Home > Star Trek: Enterprise

Acquisition

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

[CONVERSATION IN FERENGI]

♪ IT'S BEEN A LONG ROAD ♪

♪ GETTING FROM THERE TO HERE ♪

♪ IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME ♪

♪ BUT MY TIME IS FINALLY NEAR ♪

♪ AND I WILL SEE MY DREAM COME ALIVE AT LAST ♪

♪ I WILL TOUCH THE SKY ♪

♪ AND THEY'RE NOT GONNA HOLD ME DOWN NO MORE ♪

♪ NO, THEY'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'VE GOT FAITH ♪

♪ OF THE HEART ♪

♪ I'M GOING WHERE MY HEART WILL TAKE ME ♪

♪ I'VE GOT FAITH TO BELIEVE ♪

♪ I CAN DO ANYTHING ♪

♪ I'VE GOT STRENGTH OF THE SOUL ♪

♪ AND NO ONE'S GONNA BEND OR BREAK ME ♪

♪ I CAN REACH ANY STAR ♪

♪ I'VE GOT FAITH ♪

♪ I'VE GOT, I'VE GOT ♪

♪ I'VE GOT FAITH ♪

♪ FAITH OF THE HEART ♪

[CONVERSATIONS IN FERENGI]

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

TUCKER: DOC, ISN'T MY TIME UP YET?

YOU SAID 20 MINUTES.

IT'S BEEN AT LEAST AN HOUR.

GETTING A LITTLE WELL DONE IN HERE.

DOCTOR?

HELLO?

[SIGHS]

[SNIFFS]

[CONVERSATION IN FERENGI]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[CREATURE GROWLING] -AAH!

[SPEAKING FERENGI]

[GRUNTING]

[SNIFFS]

BLECCH!

[SNIFFS]

OOH.

[SNIFFS]

[SIGHS]

[CONVERSATION IN FERENGI]

[CONVERSATION IN FERENGI]

ARCHER: WHO ARE YOU?

[ALIEN SPEAKS FERENGI]

ARCHER: I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

[ALIEN SPEAKS FERENGI]

WHAT?

[ALIEN SPEAKS FERENGI]

...WHAT I'M SAYING?

ALIEN 2: SIT DOWN! ARCHER: UGH!

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

ALIEN: WHO WE ARE IS UNIMPORTANT.

DO YOU COMMAND THIS SHIP?

I'M THE CAPTAIN.

ARCHER: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CREW?

ALIEN: THEY'RE SLEEPING.

THEY WON'T BE HARMED AS LONG AS YOU COOPERATE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WHERE IS THE LOCATION OF YOUR VAULT?

VAULT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

ALIEN: MAYBE THE TRANSLATOR'S MALFUNCTIONING.

ALIEN 2: HE UNDERSTANDS.

THIS IS A VESSEL OF EXPLORATION, NOT A CARGO SHIP.

WE DON'T DO ANY COMMERCE.

WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE AFTER, YOU WON'T FIND IT HERE.

ALIEN: YOU CARRY NO VALUABLES OF ANY KIND?

NO PRECIOUS GEMS, NO LATINUM?

I JUST TOLD YOU.

ALIEN: LIAR!

WHOEVER YOU ARE...

JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND GET OFF MY SHIP.

ALIEN: COUSIN, MAYBE WE SHOULD.

WE'VE MADE SOME GOOD ACQUISITIONS ALREADY.

ALIEN 2: THERE'S MORE HERE. HE'S HIDING SOMETHING.

ALIEN 3: I AGREE WITH KREM. LET'S TAKE WHAT WE HAVE AND GO.

ALIEN 4: WHAT DO WE HAVE?

SCANNERS, LOW-GRADE WEAPONS.

NOTHING BUT TRINKETS.

KREM: DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE FEMALES.

SOME OF THEM ARE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN LATINUM.

IF WE LEAVE NOW,

WE COULD MAKE THE NEXT SLAVE MARKET ON STAMERIS.

SLAVE MARKET?

ALIEN: YOU'RE RIGHT, KREM.

PICK OUT THE FEMALES THAT WILL BRING THE BEST PRICE.

KREM: I ALREADY HAVE.

IT WAS A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU.

WAIT.

YOU'VE RECONSIDERED?

I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE VAULT IS...

