Home > Arrested Development

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male narrator: NOW THE STORY OF A WEALTHY FAMILY

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WHO LOST EVERYTHING...

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AND THE ONE SON WHO HAD NO CHOICE...

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BUT TO KEEP THEM ALL TOGETHER.

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IT'S "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."

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MICHAEL BLUTH HAD SCHEDULED A MEETING WITH STAN SITWELL,

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THE BLUTH COMPANY'S CHIEF COMPETITOR.

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- WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS MEETING AT HOME?

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- WELL, LET HIM SEE HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE

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WHO BUILDS SOLID HOUSES, YOU KNOW?

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I THINK HE'LL BE PRETTY IMPRESSED,

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KNOCK ON WOOD.

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[knocking] narrator: IN FACT, MICHAEL WAS MEETING AT HOME

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AT THE BEHEST OF HIS FUGITIVE FATHER.

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- KNOCK ON WOOD.

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[knocking]

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- DON'T YOU FIND THE TIMING OF THIS MEETING

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A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS?

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RIGHT BEFORE WE PLAY HIS COMPANY IN SOFTBALL?

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- NO, NO, OUR BUSINESS IS IN TROUBLE,

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AND I THINK HE SEES AN OPPORTUNITY.

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SO, I FIGURED THE GUY'S A FAMILY MAN,

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WHY NOT INVITE HIM OVER,

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- LET HIM SEE US IN OUR ELEMENT.

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- I HOPE YOU DON'T MEAN THE WHOLE FAMILY...

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'CAUSE GEORGE MICHAEL'S OFF WITH ANN.

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- ANN?

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HMM. THAT'LL PLAY WELL WITH SITWELL.

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"WHERE'S YOUR SON?" "HE'S OUT WITH ANN."

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"WHO'S ANN?"

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"DON'T ASK ME, I'M JUST THE BOY'S FATHER."

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- HEY, SCREW SITWELL!

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HE COMES IN HERE TELLING US HOW TO BUILD OUR HOUSES,

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HOW TO RAISE OUR KIDS.

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NO, WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.

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WE DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM HIM.

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DAMN IT. THIS THING GOT PUSHED IN AGAIN.

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GONNA NEED A BUTTER KNIFE.

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- THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

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GEORGE MICHAEL'S GOT THESE POWERFUL LITTLE FINGERS.

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HE SHOULD BE HERE.

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- HEY, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

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HE'S THE ONE WHO SAID HE WOULD HELP ME ON THIS ESSAY

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FOR "THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA."

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- I'LL HELP YOU WITH THAT LATER.

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- OH, GREAT. OKAY.

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SO YOU HAVE TO READ THIS, AND THEN EXPLAIN IT,

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AND, THIS IS IMPORTANT,

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YOU HAVE TO SAY IT IN MY OWN WORDS, OKAY?

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SMART, BUT NOT TOO SMART.

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LET'S HAVE A FOUR-SYLLABLE MAX.

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- DO YOU WANNA SAY SOMETHING OR SHOULD I, TOBIAS?

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- NO, I BELIEVE IN LETTING CHILDREN

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LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES, MICHAEL.

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THEY MAKE A MISTAKE ONCE, THEY SHAN'T MAKE IT TWICE.

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OH, HERE I GO!

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DON'T WORRY, IT HAS NOT FALLEN INTO THE GARAGE.

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KNOCK ON WOOD.

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[loud crash]

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- YOU GONNA WANT TO HELP ME WITH THAT?

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- NO, I CAN'T. I HAVE AN AUDITION TOMORROW.

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I'M UP FOR A MINOR, BUT MEATY, ROLE IN A FEATURE FILM.

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- "CONFIDENCE MAN TWO."

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- OH, YEAH?

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I DIDN'T SEE THE FIRST CONFIDENCE MAN.

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- NO, CONFIDENCE MAN TWO IS MY CHARACTER.

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I THINK I'LL DRIVE UP TODAY AND PLOT MY ROUTE TO THE STUDIO.

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- HOW 'BOUT I COME WITH YOU?

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I MEAN, I COULD HELP YOU PREPARE.

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- YES, WELL, IT'S FOR A CON MAN,

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WHICH I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT.

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AND BESIDES, DON'T YOU HAVE SCHOOL?

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- NO, UM...

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TODAY IS "HELP YOUR DAD FOLLOW HIS DREAM" DAY.

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- GREAT. WE CAN TAKE THE CARPOOL LANE.

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- I NEED ICE.

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- I'M GLAD SITWELL'S COMING OVER.

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LET HIM SEE THAT WE'RE DOING FINE AS A FAMILY.

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THE ONLY HELP WE NEED IS FROM EACH OTHER.

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- AND APPARENTLY WHATEVER'S IN THAT BOTTLE.

