Home > Better Call Saul

Nacho

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[PHONE RINGS]

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Wallenda here.

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[DOOR BUZZES NEARBY]

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Yeah.

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[OBJECTS CLATTER,

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DOOR CLOSES]

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Name?

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Charles McGill.

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Client visit.

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[PEN WRITING]

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[DOOR CLOSES]

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[PRISONERS SHOUTING]

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[DOOR BUZZES]

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Here's Johnny.

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Heh, heh.

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Hey, I knew you'd come.

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All right.

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You're a sight for sore eyes.

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You're looking good.

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Jimmy.

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Sorry you had to come all this way.

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It's a long way, right?

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It's a long way.

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Yeah. Sorry.

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Only two things I know about Albuquerque:

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Bugs Bunny should've taken a left turn there, and give me a hundred tries,

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I'll never be able to spell it.

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[CHUCKLES]

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Anyway...

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Uh, as you can see,

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I'm in a-- A bit of a pickle.

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You certainly are.

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[CHUCKLES]

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Forget the property damage and assault charges.

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You face being labeled a sex offender, Jimmy.

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If that happens, it'll follow you for the rest of your life.

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That is insane.

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Okay?

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That is a trumped-up load of horse crap, Chuck. Come on.

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Is that what I tell the judge?

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"Load of horse crap"?

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I'm not the lawyer here.

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It was a Chicago sunroof.

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Sex offender?

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That's not even remotely a...

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[CHUCKLES]

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[SCOFFS]

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Let's talk strategy, okay?

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Because I need you to work your magic and make this whole situation go "poof."

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You got a plan of attack? Huh?

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Come on, I know I haven't made it easy for you, but you are--

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You are the man.

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Right? I know you've got a million legal loopholes that we can dance through, big bag of tricks.

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You know, any clever technicalities, huh?

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Reasonable-doubt-type stuff?

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Come on, Chuck.

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I haven't seen you in, what, five years?

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We barely hear from you.

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Now that you're in it up to your neck, you can't even call me yourself.

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You have Mom call me?

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Mom took it upon herself to call.

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I was letting her know where I was.

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You didn't cry to her on the phone?

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What? No.

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You didn't cry and beg Mom for help?

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Wha--? Jesus. She hears what she wants to hear, okay?

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I'm gonna cry on a payphone in the middle of

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Cook County Jail. Jesus.

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Can we--? Can we talk strategy here, huh?

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Look--

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I know I'm a lousy brother.

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I'm a lousy brother,

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I'm a big screw-up.

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And if I was just a better person,

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I would not only stop letting you down--

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You know what?

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I'd stop letting me down.

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And it's about time that I started to make both of us proud.

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Am I right?

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Guard.

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Wait. Chuck, wait, wait, wait.

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No, no, you can't leave me, no.

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If I don't get out of this, my life is over.

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So long as you understand that.

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Yeah.

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Jimmy, if I do this-- If.

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--do not make a fool out of me.

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I promise I won't.

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Everything you're doing, everything you're involved with, that's over.

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Just tell me what to do.

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Whatever it is, I'll do it.

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Just say it.

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Please, Chuck?

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Help me.

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[♪♪♪]

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[SIGHS]

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[SIGHING]

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[KEYPAD BEEPS]

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[LINE RINGS]

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[PHONE RINGS]

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Hello?

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JIMMY [OVER PHONE]:

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Hey, it's me.

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[GRUNTS]

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Unh. Jimmy?

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What's, uh...?

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Jesus, what time is it?

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Clock says 2, but I think that might be

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Ho Chi Minh's time zone.

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What? What's happening?

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Is Chuck all right?

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Yeah, Chuck...

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Chuck is Chuck. All right?

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Everything's all right. Ahem.

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I just wanted to call you.

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So, uh...

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Hey. What you doing?

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Jimmy...

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No. I'm not talking dirty to you.

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What? You think that's the only reason

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I would call you at this time of night?

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I mean, can we just--?

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Give me a little bit of credit, okay?

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And you're not talking dirty to me either.

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Okay, bye.

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I knew it.

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Joking.

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Just joking,

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having fun with you.

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I am calling you tonight with quality, PG phone conversation.

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PG-13 at worst.

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Uh-huh.

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Hand to God. You know?

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But, uh, if you hang up now and drive straight over,

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limited time only, I'm offering

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a free pedicure and foot bath.

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Is that right? Wow.

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Maybe next time.

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Hey. More for me. Ahem.

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Uh, you're, uh, probably swamped with work anyways, what with that big, fat giant case

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falling right into your lap.

