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Fly

SKYLER:

♪ Hush, little baby

Don't say a word ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy

You a mockingbird ♪

♪ And if that mockingbird

Won't sing ♪

[BABY COOING]

♪ Mama's gonna buy you

A diamond ring ♪

♪ And if that diamond ring

Turns brass ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy you

A looking glass ♪

♪ So hush, little baby

Don't you cry ♪

♪ Daddy loves you

And so do I ♪

[♪♪♪]

[ALARM BEEPING]

[BEEPING STOPS]

[♪♪♪]

Surprised he doesn't make us do that.

JESSE:

The pack totally has a pecking order.

And the head hyena, he's the man, you know.

All the other ones have to, like, kiss his ass.

I mean, literally.

It's so gross.

They have to lick his junk.

I can't believe they even showed it on TV.

[GROANS]

Yo, if this is supposed to be all, like, major-league and all, we should have equipment maintainer guys.

And water boys, you know?

Yo, Gatorade me, bitch.

Get us a couple flunkies in here.

Treat us right.

JESSE:

Okay, 15 hours starts now.

I'm gonna hit it, if that's cool with you.

I don't understand.

What?

These numbers, they just don't add up.

Told you.

Dude's totally boning us.

No, it's not that.

It's our output. We're off.

We're .14 percent off.

Point one-four.

That's, what, like--?

What does that mean?

It means we should be netting more than we're netting.

So how far off are we?

It's not negligible.

Ball-parking at it,

I'd say we're a quarter to a half a pound shy.

That's weird.

Well, what about spillage?

Spillage?

You know, when, like, just stuff gets spilled.

Nothing gets spilled.

A little maybe.

Nothing gets spilled.

What about evaporation?

It wouldn't account for this much.

The materials aren't out that long.

What about the other one?

The drops, like on--

Like on, like, cold beer.

Condensation?

Yeah.

No.

Well, what about the crap that gets left behind?

You know, all the gunk we scrape out of the vats.

Gotta add up to like a gallon each.

Did you work that in?

Vestiges.

Yeah. Vestiges.

Bet that's it.

Bet that's totally it.

[CLAPS]

Hey, Mr. White.

Mr. White.

Huh?

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, why?

Nothing.

Are you coming?

Yeah, in a minute.

All right, see you tomorrow.

[FLY BUZZING]

[FLY BUZZING]

[FLY BUZZING]

All right.

Shit.

Bastard.

Son of a--

[YELLS]

Come on, you--

Come on, come on.

Son of a--

Ah!

Come on.

Ah!

Son of a bitch.

Ha!

That's great.

[GROANS]

All right.

[FLY BUZZING]

You little bastard.

Ooh! Ooh!

[COUGHING]

[FLY BUZZING]

[♪♪♪]

[WIND WHISTLING]

WALT:

Shut the door!

My ears are popping.

Shut the door. Move.

JESSE:

Feels like on an airplane.

What the hell's doing that?

WALT:

Positive pressure.

Positive what?

God, it frigging kills, yo.

Well, just move your jaw around.

I am moving it around.

It's not working.

Just yawn or something.

Stop acting like such a baby.

Damn.

What positive?

Positive what?

Pressure. I've turned the ventilation up to keep the outside out.

There's been a contamination.

Wait. What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, hold up.

WALT:

Something got into the lab.

So, uh, what do we do?

I mean, do we--?

Wait. Wait.

I mean, shouldn't we be wearing masks?

No, no, it's not that kind of contaminant.

So it's, like, not dangerous?

Mr. White, talk to me here.

Not to us particularly, no.

What the hell is that?

This is, uh--

I made it.

So exactly what kind of contaminant are we dealing with here?

A fly.

What do you mean?

A fly, like--

Like, what do you mean?

I mean, a fly.

A housefly.

Like, uh, one fly?

Singular?

What did it do?

It got into the lab.

I'm trying to get it out.

Okay? Understand?

No, man, not really.

I can't say that I'm really following you here.

Dude, you scared the shit out of me!

When you say it's contamination, I mean,

I'm thinking like an Ebola leak or something.

Ebola.

Yeah, it's a disease on The Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip out of your butt.

Thank you.

I know what Ebola is.

Uh-huh.

Now, tell me.

What would a

West African virus be doing in our lab?

Hm?

