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Doctor Bashir, I Presume?

Okay, that's 12 spins, and not a single dabo so far.

The pot is growing and someone's going to be a big winner...

Today's the day, Brother.

I'm really going to do it this time.

You've been saying that for weeks.

I've been waiting for the right moment, and this is it. Now?

It's perfect.

She's about to go on a break, and when she does, she'll come over here and say hi to me, like she always does, and that's when I'll do it.

Okay, let's hear it.

I... uh...

Leeta, would you like... maybe... to... one night... soon... to... maybe...?

Rom.

You're a regular poet.

I can do better.

Prove it.

Hi, Rom.

Hello, Leeta.

Bye.

( sighing )

I must be doing something wrong.

I don't know, Leeta.

Maybe he's just not interested in you.

Well, I know he likes me.

Likes you, yes, but he's an engineer.

A problem solver.

He needs a woman with a body and brains.

I have brains.

Sure you do, honey.

That's why I hired you.

Now, eat up, and then take those brains back to the dabo wheel, where the customers can get a good, long look at them.

( dartboard beeps )

BASHIR: Triple 20!

Oh, he's back in the zone today.

I never really left it.

Just been giving you a chance to get even.

Thank you, but I don't need your charity.

Another game?

Maybe one.

I promised Molly

I'd do some coloring with her this afternoon.

With all this attention focused on the baby,

I don't want her to start feeling that we've forgotten about her.

A father's work is never done. You said it.

Still, it's worth it.

You should give it a try sometime.

Me? No.

Why not?

I bet you'd make a great father.

I'm not exactly a family type.

MAN: Dr. Bashir, I presume?

That's me.

I'm Louis Zimmerman director of holographic imaging and programming at the Jupiter Research Station, and I'm here to make you... immortal.

You're familiar, of course, with the Emergency Medical Holographic program.

I've heard of it.

It's a hologram designed to provide assistance during emergencies in Sick Bay.

It does much more than provide assistance.

A holographic doctor can literally replace a starship's medical officer during an emergency.

I'm surprised you don't have one on the station.

The station facilities are Cardassian in origin.

Most of our equipment is incompatible with Federation technology.

How unfortunate for you.

In any case, the original EMH program was designed for short-term use only but now Starfleet has requested a program designed to operate as a full-time doctor.

Full time?

You're not talking about replacing real doctors?

No, no, of course not.

Why is everyone so worried about holograms taking over the universe?

There are many situations where a holo-doctor could be more beneficial than a humanoid.

Research outposts, subspace communication stations, long-range exploratory vessels.

In short, anywhere that life support, or living space is at a premium and where the primary mission does not require the doctor to leave Sick Bay. I see.

And they want to model this new EMH program after Dr. Bashir.

Technically, it is an LMH-- long-term medical holographic program.

And, yes, Starfleet Medical has selected Dr. Bashir to provide the template.

Who was the template for the EMH?

Me. It was my program after all.

It only seemed logical to use myself as a model.

Of course.

This must be quite an honor.

Yes, it... is quite a feather in my cap, sir.

It is nothing less than a shot at immortality.

The original EMH program will probably still be in use for decades to come.

The LMH will undoubtedly last far longer than that.

That is, if I can work out certain technical problems.

Now, I'll need to remain here for at least three weeks.

I'll need quarters, access to your main computer, a technician to install my equipment, a high-speed data link with my lab--

Doctor, my First Officer, Major Kira will see to all your needs.

Congratulations, Doctor.

I know I speak for everyone on the station when I say we're really very proud of you.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Let's go.

BASHIR: This is a long questionnaire.

ZIMMERMAN: I pride myself on my attention to detail.

Let's see... "compare and contrast

"your eating habits at age five

"with those of ten,

15, 20 and 25."

ZIMMERMAN: It will be necessary for the holo-doctor to interact naturally with patients for weeks, possibly even months.

The doctor will be expected to share amusing anecdotes, extend sympathy, swap dirty jokes, and even have culinary opinions formed by experience.

You mean this program is going to include all his personal likes and dislikes?

That is why we bother to choose a human template in the first place.

O'BRIEN: Wow. Think of it, Julian.

If this thing works, you'll be able to irritate hundreds of people you've never even met.

( laughs )

If you two could suspend your oh-so-amusing banter for the moment,

I'd like to begin the optical parameter scans.

What do you want me to do?

Just stand there and look like a doctor.

