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Pimento

[GRUNTS THEN SIGHING]

[SIGHS]

Don't worry about that, all right?

Look down.

Look at the grass.

[CHUCK SIGHING]

Kick off your shoes like this.

When was the last time you did that?

Feels good, right?

Yeah.

Grass between your toes.

Feels nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hm.

Well, I think maybe--

Maybe it's time we go in.

We have a lot of work to do.

We need to get ready.

You need to get ready.

If I were Schweikart and Cokely,

I'd seek a restraining order.

Turn this into a civil harassment issue.

Schweikart and Cokely can come after me with a restraining order or anything else they got.

I'll be ready.

Confidence is good.

Facts on your side, better.

Know what you're walking into.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

House needs a coat of paint.

Yeah.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[♪♪♪]

[GIGGLING]

MIKE:

I got her all her shots.

Healthy gums.

And no worms. No fleas.

I promise you, if the little sucker has fleas,

I'll kick her butt myself.

Yeah, it's just a dog...

Hey, it's good to have a dog around.

Bad guys think twice about breaking into a house with a dog.

STACEY:

Yeah, I bet that one's gonna keep a lot of burglars away.

It's just a thought.

You know, you can always keep her over at my place.

Kaylee can visit her any time she wants.

Well, if you decide to keep her,

I got a giant bag of puppy chow out in the car for you.

All the supplies.

Everything you need.

[SIGHS]

All right.

Aw...

What's that?

The dog can stay here.

You sure?

Yes.

Thank you.

All right. Done.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Excuse me a minute.

Yeah?

Sure.

Yup.

Got it.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. Just a lead on a job opportunity.

Your Honor, Mr. Schweikart and his cohorts are attempting to keep me away from their victims.

Victims?

My clients. Yes.

You're denying me access.

Even the worst prisoners in this building are allowed access to a lawyer.

Are you saying my poor, elderly clients have fewer rights than jail inmates?

Not at all, and no one is denying Mr. McGill access to his clients.

We're denying access to the property.

It's semantics.

Which is well within

Sandpiper Crossing's rights.

The building's private property.

Paid for by the residents.

But managed by licensed professionals.

Okay.

One at a time, gentlemen.

Mr. Schweikart, you're denying him access on what grounds?

These assisted living residents have a daily routine that they're used to.

Mr. McGill, who is loud and flamboyant, is a disturbance to these routines.

Residents who want to see a lawyer, free to leave whenever they want.

Leave whenever they want?

We're talking about elderly and infirm people here.

The most common phrase in this place?

"I've fallen and I can't get up."

There's phone consultations, mail and messenger services.

There's plenty of other ways to confer with clients.

But for residents who don't want to be afflicted with Mr. McGill's presence, this becomes an issue of civil harassment.

Wow, you are stretching that definition to its limit.

And FYI, old people adore me.

Okay. I've heard enough.

I have enough here to let me rule on this restraining order.

Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

Don't worry, Chuck.

That's not smoke you smell.

That's me. Heh, heh.

This mo-fo is on fire.

Your baby bro kicked some Schweikart ass today.

What the hell's all this?

There was a delivery while you were in court.

Schweikart and Cokely sent this? What is it?

The served interrogatories on each class representative.

This box is deposition notices.

Documents calling into question the mental health of our elderly clients.

Attempting to stop the class from being certified on the grounds they're not competent.

Oh, this is just the beginning.

They're gonna continue this document dump until we're drowning in paperwork.

All right.

We can deal with this.

I mean, hey. It's, uh--

It's just paperwork. Right?

It's no big deal.

Just hit it head on.

Jimmy.

Prioritize.

The most important stuff first.

Or is it better to deal with the easy stuff?

You know, get that off the decks.

You tell me, Chuck. You just point to a box. We can do this.

Jimmy, we need to talk.

Chuck.

Sit down, won't you?

No, I'm good.

I know you're not gonna like what I have to say next.

