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Shotgun

[TIRES SCREECHING]

WALT:

Say you understand.

You understand?

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Tell me you understand, Saul!

[HORN HONKING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Every dollar.

If you don't hear from me in 24 hours--

No, look. Shut-- Saul.

Saul, shut up.

Shut up and listen to me.

I want you to give her every last dollar, do you hear me?

I don't care if you stuff it in trash bags.

Just make sure she gets everything.

All right?

Just make it happen.

Ah!

[TIRES SCREECH]

[HORN HONKING]

SKYLER:

Hi. You've reached

the White family.

Please leave a message.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

Uh...

Hey. It's me.

Um...

I-- I...

I just wanted to say that I was thinking about you and the kids, and...

I love you.

[TIRES SCREECH]

[CAR HORNS HONK]

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[DOOR BELL DINGING]

Hello, would you like to try our breakfast chicken chalupa combo meal?

Gus Fring.

Excuse me?

Gustavo Fring, your boss.

Now, please.

Mr. Fring isn't here right now.

Is there some--?

He's here. His car is parked out front. He's here.

He was here.

Mr. Fring was--

You just go in the back and you tell him it's Walter White.

Understand?

He'll know what it's about.

I'll wait.

[♪♪♪]

[INAUDIBLE]

[DISHES CLATTERING]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[DOOR BELL DINGLES]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

MAN:

Yeah, let me get a chalupa special.

Hello?

MIKE [OVER PHONE]:

Walter, what exactly

are you doing?

Where's Jesse?

Jesse's with me.

He's fine.

What, do you expect me to just believe that?

I'm crossing

my heart, Walter.

Where is he?

Hold on.

JESSE:

Yo.

Jesse?

Yeah. What's up?

Jesse, w-w-where are you?

With Mike.

[WHISPERING]

I know you're with Mike.

Are-- Are you all right?

Does he have a gun on you?

No.

What's going on, then?

We're driving.

Driving.

Driving where?

I don't know.

Um, north?

[SIGHS]

Why is he driving you?

Where is he going?

Beats me.

I-- I don't--

Put Mike back on.

Hello again.

Mike, tell me now exactly what is going on.

Jesse's with me today.

So, what you need to do is to go back to your lab and get on with the cook.

You're gonna have to muddle through this one without him.

That's what's going on.

But it doesn't--

Goodbye, Walter.

Mike--

[♪♪♪]

Sir.

Excuse me. Hey.

You're not allowed back there.

Excuse me, sir.

As I said, sir,

Mr. Fring is not here.

This area is for employees only, and I have to ask that you leave immediately.

What you told Mr. White, that's...

It's just bullshit, right?

What, you, uh, figure on just leaving me in some ditch?

What do you care?

I don't.

But I'll tell you now, you better shoot straight, old man, or I'll slice off your other ear before this is over.

[TRUNK CREAKING CLOSED]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

You coming?

We gotta do this six more times today with a lot of miles in between.

I'd like to finish before dark.

[CAR DOOR CREAKING CLOSED]

[ENGINE STARTING]

HANK:

This freaking guy,

I tell you what.

It's like Scarface had sex with Mr. Rogers or something.

[LAUGHS]

Who does this, you know?

Your boy Heisenberg, thought we had him already.

Yeah. Keep dreaming.

Yeah, no. Getz busted him a few months back.

Yeah, well, no offense to Detective

Doogie Howser there, but all he caught was a dipshit lifer by the name of Jimmy In-'N-Out.

This one, he's your Heisenberg?

Yeah, I believe he is.

So, what are you thinking?

Rival drug gang taking out the mastermind?

Any names

I should check out?

I wish I could help you there.

Only two people I know connected with the blue stuff.

One is a beanie-wearing jizz stain by the name of Brandon Mayhew, street name "Badger."

Definitely not a player.

And the other one is Jesse Pinkman.

He and I have a history.

Yeah.

You see Pinkman as a shooter?

That would surprise me.

Well, we have a composite of a person of interest.

It's a guy the neighbors saw at Boetticher's place right after the shooting.

Yeah. Sorry.

No, hang on to it, just in case.

We got a couple of prints we're hoping to ID.

If I get any kind of hit,

I'll keep you in the loop on that.

You know, um, Tim, look, I appreciate what you're doing, really.

You know, keeping me involved and all.

But, you know, finding this guy

Heisenberg dead like this...

I have to say, it... kind of feels like closure to me, you know?

