Home > Arrested Development
Fakin' It
00:00:01narrator: NOW THE STORY OF A WEALTHY FAMILY
00:00:02WHO LOST EVERYTHING
00:00:04AND THE ONE SON WHO HAD NO CHOICE
00:00:06BUT TO KEEP THEM ALL TOGETHER.
00:00:13IT'S "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."
00:00:18MICHAEL HAD RECEIVED A WITNESS LIST
00:00:21FOR HIS FATHER'S UPCOMING TRIAL.
00:00:22- WHO'S ON THE LIST? ANY BLABBERS?
00:00:23- THEY'VE GOT ONE GUY WHO WON'T BE TALKING.
00:00:25THAT IS, UNLESS THERE'S A HAND INSIDE OF HIM.
00:00:28- OH, PLEASE, MICHAEL.
00:00:29EVEN THEN, I WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
00:00:31- THAT'S REASSURING.
00:00:32BUT I WAS REFERRING TO GOB'S PUPPET FRANKLIN.
00:00:34- YES!
00:00:35I GOT HIM IN THE SYSTEM.
00:00:36- YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE?
00:00:37- OH, YEAH.
00:00:38HE IS RE-DYED, RESTED, AND READY TO WORK.
00:00:41OUGHTA BE A GOOD WAY TO GET SOME PRESS.
00:00:42OH, I GOTTA TELL FRANKLIN.
00:00:44- I THINK HE MEANT "GET FRANKLIN."
00:00:45- AM I ON THE LIST?
00:00:47- WE ALL ARE. - FRANKLIN, GUESS WHAT.
00:00:48- BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
00:00:49- HE HASN'T HEARD ANYTHING FROM ME.
00:00:51I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
00:00:52- WELL, YOU BOTH CERTAINLY ACT INNOCENT. narrator: BUSTER KNEW A GREAT DEAL.
00:00:57FOR LUCILLE ALMOST NIGHTLY GOT DRUNK AND TOLD HIM.
00:00:59- YOUR FATHER SAYS HE WANTS ME TO GO ALL THE WAY TO FALLUJAH.
00:01:03I THOUGHT HE MEANT THE SEX ACT
00:01:05THAT'S SO POPULAR WITH YOUR GENERATION.
00:01:07I KNOW YOU'RE AWAKE. FAKER!
00:01:10- MORE SIGNIFICANTLY, THEY'VE PUT AN N. BLUTH
00:01:12ON THE WITNESS LIST.
00:01:14- [as Franklin] I HOPE THAT DOESN'T STAND FOR
00:01:15WHAT I THINK IT STANDS FOR.
00:01:16[as Gob] WHOA! I DID NOT SAY THAT.
00:01:18- YOU DID, GOB. YOUR MOUTH MOVED.
00:01:19YOUR HAND DIDN'T.
00:01:20- OH. WELL, I SHOULD WORK ON THAT.
00:01:23- IS THERE AN N. BLUTH IN THE FAMILY
00:01:24THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
00:01:26THEY SAY THERE'S BEEN MONEY FOUND
00:01:27IN AN ACCOUNT UNDER THAT NAME.
00:01:28- OF COURSE NOT.
00:01:30THE PROSECUTION IS TRYING TO TEST US,
00:01:31SEE IF WE'RE GONNA TURN AGAINST EACH OTHER.
00:01:34THEY MAKE STUFF UP. SHE DOESN'T EXIST.
00:01:37- YET YOU REFER TO HER AS A "SHE."
00:01:40- HE, SHE, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
00:01:41- OH, HEAR! HEAR!
00:01:43IN THE DARK, IT ALL LOOKS THE SAME.
00:01:47THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST TAKING A SHOT IN THE DARKNESS.
00:01:49- BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT JAN EAGLEMAN CALLED,
00:01:52AND SHE IS WILLING TO CONSIDER OUR CASE.
00:01:55- JAN EAGLEMAN? - SHE'S FROM THE JUSTICE TV.
00:01:58- NOT ANOTHER MEDIA WHORE.
00:02:00YOU KNOW, FRANKLY, I THINK I CAN PUT TOGETHER
00:02:02A PRETTY GOOD DEFENSE.
00:02:03- OH, NO. HE THINKS HE'S A LAWYER AGAIN. narrator: DEVOTEES WILL REMEMBER THAT MICHAEL
00:02:07ONCE PLAYED A LAWYER IN A SCHOOL PLAY.
00:02:10- [singing] JUDGE, WON'T YOU THROW THE BOOK
00:02:12AT THE PIRATE.
00:02:14- YOU KNOW, MICHAEL, JUST BECAUSE YOU PLAYED A ROLE
00:02:16DOESN'T MAKE IT REAL.
00:02:17- OF COURSE, BUSTER DID GROW UP TO BE CAPTAIN HOOK.
00:02:20- NOT COOL, MOM.
00:02:21- OH, PLEASE. YOU'D BE A LOUSY ATTORNEY.
00:02:23THE FIRST PIECE OF EVIDENCE AGAINST US,
00:02:25YOU'D RUN FOR THE HILLS.
00:02:27NO, JAN IS INTERESTED. SHE CARRIES A LOT OF WEIGHT,
00:02:29AND SHE IS NOT CHARGING US ANYTHING.
00:02:32- [as Franklin] LIKE TO SEE A WHORE THAT DOES THAT!
