Home > Arrested Development

Colony Collapse

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NARRATOR: Hollywood Boulevard at night

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is the playground of the hip, young and successful.

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It was into this world that Gob Bluth had finally arrived,

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surrounded for the first time in his life

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by a group of admirers

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that comprised L.A.'s latest young elite.

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There was Mark, a pop star who had a level of fame

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he could neither appreciate nor handle.

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Trout, a Southern boy who had

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a Northern man's taste in women.

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J.B.J., a weekend weatherman, all-week party boy

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and a huge disappointment to his father.

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Chris K, who was a lot like Trout,

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but without the accent.

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Oakwood, a studio teacher,

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who might have had his own entourage,

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if his part hadn't been cut

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from the pilot of Modern Family.

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And, of course, there was the man they called Getaway.

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Gob had come far in the year since his girlfriend,

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was less than an hour from turning 18.

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Let me run the clock down on this thing.

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Why don't you just go change into something a little less... unflattering, and... I'll, uh...

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And he was getting everyone in the mood for romance.

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Guess I'll take my clothes off.

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While Ann less-unflattered herself up,

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Gob had an unexpected visitor--

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Ann's ex-boyfriend George Michael,

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who, as it turned out, hadn't completely let go

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of the relationship.

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(shrieking)

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You're lucky that I'm chasing after our girlfriend, or I'd have to flatten you!

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Whew! Way to plant, Ann.

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You told me George Michael knew about us.

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Well, he does now, my darling plant.

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Ann.

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And... after I dazzle everyone tonight on the Queen Mary, my magic career will take off as surely as there's a mouse behind your ear.

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(Ann screams)

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Well, as surely as there's a mouse behind your ear.

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(Ann screams)

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-Mouse behind... -(Ann screams)

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Okay, you are like the only person I know who doesn't just love magic.

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A poll would confirm she was far from alone.

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BEARD: ...for the fifth year in a row,

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your least favorite entertainers are...

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magicians.

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A close second, talk show side-kicks.

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-Hmph! -(bleep)

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-you, too, America. -...'cause I quit.

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Well, you have to make things right with George Michael, otherwise you don't get to fourth base.

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Of course, Ann's concept of fourth base...

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...was very different than Gob's.

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But you have to promise me you'll always be faithful.

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Faithful? Of course I can be faithful.

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Until tonight, when we're together, you know...

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Oh! Until tonight!

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Well, of course I can be faithful-- don't be stupid.

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You think I can't keep it in my pants in front of a bunch of doggy old women and my family?

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Don't be stupid.

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Who am I gonna hit on, stupid?

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My sister? Lindsay?

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Don't be stupid.

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She's my sister; that's gross.

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Now... you... have got some mice to scoop out of the sea.

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Now the story of a family

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whose future was abruptly canceled,

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and the one son who had no choice

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but to keep himself together.

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It's Gob's Arrested Development.

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NARRATOR: On the day of the Queen Mary party,

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Gob remained faithful to Ann,

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even in the face of tremendous temptation.

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-Unrelated. -But there would be

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-(screaming) -no career-making magic show.

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It seemed the only "her"

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Gob would be getting off that day

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was the Queen Mary.

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But then the Queen changed course,

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heading back to shore before crashing into the jetty

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and leaving most of its occupants all wet.

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I want all of these on the insurance form, okay?

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These are all part of an act I was going to do.

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Two drowned white doves, for "flowers to doves."

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This was a rabbit, for "doves to rabbit"-- also drowned.

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These were mice...

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TOBIAS: For "rabbit to mice."

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No, that can't be done.

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No, these were part of a something

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I called "Mice-a-laneous."

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"Mouse in purse." "Mouse in drink."

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"Here's a mouse, now it's gone."

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How'd he do dat?

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But it was another man that Gob

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needed to make things right with...

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George Michael...

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...if he was ever going to deflower Ann Veal.

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Uncle Gob.

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Are we good?

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(George Michael sighs)

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(voice breaking): No.

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No, how could we possibly be?

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But... but are we, are we good?

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No! You stole my girlfriend.

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That's a tough thing, and, you know, sometimes you have to ask yourself: "Are we good?"

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Is it over between you guys?

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Oh, no. But are we good?

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I don't know what you want to hear from me, Uncle Gob.

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-I mean, yes, we are good... -There it is!

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There it is!

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Ah, from a nephew to his uncle, and just the "yes," the much-vaunted "yes," that he gets.

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Look at you, full of "yes."

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Look at how much "yes" is in you!

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I knew it! I knew I'd get that "yes" from you.

