Home > Arrested Development
Whistler's Mother
00:00:01narrator: NOW THE STORY
00:00:02OF A WEALTHY FAMILY WHO LOST EVERYTHING
00:00:04AND THE ONE SON WHO HAD NO CHOICE
00:00:06BUT TO KEEP THEM ALL TOGETHER.
00:00:12IT'S "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."
00:00:18MICHAEL WAS PREPARING FOR A MEETING
00:00:20WITH THE BLUTH COMPANY BOARD
00:00:21TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH SOME RECENTLY UNFROZEN FUNDS.
00:00:24- WOW. EXCITING, HUH?
00:00:26FINALLY GETTING SOME MONEY.
00:00:28- WHAT DO YOU WANT, LINDSAY?
00:00:29- I'D LIKE SOME OF THAT MONEY.
00:00:31- WELL, THIS MONEY IS FOR LAND.
00:00:32OKAY? WE'RE NOT GONNA BURN THROUGH IT
00:00:34LIKE DAD DID WHEN HE WAS IN CHARGE
00:00:36WITH HIS BAD INVESTMENTS, AND HIS CORRUPT DEALINGS--
00:00:38MOTHER'S NECK.
00:00:38- NO, THAT WAS A GOOD INVESTMENT.
00:00:40- IT IS EASIER TO LOOK AT NOW, ISN'T IT?
00:00:42- WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT
00:00:44THE MONEY WAS FOR SOMETHING REALLY WORTHWHILE?
00:00:46- LIKE WHAT? - I WANT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR.
00:00:48NOW I'M NOT SURE WITH WHO YET,
00:00:50BUT I'LL NEED LINGERIE, WAXINGS--
00:00:53THESE ARE SOME REAL COSTS, MICHAEL.
00:00:55- I TAKE IT THINGS AREN'T GETTING BETTER WITH TOBIAS.
00:00:57- WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? narrator: THINGS HADN'T BEEN GETTING BETTER
00:01:00WITH MICHAEL'S SISTER AND HER HUSBAND
00:01:02EVEN AFTER SHE CAME UP WITH A PLAN TO GET HIS ATTENTION.
00:01:05[disco playing] - OH, MY GOD.
00:01:06LISTEN TO THE RADIO.
00:01:07I HAVEN'T HEARD THIS SONG SINCE WE FIRST STARTED DATING.
00:01:10- [singing] BAD GIRLS TALKIN' 'BOUT THE SAD GIRLS
00:01:13- I JUST FEEL LIKE USING MY BODY.
00:01:15- WELL, LINDSAY, COULD YOU USE IT OVER THERE?
00:01:17I'M TRYING TO GROW.
00:01:19- YEAH. IT'S CLEAR THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
00:01:22WE HAD SEX ONCE IN THE LAST YEAR, AND HE JUST LAID THERE.
00:01:25- ALL RIGHT. LOOK, THIS MONEY IS FOR LAND.
00:01:27I'M NOT GONNA GIVE YOU MONEY TO HAVE AN AFFAIR.
00:01:29WHY DON'T YOU PICK SOMETHING ELSE
00:01:31TO BOOST UP YOUR SELF-WORTH?
00:01:32HOW ABOUT, UH, CHARITY?
00:01:33WHY DON'T YOU GET BACK TO YOUR ROOTS?
00:01:34- WELL, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE.
00:01:36[inhales sharply] ALL RIGHT!
00:01:37I'M GONNA GO DO THAT RIGHT NOW.
00:01:40- YOU'RE GONNA GO GET YOUR HAIR DONE, AREN'T YOU?
00:01:44- WELL, IF I'M GONNA HAVE AN AFFAIR--
00:01:47[phone ringing] narrator: MICHAEL GOT A MESSAGE HE INTENDED TO IGNORE.
00:01:52UNTIL HE READ THE NEXT LINE.
00:01:54- A MATTER OF LAND, MOM?
00:01:56- OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
00:01:58I MEANT "A MATTER OF L AND D," LIFE AND DEATH.
00:02:03- WHAT IS THE MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH?
00:02:05- BUSTER'S JAW CLICKS WHEN HE EATS.
00:02:08I THINK IT'S WHAT'S DRIVING HIS FRIENDS AWAY.
00:02:10I SENT HIM TO CANADA FOR AN OPERATION.
00:02:13SO I'LL NEED SOME OF THAT NEW MONEY THAT JUST CAME IN.
00:02:16- YOU KNOW, MOM,
00:02:17IF YOU WANT AN OPERATION THAT'S REALLY GONNA HELP HIM,
00:02:18YOU OUGHT TO HAVE THEM FINALLY CUT THAT CORD.
00:02:20- HE NEEDS ME.
00:02:21- HE DOESN'T NEED YOU. YOU CODDLE HIM.
00:02:23HE'S TOO OLD TO GO RUNNING TO HIS MOMMY
00:02:26WITH ALL HIS PROBLEMS.
00:02:26- I SEEM TO REMEMBER A CERTAIN SOMEONE
00:02:30RUNNING TO MOMMY
00:02:31WHEN HIS ALGEBRA TEACHER MADE AN EXAMPLE OF HIM. narrator: MICHAEL HAD BEEN SUSPENDED
00:02:35WHEN ANOTHER BOY CHEATED OFF HIS TEST.
