Home > Arrested Development

Exit Strategy

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[narrator] IT'S ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.

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MICHAEL WAS PREPARING HIS SISTER...

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FOR HER UPCOMING DEPOSITION

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IN THE CASE AGAINST THEIR FATHER.

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- IF THEY SAY,

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"DID YOU KNOW OF ANY FINANCIAL IMPROPRIETIES?" YOU'LL--

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- UNBUTTON MY SHIRT A BIT AND GIVE 'EM THIS LOOK.

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- NOT REALLY SURE WHAT YOU'RE GOIN' FOR.

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- I DRANK A LOT LAST NIGHT.

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- WHY WERE YOU DRINKING?

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- IF I LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO MADE LOVE TO HIS WIFE LAST NIGHT,

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IT'S BECAUSE I ALMOST DID. - THAT'S WHY.

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[narrator] BUT TOBIAS HAD

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A LOW TOLERANCE FOR ALCOHOL.

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- [speech slurred] OH, YOU LOOK VERY HANDS--

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- SO YOU JUST FINISHED OFF THE BOTTLE?

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- I HAD TO. IT'S VODKA. IT GOES BAD ONCE IT'S OPENED.

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- I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER ONE OF MOM'S LITTLE FIBS.

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YOU KNOW, LIKE,

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"I'LL SACRIFICE ANYTHING FOR MY CHILDREN."

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- SPEAKING OF MOM, SHE REALLY DOESN'T WANT ME

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TO DO THIS DEPOSITION.

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- YOU HAVE TO, LINDSAY. SORRY. YOU'VE BEEN SUBPOENAED.

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- I'M AFRAID I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO BE DEPOSED EITHER.

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I GOT A CALL OUT OF THE BLUE

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FOR A CHANCE TO PLAY A VERY IMPORTANT PART...

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IN... THE PROSECUTION.

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- THE PROSECUTION CALLED YOU?

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- I ASSUME IT'S A CBS PROCEDURAL.

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THEY DIDN'T SEND SIDES, SO I THOUGHT I'D TROT OUT

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A VAGINA MONOLOGUE OR SOMETHING.

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THEY DID ASK FOR OLD PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS,

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SO I WENT AND GOT THESE OUT OF THE SECRET ROOM-- OOP.

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- "THE PROSECUTION" IS NOT A TV SHOW.

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IT'S CLEARLY SOMEBODY IN THE D.A.'S OFFICE

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TRYING TO GET YOU TO FLIP.

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THESE GUYS WILL BEND THE LAW TO ENFORCE THE LAW.

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- TELL ME THAT'S NOT A CBS FRANCHISE.

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- I'M SERIOUS.

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WHY ELSE WOULD THEY WANT ALL THESE DOCUMENTS?

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- FOR SET DRESSING, SILLY.

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THOSE HOLLYWOOD SHOWS ARE SO INCREDIBLY DETAILED.

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- YOU'RE GONNA TELL THEM YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED.

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WE ALL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.

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THE PROSECUTION'S GONNA BE COMING AFTER ALL OF US.

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- INCLUDING ME? - YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS.

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- OH, YEAH. [laughs]

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YEAH. NO, I--

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UM, HEY, UH, SPEAKING OF THAT.

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IT'S ACTUALLY HER BIRTHDAY SOON,

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SO I THOUGHT WE COULD ALL DO SOMETHING FOR HER.

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- WHOSE BIRTHDAY? - MAEBY'S.

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I WAS CHANGING THE SUBJECT.

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WE-- NO. YEAH, WE WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT MAEBY.

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BUT SHE'S BEEN FEELING

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KIND OF LEFT OUT OF THE FAMILY LATELY,

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AND I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD THROW HER A SURPRISE PARTY.

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[narrator] ACTUALLY, HE'D ALREADY

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TOLD HER ABOUT IT.

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- I JUST POURED MOM INTO BED.

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WOULD IT KILL HER TO LET SOME VODKA GO BAD?

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- NO. VODKA DOESN'T--

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- IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN A WEEK,

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AND I BET YOU THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW.

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THEY FORGET EVERY YEAR. I SHOULD JUST MOVE OUT.

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- BUT THEY'RE PLANNING A SURPRISE PARTY FOR YOU.

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THEY WOULDN'T FORGET YOUR 16th BIRTHDAY.

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- OH, MY GOSH. OUR LITTLE GIRL'S TURNING 14.

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- SIXTEEN ACTUALLY.

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- WELL, I AM OFF TO BUY THE PERFECT PRESENT.

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MAYBE SHE'D LIKE A SUIT LIKE THIS.

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[narrator] THAT IS HER SUIT.

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- THEY PROBABLY DON'T MAKE IT IN A WOMAN'S STYLE.

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[narrator] THEY ONLY MAKE IT IN A WOMAN'S.

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- WELL, I'M OFF, MY LOVE.

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- YOU SEE? SOMETIMES, SHAME CAN BE FUN.

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- SHAME?

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- SECRETS. YOU-- YOU SAID "SHAME."