IF YOU LET ME KEEP HALF THE GOLD.

ALIEN: GOLD-PRESSED LATINUM?

GOLD BARS.

HUNDREDS OF THEM.

BUT I KEEP HALF.

ALIEN: 10%.

ARCHER: 40%. ALIEN: 15%.

ARCHER: 35%

AND NOT A BAR LESS.

YOU'LL NEVER FIND THE VAULT WITHOUT MY HELP.

ALIEN: 20%--FINAL OFFER.

NO DEAL.

I'D RATHER YOU TAKE THE WOMEN AND GO.

ALIEN: 35%. THAT'S NOT A BAD OFFER, ULIS.

MAYBE WE SHOULD CONSIDER IT.

ULIS: NO. WE'LL FIND THE VAULT OURSELVES.

KREM, START LOADING THE MERCHANDISE.

KREM: WHY AM I ALWAYS STUCK DOING THE MENIAL LABOR?

ULIS: MAKE HIM DO IT.

KREM: OH, NOT THERE.

OVER HERE.

ARCHER: IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A HABIT OUT OF THIS,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET A BIGGER SHIP.

KREM: IT'S NOT MY SHIP. IT'S MY COUSIN'S.

ARCHER: REALLY?

I WAS GETTING THE IMPRESSION YOU WERE IN CHARGE.

[KREM CHUCKLING]

THIS IS ONLY MY FIRST MONTH ON THE JOB.

ARCHER: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT SO FAR?

KREM: MY COUSIN'S A SKILLFUL MERCHANT.

I'M LEARNING A LOT FROM HIM.

OH, YOU'D BETTER SLIDE THAT OVER TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE OTHERS.

[ARCHER SIGHS] KREM: HMM.

ARCHER: WHAT DO YOU NEED ALL THIS FOR, ANYWAY?

YOU SEEM TO ALREADY HAVE PLENTY OF TECHNOLOGY.

KREM: ONE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH.

THE RULES OF ACQUISITION SAY EXPAND OR DIE.

ARCHER: RULES OF ACQUISITION?

KREM: THAT'S RULE NUMBER 45.

I'VE MEMORIZED ALL 173,

INCLUDING THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE--

A MAN IS ONLY WORTH THE SUM OF HIS POSSESSIONS.

BACK ON MY HOMEWORLD, THAT KIND OF THINKING

ALMOST DESTROYED OUR CIVILIZATION.

KREM: YOU SHOULD HAVE MANAGED YOUR BUSINESSES BETTER.

COME ON.

WE HAVE A LOT MORE MOVING TO DO.

WE?

ARCHER: SO, WHAT DO YOU DO,

SPLIT THE PROFITS EQUALLY BETWEEN THE FOUR OF YOU?

KREM: OH, MY COUSIN DETERMINES THE SHARES.

ARCHER: YOU MUST GET A BIGGER PERCENTAGE THAN YOUR CREWMATES.

KREM: ACTUALLY, I GET THE SMALLEST.

ARCHER: OH, THAT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR.

YOU'RE THE ONE DOING ALL THE WORK.

KREM: MY COUSIN KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR ME.

HE MANAGES ALL MY FINANCIAL TRANSACTIONS.

ARCHER: REALLY?

KREM: I DON'T HAVE THE LOBES FOR BUSINESS.

ARCHER: I ASSUME HE CHARGES YOU FOR HIS SERVICES.

KREM: OF COURSE.

HE WOULDN'T BE A VERY GOOD BUSINESSMAN IF HE DIDN'T.

NEVER ALLOW FAMILY TO STAND IN THE WAY OF PROFIT.

ARCHER: ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR RULES?

KREM: NUMBER 6. ARCHER: AH.

KREM: MY COUSIN'S GOING TO HELP ME

ACQUIRE MY OWN SHIP SOME DAY.

[ARCHER COUGHING]

YOU THINK YOU COULD BRING ME A GLASS OF WATER?

[COUGHING]

IT COMES OUT OF A DISPENSER IN THE MESS HALL.

KREM: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OOH, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BRING ME

SOME FOOD WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?

WHATEVER'S LEFT IN THE SERVING CASE.

THAT IS, IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY TAKEN EVERYTHING.

TUCKER: YOU ALL RIGHT, CAPTAIN?