Hank, you really are a big help here.

No, I know.

I-- I get it, really.

But I'm done.

[COUGHS]

[SIGHS]

You don't need to do that.

This is why

I'm out here, right?

To be, like, your backup?

Uh-huh.

So if I'm out here in a guard-type capacity to watch over the money, that means I need, like, a gun, right?

Nope.

[SIGHS]

I mean, isn't that, like, completely idiotic for me to be out here without a gun?

You haven't said dick about what I'm supposed to be doing.

Now I'm supposed to do it without a gun?

How does that even make sense?

What? I can smoke, right?

Not a chance.

[ENGINE STARTING]

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

[WOMAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

[SIGHS]

[SPUTTERING]

[ROCK MUSIC BLARING

OVER RADIO]

[ROCK MUSIC TURNED OFF]

♪ Fallacies, fallacies ♪

♪ One for you

And two for me ♪

[YAWNING]

[SIGHS]

It's finally hitting me what the plan is here.

It's to bore me to death.

So mission accomplished, because it's totally working.

Great job.

You know, I really do get what's going on with all the dead drops and bags of cash.

Me and my boys had the exact same system when I was running things.

My crew.

Nowhere near the same cheese you guys are slinging, but same theory.

You know, maintain separation between dealer and supplier, reduce risk, et cetera.

Look, don't you think it'd be good if there was some back-and-forth communication here?

You got me riding shotgun to every dark anal recess in the state.

Be nice if you clued me in a little.

I mean, I'm here to do a job, right?

And, I mean, yo, like, if I'm the guy, then you should just tell me what the hell is up.

What?

You are not the guy.

You're not capable of being the guy.

I had a guy, but now I don't.

You are not the guy.

Then what the hell am I doing here?

I don't know.

It's not my call.

I just do what I'm told.

And now you're gonna do what you're told, which is to sit here, shut up, and stay in the car till we finish our pickups. You got it?

[♪♪♪]

[WOMAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

[MACHINE BEEPING]

[PANTING]

[WHIRRING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[WATCH BEEPING]

Oh!

We having second thoughts?

Every hour of every day.

[ALAN CHUCKLES]

Let me tell you, that is perfectly normal.

But your expectations are realistic.

You have a good, solid business plan.

I'm feeling very confident.

You have an excellent shot at making this work.

[SIGHS]

Walt?

Hm?

SKYLER: Are you good?

Yeah.

[EXHALES]

All right.

Well, my congratulations to the both of you.

Thank you very much, Alan.

It is my pleasure.

Mr. White.

Best of luck.

Thank you.

I'm bringing the car over first thing next week for a wash and wax.

Oh, we'll be looking for you.

ALAN: I'll be there.

[SKYLER LAUGHS]

Thank you again.

ALAN: You're welcome.

Bye-bye.

ALAN: Bye-bye.

Wow.

It's official.

How are you feeling?

I'm...

Well, I'm--

How do you feel?

Um...

Nervous.

Scared.

This is a big step,

Walt.

If we don't do this right--

We'll be fine.

We will?

Tell me again.

We will be fine.

Believe it.

If we're gonna do this,

I mean, really gonna do this, then we have to promise each other no more secrets.

There can't be any mistakes like before.

There has to be complete honesty.

I'm all for that.

Good.

Well, then, um, how about a drink to celebrate?

Well--

Well, we own a big-ass car wash now.

We do. I guess that merits a celebration.

Nothing too expensive.

Right. Right.

Non-fancy liquor it is.

Yes.

Just as long as it gets the job done.

Oh.

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

WALT [OVER ANSWERING MACHINE]:

Uh, i-it's me.

I just wanted to say that I was

thinking about you and--

And the kids, and, uh...

I love you.

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

[MOANING]

[BOTH PANTING]

Okay.

Okay.

Just take it off.

Just take it off.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[SKYLER MOANING]

[SIGHS]

The sheets, they smell different than I remember.

Hm?

Don't they?

Oh.

New fabric softener.

Oh.

Yeah, I like it.

I, uh, also got a new haircut.

I don't know if you--

Oh, yes, I-- I was gonna say something.

Were you, really?

[LAUGHS]

I do like it.

Thanks.

So, um, dinner tomorrow night?

I told Marie that we'd come over and eat with them.

Think maybe you'll be free?

Yeah.

Yeah, we can do that.

That'll-- That'll be nice.

Good.

Marie says it's about the only thing that'll get Hank out of his room.