00:02:34[as Gob] NOT THE "CARRYING THE WEIGHT" PART.
00:02:35BUT, ON THE OTHER HAND, IF IT'S FREE--
00:02:38- SHE WANTS US TO DO A MOCK TRIAL,
00:02:40SORT OF A DRY RUN JUST TO GET US READY.
00:02:42- WELL, I GUESS WE COULD ALL USE
00:02:43SOME EXPERIENCE IN THE COURTROOM.
00:02:44FINE, I'LL GO CHECK HER OUT.
00:02:45BUT I'LL TELL YOU ALL RIGHT NOW,
00:02:46NO ONE IS GOING TO LIE ON THAT STAND.
00:02:49- AND NO ONE IS GONNA BETRAY THE FAMILY.
00:02:52- [humming] announcer: BUSTER WAS NERVOUS.
00:02:55THAT'S WHAT ALL THE ROCKING AND HUMMING WAS ABOUT.
00:02:57AND MICHAEL MET WITH JUSTICE TV'S JAN EAGLEMAN
00:03:02WHO WAS CURRENTLY DOING A TECH REHEARSAL.
00:03:04- WE'RE DOING A TECH REHEARSAL FOR MY NEW SHOW:
00:03:05JUDGE REINHOLD.
00:03:06IT'S A REALITY COURTROOM SHOW.
00:03:08- YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S AN ACTOR BY THAT NAME, RIGHT?
00:03:10- THIS IS WHAT THEY PUT ME IN.
00:03:11WHY DID I LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT
00:03:12IF THEY'RE GONNA PUT ME IN A POOL COVER?
00:03:14- I'M SORRY. ARE YOU AN ACTUAL JUDGE?
00:03:16- NO. THAT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE.
00:03:18I READ SOMEWHERE JUDGE JUDY MADE $25 MILLION LAST YEAR.
00:03:23I'M, LIKE, HEY, I NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE GUY.
00:03:25- SO YOU JUST-- YOU'RE DOIN' THIS
00:03:27BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS JUDGE?
00:03:29- HONESTLY, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
00:03:30I PUT THOSE TWO THINGS TOGETHER.
00:03:31- MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE "JUDGE" OUT OF THE TITLE
00:03:33AND GO WITH MY ORIGINAL TITLE: MR. REINHOLD'S COURTROOM.
00:03:36NO, NO, NO. WE'RE CHANGIN' THE NAME.
00:03:39- THANKS, MICHAEL.
00:03:41I'VE GOT 250,000 TALKING MAGAZINE ADS,
00:03:44AND HE WANTS TO CHANGE THE NAME.
00:03:45- [Judge] MY NAME IS JUDGE.
00:03:47- HEAR YOU WANNA DO A MOCK TRIAL.
00:03:48- MMM. - YEAH?
00:03:49- AND WE CAN DO IT HERE ON THE SET.
00:03:51'CAUSE I'M LOOKING FOR JUDGE REINHOLD
00:03:52TO HAVE A LITTLE PRACTICE TOO.
00:03:54- UH-HUH.
00:03:55- I'LL BE ACTING AS THE PROSECUTOR.
00:03:56THAT WAY, I CAN SEE HOW YOUR FAMILY HOLDS UP.
00:03:58FAMILIES THAT DO WELL ARE THE ONES THAT STICK TOGETHER.
00:04:01- WELL, THAT'S--THAT'S US.
00:04:04UM, WE ARE GOING TO NEED A DEFENSE ATTORNEY, RIGHT,
00:04:07FOR THE MOCK TRIAL?
00:04:08AND THAT'S NOT GONNA BE CHEAP.
00:04:09- YOU KNOW THE CASE. WHY NOT YOU?
00:04:11[young Michael singing]
00:04:14- YES, YEAH, GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SHOW MY DAD
00:04:16WHAT I CAN DO.
00:04:17I'LL-I'LL-I'LL SHOW HIM. I'LL MAKE A FOOL OUT OF HIM.
00:04:20[cell phone ringing] WHILE STICKING TOGETHER.
00:04:23EXCUSE ME ONE MINUTE. narrator: AND THAT'S WHEN MICHAEL FOUND OUT
00:04:25HIS BROTHER BUSTER WAS IN A COMA.
00:04:28- WHAT HAPPENED? HOW IS HE?
00:04:29- WE'RE WAITING FOR THE DOCTOR.
00:04:30I JUST PRAY IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE HE'S UNCONSCIOUS
00:04:33THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE TRIAL,
00:04:35AND WHEN IT'S OVER HE WAKES UP AND GETS A BIG TOY.
00:04:39- WAIT A MINUTE.
00:04:40ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, MOM?
00:04:42DID YOU PUT ONE OF YOUR SONS INTO A COMA
00:04:43SO THAT HE CAN'T TESTIFY?
00:04:45- MICHAEL, HOW DARE YOU!
00:04:47OF COURSE, IT CROSSED MY MIND, BUT THIS WAS ALL BUSTER.
00:04:50HE GOT INTO YOUR BROTHER'S PILLS.
00:04:52- NOT THE FORGET-ME-NOWS?
00:04:54- HE ASKED ME FOR THEM. I DIDN'T KNOW.
00:04:55I THOUGHT HE WAS DATING AGAIN.
00:04:57- HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING,
00:04:58BUT THESE THINGS CAN GO ON INDEFINITELY.