If you can.

Dabo!

We don't have anything like this on Jupiter Station.

Or like her.

She's beautiful, isn't she?

Who is she?

Her name's Leeta.

My ex-girlfriend.

Who broke it off?

She did.

Oh. I like her already.

I think I'll have to add her name to my list of interviews.

Interviews?

I'll be conducting in-depth interviews with your friends, colleagues, family members, in order to build a more rounded psychological profile for the LMH.

I see.

Well, regarding my family members, um... would you refrain from--

ODO: Excuse me for interrupting, Doctor.

Doctor.

The Antidean transport wishes to leave the station a day early.

Their cargo is still under quarantine.

If you could issue a health certificate...

Now?

It would expedite matters.

All right. Um...

I'll meet you in Cargo Bay 3 in ten minutes.

Thank you, Doctor.

Doctor.

Well, duty calls.

I wonder if you could do me a favor and consider not interviewing my parents?

Why?

Well, to be blunt, um... we're not close, and we haven't been for many years, and I would consider it a personal favor if you would sort of leave my parents out of it.

I see.

Well, I certainly understand.

Well, thank you.

Um... I-I'll see you tomorrow.

Hmm.

Note: Contact subject's parents immediately.

ZIMMERMAN: Computer, activate LMH Test Program 1.

Does it meet with your... approval?

Yeah, it looks all right.

Except for the eyes-- they seem a little dead.

They don't have that certain sparkle... the zest for life that greets me in the mirror every morning.

( sighs ) This is a test run.

I can assure you that the final product will be...

"zesty."

Does it talk? Not yet.

First, I have to load the LMH with the basic database and software configurations of the original program.

Computer. Activate the EMH.

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

This is a level-3 diagnostic.

I understand.

Diagnostics look good.

Beginning data transferal.

Data transferal?

Am I being replaced?

You're being supplemented by a new long-term program.

By him?

ZIMMERMAN: There. Transfer's complete.

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Well, that's original.

He doesn't even look old enough to be a doctor.

If you'd like my advice, you should delete this program.

Now that I'm here, why would you need an archaic piece of software like him?

Archaic?

We can discuss this at another time.

Listen--

He doesn't sound much like me.

I'm sorry.

Too zesty for you?

Actually, he sounds more like you.

As I said, I've loaded the LMH with the basic EMH software package.

We'll have to build a new set of algorithms based on your scintillating personality.

I hope you're more interesting than you seem.

I'd hate to be boring.

There may be no preventing that.

But we'll see what his friends have to say.

ZIMMERMAN: What were your initial impressions of Dr. Bashir?

Good and bad.

Young, eager, ambitious.

He was fresh out of medical school.

Looking forward to his first taste of "frontier medicine."

Sometimes, he let that natural impulse override his sense of decorum.

You mean he was... difficult.

No, but sometimes he could... well, give you way too much information.

Could you elaborate on that?

Sometimes, he just... didn't know when to shut up.

Are you implying he harassed you with unwanted advances?

No, but he was very persistent.

I see.

Could you be more specific?

You're not being very helpful.

I do not like doctors.

Any doctors.

You can rest assured that I will keep anything you say in the strictest confidence.

You're sure about that?

I wouldn't want this to get back to Julian.

You have my word.

Well, the truth is, he's... an extraordinary person.

A real sense of honor and integrity... great sense of humor... warm, caring...

You're sure he's not going to read this?

Positive.

So, is that all?

Uh... there is one other thing.

Would you have dinner with me this evening?

WOMAN: Oh, well, that I'm not going to tell you--

MAN: Well, I think you should--

WOMAN 2: Times like this, I think I'm the happiest person--

MAN 2: Stroll along the promenade--

LEETA: You want a real game, try dom-jot.

If I ran this place, we'd have three dom-jot tables and two prayko alleys.

And I'd make sure the customers had a lot more fun.

Quark is a lot of things, but he's not fun.

I'm fun.

I bet you are.

You're a fascinating woman, Leeta.

For a dabo girl.

ZIMMERMAN: Not at all.

You're charming, intelligent, witty... and extraordinarily beautiful.

Thank you.

ROM: Excuse me!

I need to talk to you.

It's very important.

All right.

Will you excuse me?

Of course.

What is it, Rom?

I want to ask you if you...

I want to...

I... oh...

I wanted to ask if... tomorrow morning would be a good time for me to fix your replicator.