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- THANKS FOR REMINDING ME. MY TEAMOCIL.

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- WAIT A MINUTE. TEAMOCIL?

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ISN'T THAT THAT SUPPLEMENT THAT YOU AND TOBIAS WERE HOCKING

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BEFORE THE F.D.A. SHUT YOU DOWN? narrator: IN THE MID '90s, TOBIAS FORMED A FOLK BAND

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TO PROMOTE A SUPPLEMENT

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THAT PROMISED BETTER UNITY AND TEAMWORK.

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- [singing] TEAMOCIL

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- TEAMOCIL MAY DECREASE YOUR SEX DRIVE.

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- [singing] TEAMOCIL

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- GOOD JOB, BUDDY. - THANKS, FRIEND.

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SINCE I'VE BEEN TAKING THIS AGAIN,

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I'VE BEEN GETTING ALONG GREAT WITH MY HUSBAND.

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YOU'RE TAKING IT FOR THE SIDE EFFECT, AREN'T YOU?

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- MICHAEL! - OH, GOD.

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MOTHER, NOT A GOOD TIME. I'M HAVING A MEETING HERE.

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- LOOK AT WHAT BUSTER SENT FROM THE ARMY.

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- IT'S BLACKED OUT.

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- OH, THE GOVERNMENT. KEEP READING.

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- "SERGEANT BLANK IS TREATING ME VERY BLANK,

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"AND IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE SHIPPING OFF TO BLANK

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"IN ABOUT A BLANK.

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I BLANK YOU, MOTHER. BUSTER."

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- I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN.

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I EVEN TRIED TO CONVINCE THEM HE'S GAY,

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BUT NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN LIKE ME

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WOULD HAVE A GAY SON.

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- WELL, YOU CERTAINLY TRIED.

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YOU GUYS WORE MATCHING OUTFITS TILL HE WAS 12. narrator: EVEN ONCE ON A MAGAZINE COVER

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THAT HAD BEEN MOCKED WITHIN THE FAMILY FOR YEARS.

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LUCILLE, I-I'LL SAY IT AGAIN.

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YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE ARMY.

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REMEMBER, LUCILLE?

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- NO, I DON'T.

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- GET ME A VODKA, ROCKS.

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- MOM, IT'S BREAKFAST.

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- AND A PIECE OF TOAST.

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- PLEASE, STAN SITWELL'S COMING OVER.

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- THAT HAIRLESS FREAK IS COMING HERE?

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NONE OF HIS HAIR IS REAL, YOU KNOW.

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- YOU MEAN THE GUY WE'RE MEETING WITH

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CAN'T EVEN GROW HIS OWN HAIR?

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COME ON!

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- IT'S CALLED ALOPECIA, AND I'D APPRECIATE IT

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IF WE COULD ALL BE SENSITIVE TO IT, OKAY?

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HE HAPPENS TO BE A VERY MODEST AND GENEROUS MAN.

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- MODEST AND GENEROUS?

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- THEN WHY IS HE ALWAYS WAVING

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GIANT $10 MILLION CHECKS OVER HIS HEAD

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EVERY TIME SOME--

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- GO AHEAD, MOM. FINISH YOUR THOUGHT.

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"EVERY TIME SOME CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL NEEDS FUNDING"?

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- NONETHELESS, WE COULD GET A GIANT CHECKBOOK TOO.

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WE'RE JUST NOT THAT STARVED FOR ATTENTION. narrator: AND LATER, SITWELL LAID OUT HIS PLANS.

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- SORRY THAT MY SON COULDN'T BE HERE.

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- LET ME GUESS. GIRLFRIEND.

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YOU KNOW, IT COULD BE WORSE.

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HE COULD WANNA MARRY YOUR MOTHER.

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[laughs]

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OH, I'M SORRY, IS YOUR FAMILY NOT LAUGHING AT THAT YET?

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OKAY, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'M OFFERING.

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YOU GOT A WONDERFUL PIECE OF PROPERTY HERE

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THAT'S GOING NOWHERE.

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SO WHAT I PROPOSE IS A CO-VENTURE

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WITH YOUR SUDDEN VALLEY DEVELOPMENT.

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THE FIRST THING YOU MIGHT WANNA CHANGE, THOUGH, IS THE NAME.

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YOU KNOW, SUDDEN VALLEY CONJURES UP THE IMAGE OF A SINKHOLE, NO?

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- I TOLD THAT TO DAD. I TOLD THAT TO MY DAD.

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- I'M THINKING "PARADISE GARDENS."

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- [wind whistling]

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- I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE THAT WRITTEN--

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I WANT YOU TO SEE THAT SO YOU DON'T THINK THAT I'M--

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I HAVE THAT WRITTEN DOWN ON MY NOTEBOOK. narrator: WHEN GEORGE SR. WAS IN CHARGE,

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HE HAD A HABIT OF SHOOTING DOWN ANY IDEA MICHAEL CAME UP WITH.