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Which case is that?

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I don't know. Some, uh...

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Some county official

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or something?

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It was in all the papers.

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Craig Kettleman.

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Craig Kettleman.

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Yeah. The primo client your dipwad boss stole right out from under me.

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Nobody stole anybody.

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The Kettlemans made a choice.

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So did the Donner party, when they took that shortcut.

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Come on.

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Hamlin is not that bad.

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And I'm gonna be second chair if it ever goes to trial, so... be happy for me.

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Hey, uh, how much exactly did Kettleman get away with?

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Mm, excuse me.

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Innocent until proven guilty.

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Uh, excuse me, but I'm a taxpayer in this county.

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I think I have a right to know.

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And besides, it's not like

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I'm his lawyer or anything.

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I have to go to sleep.

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So do you. I know you have court in the morning.

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He got away with a million, million six, at least?

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I'm not talking details

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of a case with you. Good night.

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Where did he stash all that dough?

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Besides for buying that idiotic boat.

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Hello? Guilty.

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Hanging up now.

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This guy is...

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You know,

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he's probably a target.

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Somebody might get

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some bad, bad ideas.

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You know, if Kettleman isn't

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careful with that money,

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I mean, his whole family

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could be in danger.

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What do you mean, danger?

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Jimmy, why would you say that?

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What?

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You said the family

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might be in danger.

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I did? I...

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I... Ahem.

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I'm-- I'm drunk. Heh.

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So I'm just, uh...

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I'm thinking out loud.

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I'm not spinning, uh...

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I'm spinning thoughts.

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You sure?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh...

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So I will see you down in the court bowels mañana.

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Good night, Kim.

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Good night, Jimmy.

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I'm no hero.

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[♪♪♪]

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[SIGHS]

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[♪♪♪]

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[CAR DOOR BEEPING]

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[KEYPAD BEEPING]

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[LINE RINGS]

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KETTLEMANS [ON RECORDING]:

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Hello! You've reached

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Team Kettleman!

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CRAIG:

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Leave a message for Craig--

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BETSY: Betsy--

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WARREN: Warren--

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JO JO: And Jo Jo--

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ALL: --after the beep!

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[KEYPAD BEEPING]

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[LINE RINGS]

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KETTLEMANS [ON RECORDING]:

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Hello! You've reached

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Team Kettleman!

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CRAIG:

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Please leave a mess--

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[COINS CLATTERING]

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[KEYPAD BEEPING]

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[LINE RINGS]

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CRAIG [OVER PHONE]:

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Hello?

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[MUFFLED]

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Kettlemans, you're in danger.

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You're in danger.

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I'm sorry, what?

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Craig, who is it?

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I'm not sure.

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Wait, say--?

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Say that again, please?

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[OVER SPEAKER]

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They know about your money.

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Watch out.

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Yeah, what are you trying to say?

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This is a warning.

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You're in danger.

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They're coming

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for your money.

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This is a friendly stranger.

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Your whole family is in danger.

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The money.

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They know about the money.

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You have a terrible connection.

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I'm warning you.

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They know about your money.

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Be careful.

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Can you call back on a better line?

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[IN NORMAL VOICE]

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Kettlemans, you're in danger.

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They're coming for your money.

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Bye.

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CRAIG:

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What did he say?

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We're--

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In danger.

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"They're coming."

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Who--?

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Who's coming?

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[♪♪♪]

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Okay, how about this?

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Time served plus counseling.

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MAN: Can't do it.

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It's his first offense.

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MAN: Can't do it.

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"Can't do it, can't do it."

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Would you work with me here?

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I'm listening, aren't I?

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Well, you're kind of a captive audience.

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What'd you eat for lunch, the whole roast beast?

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Funny.

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Okay. Okay.

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Hear me out.

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Wow.

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The 30 he's done, which is a 60 credit, plus 60 additional days.

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Can't do it.

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Best offer.

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Six months plus the time he's done, halftime for good behavior, out in 90, that's my final.

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That's never gonna happen.

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Oh!

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Come on.

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Now, are you joking?

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Now, that is the best deal you're gonna get.

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I can't do it.

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The guy drove drunk into a shopping center and killed three people.

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Shopping center?

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Desmond Rojas.

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Armed robbery, liquor store.

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He assaulted a cashier with a bottle of Kahlúa.

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Oh, I was thinking

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Darryl Redwood.

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Yeah, okay, my bad.

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Desmond Rojas.

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Okay, go. Start over.

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I am not starting over.