00:02:38- TRACY WON'T MARRY ME.
00:02:39I WON'T GET A JOB, AND--
00:02:40- [shushing]
00:02:43- WHAT IS THIS? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
00:02:45- LET MAMA TAKE CARE OF IT.
00:02:48I'LL HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH MR. VANDENBOSCH. narrator: THE NEXT DAY, MR. VANDENBOSCH WAS NOT IN SCHOOL.
00:02:56HE WAS NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN.
00:02:58- I-I KNOW LIFE IS NOT FAIR TO WOMEN.
00:03:00YOUR CHILDREN GROW UP, AND THEY DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.
00:03:03- AND I SEEM TO REMEMBER A CERTAIN GROWN MAN
00:03:07WHO COMPLETELY FELL APART TWO WEEKS AGO
00:03:09WHEN I TAPED OVER THE NOVA SPECIAL
00:03:11THAT HAD THE GIRL ON IT HE LIKED.
00:03:13- THAT WAS BUSTER. THAT'S MY POINT. narrator: GEORGE MICHAEL, MEANWHILE,
00:03:21WAS AT THE FROZEN BANANA STAND
00:03:23WHEN HE THOUGHT HE SPOTTED A FAMILIAR FACE:
00:03:25- POP-POP?
00:03:28SORRY, MISS. [chuckling]
00:03:29POP-POP!
00:03:30- YOU THINK YOU SAW POP-POP?
00:03:32- BUT WITH HAIR!
00:03:33WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY HE ASKED FOR MY HAIR, REMEMBER?
00:03:35- GIVE POP-POP YOUR HAIR!
00:03:36GIVE ME THE HAIR!
00:03:37- IT ALL ADDS UP.
00:03:38HE STOLE SOMEBODY'S HAIR, MADE A WIG,
00:03:40KNOCKED OUT THE GUARD,
00:03:42TUNNELED HIS WAY THROUGH A SEWER LINE,
00:03:43AND THEN STOPPED TO GET A CANDY APPLE
00:03:45ON HIS WAY TO MEXICO!
00:03:46- OF COURSE!
00:03:48YOU'RE MOCKING ME.
00:03:49- [scoffs] OF COURSE.
00:03:50- LISTEN, I KNOW WHAT I SAW, MAEBY.
00:03:52AND THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION.
00:03:54- SO LISTEN. MY TWIN BROTHER'S IN TOWN.
00:03:55I WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
00:03:57- YOU STILL SEE UNCLE OSCAR?
00:03:58- TELL YOU WHAT.
00:03:59GIVE HIM TEN GRAND FROM THE, UH, NEW CASH.
00:04:02JUST SEND HIM ON HIS WAY.
00:04:03- DAD, THE MONEY IS FOR THE BUSINESS, OKAY?
00:04:05I'M NOT JUST GONNA HAND IT ALL OUT.
00:04:07- MICHAEL! THIS IS MY BROTHER.
00:04:08DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A SIBLING
00:04:10WHO HAS NO SOURCE OF INCOME EXCEPT FOR YOU?
00:04:12- JUST ONE? NO.
00:04:13NO IDEA. IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL THOUGH.
00:04:15LOOK, THE BOARD IS WATCHING EVERY MOVE I MAKE.
00:04:18ESPECIALLY THAT GUY JORDAN.
00:04:19HE'S JUST WAITING FOR ME TO SCREW UP,
00:04:21SO HE CAN BLOW THE WHISTLE ON ME.
00:04:22- WHY DON'T YOU JUST BUY HIM OUT OF HIS STOCK?
00:04:24- NO, NO. HE WANTS TWICE THE VALUE.
00:04:25BUT--LISTEN.
00:04:27STOP TELLIN' ME WHAT TO DO WITH THE MONEY, PLEASE?
00:04:29I'VE GOT A PLAN FOR THE BOARD MEETING
00:04:30THAT'S GONNA TAKE THE GUN RIGHT OUT OF JORDAN'S HAND.
00:04:32- LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT THE MONEY NOW.
00:04:34AND YOU KNOW MY PRICE.
00:04:35- YOU DON'T NEED A WHISTLE-BLOWER AROUND HERE.
00:04:37- INTERESTING CHOICE OF WORDS, MR. JORDAN.
00:04:40HE'S RIGHT. WE DON'T NEED A WHISTLE-BLOWER.
00:04:42WE NEED A BUILDING FULL OF WHISTLE-BLOWERS.
00:04:45OKAY? WHISTLES.
00:04:47I WANT THIS PLACE TO BE HONEST.
00:04:49THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I HAD THESE MADE UP FOR US.
00:04:51WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING WRONG, I WA--
00:04:53[whistles]
00:04:54THERE YOU GO.
00:04:56I WANT YOU TO REPORT IT.
00:04:57I WANT YOU TO-- [whistles]
00:04:59EXACTLY. JUST LIKE THAT.
00:05:00I WANT US TO POLICE OURSELVES AS VIGILANT--
00:05:02[whistling]
00:05:02LET'S WAIT TILL SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS THOUGH.
