Home > Arrested Development
Colony Collapse
00:00:15NARRATOR: Hollywood Boulevard at night
00:00:17is the playground of the hip, young and successful.
00:00:21It was into this world that Gob Bluth had finally arrived,
00:00:25surrounded for the first time in his life
00:00:27by a group of admirers
00:00:29that comprised L.A.'s latest young elite.
00:00:33There was Mark, a pop star who had a level of fame
00:00:36he could neither appreciate nor handle.
00:00:40Trout, a Southern boy who had
00:00:42a Northern man's taste in women.
00:00:44J.B.J., a weekend weatherman, all-week party boy
00:00:48and a huge disappointment to his father.
00:00:52Chris K, who was a lot like Trout,
00:00:54but without the accent.
00:00:56Oakwood, a studio teacher,
00:00:58who might have had his own entourage,
00:01:00if his part hadn't been cut
00:01:01from the pilot of Modern Family.
00:01:04And, of course, there was the man they called Getaway.
00:01:08Gob had come far in the year since his girlfriend,
00:01:11was less than an hour from turning 18.
00:01:14Let me run the clock down on this thing.
00:01:15Why don't you just go change into something a little less... unflattering, and... I'll, uh...
00:01:20And he was getting everyone in the mood for romance.
00:01:23Guess I'll take my clothes off.
00:01:24While Ann less-unflattered herself up,
00:01:27Gob had an unexpected visitor--
00:01:29Ann's ex-boyfriend George Michael,
00:01:32who, as it turned out, hadn't completely let go
00:01:35of the relationship.
00:01:37(shrieking)
00:01:38You're lucky that I'm chasing after our girlfriend, or I'd have to flatten you!
00:01:45Whew! Way to plant, Ann.
00:01:46You told me George Michael knew about us.
00:01:48Well, he does now, my darling plant.
00:01:51Ann.
00:01:52And... after I dazzle everyone tonight on the Queen Mary, my magic career will take off as surely as there's a mouse behind your ear.
00:02:01(Ann screams)
00:02:03Well, as surely as there's a mouse behind your ear.
00:02:06(Ann screams)
00:02:11-Mouse behind... -(Ann screams)
00:02:12Okay, you are like the only person I know who doesn't just love magic.
00:02:15A poll would confirm she was far from alone.
00:02:18BEARD: ...for the fifth year in a row,
00:02:20your least favorite entertainers are...
00:02:22magicians.
00:02:23A close second, talk show side-kicks.
00:02:26-Hmph! -(bleep)
00:02:27-you, too, America. -...'cause I quit.
00:02:30Well, you have to make things right with George Michael, otherwise you don't get to fourth base.
00:02:34Of course, Ann's concept of fourth base...
00:02:38...was very different than Gob's.
00:02:41But you have to promise me you'll always be faithful.
00:02:45Faithful? Of course I can be faithful.
00:02:47Until tonight, when we're together, you know...
00:02:49Oh! Until tonight!
00:02:50Well, of course I can be faithful-- don't be stupid.
00:02:53You think I can't keep it in my pants in front of a bunch of doggy old women and my family?
00:02:57Don't be stupid.
00:02:58Who am I gonna hit on, stupid?
00:03:00My sister? Lindsay?
00:03:02Don't be stupid.
00:03:03She's my sister; that's gross.
00:03:05Now... you... have got some mice to scoop out of the sea.
00:03:13Now the story of a family
00:03:15whose future was abruptly canceled,
00:03:18and the one son who had no choice
00:03:20but to keep himself together.
00:03:25It's Gob's Arrested Development.
00:03:30NARRATOR: On the day of the Queen Mary party,
00:03:32Gob remained faithful to Ann,
00:03:34even in the face of tremendous temptation.
00:03:37-Unrelated. -But there would be
00:03:39-(screaming) -no career-making magic show.
00:03:43It seemed the only "her"
00:03:44Gob would be getting off that day
00:03:46was the Queen Mary.
00:03:47But then the Queen changed course,
00:03:49heading back to shore before crashing into the jetty
00:03:51and leaving most of its occupants all wet.
00:03:53I want all of these on the insurance form, okay?
00:03:56These are all part of an act I was going to do.
00:03:58Two drowned white doves, for "flowers to doves."
00:04:00This was a rabbit, for "doves to rabbit"-- also drowned.
00:04:05These were mice...
00:04:06TOBIAS: For "rabbit to mice."
00:04:08No, that can't be done.
00:04:12No, these were part of a something
00:04:13I called "Mice-a-laneous."
00:04:15"Mouse in purse." "Mouse in drink."
00:04:18"Here's a mouse, now it's gone."
00:04:22How'd he do dat?
00:04:24But it was another man that Gob
00:04:25needed to make things right with...
00:04:27George Michael...
00:04:28...if he was ever going to deflower Ann Veal.
00:04:31Uncle Gob.
00:04:33Are we good?