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I'm busting my nut here for 700 a throw, inhaling your B.M. straight from Satan's bunghole, and you can't tell one defendant from another?

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Ninety days with good behavior.

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We're doing this.

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Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

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Say it. Say the words

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"I accept the deal."

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Yeah, I accept--

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I accept the deal.

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[SCOFFS]

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[CELL PHONE RINGING]

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[DOOR CLOSES]

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Good morning.

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What do you mean, what did I mean?

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No, I told you,

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I was drunk. I just--

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Kim, why are you asking me this?

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Oh, damn it. Here.

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I'm in a real rush.

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I didn't have time to get the validation.

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Fine. Nine bucks.

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I-- I don't have it.

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I have 5. Please?

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You know the drill, money or the validation.

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Look, this is an emergency, okay?

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A serious, serious emergency.

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I have to get out of here.

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I promise, on the souls of my forefathers,

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I will get you the stickers when I come back.

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I will get you extra if you just let me go.

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Fine. Fine. You're gonna make me walk back and get the stickers,

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I will walk back and get the stickers.

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I'm not making you do anything.

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Those are the rules.

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Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.

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Screw you, geezer!

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[♪♪♪]

00:16:59

MAN 1:

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Oh, no, just want to make sure we check that back door.

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[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

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MAN 2:

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Copy that, dispatch.

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MAN 3:

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Okay, gentlemen, we're searching in a two block radius.

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[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

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Jimmy.

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What brought you here?

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Me? Uh, I was surfing the police scanner.

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Heard there was big activity out this way.

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There's no business for you.

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Maybe next time.

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Uh, it was a home invasion?

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Uh, the Kettlemans okay?

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We don't know.

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Neighbor was walking the dog last night, saw the front door wide open.

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Place is ransacked, no sign of the family.

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There's no note, so we're still figuring it out.

00:18:00

I gotta get back.

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Yeah, yeah. Of course.

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Good luck.

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Why did you come here?

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I'm supporting a friend in need.

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You wanna be supportive?

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Tell me why you said those things.

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I'm reading tea leaves.

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Same way I knew the Kettlemans needed a lawyer.

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All that money.

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It's logical somebody would come after it.

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So the same night you worry about them, they disappear?

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Yeah, it's crazy.

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It's Ripley's.

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Jimmy. It's not just

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Craig and Betsy Kettleman.

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It's their two kids as well.

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You would say something if you could help find them, right?

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I--I don't know what happened to them.

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Really, I don't know.

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[♪♪♪]

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The longer you stay, the more explaining I have to do.

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I'll talk to you later.

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Hey...

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You'll tell me if there's anything I can do?

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[SIGHS]

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[♪♪♪]

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Everything is gonna be fine.

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It's gonna work out.

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A-okay.

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It's gonna be fine.

00:19:44

[COINS CLATTER]

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[LINE RINGS]

00:19:58

NACHO [ON RECORDING]:

00:19:58

Nacho. Leave it.

00:20:00

Uh... Yes, I'm, uh--

00:20:02

Ahem. This is the party you spoke to the other day, uh, and I sincerely want to help you de-escalate your situation legally and otherwise.

00:20:16

Um, so call me at 146-8729 at your earliest convenience.

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But soon. Please.

00:20:32

[SIGHS]

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[COINS CLATTERING]

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[KEYPAD BEEPING]

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[LINE RINGS]

00:20:50

NACHO [ON RECORDING]:

00:20:50

Nacho. Leave it.

00:20:52

Yeah, Nacho. Hi. Uh...

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Just to clarify. Look,

00:20:56

I don't know anything. Uh...

00:21:00

I have spoken to no one, and there are no rats on this ship.

00:21:04

But for the sake of everyone involved,

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I would just like to open a dialogue.

00:21:11

So 146-8729.

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Call me when you get this.

00:21:30

[COINS CLATTER]

00:21:31

If I didn't say it before, time is of the essence on this matter.

00:21:35

So, uh, I'm gonna hang up now if you're trying to call.

00:21:40

Uh, there's no call waiting here if you get a busy signal.

00:21:44

146-8729. Just keep trying.

00:21:44

I'll be here.

00:21:51

I can put out this fire, if there is a fire.

00:21:55

By hope of hopes, this is all a big misunderstanding.

00:21:59

146-8729.

00:22:18

[RINGS]

00:22:21

Hello?

00:22:23

Hello?

00:22:26

Nacho? Nacho.

00:22:30

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

00:23:08

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

00:23:12

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

00:23:16

[SIGHS]

00:23:17

[♪♪♪]

00:23:28

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

00:23:40

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

00:23:42

Walking. Just walking.