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Look who got a "yes"! Got my "yes."

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And Gob realized that there was finally nothing

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standing in the way of a loving,

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committed relationship with Ann.

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("The Sound Of Silence" intro playing)

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♪ Hello, darkness, my old friend ♪

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♪ I've come to talk with... ♪

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So, that night, as he broke into her house

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to break up with her...

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(startled shout)

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-(yells) -Gob...!

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For a second, I thought that was a real guy.

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So, listen, I talked to George Michael and everything's cool.

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I need to tell you something, though.

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I've been doing some thinking and I... I just don't...

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But as she unzipped her pajamas,

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it reminded him of past situations

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which he'd successfully been aroused.

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Well, I could wait till after.

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(light switch clicks)

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And later, Gob once again tried to find a compassionate way

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to end the relationship.

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So how did you like your egg?

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I said you were fine.

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So, was there something you wanted to talk about when you came in through my window?

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Gob, what is it?

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What... what... is it?

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I... (laughs) You...

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It's the-the-the-the-the... the-the questions... you ask so many... of these, of these, of these, these-these questions that-that-that-that you keeping asking for me... for-for-for-for... should-should-should... should I, should I, should I?

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Should-should-should the, should the, should the, should-should the guy, should the guy, should the guy in the... should the guy in the... in the $32... in the $32 pink... bath-bath-bath-bath...

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Should-should-should-should... should the girl in the $6,000 tuxedo...

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Gob was uncomfortable with the question.

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...should-should-should... in the $32... in the $3,400... should the guy, come on... come on...

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-Let's, let's, let's... -Come on...

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(sobbing): ...come on, come on...

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Gob! Calm down!

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Listen, we had a great night together.

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I understand if you need your freedom.

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Well... marry me.

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Yes, I'll... yes, I'll marry you, Gob!

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Of course, Gob meant it in the showbizzy way

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his niece had always used

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when she was accused of being too young.

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What, are you, like, 15?

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-Marry me! -...marry me! -...marry me!

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-And may I add: marry me. -...marry me.

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But like many evangelicals, Ann took it literally.

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I'm getting married!

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(family screaming happily, laughing)

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Gob was surrounded by unconditional love

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from a family, for the first time in his life.

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("The Sound Of Silence" intro playing)

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♪ Hello, darkness, my old friend... ♪

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GOB: I've made a huge mistake.

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Gob shared his happy news at a meeting with his family.

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I'm sure Gob helped himself to the money.

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Hey, I got mouths to feed.

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Mouths?

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Mouth.

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Her.

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Oh, hey, mouth. I didn't see you sitting there.

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We rode up in the elevator together.

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I'm blanking.

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Yeah, me and Blank are getting the old Christian magic act back together.

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I mean, you don't expect people to actually believe that I'm Jesus, if I'm walking around in rags.

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You're resurrecting that mumbo-jumbo?

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Look, everybody's got a gimmick.

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Tony Wonder's making a fortune with that gay magician act.

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Gob's long-time nemesis had come out of the closet

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and used it to great advantage in his act.

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Besides, I have to do something for the wedding.

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MICHAEL: Who's getting married?

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Her!

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Who's marrying her?

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Me.

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-Did I not open with that? -You sure didn't.

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Yeah, I'm getting married!

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(gasping)

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I didn't want to make a big deal about it.

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-You haven't. -Well, my wedding's going to be religious-y and epic and expensive, which is why I need more of that stimmy-mummy.

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Thanks, Mike.

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And perhaps it was all the talk of spirituality

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that led to this.

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(applause)

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And welcome to

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And As It Is Such, So Also As Such Is It Unto You.

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Excuse me, Father Marsala, I hate to interrupt, but I am so excited today.

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My lovely Ann...

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-Who? -My daughter.

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Oh. I didn't know you had a daughter.

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You've met her several times.

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Oh.

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She's sitting right next to you.

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Oh!

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That's why she's there.

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I thought you were Hair.

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Hair?

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No, she's my daughter, and she's getting married!

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To this good man.

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(applause)

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Well, and as it is such, so also as such is it unto you, young man.

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You got it.

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Unto you, as well... dear f... heavenly fathers.

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MARSALA: Well, we have a really great show today surrounding the Scriptures...

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GOB: We have an announcement to make.

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I have an announcement to make: that we would like to televise our marriage, here on this show.

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-(applause) -My goodness.

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Oh, um... we hadn't heard of it.

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Did you...?

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Well, no, but that's... no...

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What an idea. I think...

