Home > Arrested Development
Switch Hitter
00:00:01male narrator: NOW THE STORY OF A WEALTHY FAMILY
00:00:03WHO LOST EVERYTHING...
00:00:04AND THE ONE SON WHO HAD NO CHOICE...
00:00:06BUT TO KEEP THEM ALL TOGETHER.
00:00:14IT'S "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."
00:00:19MICHAEL BLUTH HAD SCHEDULED A MEETING WITH STAN SITWELL,
00:00:22THE BLUTH COMPANY'S CHIEF COMPETITOR.
00:00:24- WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS MEETING AT HOME?
00:00:26- WELL, LET HIM SEE HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE
00:00:28WHO BUILDS SOLID HOUSES, YOU KNOW?
00:00:32I THINK HE'LL BE PRETTY IMPRESSED,
00:00:34KNOCK ON WOOD.
00:00:35[knocking] narrator: IN FACT, MICHAEL WAS MEETING AT HOME
00:00:41AT THE BEHEST OF HIS FUGITIVE FATHER.
00:00:43- KNOCK ON WOOD.
00:00:44[knocking]
00:00:46- DON'T YOU FIND THE TIMING OF THIS MEETING
00:00:47A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS?
00:00:48RIGHT BEFORE WE PLAY HIS COMPANY IN SOFTBALL?
00:00:51- NO, NO, OUR BUSINESS IS IN TROUBLE,
00:00:53AND I THINK HE SEES AN OPPORTUNITY.
00:00:54SO, I FIGURED THE GUY'S A FAMILY MAN,
00:00:56WHY NOT INVITE HIM OVER,
00:00:58- LET HIM SEE US IN OUR ELEMENT.
00:00:59- I HOPE YOU DON'T MEAN THE WHOLE FAMILY...
00:01:00'CAUSE GEORGE MICHAEL'S OFF WITH ANN.
00:01:02- ANN?
00:01:03HMM. THAT'LL PLAY WELL WITH SITWELL.
00:01:05"WHERE'S YOUR SON?" "HE'S OUT WITH ANN."
00:01:06"WHO'S ANN?"
00:01:08"DON'T ASK ME, I'M JUST THE BOY'S FATHER."
00:01:10- HEY, SCREW SITWELL!
00:01:11HE COMES IN HERE TELLING US HOW TO BUILD OUR HOUSES,
00:01:14HOW TO RAISE OUR KIDS.
00:01:15NO, WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.
00:01:16WE DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM HIM.
00:01:19DAMN IT. THIS THING GOT PUSHED IN AGAIN.
00:01:22GONNA NEED A BUTTER KNIFE.
00:01:23- THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
00:01:25GEORGE MICHAEL'S GOT THESE POWERFUL LITTLE FINGERS.
00:01:26HE SHOULD BE HERE.
00:01:27- HEY, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?
00:01:28HE'S THE ONE WHO SAID HE WOULD HELP ME ON THIS ESSAY
00:01:30FOR "THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA."
00:01:32- I'LL HELP YOU WITH THAT LATER.
00:01:33- OH, GREAT. OKAY.
00:01:35SO YOU HAVE TO READ THIS, AND THEN EXPLAIN IT,
00:01:37AND, THIS IS IMPORTANT,
00:01:38YOU HAVE TO SAY IT IN MY OWN WORDS, OKAY?
00:01:40SMART, BUT NOT TOO SMART.
00:01:41LET'S HAVE A FOUR-SYLLABLE MAX.
00:01:43- DO YOU WANNA SAY SOMETHING OR SHOULD I, TOBIAS?
00:01:45- NO, I BELIEVE IN LETTING CHILDREN
00:01:47LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES, MICHAEL.
00:01:49THEY MAKE A MISTAKE ONCE, THEY SHAN'T MAKE IT TWICE.
00:01:53OH, HERE I GO!
00:01:56DON'T WORRY, IT HAS NOT FALLEN INTO THE GARAGE.
00:01:58KNOCK ON WOOD.
00:01:59[loud crash]
00:02:03- YOU GONNA WANT TO HELP ME WITH THAT?
00:02:04- NO, I CAN'T. I HAVE AN AUDITION TOMORROW.
00:02:07I'M UP FOR A MINOR, BUT MEATY, ROLE IN A FEATURE FILM.
00:02:11- "CONFIDENCE MAN TWO."
00:02:13- OH, YEAH?
00:02:14I DIDN'T SEE THE FIRST CONFIDENCE MAN.
00:02:15- NO, CONFIDENCE MAN TWO IS MY CHARACTER.
00:02:17I THINK I'LL DRIVE UP TODAY AND PLOT MY ROUTE TO THE STUDIO.
00:02:21- HOW 'BOUT I COME WITH YOU?
00:02:22I MEAN, I COULD HELP YOU PREPARE.
00:02:24- YES, WELL, IT'S FOR A CON MAN,
00:02:25WHICH I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT.
00:02:28AND BESIDES, DON'T YOU HAVE SCHOOL?
00:02:31- NO, UM...
00:02:33TODAY IS "HELP YOUR DAD FOLLOW HIS DREAM" DAY.
00:02:36- GREAT. WE CAN TAKE THE CARPOOL LANE.
