Home > Better Call Saul

Expenses

[CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

Name.

Uh, ahem. James McGill.

Bring your card?

Yeah.

Sign that.

Can I read it first?

It's just a waiver. We're not responsible if you hurt yourself.

[CELL PHONE BUZZING]

Good morning. Saul Goodman Productions.

That's right. We--

We do it all. We write it, shoot it, get you on the air for one low, low price.

May I ask what business you have?

Computer repair. That is a perfect business to advertise on television.

Because, you know, computers are our future. Ha.

Uh....

Yes. Well, our rates are--

[ENGINES WHIRRING]

I'm sorry. That was one of our trucks. We're location-shooting today.

It's a big production, actually.

Our usual rate is one commercial...

...one airing, $850, but you're in luck.

Today, we have a one-time special.

Our elite package: seven commercials, seven airings...

...for forty--

Forty-six hundred dollars.

Yeah, $4,600.

And we can add-- Hello?

Hello?

No, I didn't...

...because you keep putting me on hold.

Okay, my sit--

Hello? My sit-- Yes. My situation is this. I--

Two months ago, I paid for a full year...

...but due to unforeseen circumstances...

...I'm not gonna be a lawyer for the next 12 months.

Yes. Suspended.

So I'm not practicing, so I don't need malpractice insurance.

And I'd like to speak to someone about a refund.

What--? Yeah-- Well, then, may I please speak to someone who can make a decision?

No, no. Don't put me on hold again. Please. Hell--?

Hello? Hell--?

[CAR HORN BLARING]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-Wait a minute. This says 30 minutes. -Yep.

We were out here for four hours.

You were on your phone.

You knew the rules when you signed up.

What? I collected more garbage than anybody out here.

I have to be able to conduct business to earn a living.

No.

What do you mean "no"?

Think of community service as your jail time.

No phones allowed in jail.

Well, hold on there, buddy.

I mean, who do you think you are, huh?

You--? You think you can treat us like this?

We're out here for the good of the great city of Albuquerque.

Not for you. You're not our lord and master.

You don't get to sit back and decide who's worthy and who isn't.

Am I right?

Dude, are you gonna get in the van or what?

Come on. Thirty minutes, that's not right. You can do better than that.

We could make it zero.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Come on, come on.

Come on, baby.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

Yes.

So come on down to Duke City Recliners, and put your feet up.

Mention this ad and get 10 percent off your first purchase.

And cut. Great.

-How was that? -Camera's good.

Thank you. That was great.

Hold up, hold up. I wanna do one more.

Was that okay?

It was great...

...but I just-- I want you to connect more with the audience.

Like you're talking to a friend.

Look into that lens, and see a friend.

Can you do that?

I mean, think of a specific friend.

-Do you see him? -Yes.

Okay, who is he?

-My friend Ron. -Great.

Look into that lens, and see Ron.

And just-- Two guys just chatting about chairs.

Don't think about it. Just throw it away. Last looks. Roll sound.

-Sound speed. -Camera set.

And...

...having a conversation with your good friend Ron.

Just a couple of guys talking.

And you got some very exciting news about the recliners...

...that you've been dying to share with him, and action.

So come on down to Duke City Recliners, and put your feet up.

Mention this ad and get 10 percent off your first purchase.

And cut. Great. That's the one.

-Check the gate. How'd that feel? -Good, I guess. What did you think?

Good. So good. Just very, very...

-...great. -Very nice.

Listen. You are on a roll, my friend.

I say we strike while the iron is hot. Remember that other offer we discussed?

More commercials at the discounted rate?

Got my whole crew here. We can bang out seven more...

...and give you a run that will make you a household name.

-What do you say? -Mr. Goodman, I...

...love the idea of more commercials.

But I just can't swing it. My wife didn't want me to do this one.

You know what? They say you gotta spend money to make money, and, uh--

[LAUGHS]

And I tell you what, you got a chance here to potentially spike your sales by hundreds--

Hell, thousands of new customers who'd never even heard of Duke City Recliners.

What do you say?

Sure, sure.