00:05:04OKAY, GOOD FUN. [chuckles]
00:05:05ALL RIGHT. HEY. ENOUGH!
00:05:0745, 46, 47--
00:05:10OKAY, THERE'S STILL THREE WHISTLES LEFT OUT THERE.
00:05:12WHO'S GOT THE WHISTLES? [whistles]
00:05:15- HE KEPT ONE.
00:05:16- THERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE OF WHISTLE-BLOWING, OKAY?
00:05:18BUT YOU'VE KEPT YOURS, SO IT'S HURTING YOUR CASE.
00:05:22- I WAS IN THE BATHROOM WHEN YOU ASKED FOR IT BACK.
00:05:24[whistling] - NO, HE WASN'T.
00:05:26- IN ANY EVENT,
00:05:27WE ARE GOING TO BE RESPONSIBLE WITH THIS MONEY.
00:05:29- MICHAEL, I HOPE I'M NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING,
00:05:31BUT I'D LOVE TO GET A HUNK OF THAT NEW COMPANY MONEY.
00:05:34[whistling]
00:05:37- I JUST NEED TO PROVE TO MY WIFE THAT I CAN ACT LIKE A MAN.
00:05:41AND IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX.
00:05:43I DON'T JUST LIE THERE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
00:05:46- THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS THINKING.
00:05:47- SORRY, I JUST--
00:05:50A QUICK QUESTION FOR MICHAEL.
00:05:51- IS THIS ABOUT THE MONEY?
00:05:52- NO! [chuckles]
00:05:53- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
00:05:55- I MEAN, IT'S NOT ABOUT MONEY IN THE SENSE THAT I'M SAYING,
00:05:57"HERE, MICHAEL, TAKE SOME MONEY."
00:05:59IT'S JUST MORE OF A "MAY I HAVE SOME?" KIND OF VISIT.
00:06:03- DON'T YOU HAVE A WIFE THAT YOU CAN ASK NOW?
00:06:05- SHE LEFT ME. - FOR TOBIAS?
00:06:07- FOR ME? - NO!
00:06:09SHE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE YOU.
00:06:11- I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW.
00:06:13- YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH YOUR OWN BROTHER?
00:06:15THE ONE IN THE ARMY?
00:06:16- NO. YOUR SISTER'S HUSBAND.
00:06:17- MICHAEL? MICHAEL!
00:06:19- NO, THAT'S YOUR SISTER'S BROTHER.
00:06:20- I'M MY SISTER'S BROTHER.
00:06:21YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME. ME!
00:06:23- I'M IN LOVE WITH TOBIAS.
00:06:25- MY BROTHER-IN-LAW?
00:06:26- I KNOW IT CAN NEVER BE. SO I'M LEAVING.
00:06:28I'M ENLISTING IN THE ARMY.
00:06:30- TO BE WITH YOUR BROTHER.
00:06:31- NO!
00:06:32- ANYWAY, I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO LIVE ON THE $800-A-MONTH
00:06:34ARMY-WIFE STIPEND THAT I'M GONNA GET.
00:06:36- THEY JUST DON'T SUPPORT THE SPOUSES.
00:06:38- YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP LIKE UNCLE OSCAR, OKAY,
00:06:41LIVING OFF HANDOUTS YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
00:06:43WHY DON'T YOU COME UP WITH A WAY TO MAKE MONEY?
00:06:45A SUGGESTION OF SOMETHING TO INVEST IN
00:06:47OR MAYBE, UH, MAYBE A BUSINESS IDEA?
00:06:48- WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO REMAKE "ANNIE HALL."
00:06:51EXCEPT I WOULDN'T WANT TO GET IN BED WITH A GREEN PRODUCER
00:06:55LIKE A SOFIA COPPOLA THOUGH.
00:06:56OH, BUT GIVE ME AN OLD PRO, LIKE A ROBERT REDFORD?
00:06:59OH, I'D JUMP INTO BED WITH HIM IN A SECOND.
00:07:02AND I WOULDN'T JUST LIE THERE, MICHAEL BLUTH,
00:07:05IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
00:07:07- ACTUALLY, THAT TIME THAT WAS WHAT I WAS THINKING.
00:07:09- [chuckles] narrator: AND LATER THAT DAY,
00:07:11MAEBY SPOTTED SOMETHING INTERESTING.
00:07:18LINDSAY, MEANWHILE, ARRIVED AT THE SALON
00:07:20HOPING TO INCREASE HER SELF-ESTEEM.
00:07:23UNFORTUNATELY, HER STYLIST HAD JUST BEEN CALLED UP
00:07:25BY HIS RESERVE UNIT.
00:07:26- WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
00:07:28- I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TELL.
00:07:29IT'S THE WAR.
00:07:30- OH, COME ON! THESE SALON WARS HAVE GOT TO STOP!
00:07:34- THE WAR, LINDSAY. THE REAL WAR. narrator: LINDSAY WAS STUNNED,
00:07:38NOT JUST THAT SHE WAS LOSING HER STYLIST,
00:07:40BUT THAT APPARENTLY, THERE WAS A WAR GOING ON.