00:04:34(George Michael sighs)
00:04:36(voice breaking): No.
00:04:37No, how could we possibly be?
00:04:40But... but are we, are we good?
00:04:43No! You stole my girlfriend.
00:04:46That's a tough thing, and, you know, sometimes you have to ask yourself: "Are we good?"
00:04:50Is it over between you guys?
00:04:52Oh, no. But are we good?
00:04:53I don't know what you want to hear from me, Uncle Gob.
00:04:56-I mean, yes, we are good... -There it is!
00:04:58There it is!
00:05:00Ah, from a nephew to his uncle, and just the "yes," the much-vaunted "yes," that he gets.
00:05:05Look at you, full of "yes."
00:05:07Look at how much "yes" is in you!
00:05:09I knew it! I knew I'd get that "yes" from you.
00:05:11Look who got a "yes"! Got my "yes."
00:05:12And Gob realized that there was finally nothing
00:05:16standing in the way of a loving,
00:05:18committed relationship with Ann.
00:05:22("The Sound Of Silence" intro playing)
00:05:25♪ Hello, darkness, my old friend ♪
00:05:29♪ I've come to talk with... ♪
00:05:31So, that night, as he broke into her house
00:05:34to break up with her...
00:05:36(startled shout)
00:05:37-(yells) -Gob...!
00:05:40For a second, I thought that was a real guy.
00:05:42So, listen, I talked to George Michael and everything's cool.
00:05:45I need to tell you something, though.
00:05:47I've been doing some thinking and I... I just don't...
00:05:50But as she unzipped her pajamas,
00:05:53it reminded him of past situations
00:05:55which he'd successfully been aroused.
00:05:59Well, I could wait till after.
00:06:03(light switch clicks)
00:06:06And later, Gob once again tried to find a compassionate way
00:06:09to end the relationship.
00:06:10So how did you like your egg?
00:06:12I said you were fine.
00:06:14So, was there something you wanted to talk about when you came in through my window?
00:06:19Gob, what is it?
00:06:23What... what... is it?
00:06:27I... (laughs) You...
00:06:29It's the-the-the-the-the... the-the questions... you ask so many... of these, of these, of these, these-these questions that-that-that-that you keeping asking for me... for-for-for-for... should-should-should... should I, should I, should I?
00:06:51Should-should-should the, should the, should the, should-should the guy, should the guy, should the guy in the... should the guy in the... in the $32... in the $32 pink... bath-bath-bath-bath...
00:07:03Should-should-should-should... should the girl in the $6,000 tuxedo...
00:07:08Gob was uncomfortable with the question.
00:07:10...should-should-should... in the $32... in the $3,400... should the guy, come on... come on...
00:07:15-Let's, let's, let's... -Come on...
00:07:17(sobbing): ...come on, come on...
00:07:18Gob! Calm down!
00:07:20Listen, we had a great night together.
00:07:24I understand if you need your freedom.
00:07:26Well... marry me.
00:07:28Yes, I'll... yes, I'll marry you, Gob!
00:07:31Of course, Gob meant it in the showbizzy way
00:07:34his niece had always used
00:07:35when she was accused of being too young.
00:07:38What, are you, like, 15?
00:07:39-Marry me! -...marry me! -...marry me!
00:07:41-And may I add: marry me. -...marry me.
00:07:42But like many evangelicals, Ann took it literally.
00:07:46I'm getting married!
00:07:48(family screaming happily, laughing)
00:07:52Gob was surrounded by unconditional love
00:07:55from a family, for the first time in his life.
00:08:02("The Sound Of Silence" intro playing)
00:08:05♪ Hello, darkness, my old friend... ♪
00:08:08GOB: I've made a huge mistake.
00:08:14Gob shared his happy news at a meeting with his family.
00:08:18I'm sure Gob helped himself to the money.
00:08:20Hey, I got mouths to feed.
00:08:22Mouths?
00:08:23Mouth.
00:08:25Her.
00:08:26Oh, hey, mouth. I didn't see you sitting there.
00:08:28We rode up in the elevator together.
00:08:31I'm blanking.
00:08:32Yeah, me and Blank are getting the old Christian magic act back together.
00:08:36I mean, you don't expect people to actually believe that I'm Jesus, if I'm walking around in rags.
00:08:40You're resurrecting that mumbo-jumbo?
00:08:42Look, everybody's got a gimmick.
00:08:45Tony Wonder's making a fortune with that gay magician act.
00:08:48Gob's long-time nemesis had come out of the closet
00:08:51and used it to great advantage in his act.
00:08:55Besides, I have to do something for the wedding.
00:08:56MICHAEL: Who's getting married?
00:08:58Her!
00:09:00Who's marrying her?
00:09:01Me.
00:09:03-Did I not open with that? -You sure didn't.
00:09:05Yeah, I'm getting married!
00:09:13(gasping)
00:09:14I didn't want to make a big deal about it.
