Home > Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Trials and Tribble-ations

Welcome to Deep Space 9.

I'm Major Kira. I'm Dulmer.

Lucsly. Department of Temporal Investigations.

We've been expecting you.

DAX: I guess you boys from Temporal Investigations are always on time.

Where's Captain Sisko?

Are you sure you don't want anything?

Just the truth, Captain.

You'll get it.

Where do you want to start?

The beginning.

If there is such a thing.

Captain, why'd you take the Defiant back in time?

It was an accident.

So you're not contending it was a predestination paradox?

A time loop-- that you were meant to go back into the past.

Uh, no.

Good. We hate those.

So... what happened?

This may take some time.

Is that a joke?

No.

Good.

We hate those, too.

All right, Captain, whenever you're ready.

Two weeks ago, the Cardassian government contacted me and wanted to return an Orb to the Bajorans.

Orb?

They're devices of an alien origin that are considered sacred objects by the Bajoran people.

SISKO: Each has a unique property, like the Orb of Prophecy or the Orb of Wisdom.

The one we received from the Cardassians was the Orb of Time, although we didn't know that at first.

SISKO: But when the Defiant arrived at Cardassia Prime

we weren't sure if we were dealing with a genuine Orb

or one of the fakes that have cropped up over the years.

I had it secured in one of the crew quarters

so we could bring it back to Bajor for authentication,

but before we left Cardassia,

we took on a passenger.

Humans!

I never thought I'd see another normal face again.

This is Mr. Waddle.

Yeah, Barry. Call me Barry.

We are taking him back to the Federation.

He was trapped on Cardassia when the Klingons attacked.

WADDLE: I'm a merchant.

I deal in gemstones, kevas and trillium mostly.

May I?

Help yourself.

You know what Cardassians drink in the morning?

Fish juice-- hot fish juice.

Raktajino.

After six months,

I was hoping the Klingons would invade.

Ah, at least they know how to make coffee, even if they are foul-smelling barbarians.

S-S-Sorry.

I wouldn't take it personally, Worf.

I rather like the way you smell.

Yeah, sort of earthy, peaty aroma.

With a touch of lilac.

SISKO: With the Defiant under cloak, we left Cardassian space

and managed to avoid being detected by the Klingons.

We were halfway home,

and I was just starting to breathe easy.

Trust me.

Next time you see him, just sniff the air and go, "Is that lilac?"

No! Find somebody else.

I have my own ways of torturing Worf.

Don't look at me.

( console beeps )

I'm picking up a massive surge in chroniton radiation around...

What happened?

I don't know, but we've dropped out of warp.

Sensors are coming back on line.

Benjamin, something's very wrong.

According to the navigational computer, we're over 200 light-years from our last position.

O'BRIEN: We're de-cloaking.

Someone's activated the transporter.

Deactivate it and get us back under cloak.

I'm picking up another ship dead ahead.

Can you identify it?

DAX: Not yet, but it's close, very close.

Chief, I need that viewscreen.

I think I've got it.

That's...

The Enterprise.

Be specific, Captain. Which Enterprise?

There have been five.

Six.

This was the first Enterprise, Constitution-class.

His ship.

James T. Kirk.

The one and only.

17 separate temporal violations-- the biggest file on record.

Man was a menace.

What was the date of your arrival?

Stardate 4523.7.

105 years, one month, 12 days ago.

A Friday.

What was the Enterprise doing?

SISKO: She was orbiting one of the old deep space stations-- K-7,

near the Klingon border.

Security reported

that just before we were thrown back in time,

someone stunned the deputy who was guarding the Orb

and broke into the cabin.

It didn't take us long to realize who it was.

His real name is Arne Darvin-- he's a Klingon altered to look human.

His surgeon does nice work.

We're assuming that he came aboard the Defiant for the express purpose of gaining access to the Orb.

Any idea why he brought us back to this point in time?

We have a theory.