00:07:42- WELL, I'M PROTESTING THIS WAR. YOU'RE MY FRIEND,
00:07:45AND I'M NOT GONNA LET SHAUNA CUT MY HAIR.
00:07:48I'M GOING TO TAKE A STAND. narrator: AND LINDSAY FOUND A SOLUTION
00:07:52TO HER SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEM.
00:07:53GOB AND TOBIAS, MEANWHILE,
00:07:54WERE BRAINSTORMING AT A LOCAL COFFEE SHOP.
00:07:57- I NEED A CUP OF COFFEE TO FOCUS.
00:07:59- IT'S SO CROWDED IN HERE. I CAN'T THINK.
00:08:02OKAY. WHAT IS IT THAT PEOPLE NEED?
00:08:04- PEOPLE LOVE TO CARBO-LOAD.
00:08:06THE BAGEL PLACE. - THERE YOU GO.
00:08:09- HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
00:08:10- JUST RESEARCHING OUR INVESTMENT.
00:08:12- OH, YEAH. COFFEE PLACES. I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THESE.
00:08:16I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
00:08:17YOU GUYS COME UP WITH A PROPOSAL, WE'LL TRY ONE. narrator: GOB AND TOBIAS
00:08:21ACCIDENTALLY HAD MICHAEL ON THE HOOK,
00:08:22AND THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BLOW THE DEAL.
00:08:32- I GUESS THAT'S A RESPONSE.
00:08:34- HEY, NEPHEW.
00:08:35- OH, HEY! [chuckles]
00:08:37UNCLE OSCAR. HOW ARE YOU DOIN'?
00:08:39- WOW, YOU ARE LIKE, LIKE A ROCK.
00:08:41- [chuckling, groaning]
00:08:42- OH, THE TENSION! COME ON.
00:08:43- OH, OKAY. THAT'S PLENTY.
00:08:44- OKAY, RIGHT THERE. THAT'S THE PANCREAS RIGHT THERE.
00:08:46- WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW? [chuckles uneasily] narrator: THE TWO MEN RECONNECTED,
00:08:49NEITHER ONE ANXIOUS TO BRING UP THE ISSUE AT HAND.
00:08:51- ONE ON THE LIPS.
00:08:52- OBVIOUSLY, DAD'S IN PRISON NOW.
00:08:54I'M RUNNING THE BUSINESS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENTLY.
00:08:56- WELL, YOU DO THE BEST WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.
00:08:58- YEAH.
00:08:58- I HAVE LEMONS, I MAKE LEMONADE.
00:09:00- THAT'S A VERY POSITIVE ATTITUDE.
00:09:02- BUT I HATE THE LEMONADE BUSINESS.
00:09:03I HATE THE GRIND. YOU HAVE TO GRIND SO MANY [bleep] LEMONS.
00:09:06- YOU'RE NOT A VERY METAPHORICAL PERSON, ARE YOU?
00:09:08- I NEED MONEY.
00:09:09- I KNOW.
00:09:11- [sighs] AH, I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW THAT HAS WEIGHED ON ME.
00:09:14[passing gas] MM.
00:09:16- WHY DON'T WE SIT OVER HERE?
00:09:19SO I'VE GOT TOO MANY PEOPLE WATCHING ME TOO CLOSELY.
00:09:25SO IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK,
00:09:27OR IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING OF VALUE--
00:09:29- THE ONLY THING I HAVE OF VALUE IS MY LAND.
00:09:32I COULD GIVE YOU THE RIGHTS TO "ALL YOU NEED ARE SMILES."
00:09:34THAT WAS A SONG I WROTE FOR DAVID CASSIDY;
00:09:36HE WAS GONNA SING IT ON THE MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW.
00:09:38BUT HE WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO DO IT
00:09:39IN FRONT OF JOHN AND YOKO.
00:09:40- TELL ME ABOUT THE LAND.
00:09:42- OH, LAND. IT'S A COUPLE HUNDRED ACRES OF LEMON GROVES,
00:09:45RIGHT NEAR CAMP PENDLETON.
00:09:46- IF YOU'RE WILLING TO PART WITH THAT LAND, UNCLE OSCAR,
00:09:49I CAN GUARANTEE YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN THAT $10,000.
00:09:52- TO BE HONEST, I'VE OFTEN THOUGHT OF GIVING IT UP
00:09:55TO PURSUE MY--MY LOST LOVE.
00:09:57THE LOVE THAT WAS TAKEN FROM ME.
00:10:00[passing gas]
00:10:01- I HOPE THAT WAS THE ESPRESSO MACHINE. narrator: MICHAEL MADE THE TRIP TO SURVEY THE LAND.
00:10:06IT WAS, INDEED, BEAUTIFUL.
00:10:09AND THE NEXT DAY, HE WENT TO HIS FATHER TO TELL HIM.
00:10:12- YOU GIVE THAT GIFT TO MY BROTHER?
00:10:13- GIFT? NO.
00:10:14I DID NOT GIVE HIM A GIFT.
00:10:15I TOLD YOU. THE MONEY WAS FOR INVESTING,
00:10:17AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DID WITH IT, POP.
00:10:19- OH, MICHAEL!
00:10:20THIS GUY HAS GOT NOTHING IN HIS LIFE.