00:02:39- I NEED ICE.
00:02:41- I'M GLAD SITWELL'S COMING OVER.
00:02:43LET HIM SEE THAT WE'RE DOING FINE AS A FAMILY.
00:02:46THE ONLY HELP WE NEED IS FROM EACH OTHER.
00:02:48- AND APPARENTLY WHATEVER'S IN THAT BOTTLE.
00:02:50- THANKS FOR REMINDING ME. MY TEAMOCIL.
00:02:53- WAIT A MINUTE. TEAMOCIL?
00:02:54ISN'T THAT THAT SUPPLEMENT THAT YOU AND TOBIAS WERE HOCKING
00:02:56BEFORE THE F.D.A. SHUT YOU DOWN? narrator: IN THE MID '90s, TOBIAS FORMED A FOLK BAND
00:03:00TO PROMOTE A SUPPLEMENT
00:03:02THAT PROMISED BETTER UNITY AND TEAMWORK.
00:03:04- [singing] TEAMOCIL
00:03:06- TEAMOCIL MAY DECREASE YOUR SEX DRIVE.
00:03:08- [singing] TEAMOCIL
00:03:09- GOOD JOB, BUDDY. - THANKS, FRIEND.
00:03:11SINCE I'VE BEEN TAKING THIS AGAIN,
00:03:12I'VE BEEN GETTING ALONG GREAT WITH MY HUSBAND.
00:03:15YOU'RE TAKING IT FOR THE SIDE EFFECT, AREN'T YOU?
00:03:17- MICHAEL! - OH, GOD.
00:03:18MOTHER, NOT A GOOD TIME. I'M HAVING A MEETING HERE.
00:03:20- LOOK AT WHAT BUSTER SENT FROM THE ARMY.
00:03:22- IT'S BLACKED OUT.
00:03:23- OH, THE GOVERNMENT. KEEP READING.
00:03:25- "SERGEANT BLANK IS TREATING ME VERY BLANK,
00:03:28"AND IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE SHIPPING OFF TO BLANK
00:03:30"IN ABOUT A BLANK.
00:03:31I BLANK YOU, MOTHER. BUSTER."
00:03:33- I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN.
00:03:34I EVEN TRIED TO CONVINCE THEM HE'S GAY,
00:03:36BUT NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN LIKE ME
00:03:38WOULD HAVE A GAY SON.
00:03:39- WELL, YOU CERTAINLY TRIED.
00:03:40YOU GUYS WORE MATCHING OUTFITS TILL HE WAS 12. narrator: EVEN ONCE ON A MAGAZINE COVER
00:03:43THAT HAD BEEN MOCKED WITHIN THE FAMILY FOR YEARS.
00:03:46LUCILLE, I-I'LL SAY IT AGAIN.
00:03:48YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE ARMY.
00:03:51REMEMBER, LUCILLE?
00:03:54- NO, I DON'T.
00:03:56- GET ME A VODKA, ROCKS.
00:03:57- MOM, IT'S BREAKFAST.
00:03:58- AND A PIECE OF TOAST.
00:04:00- PLEASE, STAN SITWELL'S COMING OVER.
00:04:01- THAT HAIRLESS FREAK IS COMING HERE?
00:04:03NONE OF HIS HAIR IS REAL, YOU KNOW.
00:04:05- YOU MEAN THE GUY WE'RE MEETING WITH
00:04:07CAN'T EVEN GROW HIS OWN HAIR?
00:04:08COME ON!
00:04:09- IT'S CALLED ALOPECIA, AND I'D APPRECIATE IT
00:04:11IF WE COULD ALL BE SENSITIVE TO IT, OKAY?
00:04:13HE HAPPENS TO BE A VERY MODEST AND GENEROUS MAN.
00:04:15- MODEST AND GENEROUS?
00:04:17- THEN WHY IS HE ALWAYS WAVING
00:04:18GIANT $10 MILLION CHECKS OVER HIS HEAD
00:04:20EVERY TIME SOME--
00:04:22- GO AHEAD, MOM. FINISH YOUR THOUGHT.
00:04:23"EVERY TIME SOME CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL NEEDS FUNDING"?
00:04:27- NONETHELESS, WE COULD GET A GIANT CHECKBOOK TOO.
00:04:30WE'RE JUST NOT THAT STARVED FOR ATTENTION. narrator: AND LATER, SITWELL LAID OUT HIS PLANS.
00:04:37- SORRY THAT MY SON COULDN'T BE HERE.
00:04:38- LET ME GUESS. GIRLFRIEND.
00:04:40YOU KNOW, IT COULD BE WORSE.
00:04:41HE COULD WANNA MARRY YOUR MOTHER.
00:04:43[laughs]
00:04:45OH, I'M SORRY, IS YOUR FAMILY NOT LAUGHING AT THAT YET?
00:04:47OKAY, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'M OFFERING.
00:04:49YOU GOT A WONDERFUL PIECE OF PROPERTY HERE
00:04:50THAT'S GOING NOWHERE.
00:04:52SO WHAT I PROPOSE IS A CO-VENTURE
00:04:53WITH YOUR SUDDEN VALLEY DEVELOPMENT.
