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Mixed Messages

{\an8}[narrator] Previously,

{\an8}on Arrested Development: Fateful Consequences.

George Michael was trying to impress a cousin

he was tutoring in math...

Excuse me. Hello.

[narrator] By bragging about software he was developing.

So it's privacy software that's also anti-piracy?

It's called Fakeblock.

[narrator] He was lying. It was software

that made a phone, when tapped, sound like a woodblock,

which it kind of does, even without the software.

And soon, he escorted her to an awards show for young Hollywood,

eager to show her the ways in which he had become a worldly man.

In Spain, they don't even eat dinner until after eleven p.m.

-Wow! -You grow up very quickly in Spain.

My God, I know this guy. Hey, man.

He's nobody.

[narrator] Although he made some rookie mistakes...

He's "Justin" from Wizards of Waverly Place.

It's on a lot in Spain.

[narrator] He soon got himself back into

an overtly sexual mindset.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

[narrator] But, of course, it was Lindsay,

who was undercover to take down Herbert Love

with a random act of senseless non-violence

that involved her face-blind boyfriend Marky...

[man] Lindsay, is that you dancing?

[narrator] Who was squatting in a podium with a glitter bob

waiting for Lindsay to let him out.

But she may have spoken too soon,

as Lindsay was soon flirting with this man,

whom she had no idea was the man she was there to target.

Are you trying to find out where I live?

And your favorite kind of jewelry.

[narrator] It was the mention of an accessory that distracted Lindsay

from her role as Marky's accessory.

Maeby was playing a little make believe too,

by saying she was starting an internet company.

Schnoodle's dead. Fakeblock is the next big thing.

[narrator] But George Michael had lied to her about Fakeblock...

Yes. Your privacy software.

[narrator] Which was why he was reticent to publicize it.

It's private.

[narrator] When he saw how others were impressed,

he realized it might be worth rebranding himself

to impress Maeby.

George Ma-- Harris.

-Perfecto. -De nada.

[narrator] But she seemed more impressed with someone else.

That's my undercover cop boyfriend.

[narrator] And discouraged that he'd lost Maeby,

he tried to salvage his night

by taking a picture of Gibby from iCarly,

-which is on a lot in Spain, -[alarm blaring]

-when the explosion went off, -[shouting]

which to the CEO of Schnoodle, appeared to be George Maharis

triggering an explosion.

That geek Maharis destroyed the whole thing.

And you know why?

Just because he could.

We should work together.

-No. -Smart.

[narrator] Lindsay was as blue as one of her men,

when she returned to the penthouse,

{\an8}and that's when she decided to get half in the bag.

[sipping]

But she was at least able to turn a man's head...

Gentlemen, start your engines.

-Buster. Oh! -[clattering]

[narrator] And the next day, George Michael was bowled over as well.

[man on TV] Here's your 15 seconds of news.

Fakeblock's mystery man, George Maharis,

may have just found a way to screw a cap on the Internet,

and investors are lining up to fill the company's tank with money,

even though he himself remains anonymous.

That's all the news that's fit to pump. I quit.

{\an8}[narrator] Now, the story of what happened

{\an8}when the one man who was holding his family together

finally let go, and the separate journeys

that eventually gave them no choice but to come back together.

{\an8}It's Arrested Development: Fateful Consequences.

By the time George Michael returned to campus,

even his roommate had heard of George Maharis' Fakeblock.

{\an8}This George Maharis guy stole our name, but we have it registered,

{\an8}so we can sell it to him for a fortune.

{\an8}I am George Maharis! I'm behind the whole thing.

{\an8}I wanted to impress Maeby,

{\an8}so I told her that I created this privacy software.

{\an8}Why would you do that?

{\an8}You know, it's like the time you told that girl

{\an8}that you were George Takei's son.

{\an8}Well, it's too late. This thing's taking off.

{\an8}They're saying Fakeblock knocked out Schnoodle.

{\an8}That was a coincidence.

It must have been a power surge.

{\an8}We gotta do something. At least get our five grand back.

{\an8}Well, I put in the five grand, you put in $3.

{\an8}You may have put in the most money to Fakeblock,

{\an8}but I put in the first $3, so that makes you a hop-on.

{\an8}No, you're the hop-on, Paul,

{\an8}and I know exactly who you're trying to hop on to.