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Strolling along.

00:23:48

[♪♪♪]

00:24:04

[SIREN WAILS]

00:24:05

Oh, thank God. Help. Help.

00:24:07

Down.

00:24:07

Show us your hands.

00:24:08

You guys are cops?

00:24:08

Show us your hands.

00:24:10

I've got bad knees!

00:24:10

Ow! Oh. Unh, unh.

00:24:13

Officers, you're making a mistake.

00:24:15

My name's McGill,

00:24:15

James McGill.

00:24:17

I'm an attorney.

00:24:18

Easy. Easy.

00:24:23

It's his lawyer.

00:24:23

Whose lawyer?

00:24:38

You sure he asked for me?

00:24:40

Going in or what?

00:24:51

Hey. Ahem.

00:24:55

You asked for me, and I have come.

00:24:58

I want to tell you, this was a wise move.

00:25:02

Very smart, because I'm here to help.

00:25:05

Everyone, all parties, but mostly you.

00:25:11

Uh, those two detectives, they just gave me an earful, and what they were telling me is...

00:25:21

It's problematic.

00:25:23

I'm gonna pitch it back to you, so I know we're on the same page.

00:25:28

A neighbor lady saw a suspicious van parked across the street from the Kettlemans' house two nights in a row.

00:25:35

She wrote down the license plate.

00:25:37

It was your license plate.

00:25:39

Cops tracked your van and you, searched it and found blood on the floor.

00:25:47

So here we are.

00:25:53

Um... Um...

00:25:56

They're calling the FBI in on this, which makes it federal.

00:26:02

That's a bad thing, Nacho.

00:26:02

That's very bad.

00:26:05

But if you tell me where the family is, if you give them up now, full cooperation, deep remorse,

00:26:11

I feel very good about knocking your sentence down to the minimum,

00:26:18

18 years.

00:26:23

They take this good behavior thing very seriously, so start here, right here.

00:26:29

[SIGHS]

00:26:31

Tell me the family is okay.

00:26:34

Tell me the kids are okay.

00:26:42

You wanna tell me your thoughts and weigh in?

00:26:46

Does this sound like a plan that you can get behind?

00:26:52

You miserable piece of shit.

00:26:59

You set me up.

00:27:01

I what?

00:27:02

You gave my score to another crew, and now you're setting me up.

00:27:06

What the--? What?

00:27:06

Did the cops beat you?

00:27:09

You're talking like a person with head trauma.

00:27:11

You think you're funny?

00:27:11

What are you saying?

00:27:13

You're saying you had nothing to do with this?

00:27:15

That was your van outside the house.

00:27:17

You weren't there?

00:27:18

Yeah, I was there.

00:27:21

I was casing the place.

00:27:23

Figuring out the best way in and out, what time they went to bed, all that.

00:27:27

They were fine when I left.

00:27:27

That's it.

00:27:30

You had nothing to do with the Kettlemans?

00:27:33

I was never in the house.

00:27:36

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

00:27:38

What about the blood in your van?

00:27:41

They DNA my ride, all they're gonna find is the blood of your skate rat twins, plus whatever piss and shit you leaked out when you were in there.

00:27:51

Nobody's been in the back of that van since.

00:27:58

I don't understand.

00:27:59

Here's what I understand, counselor.

00:28:04

I told my plan to one other person.

00:28:09

One.

00:28:10

You.

00:28:12

Now here I am under arrest.

00:28:15

Go figure.

00:28:17

I don't know anything about a setup or another crew. Heh.

00:28:24

You know what?

00:28:24

I don't even care.

00:28:27

The cops are out there right now poking into my business, and if they find something on me or my partners, for real, it's gonna be bad for you.

00:28:37

Really bad.

00:28:41

Bad?

00:28:43

Bad as in...?

00:28:44

You get me out of here today, or you're a dead man.

00:29:02

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:29:11

Oh, hey.

00:29:14

I asked if you knew anything.

00:29:16

You didn't tell me you were representing the lead suspect.

00:29:18

I didn't know at the time.

00:29:18

DUNST: He give up anything?

00:29:21

What?

00:29:23

Did he tell you where the family is?

00:29:25

He doesn't know.

00:29:27

What does that mean?

00:29:27

He gave them to somebody?

00:29:29

He doesn't know because he didn't do it.

00:29:31

Give me a break.

00:29:32

Guys, can you give us just a minute?

00:29:38

Jimmy, that family is in real danger.