So you're chasing around a fly, and in your world,

I'm the idiot.

Jesse, listen.

This fly--

No, any fly cannot be in our lab.

It's a problem.

It's a contamination.

And that is in no way a misuse of the word. Okay?

So in terms of keeping our cook clean and our product unadulterated, we need to take this very seriously.

Now do you understand?

So is that your fly-saber?

This is a swatter.

And it happens to work quite well, thank you.

Uh-huh. Hey, what happened to your head?

Nothing. I'm fine.

You didn't hit it, like really, really hard?

My head is not the problem, Jesse.

The fly is the problem.

You didn't happen to maybe try our product, did you?

Jesse, I know this seems unusual to you, a layman.

A fly. I get it.

It seems insignificant, right?

But trust me, in a highly controlled environment such as this... any pollutant... no matter how small... could completely...

Hello?

What?

Were you here all night?

Have you even slept?

No. Jesse, look.

I'm fine, okay?

Will you just please focus on--?

[BEEPING]

[BEEPING STOPS]

Okay, look, we're running late, so let's just get started.

The sooner we do it, the sooner we're done.

Fricking finally.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you doing?

It's time to alkaline.

Have you not heard a word I said?

No cooking until this fly is dealt with.

Have I been speaking to myself?

The timer went off, yo.

How long is this batch gonna be good for?

An hour? Two?

The batch will be good for nothing if we don't clear the contaminant.

"Clear the contaminant."

We're making meth here, all right? Not space shuttles.

We're making nothing until we catch this fly.

What fly? All right?

Where the hell is this fly?

Not like I even seen the thing.

Maybe your positive pressure blew it out the door or something.

No, no, it is here.

It is around, okay?

He's around, and I am not going to expose this batch to the open air and contamination, period.

Now, you can leave me to deal with this myself or you can help me.

But you are right.

We are running out of time.

So I need your answer right now.

Okay.

Hey, tick-tock, yo.

Look, I like making cherry product, but let's keep it real, all right?

We make poison for people who don't care.

We probably have the most un-picky customers in the world.

No, no, no.

No rationalizing.

We'll find it any minute.

Don't give up.

Did you know that there's an acceptable level of rat turds that can go into candy bars?

That's the government,

Jack.

Even the government doesn't care that much about quality.

You know what is okay to put in hotdogs, huh?

Pig lips and assholes.

But I say, hey, have at it, bitches, because I love hotdogs.

And, you know, see what I'm try--?

What are you doing?

Oh, hey.

Look, let me just top it off, all right, really quick.

You know, a little sodium hydroxide, shut the lid. No harm done.

Then we're golden.

It stays closed.

That's an order.

You can't order shit,

Adolf, all right?

We're 50-50 partners, remember?

Ow!

God, what is your problem?

Freaking psycho. Oh!

Jesse.

Oh, God.

It, like, hit bone.

Jesse.

Jesse.

You see it, right?

You see it?

Yeah.

Get it.

You want me to get it?

Yes.

Whoa.

Slow. Move slowly.

I know. I'm moving slowly, yeah.

Absolutely. I'm just gonna need your swatter thing.

Come on.

Oh, yeah. It's okay, come on.

Yeah.

Yeah, come on.

Just make it count.

Yeah, no, no,

I'm gonna--

I'm gonna make it count, all right.

Okay. Now, on three.

Okay.

One--

Oh! Motherfuck--!

Yeah. You like that, huh?

Hurts, huh?

Did you get it?

I think so, yeah.

Where is it?

I don't know.

What does it matter?

Who cares? I got it.

Oh, Jesus, seriously?

Where is it?

It's right there. Look.

Look. See?

I told you I got it.

This is a raisin.

Look, I definitely got it, man, all ri--

[FLY BUZZING]

Oh, man.

He's got some skills, yo.

I'll give him that.

Look.

I feel like I'm running out of ways to explain this to you, but once more,

I shall try.

This fly is a major problem for us.

It will ruin our batch.

And we need to destroy it and every trace of it so we can cook.

Failing that... we're dead.

There is no more room for error.

Not with these people.

All right, how about we go get some air?

"Get some air"?

Your answer to,

"We're sliding headfirst into a massive crap--"

Hey, hey, hey, Mr. White.

All right, I understand that the fly is a serious thing now.

All right? I'm on board.