00:10:22HE WROTE ONE SONG THAT MADE JOAN BAEZ CALL HIM
00:10:24"THE SHALLOWEST MAN IN THE WORLD."
00:10:25HE HAS A WORTHLESS PIECE OF PROPERTY
00:10:28AND, YES, A HEAD OF HAIR--
00:10:29ONLY BECAUSE HE'S NEVER HAD TO WORK FOR A LIVING.
00:10:31- WAIT, NOW. WHAT PIECE OF PROPERTY'S WORTHLESS?
00:10:34- THE GROVE. YOU KNOW, WHERE HE LIVES.
00:10:35I MEAN, YOU CAN'T BUILD ON IT.
00:10:37THE GOVERNMENT HAS AN EASEMENT ON IT.
00:10:38- DOES OSCAR KNOW THIS?
00:10:40- OF COURSE HE KNOWS IT.
00:10:41I MEAN, THEY RUN THEIR-- THEIR TANKS THROUGH THERE.
00:10:44OCCASIONALLY, THEY STOP FOR A LITTLE LEMONADE,
00:10:46BUT WHAT'S THAT? THAT'S A BUCK FIFTY.
00:10:47YOU CAN'T MAKE MUCH FROM THAT. narrator: INDEED, THE LAND WAS VALUELESS.
00:10:51[explosion]
00:10:53[tank rumbling]
00:10:54- FELLAS! FELLAS!
00:10:56- SO TELL ME ABOUT THIS INVESTMENT YOU MADE. narrator: BACK AT THE MODEL HOME, LINDSAY HAD DECIDED
00:11:08NOT TO TAKE HER STYLIST'S DEPARTURE LYING DOWN.
00:11:11- I'M PROTESTING THE WAR.
00:11:13THERE'S A WAR GOING ON, YOU KNOW?
00:11:15- YEAH, I'M THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU,
00:11:16AND YOU SAID IT HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO.
00:11:18- HEY, ISN'T THIS THE SAME SIGN YOU USED
00:11:19TO PICKET THE CABLE COMPANY
00:11:20WHEN THEY DROPPED THE STYLE NETWORK?
00:11:22- ACTUALLY, I USED THIS ONE FOR MICHAEL
00:11:23WHEN HE WAS TOO CHEAP TO PAY FOR THE PREMIUM CHANNELS.
00:11:26BUT I ADDED THE BIT ABOUT THE STYLISTS.
00:11:30- YOU KNOW THAT SECRET YOU HAVE?
00:11:31THE ONE ABOUT THE HAIR THAT NOBODY'S SUPPOSED TO SEE?
00:11:34- HAI--
00:11:35- I SAW IT.
00:11:38- OH. - I SAW POP-POP.
00:11:41- OH, RIGHT. POP-POP WITH HAIR.
00:11:43YOU KNOW, I SHOULD TELL MY DAD ABOUT--
00:11:45- NO, YOU [bleep].
00:11:46HE MIGHT NEED US TO HELP HIM,
00:11:47SO WE SHOULD GO CHECK OUT THE PRISON
00:11:49AND MAKE SURE HE'S NOT THERE.
00:11:50[door opening]
00:11:51- OH.
00:11:52- HEY, YOU KNOW, I GOT CABLE. YOU WON THAT ONE!
00:11:55[beeping]
00:11:56- MICHAEL WAS EMBARRASSED ABOUT THE BAD INVESTMENT HE'D MADE
00:11:59AND WAS HOPING TO KEEP IT A SECRET.
00:12:01- HI, THIS IS OSCAR. I'M OFF, PURSUING MY LADY LOVE.
00:12:04LEAVE A MESSAGE. I'LL GET BACK TO YOU NEXT SUMMER.
00:12:06[beeping] - HEY, IT'S MICHAEL.
00:12:08I KNOW THAT YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE DISAPPEARED,
00:12:09BUT I WILL FIND YOU.
00:12:11[beeps]
00:12:12- WHO'S DISAPPEARED? - NO ONE.
00:12:14- WHY DO YOU ASK? HAVE YOU SEEN SOMEONE?
00:12:15- I'VE SEEN NO ONE.
00:12:16- THEN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE THAT LOOKS LIKE POP-POP.
00:12:19- NO. WHY?
00:12:20HAS SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE POP-POP DISAPPEARED?
00:12:22- NO. COURSE NOT.
00:12:26- HAVE YOU SEEN THE AGRICULTURAL REPORT?
00:12:29- NOTHING'S HOTTER THAN COFFEE, SO THE TREND IS UP.
00:12:33SO IF WE COULD GET THAT CHECK FROM YOU--
00:12:35- I'M NOT JUST GONNA HAND OUT A CHECK, OKAY?
00:12:38YOU GOTTA COME UP WITH AN INVESTMENT PLAN,
00:12:40YOU GOTTA CALL--
00:12:41- OH, WE'VE GOT AN INVESTMENT PLAN.
00:12:43- "GOBIAS INDUSTRIES."
00:12:45- GO BIAS. - HMM?
00:12:47- AS IN, "GO BUY US SOME COFFEE."
00:12:49- IT'S GREAT. LOOKS GOOD.
00:12:51- SO WHEN DO I START MAKIN' MY MONEYS?