ARCHER: NEVER BETTER. YOU?

TUCKER: FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, YOU AND I

ARE THE ONLY ONES ON THE SHIP STILL STANDING.

I WOULD'VE TRIED TO WAKE SOME OF THE OTHERS,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING LEFT IN SICK BAY TO DO IT WITH.

ARCHER: I'M NOT SURPRISED. THESE ALIENS ARE TAKING

EVERYTHING THEY CAN GET THEIR HANDS ON.

TUCKER: WHO ARE THEY?

ARCHER: I DON'T KNOW YET.

CAN YOU GET A PHASE PISTOL?

TUCKER: THEY CLEANED OUT THE ARMORY.

ARCHER: THERE ARE 14 WEAPONS LOCKERS ON THIS SHIP.

THEY CAN'T HAVE EMPTIED EVERY ONE OF THEM.

TUCKER: TRUST ME, CAPTAIN, I'VE ALREADY CHECKED.

ARCHER: I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA NEED SOME HELP TO PULL IT OFF.

THEY USED A HYPOSPRAY TO WAKE ME UP.

IT'S IN LAUNCH BAY 2.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

KREM: THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.

ARCHER: GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING IT.

KREM: MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE YOUR COOK WITH US.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

ARCHER: DO YOU MIND?

KREM: OH. OH.

OH.

UM...

COMMANDER?

TUCKER: YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

JUST BECAUSE A GUY'S IN HIS UNDERWEAR,

YOU THINK THE WORST.

T'POL: I ASSUME YOU HAVE AN EXPLANATION.

TUCKER: DR. PHLOX MADE ME CLEAR BIO-SCAN

AFTER I GOT BACK FROM THAT LUNAR SURVEY.

WHILE I WAS IN DECON,

SOMETHING KNOCKED OUT THE ENTIRE CREW.

ALIENS ARE IN CONTROL OF THE SHIP.

THAT ARTIFACT YOU BROUGHT BACK FROM THE LUNAR SURFACE--

IT MUST HAVE BEEN PLACED THERE INTENTIONALLY.

WHEN I OPENED IT, THE CANISTER RELEASED SOME KIND OF GAS.

[DOOR OPENING]

KREM: THIS FEMALE...

IS DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS.

WHAT SPECIES IS SHE?

ARCHER: SHE'S A VULCAN.

VULCAN.

THEY'RE REALLY NOT ALL THAT INTERESTING

ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

I'D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW THIS ONE.

MAYBE I WON'T SELL HER.

NOT RIGHT AWAY.

TRUST ME.

SHE'S GOT NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

ARCHER: SHE'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING.

[KREM SIGHS]

ARCHER: KREM. KREM: HUH?

[DOOR OPENS]

YOU OK?

T'POL: THERE ARE TIMES I WISH VULCANS HADN'T LEARNED

TO REPRESS THEIR VIOLENT TENDENCIES.

TUCKER: COME ON, WE GOT WORK TO DO.

T'POL: WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS?

TUCKER: I CAN'T WAKE ANYBODY ELSE UP.

THIS HYPOSPRAY IS EMPTY.

LET'S GO...

UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE SOLD INTO SLAVERY.

[SIGHS]

ALIEN: THERE'S NOTHING HERE.

ALIEN 2: YOU'RE NOT SCANNING DEEP ENOUGH.

THIS IS THEIR VAULT.

I SAW ONE JUST LIKE IT ON A GAVARIAN SHIP.

ALIEN 1: WHY WOULD THEY KEEP A VAULT IN THE MEDICAL BAY?

ULIS: RULE OF ACQUISITION NUMBER 23--

NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR HEALTH...

-EXCEPT FOR YOUR MONEY. -YOUR MONEY.

ALIEN: I DON'T SEE A LOCKING MECHANISM.

ALIEN 2: IT MUST USE SOME SORT OF MAGNETIC SEAL.

I'LL NEED MICROCHARGES TO BLOW IT OPEN.

HOLD ON.

ALIEN: OH.

ALIEN 2: WHOA. WHOA.

AAH!

ALIEN: THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME.

WE'VE ONLY GOT 3 HOURS BEFORE THEY BEGIN TO WAKE.

IT'LL TAKE DAYS TO SEARCH EVERY HATCH.

