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Mas

I am awake.

You are not how I remember you from class.

I mean, like, not at all.

Dude, this isn't even 7 grand, all right? My guy wants 85.

This is all the money I have in the world.

You are a drug dealer.

Negotiate.

Buy the RV.

We start tomorrow.

[LUKE WALKER & DJ LOKI'S

"ALPACA" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[YELLS]

Work it, work it, baby.

Yo, this is sick, brother.

Totally. God.

Yo, Jesse, I got these two fine ladies who wanna participate.

You got the funds?

JESSE: Oh, I got the funds. Hey.

Would you ladies like to meet my fat stack?

[LAUGHING]

Get in here.

Come on.

Hey, yo, yo.

Yo, you got champagne?

None of that cheap stuff.

I want the expensive shit.

Don Pérignon.

It's 400 a bottle.

Oh, well, in that case,

I'll only have two.

Oh, and I want the tall, skinny glasses.

I like those skinny glasses.

That's what James Bond drinks.

Mofos, I'm all about that.

Yo, Jesse, man, I gotta ask.

Where did you get all the cheddar?

Must be moving mad volume.

It's funny. You wanna know what's funny?

What's funny?

This old dude, he gave it to me.

What?

He gave it to me.

It's his entire life savings.

What? Why?

Because he's a dumb-ass.

That's why.

Oh, God.

STRIPPER:

Whoo!

JESSE:

Yes! Whoo!

All right, living large, players.

[TEDDYBEARS'

"ROCKET SCIENTIST" PLAYING]

♪ Get, get, get, get ♪

♪ I'm not a rocket scientist ♪

♪ I rock the house

And sign the tits ♪

♪ And that's it ♪

♪ Don't take no astrophysicist

To make your ass throw fits ♪

♪ Now sistas, kick it ♪

♪ I'm the robot Elvis

Rocking my bionic pelvis ♪

♪ I'm technotronic

Sipping gin and tonic ♪

♪ Like I'm selfish ♪

♪ I am the killer

Shaking up some old ♪

♪ Rock and roll fool ♪

♪ Them drum-machines

Ain't got no soul ♪

♪ I keep it cool ♪

♪ Like Eskimo chicks

On Discovery Channel ♪

♪ I'm hot like Telemundo chicas

On a solar panel ♪

♪ See me on Sesame Street ♪

♪ Coolin' in

A cold chillin tee ♪

♪ I slap you silly like ♪

♪ Hillbilly chicks

On daytime TV ♪

[GUYS LAUGHING]

JESSE:

Thank you. Yo, thank you.

Thank you.

That was...

[VOMITS]

Awesome, bro.

Later.

Oh, man.

Oh, I'm so dead.

I only got...

Oh, damn.

I only got like 1400.

Waffle House? Yeah.

No, man.

Supposed to use that dude's money to buy an RV.

What do you want with a RV for?

Because, like...

Because, like...

Never mind.

Jesus.

Now I gotta, like, leave town or change my identity or something.

Guy's blackmailing me.

He's got, like, a criminal mind, yo.

RV, yeah?

I can hook you up, bro.

I can totally get you an RV.

No, I need it today. Now.

No problem. Let's go.

You're telling me you can get me an RV?

For 1400, at 6 in the morning?

[GROANS]

[DOGS BARKING]

Right on.

So do I need to sign something?

No, it's, like, a no-paperwork-type deal.

Pleasure doing business with you.

[CLATTERING]

Come on, we gotta bounce.

What?

For real, yo.

Get it out of here.

[RV ENGINE STARTS]

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

[♪♪♪]

[SHOWER RUNNING]

Ooh.

Oh, my God, I love this floor.

This feels fantastic.

Can you control the temperature?

TED:

Yeah. There should be a switch right next to you there.

It's a thermostat.

[SIGHS]

Ted, this has gotta be the most amazing invention ever.

I know. Contractor talked me into it.