This is Darvin as he appeared during that time period.

At this moment he is aboard Space Station K-7 posing as a Federation official.

So you're saying he's a spy.

ODO: The younger Darvin's mission was to derail Federation colonization efforts by poisoning a shipment of grain which was... which is stored aboard the station.

However, 18 hours from now,

James Kirk will expose him, and he will be arrested.

That arrest will end his career.

Klingon Intelligence will turn their back on him, and he will become an outcast.

From what we've been able to piece together, he spent the next hundred years eking out a meager living posing as a human merchant.

Then, in a final indignity, he was trapped in Cardassian space by the Klingon invasion. Ah.

Until he heard rumors about an Orb capable of taking him back in time.

So what is he planning to do?

Contact his younger self and warn himself about Kirk?

He could be planning to kill Kirk.

The bottom line is, we have to find Darvin and stop him before he has a chance to alter history.

Do we know where he beamed to?

No. He wiped the transporter logs when he beamed out.

So he could be on the Enterprise or the station.

We'll have to search both without raising suspicion or altering the timeline ourselves.

The last thing I want is a visit from Temporal Investigations when we get home.

I suppose we ought to find a way to blend in.

( beeps )

Captain.

Well... lieutenant, actually.

I didn't want to push my luck.

O'BRIEN: Looks good on you, sir.

Thank you, ensign. Wait a minute.

Aren't you two wearing the wrong color?

Don't you know anything about this period in time?

I'm a doctor, not an historian.

In the old days,

Operations officers wore red.

Command officers wore gold.

DAX: And women wore less.

I think I'm going to like history.

O'BRIEN: The original Enterprise used an old-style duotronic sensor array.

If we wait for just the right point in the scan cycle, we can de-cloak the Defiant for almost three seconds without being detected.

Is that enough time to transport us aboard?

Barely.

Chief, here are the coordinates.

The captain and I will start on deck four and work our way aft.

You and Julian should start on deck 21...

And work our way forward.

What about the station?

Little of it is habitable.

Most of K-7 consists of storage areas and industrial fabrication facilities.

It shouldn't take long to search.

Security isn't as tight as it is on a starship.

Remember-- try to avoid contact with people of this time period.

We're coming up on a band shift in the scan cycle. Dax.

Ready? Deck 21.

Deck 21.

I said, Deck 21.

Maybe if you said please.

What's wrong with this thing?

Don't ask me.

I don't know anything about this time period.

Maybe it's jammed.

Take that panel off the wall.

Deck 15.

I won't tell anyone if you don't.

They really packed them in on these old ships.

What about over there?

Perfect.

An auxiliary communications juncture.

I'll pretend to do repairs.

You scan for Darvin.

( Sisko whistles )

I used to have one of these.

Hmm. I love classic 23rd-century design.

Black finish... silver highlights.

Dax...

Sorry.

MAN: I don't want any more Spican flame gems.

Thanks to you,

I already have enough Spican flame gems to last me a lifetime.

How sad for you, my friend. You won't find a finer stone anywhere...

What's your pleasure?

Uh, I'll have a raktajino.

You're the second person today who ordered that.

What is it?

Klingon coffee.

The second person?

Who was the first?

An older man-- a human.

Where is he now?

I don't know.

He left about an hour ago.

I think he said he'd be back.

We don't have any Klingon beverages.

Would you like something else?

Um... Tarkalean tea.

Okay.

JONES: You're a difficult man to reach but I have something from the far reaches of the galaxy.

Surely you want--

Not at your price.

Ooh, what is it?

Is it alive?

May I hold it?

( cooing )

UHURA: Oh, it's adorable.

What is it?

Chief, you're supposed to be working.

I'm afraid to touch anything.

It's all cross-circuited and patched together.

I can't make head nor tails of it.

Sounds like one of your repair jobs.

( both chuckle )

Well, there's no sign of Darvin in this section.