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Well, this show is about the spirit of inclusion,

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-so I would love to say... -Well, great!

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Then I, too, have an announcement to make!

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At our wedding, I will be performing one of my famous magical illusions.

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That once your eyes have beholden it, you will put no god before me, because of its spectacularity.

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And, of course, I only propose to do this out of love for...

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ANN: Ann.

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And... God.

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Love for and God.

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Let me pray. Dearest beloved gods...

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Gob was feeling bolder, which was perhaps why

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Michael returned home to find this.

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GOB: And yea, as if to be arisen the third or fourth day with all the magic of Jesus Christ!

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MICHAEL: Sorry. Wasn't on there too good.

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-(Gob grunting, groaning) -You okay?

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Yeah, it's just part of my... illusion for the wedding.

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Yeah, what's the illusion?

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That you actually love the bride?

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Hey... that's good patter.

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'Cause I need people to root for the Jesus character.

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I don't remember a biblical passage where Jesus came out of a boulder-- is it in there?

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Oh, no, no, no, the boulder's my escape plan.

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They think I'm somewhere else.

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I'm actually in the boulder.

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But I didn't come here to talk

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-about my magic act, Michael. -Okay.

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I came to ask you to be my best man... slash-assistant.

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And then we'll walk through the act later, of course.

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-I mean, not now. -No, we're not going to,

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'cause you know, I'm out of the family.

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Did you not get that when I announced it over at Mom's place?

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I feel like I was out of the room at that point.

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I am done with this family.

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I hope you've saved some money 'cause you...

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♪ Hello, darkness, my old friend... ♪

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MICHAEL: Well, the gist of it was:

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"You know what? I'm done with this family.

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"I hope you saved your money 'cause you're going to need every last dime now."

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Maybe you could be a centurion, kind of standing over where they think that I'll be.

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I'm not going to be in the act.

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Might be a great promotion for the Bluth Company.

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No, Bluth Company's done.

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I started my own company: Michael B. Company.

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I have a bee company.

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You stole my idea?

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Uh-uh, I did not steal your...

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We sell... It would take hours.

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How's that going, by the way?

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Uh, not so good.

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I've been keeping the bees in my apartment.

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I was using my magic smoke on them.

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And my bees are dropping like flies, and I need them to fly like bees.

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And so I've got them out at a bee hospital, which is not cheap, which is another reason

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I need to be a famous magician.

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Yeah, well, listen, you're with my son's ex, so I can't support the wedding.

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What if I don't actually get married?

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I don't think you'd need a best man, then, right?

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No, I guess, at that point, it'd really be more... assistant.

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Is this an escape act?

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-Are you running again? -What do you want from me?

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Marriage is a lot of pressure, and she's not into it.

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Meanwhile, I'm working out like crazy, my diet has become insane, and this Jesus character-- I mean, he was shredded.

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Meanwhile, we have sex one time, and then she's just, you know, over it.

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Lets herself go.

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Her stomach's out to here.

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You know, your whole life is an escape act, and this girl seems like she really likes you.

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Why don't you just try to work it out and just stop running...?

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Yeah, I know you're in the boulder.

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GOB: But how'd I get in the boulder?

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NARRATOR: And on the day of the wedding,

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even though Gob didn't take it seriously,

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he was a little hurt to discover

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no one else in his family did, either.

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ANN: I know it's bad luck for you to see me in my gown before the wedding.

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Well, hopefully I haven't.

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You're angry.

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Why? Because none of my family has shown up and the only person I recognize out there is Tony Wonder, who's only shown up hoping that I'd fail?

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I don't know what your surprise trick is, but...

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I know it's going to be great.

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And as for your family... you have a new family now.

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(chuckles)

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I don't want these.

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-Tobias! -Gob.

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-Thanks for coming. -Oh, how could I not?

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I'm playing Roman Centurion Number Two.

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-What are you playing? -I'm the groom.

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I didn't know there was a groom part.

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You know, Betty at And As It Is Such,

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So Also As Such Is It Unto You casting told me this was all biblical.

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Wait, you're not here for the wedding?

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Well, thank you very much for your vote of confidence.

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I'll have you know I've worked for the Miracle Network a number of times.

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ANNOUNCER: Coming up next:

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Father Marsala's searing docudrama,

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Father Marsala's John the Baptist.

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Then the antiabortion drama,

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Embryo Dan: It Would Have Been a Wonderful Life.

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And later, break out the bagels.

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It's time for Father M's lighthearted comedy,

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-A Jew Came to Dinner. -TOBIAS: I hate to be

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the guy who quotes his own reviews, but His Word magazine... called my Jew "pitiful."