00:05:00MY MOTHER'S BEEN IN THAT BED FOR TWO YEARS.
00:05:02- OH, HOW AWFUL!
00:05:04WE DON'T HAVE A PRIVATE ROOM.
00:05:06- THEY WON'T LET ME TAKE OUT HER FEEDING TUBE,
00:05:08AND I'M LUCKY.
00:05:09I HAVE THE RESOURCES TO PAY FOR THESE MEDICAL BILLS.
00:05:11- YOU HAVE RESOURCES?
00:05:13- WHAT GOOD IS MY MONEY IF I CAN'T BRING HER BACK?
00:05:15- BUT YOU CAN'T.
00:05:16MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT ON DATING.
00:05:18IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GONNA SAY?
00:05:19- LET'S GO AHEAD AND WAIT OUTSIDE.
00:05:21- SO, YOU COME HERE OFTEN?
00:05:24CUTE BUTTON.
00:05:25- HOW IS HE?
00:05:26- WE'RE STILL WAITIN' TO FIND OUT.
00:05:27- I GOT HERE AS SOON AS I COULD.
00:05:29OH, THE RED TAPE.
00:05:31- LOOKS A LITTLE BIT MORE LIKE RED PRAWN, DAD.
00:05:34- IT'S THE SHRIMP FEST. OH, THE SHRIMP.
00:05:36- DO YOU REALIZE BUSTER'S PROBABLY IN THIS STATE
00:05:38BECAUSE OF YOU AND MOM?
00:05:40HE'S OBVIOUSLY AFRAID OF WHAT HE KNOWS,
00:05:41AND HE'S JUST TRYING TO FORGET.
00:05:43DOES HE KNOW WHO N. BLUTH IS?
00:05:44- RIGHT NOW, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO B. BLUTH IS.
00:05:47- I'M GONNA NEED SOME REAL ANSWERS OUTTA YOU PRETTY SOON,
00:05:48BECAUSE I'VE JUST DISCUSSED IT WITH JAN.
00:05:50I AM GOING TO BE PRETENDING TO BE YOUR ATTORNEY
00:05:53AT THE MOCK TRIAL BEFORE JUDGE REINHOLD.
00:05:55- YOU'RE THE LAWYER?
00:05:56THAT'S THE SAME REPRESENTATION CAPTAIN HOOK HAD.
00:05:59[all laughing]
00:06:00- IT'S SO GOOD TO LAUGH AGAIN.
00:06:03- OH, IT FEELS GOOD. - IT DOES.
00:06:04THEY SAY SEVEN MINUTES HEALS ALL WOUNDS.
00:06:05- WAIT, NOT "THE JUDGE REINHOLD SHOW"
00:06:08FROM ALL THOSE MAGAZINE ADS?
00:06:09THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. LOOK AT THIS.
00:06:13- MY NAME IS JUDGE.
00:06:15- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THIS KIND OF TECHNOLOGY EXISTED.
00:06:17I COULD USE THIS IN MY VENTRILOQUISM ACT.
00:06:19THERE A BAR HERE?
00:06:22- WELL, BUSTER'S IN WHAT WE CALL A LIGHT-TO-NO COMA.
00:06:26IN LAYMAN'S TERMS,
00:06:27IT MIGHT BE CONSIDERED A VERY HEAVY NAP.
00:06:29- COULD THAT MEAN THAT HE'S FAKING IT?
00:06:31- OH, HIGHLY LIKELY THIS IS FAKE.
00:06:33ALTHOUGH, THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE VERY MUCH BRAIN ACTIVITY.
00:06:35-NO. THAT'S HIM.
00:06:36-I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT WE REMEMBER
00:06:38HE'S FULLY INSURED.
00:06:39I SAY WE SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT.
00:06:41- ABSOLUTELY.
00:06:42WE'RE GONNA BE HERE EVERY DAY.
00:06:43I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES FROM NOW
00:06:44TILL THE END OF SHRIMP FEST.
00:06:47- WELL, IF THIS YOUNG MAN GETS BORED,
00:06:50WE NEED A LOT OF VOLUNTEERS HERE AT THE HOSPITAL.
00:06:52TURNING OVER THE BEDRIDDEN, CHANGING BEDPANS.
00:06:54- OR THERE'S A MALL ACROSS THE STREET.
00:06:56- OH, YOU WANT EXCITEMENT?
00:06:57WELL, WE HAVE A GROUP OF YOUNG PEOPLE
00:06:59WHO PUT ON FAKE WEDDINGS FOR OUR ALZHEIMER'S PATIENTS.
00:07:02- IT ACTUALLY WOULD PROBABLY LOOK PRETTY GOOD
00:07:03ON SOME COLLEGE APPLICATIONS.
00:07:05- WOULD I HAVE TO TOUCH THE OLD PEOPLE?
00:07:07- ONLY THEIR HEARTS. YOU COULD BE A GROOM.
00:07:09BRING A LITTLE GIRLFRIEND UP THERE WITH YOU.
00:07:10- I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. - SISTER THEN, OR A COUSIN.
00:07:13OF COURSE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KISS. narrator: GUESS WHO LIKED THAT IDEA?
00:07:17- HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO IT.
00:07:19I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO RESPECT HIS CHOICES LATELY.