I'm going to have to widen the scan radius.

If I can figure out how.

Well, keep the scan field below 20 milliwatts.

Otherwise, you'll set off the internal sensors.

Thank you, Chief. I was listening during the mission briefing.

What are you two doing here?

Scotty told me to do this.

Oh, you were going to... do this?

It's on the duty roster.

Must have been... some mix-up.

Isn't that a medical tricorder?

Yes. Yes, it is.

I'm a doctor.

Why do we need a doctor to repair a power relay?

You don't... obviously.

No. I'm doing a study.

It... has to do with... work-related stress.

Oh.

Why don't you two, um, go on?

Pretend I'm not here.

So where should we start?

Well...

( clears throat ) obviously, the... first thing we should do is to take this, uh... this transtator here... and...

( equipment powering down )

Leave it exactly where it is.

BASHIR: The, uh... job pressure's been getting to him.

Why don't you take over?

All right, Ensign.

I think I've seen enough.

Let's get you back to Sick Bay.

Oh.

Oh, uh, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mention this to anyone.

No problem.

Hope you feel better.

I have completed my search of the Primary Habitat Level...

( cooing )

What is that sound?

Soothing, isn't it?

The bartender called it...

( shrill chattering )

A tribble.

Sit down. You're drawing attention.

( tribble cooing )

Where did you get that... thing?

From a man named Cyrano Jones.

He told me tribbles like everyone, but this one doesn't seem to like you.

The feeling's...!

The feeling's mutual.

They are detestable creatures.

Hmm. Interesting.

It's been my observation that most humanoids love soft, furry animals especially if they make pleasing sounds.

They do nothing but consume food and breed.

If you feed that thing more than the smallest morsel, in a few hours, you'll have ten tribbles, then a hundred, then a thousand.

Calm down.

They were once considered mortal enemies of the Klingon Empire.

This? ( shrill chattering )

A mortal enemy of the Empire?

They were an ecological menace, a plague to be wiped out.

Wiped out?

What are you saying?

Hundreds of warriors were sent to track them down throughout the galaxy.

An armada obliterated the tribble homeworld.

By the end of the 23rd century, they had been eradicated.

Hmm. Another glorious chapter of Klingon history.

Tell me, do they still sing songs of the great tribble hunt?

( chuckles )

( alarm blaring )

( alarm blaring )

What should we do?

Get to battle stations.

Deck Seven.

Let's see if we can find out what's going on.

Sisko to Defiant.

Sisko to Defiant.

KIRA: Defiant here.

Report.

A Klingon D7 battle cruiser just dropped out of warp.

It's approaching the station.

Have they locked weapons?

Not yet.

Kira, can you identify the Klingon vessel?

The IKS Gr'oth.

That's Koloth's ship.

Curzon's old friend?

Yes, and he isn't going to attack.

I remember Koloth telling me he once traded insults with Kirk on a space station near the Federation border.

He always regretted never getting the chance to face him in battle.

The Klingon ship just transported two people to the Station Manager's office, Captain.

That's Koloth.

Maybe we should beam over to the station to help Odo and Worf.

We know Darvin was there a few hours ago.

I think it might be better if Chief O'Brien and Dr. Bashir go.

But if we went, we might run into Koloth.

Exactly.

It's not as if he would recognize me.

I'd love to see him at his prime.

Dax.

Major, beam the chief and the doctor to K-7 and fill them in.

Aye, sir.

It would have been fun.

Too much fun.

SISKO: Dax was right about the Klingons.

They were only interested in shore leave,

and Captain Kirk allowed them

to beam aboard the station in small groups.

When the Enterprise stood down from Red Alert,

we all resumed our search for Darvin.

KIRA: The next band shift in the Enterprise scan cycle will be in three minutes.

We'll be ready, Major. O'Brien out.

We should find a turbolift.

Hello again.

Hello.

Deck Ten.

Your flap's open.

Excuse me?

