Home > Arrested Development
Exit Strategy
00:00:01[narrator] IT'S ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.
00:00:06MICHAEL WAS PREPARING HIS SISTER...
00:00:08FOR HER UPCOMING DEPOSITION
00:00:09IN THE CASE AGAINST THEIR FATHER.
00:00:11- IF THEY SAY,
00:00:13"DID YOU KNOW OF ANY FINANCIAL IMPROPRIETIES?" YOU'LL--
00:00:15- UNBUTTON MY SHIRT A BIT AND GIVE 'EM THIS LOOK.
00:00:19- NOT REALLY SURE WHAT YOU'RE GOIN' FOR.
00:00:20- I DRANK A LOT LAST NIGHT.
00:00:22- WHY WERE YOU DRINKING?
00:00:24- IF I LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO MADE LOVE TO HIS WIFE LAST NIGHT,
00:00:27IT'S BECAUSE I ALMOST DID. - THAT'S WHY.
00:00:31[narrator] BUT TOBIAS HAD
00:00:32A LOW TOLERANCE FOR ALCOHOL.
00:00:34- [speech slurred] OH, YOU LOOK VERY HANDS--
00:00:37- SO YOU JUST FINISHED OFF THE BOTTLE?
00:00:40- I HAD TO. IT'S VODKA. IT GOES BAD ONCE IT'S OPENED.
00:00:42- I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER ONE OF MOM'S LITTLE FIBS.
00:00:44YOU KNOW, LIKE,
00:00:46"I'LL SACRIFICE ANYTHING FOR MY CHILDREN."
00:00:47- SPEAKING OF MOM, SHE REALLY DOESN'T WANT ME
00:00:49TO DO THIS DEPOSITION.
00:00:51- YOU HAVE TO, LINDSAY. SORRY. YOU'VE BEEN SUBPOENAED.
00:00:53- I'M AFRAID I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO BE DEPOSED EITHER.
00:00:55I GOT A CALL OUT OF THE BLUE
00:00:57FOR A CHANCE TO PLAY A VERY IMPORTANT PART...
00:00:59IN... THE PROSECUTION.
00:01:02- THE PROSECUTION CALLED YOU?
00:01:03- I ASSUME IT'S A CBS PROCEDURAL.
00:01:05THEY DIDN'T SEND SIDES, SO I THOUGHT I'D TROT OUT
00:01:07A VAGINA MONOLOGUE OR SOMETHING.
00:01:09THEY DID ASK FOR OLD PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS,
00:01:11SO I WENT AND GOT THESE OUT OF THE SECRET ROOM-- OOP.
00:01:14- "THE PROSECUTION" IS NOT A TV SHOW.
00:01:16IT'S CLEARLY SOMEBODY IN THE D.A.'S OFFICE
00:01:17TRYING TO GET YOU TO FLIP.
00:01:19THESE GUYS WILL BEND THE LAW TO ENFORCE THE LAW.
00:01:22- TELL ME THAT'S NOT A CBS FRANCHISE.
00:01:25- I'M SERIOUS.
00:01:26WHY ELSE WOULD THEY WANT ALL THESE DOCUMENTS?
00:01:28- FOR SET DRESSING, SILLY.
00:01:29THOSE HOLLYWOOD SHOWS ARE SO INCREDIBLY DETAILED.
00:01:32- YOU'RE GONNA TELL THEM YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED.
00:01:34WE ALL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.
00:01:35THE PROSECUTION'S GONNA BE COMING AFTER ALL OF US.
00:01:37- INCLUDING ME? - YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS.
00:01:40- OH, YEAH. [laughs]
00:01:41YEAH. NO, I--
00:01:43UM, HEY, UH, SPEAKING OF THAT.
00:01:45IT'S ACTUALLY HER BIRTHDAY SOON,
00:01:47SO I THOUGHT WE COULD ALL DO SOMETHING FOR HER.
00:01:49- WHOSE BIRTHDAY? - MAEBY'S.
00:01:53I WAS CHANGING THE SUBJECT.
00:01:54WE-- NO. YEAH, WE WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT MAEBY.
00:01:57BUT SHE'S BEEN FEELING
00:01:58KIND OF LEFT OUT OF THE FAMILY LATELY,
00:02:00AND I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD THROW HER A SURPRISE PARTY.
00:02:02[narrator] ACTUALLY, HE'D ALREADY
00:02:04TOLD HER ABOUT IT.
00:02:05- I JUST POURED MOM INTO BED.
00:02:07WOULD IT KILL HER TO LET SOME VODKA GO BAD?
00:02:08- NO. VODKA DOESN'T--
00:02:10- IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN A WEEK,
00:02:11AND I BET YOU THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW.
00:02:13THEY FORGET EVERY YEAR. I SHOULD JUST MOVE OUT.
00:02:16- BUT THEY'RE PLANNING A SURPRISE PARTY FOR YOU.
00:02:18THEY WOULDN'T FORGET YOUR 16th BIRTHDAY.
00:02:21- OH, MY GOSH. OUR LITTLE GIRL'S TURNING 14.
00:02:24- SIXTEEN ACTUALLY.
00:02:25- WELL, I AM OFF TO BUY THE PERFECT PRESENT.
00:02:28MAYBE SHE'D LIKE A SUIT LIKE THIS.
00:02:29[narrator] THAT IS HER SUIT.