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HE SAID "SHAME."

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- HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT HER? - HMM?

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- DIDN'T HE JUST SAY GOB SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF?

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- NO, BUT GIVE IT A WHILE.

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SOMEBODY WILL. WHAT'S ALL THAT FOR?

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- IT'S FOR MY OUT-OF-TOWN ACT.

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- OUT OF TOWN, GOB?

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THE PROSECUTION IS WATCHING EVERY MOVE WE MAKE.

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- I'M JUST GOING TO IRAQ.

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- NO, YOU'RE NOT. - YES, I AM.

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- NO, YOU'RE NOT.

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DAD IS UP ON TREASON CHARGES FOR BUILDING HOMES IN IRAQ.

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- IT'S A U.S.O. TOUR. - YOU'RE NOT GOING.

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- I'M DOING MY CHRISTIAN MAGIC ACT

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MY RELIGION GIRLFRIEND HELPED ME WORK OUT.

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I DRESS UP LIKE JESUS,

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WALK ON WATER, WHICH YOU'VE SEEN.

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I'M GONNA DO THE WINE INTO WATER.

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- IT'S WATER INTO WINE.

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- THEN I'VE JUST EMPTIED OUT ALL YOUR WINE BOTTLES...

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AND FILLED THEM WITH FAKE STUFF FOR NOTHING.

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- GREAT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WITH MY HUSBAND NOW?

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- GOB, WE GOT THE DEPOSITIONS. YOU'RE NOT GOIN' TO IRAQ.

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- YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I AM THE SON...

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THAT THE FATHER HAS ASKED TO DO HIS WORK IN THE HOLY LAND.

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- SO DAD IS BEHIND THIS.

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- AND HE WON'T BUMP ME UP TO BUSINESS CLASS.

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[narrator] LATER THAT DAY,

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TOBIAS MET WITH THE PROSECUTOR, WAYNE JARVIS.

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- ...A FLOWER IN MY GARDEN, A MYSTERY IN MY PANTIES.

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- THIS IS NOT AN AUDITION FOR A CBS SHOW.

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- I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOME FEEDBACK.

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- IT WAS A LITTLE CONTRIVED.

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NOW, WE THINK WE CAN OFFER YOU A GOOD DEAL...

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IF YOU PROVIDE EVIDENCE THAT PUTS GEORGE BLUTH BEHIND BARS.

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- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE IS CONTRIVED-- THE ODDS

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I WOULD TURN ON MY FAMILY...

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FOR SOMEBODY WHO IS NOT ONLY TRYING TO HURT THEM...

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BUT WHO WOULDN'T KNOW GOOD ACTING IF IT MARCHED

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THROUGH THAT DOOR...

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AND GAVE THEM HEAD SHOTS AND DECORATIVE SOAPS.

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[narrator] AND AS TOBIAS WAITED

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FOR THE ELEVATOR,

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HE NOTICED AN INTERESTING FLYER PROMISING THE PERFECT GIFT...

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FOR THE DAUGHTER WHO DIDN'T FEEL PART OF THE FAMILY.

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- HE TOOK THE BAIT.

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- HE'S A CLASSIC SCRAPBOOKER.

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- RIGHT DOWN TO THE WOMAN'S SUIT.

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[narrator] MICHAEL WENT

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TO CONFRONT HIS FATHER

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ABOUT GOB'S TRIP TO IRAQ.

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- EVERYONE KNOWS YOU BUILT HOMES FOR SADDAM HUSSEIN.

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TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

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- FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, I WAS A PATSY.

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I GOTTA FIND A LOOPHOLE TO GET OUT OF THIS,

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BUT BUSTER TOOK COMA AND YOUR MOTHER TOOK REHAB.

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- HEY. YOU GOIN' TO REHAB AGAIN?

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- I'M BRINGING LINDSAY. I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER.

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- DID YOU GET THE CORKSCREW?

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- I SEE THERE'S GONNA BE WINE AT THE REHAB, HUH?

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- WINE ONLY TURNS INTO ALCOHOL IF YOU LET IT SIT.

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- HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE?

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I'LL MEET WITH THE PROSECUTOR, ASK FOR A POSTPONEMENT.

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BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO ON THE RECORD ABOUT

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WHY YOU TWO AREN'T THERE.

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IF YOU MAKE A LIAR OUT OF ME, WE'RE GONNA BE IN BIG TROUBLE.

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- THIS CONSTANT BICKERING IS GONNA PUT ME IN A COMA.

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- NICE TRY, DAD.

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[narrator] BUSTER WAS FINDING

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HIS FAKE COMA HARD TO SUSTAIN.

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- IT TAKES A LOT OF COURAGE

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TO ENDURE WHAT THEY PUT YOU THROUGH,

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ESPECIALLY SINCE YOUR MOTHER SAW THAT WEB SITE.

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[narrator] BUSTER WAS NOT ONLY PROVIDING

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MEDICAL STUDENTS...

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A LIVE BODY TO LEARN ON--

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- THAT'S OKAY. TRY AGAIN. NO. THAT'S A TENDON.

