Home > Arrested Development

Fakin' It

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narrator: NOW THE STORY OF A WEALTHY FAMILY

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WHO LOST EVERYTHING

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AND THE ONE SON WHO HAD NO CHOICE

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BUT TO KEEP THEM ALL TOGETHER.

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IT'S "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."

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MICHAEL HAD RECEIVED A WITNESS LIST

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FOR HIS FATHER'S UPCOMING TRIAL.

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- WHO'S ON THE LIST? ANY BLABBERS?

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- THEY'VE GOT ONE GUY WHO WON'T BE TALKING.

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THAT IS, UNLESS THERE'S A HAND INSIDE OF HIM.

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- OH, PLEASE, MICHAEL.

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EVEN THEN, I WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

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- THAT'S REASSURING.

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BUT I WAS REFERRING TO GOB'S PUPPET FRANKLIN.

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- YES!

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I GOT HIM IN THE SYSTEM.

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- YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE?

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- OH, YEAH.

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HE IS RE-DYED, RESTED, AND READY TO WORK.

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OUGHTA BE A GOOD WAY TO GET SOME PRESS.

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OH, I GOTTA TELL FRANKLIN.

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- I THINK HE MEANT "GET FRANKLIN."

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- AM I ON THE LIST?

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- WE ALL ARE. - FRANKLIN, GUESS WHAT.

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- BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

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- HE HASN'T HEARD ANYTHING FROM ME.

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I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

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- WELL, YOU BOTH CERTAINLY ACT INNOCENT. narrator: BUSTER KNEW A GREAT DEAL.

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FOR LUCILLE ALMOST NIGHTLY GOT DRUNK AND TOLD HIM.

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- YOUR FATHER SAYS HE WANTS ME TO GO ALL THE WAY TO FALLUJAH.

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I THOUGHT HE MEANT THE SEX ACT

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THAT'S SO POPULAR WITH YOUR GENERATION.

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I KNOW YOU'RE AWAKE. FAKER!

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- MORE SIGNIFICANTLY, THEY'VE PUT AN N. BLUTH

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ON THE WITNESS LIST.

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- [as Franklin] I HOPE THAT DOESN'T STAND FOR

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WHAT I THINK IT STANDS FOR.

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[as Gob] WHOA! I DID NOT SAY THAT.

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- YOU DID, GOB. YOUR MOUTH MOVED.

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YOUR HAND DIDN'T.

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- OH. WELL, I SHOULD WORK ON THAT.

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- IS THERE AN N. BLUTH IN THE FAMILY

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THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT?

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THEY SAY THERE'S BEEN MONEY FOUND

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IN AN ACCOUNT UNDER THAT NAME.

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- OF COURSE NOT.

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THE PROSECUTION IS TRYING TO TEST US,

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SEE IF WE'RE GONNA TURN AGAINST EACH OTHER.

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THEY MAKE STUFF UP. SHE DOESN'T EXIST.

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- YET YOU REFER TO HER AS A "SHE."

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- HE, SHE, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

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- OH, HEAR! HEAR!

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IN THE DARK, IT ALL LOOKS THE SAME.

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THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST TAKING A SHOT IN THE DARKNESS.

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- BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT JAN EAGLEMAN CALLED,

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AND SHE IS WILLING TO CONSIDER OUR CASE.

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- JAN EAGLEMAN? - SHE'S FROM THE JUSTICE TV.

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- NOT ANOTHER MEDIA WHORE.

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YOU KNOW, FRANKLY, I THINK I CAN PUT TOGETHER

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A PRETTY GOOD DEFENSE.

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- OH, NO. HE THINKS HE'S A LAWYER AGAIN. narrator: DEVOTEES WILL REMEMBER THAT MICHAEL

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ONCE PLAYED A LAWYER IN A SCHOOL PLAY.

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- [singing] JUDGE, WON'T YOU THROW THE BOOK

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AT THE PIRATE.

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- YOU KNOW, MICHAEL, JUST BECAUSE YOU PLAYED A ROLE

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DOESN'T MAKE IT REAL.

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- OF COURSE, BUSTER DID GROW UP TO BE CAPTAIN HOOK.

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- NOT COOL, MOM.

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- OH, PLEASE. YOU'D BE A LOUSY ATTORNEY.

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THE FIRST PIECE OF EVIDENCE AGAINST US,

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YOU'D RUN FOR THE HILLS.

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NO, JAN IS INTERESTED. SHE CARRIES A LOT OF WEIGHT,

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AND SHE IS NOT CHARGING US ANYTHING.

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- [as Franklin] LIKE TO SEE A WHORE THAT DOES THAT!

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[as Gob] NOT THE "CARRYING THE WEIGHT" PART.

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BUT, ON THE OTHER HAND, IF IT'S FREE--

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- SHE WANTS US TO DO A MOCK TRIAL,

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SORT OF A DRY RUN JUST TO GET US READY.

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- WELL, I GUESS WE COULD ALL USE

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SOME EXPERIENCE IN THE COURTROOM.