ULIS: WE'LL FIND IT, MUK.

BE PATIENT. OPEN THOSE.

ALIEN: EMPTY.

MUK: AH! I FOUND SOMETHING!

ULIS: GOLD? MUK: NO.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE QUALITY MERCHANDISE.

OH, SPLENDID CRAFTSMANSHIP.

ULIS: ADD IT TO THE POT.

DO I LOOK LIKE A MENK TO YOU?

THIS BEAUTY'S GOING IN MY PERSONAL COLLECTION.

ULIS: WE AGREED TO SPLIT OUR PROFITS.

MUK: YOU SAID THIS SHIP WOULD MAKE US RICH.

WE'LL BE LUCKY IF WE BREAK EVEN.

ULIS: WE HAD A DEAL.

MUK: I'M AMENDING IT.

ANYTHING I FIND, I KEEP.

ULIS: FINE. I'LL JUST DEDUCT IT FROM YOUR SHARE OF THE GOLD.

MUK: WHAT'S WRONG, ULIS? CAN'T FIND YOUR POT OF GOLD?

ULIS: WHAT'S ALL THIS?

MUK: HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. DON'T TOUCH.

ULIS: IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP US,

YOU SHOULD RETURN TO THE SHIP.

AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LOOKING FOR THE VAULT.

THEY'RE NOT GOING TO PUT IT ON A MAP, YOU IDIOT.

I KNOW THAT.

BUT LOOK.

IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, THESE ARE THE CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS.

ULIS: SO?

ALIEN: THAT'S WHERE YOU KEEP YOUR LATINUM.

ULIS: HMM?

WHAT'S THE QUICKEST ROUTE?

ALIEN: WE COULD TAKE THIS ELEVATOR TO THIS DECK

AND CUT THROUGH HERE.

ULIS: IT'S WORTH A LOOK.

[ALARM]

ULIS: WEAPONS!

WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?

ALIEN: OVER HERE!

[ALIEN GROANING]

ALIEN: MAKE IT STOP!

[ALARM STOPS]

ULIS: LET'S GET TO THEIR CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS.

[CHUCKLES]

MUK: WHERE ARE MY SCANNERS?

I LEFT THEM RIGHT HERE!

ULIS: YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL WITH YOUR ACQUISITIONS.

MUK: OH, OH!

OPEN YOUR BAG.

ULIS: NO.

MUK: OPEN IT.

ULIS: ARE YOU CALLING ME A THIEF?

MUK: EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'D STEAL

THE WAX OUT OF YOUR OWN MOTHER'S EARS.

ALIEN: PLEASE, GENTLEMEN. WE'RE PARTNERS.

MUK: PARTNERS DON'T ROB FROM EACH OTHER.

ULIS: WHY WOULD I BOTHER TAKING SOME WORTHLESS SCANNERS?

[BEEPING]

MUK: WORTHLESS?

ULIS: I DIDN'T PUT THEM THERE.

MUK: OH, REALLY?

THEN WHO DID?

ULIS: I TELL YOU, I DON'T KNOW!

MUK: MAYBE THEY JUST JUMPED OFF THE TABLE AND CRAWLED INSIDE.

WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE? THERE WERE 3.

DON'T LOOK AT ME.

MUK: GIVE IT BACK.

ALIEN: GET AWAY.

MUK: COME BACK HERE!

YOU HEARD ME, YOU CHEATING, NO-GOOD LIAR!

KREM: THERE.

THAT ONE.

ARCHER: I'M SURPRISED YOUR FRIEND DIDN'T GET ELECTROCUTED.

YOU CAN'T JUST YANK OUT AN ANTIMATTER INJECTOR

LIKE IT WAS A LIGHT BULB.

WOULD YOU MIND?

I'LL HAVE TO TAKE THE INJECTOR ASSEMBLY OFFLINE.

[KREM GRUNTS]

WARP-CORE PARTS ARE IN HIGH DEMAND.

ARCHER: HMM.

EVEN IF YOUR COUSIN DOES FIND THE VAULT,

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

HE'S GONNA SHARE THE GOLD WITH YOU?

WE HAVE A CONTRACT.

IF YOU NEVER SEE THE VAULT, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT'S IN IT.

HE COULD TRY TO CHEAT YOU OUT OF YOUR SHARE.