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NARRATOR: But soon,

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the wedding began.

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PASTOR VEAL: So, it truly is a blessed day.

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I believe that we are all blessed, uh, to be gathering here at the Church of the Holy Eternal Rapture.

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Uh, we have almost arrived at that glorious moment where we join together these two very special people, but first, my almost son-in-law has something he'd like to share with all of us, so, um... ladies and gentlemen, uh, please enjoy a magical... uh, trick.

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Thanks for that killer intro.

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It's true, this is a magical trick.

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If what Jesus did was a trick.

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(crowd gasping)

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I say it wasn't.

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(laughter, applause)

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It was an illusion.

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(crowd gasping softly)

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TOBIAS: Ooh, they did not like that one.

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I don't take notes from you, Centurion Number Two.

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Just turn this thing around.

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I am not the real Jesus.

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I am the Amazing Jesus!

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No? I thought that that would be up your... alley.

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Yes, the real Jesus came off the cross and went into his cave... a dead man.

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NARRATOR: And Gob's escape boulder

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was wheeled up to the trick.

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But was he crazy enough to do it... handcuffed?

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Handcuff the King of the Jews!

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GOB: You don't have words here...

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Pastor Veal, if you don't mind, please go up into the cave and assure everyone that there's no way to escape: no trapdoors, no secret compartments, no way to get out.

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Thank you very...

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Pastor Veal, let me remind you that you are in a church in front of your daughter, your congregation, God.

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You cannot tell a lie.

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Right, nothing out of the ordinary?

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-No, I-I didn't see anything. -Yes.

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Jesus went into the cave, and he arose three days later.

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But I'm not going to lock myself in the cave for three days before this wedding ceremony.

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No, no. No, no, no.

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I plan on beating his record by two full weeks!

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(dramatic music playing)

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Into the cave with you!

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GOB: No, I said don't underline the "you" in that.

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NARRATOR: Unfortunately, Gob was not able to open

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the secret compartment that contained the handcuff key.

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It's not going to work. Okay, uh, this isn't going to work.

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Let's do... let's do mouse in drink.

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Let's do mouse in drink. Just get these people some drinks. We'll just get a mouse.

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No, no, no. No, no, no, you know not what you do!

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But it very clearly said in the centurions' script

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to ignore the magician's protests,

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which meant that, still handcuffed...

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But if my hands are handcuffed, I'll never...

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...Gob was unable to break his fall

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and was therefore knocked unconscious.

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And as the Gob dummy

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was sealed inside the cave,

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the real Gob's fate was sealed, as well.

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Well, I guess... we'll wait two weeks...

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...and see if he's in there.

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Is that okay with you, Ann?

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He's not coming back.

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NARRATOR: Gob was stuck inside a fake boulder in

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-the parking lot of a church, -GOB (weakly): Hey, kids.

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while inside the church, the daily routine

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-proceeded as usual -I-18.

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-and the anticipation grew to a fevered pitch. -I-18.

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11 exciting days, um, although nothing's really happened.

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Day 11.

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Once he gets out, it's going to be a beautiful, beautiful wedding.

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He's not coming back.

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But it was Betty from And As It Is Such,

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So Also As Such Is It Unto You that would render Gob's

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-escape act a disaster. -You got to get rid of this thing.

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-I got Mrs. Murray's trailer here. -I guess, if he comes back from the dead, we could just get a stepladder.

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-Guys, this, too. -And a hoarse,

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weakened Gob was unable to stop them

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as the boulder was shipped to a storage unit in Tustin.

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Although a keen eye could see

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that Gob was alive but not well.

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And that's why this particular chair was empty

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at the trial of Lucille Bluth.

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Well, I can't thank you all enough for returning...

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At the end of two weeks, the big day

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-finally arrived... again. -So let's count down.

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Let's have some fun, uh, from five, four...

00:20:11

-three, two, one. -The dead will walk amongst us.

00:20:15

No, he shan't, for he-eth not here.

00:20:18

-I knew it. -TOBIAS: Oh, there's a note.

00:20:21

"If I have not yet returned, I am in the Rapture."

00:20:25

Oh, and then it says, "Love each other."

00:20:29

MRS. VEAL: What does he think we've been doing?

00:20:31

I loaned him $1,000.

00:20:33

Gob didn't fare much better than the bride,

00:20:36

finally being discovered on an episode

00:20:38

of the auction reality show...

00:20:42

MAN: Moment of truth, people.

00:20:45

It's a masker.