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HE'D BE SCREAMING RIGHT NOW. THAT'S OKAY. TRY AGAIN.

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- [low moaning]

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[narrator] HE'D ALSO SERVED

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AS A HUMAN CANVAS FOR ASPIRING BEAUTICIANS.

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- THAT'S OKAY.

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YOU PUT TOO MUCH COLLAGEN IN THERE.

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NO, NO. TRY IT AGAIN.

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[narrator] AND A MUCH-NEEDED SET OF TEETH

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FOR A DENTAL PROGRAM...

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[drill buzzing]

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DESIGNED TO ENCOURAGE AT-RISK YOUTH.

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- THAT'S OKAY, TURF. NO. TRY AGAIN.

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[Buster gasping]

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YOU'VE GOT YOUR FOREARM ON THIS WINDPIPE, DOG BONE.

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[narrator] IT REALLY WAS AMAZING

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FOR THEIR SELF-ESTEEM.

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- I DID IT.

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[narrator] EVEN BUSTER WAS MOVED.

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BUT HE ENDURED IT ALL FOR ADELAIDE.

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- I LOVE YOU, BUSTER.

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WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO HEAR YOU SAY

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YOU LOVE ME TOO--

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EVEN IF IT MEANT YOU'D BEEN FAKING THIS WHOLE TIME.

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SPEAK TO ME. SAY ANYTHING, MY LOVE.

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- ANYTHING? - [exclaims]

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- [yelps] - FAKER!

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- I WASN'T FAKING MY LOVE FOR YOU.

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I DIDN'T WANT TO TESTIFY AT MY DAD'S TRIAL.

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- WELL, YOU'RE A COWARD. - NO!

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- ADELAIDE, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN?

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I WISH YOU'D COME TO, OR DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME?

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- OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT YOU. - YOU FAKER!

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HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN?

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TAKE A SINGLE STEP TO SHOW ME YOUR LOVE, GARY.

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- AW! FAKER!

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[narrator] SHE WAS WRONG ON THAT ONE.

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IT WAS LOVE THAT MADE GARY TAKE THAT STEP.

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- WHO EVER SAID VEGETABLES WERE GOOD FOR YOUR HEART?

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- [crying]

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NO, NO. NO, PLEASE.

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[narrator] OF COURSE, HE HADN'T

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USED HIS LEGS IN THREE WEEKS.

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[yelps]

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AND MICHAEL MET WITH WAYNE JARVIS.

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- I APOLOGIZE FOR THE REST OF MY FAMILY NOT BEING HERE.

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THEY WANTED TO TESTIFY,

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BUT THEY ALL HAVE PERFECTLY LEGAL EXCUSES.

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AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT NO ONE IS HIDING.

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- MICHAEL, YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR SISTER ARE NOT

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IN A REHAB CENTER.

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- WHERE ARE THEY REALLY? - WE DON'T KNOW.

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BUT WE DO KNOW THE TWO PEOPLE WHO

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CHECKED INTO SHADY PINES...

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UNDER THE NAMES LUCILLE BLUTH AND LINDSAY FUNKE

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ARE NOT YOUR RELATIVES.

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ALSO, FOR SOMEONE IN A COMA,

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YOUR BROTHER BUSTER HAS MADE

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AN IMPRESSIVE 15 PHONE CALLS TO RADIO STATIONS...

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ALTERNATELY REQUESTING

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"I WILL SURVIVE" AND-- WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE?

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- [heavy accent] "SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE."

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- "SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE."

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AS FOR YOUR BROTHER GOB IN THE U.S.O.--

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- DON'T TELL ME HE'S NOT IN IRAQ?

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- NO, HE'S THERE.

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IN FACT, MICHAEL, HE'S ON THE NEWS-- RIGHT NOW.

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[speaking Japanese]

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- ARE BEES BETTER AT SNIFFING OUT DRUGS THAN DOGS?

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- I'M SURE IT'S COMING RIGHT UP. THEY'VE BEEN PLAYING IT ALL DAY.

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[woman on tv] AND THEY DELIVER

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INSULIN RIGHT TO MY DOOR.

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- I'M SURE IT'S RIGHT AFTER THIS SERIES OF ADS.

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IT'S, LIKE, EVERY TIME YOU TURN ON THE TV, IT'S THERE.

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- WHY DON'T WE JUST GO ONLINE? - COOL YOUR JAPANESE JETS.

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- AN INSURGENT IN IRAQ FROM ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA?

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- IT'S ON.

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- WHY HE'S BEING HELD IN JAIL AND WHY HE WON'T BE COMING HOME

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ANYTIME SOON.

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- AND IMAGINE THE IMPACT

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IF THAT HAD COME ON RIGHT WHEN WE TURNED ON THE TV.

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[narrator] MICHAEL HAD BEEN CALLED TO SIGN

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HIS BROTHER OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.

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- YOU CAN STOP PRETENDING TO BE IN A COMA.

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WE HEARD YOUR REQUESTS ON THE WAY OVER.