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- AND SUDDEN VALLEY JUST SORT OF IMPLIES

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THAT SOMETHING AWFUL COULD HAPPEN ALL OF A SUDDEN.

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YOU KNOW, PLUS, IT'S ON A HILL.

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- WHAT, ARE YOU TAKING, STUPID PILLS?

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COME ON.

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SAVE US SOME MONEY. narrator: THIS WAS A MANAGEMENT TOOL

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THAT HE USED TO KEEP MICHAEL WORKING FOR HIS APPROVAL.

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- THAT WAS A HARD ONE TO SAY NO TO.

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- THE ONLY THING I ASK IS, OUT OF THE 450 HOMES WE BUILD,

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ONE BE GIVEN TO A DISADVANTAGED FAMILY FROM THE INNER CITY.

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- THAT'S GREAT.

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SO THE OTHER 449 FAMILIES LIVE IN FEAR?

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IS THAT WHAT WE'RE SAYING?

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I MEAN, COME ON! WHERE'S YOUR DECEN--

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WHAT THE HELL JUST FELL OFF YOUR FACE?

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ONE OF THIS GUY'S EYEBROWS JUST FELL IN THE BOWL CANDY BEANS.

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- I ALWAYS CARRY A SPARE.

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- WELL, I HOPE YOU ALSO CARRY A SPARE BOWL OF CANDY BEANS.

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- GOB!

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I'M VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE OFFER,

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AND I'M GONNA RUN IT UPSTAIRS,

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SEE WHAT KIND OF REACTION IT GETS.

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- HMM? - SO TO SPEAK. narrator: MICHAEL HOPED TO IMPRESS HIS FATHER.

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- I THINK IT ALL SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.

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PRETTY GOOD? IT WAS HORRIBLE.

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WHAT, ARE YOU TAKING, STUPID PILLS AGAIN? narrator: BUT THEIR OLD DYNAMIC RETURNED WHEN GEORGE SR. DID.

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GOB WAS THE ONLY ONE DOWN THERE

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WHO KNEW HOW TO HANDLE THAT HAIRLESS FREAK.

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- THANK GOD WE HAVE GOB ON OUR TEAM.

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- YOU KNOW, DAD, GOB DOESN'T REALLY DO ALL THAT MUCH

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FOR OUR TEAM.

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IN FACT, I THINK IT'S TIME THAT I GET PUT BACK IN CHARGE.

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- MICHAEL, LISTEN TO ME.

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LATELY, YOUR IDEAS, THEY'RE HORRIBLE,

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AND SITWELL'S JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT OUR BATTING ORDER

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FOR THE SOFTBALL GAME ON SATURDAY,

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I'M TELLING YOU.

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- GOB SAID THE SAME THING, DAD,

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BUT I-I DOUBT THAT THIS GUY'S

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TRYING TO DROP $15 MILLION TO FIND OUT OUR BATTING ORDER.

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- HEY, THIS GAME GOES WAY, WAY BACK. narrator: IT WAS A FIERCE RIVALRY,

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WITH GEORGE SR. USING EVERYTHING AT HIS DISPOSAL TO WIN.

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- NO HAIR. HEY, WE GOT NO HAIR. narrator: WHILE STAN SITWELL USED THE GAME

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TO RAISE FUNDS FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN.

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- OH, I THINK ONE OF YOUR ORPHANS

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IS HEADING TOWARDS THE STREET.

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STRIKE THREE.

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YOU GO DOWN THERE,

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AND YOU TELL HIM TO GO SCREW HIMSELF

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AND YOU APOLOGIZE TO YOUR BROTHER.

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WE NEED HIM ON OUR SIDE, AND WE NEED HIM HAPPY.

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- WHERE'S SITWELL?

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- SORRY, I TOLD HIM TO SCREW OFF.

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BUT GET THIS, HE OFFERED ME A JOB.

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- WHAT?

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- WELL, I'M NOT WAITING ON MY BROTHER.

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I PASS.

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YOU LOOK SURPRISED.

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- I'M SORRY. I MUST'VE PUT IT ON TOO HIGH.

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BUT YOU WERE RIGHT.

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IT WAS A BAD OFFER, AND YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH NOT TO TAKE IT.

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YOU GOT GUMPTION. YOU SPEAK YOUR MIND.

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THAT MEANS YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH TO WORK FOR ME.

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- [bleep] YOU.

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AND I ACCEPTED.

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HE'S WAITING FOR ME OUTSIDE.

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WE'RE GONNA SWING BY HIS WIGMAKER.

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HIS "JUST WOKE UP" HAIR IS FINALLY READY.

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YOU'RE REALLY GONNA DO THIS?

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- IT'S READY, MIKE.