But facts are facts.

And what we're facing here...

A case this size, it is not a two-man job. We need help.

No.

And for the good of the clients, we need to refer this case--

Don't say it.

Refer it out to HHM.

Damn it, Chuck. No. Come on.

We can do this.

We're doing great on our own.

We don't need Hamlin or anyone else. I mean, hey.

We can Erin Brockovich the shit out of this case.

Erin Brockovich didn't do it alone.

She and Ed Masry brought in heavy hitters from Los Angeles to get that case across the goal line.

And that's what we need to do.

And there's no shame in that.

This is our case.

Yes, it's ours.

And the task ahead is monumental.

Could we do it alone?

Could two men alone build the Brooklyn Bridge? Maybe.

But it would take forever.

Just how long do you think the residents of Sandpiper Crossing have?

Referring this case to HHM is for the good of the clients.

That argument you won today against the restraining order, the judge was never gonna grant that.

Schweikart is throwing softballs.

And he's gonna keep on throwing them over and over.

We'll be busy swatting them away, we'll never spend time on the actual case.

This case will span years.

And we don't have the capital to carry it forward by ourselves.

We simply don't.

[SIGHS THEN SCOFFS]

Fine.

So?

The case goes to HHM?

Hail Satan.

I submit to the dark side.

I'll call Kim and arrange a meeting.

All right. Good, Jimmy.

Thank you.

I know you'll come to see that it's for the best.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

I guess I'll have to get an office right next to yours.

Finally out of the mailroom, huh?

[LINE RINGING]

[GRUNTING]

Yes. Hello.

No. It's me.

[SIREN WAILING AND

CAR HORNS HONKING IN DISTANCE]

[DOOR OPENS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

This the place where we wait?

Think so.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

So...

What'd our guy tell you about the job?

Not much.

It's a protection job.

Civilian.

Guy is as green as they come, but we'll be in there to make sure things fly right.

You been doing this long?

I just assume we're all heavy hitters.

And it makes sense. The vet recommends the best of the best.

Dealing with some of these ethnic types, blood tends to run a little hotter.

That's just science.

Physiology.

There's historical precedent.

Know what I'm saying?

So, what you packing?

A pimento.

Sorry, what?

Pimento sandwich.

[CHUCKLES]

That's funny.

Pimento.

No, I mean, what are you carrying?

You know, the piece?

What's the make?

Pimento is a cheese.

They call it the caviar of the south.

You don't want to tell me what you're carrying, so be it.

But you don't have to be a douche about it.

Just told you what I'm carrying.

So you're saying you don't have a gun?

Is that what you're saying?

How are you here without a gun?

You have a gun?

Yeah.

Yeah. Of course.

He's got a gun.

I got at least two guns on me that I'll tell you about.

I go old school with a Wilson Combat 1911.

I got a Glock 22 Gen 3.

And those are just the ones

I'll tell you about.

Mm.

I mean, what the hell?

Really?

How do you not pack a gun?

[CAR DOOR OPENS]

Hi. Hello.

Uh, my name is Price.

Um, actually, that's not my name.

But, uh, I have a nephew named Price.

I've always kind of liked that name.

Anyway, we're not dealing with names today.

You can tell me or not tell me yours.

Or a fake one is fine.

Um, if I need to talk to you,

I'd prefer something other than "Hey, you."

Either way, you all come highly recommended, so thank you.

First order of business, we have a long drive ahead of us.

Uh, I have a cooler of water in the car, some soft drinks.

I don't drink coffee, but there is a diner on the corner.

Also a bathroom in there in case you need to go before we go.

Second order.

Uh, money.

Just to be clear that the agreed upon fee of $500 per man is agreed upon.

If that's acceptable--

Yeah, I have a thought.

Yeah.

How about you give me and Man Mountain 750 each?

And send Uncle Fester there home. He's not carrying a gun.

He's useless.

Is that true?

You didn't bring a gun?