But like I said...

...I only have enough to pay for the one.

Well, you know what?

I like you.

And I wanna help, so...

...I know we discussed a discounted rate of 545 per commercial...

...but if you sign up right now for our elite package...

...now that's seven commercials...

...I think we can do the whole thing for 500 per commercial.

Now that is 3500 all-in. That is a bargain of a lifetime.

I don't know.

Any chance you can do it on credit?

On credit?

No.

No. I can't.

Sorry.

Maybe another time?

Let me get your money for this one.

Can we make this easier and split it four ways?

I'll split you four ways. Don't they teach you capitalism in that school?

-I'm just saying we got expenses, man. -You don't have expenses. I got expenses.

You see this? This is money I've spent on airtime for that commercial.

Four hundred and forty-five bucks. Know what that leaves me?

-One hundred dollars. -One hundred and four dollars and 95 cents.

For writing, directing, producing, client outreach, sales, transpo...

-...all of it. -I get it.

So let's get you in the editing room and finish this...

...and I don't wanna hear about expenses.

KIM: Okay, electric.

I paid this month.

Anything else?

I bought a couple reams of paper for the printer.

Mm. Paper.

One hundred and sixty-two. Okay. So....

Um....

Looks like...

...puts me ahead this month...

...$3,172.00.

All right. What's it to even me up?

Uh, divided by two.

One thousand, five hundred, eighty-six.

Okay.

One thousand.

Five hundred.

Wow, Mr. Moneybags, huh?

So this...

...commercial thing, it's turning a profit?

It's TV. How could there not be a profit?

You didn't...

...drain your bank account, did you?

Heh. No. I didn't, no.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh, that's Chinese food.

-I ordered it for us. You're working late? -Yeah. Thanks.

-Oh, uh, wait. Here. -No.

I got this.

-Hey. Hi. -Twenty-four dollars.

Keep the change.

A dollar?

Yeah.

We can make it zero.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER CAR SPEAKERS]

[ALARM SENSOR BEEPING]

[BEEPING STOPS]

[SCREAMS]

Jesus.

What the hell?

I mean, what the hell? How'd you get in here?

Relax.

-I just wanna talk. -Talk?

Heh. You mean, like, apologize?

Because that's really the only talk I wanna hear.

I wanna do some business like before.

Heh. Business?

Is that, like, code for stealing my baseball cards?

I'm not here for your baseball cards.

I'm here...

...for this.

Can you get more of these?

PRYCE: You want me to steal this?

Get a prescription and go to a pharmacist.

-It'll be cheap. -I need those capsules empty.

Before they're sealed.

With those exact markings.

The place I work doesn't make these, but....

"But" what?

I could probably get some samples diverted on an R & D request.

So do it.

Why? I mean, what's the point?

I need them.

Okay.

And if I don't get them...

...then what?

Are you gonna...

...threaten me? Break my legs?

You get me those pills, and I'm gonna pay you $20,000.

Get them.

Hey, Pop.

You're doing okay?

Yeah. It's coming along.

I have a couple of volunteers here who wanna help.

Well, thanks, but I think I'm good.

Please. We can't let you do it all by yourself.

Certainly not after you've bought all the supplies.

At least let the church reimburse you.

It's a donation.

Come on. You've got unskilled but eager laborers. Let us do something.

Just point and tell us what to do.

Oh.

All right. Uh....

How about you dump one of those packs into the wheel barrow?

And you, you fill that bucket up to the brim with water.

And then you dump it in little by little...

...while he stirs it with a hoe.

-You got it. -Okay.

I'm ready. What can I do?

I think we're covered.

You're kidding, right?

It's not that big a job.

-Am I doing this right? -Uh....

Why don't you try using this instead?

Excuse me.

It's for the walkway.

Look.

It puts down a texture...

...so the kids don't slip when it gets wet.

Like this?

You got it.

Nice and gentle.

ANITA: You're Kaylee's Pop-Pop, right? -I am.

I am the very proud grandfather.

-I'm Anita. -Mike.

-Nice to meet you, Mike. -And you.