00:04:54THE FIRST THING YOU MIGHT WANNA CHANGE, THOUGH, IS THE NAME.
00:04:57YOU KNOW, SUDDEN VALLEY CONJURES UP THE IMAGE OF A SINKHOLE, NO?
00:05:00- I TOLD THAT TO DAD. I TOLD THAT TO MY DAD.
00:05:03- I'M THINKING "PARADISE GARDENS."
00:05:06- [wind whistling]
00:05:07- I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE THAT WRITTEN--
00:05:10I WANT YOU TO SEE THAT SO YOU DON'T THINK THAT I'M--
00:05:12I HAVE THAT WRITTEN DOWN ON MY NOTEBOOK. narrator: WHEN GEORGE SR. WAS IN CHARGE,
00:05:15HE HAD A HABIT OF SHOOTING DOWN ANY IDEA MICHAEL CAME UP WITH.
00:05:18- AND SUDDEN VALLEY JUST SORT OF IMPLIES
00:05:21THAT SOMETHING AWFUL COULD HAPPEN ALL OF A SUDDEN.
00:05:23YOU KNOW, PLUS, IT'S ON A HILL.
00:05:25- WHAT, ARE YOU TAKING, STUPID PILLS?
00:05:26COME ON.
00:05:27SAVE US SOME MONEY. narrator: THIS WAS A MANAGEMENT TOOL
00:05:30THAT HE USED TO KEEP MICHAEL WORKING FOR HIS APPROVAL.
00:05:34- THAT WAS A HARD ONE TO SAY NO TO.
00:05:35- THE ONLY THING I ASK IS, OUT OF THE 450 HOMES WE BUILD,
00:05:38ONE BE GIVEN TO A DISADVANTAGED FAMILY FROM THE INNER CITY.
00:05:41- THAT'S GREAT.
00:05:42SO THE OTHER 449 FAMILIES LIVE IN FEAR?
00:05:45IS THAT WHAT WE'RE SAYING?
00:05:46I MEAN, COME ON! WHERE'S YOUR DECEN--
00:05:48WHAT THE HELL JUST FELL OFF YOUR FACE?
00:05:50ONE OF THIS GUY'S EYEBROWS JUST FELL IN THE BOWL CANDY BEANS.
00:05:52- I ALWAYS CARRY A SPARE.
00:05:54- WELL, I HOPE YOU ALSO CARRY A SPARE BOWL OF CANDY BEANS.
00:05:56- GOB!
00:05:57I'M VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE OFFER,
00:05:59AND I'M GONNA RUN IT UPSTAIRS,
00:06:01SEE WHAT KIND OF REACTION IT GETS.
00:06:02- HMM? - SO TO SPEAK. narrator: MICHAEL HOPED TO IMPRESS HIS FATHER.
00:06:07- I THINK IT ALL SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.
00:06:09PRETTY GOOD? IT WAS HORRIBLE.
00:06:10WHAT, ARE YOU TAKING, STUPID PILLS AGAIN? narrator: BUT THEIR OLD DYNAMIC RETURNED WHEN GEORGE SR. DID.
00:06:15GOB WAS THE ONLY ONE DOWN THERE
00:06:16WHO KNEW HOW TO HANDLE THAT HAIRLESS FREAK.
00:06:18- THANK GOD WE HAVE GOB ON OUR TEAM.
00:06:20- YOU KNOW, DAD, GOB DOESN'T REALLY DO ALL THAT MUCH
00:06:22FOR OUR TEAM.
00:06:24IN FACT, I THINK IT'S TIME THAT I GET PUT BACK IN CHARGE.
00:06:26- MICHAEL, LISTEN TO ME.
00:06:27LATELY, YOUR IDEAS, THEY'RE HORRIBLE,
00:06:29AND SITWELL'S JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT OUR BATTING ORDER
00:06:32FOR THE SOFTBALL GAME ON SATURDAY,
00:06:34I'M TELLING YOU.
00:06:35- GOB SAID THE SAME THING, DAD,
00:06:36BUT I-I DOUBT THAT THIS GUY'S
00:06:38TRYING TO DROP $15 MILLION TO FIND OUT OUR BATTING ORDER.
00:06:41- HEY, THIS GAME GOES WAY, WAY BACK. narrator: IT WAS A FIERCE RIVALRY,
00:06:45WITH GEORGE SR. USING EVERYTHING AT HIS DISPOSAL TO WIN.
00:06:48- NO HAIR. HEY, WE GOT NO HAIR. narrator: WHILE STAN SITWELL USED THE GAME
00:06:52TO RAISE FUNDS FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN.
00:06:55- OH, I THINK ONE OF YOUR ORPHANS
00:06:56IS HEADING TOWARDS THE STREET.
00:06:58STRIKE THREE.
00:07:00YOU GO DOWN THERE,
00:07:01AND YOU TELL HIM TO GO SCREW HIMSELF
00:07:03AND YOU APOLOGIZE TO YOUR BROTHER.
00:07:04WE NEED HIM ON OUR SIDE, AND WE NEED HIM HAPPY.
00:07:07- WHERE'S SITWELL?
00:07:08- SORRY, I TOLD HIM TO SCREW OFF.