00:02:31- THEY PROBABLY DON'T MAKE IT IN A WOMAN'S STYLE.
00:02:33[narrator] THEY ONLY MAKE IT IN A WOMAN'S.
00:02:35- WELL, I'M OFF, MY LOVE.
00:02:37- YOU SEE? SOMETIMES, SHAME CAN BE FUN.
00:02:39- SHAME?
00:02:40- SECRETS. YOU-- YOU SAID "SHAME."
00:02:43HE SAID "SHAME."
00:02:45- HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT HER? - HMM?
00:02:47- DIDN'T HE JUST SAY GOB SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF?
00:02:50- NO, BUT GIVE IT A WHILE.
00:02:52SOMEBODY WILL. WHAT'S ALL THAT FOR?
00:02:53- IT'S FOR MY OUT-OF-TOWN ACT.
00:02:54- OUT OF TOWN, GOB?
00:02:57THE PROSECUTION IS WATCHING EVERY MOVE WE MAKE.
00:02:58- I'M JUST GOING TO IRAQ.
00:03:00- NO, YOU'RE NOT. - YES, I AM.
00:03:02- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
00:03:04DAD IS UP ON TREASON CHARGES FOR BUILDING HOMES IN IRAQ.
00:03:06- IT'S A U.S.O. TOUR. - YOU'RE NOT GOING.
00:03:07- I'M DOING MY CHRISTIAN MAGIC ACT
00:03:09MY RELIGION GIRLFRIEND HELPED ME WORK OUT.
00:03:11I DRESS UP LIKE JESUS,
00:03:12WALK ON WATER, WHICH YOU'VE SEEN.
00:03:13I'M GONNA DO THE WINE INTO WATER.
00:03:15- IT'S WATER INTO WINE.
00:03:16- THEN I'VE JUST EMPTIED OUT ALL YOUR WINE BOTTLES...
00:03:18AND FILLED THEM WITH FAKE STUFF FOR NOTHING.
00:03:21- GREAT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WITH MY HUSBAND NOW?
00:03:23- GOB, WE GOT THE DEPOSITIONS. YOU'RE NOT GOIN' TO IRAQ.
00:03:26- YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I AM THE SON...
00:03:28THAT THE FATHER HAS ASKED TO DO HIS WORK IN THE HOLY LAND.
00:03:32- SO DAD IS BEHIND THIS.
00:03:33- AND HE WON'T BUMP ME UP TO BUSINESS CLASS.
00:03:36[narrator] LATER THAT DAY,
00:03:37TOBIAS MET WITH THE PROSECUTOR, WAYNE JARVIS.
00:03:40- ...A FLOWER IN MY GARDEN, A MYSTERY IN MY PANTIES.
00:03:45- THIS IS NOT AN AUDITION FOR A CBS SHOW.
00:03:47- I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOME FEEDBACK.
00:03:49- IT WAS A LITTLE CONTRIVED.
00:03:51NOW, WE THINK WE CAN OFFER YOU A GOOD DEAL...
00:03:54IF YOU PROVIDE EVIDENCE THAT PUTS GEORGE BLUTH BEHIND BARS.
00:03:57- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE IS CONTRIVED-- THE ODDS
00:03:59I WOULD TURN ON MY FAMILY...
00:04:01FOR SOMEBODY WHO IS NOT ONLY TRYING TO HURT THEM...
00:04:03BUT WHO WOULDN'T KNOW GOOD ACTING IF IT MARCHED
00:04:04THROUGH THAT DOOR...
00:04:06AND GAVE THEM HEAD SHOTS AND DECORATIVE SOAPS.
00:04:08[narrator] AND AS TOBIAS WAITED
00:04:09FOR THE ELEVATOR,
00:04:11HE NOTICED AN INTERESTING FLYER PROMISING THE PERFECT GIFT...
00:04:14FOR THE DAUGHTER WHO DIDN'T FEEL PART OF THE FAMILY.
00:04:17- HE TOOK THE BAIT.
00:04:18- HE'S A CLASSIC SCRAPBOOKER.
00:04:20- RIGHT DOWN TO THE WOMAN'S SUIT.
00:04:23[narrator] MICHAEL WENT
00:04:24TO CONFRONT HIS FATHER
00:04:25ABOUT GOB'S TRIP TO IRAQ.
00:04:27- EVERYONE KNOWS YOU BUILT HOMES FOR SADDAM HUSSEIN.
00:04:28TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.
00:04:30- FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, I WAS A PATSY.
00:04:33I GOTTA FIND A LOOPHOLE TO GET OUT OF THIS,
00:04:35BUT BUSTER TOOK COMA AND YOUR MOTHER TOOK REHAB.
00:04:39- HEY. YOU GOIN' TO REHAB AGAIN?
00:04:41- I'M BRINGING LINDSAY. I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER.
00:04:45- DID YOU GET THE CORKSCREW?
00:04:47- I SEE THERE'S GONNA BE WINE AT THE REHAB, HUH?
00:04:49- WINE ONLY TURNS INTO ALCOHOL IF YOU LET IT SIT.
00:04:52- HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE?
00:04:55I'LL MEET WITH THE PROSECUTOR, ASK FOR A POSTPONEMENT.
00:04:57BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO ON THE RECORD ABOUT
00:04:58WHY YOU TWO AREN'T THERE.
00:05:00IF YOU MAKE A LIAR OUT OF ME, WE'RE GONNA BE IN BIG TROUBLE.