I didn't think

I'd need one.

[CHUCKLES]

It's a protection job.

It's basic common sense that you need a gun to protect your employer.

I mean, duh.

You're dead weight.

He's just a third wheel without a piece.

I'll tell you what.

If I need a gun,

I'll use one of his.

Really? One of my guns?

How do you picture that happening exactly?

Well, I guess I'm gonna take it from you.

That-- That is just special.

Huh?

Take. How are you gonna take one of my guns?

Come on, Billy Jackoff.

Take my gun from me.

Let me see it.

Here.

I'll make it easy for you.

You can make it not so easy.

Sure thing.

You got it.

What the--? Son of a-- Unh!

[GASPING

AND COUGHING]

Okay. Let's see what you got.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

A guy like you...

I'll bet you'd have an ankle holster, wouldn't you?

You know, that's cute.

What else?

[GRUNTING

AND COUGHING]

Wow, now, that's impressive.

So many guns,

I don't know which one to use.

How about you?

You want one?

All right.

[DOOR OPENS]

Let's go.

But we need three guys.

No. No, we don't.

Come on. Let's go.

Oh, he'll be fine.

And now that

I'm doing the job alone,

I get the full 1500.

We agree upon that?

Sure.

[MAN CONTINUES

GASPING AND GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

JIMMY:

You got this, okay?

No problem.

Yes.

The suit okay?

Is it too tight or too hot?

Yeah.

No, I mean. No. No. It's good.

Well, you look good. Oh--

Can't even tell that's under there.

It was a good idea.

Yeah. At any point, it's too much, you're uncomfortable, we'll turn around and come home.

You want maybe, like, a safe word?

How about

"get me the hell home"?

That'll work. Okay.

Let's do this.

Let's do this.

JIMMY:

Okay.

Looking good.

We're just going for a little ride.

Here.

Let me get that for you.

Here you go.

[SIGHS]

CHUCK: Jimmy.

Just a sec.

Oh, crap.

What is it?

I must have left my stupid phone on last night. It's dead.

Well, could you put it in the trunk?

Oh. Yeah.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Okay. Thanks.

That everyone?

They'll be here in one minute.

Anyone still have a phone, add it to the collection now.

Okay. Shut it down.

Okay. Got it.

[BEEPING]

How you doing?

You doing all right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Great stuff.

[JIMMY GRUNTING]

Okay.

We're walking.

Walking in, Chuck.

[CHUCK SIGHING]

Here we go.

[APPLAUSE]

Good to see you. Welcome home.

Howard, you didn't need to do all this.

Oh, I couldn't have stopped them if I wanted to.

Come on, let's get you upstairs.

Yeah. Sure.

Francis.

Brenda. Jose, you shaved.

To date, we have

68 very willing plaintiffs signed to the class-action, with the hopes of raising that number to 350 or more.

Many more, now that we know Sandpiper has facilities in five states.

Fraud, unfair and deceptive trade practices, and racketeering.

Jesus. Heh, heh.

Guys, this is...

Well, no case is ever a slam dunk.

But I feel as confident about this as anything that's come through our doors.

Francis, start putting together teams to travel out of state.

Talk to these residents.

Pair fourths with our best second years.

Laura will take care of the arrangements.

Kim, Daniel. Take the list of clients Jimmy's signed.

Introduce yourself as the face of HHM.

Make them feel secure and confident.

Hey, Howard.

I'm glad you're all excited.

But can we slow down a second and discuss terms, maybe?

Oh, of course. Kind of shot out of a cannon with this case.

It's exciting stuff you have here.

I get it.

Look, Chuck is already an equity partner.

You, as the lawyer who brought this case to the firm, we could guarantee you, say, 20 percent of the common fund share of the final settlement.

That will work.

That's a few years down the road.

As for money for you now, uh, we don't do referral fees.

Chuck will agree.

HHM doesn't view that as ethical.

As we discussed.