Oh.

Sure.

That would be fine.

Okay.

Tomorrow morning, then.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Thanks.

I'm a little concerned about the amount of argonite that's seeping into the station's air supply.

17 parts per million.

That's well within safety margins.

Yes, but it's on the rise, and I'd like to--

I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but there are a couple of visitors here looking for Julian and I thought he might want to see them right away.

Well, send them in.

Oh... my God.

Hello, Jules.

Uh, Captain... allow me to introduce Amsha and...

Richard Bashir, my parents.

I'm Captain Benjamin Sisko.

Welcome to Deep Space 9.

Thank you, Captain.

It's a pleasure to finally see where Jules works.

We wanted to come before, but my schedule's been so busy up until now.

I'm sure you know what it's like.

SISKO: All too well, I'm afraid.

What is it you do, Mr. Bashir?

Oh... I've done many things.

At the moment, I'm involved in landscape architecture, designing public spaces, parks mostly.

I love the idea of working on projects that thousands of people will enjoy long after I'm gone.

They're my... my legacy, my gift to succeeding generations.

Aside from Jules here, of course.

You must be very proud of your son.

Oh, yes.

He's a very... gifted young man.

I hope you're putting all his talents to good use, Captain.

We try.

Well, sometimes you have to push him a little.

It took quite a while to talk him into taking up medicine.

But he did.

So you're the reason he went to medical school.

That's right. He wanted to become--

Perhaps we should save that until another time, Richard.

I'm sure the Captain is a very busy man.

Oh... of course.

Maybe after our interviews are over.

Interviews?

Yes, with a Dr. um... Zimmerman.

Didn't he tell you?

No, he didn't.

He said it was urgent.

That the two of you were working together on a very important project, and that we had to come here right away.

Yes. Well, why don't I see if I can find you some accommodations for this evening.

Yeah. It was a pleasure to meet you both.

I hope we get a chance to see you again.

I can't wait to hear some stories about Julian as a little boy.

Oh, lord, there are so many.

You know, from the time he was this high, we knew he was destined for greatness.

The captain, Father, is a very busy man.

We'll talk later.

( chuckling )

Oh, we're just working out a few bugs.

Chief, if you'll excuse us,

I'd like a moment or two alone with Dr. Zimmerman.

Of course.

You brought my parents to this station against my explicit wishes that you keep them out of this project.

I'm sorry it upsets you, but their input is--

You had no right to bring them here.

I did not bring them here.

I simply issued an invitation.

You said it was urgent.

It is urgent-- to me.

Like it or not, they're an important part of your background and I need to interview them.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a delivery to make.

( door chimes )

Have I caught you at a bad time?

It's never a bad time for flowers.

Come on in.

Could you find a place for those while I change?

Of course.

By the way, if you're trying to impress me... you've succeeded.

I spoke to some of my colleagues at the Jupiter Station this morning.

It seems that the manager of our station café has decided to quit. Really?

They're still looking for a new manager.

Someone with experience in both food service and entertainment.

Someone like you.

Me?

Y-yes. I've already taken the liberty of speaking to our station's commanding officer about you, and she's amenable to the idea.

The café is yours if you want it.

My own café?

Oh.

Sorry.

Not at all.

It's not very big.

Less than half the size of Quark's. Really?

But there's room enough for a couple of dom-jot tables.

But I've never run a restaurant or any kind of business.

I barely even know how to tend bar.

That puts you one step ahead of our last bartender.

But where would I stay?

I don't even know anybody there.

You know me... and I was hoping you would consider staying with me.

But Louis...

I just met you.

I mean, I like you--

You see? You're warming up to me already.

Given time, you might begin to feel more.

Just as I do.

Besides, you said you liked cerebral men, and, at the risk of sounding immodest,

I have a towering intellect.

Come with me, Leeta. Please.

I promise you won't regret it.

I know I won't.

I need to think about that.

Take all the time you need.

Captain Sisko seems like a very nice man, Jules.

Not like the Captain of the transport that brought us here.

I've never met a ruder, more abrasive man in my life.

I tell you, when I used to run shuttles,

I never would've tolerated that kind of behavior towards my passengers.

Dad, you're talking to me now.

You were a third-class steward for all of six months.

That's right... and I was required to have daily contact with the passengers.

And you can bet that if I even looked at them the wrong way,

I would've been discharged on the spot.

I thought you were.