00:05:02- THIS CONSTANT BICKERING IS GONNA PUT ME IN A COMA.
00:05:04- NICE TRY, DAD.
00:05:06[narrator] BUSTER WAS FINDING
00:05:07HIS FAKE COMA HARD TO SUSTAIN.
00:05:09- IT TAKES A LOT OF COURAGE
00:05:11TO ENDURE WHAT THEY PUT YOU THROUGH,
00:05:13ESPECIALLY SINCE YOUR MOTHER SAW THAT WEB SITE.
00:05:15[narrator] BUSTER WAS NOT ONLY PROVIDING
00:05:17MEDICAL STUDENTS...
00:05:18A LIVE BODY TO LEARN ON--
00:05:20- THAT'S OKAY. TRY AGAIN. NO. THAT'S A TENDON.
00:05:23HE'D BE SCREAMING RIGHT NOW. THAT'S OKAY. TRY AGAIN.
00:05:25- [low moaning]
00:05:26[narrator] HE'D ALSO SERVED
00:05:27AS A HUMAN CANVAS FOR ASPIRING BEAUTICIANS.
00:05:30- THAT'S OKAY.
00:05:31YOU PUT TOO MUCH COLLAGEN IN THERE.
00:05:32NO, NO. TRY IT AGAIN.
00:05:34[narrator] AND A MUCH-NEEDED SET OF TEETH
00:05:35FOR A DENTAL PROGRAM...
00:05:36[drill buzzing]
00:05:38DESIGNED TO ENCOURAGE AT-RISK YOUTH.
00:05:40- THAT'S OKAY, TURF. NO. TRY AGAIN.
00:05:43[Buster gasping]
00:05:45YOU'VE GOT YOUR FOREARM ON THIS WINDPIPE, DOG BONE.
00:05:47[narrator] IT REALLY WAS AMAZING
00:05:48FOR THEIR SELF-ESTEEM.
00:05:49- I DID IT.
00:05:51[narrator] EVEN BUSTER WAS MOVED.
00:05:53BUT HE ENDURED IT ALL FOR ADELAIDE.
00:05:55- I LOVE YOU, BUSTER.
00:05:57WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO HEAR YOU SAY
00:05:58YOU LOVE ME TOO--
00:06:00EVEN IF IT MEANT YOU'D BEEN FAKING THIS WHOLE TIME.
00:06:03SPEAK TO ME. SAY ANYTHING, MY LOVE.
00:06:07- ANYTHING? - [exclaims]
00:06:09- [yelps] - FAKER!
00:06:11- I WASN'T FAKING MY LOVE FOR YOU.
00:06:12I DIDN'T WANT TO TESTIFY AT MY DAD'S TRIAL.
00:06:15- WELL, YOU'RE A COWARD. - NO!
00:06:17- ADELAIDE, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN?
00:06:20I WISH YOU'D COME TO, OR DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME?
00:06:23- OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT YOU. - YOU FAKER!
00:06:27HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN?
00:06:29TAKE A SINGLE STEP TO SHOW ME YOUR LOVE, GARY.
00:06:33- AW! FAKER!
00:06:35[narrator] SHE WAS WRONG ON THAT ONE.
00:06:37IT WAS LOVE THAT MADE GARY TAKE THAT STEP.
00:06:39- WHO EVER SAID VEGETABLES WERE GOOD FOR YOUR HEART?
00:06:43- [crying]
00:06:44NO, NO. NO, PLEASE.
00:06:45[narrator] OF COURSE, HE HADN'T
00:06:46USED HIS LEGS IN THREE WEEKS.
00:06:47[yelps]
00:06:49AND MICHAEL MET WITH WAYNE JARVIS.
00:06:51- I APOLOGIZE FOR THE REST OF MY FAMILY NOT BEING HERE.
00:06:54THEY WANTED TO TESTIFY,
00:06:55BUT THEY ALL HAVE PERFECTLY LEGAL EXCUSES.
00:06:57AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT NO ONE IS HIDING.
00:07:00- MICHAEL, YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR SISTER ARE NOT
00:07:02IN A REHAB CENTER.
00:07:03- WHERE ARE THEY REALLY? - WE DON'T KNOW.
00:07:05BUT WE DO KNOW THE TWO PEOPLE WHO
00:07:06CHECKED INTO SHADY PINES...
00:07:08UNDER THE NAMES LUCILLE BLUTH AND LINDSAY FUNKE
00:07:10ARE NOT YOUR RELATIVES.
00:07:12ALSO, FOR SOMEONE IN A COMA,
00:07:14YOUR BROTHER BUSTER HAS MADE
00:07:15AN IMPRESSIVE 15 PHONE CALLS TO RADIO STATIONS...
00:07:18ALTERNATELY REQUESTING
00:07:19"I WILL SURVIVE" AND-- WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE?
00:07:21- [heavy accent] "SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE."
00:07:23- "SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE."
00:07:24AS FOR YOUR BROTHER GOB IN THE U.S.O.--
00:07:27- DON'T TELL ME HE'S NOT IN IRAQ?
00:07:28- NO, HE'S THERE.
00:07:30IN FACT, MICHAEL, HE'S ON THE NEWS-- RIGHT NOW.
00:07:32[speaking Japanese]
00:07:34- ARE BEES BETTER AT SNIFFING OUT DRUGS THAN DOGS?