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THEY'RE ONLY GONNA HOLD IT FOR 24 HOURS. narrator: TOBIAS AND MAEBY, MEANWHILE,

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HAD MAPPED THE ROUTE TO THE AUDITION.

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WELL, HERE WE ARE AND HOME WE GO,

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WITH PLENTY OF TIME TO GET YOU TO ENGLISH CLASS.

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- WAIT.

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YOU CAN'T DO A U-TURN ON YOUR DREAM.

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I SAY, WE GET YOU ON THE LOT

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AND GET THE FUNKE NAME OUT THERE,

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START TALKING YOU UP AROUND THE WATER COOLERS.

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- OH, MAEBY, WE'LL NEVER GET ON HERE.

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I MEAN, BEHIND THESE WALLS ARE THE BIGGEST STARS IN THE WORLD,

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AMERICA'S TREASURES.

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- DAMN IT!

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- DAD, YOU'RE AUDITIONING FOR THE PART OF A CONFIDENCE MAN.

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LET'S TRY A LITTLE CONFIDENCE.

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- YOU SAY CONFIDENCE MAN?

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HEY, I'M UP FOR THAT PART TOO.

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- OH. - GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

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- GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO. narrator: AS TOBIAS WAS GAINING SELF-CONFIDENCE,

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MICHAEL WAS STRUGGLING TO KEEP HIS.

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- WOW, YOU'RE PRESIDENT AGAIN?

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- YES, THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.

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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORDS, "SUDDEN VALLEY"?

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- SALAD DRESSING, I THINK.

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BUT FOR SOME REASON, I DON'T WANNA EAT IT.

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- RIGHT. BUT "PARADISE GARDENS."

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- YEAH, OKAY.

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I CAN SEE MARINATING A CHICKEN IN THAT.

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UM, I'M ACTUALLY HERE ABOUT THE SOFTBALL GAME.

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WE NEED SOME GIRLS ON THE TEAM, RIGHT?

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- YES, WE DO. THAT'S A LEAGUE REQUIREMENT. narrator: ONE THAT WAS DIFFICULT TO MEET,

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GIVEN GOB'S BEHAVIOR

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IN THE THIRD INNING OF LAST YEAR'S GAME.

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WE COULD JUST STAY OUT HERE AND WAIT FOR ANOTHER POP-UP. narrator: AND IN THE FIFTH INNING.

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- COME ON! YEAH, HERE WE GO! narrator: OH, AND BEFORE THE GAME.

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[all cheering]

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- WE LOST OUR ENTIRE OUTFIELD AND A COUPLE OF COURT CASES.

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WELL, YOU KNOW WHO WOULD BE GREAT

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AND NOT AT ALL LITIGIOUS IS ANN.

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- MMM, NOT ANN. - NO?

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- 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, THIS-- THIS GAME IS KIND OF OUR THING.

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- BUT ANN'S AMAZING.

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YOU KNOW, SHE COULD PLAY MY POSITION.

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- YOU SHOULD BE PLAYING THE FIELD...

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THERE, IN RIGHT, YOU KNOW?

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PLUS, I GOT AUNT LINDSAY PLAYING THIS YEAR.

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I CAN'T VERY WELL PULL HER OFF THE ROSTER.

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LET'S MAKE ANN THE BACKUP, OKAY?

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VERY GOOD WAY TO THINK ABOUT HER, AS A BACKUP.

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- SHE'S GONNA BE SO EXCITED. - GOOD.

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- MAYBE--MAYBE NOW I'LL GET A KISS.

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- OKAY.

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- OH.

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I MEANT FROM ANN.

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- YES, I KNOW.

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I JUST WANT TO GET IN THERE FIRST.

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- OKAY.

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- LINDSAY, WAKE UP.

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I NEED YOU TO PLAY ON THE SOFTBALL TEAM THIS YEAR. narrator: LINDSAY FELT THE INTENDED EFFECT OF TEAMOCIL:

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A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE.

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- COUNT ME IN, MICHAEL. HAPPY TO HELP THE TEAM.

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- GREAT NEWS. I'M BACK. - YOU JUST LEFT.

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- YEAH, I DON'T THINK THINGS ARE GONNA WORK OUT WITH SITWELL.

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I MEAN, WE PICKED UP HIS SLEEPY-HEAD WIG,

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EVERYTHING WAS COOL.

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NEXT THING I KNOW,

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HE'S ASKING ME FOR A BUNCH OF WORK IDEAS.

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SO, I THOUGHT I'D JUST QUIT

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AND GO BACK TO BEING PRESIDENT HERE.

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- I NEED TO DO THIS JOB, OKAY?

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I NEED TO PROVE THAT I CAN DO THIS JOB.

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- TO WHO?

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- TO...

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YOU.

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- MICHAEL, I'M YOUR BIG BROTHER.