No.

I resigned.

Are you still doing research, Jules?

Yes. Right now, I'm working on two studies of prion replication in ganglionic cell clusters.

You could've done research back on Earth.

I told you that five years ago.

But you insisted on taking this position because you wanted to work in, um... frontier medicine.

On DS9, I can do both.

So, you're doing

"landscape architecture" now.

It's all he can talk about.

You should see the stacks of drawings in our house.

It's like living in a drafting studio.

Some, uh, very important people have expressed interest in my park designs.

I have some very good prospects on the horizon.

Oh, you always have very good prospects and they were always just over that horizon.

Um... maybe you should tell us about the interviews we're doing tomorrow, Jules.

What kind of questions will they ask?

Well, Dr. Zimmerman, as I understand it, is trying to compile a complete psychological profile of me.

He's going to be asking you all sorts of questions.

Try to keep your answers as brief and to the point as you can.

You don't want to give him any openings to probe into any... awkward areas.

I'm sure we can handle it.

Try not to take this too lightly.

He's going to be asking detailed questions about my childhood, and if you're not careful-- You don't trust us?

He didn't say that, Richard.

No, but that's what he meant, isn't it?

You think we're going to slip up, say the wrong thing, get us all in trouble?

Look, I've got a lot at stake here.

My whole career could be destroyed if Dr. Zimmerman gets wind of our little secret.

You've got a lot at stake?

Well, what about us?

We could go to prison, Jules.

Have you ever thought about that?

Of course I've thought about that!

That's why I want you to take this seriously!

Ah, so now we're not taking it seriously.

We're not as bright as he is.

We don't have your gifted intellect so we can't see the perfectly obvious.

This is exactly why I haven't been home in three years.

Jules, please-- No, let him go.

He can barely stand to be in the same room with us!

( door closes )

( sighs )

I haven't made up my mind, yet.

I mean, this could be a big opportunity, but that's no reason to rush into anything.

What do you think I should do?

I...

I...

I don't know.

( sighing )

If I had a reason to stay, I'd stay.

Do I have a reason to stay?

I...

I don't know.

Well, I... guess I better take the job.

Great.

Is that all you can say?

I...

I...

I-- You don't know.

Thanks, Rom.

You've been a big help.

You're welcome.

Is there something I can do for you?

Your father has something he wants to say.

Richard?

( clearing throat )

It's a... stressful time for all of us, and maybe I said some things I... shouldn't have.

AMSHA: What he's trying to say is we would never do anything to jeopardize your career.

And just so there's no misunderstanding,

I give you my word that, at no time in our interview with Dr. Zimmerman will we ever mention, or even hint at the fact that you were genetically enhanced as a child.

AMSHA: Jules, you can trust us.

Your father and I kept the secret of your DNA resequencing for almost 25 years and we're not going to let it out now.

RICHARD: But I would just add that, despite what the authorities would like us to believe, genetic engineering is nothing to be ashamed of.

You're not any less human than anyone else.

In fact, you're a little more.

We didn't come here to start another fight.

Let's just try to get through this.

All right?

All right.

Who are those people?

( sighing )

I can't believe you set them up like that!

We didn't set them up.

They just happened to walk in while the program was running.

Zimmerman thought it would be a good idea to test the program's ability to cope with an unexpected situation.

And you let them go on?

You let them stand there and make fools of themselves while the two of you sat in the back room and laughed?!

Look, I'm sorry about this.

I wish it had never happened.

But it has, and now we've got a problem.

I don't want to talk about it.

Julian, Zimmerman is going to file a report saying that Dr. Bashir is unsuitable for computer modeling because of his suspected genetically enhanced background.

Do you know what's going to happen when that report gets back to Starfleet Medical?

There's going to be a formal investigation.

Which will lead to my eventual dismissal from the service.

Then it's true?

You're...

The word you're looking for is "unnatural," meaning "not from nature."

"Freak" or "monster" would also be acceptable.

I was six.

Small for my age, a bit awkward, physically not very bright.

In the first grade when the other children were learning how to read and write and use the computer,

I was still trying to tell a dog from a cat and a tree from a house.

I didn't really understand what was happening.

I knew that I wasn't doing as well as my classmates.

There were so many concepts that they took for granted that... I couldn't begin to master, and I didn't know why.

All I knew... was that I was a great disappointment to my parents.

I don't remember when they made the decision, but just before my seventh birthday... we left Earth for Adigeon Prime.