00:07:37- I'M SURE IT'S COMING RIGHT UP. THEY'VE BEEN PLAYING IT ALL DAY.
00:07:40[woman on tv] AND THEY DELIVER
00:07:41INSULIN RIGHT TO MY DOOR.
00:07:43- I'M SURE IT'S RIGHT AFTER THIS SERIES OF ADS.
00:07:45IT'S, LIKE, EVERY TIME YOU TURN ON THE TV, IT'S THERE.
00:07:47- WHY DON'T WE JUST GO ONLINE? - COOL YOUR JAPANESE JETS.
00:07:50- AN INSURGENT IN IRAQ FROM ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA?
00:07:52- IT'S ON.
00:07:54- WHY HE'S BEING HELD IN JAIL AND WHY HE WON'T BE COMING HOME
00:07:56ANYTIME SOON.
00:07:57- AND IMAGINE THE IMPACT
00:07:59IF THAT HAD COME ON RIGHT WHEN WE TURNED ON THE TV.
00:08:09[narrator] MICHAEL HAD BEEN CALLED TO SIGN
00:08:10HIS BROTHER OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.
00:08:12- YOU CAN STOP PRETENDING TO BE IN A COMA.
00:08:14WE HEARD YOUR REQUESTS ON THE WAY OVER.
00:08:16- I'M NOT FAKING IT, MICHAEL. I REALLY AM THIS EXPRESSIONLESS.
00:08:19MY LOVE THINKS I'M A COWARD...
00:08:21JUST BECAUSE I WAS USING PRECIOUS HOSPITAL RESOURCES
00:08:23TO AVOID MY LEGAL OBLIGATION.
00:08:25- THAT DOES SAY COWARD. WE'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS.
00:08:27GOB IS LOCKED IN A PRISON IN IRAQ.
00:08:29- WHAT?
00:08:30- SO HE'S ACTUALLY IN AN IRAQI PRISON?
00:08:31- NO. IT'S U.S. RUN.
00:08:33- OH.
00:08:35- GOD KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO HIM.
00:08:36MOM AND LINDSAY ARE PRETENDING TO BE IN REHAB.
00:08:38I CAN'T GET AHOLD OF DAD,
00:08:39AND I HAVE TO FLY TO IRAQ MYSELF TO GET GOB.
00:08:43- DO YOU HAVE TO GO BY YOURSELF? - LET ME GO WITH YOU.
00:08:45I WAS TRAINED BY ARMY. I SPEAK THE LANGUAGE.
00:08:49- YOU SPEAK ARABIC? - [throaty vocalization]
00:08:52- WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
00:08:53- I WAS JUST CLEARING MY THROAT.
00:08:54BUT I THINK IT ACTUALLY DOES MEAN "LAUNDRY."
00:08:56LIKE A CHILD'S LAUNDRY.
00:08:57WE DON'T REALLY HAVE A WORD FOR IT.
00:08:59BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TO PROVE TO MY LOVE...
00:09:02THAT I AM A HERO, NOT A COWARD.
00:09:05I HAVE MY UNIFORM HERE.
00:09:06MOTHER BROUGHT IT FOR THE PHOTO SHOOT.
00:09:09- WOULD YOU BE BACK IN TIME FOR MAEBY'S SURPRISE PARTY?
00:09:11- PROBABLY NOT.
00:09:13WE'LL DO SOMETHING WHEN I GET BACK.
00:09:14WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE THE STAIR CAR HOME.
00:09:15BUSTER AND I WILL LEAVE FROM HERE.
00:09:17- BE CAREFUL. - HEY. WHO'S TOUGHER THAN US?
00:09:22[whimpers]
00:09:24- CLOSE ONE.
00:09:26[murmurs]
00:09:28[narrator] THE DEPOSITIONS
00:09:29HAD BEEN DELAYED,
00:09:30BUT THE PROSECUTION WAS ABOUT
00:09:32TO GET A LORD & TAYLOR BAG FULL OF EVIDENCE.
00:09:34- WE SUPPLY THE GLITTER, THE GLUE, THE CREPE PAPER...
00:09:37AND THE READY-MADE TEMPLATE PAGES FOR YOU TO
00:09:39DECORATE AND FILL OUT WITH--
00:09:41MY FAVORITE BIRTHDAY, FOREIGN BANK STATEMENTS,
00:09:46AND, OF COURSE-- SHH-- FAMILY SECRETS.
00:09:49[narrator] THE SCRAPBOOKING STING HAD
00:09:51HELPED THE D.A. GATHER EVIDENCE...
00:09:53AGAINST PEOPLE AS DIVERSE AS KEN LAY,
00:09:57OLIVER NORTH,
00:10:00BUT, IRONICALLY, NOT MARTHA STEWART.
00:10:03- SO DIG UP WHATEVER YOU CAN, AND REMEMBER,
00:10:06PHOTOCOPIES ARE NOT ADMISSIBLE AS MEMORIES.
00:10:09- SIR, I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO TO OUR OLD FAMILY
00:10:11STORAGE UNIT IN RESEDA.
00:10:13- NO PROBLEM.
00:10:14WE CAN ARRANGE FOR A HELICOPTER TO TAKE YOU THERE RIGHT NOW.
00:10:16- WOW!
00:10:18THIS IS THE BEST FREE SCRAPBOOKING CLASS
00:10:19I'VE EVER TAKEN.