00:09:16-You haven't. -Well, my wedding's going to be religious-y and epic and expensive, which is why I need more of that stimmy-mummy.
00:09:21Thanks, Mike.
00:09:23And perhaps it was all the talk of spirituality
00:09:26that led to this.
00:09:27(applause)
00:09:29And welcome to
00:09:31And As It Is Such, So Also As Such Is It Unto You.
00:09:35Excuse me, Father Marsala, I hate to interrupt, but I am so excited today.
00:09:40My lovely Ann...
00:09:41-Who? -My daughter.
00:09:44Oh. I didn't know you had a daughter.
00:09:46You've met her several times.
00:09:48Oh.
00:09:49She's sitting right next to you.
00:09:51Oh!
00:09:52That's why she's there.
00:09:54I thought you were Hair.
00:09:55Hair?
00:09:57No, she's my daughter, and she's getting married!
00:10:00To this good man.
00:10:02(applause)
00:10:03Well, and as it is such, so also as such is it unto you, young man.
00:10:06You got it.
00:10:08Unto you, as well... dear f... heavenly fathers.
00:10:11MARSALA: Well, we have a really great show today surrounding the Scriptures...
00:10:14GOB: We have an announcement to make.
00:10:16I have an announcement to make: that we would like to televise our marriage, here on this show.
00:10:22-(applause) -My goodness.
00:10:25Oh, um... we hadn't heard of it.
00:10:27Did you...?
00:10:28Well, no, but that's... no...
00:10:30What an idea. I think...
00:10:32Well, this show is about the spirit of inclusion,
00:10:34-so I would love to say... -Well, great!
00:10:36Then I, too, have an announcement to make!
00:10:38At our wedding, I will be performing one of my famous magical illusions.
00:10:43That once your eyes have beholden it, you will put no god before me, because of its spectacularity.
00:10:52And, of course, I only propose to do this out of love for...
00:10:56ANN: Ann.
00:10:57And... God.
00:11:01Love for and God.
00:11:03Let me pray. Dearest beloved gods...
00:11:07Gob was feeling bolder, which was perhaps why
00:11:10Michael returned home to find this.
00:11:13GOB: And yea, as if to be arisen the third or fourth day with all the magic of Jesus Christ!
00:11:20MICHAEL: Sorry. Wasn't on there too good.
00:11:23-(Gob grunting, groaning) -You okay?
00:11:25Yeah, it's just part of my... illusion for the wedding.
00:11:28Yeah, what's the illusion?
00:11:29That you actually love the bride?
00:11:31Hey... that's good patter.
00:11:34'Cause I need people to root for the Jesus character.
00:11:37I don't remember a biblical passage where Jesus came out of a boulder-- is it in there?
00:11:40Oh, no, no, no, the boulder's my escape plan.
00:11:42They think I'm somewhere else.
00:11:43I'm actually in the boulder.
00:11:44But I didn't come here to talk
00:11:46-about my magic act, Michael. -Okay.
00:11:47I came to ask you to be my best man... slash-assistant.
00:11:52And then we'll walk through the act later, of course.
00:11:54-I mean, not now. -No, we're not going to,
00:11:56'cause you know, I'm out of the family.
00:11:58Did you not get that when I announced it over at Mom's place?
00:12:01I feel like I was out of the room at that point.
00:12:03I am done with this family.
00:12:04I hope you've saved some money 'cause you...
00:12:07♪ Hello, darkness, my old friend... ♪
00:12:09MICHAEL: Well, the gist of it was:
00:12:11"You know what? I'm done with this family.
00:12:13"I hope you saved your money 'cause you're going to need every last dime now."
00:12:17Maybe you could be a centurion, kind of standing over where they think that I'll be.
00:12:20I'm not going to be in the act.
00:12:22Might be a great promotion for the Bluth Company.
00:12:23No, Bluth Company's done.
00:12:25I started my own company: Michael B. Company.
00:12:27I have a bee company.
00:12:28You stole my idea?
00:12:29Uh-uh, I did not steal your...
00:12:31We sell... It would take hours.
00:12:33How's that going, by the way?
00:12:35Uh, not so good.
00:12:37I've been keeping the bees in my apartment.
00:12:38I was using my magic smoke on them.
00:12:41And my bees are dropping like flies, and I need them to fly like bees.
00:12:44And so I've got them out at a bee hospital, which is not cheap, which is another reason
00:12:47I need to be a famous magician.
00:12:48Yeah, well, listen, you're with my son's ex, so I can't support the wedding.
00:12:52What if I don't actually get married?
00:12:56I don't think you'd need a best man, then, right?
00:12:58No, I guess, at that point, it'd really be more... assistant.
00:13:02Is this an escape act?
00:13:03-Are you running again? -What do you want from me?
00:13:05Marriage is a lot of pressure, and she's not into it.
00:13:08Meanwhile, I'm working out like crazy, my diet has become insane, and this Jesus character-- I mean, he was shredded.
00:13:15Meanwhile, we have sex one time, and then she's just, you know, over it.