HE WOULDN'T CHEAT ME.

WHAT HAPPENED TO...

"NEVER ALLOW FAMILY TO STAND IN THE WAY OF PROFIT"?

I'VE SEEN THE WAY THE OTHERS TREAT YOU.

ONE OF THEM SAID YOU HAVE NO TALENT FOR BUSINESS.

WHY NOT PROVE THEM WRONG?

I'VE GOT A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

HELP ME CAPTURE YOUR ASSOCIATES,

AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE VAULT IS.

WE'LL SPLIT THE GOLD, 50-50.

ONCE THEY'RE IN THE BRIG, YOU CAN FLY OFF A WEALTHY MAN.

YOU SAID YOU'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF HAVING YOUR OWN SHIP.

HOW DO I KNOW YOU WON'T DOUBLE-CROSS ME?

ARCHER: YOU'RE THE ONE HOLDING THE GUN.

THINK ABOUT IT.

NO MORE TAKING ORDERS,

GETTING STUCK WITH THE MENIAL WORK.

I'LL EVEN THROW IN THE VULCAN FEMALE.

OHH.

SO WHAT'LL IT BE?

OPPORTUNITIES LIKE THIS DON'T COME ALONG EVERY DAY.

GET BACK TO WORK.

[SIGHS]

IT'S YOUR LOSS.

ALIEN: WHERE IS THE VAULT?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

[BARKS]

I CAN'T LOCK ON TO ITS LANGUAGE.

MUK: IT'S A LOWER LIFE-FORM, YOU FOOL.

PROBABLY THE CAPTAIN'S NEXT MEAL.

ALIEN: DON'T BE SO SURE.

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF ITS EARS.

MUK: I COULD GET SEVERAL BARS OF LATINUM

FOR THIS CREATURE AT THE MALURZIAN ZOO.

ULIS: THERE'S NOTHING HERE.

LET'S SEARCH THE OTHER QUARTERS.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF VAULT HUNTING FOR ONE DAY.

YOU TWO HAVE FUN.

[CHUCKLES]

WHO'S THERE?

ONE OF THE ALIENS IS AWAKE!

[QUIET TAP]

TUCKER: AAH!

[GRUNTING]

MUK: AAH!

AAH!

ULIS: WHY AREN'T YOU ASLEEP?

UGH!

[GROANS]

ARCHER: WHAT'S NEXT?

WHERE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PUT IT?

THERE'S HARDLY ANY ROOM LEFT ON YOUR SHIP.

I THINK IT'S TIME YOU DECIDED

WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO KEEP.

KREM: UH, I'LL ASK ULIS.

ARCHER: CAN'T YOU MAKE A SIMPLE DECISION BY YOURSELF?

IF YOU WANT TO RUN YOUR OWN SHIP SOMEDAY,

MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SHOWING A LITTLE INITIATIVE.

KREM: I'M NOT THE ONE IN CHARGE.

ARCHER: AND YOU NEVER WILL BE WITH THAT ATTITUDE.

ULIS: WHO'S THIS?

ARCHER: MY CHIEF ENGINEER.

ULIS: WHY IS HE AWAKE?

ARCHER: DON'T ASK ME.

ULIS: ARE THERE OTHERS?

ARCHER: I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY. YOU?

KREM: UH... ALIEN: THE ANESTHESIA

ISN'T SUPPOSED TO WEAR OFF FOR ANOTHER TWO HOURS.

MAYBE WE USED THE WRONG DOSAGE.

THERE COULD BE OTHERS AWAKE. WE SHOULD LEAVE.

ULIS: NOT WITHOUT THE GOLD. MUK: FORGET THE GOLD.

WE'LL NEVER FIND IT.

ULIS: IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, TAKE ONE OF THEIR SHUTTLECRAFT.

I'LL BE HAPPY TO KEEP YOUR SHARE.

YOU EXPECT ME TO GO EMPTY-HANDED?

YOU CAN KEEP THE SHUTTLECRAFT AND THE FEMALES.

THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

ULIS: IT'LL HAVE TO BE.

MUK: YOU'LL REGRET THIS, ULIS.

GET OUT.

GRISH, HELP ME WITH THE WOMEN.

TUCKER: WAIT. I'LL SHOW YOU THE VAULT.

ARCHER: TRIP.