Thanks for helping.

Well, thank you for not trying to do this all by yourself.

Hey, Carl?

Yeah?

Hold the fort for a few minutes, would you?

You got it, Mike.

[BASEBALL FANFARE PLAYING ON ELECTRONIC GAME]

Oh, hey.

-You're here. -This your idea of stealth?

I never claimed to be good at this. Any of it.

On that, we can agree.

Yeah, I know. That's why I'm here.

I wanna hire you again.

-Do what now? -Hire you.

As my backup man. Same terms as before.

I don't wanna make the same mistake as last time.

You don't wanna make the same mistake...

...then don't get involved with whatever it is you're getting involved with.

But I'm involved already.

I'm not.

It's Nacho Varga.

What about him?

He broke into my house.

He was inside waiting for me.

Somehow, he got past my security system.

I have no idea how.

All he had to do was unplug your phone lines.

Oh. That's it? Huh.

-What did he want? -Pills.

Well, not exactly.

Empty Lydristel capsules.

-Lydristel? -Yeah, they're like nitroglycerin.

And he offered me money.

I mean, lots of money.

Way more than they're even worth...

...but...

...I'm afraid if I don't do it...

...or even if I do do it...

...I don't know.

-Tell him you can't get what he needs. -I already ordered them.

I mean, the shipment gets here in two days. He knows.

Then make up an excuse.

Fine. Three thousand.

-I'll give you 3000. -I'm not interested.

And you, find a way out of it.

-But-- -Not interested.

[ALARM BEEPING]

PAIGE: Look, full disclosure...

...when you told us about the disciplinary hearing, I admit it, I had concerns.

Just so you know, I had to do my due diligence.

I read the transcripts.

All of them.

It was amazing.

What you did to Charles, you and James set him up perfectly.

You destroyed him.

Oh, my God. I couldn't believe some of it.

"I'm not crazy. It's 1216, one after Magna Carta."

-The Magna Carta? -Mm.

PAIGE: It was perfect.

"You think this chicanery is bad?"

Who talks like that?

On page five is a breakdown of loan-to-deposit ratios by county...

...and you can see, if Mesa Verde's gonna comply with section 109...

-...you will have to raise your loan numbers. -Mm.

That can't be right.

We were fine in Arizona.

Yes, but the FDIC requirements in Utah are different.

Ninety-six percent? Is it really that high?

I thought Arizona was only 79.

Again, it was, but Utah has a higher loan-to-deposit ratio.

I think we're gonna need to check that. That number seems way off.

The numbers are right.

But you can review the guidelines if you want. Right here.

Are you gonna check them, or can we move on?

Uh....

No.

Of course, if it's 96, it's 96.

We'll increase our loan numbers.

Absolutely.

Can we review these fixed-mortgage rates because that's...

-...definitely an area we'll need to focus-- -Paige, I'm s-- That was...

...unprofessional.

I didn't mean to speak to you that way.

Kim...

...don't worry. It's not a problem.

-At all. -No, I'm sorry.

There's no excuse for talking to you like that.

I know how hard you've been working on this.

Please, I've forgotten about it already. You should too.

Okay?

As far as I'm concerned, all we did--

All we did was tear down a sick man.

Fixed-mortgage rates.

I think it's page three.

-Yes. -Yeah.

There's an acquisition comparison at the top. And you wanna go by total--

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Get in.

Let's go. Chop-chop. Come on, come on.

Get in.

I'm trying.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

-That doesn't sound good. -Come on, come on.

-Think you're flooding it. -I'm not.

You're over-cranking it.

You don't know what you're talking about.

We're getting paid whether we get there or not.

-Maybe we should catch the bus. -Come on. Just--

It's gonna start, okay?

-You've definitely flooded it. -He drained the battery.

Can you not talk about something you know nothing about?

-There's a bus we can get in. -Shh!

I just need to think for one minute.

[SIGHS]

-We're taking the bus. -Yeah.

JIMMY: Film crew.

Hold up the bus.

You see that? Fender Stratocaster signed by Ritchie Blackmore.