00:13:20Lets herself go.
00:13:21Her stomach's out to here.
00:13:24You know, your whole life is an escape act, and this girl seems like she really likes you.
00:13:30Why don't you just try to work it out and just stop running...?
00:13:37Yeah, I know you're in the boulder.
00:13:39GOB: But how'd I get in the boulder?
00:13:41NARRATOR: And on the day of the wedding,
00:13:42even though Gob didn't take it seriously,
00:13:45he was a little hurt to discover
00:13:47no one else in his family did, either.
00:13:50ANN: I know it's bad luck for you to see me in my gown before the wedding.
00:13:56Well, hopefully I haven't.
00:13:58You're angry.
00:13:59Why? Because none of my family has shown up and the only person I recognize out there is Tony Wonder, who's only shown up hoping that I'd fail?
00:14:06I don't know what your surprise trick is, but...
00:14:09I know it's going to be great.
00:14:11And as for your family... you have a new family now.
00:14:15(chuckles)
00:14:18I don't want these.
00:14:21-Tobias! -Gob.
00:14:23-Thanks for coming. -Oh, how could I not?
00:14:25I'm playing Roman Centurion Number Two.
00:14:27-What are you playing? -I'm the groom.
00:14:30I didn't know there was a groom part.
00:14:31You know, Betty at And As It Is Such,
00:14:33So Also As Such Is It Unto You casting told me this was all biblical.
00:14:37Wait, you're not here for the wedding?
00:14:38Well, thank you very much for your vote of confidence.
00:14:42I'll have you know I've worked for the Miracle Network a number of times.
00:14:45ANNOUNCER: Coming up next:
00:14:46Father Marsala's searing docudrama,
00:14:49Father Marsala's John the Baptist.
00:14:51Then the antiabortion drama,
00:14:53Embryo Dan: It Would Have Been a Wonderful Life.
00:14:57And later, break out the bagels.
00:14:59It's time for Father M's lighthearted comedy,
00:15:02-A Jew Came to Dinner. -TOBIAS: I hate to be
00:15:04the guy who quotes his own reviews, but His Word magazine... called my Jew "pitiful."
00:15:12NARRATOR: But soon,
00:15:13the wedding began.
00:15:14PASTOR VEAL: So, it truly is a blessed day.
00:15:16I believe that we are all blessed, uh, to be gathering here at the Church of the Holy Eternal Rapture.
00:15:23Uh, we have almost arrived at that glorious moment where we join together these two very special people, but first, my almost son-in-law has something he'd like to share with all of us, so, um... ladies and gentlemen, uh, please enjoy a magical... uh, trick.
00:15:51Thanks for that killer intro.
00:15:56It's true, this is a magical trick.
00:15:58If what Jesus did was a trick.
00:16:02(crowd gasping)
00:16:04I say it wasn't.
00:16:05(laughter, applause)
00:16:10It was an illusion.
00:16:11(crowd gasping softly)
00:16:13TOBIAS: Ooh, they did not like that one.
00:16:16I don't take notes from you, Centurion Number Two.
00:16:19Just turn this thing around.
00:16:23I am not the real Jesus.
00:16:31I am the Amazing Jesus!
00:16:37No? I thought that that would be up your... alley.
00:16:41Yes, the real Jesus came off the cross and went into his cave... a dead man.
00:16:49NARRATOR: And Gob's escape boulder
00:16:50was wheeled up to the trick.
00:16:52But was he crazy enough to do it... handcuffed?
00:16:55Handcuff the King of the Jews!
00:16:58GOB: You don't have words here...
00:17:00Pastor Veal, if you don't mind, please go up into the cave and assure everyone that there's no way to escape: no trapdoors, no secret compartments, no way to get out.
00:17:10Thank you very...
00:17:11Pastor Veal, let me remind you that you are in a church in front of your daughter, your congregation, God.
00:17:18You cannot tell a lie.
00:17:21Right, nothing out of the ordinary?
00:17:27-No, I-I didn't see anything. -Yes.
00:17:29Jesus went into the cave, and he arose three days later.
00:17:34But I'm not going to lock myself in the cave for three days before this wedding ceremony.
00:17:38No, no. No, no, no.
00:17:41I plan on beating his record by two full weeks!
00:17:45(dramatic music playing)
00:18:05Into the cave with you!
00:18:08GOB: No, I said don't underline the "you" in that.
00:18:10NARRATOR: Unfortunately, Gob was not able to open
00:18:12the secret compartment that contained the handcuff key.
00:18:15It's not going to work. Okay, uh, this isn't going to work.
00:18:17Let's do... let's do mouse in drink.
00:18:19Let's do mouse in drink. Just get these people some drinks. We'll just get a mouse.
00:18:22No, no, no. No, no, no, you know not what you do!
00:18:24But it very clearly said in the centurions' script
00:18:28to ignore the magician's protests,
00:18:31which meant that, still handcuffed...