00:07:09BUT GET THIS, HE OFFERED ME A JOB.
00:07:11- WHAT?
00:07:12- WELL, I'M NOT WAITING ON MY BROTHER.
00:07:14I PASS.
00:07:15YOU LOOK SURPRISED.
00:07:17- I'M SORRY. I MUST'VE PUT IT ON TOO HIGH.
00:07:19BUT YOU WERE RIGHT.
00:07:21IT WAS A BAD OFFER, AND YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH NOT TO TAKE IT.
00:07:23YOU GOT GUMPTION. YOU SPEAK YOUR MIND.
00:07:24THAT MEANS YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH TO WORK FOR ME.
00:07:27- [bleep] YOU.
00:07:28AND I ACCEPTED.
00:07:29HE'S WAITING FOR ME OUTSIDE.
00:07:30WE'RE GONNA SWING BY HIS WIGMAKER.
00:07:32HIS "JUST WOKE UP" HAIR IS FINALLY READY.
00:07:35YOU'RE REALLY GONNA DO THIS?
00:07:37- IT'S READY, MIKE.
00:07:38THEY'RE ONLY GONNA HOLD IT FOR 24 HOURS. narrator: TOBIAS AND MAEBY, MEANWHILE,
00:07:43HAD MAPPED THE ROUTE TO THE AUDITION.
00:07:46WELL, HERE WE ARE AND HOME WE GO,
00:07:49WITH PLENTY OF TIME TO GET YOU TO ENGLISH CLASS.
00:07:52- WAIT.
00:07:53YOU CAN'T DO A U-TURN ON YOUR DREAM.
00:07:55I SAY, WE GET YOU ON THE LOT
00:07:57AND GET THE FUNKE NAME OUT THERE,
00:07:59START TALKING YOU UP AROUND THE WATER COOLERS.
00:08:00- OH, MAEBY, WE'LL NEVER GET ON HERE.
00:08:02I MEAN, BEHIND THESE WALLS ARE THE BIGGEST STARS IN THE WORLD,
00:08:06AMERICA'S TREASURES.
00:08:11- DAMN IT!
00:08:12- DAD, YOU'RE AUDITIONING FOR THE PART OF A CONFIDENCE MAN.
00:08:15LET'S TRY A LITTLE CONFIDENCE.
00:08:17- YOU SAY CONFIDENCE MAN?
00:08:18HEY, I'M UP FOR THAT PART TOO.
00:08:20- OH. - GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
00:08:22- GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO. narrator: AS TOBIAS WAS GAINING SELF-CONFIDENCE,
00:08:26MICHAEL WAS STRUGGLING TO KEEP HIS.
00:08:29- WOW, YOU'RE PRESIDENT AGAIN?
00:08:30- YES, THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.
00:08:31WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORDS, "SUDDEN VALLEY"?
00:08:33- SALAD DRESSING, I THINK.
00:08:36BUT FOR SOME REASON, I DON'T WANNA EAT IT.
00:08:38- RIGHT. BUT "PARADISE GARDENS."
00:08:40- YEAH, OKAY.
00:08:41I CAN SEE MARINATING A CHICKEN IN THAT.
00:08:43UM, I'M ACTUALLY HERE ABOUT THE SOFTBALL GAME.
00:08:45WE NEED SOME GIRLS ON THE TEAM, RIGHT?
00:08:46- YES, WE DO. THAT'S A LEAGUE REQUIREMENT. narrator: ONE THAT WAS DIFFICULT TO MEET,
00:08:50GIVEN GOB'S BEHAVIOR
00:08:51IN THE THIRD INNING OF LAST YEAR'S GAME.
00:08:54WE COULD JUST STAY OUT HERE AND WAIT FOR ANOTHER POP-UP. narrator: AND IN THE FIFTH INNING.
00:08:57- COME ON! YEAH, HERE WE GO! narrator: OH, AND BEFORE THE GAME.
00:09:01[all cheering]
00:09:04- WE LOST OUR ENTIRE OUTFIELD AND A COUPLE OF COURT CASES.
00:09:07WELL, YOU KNOW WHO WOULD BE GREAT
00:09:08AND NOT AT ALL LITIGIOUS IS ANN.
00:09:12- MMM, NOT ANN. - NO?
00:09:13- 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, THIS-- THIS GAME IS KIND OF OUR THING.
00:09:17- BUT ANN'S AMAZING.
00:09:18YOU KNOW, SHE COULD PLAY MY POSITION.
00:09:20- YOU SHOULD BE PLAYING THE FIELD...
00:09:21THERE, IN RIGHT, YOU KNOW?
00:09:23PLUS, I GOT AUNT LINDSAY PLAYING THIS YEAR.
00:09:25I CAN'T VERY WELL PULL HER OFF THE ROSTER.
00:09:27LET'S MAKE ANN THE BACKUP, OKAY?
00:09:29VERY GOOD WAY TO THINK ABOUT HER, AS A BACKUP.
00:09:32- SHE'S GONNA BE SO EXCITED. - GOOD.
00:09:34- MAYBE--MAYBE NOW I'LL GET A KISS.
00:09:36- OKAY.
00:09:37- OH.