00:12:54- WELL, UM, THERE, UH-- THERE MAY NOT BE
00:12:57AS MUCH INVESTMENT CAPITAL AS WE THOUGHT.
00:13:00UH, MONEY'S KIND OF TIED UP IN THIS LAND DEAL.
00:13:04- THIS IS THE FIRST ANY OF US AT GOBIAS INDUSTRIES
00:13:07HAVE HEARD OF A LAND DEAL.
00:13:08- WE COULD BORROW ON THAT LAND.
00:13:10- THERE'S NOT MUCH TO BORROW AGAINST.
00:13:11THE DEAL SEEMS TO BE BAD.
00:13:14IT'S UNCLE OSCAR'S LAND, AND IT MAY BE WORTHLESS.
00:13:17- AND THE BOARD OKAYED IT?
00:13:18- WELL, THEY WEREN'T NOTIFIED.
00:13:20- DAMN IT! EVERY TIME, DAD DOES THIS TO US.
00:13:23- GOB, DAD REALLY WASN'T--
00:13:24- OH, PLEASE! HE WENT AROUND YOU.
00:13:26HE WENT AROUND THE BOARD-- - HE STEAMROLLED GOBIAS.
00:13:28- YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
00:13:29- I'M GOING TO GO DOWN TO THAT PRISON
00:13:30AND GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND.
00:13:32- HEY, GOB, NO, YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT.
00:13:33- NO, I'M DOING IT! - NO, YOU DON'T.
00:13:34- NO, BECAUSE YOU'RE IN CHARGE NOW.
00:13:36AND I'M TELLING HIM THAT.
00:13:37- NO, NO, NO, NO. LISTEN, GOB, HE'S HUMAN.
00:13:39HE'S A HUMAN BEING,
00:13:40AND LET-LET ME TRY TO GET US OUT OF THIS, YOU KNOW?
00:13:43LET ME JUST SEE IF I CAN GET DAD OUT OF THIS MESS
00:13:45THAT HE HAS CREATED FOR HIMSELF, OKAY?
00:13:47- I'M AFRAID THIS OFFER COMES OFF THE TABLE
00:13:51AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT.
00:13:54- MAYBE THE WORST BLUFF I'VE EVER SEEN. narrator: EVEN THE MEMBERS OF GOBIAS AGREED ON THAT ONE.
00:14:00THE NEXT DAY, LINDSAY,
00:14:02HAVING HEARD ABOUT A MILITARY EXERCISE,
00:14:05JOINED A PROTEST GROUP
00:14:06AND WENT OFF TO EXERCISE HER OWN FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS.
00:14:09- THIS WAY! THANK YOU!
00:14:12RIGHT HERE. THIS WAY.
00:14:14I ASK YOU TO MAKE SURE
00:14:15YOU'RE FULLY INSIDE THE FREE SPEECH ZONE
00:14:17BEFORE BEGINNING YOUR PROTEST.
00:14:18- FREE SPEECH ZONE?
00:14:19THIS IS WHERE WE'RE PROTESTING?
00:14:21THIS ISN'T RIGHT. WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS?
00:14:22- THEY'RE IN THE FREE PRESS ZONE,
00:14:24AND IF YOU COULD SAVE YOUR COMMENTS UNTIL
00:14:26YOU'RE COMPLETELY LOADED INTO THE CAGE.
00:14:27- WELL, AT LEAST THE PROCESSION WILL COME THROUGH HERE.
00:14:29THEY'LL SEE US PROTEST.
00:14:30- ACTUALLY, THEY'RE USING THEIR RIGHT
00:14:32TO CUT THROUGH THE LEMON GROVE.
00:14:33- OKAY, HAVE FUN, ENJOY YOUR RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH.
00:14:36THE ARMED FORCES WELCOMES YOUR DISSENT.
00:14:38- WELL, HOPEFULLY SOMEBODY WILL COME BY WE CAN PROTEST.
00:14:47- MY GRANDKIDS. WHAT A SURPRISE.
00:14:49- OH, HE'S HERE.
00:14:50- OF COURSE I'M HERE. WHERE ELSE WOULD I BE?
00:14:52- WELL, WE THOUGHT YOU BROKE OUT OF PRISON
00:14:54AND WERE ON THE LAM WITH STOLEN HAIR.
00:14:56- DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF I GOT OUT OF HERE,
00:14:58I MIGHT WANT TO GO HOME?
00:14:59- THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT.
00:15:00BUT THEN MY DAD TOLD US ABOUT THAT LEMON GROVE YOU BOUGHT,
00:15:02AND WE THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING THERE.
00:15:04- YEAH, BUT DON'T WORRY.
00:15:05WE WOULD NEVER BLOW THE WHISTLE ON FAMILY.
00:15:07- WHAT LEMON GROVE? narrator: AND SO MICHAEL WENT BACK TO THE BOARD
00:15:12TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS MISTAKE.
00:15:15- MY DAD SCREWED UP.
00:15:16HE BOUGHT SOMETHING THAT HE SHOULDN'T HAVE.
00:15:18BUT I GUESS--GUESS THAT'S WHY HE'S BEHIND BARS.