00:07:21- GREAT. I WAS JUST-- WELL, DON'T ANSWER FOR--
00:07:24I, UM--YEAH, 'CAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY THE COUSIN.
00:07:27I MEAN, THE GIRL.
00:07:29I WOULD WANT TO GIVE, AND SHE'LL WANNA GIVE TOO.
00:07:31AND WE'LL DO THAT TOGETHER FOR THEM, FOR THE SAKE OF--
00:07:35IT'S A GREAT DAY...
00:07:39FOR BEING SAD. narrator: AND LATER, MICHAEL WAS PREPARING FOR HIS CASE.
00:07:45- SO I'VE GOT A DATE WITH THE GUY
00:07:46WITH THE BRAIN-DEAD MOM.
00:07:48I MEAN, IT'S JUST A PICKET FOR THEM
00:07:50TO PULL THE PLUG ON OUR LOVED ONES.
00:07:51- GIVEN UP HOPE ON BUSTER PRETTY QUICKLY THERE, LINDSAY.
00:07:54- LISTEN, I KNOW BUSTER. I KNOW WHAT HE WANTS.
00:07:57- OH, I LOVE SOUP.
00:07:59IF THE ONLY THING I COULD DO WAS LAY IN BED ALL DAY
00:08:00AND EAT SOUP, I'D BE HAPPY.
00:08:02I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TASTE IT.
00:08:03I COULD JUST TAKE IT THROUGH A TUBE.
00:08:05THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE BETTER,
00:08:06'CAUSE I WOULDN'T EVEN BURN MY MOUTH.
00:08:09NEVER LET ME DIE.
00:08:11- YEAH, HE WANTS OUT.
00:08:13ANYWAY, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW HE'S PROBABLY JUST FAKING.
00:08:16- BUSY? - ACTUALLY, I'M--
00:08:18- CHECK THIS OUT. MY LIPS DON'T MOVE.
00:08:20YOU'LL CALL ME UP TO THE STAND, SAY SOMETHING LIKE,
00:08:21"WHO IS THIS LITTLE FRIEND?" AND HE'LL SAY:
00:08:23- [Judge's voice] MY NAME IS JUDGE.
00:08:25- WHOSE NAME IS JUDGE?
00:08:26- MY NAME IS-- - OKAY.
00:08:27- THAT'S A SILLY NAME.
00:08:29- THAT'S ENOUGH. - JUDGE. MY NAME...
00:08:31- YES, I AM JUDGING YOUR NAME. IT AM SILLY.
00:08:33- IS-- - PLEASE STOP.
00:08:34- NOW YOU'RE CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR?
00:08:36- GOB, NOT GONNA PUT FRANKLIN ON THE STAND.
00:08:38AND YOUR LIPS ARE MOVING JUST A LITTLE BIT.
00:08:39- JUDGE.
00:08:40- HE'S RIGHT. HIS NAME IS JUDGE NOW.
00:08:42- YOU KNOW, I THINK DAD MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A CASE HERE.
00:08:44I MEAN, I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THIS N. BLUTH.
00:08:46BUT IF IT IS INDEED JUST A PLOY ON THEIR PART,
00:08:49THEN THE ONLY BOMBSHELL THAT THEY'VE GOT
00:08:51IS A BLUEPRINT OF AN IRAQI MODEL HOME,
00:08:54THE SAME BLUEPRINT AS OURS WITH NO RECORD
00:08:57THAT WE ACTUALLY GOT PAID FOR IT.
00:08:58ALTHOUGH, THIS IS STRANGE.
00:09:01LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A SECRET ROOM IN THIS ONE OFF THE HALLWAY.
00:09:03I WONDER IF WE'VE GOT THAT.
00:09:05I'M GONNA GO CHECK THAT OUT.
00:09:06- OKAY, AND WE'RE GONNA GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.
00:09:08- YEAH, GOOD. CHECK ON BUSTER.
00:09:10WE DO NEED TO STICK TOGETHER AS A FAMILY ON THIS.
00:09:12- ACTUALLY, GONNA GO SWIPE SOME MORE TALKING MAGAZINES,
00:09:15BUT I'LL MAKE SURE TO POKE THE HEAD IN.
00:09:16BYE.
00:09:19[knocking] narrator: AND MICHAEL FOUND THAT THERE WAS INDEED
00:09:24A SECRET ROOM,
00:09:25WHERE HIS FATHER HAD STORED THE FAMILY MEMENTOES,
00:09:28INCLUDING HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
00:09:31- NICHAEL BLUTH?
00:09:34AM I N. BLUTH?
00:09:37IS HE TRYING TO SET ME UP?
00:09:38IF I'M N. BLUTH, I'M GOING TO PRISON. narrator: NICHAEL WAS WORRIED.
00:09:49MICHAEL HAD JUST DISCOVERED A HIDDEN ROOM
00:09:51IN THE MODEL HOME WHERE ALL THE FAMILY SECRETS WERE STORED.
00:09:55- MY DAD'S TRYING TO PIN ALL OF HIS CRIMES ON N. BLUTH,
00:09:58AND I MIGHT BE N. BLUTH.
00:10:00- HUH.
00:10:01- THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS ACCORDING TO MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
00:10:03ALL OF OUR FAMILY RECORDS ARE UP HERE.
00:10:04- HMM.
00:10:05- AND FOR SOME REASON,
00:10:07THIS STACK OF BODYBUILDING MAGAZINES.