00:29:41

You don't have to stand behind attorney/client privilege.

00:29:44

I'm not.

00:29:45

These people can be buried in a box sucking air through a straw.

00:29:48

I'm sorry if that's where they are.

00:29:50

But my guy didn't do it.

00:29:50

How are you so sure?

00:29:55

You know what you're gonna do?

00:29:56

You're gonna get your special CSI people and test the blood from that van.

00:30:00

I guarantee you one billion percent it's not the Kettlemans'.

00:30:03

Whose is it?

00:30:06

It's not the Kettlemans'.

00:30:06

Just test it.

00:30:09

That'll take weeks, if we can even get a sample to compare it to.

00:30:12

Well, isn't that convenient?

00:30:14

You've got an innocent man in there right now who I demand you release with an apology.

00:30:20

There are no other suspects.

00:30:20

There's no evidence that points to anyone else.

00:30:25

I wanna see the crime scene.

00:30:25

You guys are missing something.

00:30:28

RUSSO:

00:30:28

Screw you, "missing something."

00:30:30

No, detectives, I, um...

00:30:30

I think that's a good idea.

00:30:34

A good idea?

00:30:34

KIM: Yes.

00:30:36

We should invite Mr. McGill to the house.

00:30:38

Why?

00:30:38

Yeah, why?

00:30:49

RUSSO:

00:30:49

So, what'd we miss?

00:31:13

This is the son's room,

00:31:13

Warren.

00:31:16

Twelve years old.

00:31:34

Jo Jo's room.

00:31:37

KIM:

00:31:37

She's 7.

00:31:49

All right, you wanted me to crack, mission accomplished.

00:31:53

But I'm telling you, my client didn't do this.

00:31:56

Varga was outside the night the family disappeared.

00:31:59

That is a fact.

00:32:00

Advocate for the guy all you want after we get these people back safe.

00:32:04

In the meantime, help us.

00:32:07

Where's the doll?

00:32:08

Where's the what?

00:32:10

Uh, got little shoes, bunch of clothes, table and chairs, hairbrush, but where's the doll that goes with this?

00:32:17

In every picture of this girl, she's holding the same doll.

00:32:20

So where's the doll?

00:32:20

What does it matter?

00:32:23

Doll is gone, girl is gone, which means doll and girl are most likely together, which means--

00:32:27

I have no idea.

00:32:29

JIMMY:

00:32:29

Which means the kid wasn't dragged out of the house, ipso facto.

00:32:34

Wait.

00:32:34

What are you saying?

00:32:37

Maybe the Kettlemans kidnapped themselves.

00:32:43

That's it.

00:32:43

You're done.

00:32:44

Let's go.

00:32:44

It makes perfect sense.

00:32:46

How? Why would they do that?

00:32:48

They stole million dollars plus, right?

00:32:51

You wanna get away with that cash, what do you do?

00:32:54

Run?

00:32:54

No, you can't.

00:32:55

If you run, everyone knows you're guilty.

00:32:58

Ah. But if you're kidnapped, you're a victim. Right?

00:33:02

They staged this to throw everyone off.

00:33:05

You guys are looking in the wrong place.

00:33:07

Who knows how many miles into

00:33:07

Mexico or Canada they could be?

00:33:10

You gotta put the word out.

00:33:13

Oh, come on, you don't think it's possible I'm right?

00:33:16

It's possible.

00:33:16

Unlikely.

00:33:19

JIMMY: Unlikely?

00:33:19

All their cars are here.

00:33:22

There's no record of a taxi or car service to the house.

00:33:25

They didn't get on any planes or buses or trains.

00:33:27

You checked all that?

00:33:27

Yes. The doll, it's not news.

00:33:31

We saw it was missing.

00:33:31

So where is it?

00:33:33

The girl was scared, crying.

00:33:35

Bad guy lets the kid take the doll to shut her up.

00:33:39

What? You don't think that's possible?

00:33:43

I need to talk to you, alone.

00:33:48

I've gotta tell you something, and promise not to be upset.

00:33:51

No way am I making that promise.

00:33:51

I called the Kettlemans.

00:33:55

After I hung up with you,

00:33:55

I gave them a warning call.

00:33:57

A warning call?

00:33:58

I was worried my guy Varga was going after their money, and he was.

00:34:02

He was gonna rip them off.

00:34:03

I deduced it from a conversation we had.

00:34:06

It was lawyer-to-client, so there was, you know, confidentiality issues.

00:34:10

But I called the Kettlemans anonymously to warn them.

00:34:14

Anonymously? You did--?