But what we could do is arrange an of-counsel fee for the time that you've already put in.

Time that you spent building the case.

I think we could go as high as 20,000.

That, too, will work.

Great.

Give us an invoice.

I'll have Helen cut you a check.

Oh, got it right here.

And I'd like to use 312 as an office.

It's right next to Chuck's.

I'm sorry?

Three-twelve.

I know, it's got that view that clients love, but you know what?

That's a waste of space.

The waiting area by the kitchen is just as good.

Um...

Well, come on, guys.

I mean, I need an office.

Can I have the room?

Everybody, please.

Just give us a few.

Um, Howard--

When the room's clear, Chuck.

Jimmy. Jimmy,

I'm just gonna say it.

You're not working here.

What are you talking about?

You said this case is a slam dunk.

Yes. We want the case.

We don't want, um...

Uh...

The case is all we want.

[SCOFFS]

You gotta be...

You're serious?

I walk in here with a multi-million dollar class-action lawsuit on a damn platinum platter.

A case that I found, that I made happen.

And you don't want me?

Why in Christ not?

Well, I know that you hate me, Howard.

You better believe, feeling goes both ways.

But I'm willing to set that aside to work with you on this.

Why can't you do the same for me?

What is it that you can't let go of? Huh?

What slight did I make to your fine, upstanding character that you can't forgive?

A majority decision has been made by myself and the partners.

All due respect to you, Chuck, we are not taking in any new associates into the firm.

Bullshit! New associates?

Someone walks in with a case like this, you beg them to be partner.

Tell me why.

You didn't want me then.

Okay.

You don't want me now?

Explain it.

Howard.

I don't know what to say.

I am very disappointed.

I really think you should reconsider.

I'm sorry, but no.

I think it's best if Jimmy takes the of-counsel fee.

We could probably up it a bit.

Keep in mind.

You will be well-compensated in the back end.

It's easy money, Jimmy.

No reason not to take it.

Go to hell, Howard.

I'm not giving you my case.

And I'm gonna tell every one of those clients what a lying miserable pig fucker you are.

I will burn the whole thing to the ground before I give it to you.

Okay, then, if that's your decision.

Good luck to you moving forward.

Oh...

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

What the hell just happened?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Yeah. Come.

Hi.

Was wondering if you had a moment?

Sure.

Just give me a second.

What's up?

I wanted to talk about what happened today.

With Sandpiper Crossing, things didn't work out.

It was unfortunate.

It was a good case.

But...things happen.

I'm just trying to understand why.

Jimmy found that case.

He built it.

Did all of the leg work.

The class-action doesn't exist without him.

He deserves a seat at the table.

I understand.

But the decision has been made, Kim.

So...thank you for your input.

But...why?

The partners have made a decision and the why is not your concern.

I think it is my concern.

And why is that?

Because he's my friend.

And the way I see it, you're not treating him fairly.

The way you see it?

I don't know what image you have of him, past or present, or whatever he did or said, but Jimmy is a good lawyer.

And he works very hard.

Did your friend send you in here to say that?

No.

I'm saying it because I believe it.

Well, duly noted.

Want to know what I believe?

I believe that you're way out of your depth in this matter.

So the next time that you want to come in here and tell me what

I'm doing wrong, you are welcome to keep it to yourself.

Because I don't care.

Stop.

Close the door.

They're late.

Must be traffic.

I wonder how this is supposed to work.

I mean, who goes first?

Do I hand over the pills first?

Or do they give me the money and then I hand over the pills?

I mean, I guess it makes sense if we just exchanged at the same time, right?

I mean, that's fair.

Maybe we just count to three.

Probably the less talk, the better.

Right.

Yeah. I suppose you could really overthink something like this.

Yeah.

Well, in any case--

Here is what is going to happen.

You're gonna take the money.

You're going to count it.

If it's all there, you hand them the pills.

Easy peasy.

I knew we needed three guys.