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- I'M NOT FAKING IT, MICHAEL. I REALLY AM THIS EXPRESSIONLESS.

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MY LOVE THINKS I'M A COWARD...

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JUST BECAUSE I WAS USING PRECIOUS HOSPITAL RESOURCES

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TO AVOID MY LEGAL OBLIGATION.

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- THAT DOES SAY COWARD. WE'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS.

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GOB IS LOCKED IN A PRISON IN IRAQ.

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- WHAT?

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- SO HE'S ACTUALLY IN AN IRAQI PRISON?

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- NO. IT'S U.S. RUN.

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- OH.

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- GOD KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO HIM.

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MOM AND LINDSAY ARE PRETENDING TO BE IN REHAB.

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I CAN'T GET AHOLD OF DAD,

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AND I HAVE TO FLY TO IRAQ MYSELF TO GET GOB.

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- DO YOU HAVE TO GO BY YOURSELF? - LET ME GO WITH YOU.

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I WAS TRAINED BY ARMY. I SPEAK THE LANGUAGE.

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- YOU SPEAK ARABIC? - [throaty vocalization]

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- WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

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- I WAS JUST CLEARING MY THROAT.

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BUT I THINK IT ACTUALLY DOES MEAN "LAUNDRY."

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LIKE A CHILD'S LAUNDRY.

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WE DON'T REALLY HAVE A WORD FOR IT.

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BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TO PROVE TO MY LOVE...

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THAT I AM A HERO, NOT A COWARD.

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I HAVE MY UNIFORM HERE.

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MOTHER BROUGHT IT FOR THE PHOTO SHOOT.

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- WOULD YOU BE BACK IN TIME FOR MAEBY'S SURPRISE PARTY?

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- PROBABLY NOT.

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WE'LL DO SOMETHING WHEN I GET BACK.

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WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE THE STAIR CAR HOME.

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BUSTER AND I WILL LEAVE FROM HERE.

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- BE CAREFUL. - HEY. WHO'S TOUGHER THAN US?

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[whimpers]

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- CLOSE ONE.

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[murmurs]

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[narrator] THE DEPOSITIONS

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HAD BEEN DELAYED,

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BUT THE PROSECUTION WAS ABOUT

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TO GET A LORD & TAYLOR BAG FULL OF EVIDENCE.

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- WE SUPPLY THE GLITTER, THE GLUE, THE CREPE PAPER...

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AND THE READY-MADE TEMPLATE PAGES FOR YOU TO

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DECORATE AND FILL OUT WITH--

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MY FAVORITE BIRTHDAY, FOREIGN BANK STATEMENTS,

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AND, OF COURSE-- SHH-- FAMILY SECRETS.

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[narrator] THE SCRAPBOOKING STING HAD

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HELPED THE D.A. GATHER EVIDENCE...

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AGAINST PEOPLE AS DIVERSE AS KEN LAY,

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OLIVER NORTH,

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BUT, IRONICALLY, NOT MARTHA STEWART.

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- SO DIG UP WHATEVER YOU CAN, AND REMEMBER,

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PHOTOCOPIES ARE NOT ADMISSIBLE AS MEMORIES.

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- SIR, I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO TO OUR OLD FAMILY

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STORAGE UNIT IN RESEDA.

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- NO PROBLEM.

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WE CAN ARRANGE FOR A HELICOPTER TO TAKE YOU THERE RIGHT NOW.

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- WOW!

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THIS IS THE BEST FREE SCRAPBOOKING CLASS

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I'VE EVER TAKEN.

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[narrator] MEANWHILE, LINDSAY AND LUCILLE

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WERE AT A SPA IN THE DESERT,

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AVOIDING BOTH REHAB AND THEIR DEPOSITIONS.

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- FOUR SAUNAS, THREE STEAM BATHS, OLYMPIC-SIZED POOL,

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AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S NO ALCOHOL?

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WHAT THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR TWO DAYS?

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- I COULD TAKE THE TOP OFF THIS GRAPE JUICE,

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AND MAYBE BY MORNING--

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- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LINDSAY! GROW UP! YOU'RE 40 YEARS OLD.

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- THIRTY-FIVE.

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WELL, MAYBE THIS WILL BE NICE. HMM?

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WE CAN TALK AND... CONNECT A LITTLE.

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- I MUST HAVE A XANAX.

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- I'LL GO SCORE SOME WEED FROM THE STAFF.

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[narrator] AND MICHAEL AND BUSTER

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CHECKED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.

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- I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME

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A WHEELCHAIR RIDE.

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- YOU'RE GONNA BE SITTING ON A PLANE

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FOR 18 HOURS TO IRAQ.

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- YEAH, I SHOULD DEFINITELY GET ONE FOR THE AIRPORT.

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- YOU'RE GOING TO IRAQ?

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- YES. I'M GOING TO SAVE MY BROTHER.

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- SO YOU ARE BRAVE AFTER ALL.

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FIGHTING FOR YOUR BROTHER.

