Home > Breaking Bad

Crazy Handful of Nothin'

[♪♪♪]

Let's get something straight.

This, the chemistry, is my realm.

I am in charge of the cooking.

Out there on the street,

you deal with that.

[ALARM BLARING]

[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

As far as our customers go,

I don't want to know anything about them.

I don't wanna see them,

I don't wanna hear them.

I want no interaction

with them whatsoever.

This operation is you and me, and I'm the silent partner.

You got any issues with that?

Whatever, man.

No matter what happens, no more bloodshed.

No violence.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Walt?

Hm?

You all right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm okay.

You know, honey, you--

You really don't have to...

Look, I like being here with you.

Yeah.

I'm only saying that, you know, I'd be okay.

That, really, if you wanna go...

You know, actually, it would make me feel a little better knowing that you were there when Walter Jr. gets home from school.

Okay.

All right. So you'll call me when you're finished?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

[GRUNTS]

Oh, and have you been in touch with Elliot?

Because I haven't seen a check from him.

Yes, I-- I got it.

Really?

It came, yeah. And I--

Yeah, it did. It came last week and I put it right into my credit union account.

So I'm taking care of it.

Good.

Yeah.

So we're good. We're good.

Could you not deposit this until Monday?

Thank you.

Call if the discomfort's too much, otherwise we'll see you next week.

Yeah.

[♪♪♪]

Chemical reactions involve

change on two levels: matter and energy.

When a reaction is gradual, the change in energy is slight.

I mean, you--

You don't even notice the reaction is happening.

For example, when rust collects on the underside of a car.

Right?

[CLEARS THROAT]

But if a reaction happens quickly, otherwise harmless substances can interact in a way that generates enormous bursts of energy.

All right.

Uh, who can give me an example of rapid chemical reaction?

Hint, hint. Right here.

Like, an explosion?

Yes, good. Explosions.

Explosions are the result of chemical reactions happening almost instantaneously.

And the faster reactants, i.e. explosives--

And fulminative mercury is a prime example of that.

--the faster they undergo change, the more violent the explosion.

Explosions.

Okay, listen, why don't you start reading on your own from the top of chapter seven.

All right?

[VOMITING]

[GASPING]

HUGO:

You okay?

I got it, Mr. White.

Don't worry.

You got kids to teach.

Thanks, Hugo.

[BEEPING]

SKYLER:

He's starting to lose weight which is, um, tough, to see that.

I can already feel the difference when I put my, uh, arms around him.

Can I talk to--?

Of course.

Walt.

When you don't let me in, when you don't tell me what's going on...

I mean, it's like

I feel like you don't even want me around sometimes.

No.

And-- And--

And recently, these--

These afternoons when you're coming home so late and we're just left wondering where you are.

WALT JR.:

Yeah, Dad.

What's up with that?

Walt, is there anything else you're holding back from your family?

Now's the time to share.

Well, I...

I-I like to be alone,

I mean, at times.

And it's not about you, really.

It's just that sometimes it feels better not to talk at all, about anything, to anyone.

Alone time can be helpful.

For some types.

Maybe knowing what you do when you're alone might make it easier for your family to be more accepting of whatever it is you do alone.

[MOUTHS "YEAH"]

Well,

I like to go on walks.

A couple of times a week, maybe more, after work.

And I-I really enjoy the nature.

You know, the cacti,

vegetation, that kind of thing.

It's really very,

very therapeutic.

[♪♪♪]

[COUGHING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[COUGHING]

Yo, God, are you okay?

Hey, you did that shit?

I'm dizzy. No.

I'm just dizzy. I need air.

God, I feel like I'm burning up.

Sit down, sit down.

I gotta--

Take this off.

Sit down, get some air.

Oh, God.

Oh.

Here.

Better?

Yeah, that's better.

Oh.

Oh.

When were you gonna tell me?

Tell you what?

Cancer.

You got it, right?

How did you know?

My aunt had one of those dots on her to target the radiation.

What, is it in your lung?

I'm your partner, man, you should have told me.

God, that's not cool, okay?