00:09:41I MEANT FROM ANN.
00:09:43- YES, I KNOW.
00:09:44I JUST WANT TO GET IN THERE FIRST.
00:09:48- OKAY.
00:09:51- LINDSAY, WAKE UP.
00:09:52I NEED YOU TO PLAY ON THE SOFTBALL TEAM THIS YEAR. narrator: LINDSAY FELT THE INTENDED EFFECT OF TEAMOCIL:
00:09:57A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE.
00:09:58- COUNT ME IN, MICHAEL. HAPPY TO HELP THE TEAM.
00:10:04- GREAT NEWS. I'M BACK. - YOU JUST LEFT.
00:10:07- YEAH, I DON'T THINK THINGS ARE GONNA WORK OUT WITH SITWELL.
00:10:09I MEAN, WE PICKED UP HIS SLEEPY-HEAD WIG,
00:10:11EVERYTHING WAS COOL.
00:10:12NEXT THING I KNOW,
00:10:13HE'S ASKING ME FOR A BUNCH OF WORK IDEAS.
00:10:15SO, I THOUGHT I'D JUST QUIT
00:10:17AND GO BACK TO BEING PRESIDENT HERE.
00:10:19- I NEED TO DO THIS JOB, OKAY?
00:10:21I NEED TO PROVE THAT I CAN DO THIS JOB.
00:10:23- TO WHO?
00:10:24- TO...
00:10:26YOU.
00:10:28- MICHAEL, I'M YOUR BIG BROTHER.
00:10:30I'LL NEVER BE IMPRESSED WITH YOU.
00:10:32- STILL. - ANYWAY, LOOK.
00:10:33YOU CAN STILL DO IT.
00:10:34I JUST WANT THE OFFICE AND MY STUFFS AND TITLE.
00:10:38- WHAT ABOUT...
00:10:40IF I HELP YOU WITH YOUR WORK OVER AT SITWELL?
00:10:44- YOU'D DO THAT? - SURE.
00:10:46- YOU REALLY WANT ME TO SUCCEED AT SITWELL.
00:10:49- WELL, I JUST--
00:10:50HEY. COME ON.
00:10:51I REALLY WANT YOU TO BE OVER AT SITWELL. narrator: LUCILLE WAS WORRIED THAT HER SON BUSTER
00:11:02WAS BEING SENT INTO BATTLE WITH THE ARMY.
00:11:04- I FEEL THAT WE'VE NOT BROUGHT SOMETHING UP
00:11:06THAT MIGHT BE A SOLUTION,
00:11:08UM, TO SPARE MY FEELINGS.
00:11:10- SEND YOU IN HIS PLACE?
00:11:12I CALLED.
00:11:13THEY DON'T WANT YOU BACK. narrator: OSCAR HAD SERVED IN VIETNAM
00:11:16AS A CROC SPOTTER ON A SWIFT BOAT.
00:11:18- CROC! NO, SORRY. WAIT. LOG.
00:11:21JUST A LOG. NO, WAIT. SORRY. CROC!
00:11:23- IT WAS THERE THAT HE MET A YOUNG U.S.O. DANCER
00:11:27NAMED LUCILLE.
00:11:28- I'D PREFER AN OLDER MAN.
00:11:29- HEY, I'M FREE AFTER THE SHOW.
00:11:31- I SAID OLDER, BOB, NOT DEAD.
00:11:36- I SWORE I'D NEVER SAY HIS NAME AGAIN, BUT...
00:11:39IT'S TIME TO CALL YOU-KNOW-WHO. narrator: "YOU-KNOW-WHO" WAS AN ARMY SERGEANT
00:11:45NAMED BILL ANDERSON.
00:11:46HE AND LUCILLE WERE AN ITEM BEFORE SHE LEFT HIM FOR OSCAR.
00:11:51AT THE STUDIO, TOBIAS BEGAN TO CREATE BUZZ
00:11:55AROUND THE WATER COOLER.
00:11:56THAT FUNKE IS SOME KIND OF SOMETHING.
00:11:58BOY, THIS FUNKE'S ALL ANYBODY'S EVER TALKING ABOUT.
00:12:00I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT
00:12:02HOW BRILLIANT THAT FUNKE IS.
00:12:04OVERRATED.
00:12:05I'LL JUST MOVE-- I'M SORRY.
00:12:07I'M SORRY.
00:12:08OKAY. WE'RE OKAY.
00:12:10OKAY. narrator: MEANWHILE, MAEBY LOOKED FOR
00:12:12AN EMPTY OFFICE TO CALL GEORGE MICHAEL.
00:12:14WHERE ARE YOU?
00:12:15I BOUGHT YOU A DAY.
00:12:16I CAN'T PUT THIS BOOK REPORT OFF FOREVER.
00:12:19- SORRY, IS THIS YOUR OFFICE?
00:12:21- NO, I'M JUST SITTING BEHIND SOMEONE ELSE'S DESK
00:12:23PRETENDING THESE ARE MY KIDS.
00:12:25CAN YOU GET JUDE LAW IN HERE FOR A MEETING?
00:12:27- OH, I'M JUST A READER.
00:12:29- A READER? - YEAH.
00:12:32- I NEED A REPORT BY TOMORROW.