00:18:33But if my hands are handcuffed, I'll never...
00:18:35...Gob was unable to break his fall
00:18:37and was therefore knocked unconscious.
00:18:38And as the Gob dummy
00:18:41was sealed inside the cave,
00:18:43the real Gob's fate was sealed, as well.
00:18:50Well, I guess... we'll wait two weeks...
00:18:57...and see if he's in there.
00:18:59Is that okay with you, Ann?
00:19:02He's not coming back.
00:19:06NARRATOR: Gob was stuck inside a fake boulder in
00:19:09-the parking lot of a church, -GOB (weakly): Hey, kids.
00:19:11while inside the church, the daily routine
00:19:13-proceeded as usual -I-18.
00:19:16-and the anticipation grew to a fevered pitch. -I-18.
00:19:1911 exciting days, um, although nothing's really happened.
00:19:25Day 11.
00:19:26Once he gets out, it's going to be a beautiful, beautiful wedding.
00:19:31He's not coming back.
00:19:33But it was Betty from And As It Is Such,
00:19:36So Also As Such Is It Unto You that would render Gob's
00:19:38-escape act a disaster. -You got to get rid of this thing.
00:19:40-I got Mrs. Murray's trailer here. -I guess, if he comes back from the dead, we could just get a stepladder.
00:19:45-Guys, this, too. -And a hoarse,
00:19:46weakened Gob was unable to stop them
00:19:49as the boulder was shipped to a storage unit in Tustin.
00:19:53Although a keen eye could see
00:19:55that Gob was alive but not well.
00:19:58And that's why this particular chair was empty
00:20:01at the trial of Lucille Bluth.
00:20:03Well, I can't thank you all enough for returning...
00:20:05At the end of two weeks, the big day
00:20:07-finally arrived... again. -So let's count down.
00:20:08Let's have some fun, uh, from five, four...
00:20:11-three, two, one. -The dead will walk amongst us.
00:20:15No, he shan't, for he-eth not here.
00:20:18-I knew it. -TOBIAS: Oh, there's a note.
00:20:21"If I have not yet returned, I am in the Rapture."
00:20:25Oh, and then it says, "Love each other."
00:20:29MRS. VEAL: What does he think we've been doing?
00:20:31I loaned him $1,000.
00:20:33Gob didn't fare much better than the bride,
00:20:36finally being discovered on an episode
00:20:38of the auction reality show...
00:20:42MAN: Moment of truth, people.
00:20:45It's a masker.
00:20:47Jesus, there's a man in there.
00:20:49(auctioneer coughing, speaking indistinctly)
00:20:51-Let's get the bidding started at a hundred dollars. Anybody?
00:20:52-(hissing) -Nope.
00:20:55He's hissing.
00:20:59NARRATOR: After a week in the hospital,
00:21:01Gob was happy to finally see a familiar shape.
00:21:04You humiliated me.
00:21:06You made a mockery of my religion and you ruined our wedding.
00:21:09Our first fight, and like all fights, you're a little right, I'm a little right.
00:21:14I sold your cave on Craigslist.
00:21:16So it was all worth it.
00:21:18We have money to start our life together.
00:21:21Now we have our nest, egg-- Ann.
00:21:25Now we have our, our nest, Ann.
00:21:29I'm leaving you, Gob.
00:21:31I don't love you anymore.
00:21:33I feel sorry for you, and you're gonna be alone forever unless you let the Holy Ghost inside you.
00:21:39(laughing): The, the Holy...
00:21:43(stammering)
00:21:50You know what? I hope you read this.
00:21:53NARRATOR: And maybe it was the fact that he had nothing
00:21:56in his system but two weeks of candy vines,
00:21:59but it did get through to him.
00:22:01Steve.
00:22:02It's me. Uh, I-I wanted to let you know that I am... I'm-I'm ready to... to... to... let the son of Gob enfold me.
00:22:14Have you been to the club And, owned by Jeremy "Pivan"?
00:22:19I'm gonna be there tonight about 8:00.
00:22:20Maybe you could join me, I don't...
00:22:22Obviously it's, it's me, your fa...
00:22:24(beep)
00:22:27Nah, he got it.
00:22:28Okay.
00:22:31NARRATOR: Gob was waiting to meet his son
00:22:33at a bar and feeling a little vulnerable.
00:22:35Lost my wife, lost my career.
00:22:36When I was in that storage unit at the bottom of that rock, it was like I hit...
00:22:41-Rock bottom? -No, no, not that.
00:22:42More like a trending downward moment that just-- I don't know.
00:22:47Maybe I'm being tested like that guy "Jawb" from the Bible.
00:22:50-(pronounces correctly): Job. -Yes?
00:22:52Job.
00:22:53Yes, sir.
00:22:54-Job. -Yeah.
00:22:56-Look, I, I feel sorry for you, Pops. -Hey, pal,
00:22:58I'm not that much older than you, guy.