00:10:21[narrator] MEANWHILE, LINDSAY AND LUCILLE
00:10:22WERE AT A SPA IN THE DESERT,
00:10:24AVOIDING BOTH REHAB AND THEIR DEPOSITIONS.
00:10:26- FOUR SAUNAS, THREE STEAM BATHS, OLYMPIC-SIZED POOL,
00:10:30AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S NO ALCOHOL?
00:10:32WHAT THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR TWO DAYS?
00:10:35- I COULD TAKE THE TOP OFF THIS GRAPE JUICE,
00:10:37AND MAYBE BY MORNING--
00:10:39- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LINDSAY! GROW UP! YOU'RE 40 YEARS OLD.
00:10:41- THIRTY-FIVE.
00:10:43WELL, MAYBE THIS WILL BE NICE. HMM?
00:10:45WE CAN TALK AND... CONNECT A LITTLE.
00:10:51- I MUST HAVE A XANAX.
00:10:53- I'LL GO SCORE SOME WEED FROM THE STAFF.
00:10:55[narrator] AND MICHAEL AND BUSTER
00:10:56CHECKED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.
00:10:58- I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME
00:10:59A WHEELCHAIR RIDE.
00:11:01- YOU'RE GONNA BE SITTING ON A PLANE
00:11:02FOR 18 HOURS TO IRAQ.
00:11:04- YEAH, I SHOULD DEFINITELY GET ONE FOR THE AIRPORT.
00:11:05- YOU'RE GOING TO IRAQ?
00:11:07- YES. I'M GOING TO SAVE MY BROTHER.
00:11:09- SO YOU ARE BRAVE AFTER ALL.
00:11:12FIGHTING FOR YOUR BROTHER.
00:11:13OH, BUSTER, YOU'RE SUCH A-- [bleep]
00:11:17- THAT MEANS SHE LIKES YOU.
00:11:18- IT'S MORE THAN "LIKE."
00:11:20I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE YOU STAY HERE.
00:11:22- THEN I WILL STAY HERE. I WAS SCARED TO GO ANYWAY.
00:11:24- FAKER! - OH!
00:11:26- I KNEW YOU WERE NO GOOD.
00:11:28- THAN I SHALL GO-- TO FORGET YOU.
00:11:30- OH, BUSTER, DON'T GO.
00:11:31- I DON'T WANNA GO.
00:11:34- I'M GONNA SAVE EVERYBODY A LOT OF TROUBLE AND SAY
00:11:35THAT WE ARE GOING. HE IS GOING. COME ON.
00:11:37- WHEN I MISS YOUR LIPS,
00:11:39I'LL PUT A FIG IN MY MOUTH AND THINK OF YOU.
00:11:43THEY HAVE FIGS OVER THERE, RIGHT?
00:11:45- I'LL WAIT FOR YOU.
00:11:47WHAT'S THIS?
00:11:48- CAB DRIVER SAID HE WENT INTO A COMA...
00:11:50AS SOON AS THEY PULLED UP TO THE HOSPITAL.
00:11:52- WHAT A BRAVE MAN.
00:11:55[narrator] AND SOON THE BLUTH BOYS...
00:11:56FOUND THEMSELVES IN A STRANGE LAND.
00:12:00[arguing in Arabic language ]
00:12:06- WHAT DID HE SAY? WHERE ARE WE?
00:12:08- HE SAID HE WAS TAKING SURFACE STREETS TO L.A.X.
00:12:10THE FREEWAY'S BACKED UP ALL THE WAY TO KNOTT'S BERRY FARM.
00:12:12[narrator] GEORGE MICHAEL, MEANWHILE,
00:12:13GOT AHOLD OF MAEBY'S ADDRESS BOOK...
00:12:15TO INVITE ALL HER FRIENDS TO HER SWEET 16.
00:12:19HE DID, HOWEVER, DECIDE
00:12:20AGAINST SOME GUESTS HE FOUND THREATENING.
00:12:22- I DON'T THINK STEVE HOLT HAS TO COME TO THIS.
00:12:25[cell phone beeps]
00:12:26AND YET HE DID INVITE MICKEY ROURKE.
00:12:28AND THE GUYS FINALLY DID GET TO IRAQ,
00:12:31BUT BUSTER'S ARABIC WAS A LITTLE RUSTY.
00:12:33AND INSTEAD OF A CAB,
00:12:34HE HIRED THEM THE ONLY RICKSHAW IN BAGHDAD.
00:12:38- ARE YOU READY FOR OPERATION HOT BROTHER?
00:12:40- I'M NOT READY TO CALL IT THAT.
00:12:42[narrator] THEY ARRIVED AT THE PRISON
00:12:43THE AMERICANS WERE TRAINING IRAQIS TO RUN.
00:12:46- NO. WHAT'D YOU FORGET?
00:12:48WALK THEM THROUGH THE-- THE WHAT?
00:12:51- THE METAL DETECTOR. - THAT'S OKAY. TRY AGAIN.
00:12:54- MY GOD! YOU CAME!
00:12:55- OKAY, OKAY.
00:12:56- OH, I MISSED YOU, MICHAEL!
00:12:58- ALL RIGHT. [chuckles]
00:12:59- OR SHOULD I SAY "ROBOT"?
00:13:01- WHAT, 'CAUSE I'M NOT CRYING?
00:13:03- MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH RAM TO UNDERSTAND THIS,
00:13:05BUT THERE'S SUCH A THING AS BROTHERLY LOVE.