Not at all.

[GRUNTS]

What stage are you?

Three-A.

Gone into your lymph nodes.

Your aunt.

How-how bad was she when they caught it?

Bad enough, she didn't last long.

How long?

Seven months.

God.

I get it now.

That's why you're doing all this.

You want to make some cash for your people before you check out.

You got a problem with that?

You tell me.

You're the one that looks like he just crawled out of a microwave.

You gonna be able to finish the batch?

Yes.

[COUGHING]

All right.

[SIGHS]

No.

You do it.

Me?

Yeah.

What happened to your mad skills?

[SIGHS]

Go on. Here.

You do it.

You can do it.

If you have any questions,

I'll be right out here.

The next time, put an ice pack on your head during chemo.

My aunt said it helped with the hair loss.

[♪♪♪]

What's this, Christmas?

This that one we found way out in the boonies at the cook site?

Holy shit.

What?

HANK:

Lab says they pulled up an imprint of some old writing used to be on the inside.

Magic Marker or something.

Yeah? What's it say?

"Property of J.P. Winn

Chemistry Lab."

That's Walt's school.

[♪♪♪]

♪ It is such a good night

To kiss ♪

♪ It is such a good night

To dance ♪

♪ It is such a good night to ♪

♪ Scooby-dee-dooby-doo ♪

♪ Scooby-dee-dooby-doo ♪

♪ Scooby-dee-dooby-doo-love ♪

♪ It is such a good night

To kiss ♪

♪ It is such a good night

To dance ♪

♪ It is such a good night to ♪

♪ Scooby-dee-dooby-doo ♪

♪ Scooby-dee-dooby-doo ♪

♪ Scooby-dee-dooby-doo-love ♪

We were supposed to start at 3.

Hey, I'm out there making fat stacks, man. Chill.

Hey, prepaid cell phone. Use it.

How much is this?

Twenty-six big ones.

Is that all?

Twenty-six-thousand dollars?

Uh, no, that's 2600, and your share is 13, minus 25 bucks for that phone.

How much meth did you sell?

Nearly an ounce.

Last time I checked there were 16 ounces to a pound.

What did you do with the rest, smoke it?

Yo, I've been out all night slinging crystal.

You think it's cake moving a pound of meth one teenth at a time?

Why are you selling it in such small quantities?

Why don't you just sell the whole pound at once?

To who?

What do I look like, Scarface?

This is unacceptable.

I am breaking the law here.

This return is too little for the risk.

I thought you'd be ready for another pound today.

You may know a lot about chemistry, man, but you don't know jack about slinging dope.

Well, I'll tell you,

I know a lack of motivation when I see it.

Oh, my...

Come on, you've gotta be more imaginative, you know, just--

Just think outside the box here.

We have to move our product in bulk, wholesale.

Now, how do we do that?

What, do you mean to a distributor?

Yes. Yes, that's what we need.

We need a distributor.

Now, do you know anyone like that?

Yeah, I mean, I used to, until you killed him.

So who took Krazy-8's place?

Some guy named Tuco.

Badass, from what I hear.

Tuco, okay.

So then just go talk to Tuco.

Right. Like, "Hello, sir.

Hey, I know you don't know me,

"but would you be interested in a felony quantity of methamphetamine?"

Well, yes, but maybe with a little more salesmanship, perhaps?

You just don't get it, man, okay? This guy's OG.

What-- What does that mean?

Jesus, look, he's off our level, man.

He's not gonna do business with some dude he doesn't know.

You just don't understand the way it works.

You can't just bum-rush some high-level ice man and start cutting deals.

Okay? It's risky.

You need an intro, you need someone to vouch.

Well, who introduced you to Krazy-8?

Emilio, and that's only because

I knew him from third grade, and we can't talk to Emilio, because--

All right, all right, all right.

Look, I'm telling you,

Mr. White, it's too risky. Okay?

I mean, we're making money.

Why can't you be satisfied with the way it is?

Oh, come on! Jesus!

Just grow some fucking balls!