00:23:00-(chuckles) -Nah, I'm just here, I'm looking for my son.
00:23:02I'm trying to get some cash out of him, actually.
00:23:04You, you have another son?
00:23:07(Steve laughing)
00:23:08I have a brother?
00:23:10Oh, man.
00:23:11Yes, Steve.
00:23:14Yeah.
00:23:15-What's his name? -Dave.
00:23:17Oh, Dave Holt.
00:23:19-Yeah, Dave Holt. -Yes.
00:23:21NARRATOR: Yes, Gob had been speaking to his son
00:23:22for an hour and a half.
00:23:24-Wait, your mom's name is Eve? -Yeah.
00:23:26God, I (bleep) a chick named Eve once.
00:23:28Biggest mistake of my life.
00:23:30NARRATOR: And perhaps it was because
00:23:32Gob was inadvertently so warm
00:23:34to his son that Steve
00:23:36-offered him a job. -I don't even really have a job.
00:23:37Would you want to come work with me?
00:23:39I mean, I...
00:23:41Are you serious?
00:23:42I mean, I'm in pest control, but father and son.
00:23:46What a great team.
00:23:47It would be a great team.
00:23:49I mean, I don't care.
00:23:50Pest control-- I don't know.
00:23:51As long as I'm not being a pest to you, right?
00:23:53-No, never. -I mean, I'm kidding.
00:23:55(Gob mumbling)
00:23:59Where is your place of business?
00:24:01-181... -181...
00:24:03-Manville. -Manville.
00:24:05Manville.
00:24:06What time do you start this pest control?
00:24:097:00 a.m.
00:24:11Then I'll be there at 6:45 with two cups of coffee.
00:24:14Oh, Dad, this is the greatest day of my life.
00:24:18No, this is the greatest day of my life.
00:24:21And perhaps it was because it was such a great day...
00:24:23-6:45. -6:45. -...that Gob decided to stay at the bar...
00:24:25-6:45. -...and show off a little.
00:24:27I bet it's been a long time since you've seen your...
00:24:33-...cherry. -I have lupus.
00:24:34(spits) Could have warned a guy.
00:24:36But showing off did catch the attention of someone.
00:24:38That was the real deal, huh?
00:24:40How about this?
00:24:41How about you do that cherry trick for my boy Mark Cherry?
00:24:44Mark Cherry the baby-faced singer or Marc Cherry the baby-faced showrunner?
00:24:47Baby-faced singer-- right over there, man.
00:24:49He has loved magic ever since he was a kid.
00:24:52NARRATOR: Which was two years earlier, when Mark Cherry was
00:24:54the star of a cable teen sitcom called
00:24:57Pop-A-ROTC, created by a longtime writing veteran
00:25:00of the TV show Cheers.
00:25:02Soon, Mark Cherry became
00:25:05a pop sensation off his cowritten hit single
00:25:08"Practice Kisses."
00:25:10JOHN JR.: I found a gentleman who is about
00:25:12-to do a magic trick for you. -No, it's an illusion.
00:25:14A trick is something a whore does for...
00:25:17Do a trick and I'll pay for your bar tab.
00:25:19-Who wants a trick? -ALL: Yeah!
00:25:20(all cheering)
00:25:22NARRATOR: Gob had them in the palm of his hand.
00:25:24He even got the attention
00:25:27-of a still out-of-control Rebel Alley... -Do it again.
00:25:29-I missed it. -...who was there doing research
00:25:31-for an upcoming PSA... -Fireball!
00:25:34...she'd soon be required to do by law.
00:25:36Fire, fire!
00:25:37Never yell "fire" in a crowded place.
00:25:39It's never funny.
00:25:41That's always funny.
00:25:42NARRATOR: And she was intrigued by this magical man.
00:25:44-Oh... -Whoa.
00:25:46That is a David Spade.
00:25:48(clears throat) Check your purse.
00:25:50(gasping)
00:25:51-(Gob chuckles) -Nice.
00:25:55Oh, man, paparazzo.
00:25:56Oh, shoot, great.
00:25:57The last thing I need is to be seen partying with some tweens.
00:25:59I'm trying to clean up my act.
00:26:01Dude, network's gonna flip if there's another drunk photo of you.
00:26:05-I know. -We got to get you away
00:26:06-from this place, okay? -Getting away is kind of my specialty.
00:26:10I'll have us out of here in a flash.
00:26:13All right.
00:26:15Let's get out of here while they still got lighter fluid
00:26:17-in their eyes. -Go, baby.
00:26:19(all laughing)
00:26:21-Oh, man. -Oh...
00:26:22Nice moves, Getaway.
00:26:24Oh.
00:26:25Okay.
00:26:27NARRATOR: Gob had been accepted into the group,
00:26:29which was bad news for Cherry's
00:26:31business manager's son Josh Abramson.
00:26:35Gob actually did
00:26:36end up driving down Manville
00:26:38-at 6:45 a.m. -This is it! This is...