00:10:08- [chuckles]
00:10:09WELL, I GUESS YOUR DAD MUST'VE HAD THESE
00:10:11FROM WAY BACK WHEN, HUH?
00:10:13- MY NAME IS-- - THAT SEEMS KIND OF CURRENT.
00:10:15- OH! WHO AM I TRYING TO KID, MICHAEL?
00:10:17I WAS TRYING TO BEEF UP TO IMPRESS THAT WIFE OF MINE.
00:10:19BUT NOW SHE'S AFTER SOME RICH GUY
00:10:21WHO'S TRYING TO KILL HIS MOM.
00:10:22- I GOTTA GO TALK TO MY DAD. YOU COMIN' OUT?
00:10:25- NO, NO, I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR MY WIFE.
00:10:28I'M GONNA KEEP MY MARRIAGE ALIVE. narrator: ONE ROOM OVER, GEORGE MICHAEL
00:10:34WAS ALSO TRYING TO CONVINCE SOMEONE
00:10:36TO PURSUE A FAKE MARRIAGE.
00:10:37- WE'D HAVE TO KISS.
00:10:39WOULDN'T THAT BE KIND OF WEIRD AFTER WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH?
00:10:41- WELL, THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. narrator: IT HAD BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE THEY'D KISSED.
00:10:46- WELL, IT DOES SOUND LIKE A GOOD TWIST ON A WEDDING FILM.
00:10:48- A-A FILM?
00:10:49- WITHOUT THE CORNY "RUNAWAY BRIDE" BIT
00:10:51IN THE MIDDLE. - OH, YEAH. narrator: AND SO, LIKE MANY PEOPLE
00:10:54WHO NO LONGER FELT ANYTHING FOR EACH OTHER,
00:10:56THEY DECIDED TO GET MARRIED.
00:10:59- I'M N. BLUTH, AREN'T I? LEGALLY, THAT'S MY REAL NAME.
00:11:02YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL THE IRAQ BUSINESS UNDER IT
00:11:04THINKING THAT IT WOULDN'T BE TRACEABLE.
00:11:05BUT IT IS, AND I'M GOING DOWN.
00:11:07- FOR GOD'S SAKES, IT'S A TYPO, MICHAEL.
00:11:10WHAT KIND OF FATHER DO YOU THINK I AM?
00:11:11THEY EVEN GOT YOUR BIRTH DATE WRONG.
00:11:13- THAT IS MY BIRTHDAY.
00:11:15- IT'S CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS. WAS THAT HARD?
00:11:17IT'S A COINCIDENCE, MICHAEL.
00:11:19YOU'RE NOT N. BLUTH. THERE IS NO N. BLUTH.
00:11:21- I CALLED JAN EAGLEMAN ABOUT THIS,
00:11:23AND SHE SAYS IT SOUNDS PRETTY BAD.
00:11:26- YOU CALLED HER? SHE'S WITH THE PROSECUTION.
00:11:27- JUST FOR THE MOCK TRIAL.
00:11:29- YEAH, BUT WHAT IF SHE WASN'T?
00:11:30YOU KNOW, I AM GLAD WE'RE HAVING THIS MOCK TRIAL,
00:11:33BECAUSE IT HAS SHOWN ME
00:11:35THAT YOU CANNOT BE INVOLVED IN THE REAL DEFENSE.
00:11:37- OH, COME ON.
00:11:39- WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE BUSTER?
00:11:40HE PUT HIMSELF IN A COMA TO PROTECT THIS FAMILY,
00:11:42POOR KID.
00:11:44I GOTTA GET DOWN THERE NOW.
00:11:46- SHRIMP FEST IS OVER, POP.
00:11:48- REALLY? BETTER GO TO CHILI'S. narrator: BACK AT THE HOSPITAL,
00:11:53LINDSAY HAD JOINED BRIAN IN PROTEST.
00:11:56- ALL THEY'RE DOING IN THERE IS TRYING TO KEEP PEOPLE ALIVE.
00:11:58- IT'S A LIFE MILL. - OH, HELLO, LINDSAY.
00:12:01I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A FRIEND OF MINE
00:12:02THAT I MET AT THE GYM.
00:12:04- HI. I'M FATHER BEN.
00:12:05- BEN IS A FRANCISCAN WHO CAN BENCH-PRESS OVER 200 POUNDS.
00:12:09AND HE TALKED ME INTO PROTESTING TOO.
00:12:12SHOW 'EM YOUR SIGN.
00:12:15NO, THE OTHER SIDE, 'CAUSE THAT--
00:12:17- TOBIAS, BRIAN AND I BELIEVE IN THE DIGNITY
00:12:19OF EVERY HUMAN BEING.
00:12:21NOW, WHY DON'T WE LEAVE THE FRUITS WITH THE VEGETABLES
00:12:23AND GO GET A COFFEE?
00:12:25- DO SOME PUSHUPS. narrator: GEORGE MICHAEL AND MAEBY
00:12:27WERE ALSO AT THE HOSPITAL,
00:12:29PUTTING ON A WEDDING FOR THE ALZHEIMER'S PATIENTS.
00:12:33- AND NOW, THEY ARE TRULY FAMILY.
00:12:34IT IS PERMANENT, ETERNAL. narrator: AND MAEBY DID THE THING
00:12:39SHE HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS SO CORNY--
00:12:41- I CAN'T DO THIS. I CAN'T DO THIS.