00:20:47

Jesus, there's a man in there.

00:20:49

(auctioneer coughing, speaking indistinctly)

00:20:51

-Let's get the bidding started at a hundred dollars. Anybody?

00:20:52

-(hissing) -Nope.

00:20:55

He's hissing.

00:20:59

NARRATOR: After a week in the hospital,

00:21:01

Gob was happy to finally see a familiar shape.

00:21:04

You humiliated me.

00:21:06

You made a mockery of my religion and you ruined our wedding.

00:21:09

Our first fight, and like all fights, you're a little right, I'm a little right.

00:21:14

I sold your cave on Craigslist.

00:21:16

So it was all worth it.

00:21:18

We have money to start our life together.

00:21:21

Now we have our nest, egg-- Ann.

00:21:25

Now we have our, our nest, Ann.

00:21:29

I'm leaving you, Gob.

00:21:31

I don't love you anymore.

00:21:33

I feel sorry for you, and you're gonna be alone forever unless you let the Holy Ghost inside you.

00:21:39

(laughing): The, the Holy...

00:21:43

(stammering)

00:21:50

You know what? I hope you read this.

00:21:53

NARRATOR: And maybe it was the fact that he had nothing

00:21:56

in his system but two weeks of candy vines,

00:21:59

but it did get through to him.

00:22:01

Steve.

00:22:02

It's me. Uh, I-I wanted to let you know that I am... I'm-I'm ready to... to... to... let the son of Gob enfold me.

00:22:14

Have you been to the club And, owned by Jeremy "Pivan"?

00:22:19

I'm gonna be there tonight about 8:00.

00:22:20

Maybe you could join me, I don't...

00:22:22

Obviously it's, it's me, your fa...

00:22:24

(beep)

00:22:27

Nah, he got it.

00:22:28

Okay.

00:22:31

NARRATOR: Gob was waiting to meet his son

00:22:33

at a bar and feeling a little vulnerable.

00:22:35

Lost my wife, lost my career.

00:22:36

When I was in that storage unit at the bottom of that rock, it was like I hit...

00:22:41

-Rock bottom? -No, no, not that.

00:22:42

More like a trending downward moment that just-- I don't know.

00:22:47

Maybe I'm being tested like that guy "Jawb" from the Bible.

00:22:50

-(pronounces correctly): Job. -Yes?

00:22:52

Job.

00:22:53

Yes, sir.

00:22:54

-Job. -Yeah.

00:22:56

-Look, I, I feel sorry for you, Pops. -Hey, pal,

00:22:58

I'm not that much older than you, guy.

00:23:00

-(chuckles) -Nah, I'm just here, I'm looking for my son.

00:23:02

I'm trying to get some cash out of him, actually.

00:23:04

You, you have another son?

00:23:07

(Steve laughing)

00:23:08

I have a brother?

00:23:10

Oh, man.

00:23:11

Yes, Steve.

00:23:14

Yeah.

00:23:15

-What's his name? -Dave.

00:23:17

Oh, Dave Holt.

00:23:19

-Yeah, Dave Holt. -Yes.

00:23:21

NARRATOR: Yes, Gob had been speaking to his son

00:23:22

for an hour and a half.

00:23:24

-Wait, your mom's name is Eve? -Yeah.

00:23:26

God, I (bleep) a chick named Eve once.

00:23:28

Biggest mistake of my life.

00:23:30

NARRATOR: And perhaps it was because

00:23:32

Gob was inadvertently so warm

00:23:34

to his son that Steve

00:23:36

-offered him a job. -I don't even really have a job.

00:23:37

Would you want to come work with me?

00:23:39

I mean, I...

00:23:41

Are you serious?

00:23:42

I mean, I'm in pest control, but father and son.

00:23:46

What a great team.

00:23:47

It would be a great team.

00:23:49

I mean, I don't care.

00:23:50

Pest control-- I don't know.

00:23:51

As long as I'm not being a pest to you, right?

00:23:53

-No, never. -I mean, I'm kidding.

00:23:55

(Gob mumbling)

00:23:59

Where is your place of business?

00:24:01

-181... -181...

00:24:03

-Manville. -Manville.

00:24:05

Manville.

00:24:06

What time do you start this pest control?

00:24:09

7:00 a.m.

00:24:11

Then I'll be there at 6:45 with two cups of coffee.

00:24:14

Oh, Dad, this is the greatest day of my life.

00:24:18

No, this is the greatest day of my life.

00:24:21

And perhaps it was because it was such a great day...