On your tricorder.

You're draining power.

Oh... thank you.

He's always doing that.

You're a doctor?

Yes.

I just transferred here from the Lexington last week.

Welcome aboard.

I'm coming into Sick Bay tomorrow for my physical.

1500.

Lieutenant Watley.

You realize, of course, she was just using you to get to me?

Watley... that was my great- grandmother's name.

Funny.

And I think she was in Starfleet.

Well, it's a common enough name.

But what if that was her?

Do you realize the odds?

No one ever met my great-grandfather.

This could be a predestination paradox.

Come on, Chief. Surely you took elementary temporal mechanics at the Academy.

I could be destined to fall in love with that woman and become my own great-grandfather.

You're being ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

If I don't meet with her tomorrow, I may never be born!

KIRA: Chief, are you ready for transport?

Are we ever.

Stand by.

You saw the way she looked at me.

You can't just dismiss this.

I can try.

All right.

Fine, but I can't wait to get back to Deep Space 9 and see your face when you find out that I never existed.

( chuckling )

SISKO: Dax and I resumed our search for Darvin.

Benjamin, look.

CHEKOV: Bridge to Captain Kirk.

Kirk here. Mr. Baris is waiting on Channel E to speak to you, sir.

Keep working. We're a maintenance crew just doing our job.

Mr. Baris is coming on.

Yes, Mr. Baris, what can I do for you?

BARIS: Kirk, this station is swarming with Klingons.

I was not aware, Mr. Baris, that 12 Klingons constitutes a swarm.

Captain Kirk, I consider your security measures a disgrace.

In my opinion, you have taken this entire...

I had no idea.

What?

He's so much more handsome in person.

Those eyes.

Kirk had quite the reputation as a ladies' man.

Not him-- Spock.

BARIS: ...free and complete access to this station for that man who just walked out of here--

Let's go.

Mr. Baris, I have guards around the grain.

I have guards around the Klingons.

I can't believe you don't at least want to meet Captain Kirk.

That's the last thing on my mind.

Oh, come on, Benjamin, are you telling me you're not the tiniest bit interested in meeting one of the most famous men in Starfleet history?

We have a job to do.

But it's... it's James Kirk.

Look, of course, I want to meet him.

I'd like to shake his hand, ask him about... fighting the Gorn on Cestus III.

But that's not why we're here, old man.

You're right.

I guess the difference between you and me is

I remember this time.

I lived in this time, and it's... it's hard to not want to be a part of it again.

Clearly, we've been going about this search business all wrong, Chief.

You're right. Why bother searching

30 decks when you can just plunk yourself down at the bar here and wait for Darvin to come to you?

We have reason to believe that he'll return to this area.

Ah, yes, the raktajino.

A vital clue that others might have missed.

How fortunate it is that it has kept you stuck at this bar for the past three hours having drinks while we've been crawling through conduits.

My God, that's him.

Who?

Kirk.

Where?

The one on the left in the gold, just sitting down.

That's Kirk?

It would be an honor to meet him.

Let's buy him a drink.

Gentlemen... no one is buying anyone a drink.

He's right.

We can't risk altering the timeline.

What'll it be, boys? And don't ask for raktajino.

If I have to say we don't carry that one more...

Who ordered a raktajino?

The Klingons.

Klingons?

Over there.

And over there.

Those are Klingons?

All right, you boys have had enough.

Mr. Worf?

They are Klingons, and it is a long story.

What happened?

Some kind of genetic engineering?

A viral mutation?

We do not discuss it with outsiders.

( chair scraping )

Take it easy, lad.

Everybody's entitled to an opinion.

That's right, and if I think that Kirk is a Denebian slime devil, well, that's my opinion, too.

Don't do it, mister, and that's an order.

But you heard what he called the Captain.

Look at the way Kirk is ignoring that Klingon.

He's letting his security officer handle it.

Chief, are you sure that's Kirk?