TUCKER: LEAVE THE WOMEN HERE, AND I'LL LET YOU HAVE THE GOLD.

ARCHER: NOT ANOTHER WORD, COMMANDER. THAT'S AN ORDER.

TUCKER: I'M NOT LETTING THEM TAKE MY WIFE.

ULIS: WIFE?

KREM: SHE'S NOT THE ONE WITH THE POINTY EARS, IS SHE?

TUCKER: NO. HER NAME'S HOSHI.

AND YOU'RE GONNA KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER.

DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

ARCHER: YOU TAKE THEM ANYWHERE NEAR THAT VAULT,

AND I'LL THROW YOU IN THE BRIG FOR INSUBORDINATION.

TUCKER: YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THIS CREW.

ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR PRECIOUS GOLD.

ARCHER: I'M WARNING YOU, TRIP.

YOU'RE A GREEDY SON OF A BITCH.

ARCHER: WHAT'S YOUR WIFE WORTH?

5 BARS OF GOLD, MAYBE 6?

LET THEM TAKE HOSHI, AND I'LL GIVE YOU 10.

TUCKER: WHAT?!

ALL RIGHT, 15.

AAH!

ULIS: ENOUGH!

ARCHER: UGH!

ULIS: I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER.

TUCKER: YOU'LL LEAVE THE WOMEN?

ULIS: YOU HAVE MY WORD AS A BUSINESSMAN.

TUCKER: FOLLOW ME.

ULIS: WAIT HERE. I'LL GO.

MUK: SO YOU CAN CHEAT US OUT OF OUR SHARE?

HIDE IT IN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR BAG?

I PLAN TO COUNT EVERY BAR OF THAT GOLD MYSELF

BEFORE IT LEAVES THE VAULT.

ULIS: WE'LL COUNT IT LATER.

OH, I KNOW YOU TOO WELL, ULIS.

GRISH: IF HE'S GOING, I'M GOING.

ME TOO!

ULIS: WE CAN'T ALL GO. TIME'S RUNNING OUT.

SOMEONE HAS TO STAY AND FINISH LOADING THE SHIP.

GRISH: THAT'S KREM'S JOB.

KREM: I'M TIRED OF DOING THIS JOB!

I DON'T WANT TO DO ALL THE MENIAL WORK!

KREM!

KREM: IT'S TIME THAT I SHOWED A LITTLE INITIATIVE!

I HAVE THE LOBES FOR BUSINESS!

YOU JUST NEVER GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO PROVE IT!

GET BACK TO WORK!

YES, COUSIN.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU...SURE TOLD HIM.

KREM: GET BACK TO WORK.

[GROANS]

MY BACK.

KREM: WHAT ABOUT IT?

ARCHER: I THINK I PULLED A MUSCLE.

IT'S AN OLD WATER-POLO INJURY.

FLARES UP EVERY NOW AND THEN.

I JUST NEED TO REST.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY TIME.

IF ULIS COMES BACK AND WE'RE NOT FINISHED...

THEN YOU'D BETTER GET WORKING.

[KREM GRUNTS]

ULIS: WHERE ARE WE GOING?

TUCKER: BOTTOM DECK.

MUK: WE ALREADY LOOKED THERE.

TUCKER: YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T LOOK IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

ULIS: AFTER YOU.

T'POL: HAVE YOU COME TO RESCUE ME?

HOW DID YOU WAKE UP?

T'POL: WHATEVER PUT THE OTHERS TO SLEEP

DIDN'T AFFECT ME IN THE SAME WAY.

MY BODY WORKS DIFFERENTLY THAN THE HUMANS.

HUMANS?

T'POL: THAT'S THE NAME OF THEIR SPECIES.

THEY'RE A TERRIBLE RACE--

DECEITFUL, CRUEL.

WHY DO YOU LIVE WITH THEM?

IT WASN'T MY CHOICE.

I'M A CAPTIVE HERE. THEY'VE ENSLAVED ME.

PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU.

KREM: YOU WOULD MAKE A HANDSOME WIFE.

[CHUCKLES]

DO YOU...

KNOW HOW TO PERFORM OO-MOX?

T'POL: I'M WELL-TRAINED IN THE ARTS OF PLEASURE.

KREM: OHH...