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OH, BUSTER, YOU'RE SUCH A-- [bleep]

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- THAT MEANS SHE LIKES YOU.

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- IT'S MORE THAN "LIKE."

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I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE YOU STAY HERE.

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- THEN I WILL STAY HERE. I WAS SCARED TO GO ANYWAY.

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- FAKER! - OH!

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- I KNEW YOU WERE NO GOOD.

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- THAN I SHALL GO-- TO FORGET YOU.

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- OH, BUSTER, DON'T GO.

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- I DON'T WANNA GO.

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- I'M GONNA SAVE EVERYBODY A LOT OF TROUBLE AND SAY

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THAT WE ARE GOING. HE IS GOING. COME ON.

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- WHEN I MISS YOUR LIPS,

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I'LL PUT A FIG IN MY MOUTH AND THINK OF YOU.

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THEY HAVE FIGS OVER THERE, RIGHT?

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- I'LL WAIT FOR YOU.

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WHAT'S THIS?

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- CAB DRIVER SAID HE WENT INTO A COMA...

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AS SOON AS THEY PULLED UP TO THE HOSPITAL.

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- WHAT A BRAVE MAN.

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[narrator] AND SOON THE BLUTH BOYS...

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FOUND THEMSELVES IN A STRANGE LAND.

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[arguing in Arabic language ]

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- WHAT DID HE SAY? WHERE ARE WE?

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- HE SAID HE WAS TAKING SURFACE STREETS TO L.A.X.

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THE FREEWAY'S BACKED UP ALL THE WAY TO KNOTT'S BERRY FARM.

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[narrator] GEORGE MICHAEL, MEANWHILE,

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GOT AHOLD OF MAEBY'S ADDRESS BOOK...

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TO INVITE ALL HER FRIENDS TO HER SWEET 16.

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HE DID, HOWEVER, DECIDE

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AGAINST SOME GUESTS HE FOUND THREATENING.

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- I DON'T THINK STEVE HOLT HAS TO COME TO THIS.

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[cell phone beeps]

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AND YET HE DID INVITE MICKEY ROURKE.

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AND THE GUYS FINALLY DID GET TO IRAQ,

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BUT BUSTER'S ARABIC WAS A LITTLE RUSTY.

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AND INSTEAD OF A CAB,

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HE HIRED THEM THE ONLY RICKSHAW IN BAGHDAD.

00:12:38

- ARE YOU READY FOR OPERATION HOT BROTHER?

00:12:40

- I'M NOT READY TO CALL IT THAT.

00:12:42

[narrator] THEY ARRIVED AT THE PRISON

00:12:43

THE AMERICANS WERE TRAINING IRAQIS TO RUN.

00:12:46

- NO. WHAT'D YOU FORGET?

00:12:48

WALK THEM THROUGH THE-- THE WHAT?

00:12:51

- THE METAL DETECTOR. - THAT'S OKAY. TRY AGAIN.

00:12:54

- MY GOD! YOU CAME!

00:12:55

- OKAY, OKAY.

00:12:56

- OH, I MISSED YOU, MICHAEL!

00:12:58

- ALL RIGHT. [chuckles]

00:12:59

- OR SHOULD I SAY "ROBOT"?

00:13:01

- WHAT, 'CAUSE I'M NOT CRYING?

00:13:03

- MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH RAM TO UNDERSTAND THIS,

00:13:05

BUT THERE'S SUCH A THING AS BROTHERLY LOVE.

00:13:08

WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? I THOUGHT HE WAS IN A COMA.

00:13:10

- I WAS TRYING TO PROVE TO THIS NURSE THAT I'M BRAVE.

00:13:12

I NEED TO GET A PICTURE OF ME WITH THE INSURGENT.

00:13:14

I CAN SEND IT ON MY PHONE.

00:13:15

- WHY WERE YOU ARRESTED BY THE AMERICANS?

00:13:17

- I WAS DOING A LITTLE OFF-MISSION STREET MAGIC,

00:13:19

TRYING TO MAKE A FEW DINARS.

00:13:21

AND THAT IS WHY JESUS WAS OFTEN REFERRED TO AS...

00:13:24

"THE KING... OF KINGS."

00:13:28

QUEENS. THE KING OF QUEENS.

00:13:31

NOW I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BEHOLD

00:13:33

ONE OF THE LATE, GREAT JESUS'S BIGGEST ILLUSIONS--

00:13:35

[organ crescendo] THE BURNING BUSH!

00:13:37

[crowd] BUSH? BURN BUSH?

00:13:39

BURN BUSH! BURNING BUSH!

00:13:41

[crowd chanting] BURN BUSH!

00:13:43

[narrator] THE SECURITY FORCES

00:13:44

ARRIVED TO SUPPRESS...

00:13:46

WHAT APPEARED TO BE AN ANTI-AMERICAN DEMONSTRATION.

00:13:48

[stun gun buzzing] [chanting continues]

00:13:51

- THAT'S OKAY. USE YOUR FOOT.

00:13:53

THE THIGH BRUISES. WHAT DOESN'T? TRY AGAIN.