[MOUTHS "WOW"]

[LAB EQUIPMENT BEEPING]

Wait till Monday again?

Yes, please. Thank you.

[VOMITING]

Oh, God.

[FLUSHES]

HUGO:

Mr. White.

Thank you, Hugo.

Uh--

[SIGHS]

[COUGHING]

Knock, knock.

Oh, hey.

How you feeling, Walt?

Good. Yeah.

Are you up for having a visitor?

Hey, buddy.

H-Hank.

Well, let me know if you need anything.

I will. Thank you, Carmen.

Damn.

Chick's got an ass like an onion, makes me wanna cry.

So, what--?

What are you doing here?

Well, I had some questions

I wanted to run by you, work-related.

Oh.

You feeling okay?

I-I can come back later.

No, no, no, I'm fine.

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

What do you mean,

"work-related," though?

Do you recognize that?

No. No.

Well, that was used to cook meth.

Found it out on some Indian land about 40 miles from here.

Old label on the inside used to say:

"J.P. Winn Chemistry Lab."

Really?

I don't understand how that came from here.

Well, I was hoping you could help me with that.

We found it near an abandoned car that belonged to one of our snitches.

A snitch?

Yeah, one of our confidential informants.

Went missing a while back.

No body yet, but we're pretty sure, you know:

Probably chopped up into little pieces and fed to the buzzards.

Ugh.

Anyway, you--

Any respirators like that go missing lately?

Uh-uh.

No. No.

No, I mean, not that I know of.

I'll need to look at that inventory.

Sure. Sure. I've got a list hanging on the wall.

Do you mind if I take a look at your storeroom?

Not at all. No.

Be my guest.

All right, so who's got keys?

[CLEARS THROAT]

The science faculty, the staff, Carmen, the vice-principal has the master, and me.

How about students?

Uh, no, no.

No students have keys.

Shit, I should hope not.

My question is do any of the little pissants know where you keep 'em?

Uh, I don't--

I don't think so, no.

I mean, besides,

I keep them right here in my pocket anyway, so--

Walt, look,

I know they're your students, but do not underestimate them.

Big mistake.

Are there any other respirators?

Um, no.

Because I'm counting six, uh, inventory says eight.

Hm.

[PHONE RINGING]

Glassware looking a little sparse.

Is it?

Yeah. You're missing a couple of Erlenmeyer flasks, at least.

Oh, yeah.

A 5000 milliliter round-bottom.

Meth heads love to brew in this baby.

You gonna answer that?

Oh, no, it's just--

No, I don't--

Maybe it's Skyler, she's in trouble or something.

Shit, don't ignore it on my account.

Answer it. Come on,

I got stuff to do.

Jeez.

Okay.

Hello?

JESSE [ON PHONE]:

Yo, what's up, Mr. W?

Uh, speaking.

Bad time to talk?

WALT [ON PHONE]:

Absolutely.

All right, so just listen.

So you know that guy we were talking about, Tuco?

Turns out my boy, Skinny Pete, was in the same cell block with him over at Los Lunas.

So we got our in. We're hauling

a pound to the dude right now.

Okay, then. Well, thank you.

Thank you very much for calling.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Ha. My, uh, doctor is very solicitous.

Hey, look, buddy.

The last thing I wanna do is get you in hot water, but some meth-monkey had a feeding frenzy in here, okay?

You gotta keep better watch over your turf.

I will.

We don't want people to start wondering about you, right?

[CHUCKLES]

[SNORTS]

Right. No. Right.

Absolutely not.

[RAP SONG PLAYING ON STEREO]

[DOORS SHUT]

So you're sure you're tight with this guy?

Two nuts in a ball sack, yo.

[RAPPING IN FOREIGN DIALECT]

Yo, man, I'm Skinny Pete.

Maybe this isn't such a good idea, yo. Come on.

[DOOR BUZZES]

Yeah, man, that's what's happening.

Yo, Tuco's expecting us.

No need, man.

Me and Tuco go back.

Tuco, what's happening, my brother?

Sick crib, yo.

You've been keeping it real since you been sprung.

What's it been, like, a year?