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FINE, I'LL GO CHECK HER OUT.

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BUT I'LL TELL YOU ALL RIGHT NOW,

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NO ONE IS GOING TO LIE ON THAT STAND.

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- AND NO ONE IS GONNA BETRAY THE FAMILY.

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- [humming] announcer: BUSTER WAS NERVOUS.

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THAT'S WHAT ALL THE ROCKING AND HUMMING WAS ABOUT.

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AND MICHAEL MET WITH JUSTICE TV'S JAN EAGLEMAN

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WHO WAS CURRENTLY DOING A TECH REHEARSAL.

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- WE'RE DOING A TECH REHEARSAL FOR MY NEW SHOW:

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JUDGE REINHOLD.

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IT'S A REALITY COURTROOM SHOW.

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- YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S AN ACTOR BY THAT NAME, RIGHT?

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- THIS IS WHAT THEY PUT ME IN.

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WHY DID I LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT

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IF THEY'RE GONNA PUT ME IN A POOL COVER?

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- I'M SORRY. ARE YOU AN ACTUAL JUDGE?

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- NO. THAT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE.

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I READ SOMEWHERE JUDGE JUDY MADE $25 MILLION LAST YEAR.

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I'M, LIKE, HEY, I NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE GUY.

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- SO YOU JUST-- YOU'RE DOIN' THIS

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BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS JUDGE?

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- HONESTLY, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

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I PUT THOSE TWO THINGS TOGETHER.

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- MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE "JUDGE" OUT OF THE TITLE

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AND GO WITH MY ORIGINAL TITLE: MR. REINHOLD'S COURTROOM.

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NO, NO, NO. WE'RE CHANGIN' THE NAME.

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- THANKS, MICHAEL.

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I'VE GOT 250,000 TALKING MAGAZINE ADS,

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AND HE WANTS TO CHANGE THE NAME.

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- [Judge] MY NAME IS JUDGE.

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- HEAR YOU WANNA DO A MOCK TRIAL.

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- MMM. - YEAH?

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- AND WE CAN DO IT HERE ON THE SET.

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'CAUSE I'M LOOKING FOR JUDGE REINHOLD

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TO HAVE A LITTLE PRACTICE TOO.

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- UH-HUH.

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- I'LL BE ACTING AS THE PROSECUTOR.

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THAT WAY, I CAN SEE HOW YOUR FAMILY HOLDS UP.

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FAMILIES THAT DO WELL ARE THE ONES THAT STICK TOGETHER.

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- WELL, THAT'S--THAT'S US.

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UM, WE ARE GOING TO NEED A DEFENSE ATTORNEY, RIGHT,

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FOR THE MOCK TRIAL?

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AND THAT'S NOT GONNA BE CHEAP.

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- YOU KNOW THE CASE. WHY NOT YOU?

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[young Michael singing]

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- YES, YEAH, GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SHOW MY DAD

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WHAT I CAN DO.

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I'LL-I'LL-I'LL SHOW HIM. I'LL MAKE A FOOL OUT OF HIM.

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[cell phone ringing] WHILE STICKING TOGETHER.

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EXCUSE ME ONE MINUTE. narrator: AND THAT'S WHEN MICHAEL FOUND OUT

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HIS BROTHER BUSTER WAS IN A COMA.

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- WHAT HAPPENED? HOW IS HE?

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- WE'RE WAITING FOR THE DOCTOR.

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I JUST PRAY IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE HE'S UNCONSCIOUS

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THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE TRIAL,

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AND WHEN IT'S OVER HE WAKES UP AND GETS A BIG TOY.

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- WAIT A MINUTE.

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ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, MOM?

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DID YOU PUT ONE OF YOUR SONS INTO A COMA

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SO THAT HE CAN'T TESTIFY?

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- MICHAEL, HOW DARE YOU!

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OF COURSE, IT CROSSED MY MIND, BUT THIS WAS ALL BUSTER.

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HE GOT INTO YOUR BROTHER'S PILLS.

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- NOT THE FORGET-ME-NOWS?

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- HE ASKED ME FOR THEM. I DIDN'T KNOW.

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I THOUGHT HE WAS DATING AGAIN.

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- HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING,

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BUT THESE THINGS CAN GO ON INDEFINITELY.

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MY MOTHER'S BEEN IN THAT BED FOR TWO YEARS.

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- OH, HOW AWFUL!

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WE DON'T HAVE A PRIVATE ROOM.

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- THEY WON'T LET ME TAKE OUT HER FEEDING TUBE,

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AND I'M LUCKY.

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I HAVE THE RESOURCES TO PAY FOR THESE MEDICAL BILLS.

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- YOU HAVE RESOURCES?

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- WHAT GOOD IS MY MONEY IF I CAN'T BRING HER BACK?

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- BUT YOU CAN'T.

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MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT ON DATING.

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IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GONNA SAY?

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- LET'S GO AHEAD AND WAIT OUTSIDE.