00:13:56

- SO YOU WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING FOR DAD?

00:13:58

- HE HAD SAID, IF I HAPPENED TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

00:14:00

OF SADR CITY AND MAMOON,

00:14:02

WOULD I MIND TORCHING A COUPLE MODEL HOMES?

00:14:03

DAD'S JUST TRYING TO KEEP INFORMATION OUT

00:14:05

OF THE HANDS OF THE IRAQIS.

00:14:07

- I HAVE A FEELING HE WAS TRYING TO KEEP INFORMATION OUT OF THE

00:14:09

HANDS OF THE FEDERAL MARSHALS.

00:14:11

- I'M GONNA GO COLLECT MY THINGS AND SAY MY GOOD-BYES.

00:14:12

YOU GUYS CHECK ME OUTTA HERE.

00:14:14

- GOB, YOU'RE AN ENEMY COMBATANT.

00:14:16

IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT EASY. I'LL TALK TO THEM,

00:14:18

BUT YOU MIGHT WANNA PREPARE FOR A LONG STAY.

00:14:27

- OH, SHOOT. I FORGOT TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO YUSEF.

00:14:30

- THAT WAS A LOT EASIER THAN I EXPECTED.

00:14:31

ALMOST TOO EASY.

00:14:33

- WHY AREN'T WE GOING TO THE AIRPORT?

00:14:35

- I WANNA CHECK OUT THIS HOUSE DAD ASKED YOU TO BURN DOWN,

00:14:37

SEE WHAT HE'S HIDING.

00:14:39

I THINK THAT'S IT, SIR. - [throaty vocalization]

00:14:42

- BUSTER, THIS GUY SPEAKS ENGLISH.

00:14:44

- NO. I SWALLOWED A MOTH.

00:14:46

- I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG,

00:14:48

BUT THE CHENEY EXPRESSWAY

00:14:49

WAS BACKED UP ALL THE WAY TO HALLIBURTON DRIVE.

00:14:51

[doorbell rings]

00:14:53

- LET'S SEE WHAT ALL THE MYSTERY'S ABOUT.

00:14:55

[narrator] THAT'S WHEN MICHAEL

00:14:56

FOUND SOMEONE...

00:14:58

THE U.S. GOVERNMENT HAD BEEN ABLE TO DEPOSE.

00:15:00

- HELLO? - TAKE MY PICTURE!

00:15:03

TAKE MY PICTURE! [giggling]

00:15:10

[narrator] MICHAEL WAS IN IRAQ WHEN HE

00:15:11

CAME ACROSS A FAMILIAR FACE.

00:15:14

- [stammering] ARE YOU, UH--

00:15:15

- I AM SADDAM HUSSEIN...

00:15:17

LOOK-ALIKE.

00:15:19

WHO ARE YOU? - I'M MICHAEL BLUTH.

00:15:22

THESE ARE MY BROTHERS BUSTER AND GOB BLUTH.

00:15:24

- BLUTH? IS HE HERE TO FIX THE AIR CONDITIONING?

00:15:28

- ARE YOU BOTH SADDAM HUSSEIN LOOK-ALIKES?

00:15:30

- HARDLY. INVITE THEM IN.

00:15:32

- I AM BEHAVING LIKE AN UDAY LOOK-ALIKE.

00:15:36

COME ON IN. COME ON IN, GUYS.

00:15:38

- I'D ALWAYS HEARD THAT THERE WERE SADDAM HUSSEIN LOOK-ALIKES.

00:15:41

I'M JUST A LITTLE SURPRISED

00:15:42

TO SEE YOU ALL LIVING HERE IN-- IN ONE HOUSE...

00:15:45

THAT LOOKS SO SIMILAR TO OURS.

00:15:47

- SCAR ON THAT ONE DUDE'S FOREHEAD'S GOTTA BE A PROBLEM.

00:15:49

- THAT'S ACHMED.

00:15:50

- NEVER STOP WATCHING THE TRIAL.

00:15:51

WE ARE ALL FOLLOWING IT PRETTY CLOSELY.

00:15:55

- THEY PUT THIS GUY AWAY, YOU GUYS ARE OUT OF A JOB, HUH?

00:15:57

- YES, WE WANTED TO KEEP THE HOUSE FOR JUST

00:15:59

ONE MORE SEASON.

00:16:00

- I HAVE A BABY ON THE WAY.

00:16:02

- I DO A BETTER SADDAM THAN THIS GUY.

00:16:05

MY SADDAM WOULD SHOW HIS TEETH.

00:16:06

- YES, TO CHEW THE SCENERY.

00:16:08

[narrator] SO MICHAEL DECIDED

00:16:09

THE LEAST HE COULD DO...

00:16:11

WAS TAKE A LOOK AT THE AIR CONDITIONING.

00:16:13

BUT BEFORE HE DID, HE DECIDED TO SEE...

00:16:15

IF THERE WAS A SECRET ROOM IN THIS MODEL HOME AS WELL.

00:16:19

AND THAT'S WHEN MICHAEL DISCOVERED THE BOMBSHELL.