This your boy?

Yeah, Jesse. Dude with the glass

I was telling you about.

Hey, man, yeah.

I've heard a lot about you.

Break out the ice.

Take a bump.

No worries, man, I'm no cop.

I said, hit it.

All right.

[CHUCKLES]

Booyah!

Whoo!

This kicks like a mule with his balls wrapped in duct tape.

Whoo!

Where'd you get it?

I cooked it.

[CHUCKLES]

Bullshit.

Who you working for?

No one, man.

I mean, I have a partner that

I cook with, but that's it.

All right.

Aw.

We got a deal.

See, I told you Tuco would hook you up.

Cool. I haven't said how much.

TUCO:

Aw.

All right. How much?

Thirty-five large for the pound.

Well, you're a little light, ese.

[CHUCKLES]

It's all right, don't sweat it.

It's all good.

It's good.

Go on, get out of here.

What about the money?

You'll get it.

This is a consignment operation.

You want me to float 35 G's?

You don't trust me?

Hey, no, no, hey.

It's not that, man.

It's just, you know, I don't--

I don't do business that way.

Tough shit, the deal is done.

You said this was cool, okay?

Money for meth, cash up front.

Don't front, dude,

Tuco's good for it.

I don't need your punk ass to vouch for me.

Come on.

Oh, come on.

TUCO:

All right.

You brought me some really clean crystal. Whoo!

You really want your money up front?

Up front.

[MAN LAUGHS]

Nobody moves crystal in the South Valley but me, bitch.

Morning, Hugo.

You don't mind if I call you Hugo, Hugo?

GIRL:

We've never had a problem with Hugo, ever.

Is that Uncle Hank?

Right, what do you got there?

All right. Book him.

Uncle Hank's arresting

Mr. Archilleya.

CARMEN:

This doesn't make any sense at all.

I don't understand.

HANK:

I got two words for you: background check.

How about that?

JESSE [ON MACHINE]:

Yo, yo, yo.

1-4-8, 3-to-the-3,

to-the-6, to-the-9.

Representing the ABQ.

What up, biatch?

Leave it at the tone.

[BEEPS]

Where the hell are you?

Call me back.

MARIE:

Hey, Walt?

Yeah?

Uh, Hank's about to deal.

Okay, I'll, uh--

I'll be right there.

[COUGHING]

HANK:

All right, let's see what the turn brings us.

You're looking good, Walt.

Your color's better.

Yeah? Thanks.

SKYLER:

He's actually on the pretty strong stuff now.

Dr. Delcavoli's trying to talk him into taking some time off from work, but--

Well, actually,

I just talked to Carmen this morning and they're getting a substitute for a few weeks.

Oh.

Good for you.

I didn't have a chance to tell you.

Sorry.

Your bet, tough guy.

Check.

Uh, yeah, check.

Check's in the mail.

Ten million.

That's 25 million, blue's 10.

Well, then, 25 million, because that's how I roll.

WALT JR.:

Hey, Uncle Hank,

I heard you arrested

Mr. Archilleya the other day.

He's a pretty cool guy.

Well, turns out he has a record.

Yeah, a couple of possession beefs.

We figured he was the guy that was stealing your--

Your school's chemistry gear.

I mean, you know, he had a key, fit the profile.

And when we searched his truck, we found a big old fat blunt.

Which goes to prove old huge

Hugo ain't so cool after all.

It's-- It's to you, Walt.

Yeah, I'll call.

You know, I can't believe the school system didn't know about this guy's record.

I mean, that's pretty scary.

How could something like that slip through the cracks?

WALT: I don't know.

I mean, for what it's worth,

Hugo just doesn't strike me as a thief.

Yeah, well, nothing personal, Walt, but you wouldn't know a criminal if he was close enough to check you for a hernia.

[CHUCKLES]

That said, we got a search warrant, and we tore old

Hugo's house apart.

Turns out he's a major-league pothead, but, uh-- But he didn't raid your chemistry set.

You hiding something?

I'm in.

And the river card.

Yeah, I got nothing, I'm out.