At first, I remember being really excited at seeing all the aliens in the hospital, and then they gave me a room and... began the treatments, and my entire world began to change.

What were the treatments?

Some kind of DNA recoding?

( sighing )

The technical term is "accelerated critical neural pathway formation."

Over the course of the next two months, my genetic structure was manipulated to accelerate the growth of neuronal networks in my cerebral cortex and a whole new Julian Bashir was born.

In what way did they... change you?

Well, my mental abilities were top priority, of course.

My IQ jumped five points a day for over two weeks.

Followed by improvements in my hand/eye coordination, stamina, vision, reflexes, weight, height.

In the end, everything but my name was altered in some way.

When we returned to Earth, we even moved to a different city.

I was enrolled in a new school using falsified records my parents obtained somewhere.

Instead of being the slowest learner,

I was the star pupil.

And no one ever suspected?

Oh, there's no stigma attached to success, Chief.

After the treatments, I never looked back, but the truth is, I'm a fraud.

You're not a fraud.

I don't care how many enhancements your parents had done.

Genetic recoding can't give you ambition or a personality or compassion or any of the things that make a person truly human.

Well, Starfleet Medical won't see it that way.

DNA resequencing for any reason other than repairing serious birth defects is illegal.

Any genetically enhanced human being is barred from serving in Starfleet or practicing medicine.

I don't think there's been a case dealing with any of this in a hundred years.

You can't be sure how they'll react.

Oh, I am sure.

Once the truth comes out,

I'll be cashiered from the service.

It's that simple.

There must be something we can do. We can't just give up.

There is something I can do.

Resign before Dr. Zimmerman files his report.

Oh, Julian--

It's over, Miles.

I always knew this could happen.

Now it has.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'd like to be alone.

( sighs )

I should have told her how I felt.

Thank the Nagus that you didn't.

Remember what happened with Nog's mother?

Yeah... don't want to think about her, do you?

Let me refresh your memory.

You signed a standard five-year marriage contract with Prinadora's father because you wanted to have a child-- a simple everyday business deal.

But then, you fell in love with your wife, and wanted to extend the contract.

And you were so in love that you never bothered to read the extension before signing it.

So, in the end, her father swindled you out of all of your money.

Prinadora left you for a richer man.

And you got stuck with Nog.

Hooray for romance.

Leeta is not Prinadora.

She's a female, Rom, and the one constant in the universe is females are trouble.

Look, if you're lonely...

I've got a new holosuite program.

"Vulcan Love Slave: Part Two--

The Revenge."

Give it a try.

After a couple hours... you'll forget all about Leeta.

We're not going to just take this lying down, that's for sure. I'll arrange for legal counsel.

We're going to fight this all the way to the Federation Supreme Court.

We can't fight this.

You better change that attitude right now if you want to hang on to your career.

Jules, listen to your father.

He's trying to help you.

Neither of you is listening to me.

I don't want to drag this through the courts.

We're a little beyond worrying about your wants, Jules.

We have a serious problem here and we have to stop the whining and concentrate on coming up with a new plan.

A new plan.

Yes!

Let's come up with a new plan!

That's the way we do things in this family, isn't it?

We don't face our problems. We come up with new plans.

Don't like your job? Well, move along to the next one.

Don't like the law? Well, find a way to get around it.

But whatever you do, do not accept responsibility.

All those gifts... all those accomplishments... and you still want to behave like a spoiled child.

Well, you better grow up right now or you're going to lose everything.

You mean, you're going to lose everything.

You're going to lose your only real accomplishment in this life--

me.

You said before, I'm your legacy, your proud gift to the world.

Well, Father, your gift is about to be revealed... as a fraud.

Just like you.

I'm still your father, Jules, and I will not have you talk to me like that.

No.

You used to be my father.

Now... you're my architect.

The man who designed a better son to replace the defective one he was given.

Well, your design... has a built-in flaw.

It's illegal.

You're so smart.

You know so much you can sit there and judge us, but you're still not smart enough to see that we saved you from a life of remedial education and underachievement!

You don't know that.

You didn't give me a chance.

You were falling behind.

I was six years old.

You decided I was a failure in the first grade.

You don't understand, Jules.

You never did.

No, you don't understand!

I stopped calling myself Jules when I was 15, and I'd found out what you'd done to me.

I'm Julian! What difference does that make?!