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I'LL NEVER BE IMPRESSED WITH YOU.

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- STILL. - ANYWAY, LOOK.

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YOU CAN STILL DO IT.

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I JUST WANT THE OFFICE AND MY STUFFS AND TITLE.

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- WHAT ABOUT...

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IF I HELP YOU WITH YOUR WORK OVER AT SITWELL?

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- YOU'D DO THAT? - SURE.

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- YOU REALLY WANT ME TO SUCCEED AT SITWELL.

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- WELL, I JUST--

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HEY. COME ON.

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I REALLY WANT YOU TO BE OVER AT SITWELL. narrator: LUCILLE WAS WORRIED THAT HER SON BUSTER

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WAS BEING SENT INTO BATTLE WITH THE ARMY.

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- I FEEL THAT WE'VE NOT BROUGHT SOMETHING UP

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THAT MIGHT BE A SOLUTION,

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UM, TO SPARE MY FEELINGS.

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- SEND YOU IN HIS PLACE?

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I CALLED.

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THEY DON'T WANT YOU BACK. narrator: OSCAR HAD SERVED IN VIETNAM

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AS A CROC SPOTTER ON A SWIFT BOAT.

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- CROC! NO, SORRY. WAIT. LOG.

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JUST A LOG. NO, WAIT. SORRY. CROC!

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- IT WAS THERE THAT HE MET A YOUNG U.S.O. DANCER

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NAMED LUCILLE.

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- I'D PREFER AN OLDER MAN.

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- HEY, I'M FREE AFTER THE SHOW.

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- I SAID OLDER, BOB, NOT DEAD.

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- I SWORE I'D NEVER SAY HIS NAME AGAIN, BUT...

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IT'S TIME TO CALL YOU-KNOW-WHO. narrator: "YOU-KNOW-WHO" WAS AN ARMY SERGEANT

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NAMED BILL ANDERSON.

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HE AND LUCILLE WERE AN ITEM BEFORE SHE LEFT HIM FOR OSCAR.

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AT THE STUDIO, TOBIAS BEGAN TO CREATE BUZZ

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AROUND THE WATER COOLER.

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THAT FUNKE IS SOME KIND OF SOMETHING.

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BOY, THIS FUNKE'S ALL ANYBODY'S EVER TALKING ABOUT.

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I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT

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HOW BRILLIANT THAT FUNKE IS.

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OVERRATED.

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I'LL JUST MOVE-- I'M SORRY.

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I'M SORRY.

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OKAY. WE'RE OKAY.

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OKAY. narrator: MEANWHILE, MAEBY LOOKED FOR

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AN EMPTY OFFICE TO CALL GEORGE MICHAEL.

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WHERE ARE YOU?

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I BOUGHT YOU A DAY.

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I CAN'T PUT THIS BOOK REPORT OFF FOREVER.

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- SORRY, IS THIS YOUR OFFICE?

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- NO, I'M JUST SITTING BEHIND SOMEONE ELSE'S DESK

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PRETENDING THESE ARE MY KIDS.

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CAN YOU GET JUDE LAW IN HERE FOR A MEETING?

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- OH, I'M JUST A READER.

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- A READER? - YEAH.

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- I NEED A REPORT BY TOMORROW.

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BEFORE GYM-- LUNCH...

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WITH JIM...

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CARREY.

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IT'S THE GRINCH GUY. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG.

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- SO GET THIS. SITWELL LOVED MY IDEAS.

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- WELL, MY IDEAS, AND I KNEW IT.

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THAT'S GREAT.

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YOU KNOW, DAD NEVER COMPLIMENTED ANY OF THOSE.

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- HERE'S THE THING.

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- I NEED MORE.

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- THERE WERE 34 PROPOSALS IN THERE.

00:12:58

- YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW FAST THEY COME OUT

00:13:00

WHEN YOU READ THEM ALL IN A ROW.

00:13:01

- THIRTY-ONE, BAMBOO FLOOR UPGRADES.

00:13:03

CHEAPER, STRONGER."

00:13:04

I CAN'T READ THIS WORD.

00:13:05

"THIRTY-TWO, WIRELESS CRAPABILITY."

00:13:07

THAT ONE EXPLAINS ITSELF.

00:13:09

- "THIRTY-THREE,"

00:13:10

- GOB, THAT WAS SIX MONTHS' WORTH OF WORK.

00:13:11

YOU CAN'T JUST BLURT THEM ALL OUT AT ONCE.

00:13:12

- MR. BLUTH. - HE'S COMING.

00:13:14

I'VE GOT TO GO.

00:13:15

- YOU BLEW THEM AWAY.

00:13:17

BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING.