{\an8}-Maeby. -Maybe.

{\an8}Yeah, well, you know she's dating a cop, right?

Yeah, she likes risk takers, like the P--

Hi.

Huh.

{\an8}Keep moving. Can you believe this?

Fakeblock, it's exploded.

I got my PR company fanning it. which wasn't cheap.

Where'd you get the money for this?

[narrator] She'd actually received it one night earlier.

Here's my private number.

-Give me a call. -I'd like that very much.

[narrator] In an exchange she'd had with her mother...

Are you really gonna whore yourself out like that?

You're a whore.

[narrator] Was overheard by Herbert Love's campaign manager.

-Ma'am, is she yours? -Unfortunately.

Herbert Love would like to see her.

You can arrange that?

Discretion is appreciated.

[narrator] Which is how Maeby both got the seed money

{\an8}-for her company... -I'm the discret-iest...

Just to be clear, I want to hire her for prostitution.

{\an8}-[narrator] And became her mother's pimp. -Yes, definitely.

{\an8}That was clear. I'm gonna charge you for that.

I even got it to the attention of Jim Cramer.

This Fakeblock thing is poised to explode!

I never do this. Hell, it's not even a stock yet.

For all I know, it's not even real!

But I think this might be going through the roof!

I'm calling it my first hypothetical buy.

And this weekend, don't forget to catch me on Gangie IV.

Here's a taste.

{\an8}[narrator] It seemed Cramer owed Maeby a favor.

I'm raising the alert level from "Don't Leave the House"

to "Board Up Your Windows!"

[cheering]

I think we just might want to slow down a little bit on the whole Fakeblock thing,

'cause I'm still not 100% finished with it.

Well, how finished are you with it?

200%? 500%?

I also feel like I'm not 100% finished with your math tutoring.

[narrator] And then Maeby said something

that made him change his mind.

I trust you, George Michael.

{\an8}I would not get into bed with you on this thing

{\an8}if I didn't trust you.

{\an8}I mean, of course you can trust me in bed.

{\an8}No, I mean, I trust you not to take advantage of me.

No. I wouldn't. We would just lie there.

We'd just lie there? I mean, I'm talking about business.

So am I.

That's why we would just lie there.

Or we'd sit there.

We'd just sit there and do our business.

Okay. 'Cause I was gonna say, when you become an Internet billionaire, you can do whatever you want with me in bed.

[narrator] It was that. That's what made him change his mind.

I will. [laughing]

I will.

[narrator] That's when George Michael got the call

from his Uncle Gob...

I need to see you tonight.

[narrator] Which he was doing as a favor for George Michael's father...

who had fallen for an actress.

-Is it Julie Bowen? -No, it's not.

-Is yours Julie Bowen? -Is yours Julie...

Michael, you're seeing Julie Bowen?

I am not seeing Julie Bowen, but if you are, you tell me right now.

I want to hear you say the words,

"I'm not seeing Julie Bowen."

I have not seen Julie Bowen.

Well, that's a funny way to phrase it.

[narrator] This went on for some time.

But eventually, Michael revealed

that she was interested in him as a producer.

But without his son's life rights,

the movie might not even happen...

...because I don't think that I can ask my son.

What happened between him and me was very disappointing.

Take him to the Ealing Club.

It's all showbiz.

I used to hang out there all the time.

It's just actresses and stuff like that.

I don't know if I could pick up the phone and call him and ask him...

It's about your father and you.

Really, is he upset?

Do I seem like a clown to you?

Do I seem like some kind of a clown to you?

[narrator] George Michael was nervous, and he didn't even know

that this was about to happen...

...your hot, little, tight little, hot ass right up there right away to see him.

[narrator] Or this...

Ow! Bit my tongue, you little bitch.

[man] But are we good?

We're good.

Okay.

-[narrator] Maeby was nervous, too, -[knock on door]

because she still had to trick her mother into turning a trick.

Hi, sweetie.

Hey. Hi.

{\an8}[narrator] But the universe seemed to like the plan.

Yeah, well, the bags are certainly a surprise.

You're not thinking of moving in, are you?

-What? No. -Yeah, because

I don't think Dad would be cool with it.

No, of course not.

-Is he in? -No.

Oh. What happened there?

Kids or people who like kids.