00:34:14

Oh, God, you didn't--?

00:34:16

You didn't do the sex robot voice, did you?

00:34:19

I did, the tube and the whole thing, which probably scared the living shit out of them, and they took off.

00:34:24

Which, you know, file that under unintended consequences, but you believe me now?

00:34:31

Uh--

00:34:33

Great.

00:34:33

Now we have to find them.

00:34:36

Or better yet, get the cops to let Varga go, because right now my ass is on the highway to the danger zone.

00:34:43

Why are you in danger?

00:34:43

Nacho Varga, he didn't kidnap the family, but he's a bad guy.

00:34:50

He's a very bad guy, and if the cops keep pushing him they're gonna find something, and when that happens,

00:34:56

Nacho blames me, and then his guys... turn me into a meat piñata.

00:35:01

Jimmy, tell the police.

00:35:02

There's no way

00:35:02

I'm gonna rat on this guy.

00:35:04

I will never be safe.

00:35:06

I have to convince the cops I'm right, get them to stop looking at Nacho and catch the Kettlemans on the run.

00:35:12

And if they never catch them?

00:35:14

The Kettlemans?

00:35:14

You've met these people, right?

00:35:17

They're not exactly masterminds.

00:35:19

They will be caught if the cops are looking.

00:35:22

So you tell them to, would you?

00:35:24

The FBI too. I heard they're getting in on this.

00:35:26

Why would the FBI listen to me?

00:35:26

Hamlin. They'll listen to him.

00:35:30

APD, at least.

00:35:32

You talk to Howard, you explain things to him.

00:35:35

He has clout with these people.

00:35:37

What, is that a no, or...?

00:35:39

Hamlin will never agree to it.

00:35:39

The Kettlemans are our clients.

00:35:41

This would mean incriminating them.

00:35:43

You see? This is why people hate lawyers.

00:35:46

It's Hamlin's call, and Hamlin will never agree.

00:35:49

And even if it were up to me, you know I couldn't.

00:35:54

I'm sorry, I just--

00:35:54

I get it.

00:36:02

Where are you going?

00:36:02

I'm gonna go talk to Nacho, try to make him see reason.

00:36:07

To beg.

00:36:17

Come on.

00:36:19

Come on.

00:36:30

Right. Yeah, hey. Ahem.

00:36:33

I was a jerk, okay?

00:36:37

So I will pay you what I owe you plus interest if you just let me come through.

00:36:47

I suggest you find parking somewhere else.

00:36:50

Somewhere else, as in where, somewhere else?

00:36:52

Not my concern.

00:36:54

Actually, this is your job, so by definition it's your concern.

00:36:58

So pump out the ticket and open the stupid gate already, please.

00:37:02

I mean, I don't have time for this.

00:37:06

[HORN HONKS]

00:37:06

[SCOFFS]

00:37:10

All--

00:37:13

All right.

00:37:15

[HORN HONKS]

00:37:17

Great.

00:37:17

I'm gonna park right here.

00:37:22

I don't think you wanna be doing that.

00:37:23

JIMMY:

00:37:23

Oh, yeah?

00:37:26

What are you gonna do, you got a poop-filled diaper in there?

00:37:29

You gonna throw it at me?

00:37:30

Are you gonna gum me to death, huh, geezer?

00:37:34

Oh! Aah! Ow! Ow!

00:37:36

[GROANING]

00:37:37

Ow! Ow!

00:37:41

We're talking about a family.

00:37:41

Mom, dad, two kids.

00:37:45

Lawyer's got this bullshit theory about them staging this, running off with the money.

00:37:48

Know the story?

00:37:51

Yeah. County treasurer embezzled funds.

00:37:53

I read the paper.

00:37:54

We got this gangbanger dead to rights.

00:37:56

Only problem is your guy over there.

00:38:00

He needs to help us get his scumbag client to talk.

00:38:03

So, what do you say?

00:38:03

You onboard?

00:38:06

Help us do some good.

00:38:10

Sure.

00:38:12

Okay, you assaulted this man.

00:38:12

Give me a break.

00:38:14

I barely touched the guy.

00:38:14

You laid hands on him first.

00:38:17

Finger. I laid finger on him.

00:38:19

RUSSO:

00:38:19

Whatever your interpretation, it was still assault.

00:38:22

DUNST:

00:38:22

This gentleman is willing to let this go, not press charges, if you help us out.

00:38:26

Get your client to tell us where he has the family stashed.

00:38:28

Guys, I'm the definition of a broken record on this.