00:26:40I'll be with you in a second, I'll be right there.
00:26:42Start without me, just start without me.
00:26:43Don't worry!
00:26:44He's not coming back.
00:26:49NARRATOR: Gob was living the dream,
00:26:51and felt like he was in the center of the entourage,
00:26:54even though he was three away from the center at the closest,
00:26:58and it was pop star Mark Cherry's dream.
00:27:03Hey, I'm with, with the guys.
00:27:07Keep the limo running, Getaway.
00:27:10That's my job.
00:27:12(siren chirps)
00:27:14NARRATOR: The next few months were a blur of partying...
00:27:16(shouting)
00:27:17...and shame.
00:27:19(shouting and laughter)
00:27:22But Gob had a trick
00:27:23for helping him forget the shame.
00:27:28Unfortunately it also helped him forget
00:27:30that he tried to forget the shame...
00:27:33-Hey, remember me? -and soon Gob found himself experiencing...
00:27:36Hey, I'm having myself a little bit of a...
00:27:37what, on the street, is referred to...
00:27:40-...empty bottle situation. -...as a roofie circle...
00:27:42-I won't forget this. -...whereby a roofie
00:27:44is taken the day after a degrading event...
00:27:48...too late to erase the memory of the degrading event itself
00:27:54but not too late to erase the prior day's attempt
00:27:57to erase the event.
00:27:58(whistles)
00:28:01-Thus, with no memory of taking the roofie... - Hey, remember me?
00:28:04-...but the memory of the event very much alive.. - Been a while.
00:28:07Oh, I should grab a, uh... oh.
00:28:09...the victim of the roofie circle finds himself
00:28:12constantly trying to re-erase the memory...
00:28:14What's with the scary guy?
00:28:16-(speaking Spanish) -Céllate.
00:28:18...but only succeeds in erasing the memory
00:28:21of the attempt to erase the memory.
00:28:24Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months...
00:28:26(laughs) What's with all the Christmas decorations?
00:28:31And what begins in shame...
00:28:34-Hey, remember me? -No, no més, no més.
00:28:37-...almost always ends... -You remember me?
00:28:40-You remember me? -...in a Mexican hospital...
00:28:41-Remember me? -...with stage-four syphilis.
00:28:44(groans)
00:28:46Gob was also wearing out his welcome
00:28:48with Mark and the other hangers-on.
00:28:50See, told you I knew him.
00:28:52Can I get a picture with him to show my five-year-old?
00:28:54You have a five-year-old?
00:28:56My granddaughter.
00:28:57-Oh, yeah, right. -Thank you.
00:29:01-The hell? -Run, run, run.
00:29:04NARRATOR: And perhaps it was this incident...
00:29:06-(bleep) Getaway. -...that inspired Mark Cherry
00:29:09to actually write a song about Gob.
00:29:11♪ Go away, Getaway, stay away, Getaway... ♪
00:29:13NARRATOR: But the lyrics were too subtle for Gob to notice.
00:29:16I know guys just like that.
00:29:17NARRATOR: And as his life in the Malibu colony
00:29:19was falling apart, he got a call
00:29:21that his bee colony wasn't doing much better
00:29:25from a very much alive Johnny Bark.
00:29:27They're sick. They're going to collapse the whole colony.
00:29:29You tell him about the sick bees?
00:29:31Jesus, I just said that!
00:29:33NARRATOR: And Gob returned just in time
00:29:34to catch his friends going out
00:29:36for the evening without him.
00:29:37Guys, hurry before he sees us. Come on.
00:29:39Hey, guys, where we going?
00:29:41I-I-I'll drive, I just got to put my sick bees in the trunk.
00:29:43NARRATOR: And perhaps this was the moment
00:29:45that Gob could sense the tide was turning.
00:29:48It's my fault, guys. I made a mistake.
00:29:52(bee buzzing)
00:29:54NARRATOR: In an effort to remain popular with the gang,
00:29:56Gob stopped in front of a club to pick up some women.
00:29:59GOB: Who wants to party with Mark Cherry?
00:30:02Uh, me, me, me...
00:30:04That's one forget-me-now saved, huh, fellas?
00:30:06Oh, looks like we got a real live one, and by alive, I mean barely alive.
00:30:12(clamoring)
00:30:13-Take off your... -Clothes.
00:30:15-Take off your... -Clothes.
00:30:17We're having a good time.
00:30:18We are having a great time.
00:30:20-MARK: Hey, Getaway. -Yeah.
00:30:21You know what'd be really cool?
00:30:23If you shut the partition.
00:30:24It'd be like, uh, like a joke, like you're our limo driver...
00:30:27That would be hilarious, right?
00:30:29"Oh, yes, very good, sir, very good."
00:30:34Right?
00:30:35Be like, "I'm... I'm just driving the queen of England," but we're still-- we're taking our clothes off.
00:30:40But perhaps if they had not excluded Gob...
00:30:41DEBRIE: You guys have anything harder?