I knew it. It's a three-man job.

God.

Hello. Hi.

Do you have it?

I do.

Do you have the money?

Is it all there?

Um...

We're short 20.

Twenty dollars.

That's fine.

Agreed amount or no deal.

You serious?

You saying

I intentionally shorted you?

No. Mistakes happen.

You really willing to blow up this deal over 20 bucks?

Are you?

It's all there. Eighty milligram pills, still factory sealed.

You can pay me now.

Huh?

Oh.

[SIGHS]

How did you know?

Huh?

How did you know not to bring a gun?

This 1500, I'll just say you're getting a bargain.

I put in a lot of leg work before coming here.

Now, that fella you just met with, name is Ignacio Varga.

He runs with a connected crew of drug dealers.

This deal he's doing with you, he's doing outside his crew.

He doesn't want his bosses to know.

So it was in his best interest that things go very smoothly.

Wow.

Hm.

The lesson is, if you're gonna be a criminal, do your homework.

Wait. I'm not a bad guy.

I didn't say you were a bad guy.

I said you're a criminal.

What's the difference?

I've known good criminals and bad cops.

Bad priests.

Honorable thieves.

You can be on one side of the law or the other.

But if you make a deal with somebody, you keep your word.

You can go home today with your money and never do this again.

But you took something that wasn't yours.

And you sold it for a profit.

You're now a criminal.

Good one, bad one?

That's up to you.

I can get more pills.

And I am sure that fella will keep buying.

Why don't you get us home?

You can sleep on it before you decide.

Hey.

Hey.

I was worried about you.

I must have called a dozen times.

Sorry. My phone died.

It's one of the perks of living in Chuckland.

Nowhere to plug in.

But tonight, it's Jimmyland.

I've got gin. I've got tequila.

I've got good Kentucky bourbon.

And you may partake with me in any beverage of your choice on one condition.

You have to listen to me rant about what an absolute unwashed asshole your boss is.

Jimmy--

No. It's true.

Don't deny it. He has reached a level of douche baggery that will live on for generations.

Passed down by windtalkers and the like.

He'd rather tank a multi-million dollar case than work with me.

That's sick.

He has a sickness.

He hates me that much?

I hate him more.

What you drinking?

Jimmy.

Yeah, I wanna grab him by that stupid knit tie of his and swing him around.

Jimmy--

Hamlindigo blue.

How about Hamlindigo blow me?

Jimmy!

I think you should take the deal.

What?

I think you should slow down and think about it.

Because taking the deal really is the best thing for you.

You'll find yourself a proper office, your office.

You'll build your practice.

You'll leave Hamlin and HHM behind.

Be your own man.

You want me to give up the case?

My case?

I want you... to be happy.

And I know you want to stay with the case, but... you'll get all the financial reward without the risk.

How can that be bad?

You come here peddling that horseshit on me?

God, you?

You sure know where your bread is buttered, huh?

Don't wanna go up against the boss, that it?

You're like a--

You're like a damn pod person.

What did Hamlin promise you?

Please tell me he didn't buy you off cheap.

Did he promise you the office I asked for?

Or did he just swear never to move you back downstairs?

Take the deal.

[DOOR BELLS JINGLE

THEN DOOR CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, son of a bitch.

[SIGHS]

[WHISTLING]

[GAS HISSING]

[CONTINUES WHISTLING]

Oh. Jimmy.

Hey.

Jesus, when did you come in?

I don't know.

I left my watch outside.

Maybe an hour ago.

You doing some ironing?

Yeah.

Hey, I know things didn't go well for us yesterday.

But being back in the office sure felt good, really good.

I'm gonna be prepared in case any more work comes my way.

And the space blanket lining in the suit, what a fantastic idea.

It really made being outside much more tolerable.

I'm thinking about taking a little walk around the block later on.

Ha, ha.

That's great, Chuck.

You should do that.

Jimmy, are you all right?