-You know who that is, right? -Someone no one's ever heard of.

That's real good. I hope your parents enjoy supporting you for the rest of their lives.

Come on. Ritchie Blackmore. Deep Purple.

"Another Brick in the Wall."

Oh, I weep for the future.

Mr. McGill?

We have a problem.

Them.

Hey, fellas. You ready?

We got the first shot all lined up. Can I walk you through it?

We hate to do this to you.

-We're having second thoughts. -Yeah.

I get it. That's nerves. Stage fright.

I tell you what. We got cue cards.

And with the magic of editing, we're gonna make you guys look like...

-...James Garner and Mariette Hartley. -It's not that.

It's just that it seems like too much money--

For not a whole lot of return.

And that, my friends, that is where you're mistaken because this is about...

...brand-awareness.

From now on, when people think guitars, they're gonna think ABQ In Tune.

When they think pianos, ABQ In Tune.

Drums, xylophones, for less than the price of that Ritchie Blackmore beauty on that rack...

...you're gonna have the whole town thinking, "ABQ In Tune."

Yeah, but what about the time slot?

-I mean, Murder, She Wrote repeats? -Come on.

Hey.

Grandmas love buying the gift of music for little Johnny and Sally and Skip.

And it's school-recital season, so where are the kids gonna get those recorders?

-We don't sell recorders. -Synthesizers, then.

But point is, those social-security checks, they gotta be spent somewhere.

Hey, uh. Ahem.

As it happens, today only, I can offer the same package...

...but 50 percent off.

Look.

I'm sorry, but we can't. Not today, guys.

Don't do that. Guys. Now come on.

Look, I know you want this. I know you do.

-Fifty percent off. MAN 1: Yeah, we get it.

But we're just not....

MAN 2: Convinced.

Free.

I'll shoot the spot for free.

For free?

You will shoot this spot for free?

I'll film your ad, and I'll put it on the air.

But when you see more traffic coming through here, and you will...

...then we do the other spots for the original rate.

Okay? Now how can you say "no"?

-I mean, when we puts it like that. -I guess we can't.

Good.

That's the best decision you're gonna make. The best.

You're gonna catch the bus, Mr. McGill?

No, I--

You guys get to the editing room.

I just need...

...to sit.

Mr. McGill.

No. I-- I can't.

It's okay.

That's yours. You earned it.

But you're losing money.

We'll see.

It'll be fine.

Okay.

So I finally got my act together.

I pulled a bunch of Alan's boxes out of the closet.

Only took me eight years.

I gave all of Alan's clothes a last wash before driving them over to Goodwill.

I cried.

I cried when I washed them. I cried when I folded them.

I cried when I dropped them off.

But once it was done...

...it felt good...

...to let them go.

I kept his uniform though. Heh.

Can't let that go.

Lord, he'd never forgive me if I let that go. Heh, heh.

But I figure it's okay to keep one thing, right?

I mean...

...people can use the other clothes...

...but I'm not sure what use they'd have for an old uniform.

I just don't remember this much homework when I was Kaylee's age.

It doesn't seem to bother her, but still.

Most of it is just busywork.

A couple of us actually spoke to the school board...

...and they agreed.

Done. All yours.

-Fair warning. The coffee's not all that. -Hmm.

I guess they feel if you can face this, you can face anything.

-Could be. I must be stronger than I think. -Mm.

You mind if I ask? I really don't mean to pry, but--

Let me guess. You have another construction job you need my help on.

No. But if I do, you'll be the first person I call.

Okay. Ask away.

You said you kept your husband's uniform.

Was he on the job?

"On the job"?

Oh, you mean, the police?

No.

Alan was a Navy man.

He was well out of the service when I lost him.

I'm sorry.

The group has heard my story over and over.

Well, that's what we're here for.

Well...

...Alan loved to hike.

We even opened a camping-supply store.

I helped him with the mail-order side of it.

And then...

...this was eight years ago.

He went hiking in Gila National...

...and never came back.

They found our car...

...but they never found him.