00:30:42...he could have prevented this from happening.
00:30:44Like, what's in here? You have the good stash in here?
00:30:47What are you talking about?
00:30:48(bees buzzing)
00:30:49(all screaming)
00:30:54"A lot of traffic out here today, Miss Daisy."
00:30:59(screaming, bees buzzing)
00:31:02♪ Go away, Getaway, stay away, Getaway... ♪
00:31:05NARRATOR: On the plus side,
00:31:06Gob's bees were feeling good enough to sting again.
00:31:09I see this boat and I'm like, "Those are police boats," so, anyway, I'm running around and I said, "It's not a trick, it's an illusion..."
00:31:16To the entourage, the evening was a complete disaster.
00:31:18Drunken, sick and covered with bee stings,
00:31:22they had truly hit bottom.
00:31:25(chuckles)
00:31:26For Gob, however, it was an amazing night,
00:31:29and he couldn't wait to forget it.
00:31:31Hmm, hmm.
00:31:33Fun night.
00:31:35(laughs)
00:31:36A... fun night.
00:31:46Fun night. (chuckles)
00:31:48NARRATOR: The next day, Getaway awoke
00:31:50without a care in the world and snuck to the front door,
00:31:53trying not to arouse the gang
00:31:55he assumed would be blissfully sleeping it off all day.
00:32:00-Wake up! -But Gob had slept through
00:32:02the seven ambulances that had arrived
00:32:04after Josh Abramson had swung by to pick up an old computer.
00:32:18Nonetheless, later that evening,
00:32:19Gob arrived early at the Opies, an award show
00:32:23that honored youth in Hollywood, to make sure
00:32:25that Mark Cherry would be well taken care of...
00:32:27Where's the coconut shrimp?
00:32:29...before he was scheduled to perform.
00:32:30Hey, come on, my guys love coconut shrimp, especially if they can get it with a little bit of club...
00:32:36NARRATOR: It was then that Gob noticed
00:32:37the presence of a competitor from his past.
00:32:40T.W.
00:32:42Tony Wonder.
00:32:43NARRATOR: Gob realized that where there was glitter,
00:32:45there must also be Tony Wonder...
00:32:48and that's when Gob decided
00:32:50to take advantage of an unexpected diversion
00:32:53and have a little fun by wedging shut
00:32:55a panel on the podium he knew Tony Wonder
00:32:58would pop out of.
00:33:03You guys want to see a real failed magician?
00:33:04You might want to get down to the Opies tonight.
00:33:06It's going to be hysterical.
00:33:08NARRATOR: And that's when Gob found out that Mark Cherry
00:33:10had checked into rehab.
00:33:12Well, come on, you guys, I mean, it's just...
00:33:14A little alcohol poisoning never killed anyone.
00:33:18NARRATOR: Actually, alcohol poisoning is responsible
00:33:20for over 4,000 deaths a year.
00:33:22Binge drinking-- not cool.
00:33:24Well, that's a drag. I thought we were friends.
00:33:26NARRATOR: But, of course, they weren't.
00:33:28MORT: But Schnoodle's coming out now, too,
00:33:29-just like Tony Wonder. -And that's when he saw
00:33:31Tony Wonder come out of a speaker.
00:33:33TONY: I'm here, I'm queer.
00:33:37And now I'm in a speaker.
00:33:40-MORT: No one can stop us. -(explosion)
00:33:42NARRATOR: It was in that pivotal moment
00:33:43that Gob realized he had lost his fiancíe,
00:33:46his career, his family and his entourage.
00:33:50I have no one in my life who cares for me.
00:33:53("The Sound of Silence" intro playing)
00:33:54♪ Hello, darkness... ♪
00:33:56♪ Go away, Getaway, stay away, Getaway... ♪
00:34:00Great, and now my boss is on my ass.
00:34:08♪ Get away, Getaway... ♪
00:34:11NARRATOR: Gob nurses the loss of his new family
00:34:13when he gets a call from his old one.
00:34:15This is Gob.
00:34:16LUCILLE (over phone): It's your mother.
00:34:17We're going to plan "B."
00:34:18Go see your father in the desert.
00:34:20He wants you to prepare to be president
00:34:22-of the Bluth Company. -Yes, finally.
00:34:24I will not disappoint you, Mom.
00:34:25I am the perfect person to look out for this family.
00:34:29-(horn honks) -Whoa.
00:34:32♪ Hey, I met a girl today... ♪
00:34:34♪ Get away, Getaway... ♪
00:34:36NARRATOR: And after collapsing yet another colony,
00:34:38Gob makes a startling discovery...
00:34:42My cave.
00:34:43...and decides to investigate...
00:34:46Why didn't you open?
00:34:48...only to discover that someone had wedged shut
00:34:50his secret compartment
00:34:52on the day he deserted his Christian bride.
00:34:54"T."
00:34:56Tony Wonder.
00:34:59Tony Wonder.