So, where's Marky?

God, Marky will be in jail for quite a while.

{\an8}So it turns out the glitter was shrapnel grade.

They're upping my charges from prank bomb to non-Arab terrorism.

This is where you letting me out of the podium would have really helped.

Why didn't you just come out?

I couldn't do it, someone locked me in.

I need you to bail me out. I need you to use that check.

Oh, I don't have that check anymore.

-What? -You told me to rip it up.

I thought you said you didn't believe in money.

I didn't until I realized what it could keep me from.

Jail's a lot like Swappigan's, except there's only one thing to swap.

It's scary.

-Anus tart. -Yep, that's me.

God, that could've been me.

Lindsay, listen to me, I'm scared.

I'm scared, I'm scared...

-I'm really scared. -[man] No touching!

Actually, it's kind of nice to have a little me time.

Oh, of course, that's why you were giving Herbert Love a little "you time" last night.

You were flirting with him to get Marky out of jail.

Well, yeah, that is what I should have been do--

-What I... did, yeah, yeah. -Mm-hmm.

That's exactly what I should have and did do.

And it's not that bad an idea, actually.

You can get him to do anything.

He's probably one of those shallow guys who's only interested in looks.

I miss that.

Missed that.

Yeah, you know, maybe it would be a good idea if I got in touch with him.

I mean, he did give me his card.

Although, I could never call him.

I could call him for you

Set up a meeting.

You could even wear that wig, so nobody would think you're selling out.

-Yeah. -And I'll tell him it has to be tonight.

Well, the sooner the better.

Got to get Marky out of jail.

That's why the sooner the better.

[narrator] Technically, she still needed to talk her mother

into having sex with him.

But this was a woman who once wore this to a men's prison.

So she felt she'd be okay.

Maeby arranged for her mother

to meet Herbert Love at a showbiz club

-that she was a member of. -No cameras...

No phones...

Thank you for being willing to meet.

Meet, greet.

Sure are sweet.

What did the lamb say?

-Bah? -Bleat. [laughing]

Yes, of course.

I was just wondering, is anything really bad gonna happen to that blue guy from the rally?

Do you want to press charges?

Who can think of Little Boy Blue, when I've got this beautiful face in front of me?

Oh. Thanks. Haven't heard that in a long time.

Your cheekbones are even higher than my approval rating.

Your brain can register my cheekbones?

I'll register them to vote.

Your lips are like a Murphy bed.

They don't take up much space, but they are there when you need them.

You're wonderful.

But I do want to talk to you about a couple of issues.

Can we just have one night where we don't talk about politics?

Yes, yes, just one night.

-We deserve it. -Let's get a room.

Yes. No. What?

Okay.

We can talk in a room, I guess.

You hang tight.

I'm gonna meet with some of my "constititutes."

-Hello. -[Lindsay] Michael?

Hi.

-How are you? -I'm good.

I almost didn't recognize you.

-It's my hair. -That's some of it, but it's also, you're with a guy that pretty much represents everything you pretend to hate.

Was that Herbert Love?

Now I remember why we fell out of touch.

No, I'm kidding. I'm so sorry.

[narrator] And that's when Michael found a way

to deliver on a promise to his father.

But if you really want to blow him... away, you know the wall issue that everyone is talking about?

The wall between Mexico and the US?

Tell him to take it down?

Or just not to put it up. No wall yet.

Oh, no, there's no...

I knew that, yeah.

If you could get him against the wall,

Lindsay...

-Yeah, sure, fine. -Yeah?

Yeah, I'll talk to him about the wall.

-Good. -I want to change politics.

-Great. -What's in it for me?

So not completely change them?

What do you want?

I want you to talk to that warden guy about getting my boyfriend out, because I really don't think Herbert's gonna help with that.

Well, I have a script notes call with him on Tuesday.

-Yeah, I'll talk to Warden Gentles. -Great!

-Thank you. -This is good.

I'm glad we ran into each other.

If you do something for me.

I'm making this movie... and I need everybody's rights.

[narrator] And that's how Lindsay agreed to give Michael her rights

-for his movie. -Thanks.

-That's it. -But it shouldn't have been,

because he should have asked for help

getting into a club he was about to discover was members only.

I'm meeting my son up there. Maybe he's already up there.

Could you maybe page him up there?