00:12:43- BUT WE'RE NOT-- - WHAT AM I DOING? narrator: AND RAN AWAY.
00:12:48- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
00:12:50- JUST GIVE IT A MINUTE.
00:12:55NOW IT'S A BAR MITZVAH. narrator: AND AS GEORGE MICHAEL ACTED
00:12:59LIKE A BOY BECOMING A MAN,
00:13:00MICHAEL RETURNED TO HIS OFFICE TO FIND A MAN ACTING LIKE A BOY.
00:13:05- WHAT'S THIS?
00:13:06- JUST PRACTICING MY TESTIMONY. FAKE WITNESS BOX.
00:13:08- AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST
00:13:09TAKEN MY STUFF OFF THE DESK FIRST
00:13:11OR UNPLUGGED MY COMPUTER?
00:13:12- JUSTICE IS SWIFT, MICHAEL.
00:13:14PLUS, WE NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR OUR TESTIMONY.
00:13:16YOU'RE NOT DOING ANY OF THAT "MY NAME IS JUDGE" STUFF
00:13:18ON THE STAND, OKAY?
00:13:19- NO. THEY'RE ALL OUT OF MAGAZINES AT THE HOSPITAL.
00:13:21BESIDES, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA. narrator: WHICH HE GOT AT THE HOSPITAL.
00:13:25- PATIENT PRESENTED WITH GASTRIC BACTERIAL INFECTION
00:13:27COUPLED WITH PEPTIC ULCERS.
00:13:30TETRACYCLINE SHOULD NOT BE ADMINISTERED DUE TO ALLERGIES.
00:13:32- CHECK THIS OUT.
00:13:34YOU'LL SAY, "WHO'S THIS LITTLE FRIEND?"
00:13:35AND I'LL SAY, "WELL, HE'S NOT REALLY
00:13:36FEELING THAT WELL."
00:13:37AND YOU'LL SAY,
00:13:38"OH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE LITTLE GUY?"
00:13:40AND HE'LL SAY--
00:13:41- PATIENT PRESENTED WITH GASTRIC BACTERIAL INFECTION.
00:13:44- WOW. SOUNDS LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME TRY-CYCLING.
00:13:49- TETRACYCLINE SHOULD NOT BE ADMINISTERED DUE TO ALLERGIES.
00:13:51- YOUR LIPS ARE STILL MOVING, AND--
00:13:53YOU STOLE THE DOCTOR'S TAPE RECORDER?
00:13:55- JUST THE TAPE. - I'M GIVING IT BACK TO HIM.
00:13:57- COME ON, MICHAEL! I NEED THIS!
00:13:59- GOB-- - MY CAREER NEEDS THIS.
00:14:01YOU KNOW WHAT? DAD WAS RIGHT.
00:14:02IF YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT THIS FAMILY,
00:14:04YOU'D BE MORE SUPPORTIVE OF ME IN THIS.
00:14:05- GOB, I'M NOT GONNA TURN THIS MOCK TRIAL
00:14:07INTO SOME KIND OF--
00:14:09- YOU WERE GONNA SAY MOCKERY, WEREN'T YOU?
00:14:11- I WAS IN TROUBLE, LIKE, THREE WORDS INTO THAT. narrator: SO MICHAEL WENT BACK TO THE HOSPITAL
00:14:15WHEN HE HAD A VISIT FROM THE REAL PROSECUTOR.
00:14:19- WAYNE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
00:14:20- WE HEARD ABOUT THE TRIAL. WE WANNA MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU.
00:14:22- A DEAL? IT'S A MOCK TRIAL.
00:14:25- READ THE PATRIOT ACT.
00:14:26ANYTHING SAID IN A MOCK TRIAL OR DAYTIME COURTROOM SHOW
00:14:29CAN BE USED IN ANY REAL CRIMINAL PROCEEDING
00:14:31OR PRIME-TIME PROCEDURAL SHOW SUBJECT TO THE INTERPRETATION
00:14:34OF THE PRESIDING JUDGE OR THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.
00:14:36- IN OUR CASE, JUDGE REINHOLD IS BOTH.
00:14:38- DID HE GET E.P.? - SURE DID.
00:14:40- GOOD FOR HIM. ANYWAY, YOU PUT YOUR DAD ON THE STAND,
00:14:42GET HIM TALKING, AND YOU GET FULL IMMUNITY.
00:14:44IF YOU DON'T DO IT, WE'RE GONNA GO AFTER N. BLUTH,
00:14:46AND WE THINK THAT'S YOU.
00:14:47- YOU'RE ASKING ME TO CONSPIRE AGAINST MY OWN CLIENT.
00:14:50COULDN'T YOU GO TO JAIL FOR THAT?
00:14:51- THINK ABOUT IT, MICHAEL. IT MAY BE TIME TO CUT AND RUN.
00:14:54- WE DON'T DO THAT IN MY FAMILY. narrator: MAEBY HAD JUST RUN AWAY FROM A FAKE WEDDING
00:15:06THAT HAD GOTTEN A LITTLE TOO REAL.
00:15:08[knocking]
00:15:09- OH, YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS ROOM TOO?
00:15:10- YEAH, IT'S MY DAD'S EXERCISE ROOM. narrator: ALTHOUGH, FOR ALL HER WORLDLINESS,
00:15:14MAEBY WAS STILL A CHILD IN MANY WAYS.