00:12:34BEFORE GYM-- LUNCH...
00:12:36WITH JIM...
00:12:37CARREY.
00:12:39IT'S THE GRINCH GUY. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG.
00:12:45- SO GET THIS. SITWELL LOVED MY IDEAS.
00:12:48- WELL, MY IDEAS, AND I KNEW IT.
00:12:51THAT'S GREAT.
00:12:52YOU KNOW, DAD NEVER COMPLIMENTED ANY OF THOSE.
00:12:54- HERE'S THE THING.
00:12:55- I NEED MORE.
00:12:56- THERE WERE 34 PROPOSALS IN THERE.
00:12:58- YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW FAST THEY COME OUT
00:13:00WHEN YOU READ THEM ALL IN A ROW.
00:13:01- THIRTY-ONE, BAMBOO FLOOR UPGRADES.
00:13:03CHEAPER, STRONGER."
00:13:04I CAN'T READ THIS WORD.
00:13:05"THIRTY-TWO, WIRELESS CRAPABILITY."
00:13:07THAT ONE EXPLAINS ITSELF.
00:13:09- "THIRTY-THREE,"
00:13:10- GOB, THAT WAS SIX MONTHS' WORTH OF WORK.
00:13:11YOU CAN'T JUST BLURT THEM ALL OUT AT ONCE.
00:13:12- MR. BLUTH. - HE'S COMING.
00:13:14I'VE GOT TO GO.
00:13:15- YOU BLEW THEM AWAY.
00:13:17BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING.
00:13:18MAYBE WE CAN PLAY CATCH SOMETIME. narrator: GOB'S OWN FATHER HAD ONLY ONCE PLAYED CATCH WITH HIM,
00:13:24AND IT ENDED AS BADLY AS ANY GAME OF CATCH COULD END.
00:13:27- WHITE POWER!
00:13:29- BETTER YET, MAYBE WE CAN PLAY BALL ON SATURDAY.
00:13:31I'LL MEET YOU THERE.
00:13:32I'VE GOT A NECK HAIR FITTING AT 11:00. narrator: GOB WAS BOTH ANGRY...
00:13:38AND OVERWHELMED
00:13:39BY THE APPROVAL FROM THIS NEW FATHER FIGURE.
00:13:43IT WAS CONFUSING.
00:13:46MICHAEL WAS LESS TORN AND WENT TO BRAG TO HIS FATHER.
00:13:49- SO, APPARENTLY MY IDEAS AREN'T SO BAD,
00:13:51AND THAT COMES FROM SITWELL HIMSELF.
00:13:53- YOU LET YOUR IDEAS GO TO SITWELL?
00:13:55- UH, NO.
00:13:56I GAVE THEM TO GOB, WHO, UH, WORKS THERE NOW.
00:14:01- YOU LET GOB GO TO SITWELL?
00:14:02WHAT'D I TELL YOU? I TOLD YOU--
00:14:04- "DON'T LET HIM GO." I KNOW.
00:14:06BUT MY POINT IS THAT I DO ALL THE WORK, POP.
00:14:06- YEAH, AND HE MAKES ALL THE PLAYS.
00:14:09DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
00:14:10HE WAS THE BEST SOFTBALL PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE. narrator: GOB WAS ESPECIALLY GIFTED
00:14:13AT SACRIFICING HIS BODY FOR THE PLAY.
00:14:16- PLAY'S AT SECOND. PLAY'S AT SECOND.
00:14:18YEAH! SUCK ON THAT, SITWELL. narrator: ALTHOUGH AT TIMES, EVEN THAT WASN'T ENOUGH.
00:14:22- YOUR TWEETY BIRD DANCE JUST COST US A RUN, YOU MORON.
00:14:26WHY DO YOU THINK SITWELL HIRED HIM?
00:14:26YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
00:14:28YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THE GAME,
00:14:29AND YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THE COMPANY--
00:14:31- THE GAME. COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
00:14:32IF I WIN THE GAME,
00:14:33YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH ME RUNNING THE COMPANY?
00:14:35- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. - I'LL WIN THE GAME.
00:14:37AND I'LL SHOW HIM THAT HIS LITTLE PLAN DIDN'T WORK,
00:14:39ALL RIGHT?
00:14:40WE CAN BUILD HOUSES. WE CAN WIN GAMES.
00:14:41- THAT IS WHAT I WANNA HEAR.
00:14:43- [crashing sound]
00:14:46- WE CAN WIN GAMES.
00:14:49LINDSAY, DID THAT OVEN VENT HIT YOU?
00:14:51YOUR FOOT IS BLEEDING.
00:14:53- MY FOOT IS BLEEDING. narrator: TEAMOCIL MAY CAUSE NUMBNESS OF THE EXTREMITIES.
00:14:57- YOU'RE STILL GONNA BE ABLE TO PLAY
00:14:58ON OUR TEAM THIS WEEKEND, RIGHT?
00:14:59- WHY DO YOU THINK I'M TAKING TEAMOCIL?
00:15:01- TO CURB YOUR SEX DRIVE.
00:15:02- THAT'S RIGHT. WHAT TEAM ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? narrator: IT MAY ALSO CAUSE SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS.