I'm out.

Yowza.

When old holes-in-her-purse bails, you know you're in deep.

Looks like it's you and me, buddy.

What's gonna happen to him?

Hugo?

Oh, well, I mean, he's gonna lose his job, like he should.

Probably spend a couple months in county, because it's not his first rap.

I'm waiting.

[CHUCKLES]

You gonna man up or are you gonna puss out?

Hank.

Sorry.

WALT:

I'm all in.

Mm.

Dude. You bad, bad, bad, horrible liar.

What are you smoking there, huh?

You got a heart?

You got the flush, don't you?

Nope. Not falling for it, buddy.

I fold.

Talk about anti-climactic.

HANK: Hey.

Your cards couldn't have been that bad, come on.

Oh, my God.

You threw away an ace?

HANK: What are you doing?

And a cowboy for...

Oh.

A handful of nothing.

[COUGHS]

[FRIDGE SHUTS]

[CAN OF SODA POP OPENS]

[PHONE BEEPS]

[PHONE RINGS]

[SIGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

MAN [ON PHONE]:

Yeah, what up?

Who is this?

I was dialing Jesse Pinkman.

Hey, man, he's out.

Well, where is he, then?

You the guy?

Yeah, I'm the guy.

How is he?

Got some busted ribs and like that.

Got messed up pretty good.

I was all, like,

"Damn, Tuco, chill, ese."

I don't know what got into him.

Seriously.

He's out, man. Way out.

They got him doped up big time.

So you're the cook, huh?

Yo, I didn't catch your name.

Tell me about this Tuco.

Tell me everything about him.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

[♪♪♪]

[BUZZING]

Morning.

Could you pass the butter, please?

Badass, Dad.

[RAP SONG PLAYING ON STEREO]

[MAN RAPPING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN:

Hey, cue ball. Need directions?

You Tuco?

I want to talk to Tuco, and I'm not leaving until I do.

[SNIFFS]

What's your name?

Heisenberg.

Heisenberg. Okay.

Have a seat, Heisenberg.

I don't imagine

I'll be here very long.

No?

[CHUCKLES]

All right.

Be that way.

It's your meeting.

Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want?

Fifty thousand dollars.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, man.

Fifty G's? How you figure that?

Thirty-five for the pound of meth you stole and another 15 for my partner's pain and suffering.

Partner.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, yeah,

I remember that little bitch.

So you must be daddy.

Let me get this straight.

[CHUCKLES]

I steal your dope.

Hm?

I beat the piss out of your mule boy, and then you walk in here and you bring me more meth?

[LAUGHING]

Whoo!

That's a brilliant plan, ese.

Brilliant.

You got one part of that wrong.

This is not meth.

[MEN SHOUTING]

Are you fucking nuts?

You wanna find out?

No, no, Gonzo, calma. Calma.

Calma.

You got balls,

I'll give you that.

All right, all right.

I'll give you your money.

That crystal that your partner brought me, it sold faster than 10-dollar ass in TJ.

Let's say you bring me another pound next week.

Money up front.

All right.

Money up front.

Sometimes you gotta rob to keep your riches.

Just as long as we got an understanding.

One pound is not gonna cut it.

You have to take two.

[LAUGHS]

[COUGHING]

Oh, really?

Hey.

What is that shit?

Fulminated mercury and a little tweak of chemistry.

[CHUCKLES]

[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[GROWLING]

[COUGHING]

[SILVER SEAS'

"CATCH YER OWN TRAIN" PLAYING]

♪ I wish I was strong ♪

♪ Good enough from the start ♪

[ENGINE STARTS]

♪ Instead of waiting so long ♪

♪ To reveal what's behind ♪

[SIRENS BLARING]

♪ There's no use in talking ♪

♪ You made up your mind ♪

♪ Baby, you and I ♪

♪ Are not the same ♪

♪ You say you're like the sun ♪

♪ I'm like the rain ♪

♪ Say, before we go ♪

♪ Do it all again ♪

♪ You better catch

Your own train ♪

♪ You better catch you

Your own train ♪