00:16:23

[shutter clicks] - BUSTER.

00:16:25

[narrator] BACK AT THE AMERICAN MODEL HOME,

00:16:27

NONE OF THE INVITEES HAD SHOWN UP FOR MAEBY'S PARTY.

00:16:30

- SURPRISE. - THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

00:16:33

SO, DID YOU SEND ONE OF THESE TO EVERYONE

00:16:35

IN MY ADDRESS BOOK?

00:16:37

- YEAH. I'M REALLY SORRY THEY DIDN'T COME.

00:16:39

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. - I DO. THEY FOUND OUT I WAS 16.

00:16:42

[narrator] AND A LOT OF US

00:16:43

JUST DIDN'T WANT TO DRIVE DOWN TO ORANGE COUNTY.

00:16:45

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

00:16:46

- THIS COST ME MY JOB, GEORGE MICHAEL.

00:16:48

I WAS A STUDIO EXECUTIVE. I MADE MOVIES.

00:16:51

- IS THAT WHY YOU'VE BEEN SO STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME?

00:16:53

- HAVE I BEEN?

00:16:55

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M A KID. I'M GONNA START ACTING LIKE ONE.

00:16:57

- WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA DRINK? - DO YOU WANNA JOIN ME?

00:16:59

- I GUESS IF YOU CAN RUN A STUDIO--

00:17:01

[drink pouring]

00:17:02

[narrator] BUT THEY DIDN'T

00:17:04

KNOW IT WAS THE FAKE WINE FROM GOB'S MAGIC SHOW.

00:17:05

- IT'S GOOD.

00:17:06

[narrator] AND BACK IN IRAQ.

00:17:08

- WHAT IS THIS?

00:17:09

- LOOKS LIKE A MID-RANGE NUCLEAR WARHEAD.

00:17:12

IT HAS A RANGE CAPACITY

00:17:14

OF 4,000 TO 5,000 NAUTICAL MILES.

00:17:16

- YOU'VE GOT A PRETTY SOPHISTICATED KNOWLEDGE

00:17:17

OF THIS TECHNOLOGY.

00:17:18

- MY GOD.

00:17:20

IT MAKES ME WANNA HAVE AN ICE CREAM CONE.

00:17:22

DOESN'T THIS MAKE YOU WANNA HAVE AN ICE CREAM CONE?

00:17:23

- IT DOES.

00:17:25

- YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR ICE CREAM IN PRISON.

00:17:27

ICE CREAM SANDWICHES.

00:17:29

C.I.A., UNDERCOVER.

00:17:30

- C.I.A. OF COURSE.

00:17:31

THIS EXPLAINS WHY IT WAS SO EASY

00:17:33

TO GET YOU OUT OF PRISON.

00:17:34

- I KNEW THAT, IF HE GOT OUT, HE WOULD LEAD US...

00:17:36

RIGHT TO WHATEVER YOUR DAD WAS HIDIN'.

00:17:38

[narrator] THEY'D EVEN

00:17:40

CREATED OPPORTUNITIES FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.

00:17:41

- GET IN THE CELL, STUPID. - YOU'RE-- YOU'RE--

00:17:44

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DIDN'T EVEN SHUT THE DOOR.

00:17:45

COME ON!

00:17:48

YEAH. YOU GUYS CAN RUN THIS PLACE WITHOUT US.

00:17:51

AS-- AS-- AS SOON AS YOU STOP DROPPING YOUR KEYS!

00:17:53

COME ON!

00:17:55

[narrator] THEY'D EVEN STAGED SOMETHING

00:17:57

CALLED AN "HONOR MARATHON"...

00:17:59

THEY THOUGHT HE WAS SURE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF.

00:18:01

- COME ON.

00:18:03

- WE'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR W.M.D.'s FOR YEARS.

00:18:05

- W.M.D.'s?

00:18:07

THIS THING IS AS FAKE AS ACHMED'S MUSTACHE. SEE?

00:18:11

- YEAH, LOOK. IT'S A HOMEFILL.

00:18:13

IT'S THE COMPANY

00:18:15

THAT MAKES THE FAKE STUFF WE FILL THE MODEL HOMES WITH.

00:18:17

- WHAT THE HELL?

00:18:18

- WHAT IS THAT, A RECORDING DEVICE?

00:18:20

- THIS IS OUR STUFF. I GOTTA CALL THIS IN.

00:18:22

- BUSTER? PLEASE?

00:18:24

- BAKER. [background: muzak]

00:18:26

IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE C.I.A. EAST.

00:18:27

I'LL CHECK WITH C.I.A. WEST.

00:18:29

DID WE BUG A HOUSE IN MAMOON?

00:18:32

- YEAH.

00:18:33

WE GOT SOME GUY NAMED GEORGE BLUTH...

00:18:35

TO BUILD HOUSES THERE SO WE COULD WIRE THEM.

00:18:37

- [sighs]

00:18:38

- OH, LOOK. I'M UNCLE BUSTER. - [laughing]

00:18:41

- I'M SORRY NO ONE FROM THE FAMILY CAME.