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- SO, YOU COME HERE OFTEN?

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CUTE BUTTON.

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- HOW IS HE?

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- WE'RE STILL WAITIN' TO FIND OUT.

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- I GOT HERE AS SOON AS I COULD.

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OH, THE RED TAPE.

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- LOOKS A LITTLE BIT MORE LIKE RED PRAWN, DAD.

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- IT'S THE SHRIMP FEST. OH, THE SHRIMP.

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- DO YOU REALIZE BUSTER'S PROBABLY IN THIS STATE

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BECAUSE OF YOU AND MOM?

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HE'S OBVIOUSLY AFRAID OF WHAT HE KNOWS,

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AND HE'S JUST TRYING TO FORGET.

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DOES HE KNOW WHO N. BLUTH IS?

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- RIGHT NOW, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO B. BLUTH IS.

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- I'M GONNA NEED SOME REAL ANSWERS OUTTA YOU PRETTY SOON,

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BECAUSE I'VE JUST DISCUSSED IT WITH JAN.

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I AM GOING TO BE PRETENDING TO BE YOUR ATTORNEY

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AT THE MOCK TRIAL BEFORE JUDGE REINHOLD.

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- YOU'RE THE LAWYER?

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THAT'S THE SAME REPRESENTATION CAPTAIN HOOK HAD.

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[all laughing]

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- IT'S SO GOOD TO LAUGH AGAIN.

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- OH, IT FEELS GOOD. - IT DOES.

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THEY SAY SEVEN MINUTES HEALS ALL WOUNDS.

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- WAIT, NOT "THE JUDGE REINHOLD SHOW"

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FROM ALL THOSE MAGAZINE ADS?

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THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. LOOK AT THIS.

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- MY NAME IS JUDGE.

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- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THIS KIND OF TECHNOLOGY EXISTED.

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I COULD USE THIS IN MY VENTRILOQUISM ACT.

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THERE A BAR HERE?

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- WELL, BUSTER'S IN WHAT WE CALL A LIGHT-TO-NO COMA.

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IN LAYMAN'S TERMS,

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IT MIGHT BE CONSIDERED A VERY HEAVY NAP.

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- COULD THAT MEAN THAT HE'S FAKING IT?

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- OH, HIGHLY LIKELY THIS IS FAKE.

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ALTHOUGH, THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE VERY MUCH BRAIN ACTIVITY.

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-NO. THAT'S HIM.

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-I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT WE REMEMBER

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HE'S FULLY INSURED.

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I SAY WE SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT.

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- ABSOLUTELY.

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WE'RE GONNA BE HERE EVERY DAY.

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I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES FROM NOW

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TILL THE END OF SHRIMP FEST.

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- WELL, IF THIS YOUNG MAN GETS BORED,

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WE NEED A LOT OF VOLUNTEERS HERE AT THE HOSPITAL.

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TURNING OVER THE BEDRIDDEN, CHANGING BEDPANS.

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- OR THERE'S A MALL ACROSS THE STREET.

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- OH, YOU WANT EXCITEMENT?

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WELL, WE HAVE A GROUP OF YOUNG PEOPLE

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WHO PUT ON FAKE WEDDINGS FOR OUR ALZHEIMER'S PATIENTS.

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- IT ACTUALLY WOULD PROBABLY LOOK PRETTY GOOD

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ON SOME COLLEGE APPLICATIONS.

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- WOULD I HAVE TO TOUCH THE OLD PEOPLE?

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- ONLY THEIR HEARTS. YOU COULD BE A GROOM.

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BRING A LITTLE GIRLFRIEND UP THERE WITH YOU.

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- I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. - SISTER THEN, OR A COUSIN.

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OF COURSE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KISS. narrator: GUESS WHO LIKED THAT IDEA?

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- HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO IT.

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I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO RESPECT HIS CHOICES LATELY.

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- GREAT. I WAS JUST-- WELL, DON'T ANSWER FOR--

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I, UM--YEAH, 'CAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY THE COUSIN.

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I MEAN, THE GIRL.

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I WOULD WANT TO GIVE, AND SHE'LL WANNA GIVE TOO.

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AND WE'LL DO THAT TOGETHER FOR THEM, FOR THE SAKE OF--

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IT'S A GREAT DAY...

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FOR BEING SAD. narrator: AND LATER, MICHAEL WAS PREPARING FOR HIS CASE.

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- SO I'VE GOT A DATE WITH THE GUY

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WITH THE BRAIN-DEAD MOM.

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I MEAN, IT'S JUST A PICKET FOR THEM

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TO PULL THE PLUG ON OUR LOVED ONES.

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- GIVEN UP HOPE ON BUSTER PRETTY QUICKLY THERE, LINDSAY.

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- LISTEN, I KNOW BUSTER. I KNOW WHAT HE WANTS.

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- OH, I LOVE SOUP.

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IF THE ONLY THING I COULD DO WAS LAY IN BED ALL DAY

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AND EAT SOUP, I'D BE HAPPY.