Seemed kind of extravagant, but...

I gotta tell you, once you try it, you can't go back.

I can never find anything in this Buick.

You know, you could leave a few things here if you want.

[DANCE MUSIC

PLAYING ON RADIO]

Why don't you go get your dad?

Sure.

[KNOCKS]

Hey, Dad.

Dad?

Yeah.

Mom's asking.

Wanna come to dinner?

Yeah, I'll be right there.

You're not listening to me.

I don't know.

JESSE:

Yeah, right,

like you don't know.

What did I just say?

Give me the phone. Give it.

Like you didn't make some deal behind my back.

Correct. I did not.

I was sitting at a stoplight minding my own business, when the man-- The man...

The kid threw a bag of money through my window.

Whatever, man.

You owe me that money.

Let me talk to him.

I owe you?

I owe you nothing.

And I will get to the bottom of this. Trust me.

Trust you? Trust you?

That's a good one.

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

You wanna talk about trust,

Jesse? Let's talk.

I told you not to cook my formula, and you went ahead and did it anyway.

Because I never said

I wouldn't cook it, because it ain't yours.

It's ours. Plural, bitch.

You did not have my permission.

All I know is I got half the money I'm due and you got the rest.

SAUL:

Escalating. You're escalating.

You know what? Escalate this.

My meth, my money!

I will be a one-man

glass factory.

I will rock that RV 24--

It's buttoned up tight.

Can't see a damn thing.

I ain't feeling it.

No smoke, no smell, no waste.

There's no cook.

Could be they're setting up.

I heard movement inside.

I say we call it a night, come back with a search warrant.

I'm not letting this sucker out of my sight.

There's gotta be a way.

There's gotta be a way.

There's gotta be a way...

Hey, hey, hey.

[♪♪♪]

GOMEZ:

What are you doing?

[SCREAMING]

GOMEZ:

No, no, no.

MAN:

What the hell are you doing up there?

Are you some kind of a pervert?

MAN:

Yeah, because we were here last year.

HANK:

Sorry. I appreciate...

Going after the bad guys.

I'm sorry and enjoy the rest of your vacation. Okay?

Go back to your trailers.

Everything's okay.

Guy's VFW. He's cool.

We're gonna check out a couple more and call it a morning.

Okay, what do you say?

Can't. Gotta get home.

Why, you leave your balls in your wife's purse or what?

Gotta pack.

Where you headed?

Texas.

[EASY-LISTENING MUSIC

PLAYING ON RADIO]

[DOOR OPENS]

MARIE:

Hey there.

Hank?

Hank?

[KNOCKS]

Can I come in?

HANK: Hey, babe.

MARIE: Hey.

How did it go last night?

Good.

Catch the bad guys?

Nope.

Want me to make you some breakfast?

No. I'm, uh...

I'm heading back out after this.

Now? You worked all night.

Get some sleep, Hank.

Those RVs aren't going anywhere.

They're recreational vehicles,

Marie. That's what they do.

You know what I mean.

I spoke with Blanca.

She said that Steven's going to El Paso?

Yeah.

I was just wondering how you feel about that.

I turned it down. End of story.

Good. Good.

Jesus, God knows

I'm relieved.

I needed some time here because I'm deep into this investigation and couldn't do both, so I made a judgment call.

You know that you can talk to me about things, right?

You don't have to go through this alone.

Do you ask me which lead bib to put on someone before you nuke them?

Jesus, Marie.

I made a decision.

I'm not going through anything.

Doing my job.

I would like--

I know. I know.

A condo in Georgetown. I know.

If you would let me finish,

I was going to say

I'd like to be included.

That's all.

Don't you worry about my career.

My career is just fine.

Did you not wanna go?

I don't blame you.

I just--

Aren't you late for work or something?

After what happened, it would make perfect sense for you to not wanna go back.

I'm onto some important stuff right here, now.