00:13:18

MAYBE WE CAN PLAY CATCH SOMETIME. narrator: GOB'S OWN FATHER HAD ONLY ONCE PLAYED CATCH WITH HIM,

00:13:24

AND IT ENDED AS BADLY AS ANY GAME OF CATCH COULD END.

00:13:27

- WHITE POWER!

00:13:29

- BETTER YET, MAYBE WE CAN PLAY BALL ON SATURDAY.

00:13:31

I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

00:13:32

I'VE GOT A NECK HAIR FITTING AT 11:00. narrator: GOB WAS BOTH ANGRY...

00:13:38

AND OVERWHELMED

00:13:39

BY THE APPROVAL FROM THIS NEW FATHER FIGURE.

00:13:43

IT WAS CONFUSING.

00:13:46

MICHAEL WAS LESS TORN AND WENT TO BRAG TO HIS FATHER.

00:13:49

- SO, APPARENTLY MY IDEAS AREN'T SO BAD,

00:13:51

AND THAT COMES FROM SITWELL HIMSELF.

00:13:53

- YOU LET YOUR IDEAS GO TO SITWELL?

00:13:55

- UH, NO.

00:13:56

I GAVE THEM TO GOB, WHO, UH, WORKS THERE NOW.

00:14:01

- YOU LET GOB GO TO SITWELL?

00:14:02

WHAT'D I TELL YOU? I TOLD YOU--

00:14:04

- "DON'T LET HIM GO." I KNOW.

00:14:06

BUT MY POINT IS THAT I DO ALL THE WORK, POP.

00:14:06

- YEAH, AND HE MAKES ALL THE PLAYS.

00:14:09

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

00:14:10

HE WAS THE BEST SOFTBALL PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE. narrator: GOB WAS ESPECIALLY GIFTED

00:14:13

AT SACRIFICING HIS BODY FOR THE PLAY.

00:14:16

- PLAY'S AT SECOND. PLAY'S AT SECOND.

00:14:18

YEAH! SUCK ON THAT, SITWELL. narrator: ALTHOUGH AT TIMES, EVEN THAT WASN'T ENOUGH.

00:14:22

- YOUR TWEETY BIRD DANCE JUST COST US A RUN, YOU MORON.

00:14:26

WHY DO YOU THINK SITWELL HIRED HIM?

00:14:26

YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

00:14:28

YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THE GAME,

00:14:29

AND YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THE COMPANY--

00:14:31

- THE GAME. COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

00:14:32

IF I WIN THE GAME,

00:14:33

YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH ME RUNNING THE COMPANY?

00:14:35

- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. - I'LL WIN THE GAME.

00:14:37

AND I'LL SHOW HIM THAT HIS LITTLE PLAN DIDN'T WORK,

00:14:39

ALL RIGHT?

00:14:40

WE CAN BUILD HOUSES. WE CAN WIN GAMES.

00:14:41

- THAT IS WHAT I WANNA HEAR.

00:14:43

- [crashing sound]

00:14:46

- WE CAN WIN GAMES.

00:14:49

LINDSAY, DID THAT OVEN VENT HIT YOU?

00:14:51

YOUR FOOT IS BLEEDING.

00:14:53

- MY FOOT IS BLEEDING. narrator: TEAMOCIL MAY CAUSE NUMBNESS OF THE EXTREMITIES.

00:14:57

- YOU'RE STILL GONNA BE ABLE TO PLAY

00:14:58

ON OUR TEAM THIS WEEKEND, RIGHT?

00:14:59

- WHY DO YOU THINK I'M TAKING TEAMOCIL?

00:15:01

- TO CURB YOUR SEX DRIVE.

00:15:02

- THAT'S RIGHT. WHAT TEAM ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? narrator: IT MAY ALSO CAUSE SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS.

00:15:08

- OKAY, LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA NEED

00:15:09

THAT FEMALE BACKUP PLAYER AFTER ALL.

00:15:11

AND ANN'S REALLY GOOD AT SOFTBALL, HUH?

00:15:13

- YEAH. SHE'S AMAZING.

00:15:14

YOU KNOW, SHE'S GOT THIS LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY.

00:15:15

YOU CAN'T KNOCK HER OVER.

00:15:16

- WELL, I COULD KNOCK HER OVER.

00:15:18

- DAD, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN'T.

00:15:19

THEY CALL HER "THE WALL," YOU KNOW?

00:15:22

WELL, THAT'S GREAT.

00:15:23

BUT I COULD KNOCK HER OVER.

00:15:24

I WON'T, BUT I COULD. narrator: AND LUCILLE CALLED ON AN OLD LOVER.

00:15:28

- WILLIAM? - YES, MA'AM?

00:15:30

- YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME? narrator: GENERAL ANDERSON HAD DONE

00:15:33

THREE TOURS OF DUTY IN VIETNAM,

00:15:35

BUT THE ONLY MEMORY HE'D BLOCKED WAS BEING LEFT BY LUCILLE.