I'm just saying, you know, maybe if we went and got some air it would help us come up with a plan on how to catch it.

Then come back down here and subtract his ass.

Oh, wait, do you have your keys?

Yeah.

You sure? Last thing we need is to get locked out.

Yeah. Hey!

If you're not gonna help me, stay out of my way!

Hey!

Yo, yo, does somebody have an ax I can use? El ax-o!

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

El ax-o!

[CUMBRE NORTEÑA'S "SIMPLEMENTE

AMAME" PLAYING ON RADIO]

[FLY BUZZING]

There we go.

Say good night.

[CLATTERING]

Son of a bitch!

Son of a--

Damn it.

Where in the hell is that...?

What the hell?

[KNOCKING]

Need some juice maybe?

JESSE:

Knock yourself out.

It's a real one.

Yeah, like yours was working.

No, no, no.

Look, we're trying to decontaminate.

You don't decontaminate by contaminating further.

What the hell is all this?

Here, how about this?

"Non-toxic glue strips."

Yeah, baby.

It's got pheromones, all right?

I got a butt-load.

We hang them up all over the place.

It won't be able to resist.

I sure hope we have enough.

JESSE:

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say yeah.

WALT:

Do you see him?

How long do you think you've been awake?

Why do you keep asking me that?

Just figure, you know, you could use some coffee, is all. I know I could.

How about it?

Yeah.

You take cream and sugar?

Black is fine.

Why don't you just leave him be?

Let the traps do the work.

These pheromones are supposed to kick ass.

Bet we catch this mofo any second.

Thank you.

You ever have, like, a wild animal trapped in your house?

Not that I can recall, no.

We did, this one time, back when it was my aunt's house, back before she died of cancer.

It was a possum.

Big freaky-looking bitch.

Hey, since when did they change it to "opossum"?

What's up with that?

I mean, when I was coming up, it was just "possum."

You know, "opossum" makes it sound like he's Irish or something.

I mean, why they gotta go changing everything?

Whatever.

It's just big rats anyways.

Giant pink-tailed rats with their pink rat faces.

Totally freaky, like alien rats.

Actually, it's not so much that he got trapped, but he was living there, you know, under the house.

You could hear him going from, like, room to room, always scurrying around.

Sometimes I'd see him outside at night and it would just, you know, freeze.

I mean, it's like you're not looking right at it, right?

I mean, it thinks it's fooling you.

That's what they do.

I mean, they play dead or whatever.

It's just so lame.

Is there a discernible point to this story?

A point that you'll be arriving at sometime in the near future?

It was just a total bitch to get out.

You know, it took forever.

Guy came, set all these traps and all and he finally got it.

But my aunt, you know, she didn't believe it.

I mean, she kept insisting she could still hear the thing.

I mean, you could not tell her any different.

She started keeping an old umbrella, you know, by her chair.

Man, she would just bang on the floor and yell at it.

Even gave it a name.

It was Scrabble.

Yeah, that was it.

You know, "Scrabble, just knock it off."

Bang, bang, bang.

She got like that toward the end.

Got obsessive about stuff.

Just got mad about stuff.

We didn't know what was up.

It wasn't like her to be that way.

But it turned out that the cancer had spread to her brain and that was why.

It, um, metastasized.

But it was good that that was when we decided to take her to the doctor, because then we knew what was up.

You know, got her some treatment.

Meds, so she wasn't stressing all the time.

It was a lot better after that.

You know, she was a lot happier.

Where the hell is he?

I've been to my oncologist, Jesse, just last week.

I'm still in remission.

I'm healthy.

Okay, so good.

Great.

Well... no end in sight.

That's great.

Well...

I missed it.

There was some perfect moment and it passed me right by.

I had to have enough to leave them.

That was the whole point.

I mean, none of this--

None of this makes any sense if I didn't have enough.

But it had to be before she found out. Skyler.

It had to be before that.

Perfect moment for what?

To drop dead?

What, you saying you wanna die?

I'm saying

I've lived too long.

I mean, you want them to actually miss you, you know?

You want their memories of you to be...

But she just won't--

She just won't understand.

I mean, no matter how well

I explain it, these days, she just has this--

This--

I mean, I truly believe there exists some combination of words.

There must exist certain words in a certain specific order that would explain all of this, but with her, I just--

I just can't ever seem to find them.