Mexico doesn't have a damn thing to do with it.

Anyone who doubts that...

I mean, I'm doing some actual good out here and all I get are these bullshit accusations!

What, everyone thinks

I'm jerking off on this thing?

Fine.

But I'm onto something.

I know it.

You understand me?

You hear me?

WALT:

What exactly is this?

I'll tell you what I think it is.

A ploy.

A ploy to get me cooking again.

And an obvious one at that.

How do you mean?

As if I would seriously believe you would hire an addict.

Jesse Pinkman?

Recovering or not.

You vouched for him previously.

I took you at your word.

No. No, no, no. Let me be clear.

Let me be perfectly clear.

Jesse was capable of working under my supervision.

Trusting him with a solo venture, well, that's quite another matter.

How he could possibly produce anything other than a mediocre product at best.

I am told his product was more or less consistent with the quality

I had come to expect.

More or less?

More or less? Really?

Wow.

Boy, that is the...

Talk about setting the bar low.

Except you don't do that, set the bar low.

Therefore, what conclusion am I left to draw?

That you believe I have some proprietary kind of selfishness about my own formula.

Some sort of overweening pride, I suppose, that you think simply overwhelms me, clouds my judgment.

But it doesn't.

Absolutely not.

I simply respect the chemistry.

The chemistry must be respected.

I apologize for being so transparent.

Would you take a drive with me?

I'd like to show you something.

[CAR APPROACHES]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Hi. Is everything okay?

MARIE:

She's finished an entire bottle, but she still seemed hungry.

She fell asleep.

I was thinking I'd give her another when she wakes up.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

Fatten that baby up.

Will do.

Um...

Was that it?

So where are you?

Are you at work?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm at work.

I shouldn't be much longer.

Is that okay?

You know I love my little pookums.

You can leave her with me for the next 18 years as far as I'm concerned.

Great. Thanks, Marie.

Are you sure you're okay?

Sweetie, what is it? Come on.

It's Hank.

Hank? What about him?

I don't know how to talk to him.

I don't know what to say to him anymore. I don't know how to...

Ever since El Paso, ever since--

Maybe before...

Yeah. God knows he went through a lot down there.

People blown up right in front of him, blood everywhere, and last week,

El Paso said they want him back.

Yeah?

He's not going. Steve Gomez is going in his place, and I don't know how I feel about that.

Well, he's certainly a lot safer up here, isn't he?

Of course, and I want him safe.

But I can't tell what he wants.

He won't talk to me.

He hardly even comes home.

He works all day, all night.

Barely eats, barely speaks to me.

It's like something's

eating him away from inside.

He's just not the same.

He's not.

Facing death, it changes a person.

It has to, don't you think?

I guess you've noticed a change in Walt.

Please.

What is this?

Your new lab.

[PEDER'S "TIMETAKES

THETIMETIMETAKES" PLAYING]

My God.

Thorium oxide for a catalyst bed.

Look at the size of this reaction vessel.

Oh, it's got...

It's gotta be 1200 liters.

Wow. Where--? Where--?

How did you know how to put this all together?

I had excellent help, as will you.

Quite a lot of planning went into this.

I would say so.

The laundry upstairs,

I've owned it for years.

It receives large chemical deliveries on a weekly basis, detergents and such.

There is nothing suspicious about it, and my employees, to be sure, are well-trained, trustworthy.

The filtration system is state-of-the-art.

It will vent nothing but clean, odorless steam, just as the laundry does, and through the very same stacks.

I need 200 pounds per week to make this economically viable.

You would choose your own hours, of course, come and go as you please, so long as the quota is met.

Sorry.

The answer is still no.

I have made a series of very bad decisions, and I cannot make another one.

Why did you make these decisions?

For the good of my family.

Then they weren't bad decisions.

What does a man do,

Walter?

A man provides for his family.

This cost me my family.

When you have children, you always have family.

