:20:46

BUT THAT WAS YOUR SOPHOMORE YEAR.

00:20:48

YOU HAD YOUR WHOLE FRESHMAN YEAR TO--

00:20:49

- OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH HONESTY FOR NOW.

00:20:50

THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT.

00:20:52

- THERE MUST HAVE BEEN GIRLS AT PARTIES. narrator: ON THE NEXT ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.

00:20:57

GOB HOLDS A PRESS CONFERENCE OF HIS OWN.

00:20:59

- AND NOW, PREPARE TO CALL ME "HERO."

00:21:03

[cameras clicking]

00:21:05

HE'S RESTING, SO... OH.

00:21:09

PICK A CARD. OH, BOY. narrator: AND BUSTER MOVES TO THE KITCHEN.

00:21:12

[creaking]