00:24:23

-6:45. -6:45. -...that Gob decided to stay at the bar...

00:24:25

-6:45. -...and show off a little.

00:24:27

I bet it's been a long time since you've seen your...

00:24:33

-...cherry. -I have lupus.

00:24:34

(spits) Could have warned a guy.

00:24:36

But showing off did catch the attention of someone.

00:24:38

That was the real deal, huh?

00:24:40

How about this?

00:24:41

How about you do that cherry trick for my boy Mark Cherry?

00:24:44

Mark Cherry the baby-faced singer or Marc Cherry the baby-faced showrunner?

00:24:47

Baby-faced singer-- right over there, man.

00:24:49

He has loved magic ever since he was a kid.

00:24:52

NARRATOR: Which was two years earlier, when Mark Cherry was

00:24:54

the star of a cable teen sitcom called

00:24:57

Pop-A-ROTC, created by a longtime writing veteran

00:25:00

of the TV show Cheers.

00:25:02

Soon, Mark Cherry became

00:25:05

a pop sensation off his cowritten hit single

00:25:08

"Practice Kisses."

00:25:10

JOHN JR.: I found a gentleman who is about

00:25:12

-to do a magic trick for you. -No, it's an illusion.

00:25:14

A trick is something a whore does for...

00:25:17

Do a trick and I'll pay for your bar tab.

00:25:19

-Who wants a trick? -ALL: Yeah!

00:25:20

(all cheering)

00:25:22

NARRATOR: Gob had them in the palm of his hand.

00:25:24

He even got the attention

00:25:27

-of a still out-of-control Rebel Alley... -Do it again.

00:25:29

-I missed it. -...who was there doing research

00:25:31

-for an upcoming PSA... -Fireball!

00:25:34

...she'd soon be required to do by law.

00:25:36

Fire, fire!

00:25:37

Never yell "fire" in a crowded place.

00:25:39

It's never funny.

00:25:41

That's always funny.

00:25:42

NARRATOR: And she was intrigued by this magical man.

00:25:44

-Oh... -Whoa.

00:25:46

That is a David Spade.

00:25:48

(clears throat) Check your purse.

00:25:50

(gasping)

00:25:51

-(Gob chuckles) -Nice.

00:25:55

Oh, man, paparazzo.

00:25:56

Oh, shoot, great.

00:25:57

The last thing I need is to be seen partying with some tweens.

00:25:59

I'm trying to clean up my act.

00:26:01

Dude, network's gonna flip if there's another drunk photo of you.

00:26:05

-I know. -We got to get you away

00:26:06

-from this place, okay? -Getting away is kind of my specialty.

00:26:10

I'll have us out of here in a flash.

00:26:13

All right.

00:26:15

Let's get out of here while they still got lighter fluid

00:26:17

-in their eyes. -Go, baby.

00:26:19

(all laughing)

00:26:21

-Oh, man. -Oh...

00:26:22

Nice moves, Getaway.

00:26:24

Oh.

00:26:25

Okay.

00:26:27

NARRATOR: Gob had been accepted into the group,

00:26:29

which was bad news for Cherry's

00:26:31

business manager's son Josh Abramson.

00:26:35

Gob actually did

00:26:36

end up driving down Manville

00:26:38

-at 6:45 a.m. -This is it! This is...

00:26:40

I'll be with you in a second, I'll be right there.

00:26:42

Start without me, just start without me.

00:26:43

Don't worry!

00:26:44

He's not coming back.

00:26:49

NARRATOR: Gob was living the dream,

00:26:51

and felt like he was in the center of the entourage,

00:26:54

even though he was three away from the center at the closest,

00:26:58

and it was pop star Mark Cherry's dream.

00:27:03

Hey, I'm with, with the guys.

00:27:07

Keep the limo running, Getaway.

00:27:10

That's my job.

00:27:12

(siren chirps)

00:27:14

NARRATOR: The next few months were a blur of partying...

00:27:16

(shouting)

00:27:17

...and shame.

00:27:19

(shouting and laughter)

00:27:22

But Gob had a trick

00:27:23

for helping him forget the shame.

00:27:28

Unfortunately it also helped him forget

00:27:30

that he tried to forget the shame...

00:27:33

-Hey, remember me? -and soon Gob found himself experiencing...

00:27:36

Hey, I'm having myself a little bit of a...

00:27:37

what, on the street, is referred to...

00:27:40

-...empty bottle situation. -...as a roofie circle...

00:27:42

-I won't forget this. -...whereby a roofie

00:27:44

is taken the day after a degrading event...