They will always be your priority, your responsibility.

And a man...

A man provides.

And he does it even when he's not appreciated or respected or even loved.

He simply bears up, and he does it, because he's a man.

[SHOWER RUNNING]

TED:

Any chance we could grab a quick bite?

Thai place around the corner's pretty good.

Um, I really gotta head home.

All right, rain check, then.

WALT JR.:

She said it was the tofu.

[SKYLER LAUGHS]

Whatever. She's still cute anyways.

Um...

Great dinner, Mom.

Can I be excused?

To do homework or to play video games?

I can multitask.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

[BABY COOING]

[BABY CRYING]

You wanna take her?

[♪♪♪]

Yeah.

[♪♪♪]

HANK:

Give me something, Andy.

Come on.

[AGENTS CHATTERING

AND LAUGHING]

Welded onto the back of a house.

Well, that's classy.

Christ.

Okay. Okay, thanks.

Hey, Janice. Janice.

That the last one?

Sorry, Hank.

That's all DMV had.

Twenty-nine early-'80s Bounders registered in New Mexico.

Could you check again?

Now?

Can I do it after the party?

Janice, I'm...

I'm dead in the water here.

Okay, I'll check.

MAN:

Hey, how are you guys doing?

GOMEZ:

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna clean it really good, I tell you.

All good.

Gomey.

GOMEZ: Yeah.

Time for the little bird to fly the nest, huh?

The right guy for the job, seeing as the bean-speak comes natural and all.

Wanna know how to say

"get bent" in Spanish?

Just don't go native on me, all right?

Oh, uh...

Hey, uh...

Here.

Know your enemy and all.

Fight the good fight, brother.

I will.

Who got a drink around here?

Your hunch was right.

One more RV.

DMV said the registration wasn't renewed, but then they realized it was never filed as non-operational or destroyed.

No police report, either.

[♪♪♪]

SKYLER:

I just don't know what the hell

I'm doing anymore, you know?

It's like I'm paralyzed, like if I take a step in any direction

I'm gonna make a spectacular mistake.

God, I could go for a glass of wine about now.

You wanna go to--?

Sorry, never mind.

Ech.

Anyway... breaking news is

I am sleeping with my boss and I don't know why.

Wow.

Yep.

That's a lie. I do know why.

I mean, he's a lovely guy.

He's a really good person, but, I mean, it's not like we're ever gonna...

[CHUCKLES]

Somehow, and I can't actually believe it, but my entire family sees me as some sort of...

My own sister, my brother-in-law.

My teenage son tells me I'm a bitch.

And you say tell him the truth.

Tell him about his father, but I can't.

Ever.

How could I?

And this man that I'm seeing, you know, as wrong as I know it is, as much as I know I'm probably doing it to make Walt leave me, it is the only thing in my day where I don't feel... like I'm... drowning.

So he knows about this other man?

Yeah.

So then he'll sign?

Um, Walt says he's not going anywhere, so that's a really brilliant gambit on my part. Yep.

Genius.

He keeps money in the house.

Your husband, the drug dealer?

How much money?

I didn't count it.

It's heavy.

A bag, where he keeps it.

Are you asking my permission to spend this money?

No. God, no. I just--

No, I'm just, you know...

I'm just trying to just talk it through. That's...

Let me just say that I'm half as qualified and twice the price of a therapist.

There is nothing to discuss here.

I'm just saying, you know?

We have a history.

He's the father of my children, and maybe what he did, he--

He did it for the family.

Right?

Well, guess what.

That is one enormous load of horse shit.

Okay.

I'm gonna spell this out as simply as I can for you.

You are a fool to stay in that house one minute longer.

If your husband won't leave, then you go.

You are now an accessory after the fact.

You are culpable.

You, your children, you could lose everything you own.

Do you understand?

All courtesy of this criminal you refuse to divorce.

I didn't marry a criminal.

Well, you're married to one now.