T'POL: BUT I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH OO-MOX.

KREM: MY LOBES.

STROKE...MY LOBES.

[KREM GASPING] T'POL: LIKE THIS?

KREM: YES.

T'POL: AND THIS?

KREM: OH, YES!

ULIS: HAVEN'T WE BEEN THROUGH THIS SECTION?

TUCKER: NOT YET.

ULIS: I RECOGNIZE THAT CONDUIT.

TUCKER: WE HAVE A THOUSAND CONDUITS LIKE THAT ON THIS SHIP.

MUK: WE'RE GOING IN CIRCLES.

TUCKER: THIS WAY.

GRISH: ISN'T THERE A MORE DIRECT ROUTE?

TUCKER: THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF THIS THING.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND

UNLESS YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

ULIS: HOW MUCH FURTHER?

TUCKER: KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON. IT'S CLOSE.

TUCKER: WATCH YOUR HEAD.

MUK: IS THIS YOUR PLAN-- TO WALK US TO DEATH?

ULIS: IS THIS SOME KIND OF TRICK?

TUCKER: RELAX. WE'RE HERE.

ALIEN: OH!

GRISH: THE VAULT?

IT'S ALL YOURS.

ULIS: OPEN IT. OPEN IT!

BETTER LET ME GO IN FIRST.

ULIS: WHY?

KNOWING CAPTAIN ARCHER,

HE'S PROBABLY RIGGED THE PLACE WITH BOOBY TRAPS.

JUST GIVE ME A FEW MINUTES TO CHECK IT OUT.

MUK: NO!

YOU COULD HAVE A WEAPON HIDDEN IN THERE.

ULIS: I'LL GO. MUK: NO!

NOT WITHOUT ME, YOU WON'T.

YOU'LL FILL YOUR POCKETS WITH GOLD.

ULIS: TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME!

GRISH: WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!

ULIS: GET AWAY FROM THAT HATCH!

OUT OF MY WAY!

GRISH: THIEF! I WANT MY SHARE!

ULIS: IT'S MINE!

MUK: GET BACK OR I'LL GNAW YOUR HANDS OFF!

GRISH: MY GOLD! MY GOLD!

ULIS: IT'S A TRAP!

UGH!

TUCKER: SORRY, FELLAS.

BANK MUST BE CLOSED TODAY.

ARCHER: DID IT WORK?

T'POL: PERFECTLY.

[ARCHER SIGHS]

DO YOU HAVE THE KEY?

T'POL: NOT THAT INTERESTING?

NO SENSE OF HUMOR?

ALWAYS COMPLAINING?

ARCHER: I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

T'POL: HOW? ARCHER: 5 BARS OF GOLD?

OPEN THESE THINGS, SUBCOMMANDER. THAT'S AN ORDER.

[ALIEN WHIMPERS]

[PORTHOS WHINING]

OH, YES.

YEAH, PORTHOS. MM.

YES. YOU OK?

ARCHER: I'M GOING TO BE CONTACTING

THE VULCAN HIGH COMMAND, AS WELL AS STARFLEET.

IF YOU COME WITHIN A LIGHT-YEAR OF ANY ONE OF OUR SHIPS,

YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT YOU.

KREM: YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN.

ARCHER: IF YOU WANT TO BE UNSHACKLED,

YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT SHOWING KREM HERE

A LITTLE MORE RESPECT.

MUK: VERMIN!

ULIS: RELEASE ME.

AND I'LL FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED.

KREM: LATER.

MAYBE. IF YOU'RE NICE.

LET ME GO, YOU IDIOT!

SHUT UP!

KREM: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO STAY HERE WITH THE HUMANS?

WITH MY SHIP AND YOUR TALENTS,

WE COULD BUILD A VAST FORTUNE.

ULIS: I'LL LET YOU HAVE MY LATINUM PEN--

THE ONE YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD YOUR EYE ON.

KREM: NO, THANKS.

ULIS: MY BEETLE SNUFF COLLECTION?

KREM: MAKES ME SNEEZE.

ULIS: NAME YOUR PRICE.

WHATEVER HE OFFERS YOU, I'LL DOUBLE IT.

KREM! WE'RE FAMILY.

MUK: I KNOW A BOLIAN FEMALE.

I COULD INTRODUCE YOU.