Mr. White, how about you just sit down?

You know, I was thinking maybe before the fugue state, but before the fugue state,

I didn't have enough money.

So no, not then.

And plus, my daughter wasn't born yet.

It had to be after

Holly was born.

Mr. White--

Definitely before the surgery.

Oh, Christ.

That damn second cell phone.

I mean, how could

I possibly...?

Ah, I know the moment.

It was the night Jane died.

Yeah, I--

I was at home and we needed diapers, and so I said I'd go, but it was just an excuse.

Actually, that was the night

I brought you your money, remember?

Yeah, I remember.

But afterward,

I stopped at a bar.

It was odd.

I never do that, go to a bar alone.

I just walked in, sat down.

I never told you.

That you went to a bar?

No, I...

I sit down and this man, this stranger, he engages me in conversation.

He's a complete stranger.

But he turns out to be

Jane's father,

Donald Margolis.

What are you talking about?

Of course, I didn't know it at the time.

I mean, he was just some guy in a bar.

I didn't put it together until after the crash when he was all over the news.

Jane's dad.

I mean, think of the odds.

Once I tried to calculate them, but they're astronomical.

I mean, think of the odds of me going in, sitting down, that night in that bar next to that man.

What did you talk about?

Oh...

Water on Mars.

Family.

What about family?

I told him that

I had a daughter and he told me he had one too.

Then he said,

"Never give up on family."

And I didn't.

I took his advice.

The universe is random.

It's not inevitable.

It's simple chaos.

It's subatomic particles in endless aimless collision.

That's what science teaches us.

But what is this saying?

What is it telling us when, on the very night that this man's daughter dies, it's me who's having a drink with him?

I mean, how can that be random?

Hey, come on.

Hey, sit down.

No, no. No, it's--

No. No.

No, that was the moment.

That night.

I should never have left home.

Never gone to your house.

Maybe things would have...

Oh, thought I was--

I was at home watching TV.

It was some--

Some nature program about elephants.

And Skyler and Holly were in another room.

I could hear them on the baby monitor.

She was singing a lullaby.

If I had just lived right up to that moment, and not one second more...

[FLY BUZZING] that would have been perfect.

[FLY BUZZING]

Yeah. He's not coming down.

Must be Thailand-hot up there.

That's why he likes it.

Thailand's hot, right?

Yeah.

Then that's why.

Oh, Jesus.

Hey, hey, wait. Here.

[WHEELS ROLLING]

He's not coming down.

He's staying up there forever.

[CLATTERING]

What are you--?

What are you doing?

What do you think?

I'm gonna get that bitch.

No, you're gonna break your neck.

Yeah, yeah. Just--

WALT:

No, seriously, you're--

This is a bad idea.

[JESSE GRUNTING]

JESSE:

Damn it.

WALT:

Jesse.

Just hold onto it.

Hold it still?

[JESSE GRUNTING]

[FLY BUZZING]

[CREAKING]

Jesse.

I'm sorry.

Sorry for what, being a lunatic?

I'm sorry about Jane.

Yeah.

Me too.

I mean...

I'm very sorry.

It's not your fault.

It's not mine either.

It's no one's fault, not even hers.

You know, we are who we are, Mr. White.

You know, two junkies with a duffel bag full of cash.

Like you said, we both would've been dead within a week.

But I miss her, though.

God, I do.

Whoa. Whoa.

Jesse.

Come down.

Wait. I'm so close.

Let it go.

We need to cook.

What about the contamination?

It's all contaminated.

[FLY BUZZING]

JESSE:

All right, well,

I definitely scared him.

Probably stay out of our way.

[FLY BUZZING]

Yeah! Oh, zap!

Somebody got got, yo!

Did you see that, Mr. Wh--?

[WALT SNORING]

Bins are packed?

Bins are packed.

How's the yield?

Two-oh-two and change.

You okay getting home?

Yeah. Better. Thanks.

Mañana, then.

Jesse, come here.

I couldn't chance saying it inside.

For all I know, the lab's wired for sound.

That's half a pound

I said we were off by.

Now, I'm not accusing you, but if...

You understand?

And if they ever found out...

I didn't take shit.

I'm just saying that

I won't be able to protect you.

Who's asking you to?

[FLY BUZZING]

[♪♪♪]