SAUL:

How's about we run through this one more time, especially where I do the talking, you don't say jack?

Oh, I'm gonna say jack.

I'm gonna say plenty.

What did we say about escalating, huh?

Who's got your back here?

Me, all right?

I'm gonna take care of things.

What are the parameters of this sobriety thing you got going?

What do you mean?

Can you take a Xanax?

Because I got a drawer full of them.

I get them from my "chiropractor."

Vietnamese, 5-foot tall.

She adjusts you to "completion."

Her name's Kim Nu Suong, as delicious as it sounds.

I should give you her card.

Hell with this.

I'm out of here.

WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]:

He's here.

Send him in.

Hello, Walt.

Good to see you.

Please, have a seat here.

Mr. Pinkman, if you will.

You're late.

Gentlemen, if we could come to some accommodation here now.

There's always a way to oil everyone's lock.

This young man is prepared to offer you a sweetheart of a deal for doing precisely nothing.

Really?

Ten percent of all future profits from his solo venture.

That's money you get paid for walking down to the mailbox.

Consider it a gesture of respect for your valuable contribution to the business thus far.

I'm sure you'll agree that's fair.

That's charity, is what that is.

I do all the work.

He sits around on his fat ass judging people.

Eh, eh. Escalating. Stop.

So there's that, but then there's one small detail.

Clearly a mistake was made on the part of our mutual associate when he paid you half of Jesse's earnings.

He must not have realized that you two had come to a parting of the ways.

Take it.

It belongs to you.

You're damn right it belongs to me.

I knew I could count on you boys to play nice. That's--

That almost brings a tear to my eye.

Enjoy it.

Spend it in good health.

That is the last money you'll ever earn in this business.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I hate to break it to you, Jesse, but our mutual associate was only using you to get to me.

What are you talking about?

See, he needs someone with expertise, someone who knows what he's doing.

In other words, he needs me.

You're telling me you're cooking again?

Yeah. Let's see, how should I put this?

I'm in.

You're out.

Whoa, whoa, Walt, hold on there.

What was the offer, if I may ask?

It's 3 million for three months of my time.

SAUL:

You're gonna need that money laundered. Of course.

What was our deal before?

Seventeen percent.

That's a shade high.

Let's settle on an even 15.

That's a nice round number.

Five percent.

Fourteen's fair.

Five.

Thirteen.

Five.

Twelve. For old times' sake.

Five.

I'm a reasonable guy.

It's a short-term deal.

Ten even, but I can't go any lower and still respect myself.

Five.

What in the hell just happened?

You're my lawyer, not his.

That's the way of the world, kid. Go with the winner.

You think this will stop me from cooking?

Cook whatever you like.

As long as it's that ridiculous

Chili P or some other dreck, but don't even think about using my formula.

Just try and stop me, bitch.

[GRUNTING]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[DOORBELL BUZZING]

Yes?

Hi there, Mrs. Ortega?

Yes.

Hi, I'm Hank Schrader.

I'm with the

Drug Enforcement Administration.

We're interested in an RV that's registered to your name and address.

Do you have an RV?

I did.

It was stolen months ago.

Stolen, huh? Yeah.

Well, then I'm curious as to why the theft was never reported.

I'm not seeing any records of it with the police or the DMV.

I just didn't get around to it.

May I ask why?

I mean, it's a great way to get the family together for an affordable vacation.

It must've been a blow when it went missing.

It was.

Do you have any ideas at all who might've taken it?

I didn't want him arrested.

He ran with a bad crowd, but he was never a bad person.

I thought he could turn his life around.

Who are we talking about,

Mrs. Ortega?

My son.

I'd really like to speak with him.

He's passed away.

He was shot two months ago.

What was your son's name?

Christian.

Christian Ortega.

Was his nickname Combo?

[♪♪♪]

Thanks for this.

I really appreciate it.

[♪♪♪]