I'm not getting any response.

[narrator] And when the page proved fruitless...

You're gonna make me look like a big shot in front of my son. Thank you.

[narrator] Michael decided to head George Michael off

before he could get to the club's lobby with a small lie...

Hey, buddy, it's Dad.

I am having real trouble getting up there.

This traffic is unbelievable.

[narrator] Which led to a slightly bigger lie.

We got a light aircraft right in the middle of the freeway.

[narrator] And then some effort to make it foolproof.

And the kicker is that there's no news crew.

I mean, I guess they can't get in either 'cause of the traffic, so no one's gonna be able to see this.

[narrator] But perhaps, had Michael not have lied,

he wouldn't have felt suspicious when, moments later,

{\an8}he received a return call from his son...

[George Michael] We're sitting in the same traffic. This is a mess...

[narrator] Canceling the get-together entirely.

[George Michael] Oh, God, they're forcing us off. Have a pleasant night.

{\an8}[narrator] In fact, George Michael had arrived earlier to the Ealing Club.

{\an8}As a frustrated Andy Richter

was having trouble getting into the club he was a member of.

He looks just like me.

I'll just go up, I'll find him, I'll...

-Come on. -Hey, Donnie!

Hey, I had you for a semester at Openings.

Yeah, okay, all right.

Hey, come on. I'm his guest.

Is this man your guest?

No, no. I'm just meeting my dad here.

Oh, screw this. I'm going in.

Go on up, go on.

Oh, come on! Some Openings child you are, man!

[narrator] And George Michael girded himself

for his first meeting with his father since he voted him out of the dorm.

Hi. Just a sea-breeze, please. Make it a strong one.

Put some stank on that.

George?

George Maharis?

And that's when he heard the name he'd forgotten

he'd given out as his own.

I see you.

Rebel Alley? We spoke three days ago.

I know, I know. I remember.

-Are you a member here? -No, I'm not.

No, I just walked in past the big black security guard.

Okay, you know what?

I was trying to be nice, but you're just a jerk.

You're a bigger jerk than Andy Richter over there!

Loosen up, bitch. I'm Andy Richter!

I probably make, like, $8,000 a day or something.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I'm in the middle of a whole thing with my dad right now, and I didn't mean to be... however I just came off.

Badly.

Well, I'm sorry. I've never met a beautiful actress before.

Oh. So you do know who I am?

God, of course I know who you are!

You were in the remake of Dangerous Cousins.

I signed up to Netflix because of that movie.

I think I was just thrown that you were interested in who I am.

Well, you are George Maharis.

Everyone's talking about your software company.

I'm sure women are just throwing themselves at your feet.

Well, you know, I prefer a woman who aims higher.

[laughing]

-That was funny. -Yeah, I know.

That was good. That was, like, smooth.

We have the same taste in words.

Okay, should we get a drink?

I'm buying.

I don't want you to think I'm after you for your money.

[narrator] George Michael was thrown

by what was clearly Rebel's stated interest in him.

Which is perhaps why he ignored the page...

-George Michael. -that he assumed was from his father.

[man] Is George Michael here?

Is George Michael here?

Oh, God. Just remind me not to go in the men's room.

[laughing]

Would you excuse me?

I'm just gonna use the men's room.

[narrator] And while checking his messages,

he got some good news.

[Michael] We got a light aircraft right in the middle of the freeway.

Call me back when you get this?

{\an8}[narrator] But while Michael was leaving a second message,

George Michael left one for him.

Hang on, this is you.

{\an8}I bet we're sitting in the same traffic. This is a mess.

[narrator] Now hoping to ensure that his father

didn't make it to their meeting.

Oh, God, they're forcing us off.

{\an8}Oh, God, they're forcing us off.

{\an8}...but we can just do this another time if that works.

Maybe that's better.

They're closing the lanes.

This is beautiful.

{\an8}Same traffic.

{\an8}Unreal.

{\an8}Unreal.

{\an8}Kind of looking around for you now.

Maybe you're right near me.

Anyhow, if you get this,

maybe we will just meet somewhere else.

Gonna hang up now.

I'm gonna video this and send it in to the news.

{\an8}Glad you're getting some footage of this,

{\an8}'cause I can't really get a good angle myself.

They're forcing us off here like a bunch of animals.