00:15:38

- OH, GOD. THAT TOUCH.

00:15:41

OH, HOW COULD I FORGET? PAT.

00:15:43

- LUCILLE.

00:15:44

- I COULD NEVER FORGET THAT TOUCH.

00:15:46

- BILL, THEY'RE SHIPPING MY SON BUSTER OFF.

00:15:50

I CAN'T HAVE THAT HAPPEN.

00:15:51

- I'M SORRY. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

00:15:53

- IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

00:15:57

- MAYBE IF YOU...

00:15:59

GO DOWNTOWN.

00:16:02

- OH, I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN 30 YEARS.

00:16:08

[singing] WHEN YOU'RE ALONE AND LIFE IS MAKING YOU LONELY

00:16:12

YOU CAN ALWAYS GO

00:16:14

DOWNTOWN

00:16:16

- YOU MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE, BLUTH! narrator: AND SO, BUSTER WAS PULLED OUT OF COMBAT TRAINING...

00:16:22

- PUT 'EM DOWN AND HALT!

00:16:25

- AND PUT INTO U.S.O. TRAINING.

00:16:30

- IT JOLTS. narrator: AND BACK AT GOB'S NEW OFFICE...

00:16:33

- IT'S NOT REALLY DOING IT RIGHT NOW, BUT--

00:16:34

MICHAEL. - DO YOU STILL NEED THOSE IDEAS?

00:16:36

- COME ON. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

00:16:38

I CAN'T LET SITWELL DOWN.

00:16:39

I-I'M DESPERATE HERE.

00:16:41

- THEN I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

00:16:42

I WANT YOU TO THROW THE SOFTBALL GAME.

00:16:44

- NEVER!

00:16:46

HE GAVE ME THIS.

00:16:48

- COURSE HE DID. WHY DO YOU THINK HE HIRED YOU?

00:16:50

- HE LIKED MY IDEAS.

00:16:52

- THEY WERE MY IDEAS, AND, NO, HE DIDN'T.

00:16:54

HE JUST WANTS YOU FOR THE SOFTBALL GAME

00:16:56

BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO MAKE OUR FAMILY LOOK FOOLISH.

00:16:58

- I KNEW YOU HAD BAD IDEAS.

00:17:02

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL PLAY HIM.

00:17:03

I'LL THROW THAT SOFTBALL GAME.

00:17:06

NOBODY MAKES A FOOL OF OUR FAMILY WITHOUT MY HELP. narrator: TOBIAS HAD TALKED UP THE NAME FUNKE,

00:17:18

AND IT WAS TIME TO AUDITION.

00:17:20

- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

00:17:21

- TOBIAS.

00:17:23

- HE'S TOO SHORT. GIVE IT TO THE GUARD.

00:17:26

- OH. I-I'M NOT--

00:17:27

I--ON CAMERA, I SEEM MUCH TALLER. narrator: AND MAEBY PICKED UP THE READER'S REPORT,

00:17:32

WHICH HAD NOW BECOME HER BOOK REPORT.

00:17:34

- WHATCHA GOT THERE?

00:17:35

- I CAN'T REALLY DISCUSS IT.

00:17:36

- WELL, IF YOU WANNA GET IT MADE,

00:17:38

I'M THE GUY WHO HAS TO SEE IT.

00:17:40

YOU'RE THE FUNKE EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT?

00:17:42

WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE, 15?

00:17:43

- MARRY ME. [laughs]

00:17:45

- EVERYONE THINKS I LOOK YOUNG TOO.

00:17:47

- SO WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

00:17:48

- JUDE LAW. WHY DO YOU ASK?

00:17:49

- YEAH. GO YOUNG.

00:17:50

YOUNG GUY AND THE SEA, BIG SPRING-BREAKER FOR US,

00:17:52

CGI THE FISH.

00:17:54

LET'S FAST-TRACK THIS ONE. narrator: AND THAT'S WHEN MAEBY REALIZED

00:17:57

SHE HAD BECOME A SUCCESSFUL FILM EXECUTIVE.

00:17:59

- IT'S ALL WAXED UP.

00:18:00

- ALL WAXED UP? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

00:18:01

- I NEED SOMETHING. A JOB FOR MY DAD.

00:18:03

- YEAH, YEAH. SURE. OKAY.

00:18:05

- LISTEN TO ME. BRAND NEW CARS DON'T GET WAXED! narrator: THAT AFTERNOON IT WAS GAME TIME,

00:18:11

AND MICHAEL FELT CONFIDENT ABOUT A BLUTH WIN.

00:18:16

- SPIN, SPIN, SPIN. narrator: ANN WASN'T AS AMAZING

00:18:19

AS GEORGE MICHAEL LED HIS FATHER TO BELIEVE.