And I don't know if...

...he slipped and fell or had a heart attack...

...or met someone who didn't like the way he looked.

I don't know.

And even after all these years...

...not knowing how he passed...

...or where he is...

...I wish it didn't matter.

But it does.

[PHONE DIALING]

PRYCE: Hello?

It's me.

You make the deal?

Uh, no. Not yet.

Why?

I'm in.

[JIMMY SIGHS]

Hey, let's get out of here.

What? Get out where?

I'm up to my neck in Mesa Verde. I can't.

-Come on, we're going. Up. -No, I can't.

Nope. Nothing.

Nothing you can do to stop this.

Oh, one thing. You have to drive.

Oh, oh, oh. Look at this guy.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

It's Alfred Hitchcock in a rented toupee.

[KIM CHUCKLING]

KIM: Come on. Why would you rent a toupee?

JIMMY: You know, from the toupee store...

...so you don't have to maintain it.

SERVER: All right. Seven and seven. -Yeah.

-And an old fashioned. -Keep them coming, good sir.

Uh, oh. Ahem.

Can you... start charging this card instead of that other one?

Yeah. You got it.

JIMMY: Thank you. -No problem.

You're not maxing out your cards, are you?

Of course not.

I'm, uh, spreading the points around.

-I got a system. -Oh.

That moron takes the bet.

He took three points.

He's a fool. Look.

-Is it wrong? -Wait, this guy over here.

Yeah. He wants everyone to know what a big spender he is.

I've got every dollar that guy owns.

We're here to meet a celebrity...

...who's donating to my charity.

Kevin Costner.

I will go stand in that corner...

...you point me out.

You're meeting Kevin Costner.

What? You don't look like Kevin Costner.

I look exactly like Kevin Costner.

People are always coming up to me, saying they love me in Bull Durham.

Never.

-Never happened. -Always.

-Hey, hey. You. -Not that one.

SERVER: Yes, sir. -What is this?

-Uh, dirty martini? -No, this is a $14 glass of puke.

Why don't you get that idiot look off your face and get me another one?

-That guy. MAN: Who said anything about gin?

-How do we get him? MAN: Well, I want vodka.

-What, am I just gonna hold it here? -What do you think?

MAN: You go and get me another one. -The--

-The trick with the coin you told me about. MAN: I know your boss. I'm an investor here.

-Or the counterfeit bill? -No.

That guy's a real asshole.

--act together and get me a real drink.

JIMMY: He needs to go down hard.

What kind of menial job is this?

Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna sell him a worthless credit card for 5000 bucks.

Here's what you do.

Make eye contact with him.

It's all it will take for him to think you're interested.

I'll act good and drunk, and he'll think I'm a loser and try to steal you away.

He will persist.

You tell him you can't leave me. Not yet.

Let him know you're trying to roll me.

He'll want in.

He'll help you ply me with booze.

Then you take my wallet, you lift the card.

Following this?

We're not actually doing this, right?

We're just talking.

Yeah.

Just talking.

What--?

Nothing.

-It's not nothing. What? -I keep thinking....

Was there another way?

"Another way"?

Chuck? Is that what you're talking about?

Kim.

He had us in a corner. Okay? We did what we had to do.

-But Rebecca-- -Everything...

...that happened was his own fault.

Everything.

You put him in the rearview mirror.

He is not worth thinking about. Done.

SERVER 2: Why, thank you.

Have a good evening.

Can I get anybody anything else?

How about that one?

I bet we could get him to invest...

...in some of Giselle Saint Claire's land in South Africa.

Oh, yeah.

Definitely.

Mining rights would be all his.

Really?

He called me.

For obvious reasons.

Look, I'm not here to rip him off.

He has the stuff, right?

I need to know what you're planning.

What's it matter to you?

I know they're for Salamanca. Nitro pills.

Your boss has heart problems.

You already got it all figured out. Why are you asking?

How you gonna make the switch?

[SIGHS]

Hector keeps the pills in his coat pocket.

When he hangs up his coat, I'll make the switch.

Mm. He goes down, then what?