Absolutely.

Why is he wearing lieutenant's stripes?

KLINGON: ...saggy, old rust...

I think we've got bigger problems than a case of mistaken identity.

...garbage scow.

Half the Quadrant knows it.

That's why they're learning to speak Klingonese.

( Klingon laughing )

Mr. Scott.

Laddie... don't you think you should... rephrase that?

You're right.

I should.

I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage.

I meant to say that it should be hauled away as garbage.

( Klingon laughing )

What are you doing?

( yells )

( growling )

( grunts )

( grunting )

It's Darvin!

Your men could've avoided that fight, Captain.

Regulation 157, Section Three, Paragraph 18:

"Starfleet officers shall take all necessary precautions

"to minimize any participation in historical events."

All right.

It was a mistake.

But there were no lasting repercussions.

How do you know that?

For all we know, we could be living in an alternate timeline right now.

If my people had caused any changes in the timeline, we would've been the first to notice when we got back.

Why do they all have to say that?

So... your men were arrested...

SISKO: That's right, but instead of being taken to the brig,

they were brought in for questioning.

I want to know who started it.

I'm waiting.

Who started the fight?

I don't know, sir.

All right.

Chekov... I know you.

You started it, didn't you?

No, sir. I didn't.

Well, who did?

I don't know, sir.

"I don't know, sir."

I want to know who threw the first punch.

All right, you're all confined to quarters until I find out who started it.

Dismissed.

That was close.

Me-- of all the people in the lineup, he asks me who threw the first punch.

And you lied to him.

I lied to Captain Kirk.

I wish Keiko could've been here to see it.

( loud squeaking )

( cooing )

I'm sorry about that, little fellow.

Who left you out here all alone?

He's not alone.

( tribbles cooing )

Welcome back, Mr. Darvin.

The pleasure is all mine.

( grunts )

Worf... hold on.

I hope you realize you'll be facing some very serious charges when we get back.

You wouldn't dare put one of the greatest heroes of the Klingon Empire into the brig.

You are no hero to the Empire.

I will be.

I've been thinking about my statue in the Hall of Warriors.

I want it to capture my essence.

Our statues can be so... generic sometimes, don't you think?

I take it whatever your plan is, you've already set it in motion.

I see myself standing with Kirk's head in one hand... and a tribble in the other.

What have you done?

Did you hire someone to kill him?

Did you sabotage the Enterprise?

Nothing so mundane.

Let's just say that Kirk's death will have a certain poetic justice to it.

( laughing )

He put a bomb in a tribble?

ODO: It's his revenge.

Originally, Kirk saw how a tribble reacted to Darvin and realized that he was a Klingon.

He wouldn't say where this tribble was, but he did say that it was set to go off within the hour.

It could be anywhere.

Benjamin, I think we should risk going to the Bridge.

If we can use the internal sensors, we can scan the entire ship for explosives in a matter of seconds.

Dax and I will take care of the Enterprise.

The rest of you beam over to K-7 and start searching there.

Understood.

But I think Mr. Worf should remain here.

It seems he's... allergic to tribbles. All right.

O'BRIEN: Captain,

I'm not sure we can get to K-7's internal sensors.

Then you will have to manually scan every tribble on the station.

There must be thousands of them by now.

Hundreds of thousands.

1,771,561.

That's starting with one tribble with an average litter of ten every 12 hours.

After three days--

Thank you.

You have your orders, people. Sisko out.

( squeaking )

( cooing )

Dr. McCoy, would you mind coming up to the bridge?

I rerouted the sensor interface.

It worked.

I'm scanning the bridge.

Nothing up here.

That's a relief.

When Kirk sat on that tribble,

I half expected it to go off.

Nothing on the first six decks.

McCOY: Did you want to see me, Jim?

Well, don't look at me. It's the tribbles who are breeding.

I know him.

That must be McCoy, the ship's doctor.

McCoy...