00:18:24

BUT GOB WAS PLAYING WORSE THAN EVER,

00:18:26

AS PER HIS AGREEMENT WITH MICHAEL.

00:18:37

- YOUR GUY CAN'T HIT, SITWELL. HE'S NEVER GONNA TOUCH IT.

00:18:40

- TIME OUT. - TIME OUT.

00:18:42

- GOB, ARE YOU OKAY?

00:18:43

- YEAH, I JUST CAN'T HIT TODAY.

00:18:45

GUESS YOU'RE REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN ME.

00:18:47

- HEY, EVERYBODY HAS DAYS LIKE THIS.

00:18:49

IT'S ONLY A GAME.

00:18:50

AFTER THAT LIST OF IDEAS YOU GAVE ME,

00:18:52

I DON'T CARE IF YOU BLOW THE WHOLE SEASON.

00:18:53

COME HERE, YOU.

00:18:57

OKAY. WE'RE GOOD. narrator: AND GOB FINALLY FELT THAT SOMEONE BELIEVED IN HIM.

00:19:04

EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN'T HIS IDEAS.

00:19:07

AND HE DECIDED TO MAKE SITWELL PROUD.

00:19:13

- GET ON THAT BALL!

00:19:18

- YOU GO!

00:19:20

- YOU BETTER PULL AN ANKLE OR SOMETHING.

00:19:22

COME ON, GEORGE MICHAEL! GET THAT BALL IN THERE! narrator: THEN HE WENT HEADFIRST INTO THE WALL.

00:19:26

- I'M SAFE. - YOU'RE OUT!

00:19:28

- OUT? I WAS SAFE! I'M SAFE!

00:19:31

- STOP WITH THE TWEETY BIRD DANCE, YOU MORON.

00:19:34

- DAD?

00:19:35

- HE MADE THE CALL. YOU'RE OUT.

00:19:36

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

00:19:37

- SHUSH, SHUSH, SHUSH. - DAD?

00:19:39

- HE'S SAFE.

00:19:40

- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?

00:19:42

- I'M TAKING CARE OF WHAT YOU SCREWED UP.

00:19:43

YOU BLEW IT AGAIN, MICHAEL.

00:19:45

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

00:19:46

I BLEW IT WHEN I LET YOU START CONTROLLING ME AGAIN.

00:19:49

I EVEN STOOPED TO CHEAT HERE AT A SOFTBALL GAME.

00:19:52

YOU TWO HAVE BEEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER.

00:19:53

HOW COME NOBODY CALLED ME?

00:19:54

- WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?

00:19:55

- I'M JUST FIXING SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN BUGGING ME.

00:19:57

HE WAS SAFE.

00:20:00

HE WAS. WE LOST. GET OVER IT.

00:20:04

YEAH, AND STAN SITWELL LIKED MY IDEAS.

00:20:06

HE REALLY BELIEVED IN ME.

00:20:07

- MY IDEAS. - WELL.

00:20:09

- AND I'M PRESIDENT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, DAD.

00:20:13

I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL ANYMORE.

00:20:16

- I'M PROUD OF YOU.

00:20:19

- REALLY? - YEAH. SEE YA.

00:20:25

- MICHAEL, I COULD'VE SWORN I JUST SAW DAD.

00:20:27

OR NOT.

00:20:28

I THINK HALLUCINATION IS ONE OF THE SIDE-EFFECTS OF TEAMOCIL. narrator: IT ISN'T.

00:20:33

- THANKS FOR MAKING THE RIGHT CALL THERE, MIKE.

00:20:35

- YEAH.

00:20:36

- SORRY I DIDN'T BLOW THE GAME.

00:20:37

- NO, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING,

00:20:39

AND YOU FINALLY GOT DAD TO ONE OF YOUR BALL GAMES.

00:20:42

- SCREW HIM. - YEAH.

00:20:45

- I MISS HIM SO MUCH. narrator: ON THE NEXT "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."

00:20:51

- MAEBY GETS HER FATHER A JOB.

00:20:52

- I GOT TO FIRE ONE OF YA.

00:20:54

- ANDY RICHTER!

00:20:55

HERE ARE THOSE HEAD SHOTS I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

00:20:57

- YEAH. I GOTTA GO.

00:20:58

- IT'S TOBIAS FUNKE.

00:20:59

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE HEAD SHOTS? narrator: AND BUSTER VISITS THE GENERAL.

00:21:02

- I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR MY NEW JOB.

00:21:04

[laughs]

00:21:05

WHAT'S WRONG? - I'M SHIPPING OUT TOMORROW.

00:21:08

- OH, I'VE GOT JUST THE THING.

00:21:11

- OH, I HAVEN'T FELT HANDS LIKE THAT IN YEARS.

00:21:15

YOU ARE COMING TO THE FRONT.