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I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TASTE IT.

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I COULD JUST TAKE IT THROUGH A TUBE.

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THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE BETTER,

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'CAUSE I WOULDN'T EVEN BURN MY MOUTH.

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NEVER LET ME DIE.

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- YEAH, HE WANTS OUT.

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ANYWAY, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW HE'S PROBABLY JUST FAKING.

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- BUSY? - ACTUALLY, I'M--

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- CHECK THIS OUT. MY LIPS DON'T MOVE.

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YOU'LL CALL ME UP TO THE STAND, SAY SOMETHING LIKE,

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"WHO IS THIS LITTLE FRIEND?" AND HE'LL SAY:

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- [Judge's voice] MY NAME IS JUDGE.

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- WHOSE NAME IS JUDGE?

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- MY NAME IS-- - OKAY.

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- THAT'S A SILLY NAME.

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- THAT'S ENOUGH. - JUDGE. MY NAME...

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- YES, I AM JUDGING YOUR NAME. IT AM SILLY.

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- IS-- - PLEASE STOP.

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- NOW YOU'RE CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR?

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- GOB, NOT GONNA PUT FRANKLIN ON THE STAND.

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AND YOUR LIPS ARE MOVING JUST A LITTLE BIT.

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- JUDGE.

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- HE'S RIGHT. HIS NAME IS JUDGE NOW.

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- YOU KNOW, I THINK DAD MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A CASE HERE.

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I MEAN, I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THIS N. BLUTH.

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BUT IF IT IS INDEED JUST A PLOY ON THEIR PART,

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THEN THE ONLY BOMBSHELL THAT THEY'VE GOT

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IS A BLUEPRINT OF AN IRAQI MODEL HOME,

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THE SAME BLUEPRINT AS OURS WITH NO RECORD

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THAT WE ACTUALLY GOT PAID FOR IT.

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ALTHOUGH, THIS IS STRANGE.

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LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A SECRET ROOM IN THIS ONE OFF THE HALLWAY.

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I WONDER IF WE'VE GOT THAT.

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I'M GONNA GO CHECK THAT OUT.

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- OKAY, AND WE'RE GONNA GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.

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- YEAH, GOOD. CHECK ON BUSTER.

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WE DO NEED TO STICK TOGETHER AS A FAMILY ON THIS.

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- ACTUALLY, GONNA GO SWIPE SOME MORE TALKING MAGAZINES,

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BUT I'LL MAKE SURE TO POKE THE HEAD IN.

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BYE.

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[knocking] narrator: AND MICHAEL FOUND THAT THERE WAS INDEED

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A SECRET ROOM,

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WHERE HIS FATHER HAD STORED THE FAMILY MEMENTOES,

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INCLUDING HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

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- NICHAEL BLUTH?

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AM I N. BLUTH?

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IS HE TRYING TO SET ME UP?

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IF I'M N. BLUTH, I'M GOING TO PRISON. narrator: NICHAEL WAS WORRIED.

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MICHAEL HAD JUST DISCOVERED A HIDDEN ROOM

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IN THE MODEL HOME WHERE ALL THE FAMILY SECRETS WERE STORED.

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- MY DAD'S TRYING TO PIN ALL OF HIS CRIMES ON N. BLUTH,

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AND I MIGHT BE N. BLUTH.

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- HUH.

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- THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS ACCORDING TO MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

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ALL OF OUR FAMILY RECORDS ARE UP HERE.

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- HMM.

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- AND FOR SOME REASON,

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THIS STACK OF BODYBUILDING MAGAZINES.

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- [chuckles]

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WELL, I GUESS YOUR DAD MUST'VE HAD THESE

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FROM WAY BACK WHEN, HUH?

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- MY NAME IS-- - THAT SEEMS KIND OF CURRENT.

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- OH! WHO AM I TRYING TO KID, MICHAEL?

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I WAS TRYING TO BEEF UP TO IMPRESS THAT WIFE OF MINE.

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BUT NOW SHE'S AFTER SOME RICH GUY

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WHO'S TRYING TO KILL HIS MOM.

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- I GOTTA GO TALK TO MY DAD. YOU COMIN' OUT?

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- NO, NO, I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR MY WIFE.

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I'M GONNA KEEP MY MARRIAGE ALIVE. narrator: ONE ROOM OVER, GEORGE MICHAEL

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WAS ALSO TRYING TO CONVINCE SOMEONE

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TO PURSUE A FAKE MARRIAGE.

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- WE'D HAVE TO KISS.

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WOULDN'T THAT BE KIND OF WEIRD AFTER WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH?

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- WELL, THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. narrator: IT HAD BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE THEY'D KISSED.

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- WELL, IT DOES SOUND LIKE A GOOD TWIST ON A WEDDING FILM.

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- A-A FILM?