00:38:32

Nacho is nacho man,

00:38:32

comprendo?

00:38:34

Nobody took the Kettlemans.

00:38:34

The Kettlemans took themselves.

00:38:38

You gonna keep playing that line, it's gonna go rough.

00:38:42

You know what?

00:38:42

Do your worst.

00:38:44

All right, let's go. To booking.

00:38:44

Yeah. Sure. Fine.

00:38:48

Perfect end to a perfect day.

00:38:49

Wait a second.

00:38:49

I changed my mind.

00:38:52

I'm sorry, what?

00:38:52

I don't wanna press charges.

00:38:55

We talked about this.

00:38:55

You wanna press charges.

00:38:57

No. No, I don't.

00:38:59

What are you doing, buddy?

00:38:59

I thought you had our backs.

00:39:03

No, I don't think

00:39:03

I said that, buddy.

00:39:06

RUSSO:

00:39:06

What, you get a chance to do the right thing and puss out?

00:39:09

Mm... Yeah.

00:39:09

Well, I guess it's my loss.

00:39:16

Hey, Cagney, Lacey, when you realize how wrong you are about all this,

00:39:20

I'll take an edible arrangement as a sorry, heavy on the pineapple.

00:39:24

[SIGHS]

00:39:28

JIMMY:

00:39:28

Hey. Hold up. How come you let me off the hook back there?

00:39:33

I'm going back to work.

00:39:34

Why don't you quit while you're ahead?

00:39:36

I refuse to believe it's because you have something resembling a heart inside your body.

00:39:40

You're not gonna have a heart inside your body in about five seconds.

00:39:42

Don't tell me, all right?

00:39:45

I already know why you did it.

00:39:46

Yeah? Why's that?

00:39:49

Because you believe me.

00:39:50

That family kidnapped themselves.

00:39:53

[CHUCKLES]

00:39:55

All right,

00:39:55

I believe you.

00:39:57

I knew it. I knew it.

00:39:57

Finally, someone believes me.

00:40:01

[LAUGHS]

00:40:02

Why do you believe me?

00:40:02

I heard the details.

00:40:05

Your story makes sense.

00:40:05

Of course it does.

00:40:08

Devil's advocate, like the cop said, the Kettlemans' cars are still at their house.

00:40:13

No record of them leaving.

00:40:14

How'd they get out of the country?

00:40:16

They didn't.

00:40:17

Odds are they didn't get out of the neighborhood.

00:40:20

Come again?

00:40:20

Look, when I was still on the job back in Philly, we had this case.

00:40:26

Hold up, hold up.

00:40:26

Now, wait.

00:40:28

"On the job," as in, you were a cop on the job?

00:40:32

This bookie disappeared after the Super Bowl.

00:40:35

Cowboys-Steelers.

00:40:37

Took $6 million in bets and skipped town when things didn't go his way.

00:40:41

Everybody thought he was on the beach in the Bahamas, or dead in the Jersey Pine

00:40:44

Barrens. Wasn't the case.

00:40:48

He was two doors down from where he lived in a foreclosed house.

00:40:52

Hid there for six months without anyone suspecting him.

00:40:55

But why? Why not run?

00:40:57

That's what everybody expects.

00:41:00

It's human nature to want to stay close to home.

00:41:03

And if this Kettleman figured out how to do it, that's what he did.

00:41:11

Nobody wants to leave home.

00:41:21

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

00:41:42

[♪♪♪]