WALT, JR.:

Mom?

[DOOR CLOSES]

Ooh.

Hey, Mom? Dad?

WALT:

Hey, son.

Where are you?

WALT:

Uh, we're-- We're back here.

We'll be out in a minute.

Oh, God.

[WHISPERING]

Seriously?

I'm parked in the driveway.

Oh, this is going to make for some very interesting dinner conversation.

He is definitely gonna ask about our living situation now.

Maybe, um...

Maybe you should move back in.

You know, just so it's, uh, easier to explain to everyone.

You think?

[WATCH BEEPING]

I have to get back to work.

You know, schedule.

Yeah.

[FORKLIFT WHIRRING]

[FORKLIFT BEEPING]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Damn it.

Hey!

Hey! This is a two-man job.

I can't do it alone.

I'm done. That's it.

Finished. Nothing else happens until I get my partner back.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

[FOOTSTEPS]

Jesse?

Where's Jesse?

I need him.

You people have me down here trying to complete a two-man operation by myself!

It's unacceptable.

It's dangerous and counterproductive.

Jesse operates the forklift, not me.

That's just one of the many, many things he does around the lab that keeps us on schedule, so I suggest that you get him back down here as soon as you--

Are you listening to me?

Hello?

[FORKLIFT WHIRRING]

[FORKLIFT BEEPING]

Where do you want it?

This is it, right?

Last stop?

Last stop?

Hey, I've been counting, yo.

No more pickups after--

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪ Fallacies, fallacies ♪

[YAWNS]

♪ Fallacies, fallacies ♪

♪ One for you

And two for me ♪

♪ Fallacies... ♪

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[SIGHS]

[MEN SINGING IN SPANISH

OVER RADIO]

Yeah. I'm gonna need to be picked up. Now.

Garcia's on Central.

Honk once.

I'll meet you in the parking lot.

Cancel that.

Hey, this dude--

This dude was coming right at me with a--

With a shotgun.

They, like, blocked the alley and they were gonna rip us off.

I didn't have a choice, okay?

I had to put it in reverse, slam into the guy's car, and just--

[SIGHS]

I saw.

You saw.

Oh, Jesus.

I just--

I don't know.

Go ahead, kid.

Smoke up.

[CAR SQUEALING]

[SIGHING]

Morning.

Hey. Good morning, son.

You want me to pour you some juice?

I'll take a coffee.

Didn't know you started drinking coffee.

Yeah. I also started tying my own shoelaces too, all by myself.

[CHUCKLING]

Go grab a mug.

Milk? Sugar?

Just black.

Black. I like it.

Hey, Dad, I, uh--

I just gotta say...

I-- I just wanted to say it's really cool to have you here.

Thank you, son.

It's cool to be back home.

It just feels...

Mom said you're moving back in this Tuesday.

She...?

She said that?

Yeah.

Tuesday, is it?

Huh.

How about that?

[POUNDING]

Jesse. Jesse.

Yo, what's up?

What are you doing?

Um, breaking ice.

No, I mean, what are you--?

What are you doing here?

Where's your car?

Mike dropped me off.

Jesse.

Jesse!

What happened yesterday?

Where were you?

I was out with Mike, helped him make pickups.

Picking up what?

Cash. Dead drops.

Mike made the pickups and I guarded him.

You... guarded Mike?

What is this, some kind of a joke?

Hey, know what? Two dudes tried to rob us and I saved the stash.

I took care of business, just like I'm taking care of business right now.

You wanna stand there dicking around, or you wanna suit up and get to work?

Get in gear, yo, if you wanna do this, because I'm meeting up with Mike this afternoon.

What, again? Why?

Guess I have two jobs now.

[INDUSTRIAL MUSIC

PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES]

[POUNDING RESUMES]

WOMAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:

Los Pollos Hermanos,

can I take your order?

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Any injuries?

Twisted ankle, nothing too bad.

It all went like you thought it would, more or less.

I will, of course, reimburse you for the damage to your vehicles.

Hm.

Questions?

Uh-huh.

More than a few, yeah.

But I know better than to ask.

Anyway, just like you wanted.

The kid's a hero.

[CAR DOOR CLOSING]

SKYLER:

Just the idea of owning a car wash seems so daunting, but I have to remind...

Who is the most beautiful little girl in the world?

I think it's you.

So coming into a business like this, that's up and running and fully operational, puts us way ahead of the game.

You know, we're gonna still have some changeover time, and we'll have to hire some people.