Well, I didn't sleep last night, so...

I was doing some soul searching, and I came to a decision.

I'm gonna take that deal.

You're sure?

This is what you want?

Kim talked to me.

I got pretty nasty.

I'm not proud.

But thinking about what she said,

I'd be a fool to pass up that money.

It is a lot of money.

And I have zero interest in working with Howard.

So it's probably best that we keep to our separate sandboxes.

Wish it could have worked out.

Yeah. Imagine that, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

The two McGill boys side by side storming the gates.

Righting wrongs, taking down the bad guys.

And making a boatload of money to boot.

That would have been great.

Right?

The very best.

Yeah.

Yeah. Heh.

I'll keep on Howard. Um...

Won't badger him, but maybe

I can gradually wear him down.

Get him to come around.

That's--

Thanks.

Wow. I'm so lucky to have you looking out for me.

I'll do what I can.

I'm not promising anything.

I get it.

It's a long shot.

Hey, he might change his mind.

Yeah?

Hey, maybe there is a way that you could get Howard to change his mind.

How?

Quit.

Jimmy, no. No, no, no.

No, no, it's perfect.

We've already been through all this.

The reasons I'm never gonna leave HHM.

But you don't have to really quit.

Okay? You just threaten to quit, right?

You get in a game of chicken with Howard.

He's gotta blink, or HHM goes under.

It's a perfect plan. Heh.

Jimmy--

If you want us working together.

Ahem.

You can make it happen easily.

I mean, hey, that reception you got yesterday at HHM, how about that, right? The whole lobby of HHM applauding for you.

They love you.

Now, you threaten to pull out,

Hamlin would be insane to screw with you.

You've got the nuclear option.

Launch the doomsday device.

Game over.

If working with me is what you really want, right, Chuck?

You called him.

You called Hamlin.

I always turn my phone off before I put it in your mailbox.

Two nights ago, it was left on.

Battery drained.

I was so damn sure that

I turned it off, you know.

Because I always do.

It's a habit, right? Heh.

So it was nagging me.

It was nagging me.

So I called the phone company.

Turns out there was a deleted call at 2 a.m. when I was asleep right there.

And you know whose number? Hamlin's.

The only person who could have made that call and deleted it is you,

Chuck.

Boy, that phone, huh?

Phone must have felt like a blowtorch in your ear.

All that electricity.

All those radio waves right up against the side of your head.

My God.

What was so important that you had to call Howard before our meeting?

The only thing I can think--

The only thing that makes sense is you told him not to hire me.

It was always you, right?

Right back to when

I passed the bar and tried to join the firm.

You didn't want me.

Speak up.

Tell me why.

It's the least you can do for me now.

I'm your brother.

We're supposed to look out for each other.

Why were you working against me, Chuck?

You're not a real lawyer.

I'm what?

You're not a real lawyer.

University of American Samoa, for Christ's sake.

An online course? What a joke.

I worked my ass off to get where I am.

And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer?

You do what I do because you're funny and you can make people laugh?

I committed my life to this!

You don't slide into it like a cheap pair of slippers and reap all the rewards.

I thought you were proud of me.

I was.

When you straightened out and got a job in the mailroom,

I was very proud.

So that's it then, right?

Keep old Jimmy down in the mailroom.

He's not good enough to be a lawyer.

I know you.

I know what you were, what you are.

People don't change.

You're Slippin' Jimmy.

And Slippin' Jimmy

I can handle just fine.

But Slippin' Jimmy with a law degree is like a chimp with a machine gun.

The law is sacred!

If you abuse that power, people get hurt.

This is not a game.

You have to know--

On some level,

I know you know I'm right.

You know I'm right.

I...

I got you a 20-pound bag of ice.

And some bacon, and some eggs, and a couple of those steaks that you like.

Some fuel canisters. It's enough for three or four days.

After that, you're on your own.

I am done.

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

Jimmy, come back inside.

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

[♪♪♪]