00:13:08WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? I THOUGHT HE WAS IN A COMA.
00:13:10- I WAS TRYING TO PROVE TO THIS NURSE THAT I'M BRAVE.
00:13:12I NEED TO GET A PICTURE OF ME WITH THE INSURGENT.
00:13:14I CAN SEND IT ON MY PHONE.
00:13:15- WHY WERE YOU ARRESTED BY THE AMERICANS?
00:13:17- I WAS DOING A LITTLE OFF-MISSION STREET MAGIC,
00:13:19TRYING TO MAKE A FEW DINARS.
00:13:21AND THAT IS WHY JESUS WAS OFTEN REFERRED TO AS...
00:13:24"THE KING... OF KINGS."
00:13:28QUEENS. THE KING OF QUEENS.
00:13:31NOW I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BEHOLD
00:13:33ONE OF THE LATE, GREAT JESUS'S BIGGEST ILLUSIONS--
00:13:35[organ crescendo] THE BURNING BUSH!
00:13:37[crowd] BUSH? BURN BUSH?
00:13:39BURN BUSH! BURNING BUSH!
00:13:41[crowd chanting] BURN BUSH!
00:13:43[narrator] THE SECURITY FORCES
00:13:44ARRIVED TO SUPPRESS...
00:13:46WHAT APPEARED TO BE AN ANTI-AMERICAN DEMONSTRATION.
00:13:48[stun gun buzzing] [chanting continues]
00:13:51- THAT'S OKAY. USE YOUR FOOT.
00:13:53THE THIGH BRUISES. WHAT DOESN'T? TRY AGAIN.
00:13:56- SO YOU WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING FOR DAD?
00:13:58- HE HAD SAID, IF I HAPPENED TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
00:14:00OF SADR CITY AND MAMOON,
00:14:02WOULD I MIND TORCHING A COUPLE MODEL HOMES?
00:14:03DAD'S JUST TRYING TO KEEP INFORMATION OUT
00:14:05OF THE HANDS OF THE IRAQIS.
00:14:07- I HAVE A FEELING HE WAS TRYING TO KEEP INFORMATION OUT OF THE
00:14:09HANDS OF THE FEDERAL MARSHALS.
00:14:11- I'M GONNA GO COLLECT MY THINGS AND SAY MY GOOD-BYES.
00:14:12YOU GUYS CHECK ME OUTTA HERE.
00:14:14- GOB, YOU'RE AN ENEMY COMBATANT.
00:14:16IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT EASY. I'LL TALK TO THEM,
00:14:18BUT YOU MIGHT WANNA PREPARE FOR A LONG STAY.
00:14:27- OH, SHOOT. I FORGOT TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO YUSEF.
00:14:30- THAT WAS A LOT EASIER THAN I EXPECTED.
00:14:31ALMOST TOO EASY.
00:14:33- WHY AREN'T WE GOING TO THE AIRPORT?
00:14:35- I WANNA CHECK OUT THIS HOUSE DAD ASKED YOU TO BURN DOWN,
00:14:37SEE WHAT HE'S HIDING.
00:14:39I THINK THAT'S IT, SIR. - [throaty vocalization]
00:14:42- BUSTER, THIS GUY SPEAKS ENGLISH.
00:14:44- NO. I SWALLOWED A MOTH.
00:14:46- I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG,
00:14:48BUT THE CHENEY EXPRESSWAY
00:14:49WAS BACKED UP ALL THE WAY TO HALLIBURTON DRIVE.
00:14:51[doorbell rings]
00:14:53- LET'S SEE WHAT ALL THE MYSTERY'S ABOUT.
00:14:55[narrator] THAT'S WHEN MICHAEL
00:14:56FOUND SOMEONE...
00:14:58THE U.S. GOVERNMENT HAD BEEN ABLE TO DEPOSE.
00:15:00- HELLO? - TAKE MY PICTURE!
00:15:03TAKE MY PICTURE! [giggling]
00:15:10[narrator] MICHAEL WAS IN IRAQ WHEN HE
00:15:11CAME ACROSS A FAMILIAR FACE.
00:15:14- [stammering] ARE YOU, UH--
00:15:15- I AM SADDAM HUSSEIN...
00:15:17LOOK-ALIKE.
00:15:19WHO ARE YOU? - I'M MICHAEL BLUTH.
00:15:22THESE ARE MY BROTHERS BUSTER AND GOB BLUTH.
00:15:24- BLUTH? IS HE HERE TO FIX THE AIR CONDITIONING?
00:15:28- ARE YOU BOTH SADDAM HUSSEIN LOOK-ALIKES?
00:15:30- HARDLY. INVITE THEM IN.
00:15:32- I AM BEHAVING LIKE AN UDAY LOOK-ALIKE.
00:15:36COME ON IN. COME ON IN, GUYS.
00:15:38- I'D ALWAYS HEARD THAT THERE WERE SADDAM HUSSEIN LOOK-ALIKES.
00:15:41I'M JUST A LITTLE SURPRISED
00:15:42TO SEE YOU ALL LIVING HERE IN-- IN ONE HOUSE...
00:15:45THAT LOOKS SO SIMILAR TO OURS.
00:15:47- SCAR ON THAT ONE DUDE'S FOREHEAD'S GOTTA BE A PROBLEM.
00:15:49- THAT'S ACHMED.