But we do have a staff in place, so, you know, luckily we'll be able to hold on to most of Bogdan's employees.

We might lose a few to the

UltraWash across town, though.

[LAUGHS]

They're making a grab,

I hear.

You gonna put the kid to work?

I've got school.

I'm not talking about you.

Talking about your sister.

I wouldn't let you near my car.

Ha, ha.

Hey, that's not a bad idea, you guys.

You should put Holly on the sign.

Like a mascot?

Like the Gerber baby.

I would get my car washed there every day if I saw her face out front.

What about me?

The goal is to bring customers in, not scare them away, so...

Walt, there's another bottle in the kitchen.

Just help yourself.

Ah. Good.

WALT, JR.:

Um, maybe we could roll

Uncle Hank through the car wash.

He could be the first customer.

[MARIE LAUGHS]

WALT JR.:

The wipe-down crew would clean you up good.

[ALL LAUGH]

HANK:

I got your wipe-down right here.

MARIE:

Hank, can we just maybe get through one meal without you grabbing your crotch?

So, what are you gonna do with Holly all day?

You can't take her to work with all those chemicals and migrants hanging around.

SKYLER: Marie...

MARIE: What? That can't be safe.

SKYLER:

Fortunately, five minutes from the car wash, there is the top child-care center in the city.

The National Child Care

Association gives it really high ratings.

So that's a huge relief and, you know, we could walk there if we had to.

HANK:

Sky, I gotta tell you,

I'm just--

I'm really, really impressed.

You came together on this.

I'm really happy that it's working out for you.

SKYLER:

It's been a little scary, but it needed to be done.

And we get possession of the keys tomorrow.

MARIE:

Oh, that's awesome.

WALT JR.:

I-- I-- I can't wait to see what kind of car I'm going to get for my birthday, now with all this money rolling in.

SKYLER:

I think you've been spending too much time around Hank.

WALT JR.:

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Right, Uncle Hank?

HANK:

Squeaky and greasy.

That's you, my friend.

[SKYLER LAUGHS]

HANK:

Hey, Nick the Greek, you gonna share that bottle or what?

Oh. Yeah. Sorry.

WALT JR.:

Who's Nick the Greek?

He's a famous big-time card player.

Hank, that's not funny.

What? It's a compliment.

Well, that's even worse, then.

You're giving positive reinforcement to behavior that Walt is working very, very hard to change.

Right, Skyler?

Yeah.

I don't see how it's bad.

Dad's raking in the beaucoup bucks now.

You know, I just think maybe we could change the subject?

Yeah. Sure. You know.

Absolutely.

Hey, Uncle Hank, what about that case you were looking at with that crazy singing guy?

Ah, I'm off that.

I-- I gave my assessment to A.P.D. I'm done.

The case of the crazy singing guy.

Hm, sounds like an Encyclopedia Brown story.

Crazy is--

Is the wrong word.

This guy, Gale Boetticher, he was-- He was eccentric.

A real character, you know?

He's-- He's dead now.

SKYLER:

Who was he?

WALT JR.:

He was a meth cook.

HANK:

Uh, he was a meth chef.

I mean, we're talking five stars.

Candles and white tablecloth.

Hey, I can't believe these words are gonna come out of my mouth, but he was a genius, plain and simple.

I mean, boy, if he had applied that big brain of his to something good,

I don't know, who knows, he could've helped humanity or something like that.

I mean, how many actual geniuses are there in the world, right?

If he'd kind of taken his life in a different direction, who knows?

Hank... not to tell you your business, but I'm not sure I agree.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, you showed me that notebook, and from what I saw--

And this is just my humble opinion.

From what I saw on those papers...

Genius?

Not so much.

I mean, there was no reasoning, no deductions in those pages.

So to my eye, all his brilliance looks like nothing more than just simple rote copying.

Probably of someone else's work.

Believe me, I have been around enough students to know.

This genius of yours... maybe he's still out there.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Hank.

Oh, hey, babe.

Uh, Tim stopped by.

He-- He brought over some file boxes on that case.

Thought I'd take another peek.

That's great.

Sorry about the mess.

No, no, no. Don't be.

You want me to make some coffee?

Yeah.

Yeah, that'd be good.

Hm.

You find something?

Oh, just this guy

I'm looking at.

You know, everything he--

He buys and eats is organic, fair trade, vegan.

Since when do vegans eat fried chicken?

[♪♪♪]