00:18:43

- SOMETIMES I WISH I WASN'T EVEN PART OF THE FAMILY.

00:18:46

- NO, DON'T-- - YES.

00:18:47

- I'VE NEVER WANTED TO SAY THIS, BUT...

00:18:50

YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE RELATED TO US.

00:18:52

- NO?

00:18:54

- 'CAUSE GANGY ONCE SAID TO ME...

00:18:55

YOUR MOM MIGHT NOT HAVE

00:18:56

EVER EVEN BEEN PREGNANT WITH YOU.

00:18:58

- YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

00:19:00

- NO. I'M, UH-- I WOULDN'T.

00:19:02

EVERYONE STILL LOVES YOU.

00:19:06

SOME MORE THAN OTHERS.

00:19:08

[narrator] AND PERHAPS

00:19:09

IT WAS THE FAKE WINE,

00:19:11

BUT THAT WAS THE NIGHT GEORGE MICHAEL AND MAEBY

00:19:13

WENT TO SECOND BASE.

00:19:16

- SO MY DAD WAS A PATSY? [TV: trial continues]

00:19:19

- WE CALL THEM "UNINTENTIONAL OPERATIONS VICTIMS," BUT YES.

00:19:23

WE RAN THE WHOLE OPERATION

00:19:24

THROUGH A BRITISH BUILDING COMPANY.

00:19:26

- THEY CONTACTED MY DAD FOR THE PLANS.

00:19:27

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

00:19:29

AFTER ALL OF THAT, HE WASN'T LYING.

00:19:30

- LOOK, WE FEEL TERRIBLE.

00:19:31

BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY OUR MISTAKE.

00:19:34

BUT I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU GUYS OUT.

00:19:37

TAKE US OUT? - WHAT?

00:19:39

- I COULD REALLY GO FOR SOME ITALIAN.

00:19:40

- THERE IS AN OLIVE GARDEN IN MAMOON.

00:19:42

- I THINK HE MEANS TO SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD.

00:19:45

BUT PLEASE, AT LEAST LET HIM LOOK AT THE AIR CONDITIONING.

00:19:48

- IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT US TALKING,

00:19:49

WE WILL NOT SAY A WORD.

00:19:51

- DON'T BE MAD, BUT I HAVE BEEN SENDING THE PICTURES

00:19:53

FROM MY CELL PHONE TO MY FRIEND.

00:19:54

- NOT NOW, BUSTER.

00:19:56

- HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYING.

00:19:57

YOU HAVE? - UH--

00:19:59

- WELL, WHO KNOWS WHO SHE SENT THEM TO?

00:20:05

- YEAH. YEAH, I GET IT. - HMM?

00:20:09

LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE A HERO, BUSTER.

00:20:10

- WE BOTH ARE.

00:20:13

- WELL--

00:20:15

- OKAY. LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT US.

00:20:16

WHAT CAN THE U.S. GOVERNMENT DO FOR YOU?

00:20:18

- WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME BUSINESS CLASS TICKETS HOME--

00:20:20

AND DIRECT FLIGHTS.

00:20:23

NONE OF THIS STOPPING IN PHOENIX-- [bleep]

00:20:26

- AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, MAYBE WE CAN DROP...

00:20:28

SOME OF THESE TREASON CHARGES AGAINST MY FATHER.

00:20:30

- AND I DO BELIEVE THERE WAS SOME MENTION

00:20:31

OF SOME ICE CREAM.

00:20:34

[narrator] AND SO, WITH OPERATION

00:20:35

HOT BROTHER A SUCCESS,

00:20:37

OUR AMERICAN HEROES LEFT IRAQ.

00:20:40

- TAKE CONDOLEEZZA RICE LANE. IT'S QUICKER.

00:20:43

[narrator] MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

00:20:46

ON THE NEXT ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.

00:20:49

TOBIAS GIVES HIS DAUGHTER THE GIFT HE'D STAYED UP

00:20:51

ALL NIGHT MAKING.

00:20:53

- AND HERE'S A PICTURE OF YOUR MOTHER PREGNANT.

00:20:56

AND HERE'S A WHOLE SERIES

00:20:57

OF YOUR HEAD STARTING TO CROWN.

00:20:59

LOOK AT YOU-- SO FULL OF WONDER AND SHOCK.

00:21:02

YOU STILL DO IT. AND SO DOES HE!

00:21:05

[laughing]

00:21:06

BOY, YOU GUYS REALLY ARE RELATED.

00:21:08

[narrator] AND MICHAEL AND GOB

00:21:10

MAKE AN INTERESTING DISCOVERY.

00:21:11

- [translator on TV] I'M TELLING YOU,

00:21:12

YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY.

00:21:14

THE REAL SADDAM HAS A SCAR ON HIS HEAD.

00:21:16

I'M NO SCAR. I'M NO SCAR. - OH, MY GOD.

00:21:18

DOT-COM.

00:21:19

[translator] DOT-COM.