00:27:48

...too late to erase the memory of the degrading event itself

00:27:54

but not too late to erase the prior day's attempt

00:27:57

to erase the event.

00:27:58

(whistles)

00:28:01

-Thus, with no memory of taking the roofie... - Hey, remember me?

00:28:04

-...but the memory of the event very much alive.. - Been a while.

00:28:07

Oh, I should grab a, uh... oh.

00:28:09

...the victim of the roofie circle finds himself

00:28:12

constantly trying to re-erase the memory...

00:28:14

What's with the scary guy?

00:28:16

-(speaking Spanish) -Céllate.

00:28:18

...but only succeeds in erasing the memory

00:28:21

of the attempt to erase the memory.

00:28:24

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months...

00:28:26

(laughs) What's with all the Christmas decorations?

00:28:31

And what begins in shame...

00:28:34

-Hey, remember me? -No, no més, no més.

00:28:37

-...almost always ends... -You remember me?

00:28:40

-You remember me? -...in a Mexican hospital...

00:28:41

-Remember me? -...with stage-four syphilis.

00:28:44

(groans)

00:28:46

Gob was also wearing out his welcome

00:28:48

with Mark and the other hangers-on.

00:28:50

See, told you I knew him.

00:28:52

Can I get a picture with him to show my five-year-old?

00:28:54

You have a five-year-old?

00:28:56

My granddaughter.

00:28:57

-Oh, yeah, right. -Thank you.

00:29:01

-The hell? -Run, run, run.

00:29:04

NARRATOR: And perhaps it was this incident...

00:29:06

-(bleep) Getaway. -...that inspired Mark Cherry

00:29:09

to actually write a song about Gob.

00:29:11

♪ Go away, Getaway, stay away, Getaway... ♪

00:29:13

NARRATOR: But the lyrics were too subtle for Gob to notice.

00:29:16

I know guys just like that.

00:29:17

NARRATOR: And as his life in the Malibu colony

00:29:19

was falling apart, he got a call

00:29:21

that his bee colony wasn't doing much better

00:29:25

from a very much alive Johnny Bark.

00:29:27

They're sick. They're going to collapse the whole colony.

00:29:29

You tell him about the sick bees?

00:29:31

Jesus, I just said that!

00:29:33

NARRATOR: And Gob returned just in time

00:29:34

to catch his friends going out

00:29:36

for the evening without him.

00:29:37

Guys, hurry before he sees us. Come on.

00:29:39

Hey, guys, where we going?

00:29:41

I-I-I'll drive, I just got to put my sick bees in the trunk.

00:29:43

NARRATOR: And perhaps this was the moment

00:29:45

that Gob could sense the tide was turning.

00:29:48

It's my fault, guys. I made a mistake.

00:29:52

(bee buzzing)

00:29:54

NARRATOR: In an effort to remain popular with the gang,

00:29:56

Gob stopped in front of a club to pick up some women.

00:29:59

GOB: Who wants to party with Mark Cherry?

00:30:02

Uh, me, me, me...

00:30:04

That's one forget-me-now saved, huh, fellas?

00:30:06

Oh, looks like we got a real live one, and by alive, I mean barely alive.

00:30:12

(clamoring)

00:30:13

-Take off your... -Clothes.

00:30:15

-Take off your... -Clothes.

00:30:17

We're having a good time.

00:30:18

We are having a great time.

00:30:20

-MARK: Hey, Getaway. -Yeah.

00:30:21

You know what'd be really cool?

00:30:23

If you shut the partition.

00:30:24

It'd be like, uh, like a joke, like you're our limo driver...

00:30:27

That would be hilarious, right?

00:30:29

"Oh, yes, very good, sir, very good."

00:30:34

Right?

00:30:35

Be like, "I'm... I'm just driving the queen of England," but we're still-- we're taking our clothes off.

00:30:40

But perhaps if they had not excluded Gob...

00:30:41

DEBRIE: You guys have anything harder?

00:30:42

...he could have prevented this from happening.

00:30:44

Like, what's in here? You have the good stash in here?

00:30:47

What are you talking about?

00:30:48

(bees buzzing)

00:30:49

(all screaming)

00:30:54

"A lot of traffic out here today, Miss Daisy."

00:30:59

(screaming, bees buzzing)

00:31:02

♪ Go away, Getaway, stay away, Getaway... ♪

00:31:05

NARRATOR: On the plus side,

00:31:06

Gob's bees were feeling good enough to sting again.

00:31:09

I see this boat and I'm like, "Those are police boats," so, anyway, I'm running around and I said, "It's not a trick, it's an illusion..."