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- WITHOUT THE CORNY "RUNAWAY BRIDE" BIT

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IN THE MIDDLE. - OH, YEAH. narrator: AND SO, LIKE MANY PEOPLE

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WHO NO LONGER FELT ANYTHING FOR EACH OTHER,

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THEY DECIDED TO GET MARRIED.

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- I'M N. BLUTH, AREN'T I? LEGALLY, THAT'S MY REAL NAME.

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YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL THE IRAQ BUSINESS UNDER IT

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THINKING THAT IT WOULDN'T BE TRACEABLE.

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BUT IT IS, AND I'M GOING DOWN.

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- FOR GOD'S SAKES, IT'S A TYPO, MICHAEL.

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WHAT KIND OF FATHER DO YOU THINK I AM?

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THEY EVEN GOT YOUR BIRTH DATE WRONG.

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- THAT IS MY BIRTHDAY.

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- IT'S CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS. WAS THAT HARD?

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IT'S A COINCIDENCE, MICHAEL.

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YOU'RE NOT N. BLUTH. THERE IS NO N. BLUTH.

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- I CALLED JAN EAGLEMAN ABOUT THIS,

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AND SHE SAYS IT SOUNDS PRETTY BAD.

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- YOU CALLED HER? SHE'S WITH THE PROSECUTION.

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- JUST FOR THE MOCK TRIAL.

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- YEAH, BUT WHAT IF SHE WASN'T?

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YOU KNOW, I AM GLAD WE'RE HAVING THIS MOCK TRIAL,

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BECAUSE IT HAS SHOWN ME

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THAT YOU CANNOT BE INVOLVED IN THE REAL DEFENSE.

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- OH, COME ON.

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- WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE BUSTER?

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HE PUT HIMSELF IN A COMA TO PROTECT THIS FAMILY,

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POOR KID.

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I GOTTA GET DOWN THERE NOW.

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- SHRIMP FEST IS OVER, POP.

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- REALLY? BETTER GO TO CHILI'S. narrator: BACK AT THE HOSPITAL,

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LINDSAY HAD JOINED BRIAN IN PROTEST.

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- ALL THEY'RE DOING IN THERE IS TRYING TO KEEP PEOPLE ALIVE.

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- IT'S A LIFE MILL. - OH, HELLO, LINDSAY.

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I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A FRIEND OF MINE

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THAT I MET AT THE GYM.

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- HI. I'M FATHER BEN.

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- BEN IS A FRANCISCAN WHO CAN BENCH-PRESS OVER 200 POUNDS.

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AND HE TALKED ME INTO PROTESTING TOO.

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SHOW 'EM YOUR SIGN.

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NO, THE OTHER SIDE, 'CAUSE THAT--

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- TOBIAS, BRIAN AND I BELIEVE IN THE DIGNITY

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OF EVERY HUMAN BEING.

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NOW, WHY DON'T WE LEAVE THE FRUITS WITH THE VEGETABLES

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AND GO GET A COFFEE?

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- DO SOME PUSHUPS. narrator: GEORGE MICHAEL AND MAEBY

00:12:27

WERE ALSO AT THE HOSPITAL,

00:12:29

PUTTING ON A WEDDING FOR THE ALZHEIMER'S PATIENTS.

00:12:33

- AND NOW, THEY ARE TRULY FAMILY.

00:12:34

IT IS PERMANENT, ETERNAL. narrator: AND MAEBY DID THE THING

00:12:39

SHE HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS SO CORNY--

00:12:41

- I CAN'T DO THIS. I CAN'T DO THIS.

00:12:43

- BUT WE'RE NOT-- - WHAT AM I DOING? narrator: AND RAN AWAY.

00:12:48

- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

00:12:50

- JUST GIVE IT A MINUTE.

00:12:55

NOW IT'S A BAR MITZVAH. narrator: AND AS GEORGE MICHAEL ACTED

00:12:59

LIKE A BOY BECOMING A MAN,

00:13:00

MICHAEL RETURNED TO HIS OFFICE TO FIND A MAN ACTING LIKE A BOY.

00:13:05

- WHAT'S THIS?

00:13:06

- JUST PRACTICING MY TESTIMONY. FAKE WITNESS BOX.

00:13:08

- AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST

00:13:09

TAKEN MY STUFF OFF THE DESK FIRST

00:13:11

OR UNPLUGGED MY COMPUTER?

00:13:12

- JUSTICE IS SWIFT, MICHAEL.

00:13:14

PLUS, WE NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR OUR TESTIMONY.

00:13:16

YOU'RE NOT DOING ANY OF THAT "MY NAME IS JUDGE" STUFF

00:13:18

ON THE STAND, OKAY?

00:13:19

- NO. THEY'RE ALL OUT OF MAGAZINES AT THE HOSPITAL.

00:13:21

BESIDES, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA. narrator: WHICH HE GOT AT THE HOSPITAL.

00:13:25

- PATIENT PRESENTED WITH GASTRIC BACTERIAL INFECTION

00:13:27

COUPLED WITH PEPTIC ULCERS.