His heart goes out. That's it.

MIKE: A lot of eyes on Salamanca.

You do this...

...how are you gonna stop them from finding out it was you?

Are you trying to tell me not to do this?

I'm not telling you anything.

I just wanna make sure you know what you're getting into.

I'm not getting into anything. I'm in it.

I've got no choice.

Hector wants to use my dad's business.

My dad is a straight arrow. He won't stand for it, which means...

...he goes to the police, which means he's a dead man.

And that's not happening.

You get caught, it could get worse.

You don't think I know who I'm dealing with?

MIKE: No.

I don't.

What are you doing?

There are more people than the Salamancas to worry about here.

Now, if you manage to pull this off without a bullet in your head...

...and switch those pills...

...then switch them back.

Switch them back?

Why?

If anyone gets an itch about the medicine not working...

...they're gonna look at those pills.

You do this, switch them back.

So...

-...you're gonna let us make this deal? -You got the money?

Good.

Now before we do this...

...I'm gonna need one more thing from you.

[INTERCOM BEEPS]

Yes.

Okay.

Miss Valco will see you now.

Second door.

Hey there. Come on in.

Yeah. Hi. I've called quite a few times...

...about an issue I'm trying to address.

Do you have your policy number?

No.

Can you just look up my name? McGill.

Charles McGill of Hamlin Hamlin McGill?

No, that's my brother. Um....

I'm Jimmy.

James McGill. Solo practitioner.

Ah.

There you are. Looks like you're all paid up through the year.

That's sort of the issue.

Long story short. Through a series of unfortunate events...

...my license has been suspended.

Yes, I see that here.

Right. Well, I was hoping I could get a refund...

...for the time that I won't be a lawyer.

Now, that's only fair, right?

I'm sorry, Mr. McGill. It doesn't work like that.

We don't refund for unused malpractice insurance.

-But it's-- It's a lot of money for nothing. -I understand it seems that way...

...but if one of your clients decides they want to bring a suit against you...

...this continues your coverage.

That's the thing. My clients, they love me.

I mean, they would never bring a suit against me.

I'm extremely lovable.

I can see that, but it's company policy.

What about we put the insurance on hold?

And then, if someone were to try to sue me, which they won't...

...then we just...

...kick that old policy back into gear.

I understand your situation. I do.

But there are rules preventing us from stopping and starting coverage.

And I regret to inform you that when your license is reinstated next year...

...because of the suspension, your premiums are going to go up.

Considerably.

How "considerably"?

Um....

Looks like, roughly, 150 percent.

God....

Mr. McGill?

Oh....

Mr. McGill, I'm sorry.

I wish we could help you, but we just can't.

[SNIFFLING]

I'm sorry.

It's hard.

Very, very hard.

I'm just having a rough time.

I just need a break.

Just one break.

And I know-- I know you can't do anything, but...

...I'm getting run out on this community service...

...and I'm getting ripped off left and right.

And my car won't start.

My gal is disappointed in me, and...

...my brother.

[VOICE BREAKING] My brother is sick.

And he's alone.

I spent years caring for him...

...and now he hates me.

He's the only family I got left, and he hates me.

He hates my guts.

Is this your brother Charles?

And I pretend not to care...

...but he's my brother. How can I not?

He's mentally ill.

And he's-- He's holed up in a house with no electricity.

He's working by the light of gas lanterns.

He's making mistakes with his clients. He's...

...mixing up numbers on important documents.

He--

He had a complete mental breakdown at the bar hearing.

Your brother, he had...

...a breakdown in court?

It's in the transcripts.

I'm not worried. I'm just--

If he screws up with one more big client...

...it's just gonna destroy him.

Don't--

Don't write.

What are you writing? No, don't write.

I-- I didn't mean to say that.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] I don't want him...

...to get in trouble with you guys because of me.

-Right. -I'm sorry. I'm gonna go.

You're not gonna do anything, are you?

I-- I wouldn't worry about it, Mr. McGill.

But please feel better.

I'm sorry.

Just-- Forget.

[♪♪♪]