00:31:16

To the entourage, the evening was a complete disaster.

00:31:18

Drunken, sick and covered with bee stings,

00:31:22

they had truly hit bottom.

00:31:25

(chuckles)

00:31:26

For Gob, however, it was an amazing night,

00:31:29

and he couldn't wait to forget it.

00:31:31

Hmm, hmm.

00:31:33

Fun night.

00:31:35

(laughs)

00:31:36

A... fun night.

00:31:46

Fun night. (chuckles)

00:31:48

NARRATOR: The next day, Getaway awoke

00:31:50

without a care in the world and snuck to the front door,

00:31:53

trying not to arouse the gang

00:31:55

he assumed would be blissfully sleeping it off all day.

00:32:00

-Wake up! -But Gob had slept through

00:32:02

the seven ambulances that had arrived

00:32:04

after Josh Abramson had swung by to pick up an old computer.

00:32:18

Nonetheless, later that evening,

00:32:19

Gob arrived early at the Opies, an award show

00:32:23

that honored youth in Hollywood, to make sure

00:32:25

that Mark Cherry would be well taken care of...

00:32:27

Where's the coconut shrimp?

00:32:29

...before he was scheduled to perform.

00:32:30

Hey, come on, my guys love coconut shrimp, especially if they can get it with a little bit of club...

00:32:36

NARRATOR: It was then that Gob noticed

00:32:37

the presence of a competitor from his past.

00:32:40

T.W.

00:32:42

Tony Wonder.

00:32:43

NARRATOR: Gob realized that where there was glitter,

00:32:45

there must also be Tony Wonder...

00:32:48

and that's when Gob decided

00:32:50

to take advantage of an unexpected diversion

00:32:53

and have a little fun by wedging shut

00:32:55

a panel on the podium he knew Tony Wonder

00:32:58

would pop out of.

00:33:03

You guys want to see a real failed magician?

00:33:04

You might want to get down to the Opies tonight.

00:33:06

It's going to be hysterical.

00:33:08

NARRATOR: And that's when Gob found out that Mark Cherry

00:33:10

had checked into rehab.

00:33:12

Well, come on, you guys, I mean, it's just...

00:33:14

A little alcohol poisoning never killed anyone.

00:33:18

NARRATOR: Actually, alcohol poisoning is responsible

00:33:20

for over 4,000 deaths a year.

00:33:22

Binge drinking-- not cool.

00:33:24

Well, that's a drag. I thought we were friends.

00:33:26

NARRATOR: But, of course, they weren't.

00:33:28

MORT: But Schnoodle's coming out now, too,

00:33:29

-just like Tony Wonder. -And that's when he saw

00:33:31

Tony Wonder come out of a speaker.

00:33:33

TONY: I'm here, I'm queer.

00:33:37

And now I'm in a speaker.

00:33:40

-MORT: No one can stop us. -(explosion)

00:33:42

NARRATOR: It was in that pivotal moment

00:33:43

that Gob realized he had lost his fiancíe,

00:33:46

his career, his family and his entourage.

00:33:50

I have no one in my life who cares for me.

00:33:53

("The Sound of Silence" intro playing)

00:33:54

♪ Hello, darkness... ♪

00:33:56

♪ Go away, Getaway, stay away, Getaway... ♪

00:34:00

Great, and now my boss is on my ass.

00:34:08

♪ Get away, Getaway... ♪

00:34:11

NARRATOR: Gob nurses the loss of his new family

00:34:13

when he gets a call from his old one.

00:34:15

This is Gob.

00:34:16

LUCILLE (over phone): It's your mother.

00:34:17

We're going to plan "B."

00:34:18

Go see your father in the desert.

00:34:20

He wants you to prepare to be president

00:34:22

-of the Bluth Company. -Yes, finally.

00:34:24

I will not disappoint you, Mom.

00:34:25

I am the perfect person to look out for this family.

00:34:29

-(horn honks) -Whoa.

00:34:32

♪ Hey, I met a girl today... ♪

00:34:34

♪ Get away, Getaway... ♪

00:34:36

NARRATOR: And after collapsing yet another colony,

00:34:38

Gob makes a startling discovery...

00:34:42

My cave.

00:34:43

...and decides to investigate...

00:34:46

Why didn't you open?

00:34:48

...only to discover that someone had wedged shut

00:34:50

his secret compartment

00:34:52

on the day he deserted his Christian bride.

00:34:54

"T."

00:34:56

Tony Wonder.

00:34:59

Tony Wonder.