00:13:30

TETRACYCLINE SHOULD NOT BE ADMINISTERED DUE TO ALLERGIES.

00:13:32

- CHECK THIS OUT.

00:13:34

YOU'LL SAY, "WHO'S THIS LITTLE FRIEND?"

00:13:35

AND I'LL SAY, "WELL, HE'S NOT REALLY

00:13:36

FEELING THAT WELL."

00:13:37

AND YOU'LL SAY,

00:13:38

"OH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE LITTLE GUY?"

00:13:40

AND HE'LL SAY--

00:13:41

- PATIENT PRESENTED WITH GASTRIC BACTERIAL INFECTION.

00:13:44

- WOW. SOUNDS LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME TRY-CYCLING.

00:13:49

- TETRACYCLINE SHOULD NOT BE ADMINISTERED DUE TO ALLERGIES.

00:13:51

- YOUR LIPS ARE STILL MOVING, AND--

00:13:53

YOU STOLE THE DOCTOR'S TAPE RECORDER?

00:13:55

- JUST THE TAPE. - I'M GIVING IT BACK TO HIM.

00:13:57

- COME ON, MICHAEL! I NEED THIS!

00:13:59

- GOB-- - MY CAREER NEEDS THIS.

00:14:01

YOU KNOW WHAT? DAD WAS RIGHT.

00:14:02

IF YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT THIS FAMILY,

00:14:04

YOU'D BE MORE SUPPORTIVE OF ME IN THIS.

00:14:05

- GOB, I'M NOT GONNA TURN THIS MOCK TRIAL

00:14:07

INTO SOME KIND OF--

00:14:09

- YOU WERE GONNA SAY MOCKERY, WEREN'T YOU?

00:14:11

- I WAS IN TROUBLE, LIKE, THREE WORDS INTO THAT. narrator: SO MICHAEL WENT BACK TO THE HOSPITAL

00:14:15

WHEN HE HAD A VISIT FROM THE REAL PROSECUTOR.

00:14:19

- WAYNE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

00:14:20

- WE HEARD ABOUT THE TRIAL. WE WANNA MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU.

00:14:22

- A DEAL? IT'S A MOCK TRIAL.

00:14:25

- READ THE PATRIOT ACT.

00:14:26

ANYTHING SAID IN A MOCK TRIAL OR DAYTIME COURTROOM SHOW

00:14:29

CAN BE USED IN ANY REAL CRIMINAL PROCEEDING

00:14:31

OR PRIME-TIME PROCEDURAL SHOW SUBJECT TO THE INTERPRETATION

00:14:34

OF THE PRESIDING JUDGE OR THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.

00:14:36

- IN OUR CASE, JUDGE REINHOLD IS BOTH.

00:14:38

- DID HE GET E.P.? - SURE DID.

00:14:40

- GOOD FOR HIM. ANYWAY, YOU PUT YOUR DAD ON THE STAND,

00:14:42

GET HIM TALKING, AND YOU GET FULL IMMUNITY.

00:14:44

IF YOU DON'T DO IT, WE'RE GONNA GO AFTER N. BLUTH,

00:14:46

AND WE THINK THAT'S YOU.

00:14:47

- YOU'RE ASKING ME TO CONSPIRE AGAINST MY OWN CLIENT.

00:14:50

COULDN'T YOU GO TO JAIL FOR THAT?

00:14:51

- THINK ABOUT IT, MICHAEL. IT MAY BE TIME TO CUT AND RUN.

00:14:54

- WE DON'T DO THAT IN MY FAMILY. narrator: MAEBY HAD JUST RUN AWAY FROM A FAKE WEDDING

00:15:06

THAT HAD GOTTEN A LITTLE TOO REAL.

00:15:08

[knocking]

00:15:09

- OH, YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS ROOM TOO?

00:15:10

- YEAH, IT'S MY DAD'S EXERCISE ROOM. narrator: ALTHOUGH, FOR ALL HER WORLDLINESS,

00:15:14

MAEBY WAS STILL A CHILD IN MANY WAYS.

00:15:17

- YEAH, I-I COME HERE TO THINK MYSELF SOMETIMES,

00:15:19

BUT I ALWAYS KNOCK FIRST.

00:15:21

I-I ALWAYS DO THAT.

00:15:22

I ALWAYS DO THAT ANYWAY, NO MATTER WHAT ROOM.

00:15:23

- SO WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE? - I DON'T KNOW.

00:15:26

I GUESS I JUST GOT A LITTLE WEIRDED OUT.

00:15:28

I MEAN, WE'RE COUSINS. IT'S WRONG.

00:15:31

- WELL, YOU KNOW, THE TORAH TELLS US

00:15:32

THAT THE LARGER WRONG IS TO PUT OUR OWN FEELINGS

00:15:34

BEFORE THE COMMITMENTS WE'VE MADE,

00:15:36

YOU KNOW, TOWARDS THE SICK, AGED, AND GROSS. narrator: THAT'S NOT IN THE TORAH.