00:15:20- YEAH.
00:15:21AND HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO CONDUCT ANY BUSINESS FROM THERE.
00:15:24- [inhales] RIGHT, YEAH.
00:15:25I WAS INVOLVED. IT WASN'T ALL HIS DECISION.
00:15:28YOU SEE, IT WAS HIS IDEA,
00:15:29AND THEN I CARRIED OUT THE TRANSACTION.
00:15:31- THAT'S EVEN WORSE.
00:15:32CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT FRAUD.
00:15:35'COURSE, YOU CAN ALWAYS BUY ME OFF THE BOARD.
00:15:37- WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY ANYMORE.
00:15:39AND I ASSURE YOU THAT NOTHING ILLEGAL HAS HAPPENED HERE.
00:15:42I'VE MISSPOKE.
00:15:43MY DAD IN NO WAY IS TALKING ABOUT BUSINESS FROM PRISON.
00:15:46[knocking]
00:15:47- [softly] EXCUSE ME.
00:15:48YOUR FATHER'S CALLING FROM PRISON.
00:15:50HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU
00:15:51ABOUT THE LAND DEAL YOU MADE WITH HIS BROTHER.
00:15:53HEY, I FOUND THIS ON YOUR DESK.
00:15:55CAN I KEEP THIS? [whistles] narrator: BACK AT THE FREE SPEECH ZONE,
00:16:03LINDSAY'S PROTEST HAD STARTED TO GAIN SOME ATTENTION.
00:16:06BUT NOT FROM ANY KEY DECISION MAKERS.
00:16:08- THOUGHT WE WERE SEEIN' A GAY MARRIAGE.
00:16:10- WELL, WE CAN STILL HOSE 'EM DOWN.
00:16:12- WHAT DO WE WANT? [indistinct chanting]
00:16:14WHAT DO WE WANT? [chanting continues]
00:16:16[yelling, indistinct]
00:16:18- WHERE'S EVERYONE GOING?
00:16:20WHAT, ARE YOU GIVING UP?
00:16:22- FACE IT, LINDSAY. THEY'VE WON.
00:16:24- WELL, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
00:16:25ALL YOUR WATER'S DOING
00:16:27IS WHETTING MY APPETITE FOR PROTEST.
00:16:28NO HAIR FOR OIL! NO HAIR FOR OIL!
00:16:32- FINE! WE'LL DROWN YOU OUT WITH MUSIC.
00:16:34- CRANK IT UP! I'M IN THE MOOD TO DANCE!
00:16:36[disco]
00:16:38[volume increases]
00:16:39- [singing] BAD GIRLS
00:16:41TALKIN' 'BOUT THE SAD GIRL. narrator: AND LINDSAY DISCOVERED
00:16:45THAT THE ACTIVISM THAT CAME OUT OF HER DESIRE
00:16:47FOR PRETTIER HAIR REALLY DID BOOST HER SELF-ESTEEM.
00:16:50WHILE MICHAEL, WITH NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN,
00:16:52MADE A RARE, UNSOLICITED VISIT TO HIS MOTHER'S.
00:16:55- MICHAEL? - YEAH.
00:16:57- I HOPE YOU'RE HERE TO BRING ME A CHECK FOR BUSTER'S SURGERY.
00:17:00THEY MADE HIM STOP EATING AFTER MIDNIGHT, AND HE'S HUNGRY,
00:17:03AND HE'S IN A FOREIGN LAND,
00:17:04AND HIS JAW IS CLICKING, AND HE'S SCARED.
00:17:06- I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY. ALL RIGHT, MOM?
00:17:08- THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?
00:17:09- I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.
00:17:16- SO HOW'S WORK?
00:17:19- IT'S-IT'S NOT GREAT, MOM, SINCE YOU ASKED.
00:17:22IT'S-IT'S JUST--IT'S NOT THAT GREAT, YOU KNOW?
00:17:24I GOT A BOARD MEMBER WHO'S TRYING TO EXTORT ME,
00:17:26AND A SELLER I CAN'T FIND--
00:17:28THIS WHOLE REAL ESTATE THING IS A TOTAL MESS--
00:17:30I GOT DAD COMPLETELY--
00:17:31- WHAT DID YOUR FATHER DO?
00:17:32DID HE TRY TO SCREW SOMETHING UP FOR YOU AGAIN?
00:17:34- NO, NO. HE DIDN'T SCREW ANYTHING UP.
00:17:36I SCREWED SOMETHING UP, MOM.
00:17:37I-I DID IT, AND DAD IS JUST, YOU KNOW, FURIOUS AT ME.
00:17:40AND HE SHOULD BE, YOU KNOW?
00:17:42HE TOLD ME TO PAY OFF HIS BROTHER, AND I DIDN'T.
00:17:44INSTEAD, I BOUGHT HIS WORTHLESS LAND.
00:17:46- WITH THE LEMONS AND THE TANKS?
00:17:47- I KNOW IT!
00:17:48FIRST INVESTMENT I MADE WITH THE COMPANY MONEY,
00:17:50AND IT'S A TOTAL DISASTER.
00:17:52THEN I WENT AHEAD AND LIED ABOUT IT,
00:17:53WHICH IS GONNA LET THIS BOARD MEMBER
00:17:55BRING THE COMPANY DOWN.