00:15:08- OKAY, LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA NEED
00:15:09THAT FEMALE BACKUP PLAYER AFTER ALL.
00:15:11AND ANN'S REALLY GOOD AT SOFTBALL, HUH?
00:15:13- YEAH. SHE'S AMAZING.
00:15:14YOU KNOW, SHE'S GOT THIS LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY.
00:15:15YOU CAN'T KNOCK HER OVER.
00:15:16- WELL, I COULD KNOCK HER OVER.
00:15:18- DAD, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN'T.
00:15:19THEY CALL HER "THE WALL," YOU KNOW?
00:15:22WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
00:15:23BUT I COULD KNOCK HER OVER.
00:15:24I WON'T, BUT I COULD. narrator: AND LUCILLE CALLED ON AN OLD LOVER.
00:15:28- WILLIAM? - YES, MA'AM?
00:15:30- YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME? narrator: GENERAL ANDERSON HAD DONE
00:15:33THREE TOURS OF DUTY IN VIETNAM,
00:15:35BUT THE ONLY MEMORY HE'D BLOCKED WAS BEING LEFT BY LUCILLE.
00:15:38- OH, GOD. THAT TOUCH.
00:15:41OH, HOW COULD I FORGET? PAT.
00:15:43- LUCILLE.
00:15:44- I COULD NEVER FORGET THAT TOUCH.
00:15:46- BILL, THEY'RE SHIPPING MY SON BUSTER OFF.
00:15:50I CAN'T HAVE THAT HAPPEN.
00:15:51- I'M SORRY. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.
00:15:53- IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?
00:15:57- MAYBE IF YOU...
00:15:59GO DOWNTOWN.
00:16:02- OH, I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN 30 YEARS.
00:16:08[singing] WHEN YOU'RE ALONE AND LIFE IS MAKING YOU LONELY
00:16:12YOU CAN ALWAYS GO
00:16:14DOWNTOWN
00:16:16- YOU MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE, BLUTH! narrator: AND SO, BUSTER WAS PULLED OUT OF COMBAT TRAINING...
00:16:22- PUT 'EM DOWN AND HALT!
00:16:25- AND PUT INTO U.S.O. TRAINING.
00:16:30- IT JOLTS. narrator: AND BACK AT GOB'S NEW OFFICE...
00:16:33- IT'S NOT REALLY DOING IT RIGHT NOW, BUT--
00:16:34MICHAEL. - DO YOU STILL NEED THOSE IDEAS?
00:16:36- COME ON. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
00:16:38I CAN'T LET SITWELL DOWN.
00:16:39I-I'M DESPERATE HERE.
00:16:41- THEN I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
00:16:42I WANT YOU TO THROW THE SOFTBALL GAME.
00:16:44- NEVER!
00:16:46HE GAVE ME THIS.
00:16:48- COURSE HE DID. WHY DO YOU THINK HE HIRED YOU?
00:16:50- HE LIKED MY IDEAS.
00:16:52- THEY WERE MY IDEAS, AND, NO, HE DIDN'T.
00:16:54HE JUST WANTS YOU FOR THE SOFTBALL GAME
00:16:56BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO MAKE OUR FAMILY LOOK FOOLISH.
00:16:58- I KNEW YOU HAD BAD IDEAS.
00:17:02ALL RIGHT, WE'LL PLAY HIM.
00:17:03I'LL THROW THAT SOFTBALL GAME.
00:17:06NOBODY MAKES A FOOL OF OUR FAMILY WITHOUT MY HELP. narrator: TOBIAS HAD TALKED UP THE NAME FUNKE,
00:17:18AND IT WAS TIME TO AUDITION.
00:17:20- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
00:17:21- TOBIAS.
00:17:23- HE'S TOO SHORT. GIVE IT TO THE GUARD.
00:17:26- OH. I-I'M NOT--
00:17:27I--ON CAMERA, I SEEM MUCH TALLER. narrator: AND MAEBY PICKED UP THE READER'S REPORT,
00:17:32WHICH HAD NOW BECOME HER BOOK REPORT.
00:17:34- WHATCHA GOT THERE?
00:17:35- I CAN'T REALLY DISCUSS IT.
00:17:36- WELL, IF YOU WANNA GET IT MADE,
00:17:38I'M THE GUY WHO HAS TO SEE IT.
00:17:40YOU'RE THE FUNKE EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT?
00:17:42WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE, 15?
00:17:43- MARRY ME. [laughs]
00:17:45- EVERYONE THINKS I LOOK YOUNG TOO.
00:17:47- SO WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
00:17:48- JUDE LAW. WHY DO YOU ASK?
00:17:49- YEAH. GO YOUNG.
00:17:50YOUNG GUY AND THE SEA, BIG SPRING-BREAKER FOR US,
00:17:52CGI THE FISH.
00:17:54LET'S FAST-TRACK THIS ONE. narrator: AND THAT'S WHEN MAEBY REALIZED
00:17:57SHE HAD BECOME A SUCCESSFUL FILM EXECUTIVE.
00:17:59- IT'S ALL WAXED UP.
00:18:00- ALL WAXED UP? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
00:18:01- I NEED SOMETHING. A JOB FOR MY DAD.