00:15:39

- AND, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

00:15:41

WE WEREN'T THERE FOR OURSELVES TODAY.

00:15:43

WE WERE THERE TO BRING HAPPINESS TO OTHERS.

00:15:44

AND I JUST--I JUST FEEL NOW LIKE WE LEFT

00:15:49

A LOT OF OLD PEOPLE SAD THERE TODAY. narrator: AGAIN, NOT TRUE.

00:15:53

[singing and clapping]

00:15:58

- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING

00:16:00

IT'S NOT WEIRD FOR ME TOO.

00:16:02

I'M JUST SAYING MAYBE WE COULD

00:16:03

TAKE THOSE WEIRD FEELINGS

00:16:04

AND TURN THEM INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE. narrator: HE REALLY WANTED THAT KISS.

00:16:08

- I MEAN, I GUESS IT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY

00:16:10

TO FREAK OUT OUR PARENTS.

00:16:11

- LET'S FREAK THEM OUT.

00:16:14

- HEY, YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THIS ROOM TOO, HUH?

00:16:15

I'M JUST LOOKIN' FOR SOME EVIDENCE

00:16:17

FOR MY TRIAL AGAINST POP-POP-- FOR POP-POP.

00:16:22

- I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, DOCTOR,

00:16:23

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO KNOW SOMETHING?

00:16:25

I'M TRYIN' TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

00:16:27

YEAH, SO IS WHAT REMAINS OF BUSTER.

00:16:28

- DR. FARMER, THERE'S A PROBLEM IN 302.

00:16:30

THE PATIENT'S HAVING A BAD REACTION

00:16:32

TO THE TETRACYCLINE.

00:16:33

- TETRACYCLINE? DIDN'T I SAY NOT TO GIVE HIM THAT?

00:16:36

DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO MY NOTES?

00:16:38

- [Gob singing] IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' WHITE.

00:16:40

IT AIN'T EASY.

00:16:42

- I'M TRYING TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

00:16:45

YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.

00:16:46

- NO, I CAN'T, LINDSAY. - YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN ME.

00:16:48

- AND YOU'RE NOT CAPABLE OF INTIMACY.

00:16:49

- WELL, JUST FAKE IT!

00:16:52

COMA. narrator: AND, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

00:16:56

THAT ACTUALLY GOT THROUGH TO THEM.

00:16:58

- NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE TURN ON THE CARTOON NETWORK

00:17:01

AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE? narrator: AND THE NEXT DAY,

00:17:04

THE MOCK TRIAL BEGAN, AS DID THE MOCK EPISODE

00:17:07

OF WHAT HAD NOW BEEN RENAMED

00:17:09

"MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD."

00:17:12

- TAKE ONE. IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE--

00:17:15

- [singing] MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD

00:17:18

MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD

00:17:21

MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD

00:17:23

MOCK TRIAL!

00:17:26

- ALL RISE FOR ACTING'S HIGHEST HONOR,

00:17:28

JUDGE REINHOLD!

00:17:30

JUDGE REINHOLD IS NEITHER A REAL JUDGE,

00:17:32

NOR HAS HE RECEIVED ACTING'S HIGHEST HONOR.

00:17:35

- WOW. THANK YOU.

00:17:37

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I EVER GOT A STANDING OVATION

00:17:40

BEFORE THE SHOW.

00:17:43

THEY'RE NOT CLAPPING.

00:17:44

- THEY DON'T IN A COURTROOM.

00:17:46

- PLEASE BE SEATED. narrator: THE PROCEEDINGS GOT UNDER WAY,

00:17:50

AND THE BLUTHS SET ABOUT PRETENDING

00:17:52

THEY WERE A FAMILY THAT STAYS TOGETHER.

00:17:54

- YOU NEVER HEARD ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY DISCUSS PLANS

00:17:56

TO EITHER TRAVEL TO IRAQ OR DO BUSINESS THERE?

00:18:00

- WELL, I SPEND SO MUCH TIME MAKING SWEET LOVE ON MY WIFE

00:18:04

THAT IT'S HARD TO HEAR ANYTHING

00:18:06

OVER THE CLATTER OF HER BREASTS AND--

00:18:09

- YOUR WITNESS. - I HAVE NOTHING.

00:18:11

[bass guitar sliding]

00:18:13

- OH, HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHERE THE MONEY COMES FROM?

00:18:15

I JUST KNOW WHERE IT GOES,

00:18:17

TO TAKING CARE OF MY POOR COMATOSE SON.

00:18:21

AND IF THIS WERE THE REAL TRIAL, I'D CRY HERE.

00:18:25

- I'M SAVING MY GOOD STUFF TOO.

00:18:27

- I HAVE NO CROSS AT THIS TIME.

00:18:28

- THIS IS WHY YOU'RE NOT HANDLING MY REAL DEFENSE.

00:18:31

- I HAVE ONE WITNESS, DAD, AND HE'LL CLEAR EVERYTHING UP.