00:41:52

♪ Baby, you know me well ♪

00:41:54

♪ You know I mean what I say ♪

00:41:57

♪ Before I say farewell ♪

00:41:59

♪ I'll give you one more day

00:41:59

So you can ♪

00:42:02

♪ Find out what's happening ♪

00:42:05

♪ Find out what's happening

00:42:05

Before long ♪

00:42:09

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

00:42:11

♪ If you don't

00:42:11

Find out what's happening ♪

00:42:15

♪ You're gonna find out

00:42:15

That I'm gone ♪

00:42:18

♪ Gone, gone, gone, gone ♪

00:42:22

♪ Tell me

00:42:22

What you're gonna do ♪

00:42:24

♪ You better

00:42:24

Make up your mind ♪

00:42:27

♪ It all depends on you ♪

00:42:29

♪ Oh, I'm leaving you behind ♪

00:42:31

♪ You'd better

00:42:31

Find out what's happening ♪

00:42:35

♪ Find out what's happening

00:42:35

Before long ♪

00:42:39

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

00:42:41

♪ If you don't

00:42:41

Find out what's happening ♪

00:42:45

♪ You're gonna find out

00:42:45

That I'm gone ♪

00:42:49

♪ Gone, gone, gone, gone ♪

00:43:13

♪ Baby, you know it's true ♪

00:43:15

♪ We've been through

00:43:15

Thick and thin ♪

00:43:18

♪ But if you don't

00:43:18

Come through ♪

00:43:20

♪ You won't ever

00:43:20

See me again ♪

00:43:22

♪ You'd better

00:43:22

Find out what's happening ♪

00:43:26

♪ Find out what's happening

00:43:26

Before long ♪

00:43:30

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

00:43:32

♪ If you don't

00:43:32

Find out what's happening ♪

00:43:36

♪ You're gonna find

00:43:36

Your daddy gone ♪

00:43:39

♪ Gone, gone, gone, gone ♪

00:43:43

♪ Find out what's happening ♪

00:43:46

♪ Find out what's happening ♪

00:43:48

♪ Find out what's happening ♪

00:43:51

♪ Find out what's happening ♪

00:43:53

♪ Find out what's happening ♪♪

00:43:58

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

00:44:03

WOMAN:

00:44:03

Okay? Let's do this. And...

00:44:05

KETTLEMANS:

00:44:05

♪ There was a farmer had a dog

00:44:05

And Bingo was his name-o ♪

00:44:09

♪ B-I-N-G-O ♪

00:44:11

♪ B-I-N-G-O ♪

00:44:13

♪ B-I-N-G-O ♪

00:44:15

♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪

00:44:17

♪ There was a farmer had a dog

00:44:17

And Bingo was his name-o ♪

00:44:21

[HANDS CLAP]

00:44:21

♪ I-N-G-O ♪

00:44:22

[HANDS CLAP]

00:44:22

♪ I-N-G-O ♪

00:44:24

[HANDS CLAP]

00:44:24

♪ I-N-G-O ♪

00:44:26

♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪

00:44:27

♪ There was a farmer had a dog

00:44:27

And Bingo was his name-o ♪

00:44:31

[HANDS CLAP]

00:44:31

♪ N-G-O ♪

00:44:32

Hey, it's me. Listen to this.

00:44:34

♪ N-G-O

00:44:34

And Bingo was his name-o... ♪

00:44:38

You hear that?

00:44:38

I found your dumb-ass clients.

00:44:40

[HANDS CLAP]

00:44:40

♪ G-O ♪

00:44:42

[STAMMERING]

00:44:43

It's a long story.

00:44:45

Look, I'm taking them back to their place.

00:44:48

We'll meet you there.

00:44:48

Give me a couple hours.

00:44:52

[HANDS CLAP]

00:44:52

♪ O ♪

00:44:54

♪ O

00:44:54

And Bingo was his name-o ♪♪

00:44:57

Yay.

00:44:57

That was great, guys.

00:45:00

Yeah. I think we have time for one more before bed.

00:45:02

Do we have to?

00:45:04

Oh, hey, I don't know about you, but I would love a little

00:45:06

"John Jacob Jingleheimer

00:45:06

Schmidt."

00:45:09

You know what?

00:45:09

Let's really have fun with this one, okay,

00:45:11

Kettle-team?

00:45:12

Let's do this. And...

00:45:12

Here's Johnny!

00:45:15

[ALL SCREAMING]

00:45:17

Hey. Hey, Warren. Hey, Jo Jo.

00:45:17

Uh, sorry about that.

00:45:20

I'm your uncle Jimmy, all right?

00:45:22

Now, your parents are gonna take you down the mountain back to your house.

00:45:26

That sound good?

00:45:27

Uh, we...

00:45:27

Yeah. See? They're excited.

00:45:29

Mr. McGill, can we talk about this?

00:45:31

No, we can't. Okay?

00:45:31

You're done here.

00:45:33

Pack up your stuff because we're heading back.

00:45:36

Civilization awaits.

00:45:36

Finally.

00:45:39

[FINGERS SNAP]

00:45:40

Look, please, can we just talk this through?

00:45:42

Not an option. You do this on your own recognizance, or the cops drag you by your heels.

00:45:48

Let's go. Kettlemans,

00:45:50

BETSY: No. No. time to ship out.

00:45:52

Yes, you are. This is happening.

00:45:52

No. No, this is not happening!

00:45:56

JIMMY:

00:45:56

Yes, Kettlemans.

00:45:57

No!

00:45:57

Yes, you are doing this now.

00:45:59

Let go! No!

00:46:17

Yeah.

00:46:27

[♪♪♪]