00:18:03- YEAH, YEAH. SURE. OKAY.
00:18:05- LISTEN TO ME. BRAND NEW CARS DON'T GET WAXED! narrator: THAT AFTERNOON IT WAS GAME TIME,
00:18:11AND MICHAEL FELT CONFIDENT ABOUT A BLUTH WIN.
00:18:16- SPIN, SPIN, SPIN. narrator: ANN WASN'T AS AMAZING
00:18:19AS GEORGE MICHAEL LED HIS FATHER TO BELIEVE.
00:18:24BUT GOB WAS PLAYING WORSE THAN EVER,
00:18:26AS PER HIS AGREEMENT WITH MICHAEL.
00:18:37- YOUR GUY CAN'T HIT, SITWELL. HE'S NEVER GONNA TOUCH IT.
00:18:40- TIME OUT. - TIME OUT.
00:18:42- GOB, ARE YOU OKAY?
00:18:43- YEAH, I JUST CAN'T HIT TODAY.
00:18:45GUESS YOU'RE REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN ME.
00:18:47- HEY, EVERYBODY HAS DAYS LIKE THIS.
00:18:49IT'S ONLY A GAME.
00:18:50AFTER THAT LIST OF IDEAS YOU GAVE ME,
00:18:52I DON'T CARE IF YOU BLOW THE WHOLE SEASON.
00:18:53COME HERE, YOU.
00:18:57OKAY. WE'RE GOOD. narrator: AND GOB FINALLY FELT THAT SOMEONE BELIEVED IN HIM.
00:19:04EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN'T HIS IDEAS.
00:19:07AND HE DECIDED TO MAKE SITWELL PROUD.
00:19:13- GET ON THAT BALL!
00:19:18- YOU GO!
00:19:20- YOU BETTER PULL AN ANKLE OR SOMETHING.
00:19:22COME ON, GEORGE MICHAEL! GET THAT BALL IN THERE! narrator: THEN HE WENT HEADFIRST INTO THE WALL.
00:19:26- I'M SAFE. - YOU'RE OUT!
00:19:28- OUT? I WAS SAFE! I'M SAFE!
00:19:31- STOP WITH THE TWEETY BIRD DANCE, YOU MORON.
00:19:34- DAD?
00:19:35- HE MADE THE CALL. YOU'RE OUT.
00:19:36- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
00:19:37- SHUSH, SHUSH, SHUSH. - DAD?
00:19:39- HE'S SAFE.
00:19:40- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
00:19:42- I'M TAKING CARE OF WHAT YOU SCREWED UP.
00:19:43YOU BLEW IT AGAIN, MICHAEL.
00:19:45- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
00:19:46I BLEW IT WHEN I LET YOU START CONTROLLING ME AGAIN.
00:19:49I EVEN STOOPED TO CHEAT HERE AT A SOFTBALL GAME.
00:19:52YOU TWO HAVE BEEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER.
00:19:53HOW COME NOBODY CALLED ME?
00:19:54- WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?
00:19:55- I'M JUST FIXING SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN BUGGING ME.
00:19:57HE WAS SAFE.
00:20:00HE WAS. WE LOST. GET OVER IT.
00:20:04YEAH, AND STAN SITWELL LIKED MY IDEAS.
00:20:06HE REALLY BELIEVED IN ME.
00:20:07- MY IDEAS. - WELL.
00:20:09- AND I'M PRESIDENT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, DAD.
00:20:13I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL ANYMORE.
00:20:16- I'M PROUD OF YOU.
00:20:19- REALLY? - YEAH. SEE YA.
00:20:25- MICHAEL, I COULD'VE SWORN I JUST SAW DAD.
00:20:27OR NOT.
00:20:28I THINK HALLUCINATION IS ONE OF THE SIDE-EFFECTS OF TEAMOCIL. narrator: IT ISN'T.
00:20:33- THANKS FOR MAKING THE RIGHT CALL THERE, MIKE.
00:20:35- YEAH.
00:20:36- SORRY I DIDN'T BLOW THE GAME.
00:20:37- NO, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING,
00:20:39AND YOU FINALLY GOT DAD TO ONE OF YOUR BALL GAMES.
00:20:42- SCREW HIM. - YEAH.
00:20:45- I MISS HIM SO MUCH. narrator: ON THE NEXT "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."
00:20:51- MAEBY GETS HER FATHER A JOB.
00:20:52- I GOT TO FIRE ONE OF YA.
00:20:54- ANDY RICHTER!
00:20:55HERE ARE THOSE HEAD SHOTS I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.
00:20:57- YEAH. I GOTTA GO.
00:20:58- IT'S TOBIAS FUNKE.
00:20:59I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE HEAD SHOTS? narrator: AND BUSTER VISITS THE GENERAL.
00:21:02- I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR MY NEW JOB.
00:21:04[laughs]
00:21:05WHAT'S WRONG? - I'M SHIPPING OUT TOMORROW.
00:21:08- OH, I'VE GOT JUST THE THING.
00:21:11- OH, I HAVEN'T FELT HANDS LIKE THAT IN YEARS.
00:21:15YOU ARE COMING TO THE FRONT.