00:15:50- NEVER STOP WATCHING THE TRIAL.
00:15:51WE ARE ALL FOLLOWING IT PRETTY CLOSELY.
00:15:55- THEY PUT THIS GUY AWAY, YOU GUYS ARE OUT OF A JOB, HUH?
00:15:57- YES, WE WANTED TO KEEP THE HOUSE FOR JUST
00:15:59ONE MORE SEASON.
00:16:00- I HAVE A BABY ON THE WAY.
00:16:02- I DO A BETTER SADDAM THAN THIS GUY.
00:16:05MY SADDAM WOULD SHOW HIS TEETH.
00:16:06- YES, TO CHEW THE SCENERY.
00:16:08[narrator] SO MICHAEL DECIDED
00:16:09THE LEAST HE COULD DO...
00:16:11WAS TAKE A LOOK AT THE AIR CONDITIONING.
00:16:13BUT BEFORE HE DID, HE DECIDED TO SEE...
00:16:15IF THERE WAS A SECRET ROOM IN THIS MODEL HOME AS WELL.
00:16:19AND THAT'S WHEN MICHAEL DISCOVERED THE BOMBSHELL.
00:16:23[shutter clicks] - BUSTER.
00:16:25[narrator] BACK AT THE AMERICAN MODEL HOME,
00:16:27NONE OF THE INVITEES HAD SHOWN UP FOR MAEBY'S PARTY.
00:16:30- SURPRISE. - THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.
00:16:33SO, DID YOU SEND ONE OF THESE TO EVERYONE
00:16:35IN MY ADDRESS BOOK?
00:16:37- YEAH. I'M REALLY SORRY THEY DIDN'T COME.
00:16:39I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. - I DO. THEY FOUND OUT I WAS 16.
00:16:42[narrator] AND A LOT OF US
00:16:43JUST DIDN'T WANT TO DRIVE DOWN TO ORANGE COUNTY.
00:16:45- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
00:16:46- THIS COST ME MY JOB, GEORGE MICHAEL.
00:16:48I WAS A STUDIO EXECUTIVE. I MADE MOVIES.
00:16:51- IS THAT WHY YOU'VE BEEN SO STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME?
00:16:53- HAVE I BEEN?
00:16:55YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M A KID. I'M GONNA START ACTING LIKE ONE.
00:16:57- WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA DRINK? - DO YOU WANNA JOIN ME?
00:16:59- I GUESS IF YOU CAN RUN A STUDIO--
00:17:01[drink pouring]
00:17:02[narrator] BUT THEY DIDN'T
00:17:04KNOW IT WAS THE FAKE WINE FROM GOB'S MAGIC SHOW.
00:17:05- IT'S GOOD.
00:17:06[narrator] AND BACK IN IRAQ.
00:17:08- WHAT IS THIS?
00:17:09- LOOKS LIKE A MID-RANGE NUCLEAR WARHEAD.
00:17:12IT HAS A RANGE CAPACITY
00:17:14OF 4,000 TO 5,000 NAUTICAL MILES.
00:17:16- YOU'VE GOT A PRETTY SOPHISTICATED KNOWLEDGE
00:17:17OF THIS TECHNOLOGY.
00:17:18- MY GOD.
00:17:20IT MAKES ME WANNA HAVE AN ICE CREAM CONE.
00:17:22DOESN'T THIS MAKE YOU WANNA HAVE AN ICE CREAM CONE?
00:17:23- IT DOES.
00:17:25- YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR ICE CREAM IN PRISON.
00:17:27ICE CREAM SANDWICHES.
00:17:29C.I.A., UNDERCOVER.
00:17:30- C.I.A. OF COURSE.
00:17:31THIS EXPLAINS WHY IT WAS SO EASY
00:17:33TO GET YOU OUT OF PRISON.
00:17:34- I KNEW THAT, IF HE GOT OUT, HE WOULD LEAD US...
00:17:36RIGHT TO WHATEVER YOUR DAD WAS HIDIN'.
00:17:38[narrator] THEY'D EVEN
00:17:40CREATED OPPORTUNITIES FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
00:17:41- GET IN THE CELL, STUPID. - YOU'RE-- YOU'RE--
00:17:44YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DIDN'T EVEN SHUT THE DOOR.
00:17:45COME ON!
00:17:48YEAH. YOU GUYS CAN RUN THIS PLACE WITHOUT US.
00:17:51AS-- AS-- AS SOON AS YOU STOP DROPPING YOUR KEYS!
00:17:53COME ON!
00:17:55[narrator] THEY'D EVEN STAGED SOMETHING
00:17:57CALLED AN "HONOR MARATHON"...
00:17:59THEY THOUGHT HE WAS SURE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF.
00:18:01- COME ON.
00:18:03- WE'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR W.M.D.'s FOR YEARS.
00:18:05- W.M.D.'s?
00:18:07THIS THING IS AS FAKE AS ACHMED'S MUSTACHE. SEE?
00:18:11- YEAH, LOOK. IT'S A HOMEFILL.
00:18:13IT'S THE COMPANY
00:18:15THAT MAKES THE FAKE STUFF WE FILL THE MODEL HOMES WITH.
00:18:17- WHAT THE HELL?
00:18:18- WHAT IS THAT, A RECORDING DEVICE?
00:18:20- THIS IS OUR STUFF. I GOTTA CALL THIS IN.
00:18:22- BUSTER? PLEASE?