You know, maybe we'll do this another time,

'cause it's sad to say...

{\an8}You know, maybe we'll do this another time.

It's sad to say, but it's left me pretty shaken up.

God, I just hope there are no kids on that plane.

'Cause they don't have any choice in the matter.

-[phone chimes] -Well, I tell you what.

I feel worse for the parents, okay?

Probably, the kids thought that they could fly the plane all by themselves.

Bet you 500 bucks, they find a dead kid behind the stick.

Or maybe on the dead dad's lap whose only fault was loving that kid too much and letting him fly the plane.

Next thing he knows, he's bouncing off the top of the Sports Chalet onto the express lane of the 605.

Bet you 500 bucks.

One more thing, I think I accidentally had the phone flipped around.

I recorded my face the whole time, you know?

Smartphone, stupid man.

Pal, why don't you loop around and film this thing?

Someone's got to tell the story.

[narrator] Michael hung up, feeling confident

he'd had the last word.

-[phone chimes] -Kidding me?

[George Michael] Missed you again, damn.

But, you know, I got out of my car here,

and I'm standing here now

with a paramedic named Tim Ridgley...

Can I record some video?

-No cameras allowed. -No camera-- They're being real...

[narrator] But George Michael was proving more adept at lying

than anyone suspected.

Getting back in my car now.

Thank God we weren't on that plane.

[narrator] Which would come in handy with a woman

who only knew him as George Maharis.

-Hey. -Hey.

Sorry, that was my dad.

He can be kind of hard to get off the phone sometimes.

Tell me about it. At least he wasn't drunk and bitching about Don Ameche not knowing his lines in Cocoon.

He's actually great.

If anything, I've been kind of a lousy son lately, but, you know, it's just...

I mean, at some point, I've got to start living my life.

[narrator] Michael was hurt and ready to do the same,

when on his way out, he heard something that cheered him up.

[man] The guy that was harassing Rebel, he's on his way down.

Did you say Rebel?

Hey, Andy Richter. Michael Bluth. How you doing, Andy?

Yeah. I'm Andy.

I know him.

Can I get on your membership,

-and can you vouch for me? -Oh, yeah, sure.

Whatever you want, it's on Andy.

-Thank you. -It's on this rich [bleeps] hole.

Bye.

[narrator] Lindsay was in Herbert Love's hotel room...

worrying she was too quickly abandoning her principles.

I can't do this, unless you promise to be against the wall.

What the hell?

It's better for my back anyway.

Thank you. Thank you.

[narrator] Although, technically, that was one of Michael's principles.

{\an8}That was so not quick.

Well, I paid for six hours.

I want to get my money's worth.

Imagine what would have happened if you had the room for the whole night.

I got it for the whole month.

You crack me up.

God, can you believe this is happening?

I mean, we're such opposites, and yet we're so in sync.

-It's like we finish each other's... -Sandwiches?

What's the point of raising funds if I'm eating sandwiches?

I got something for you.

Really?

[gasps, sighs]

This way, you'll always have a little love near your heart.

When love is near, your heart will be happy.

[gasps]

-Ow! Jesus Christ! -I'm sorry.

-Why would you do that? -I thought it was cute.

-I saw it in a movie. Okay? -Okay, thank you.

Oh, I feel so special.

You are special.

[narrator] Of course, he actually thought she was a whore...

but he had gotten the necklace on special.

And now, finally in the Ealing Club,

Michael didn't find Rebel,

but he did run into the man he believed to be her lover.

-Ron. -Thank you.

No, no,  it's Michael.

Michael Bluth, doing the film about my family and...

Yeah, when are we gonna get your kid's signature, though?

I'm working on it.

I got a hold of him, and we're gonna meet here tonight, but I think that he's blowing me off.

Well, kids will be kids, right?

You know a month ago...

I would have told you he and I were exactly the same, that we were twins.

But now, I wouldn't even think of my son as my brother.

You know, the thing is...

He's busy.

{\an8}[narrator] On the next Arrested Development:

{\an8}Fateful Consequences.

Lindsay gets a job opportunity.

The only way we can see each other is if you work for my campaign.

You are gonna be my key advisor.

I would like that very much.

[narrator] She would be enacting social change after all.

She's gonna need a key to my room, and I'll advise you to use it when I call you.