00:18:34

- narrator: GOB HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE.

00:18:35

- STATE YOUR NAME.

00:18:37

- [Judge's voice] MY NAME IS JUDGE.

00:18:39

- WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT, MAGAZINE?

00:18:42

- I'M JUST GONNA GO AHEAD AND JUMP IN RIGHT HERE.

00:18:44

I HAVE NOTHING FOR HIM.

00:18:45

[bass string sliding] narrator: BUT NOW, IT WAS MICHAEL'S TURN.

00:18:48

- WELL, LISTEN, HAVE FUN OUT THERE,

00:18:49

BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST TIME

00:18:51

YOU'RE GONNA SEE THIS SIDE OF A COURTROOM

00:18:52

TILL YOUR SECOND WIFE DIVORCES YOUR FRECKLED ASS.

00:18:55

- LOOK AT THAT.

00:18:56

YOU JUST BLEW YOUR WEDDING SPEECH.

00:18:58

I'D LIKE TO JUMP RIGHT AHEAD TO CALLING A SURPRISE WITNESS.

00:19:00

- ONLY WITNESSES ON THE LIST. - OH, HE'S ON THE LIST.

00:19:03

- I WOULD LIKE TO CALL TO THE STAND

00:19:08

FRANKLIN DELANO BLUTH.

00:19:11

- YOU'RE CALLIN' FRANKLIN, MIKEY?

00:19:12

- I SURE AM, PAL.

00:19:13

I SUPPORT MY BROTHER.

00:19:16

- [singing] IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' WHITE

00:19:18

IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' BROWN.

00:19:21

YOU'RE MY BRO, YOU'RE MY BROTHER

00:19:26

- YOUR HONOR, THIS IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL.

00:19:27

- WELL, I'M VERY CURIOUS TO SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.

00:19:30

I'M GONNA ALLOW IT.

00:19:31

BUT I'M WARNING YOU, MR. BLUTH,

00:19:33

THIS BETTER MAKE FOR A GOOD PROMO.

00:19:35

- I WAS APPROACHED BY THE REAL PROSECUTION RECENTLY

00:19:38

AND WAS ASKED IF I WOULD BE WILLING TO TURN ON MY FAMILY

00:19:40

AND SAVE MYSELF.

00:19:42

WOULD YOU PLEASE PRESS THE PLAY BUTTON

00:19:44

ON THE TAPE RECORDER INSIDE THE PUPPET?

00:19:47

- IF YOU DON'T DO IT, WE'RE GONNA GO AFTER N. BLUTH,

00:19:49

AND WE THINK THAT'S YOU.

00:19:51

- YOU'RE ASKING ME TO CONSPIRE AGAINST MY OWN CLIENT.

00:19:53

- WHY DO THERE HAVE TO BE PUPPETS LIKE FRANK?

00:19:56

- THINK ABOUT IT, MICHAEL.

00:19:57

- WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT A MISTRIAL.

00:19:59

BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE, WE'VE ALSO GOT A HUNG JURY.

00:20:02

HIT IT!

00:20:03

- MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD

00:20:07

MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD

00:20:10

MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD

00:20:12

- YOU DID GOOD OUT THERE, MICHAEL.

00:20:14

BUT IT'S JUST A MOCK TRIAL.

00:20:16

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE IT TO THE GRAND JURY?

00:20:17

- WANTED TO PROVE TO YOU THAT I COULD DO IT.

00:20:19

I'M GOING TO A GRAND JURY WITH THAT NOW. narrator: ACTUALLY, MICHAEL HAD NO IDEA

00:20:24

THAT'S WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.

00:20:26

- NICE JOB. YOU HAVE A REAL SHOT.

00:20:28

YOU ALL STUCK TOGETHER, AND THAT'S WHAT WINS CASES.

00:20:30

- WE DON'T ABANDON EACH OTHER.

00:20:32

- NO ONE'S CLOSER THAN THE BLUTH FAMILY. narrator: THEY WERE.

00:20:35

- I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE. narrator: FOR AS IT TURNS OUT,

00:20:40

THE FAKE PRIEST WAS CALLED TO A PATIENT'S ROOM,

00:20:42

AND FATHER BEN FILLED IN, NOT KNOWING IT WAS FAKE.

00:20:47

AND THAT'S HOW THE KIDS GOT MARRIED.

00:20:49

ON THE NEXT "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."

00:20:52

- "MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD" LEADS TO IMITATORS.

00:20:55

- ALL RISE. BUD CORT IS NOW IN SESSION.

00:20:57

- PLEASE BE SEATED.

00:20:59

- HARD TO SIT WHEN YOU GOT SOMEONE'S HAND UP YOUR ASS.

00:21:03

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S LOSE THE PUPPET. narrator: AND MICHAEL DISCOVERS THAT HE WASN'T N. BLUTH

00:21:08

AFTER ALL.

00:21:11

- I HAVE AN OLDER SISTER? narrator: SO MUCH FOR NOT ABANDONING FAMILY.