00:15:17- YEAH, I-I COME HERE TO THINK MYSELF SOMETIMES,
00:15:19BUT I ALWAYS KNOCK FIRST.
00:15:21I-I ALWAYS DO THAT.
00:15:22I ALWAYS DO THAT ANYWAY, NO MATTER WHAT ROOM.
00:15:23- SO WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE? - I DON'T KNOW.
00:15:26I GUESS I JUST GOT A LITTLE WEIRDED OUT.
00:15:28I MEAN, WE'RE COUSINS. IT'S WRONG.
00:15:31- WELL, YOU KNOW, THE TORAH TELLS US
00:15:32THAT THE LARGER WRONG IS TO PUT OUR OWN FEELINGS
00:15:34BEFORE THE COMMITMENTS WE'VE MADE,
00:15:36YOU KNOW, TOWARDS THE SICK, AGED, AND GROSS. narrator: THAT'S NOT IN THE TORAH.
00:15:39- AND, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
00:15:41WE WEREN'T THERE FOR OURSELVES TODAY.
00:15:43WE WERE THERE TO BRING HAPPINESS TO OTHERS.
00:15:44AND I JUST--I JUST FEEL NOW LIKE WE LEFT
00:15:49A LOT OF OLD PEOPLE SAD THERE TODAY. narrator: AGAIN, NOT TRUE.
00:15:53[singing and clapping]
00:15:58- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING
00:16:00IT'S NOT WEIRD FOR ME TOO.
00:16:02I'M JUST SAYING MAYBE WE COULD
00:16:03TAKE THOSE WEIRD FEELINGS
00:16:04AND TURN THEM INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE. narrator: HE REALLY WANTED THAT KISS.
00:16:08- I MEAN, I GUESS IT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY
00:16:10TO FREAK OUT OUR PARENTS.
00:16:11- LET'S FREAK THEM OUT.
00:16:14- HEY, YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THIS ROOM TOO, HUH?
00:16:15I'M JUST LOOKIN' FOR SOME EVIDENCE
00:16:17FOR MY TRIAL AGAINST POP-POP-- FOR POP-POP.
00:16:22- I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, DOCTOR,
00:16:23WHEN ARE WE GOING TO KNOW SOMETHING?
00:16:25I'M TRYIN' TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE.
00:16:27YEAH, SO IS WHAT REMAINS OF BUSTER.
00:16:28- DR. FARMER, THERE'S A PROBLEM IN 302.
00:16:30THE PATIENT'S HAVING A BAD REACTION
00:16:32TO THE TETRACYCLINE.
00:16:33- TETRACYCLINE? DIDN'T I SAY NOT TO GIVE HIM THAT?
00:16:36DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO MY NOTES?
00:16:38- [Gob singing] IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' WHITE.
00:16:40IT AIN'T EASY.
00:16:42- I'M TRYING TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
00:16:45YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.
00:16:46- NO, I CAN'T, LINDSAY. - YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN ME.
00:16:48- AND YOU'RE NOT CAPABLE OF INTIMACY.
00:16:49- WELL, JUST FAKE IT!
00:16:52COMA. narrator: AND, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
00:16:56THAT ACTUALLY GOT THROUGH TO THEM.
00:16:58- NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE TURN ON THE CARTOON NETWORK
00:17:01AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE? narrator: AND THE NEXT DAY,
00:17:04THE MOCK TRIAL BEGAN, AS DID THE MOCK EPISODE
00:17:07OF WHAT HAD NOW BEEN RENAMED
00:17:09"MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD."
00:17:12- TAKE ONE. IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE--
00:17:15- [singing] MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD
00:17:18MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD
00:17:21MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD
00:17:23MOCK TRIAL!
00:17:26- ALL RISE FOR ACTING'S HIGHEST HONOR,
00:17:28JUDGE REINHOLD!
00:17:30JUDGE REINHOLD IS NEITHER A REAL JUDGE,
00:17:32NOR HAS HE RECEIVED ACTING'S HIGHEST HONOR.
00:17:35- WOW. THANK YOU.
00:17:37THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I EVER GOT A STANDING OVATION
00:17:40BEFORE THE SHOW.
00:17:43THEY'RE NOT CLAPPING.
00:17:44- THEY DON'T IN A COURTROOM.
00:17:46- PLEASE BE SEATED. narrator: THE PROCEEDINGS GOT UNDER WAY,
00:17:50AND THE BLUTHS SET ABOUT PRETENDING
00:17:52THEY WERE A FAMILY THAT STAYS TOGETHER.
00:17:54- YOU NEVER HEARD ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY DISCUSS PLANS
00:17:56TO EITHER TRAVEL TO IRAQ OR DO BUSINESS THERE?
00:18:00- WELL, I SPEND SO MUCH TIME MAKING SWEET LOVE ON MY WIFE
00:18:04THAT IT'S HARD TO HEAR ANYTHING
00:18:06OVER THE CLATTER OF HER BREASTS AND--
00:18:09- YOUR WITNESS. - I HAVE NOTHING.
00:18:11[bass guitar sliding]
00:18:13- OH, HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHERE THE MONEY COMES FROM?
00:18:15I JUST KNOW WHERE IT GOES,
00:18:17TO TAKING CARE OF MY POOR COMATOSE SON.