00:17:56I'M GONNA RUIN THIS FAMILY, MOM.
00:17:57- [shushing]
00:18:00- WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
00:18:02- IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
00:18:04- WHY ARE YOU SQUEEZING ME WITH YOUR BODY?
00:18:05- IT'S A HUG, MICHAEL. I'M HUGGING YOU.
00:18:07- WHY?
00:18:08- BECAUSE YOU NEED YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW.
00:18:10- BUT I DON'T GET ALONG WITH MY--SORRY.
00:18:13THAT WAS A KNEE JERK.
00:18:14- MICHAEL. YOU MADE A MISTAKE.
00:18:15YOU'RE A HUMAN BEING.
00:18:18BUT YOU'RE SO FORGIVING TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS FAMILY.
00:18:21TRY BEING FORGIVING TO YOURSELF.
00:18:23NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.
00:18:27LET MAMA TAKE CARE OF IT.
00:18:29- NO, NO.
00:18:30MOM, COME ON. I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO ANYTHING.
00:18:32HEY! THIS ISN'T ALGEBRA.
00:18:33I'M A BIG BOY. MOTHER!
00:18:34DO NOT MAKE SOMEBODY DIS--
00:18:36[door closes]
00:18:37DISAPPEAR.
00:18:39[phone ringing]
00:18:42[cartoonish sounds]
00:18:45[shouting, jeering]
00:18:48- NOW THERE'S SOMEONE WHO COULD HAVE USED A GOOD MOTHER.
00:18:52WHORE! narrator: AND SO BEFORE OSCAR COULD LEAVE
00:18:56TO FIND HIS LADY LOVE--
00:18:58- OSCAR! narrator: SHE FOUND HIM.
00:19:01- LUCILLE!
00:19:02YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!
00:19:05YOU STILL HAVE THE NECK OF A 20-YEAR-OLD.
00:19:08- AND YOU STILL HAVE THE HAIR OF A LION.
00:19:11- [laughing]
00:19:12- TAKE BACK THE LAND.
00:19:15- THAT'S IT?
00:19:16BUT I-I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE
00:19:19THIS BRIEF MOMENT TO RECONNECT.
00:19:23- OSCAR. YOUR BROTHER IS IN JAIL RIGHT NOW.
00:19:26MY HUSBAND IS IN JAIL.
00:19:27- [sighing] YOU'RE RIGHT.
00:19:30- SO WHAT'S THE RUSH? narrator: AND THE NEXT DAY--
00:19:37- MICHAEL!
00:19:38- HEY, MOM! HI. LISTEN.
00:19:41I'M SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY.
00:19:42IT WAS A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.
00:19:43NOW I-I GOTTA GO INTO THIS BOARD MEETING.
00:19:45I'M JUST GONNA TELL THEM THE TRUTH.
00:19:46IF THIS GUY JORDAN WANTS TO TRY TO GET ME FIRED,
00:19:48THEN MAYBE I DESERVE IT.
00:19:50- HE'S GONE. WE BOUGHT OUT HIS SHARES.
00:19:52- WITH WHAT?
00:19:53- WITH THE MONEY YOU TRIED TO SPEND ON THAT LEMON GROVE.
00:19:57- YOU GOT IT BACK. HOW?
00:20:01- [shushing]
00:20:03- YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT I WAS SAYING
00:20:04ABOUT HOW PEOPLE OUTLIVE THEIR USEFULNESS?
00:20:07THAT WAS OUT OF LINE.
00:20:08- I KNOW.
00:20:10BUT YOU MADE A GOOD POINT.
00:20:13MAYBE I DO NEED SOMETHING TO OCCUPY MY TIME,
00:20:15OTHER THAN MY CHILDREN.
00:20:16- WELL, IF YOU DO WANT TO SPEND IT TOGETHER,
00:20:18IT'S FINE WITH ME.
00:20:19- I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT.
00:20:28- [sighs]
00:20:29- ALL RIGHT.
00:20:30LET'S GET THIS MEETING STARTED.
00:20:33WHY HAVE WE BEEN SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON WHISTLES? narrator: ON THE NEXT "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."
00:20:42MICHAEL FINDS HAVING HIS MOTHER ON THE BOARD PROBLEMATIC.
00:20:45- WE HAVE TO BE COURAGEOUS.
00:20:47- I REMEMBER A CERTAIN YOUNG MAN WHO USED TO SAY
00:20:49"BUT I DON'T HAVE BAD DREAMS IN YOUR BED!"
00:20:52[laughing wildly]
00:20:53- THAT WAS BUSTER. narrator: LINDSAY FINDS HER TRUE CALLING:
00:20:57- I WANT TO BE A CAGE DANCER.
00:21:01[laughing] narrator: AND OSCAR COMES A-COURTIN'.
00:21:04- [singing] ALL YOU NEED ARE SMILES
00:21:06- WHAT'S THAT RACKET?
00:21:07- [singing] LOTS AND LOTS OF SMILEY SMILES
00:21:10YOUR SWEET PEA MOUTH GOES NORTH NOT SOUTH
00:21:13AND JUST SMILES