00:18:24- BAKER. [background: muzak]
00:18:26IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE C.I.A. EAST.
00:18:27I'LL CHECK WITH C.I.A. WEST.
00:18:29DID WE BUG A HOUSE IN MAMOON?
00:18:32- YEAH.
00:18:33WE GOT SOME GUY NAMED GEORGE BLUTH...
00:18:35TO BUILD HOUSES THERE SO WE COULD WIRE THEM.
00:18:37- [sighs]
00:18:38- OH, LOOK. I'M UNCLE BUSTER. - [laughing]
00:18:41- I'M SORRY NO ONE FROM THE FAMILY CAME.
00:18:43- SOMETIMES I WISH I WASN'T EVEN PART OF THE FAMILY.
00:18:46- NO, DON'T-- - YES.
00:18:47- I'VE NEVER WANTED TO SAY THIS, BUT...
00:18:50YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE RELATED TO US.
00:18:52- NO?
00:18:54- 'CAUSE GANGY ONCE SAID TO ME...
00:18:55YOUR MOM MIGHT NOT HAVE
00:18:56EVER EVEN BEEN PREGNANT WITH YOU.
00:18:58- YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
00:19:00- NO. I'M, UH-- I WOULDN'T.
00:19:02EVERYONE STILL LOVES YOU.
00:19:06SOME MORE THAN OTHERS.
00:19:08[narrator] AND PERHAPS
00:19:09IT WAS THE FAKE WINE,
00:19:11BUT THAT WAS THE NIGHT GEORGE MICHAEL AND MAEBY
00:19:13WENT TO SECOND BASE.
00:19:16- SO MY DAD WAS A PATSY? [TV: trial continues]
00:19:19- WE CALL THEM "UNINTENTIONAL OPERATIONS VICTIMS," BUT YES.
00:19:23WE RAN THE WHOLE OPERATION
00:19:24THROUGH A BRITISH BUILDING COMPANY.
00:19:26- THEY CONTACTED MY DAD FOR THE PLANS.
00:19:27I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
00:19:29AFTER ALL OF THAT, HE WASN'T LYING.
00:19:30- LOOK, WE FEEL TERRIBLE.
00:19:31BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY OUR MISTAKE.
00:19:34BUT I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU GUYS OUT.
00:19:37TAKE US OUT? - WHAT?
00:19:39- I COULD REALLY GO FOR SOME ITALIAN.
00:19:40- THERE IS AN OLIVE GARDEN IN MAMOON.
00:19:42- I THINK HE MEANS TO SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD.
00:19:45BUT PLEASE, AT LEAST LET HIM LOOK AT THE AIR CONDITIONING.
00:19:48- IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT US TALKING,
00:19:49WE WILL NOT SAY A WORD.
00:19:51- DON'T BE MAD, BUT I HAVE BEEN SENDING THE PICTURES
00:19:53FROM MY CELL PHONE TO MY FRIEND.
00:19:54- NOT NOW, BUSTER.
00:19:56- HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYING.
00:19:57YOU HAVE? - UH--
00:19:59- WELL, WHO KNOWS WHO SHE SENT THEM TO?
00:20:05- YEAH. YEAH, I GET IT. - HMM?
00:20:09LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE A HERO, BUSTER.
00:20:10- WE BOTH ARE.
00:20:13- WELL--
00:20:15- OKAY. LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT US.
00:20:16WHAT CAN THE U.S. GOVERNMENT DO FOR YOU?
00:20:18- WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME BUSINESS CLASS TICKETS HOME--
00:20:20AND DIRECT FLIGHTS.
00:20:23NONE OF THIS STOPPING IN PHOENIX-- [bleep]
00:20:26- AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, MAYBE WE CAN DROP...
00:20:28SOME OF THESE TREASON CHARGES AGAINST MY FATHER.
00:20:30- AND I DO BELIEVE THERE WAS SOME MENTION
00:20:31OF SOME ICE CREAM.
00:20:34[narrator] AND SO, WITH OPERATION
00:20:35HOT BROTHER A SUCCESS,
00:20:37OUR AMERICAN HEROES LEFT IRAQ.
00:20:40- TAKE CONDOLEEZZA RICE LANE. IT'S QUICKER.
00:20:43[narrator] MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
00:20:46ON THE NEXT ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.
00:20:49TOBIAS GIVES HIS DAUGHTER THE GIFT HE'D STAYED UP
00:20:51ALL NIGHT MAKING.
00:20:53- AND HERE'S A PICTURE OF YOUR MOTHER PREGNANT.
00:20:56AND HERE'S A WHOLE SERIES
00:20:57OF YOUR HEAD STARTING TO CROWN.
00:20:59LOOK AT YOU-- SO FULL OF WONDER AND SHOCK.
00:21:02YOU STILL DO IT. AND SO DOES HE!
00:21:05[laughing]
00:21:06BOY, YOU GUYS REALLY ARE RELATED.
00:21:08[narrator] AND MICHAEL AND GOB
00:21:10MAKE AN INTERESTING DISCOVERY.
00:21:11- [translator on TV] I'M TELLING YOU,
00:21:12YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY.
00:21:14THE REAL SADDAM HAS A SCAR ON HIS HEAD.
00:21:16I'M NO SCAR. I'M NO SCAR. - OH, MY GOD.
00:21:18DOT-COM.
00:21:19[translator] DOT-COM.