00:18:21AND IF THIS WERE THE REAL TRIAL, I'D CRY HERE.
00:18:25- I'M SAVING MY GOOD STUFF TOO.
00:18:27- I HAVE NO CROSS AT THIS TIME.
00:18:28- THIS IS WHY YOU'RE NOT HANDLING MY REAL DEFENSE.
00:18:31- I HAVE ONE WITNESS, DAD, AND HE'LL CLEAR EVERYTHING UP.
00:18:34- narrator: GOB HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE.
00:18:35- STATE YOUR NAME.
00:18:37- [Judge's voice] MY NAME IS JUDGE.
00:18:39- WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT, MAGAZINE?
00:18:42- I'M JUST GONNA GO AHEAD AND JUMP IN RIGHT HERE.
00:18:44I HAVE NOTHING FOR HIM.
00:18:45[bass string sliding] narrator: BUT NOW, IT WAS MICHAEL'S TURN.
00:18:48- WELL, LISTEN, HAVE FUN OUT THERE,
00:18:49BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST TIME
00:18:51YOU'RE GONNA SEE THIS SIDE OF A COURTROOM
00:18:52TILL YOUR SECOND WIFE DIVORCES YOUR FRECKLED ASS.
00:18:55- LOOK AT THAT.
00:18:56YOU JUST BLEW YOUR WEDDING SPEECH.
00:18:58I'D LIKE TO JUMP RIGHT AHEAD TO CALLING A SURPRISE WITNESS.
00:19:00- ONLY WITNESSES ON THE LIST. - OH, HE'S ON THE LIST.
00:19:03- I WOULD LIKE TO CALL TO THE STAND
00:19:08FRANKLIN DELANO BLUTH.
00:19:11- YOU'RE CALLIN' FRANKLIN, MIKEY?
00:19:12- I SURE AM, PAL.
00:19:13I SUPPORT MY BROTHER.
00:19:16- [singing] IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' WHITE
00:19:18IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' BROWN.
00:19:21YOU'RE MY BRO, YOU'RE MY BROTHER
00:19:26- YOUR HONOR, THIS IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL.
00:19:27- WELL, I'M VERY CURIOUS TO SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.
00:19:30I'M GONNA ALLOW IT.
00:19:31BUT I'M WARNING YOU, MR. BLUTH,
00:19:33THIS BETTER MAKE FOR A GOOD PROMO.
00:19:35- I WAS APPROACHED BY THE REAL PROSECUTION RECENTLY
00:19:38AND WAS ASKED IF I WOULD BE WILLING TO TURN ON MY FAMILY
00:19:40AND SAVE MYSELF.
00:19:42WOULD YOU PLEASE PRESS THE PLAY BUTTON
00:19:44ON THE TAPE RECORDER INSIDE THE PUPPET?
00:19:47- IF YOU DON'T DO IT, WE'RE GONNA GO AFTER N. BLUTH,
00:19:49AND WE THINK THAT'S YOU.
00:19:51- YOU'RE ASKING ME TO CONSPIRE AGAINST MY OWN CLIENT.
00:19:53- WHY DO THERE HAVE TO BE PUPPETS LIKE FRANK?
00:19:56- THINK ABOUT IT, MICHAEL.
00:19:57- WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT A MISTRIAL.
00:19:59BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE, WE'VE ALSO GOT A HUNG JURY.
00:20:02HIT IT!
00:20:03- MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD
00:20:07MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD
00:20:10MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD
00:20:12- YOU DID GOOD OUT THERE, MICHAEL.
00:20:14BUT IT'S JUST A MOCK TRIAL.
00:20:16WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE IT TO THE GRAND JURY?
00:20:17- WANTED TO PROVE TO YOU THAT I COULD DO IT.
00:20:19I'M GOING TO A GRAND JURY WITH THAT NOW. narrator: ACTUALLY, MICHAEL HAD NO IDEA
00:20:24THAT'S WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.
00:20:26- NICE JOB. YOU HAVE A REAL SHOT.
00:20:28YOU ALL STUCK TOGETHER, AND THAT'S WHAT WINS CASES.
00:20:30- WE DON'T ABANDON EACH OTHER.
00:20:32- NO ONE'S CLOSER THAN THE BLUTH FAMILY. narrator: THEY WERE.
00:20:35- I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE. narrator: FOR AS IT TURNS OUT,
00:20:40THE FAKE PRIEST WAS CALLED TO A PATIENT'S ROOM,
00:20:42AND FATHER BEN FILLED IN, NOT KNOWING IT WAS FAKE.
00:20:47AND THAT'S HOW THE KIDS GOT MARRIED.
00:20:49ON THE NEXT "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT."
00:20:52- "MOCK TRIAL WITH J. REINHOLD" LEADS TO IMITATORS.
00:20:55- ALL RISE. BUD CORT IS NOW IN SESSION.
00:20:57- PLEASE BE SEATED.
00:20:59- HARD TO SIT WHEN YOU GOT SOMEONE'S HAND UP YOUR ASS.
00:21:03- ALL RIGHT, LET'S LOSE THE PUPPET. narrator: AND MICHAEL DISCOVERS THAT HE WASN'T N. BLUTH
00:21:08AFTER ALL.
00:21:11- I HAVE AN OLDER SISTER? narrator: SO MUCH FOR NOT ABANDONING FAMILY.