It makes every difference!

Because I'm different!

Can't you see?!

Jules Bashir died in that hospital because you couldn't live with the shame of having a son who didn't measure up!

That's not true.

We were never ashamed of you-- never.

I'm sorry, Mother, but the truth is--

You don't know.

You've never had a child.

You don't know what it's like to watch your son... to watch him fall a little further behind every day.

You know he's trying, but something's holding him back.

You don't know what it's like to stay up every night worrying that maybe it's your fault.

Maybe you did something wrong during the pregnancy, or maybe you weren't careful enough, or maybe there's something wrong with you.

Maybe you passed on a genetic defect without even knowing it.

Amsha...

No, this is important.

You can condemn us for what we did.

You can say it's illegal or immoral or whatever you want to say... but you have to understand that we didn't do it because we were ashamed... but because you were our son, and we loved you.

What do you want us to do?

Nothing.

I'm going to visit Captain Sisko in the morning and explain the situation to him, and tender my Starfleet resignation.

Are you certain this is what you want?

Yes.

I just... want to leave the station quietly.

( door opens, closes )

Come in, Doctor.

We were just talking about you.

Admiral, allow me to introduce

Dr. Julian Bashir.

Doctor, this is

Rear Admiral Bennett, Judge Advocate General.

Admiral.

Doctor.

May I ask what's going on?

Your parents came to see me this morning.

They explained the situation about your genetic background.

I contacted Admiral Bennett a short time ago.

BENNETT: We've just reached an agreement which will allow you to retain both your commission and your medical practice.

I'm going to prison.

What?! Two years.

It's a minimum security penal colony in New Zealand.

You can't do this.

BENNETT: It was your father's suggestion, Doctor.

He pleads guilty to illegal genetic engineering and in exchange, you stay in the service.

Well, I want no part of it.

I'm not going to stand here while my father-- Jules...

Julian. Listen to me.

This is my decision.

I'm the one who took you to Adigeon Prime.

I'm the one who should, uh... take responsibility for it.

Let him do this, Julian.

Two years?

Isn't that a bit harsh? BENNETT: I don't think so.

200 years ago, we tried to improve the species through DNA resequencing.

And what did we get for our trouble?

The Eugenics Wars.

For every Julian Bashir that can be created, there's a Khan Singh waiting in the wings-- a superhuman-- whose ambition and thirst for power have been enhanced along with his intellect.

The law against genetic engineering provides a firewall against such men, and it's my job to keep that firewall intact.

I've made my offer.

Do you accept?

Yes.

Then report to my office at Starfleet Headquarters once you arrive on Earth.

( whispers ): Take your time.

Good-bye, Julian.

Good-bye, Mother.

Well... I guess I'll see you in a couple of years.

Oh, I'm sure they have, uh... visiting hours at your facility.

Maybe I could--

That would be most welcome.

Father.

Thank you.

Here, just think--

I may usher in a new renaissance in landscape architecture.

I'll certainly have time to work on my designs.

( distant wailing yell )

Do you hear something?

What is that?

It's getting closer.

ROM ( yelling ): Wait!

Wait.

We heard you the first time.

Leeta... don't go.

Why not?

Because...

I love you.

And I want you to stay.

I love you, too, Rom.

Oh.

Doctor...

I'm... sorry.

No. Don't be.

True love should always win.

I'm... happy for you.

Really.

You're a sweet, wonderful and brilliant man.

There's someone out there for you, Doctor.

I know it.

I don't think so.

Perhaps I'm better suited to a life of solitary research.

And dedication to my chosen field of study.

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Excuse me, are you familiar with the ancient text known as the Kama Sutra?

You remind me of an etching...

ALL: Dabo!

( cheering )

Oh, not my day.

Not your week.

You know what, Chief?

I never got a chance to thank you for what you said-- Ah. None of that.

Especially not in the middle of a game.

Ooh. Yes!

Looks like it's your game again.

What's that? Five in a row?

At least.

Wait a minute.

You haven't been letting me win, have you?

What makes you think that?

You said your hand/eye coordination had been genetically enhanced.

Well, maybe I have been letting you win... a little bit.

I don't believe it.

I don't need you to patronize me.

I can... play at your level.

I never said you couldn't.

Well, play then.

Really play.

( dartboard beeping )

All right.

From now on... you play from over here.

I play from up here.

And if that doesn't work... we'll try a blindfold.