McCoy...

Well, the nearest thing I can figure out is that they're born pregnant... which seems to be quite a time saver.

Leonard McCoy.

I met him when he was a student at Ole Miss.

Who met him-- Curzon?

No.

My host at the time was Emony.

She was on Earth judging a gymnastics competition.

I had a feeling he'd become a doctor.

He had the hands of a surgeon.

I've scanned every deck.

The bomb's not aboard the ship.

Then it must be somewhere on K-7.

( cooing )

( com link beeps ) Odo here.

The bomb's not on the Enterprise; it must be over there.

We've only been able to get through two decks.

We're running out of time. I can send more teams from the Defiant.

It's not a question of manpower.

It's a question of multiplication.

The tribbles are breeding so fast we can't keep up with them.

Benjamin, maybe we could narrow things down a little.

Presumably, Darvin put the bomb somewhere he knows Kirk is going to be in the next half an hour, so if we stick close to Kirk...

He might lead us right to it.

It's worth a try, but there's no reason for us to stop searching over here.

Keep at it for now, Constable.

Deck Five.

This is my chicken sandwich and coffee.

I want these things off the ship.

I don't care if it takes every man we've got. I want them off the ship.

Aye, they're into the machinery, all right, and they're probably in all the other food processors, too.

How?

Probably through one of the air vents.

Captain, there are vents of that type on the space station.

KIRK: And in the storage compartments.

Storage compartments.

Storage compartments.

KIRK: ...meet us near the storage compartments.

We're beaming down.

Most of these are dead.

The grain's poisoned.

I'm picking up a faint tricobalt signature.

The bomb's under here somewhere.

( beeping ) What's that?

It's not working, sir. It seems to be stuck.

Here, let me try.

Someone's trying to open the bay door.

( beeping )

( beeping )

( beeping )

Benjamin, it's right here in front of us.

( sighs )

They seem to be gorged.

Gorged?! On my grain?!

Kirk, I am going to hold you responsible!

Must be thousands of them.

Hundreds of thousands.

1,771,561.

That's assuming one tribble multiplying with an average litter of ten producing a new generation every 12 hours over a period of three days.

( tricorder beeps )

I found it.

Sisko to Defiant.

Go ahead, Captain.

I found the bomb.

Lock on to my tricorder signal and beam it into space.

Acknowledged.

Kira to Sisko.

It worked.

KIRK: And as Captain, I want two things done.

First, find Cyrano Jones... and second... close that door.

SISKO: After the bomb was detonated,

history continued uninterrupted.

And thanks to the tribbles,

Kirk was able to uncover the truth about Darvin.

( shrill chattering )

They don't like you, Mr. Darvin.

I wonder why? Bones?

Jim, this man is a Klingon.

SISKO: By the time we returned to the Defiant,

Major Kira had discovered how to use the Orb

to bring us back to our own time.

And that's when you returned to the present?

Well... not exactly.

Before we left,

I realized there was one last thing I had to do--

something I'd been thinking about

ever since I saw that ship on the viewscreen.

Excuse me, Captain.

Here's tomorrow's duty roster for your approval.

Lieutenant, uh... Lieutenant...

Benjamin Sisko, sir.

I've been on temporary assignment here.

Before I leave, I just want to say... it's been an honor serving with you, sir.

All right, lieutenant, carry on.

Thank you, sir.

Now... if you want to put a letter of reprimand in my file for that, then go ahead.

We'll have to review the case before making any recommendations.

However, I don't think there was any harm done.

Probably would have done the same thing myself.

You'll be receiving our report in about a month.

But based on what you've told us,

I don't think you have anything to worry about.

I'm glad to hear it.

Good-bye, Captain. Good-bye.

Docking Port Seven.

It went well?

Good.

The Constable wants to see us on the Promenade.

Did you tell them?

They didn't ask.

I'm open to suggestions, people.

We could build another station.

( tribbles cooing )