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Signal to Noise

What happened?

He... met someone else.

[Through telephone] Oh, I'm sorry.

Are -- Are you...

Divorced?

I was gonna say "okay," but...

Oh. Yes.

[Chuckles]

Uh...yeah, I-I guess I am.

So, are you divorced?

[Chuckles]

Uh, almost.

You know, it's a pain in the ass doing it from Japan.

So there's all these forms and trips to the post office and sending stuff to Texas.

And it all feels like this weird dream...

[Chuckles]

...being married and Tokyo...

[Sighs] I'm sorry.

Do you want to hear this?

I want to hear whatever you want to tell me.

I feel like an idiot.

You're not an idiot.

Your impulsive, maybe.

Okay, Joe. [Chuckles]

Hey, I'm impulsive, too, so...

Are you, uh -- Are you gonna stay in California?

I don't know.

I have to get out of this hotel, though.

The shower sucks, and I really want a bath.

I took a lot of baths in Japan.

I love a good bath.

Yeah.

So, no hints about this game, huh?

[Chuckles]

No. You got to figure it out yourself.

Oh, but it's so hard.

It is until you figure it out.

And then it isn't.

[Exhales]

Who was it?

Who was what?

Um, the woman that Tom...

Oh.

Oh, that's, uh...

[Sighs]

That's the best part. I never even asked.

Talk to me. Tell me something.

[Chuckles]

Tell you what?

Just -- I don't know -- anything, life on Earth.

What'd I miss?

Well, what do you want to hear?

Joe, just talk to me. Okay.

Uh, did you know that Bill Clinton is the president?

Yeah. They love him in Japan.

All those cheeseburgers.

[Chuckles] So, what else?

Um, the Cowboys won the Super Bowl.

Audrey Hepburn died. And so did River Phoenix.

Uh, some crazies tried to blow up the World Trade Center, and, uh...you can be gay in the military, but nobody can ask you about it, and you can't tell anybody.

Did you know IBM lost $5 billion?

They check the couch cushions?

[Chuckles]

You know, Gordon went through this whole health phase.

He's got a room in his house full of gym stuff.

Like, he's got this NordicTrack and something called a ButtMaster, so...

[Chuckles]

And, um, this thing happened to me.

I was getting out of my car at a Safeway, and I saw this woman flailing her arms, just --

A swarm of bees was attacking her, just stinging her again and again, you know?

And she fell to the ground.

And out of nowhere, this ice-cream truck comes screaming through the parking lot, and it's playing that music from The Sting.

And the guy gets out of the -- the truck, and he's doing CPR and everything.

And the truck is still playing that tinkling piano music, and it keeps playing it even after the ambulance arrives.

And it's all I could think about for days, these [chuckles] paramedics just working on her like crazy while this music played and how that might be the last thing she ever hears.

♪♪

Cameron?

[Soft sighing through telephone]

Hey, Cam?

♪♪

[Sighing continues]

♪♪

I'll just keep talking

'cause I think you're --

I think you're still there.

♪♪

[Sighing continues]

Are you there?

♪♪

I'm here.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Rapid beeping]

[Tea kettle whistling]

[Whistling continues]

Hello?

[Click, whistling stops]

[Through telephone] Hello?

Oh, hey.

Hey.

I was just making some tea.

Do you want to know what your Hawaiian name is?

[Chuckling] Okay.

It's Kamelonu.

See, there's this whole website where you --

You didn't hang up?

Well, yeah, I had to tell you my Hawaiian name.

What is it?

It's just Joe, but with an I instead of a J.

Eye-oh-ee? [Clink]

I actually think that's it's "Yo."

[Chuckles] Right?

Right. I'm not calling you "Yo."

[Both laugh]

[Clink through telephone] That is such a Kamelonu thing to say.

[Groaning lightly]

[Light thud through telephone]

San Jose is so weird.

You know it's actually bigger than San Francisco?

I know, but it seems so much smaller, doesn't it?

Oh. I think I see a water park.

I haven't ridden a water slide since I was twelve.

Isn't that weird?

You might have already been on your last water slide.

No way. I always planned on buying up a water park, living there alone, riding the flumes by night.

[Laughs]

Yeah?

That's what you wanted to do when you grew up?

Honestly, I feel like I've always been a grown up.

Well, I bet you were one of the only babies with a chiseled jawline.

No, there was one other kid, but we fought to the death.

[Both chuckle]

[Faucet turns on]

[Keypad beeping]

[High-pitched beep]

Donna: What do you think about Rover?

[Fax machine humming]

Uh, um, Rover?

Um, they're...smart, pivot on a dime, good team dynamics.

Yeah, but doesn't it seem like Elliot and Vera just want to kill each other sometimes?

That's because they're married.

Huh.

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Sighing] Well... you should just know that they're gonna talk major shit about you on the drive home every night.

About me?

I'm making you lead on Rover.

You pulled them off the slush pile.

You've been doing the work of an associate for months now.

You're ready.

Get them set up in the Incubator today, and start looking for my new assistant.

Until we find one, you'll be pulling double duty.

Congratulations.

This is typically where members of the human race express some enthusiasm or...

Thank you.

[Light tap]

[Mid-tempo music playing through speaker]

[Horn honks]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Indistinct singing]

Man: Bobby, yo, grab it out of the car.

[Hinges spring]

[Door closes]

Who's winning today?

[Singing continues]

[Door closes] Haley Clark.

Young lady, tell me there's a good reason you're not in second period right now.

[Door closes]

[Singing continues]

So, he's from Philadelphia.

Joe: [Through telephone] West Philly, yeah.

But his mom is really freaked out about what happened on the basketball court, so she packed up his stuff and -- and moved him to Los Angeles, and he's been living there ever since.

I'm sorry, but was the thing on the basketball court really that big a deal?

I mean, to send your kid away forever?

I think it involved gangs.

-Oh. -Yeah.

And he's not actually royalty. Joe: No.

"Fresh Prince" refers to his street cred.

TV in Japan is weird. [Laughs]

There's all these, like, um, game shows where they make you do insane things like, um -- like dress up like a giant banana, and then they drop you into a zoo with a bunch of chimps that haven't eaten in a week.

And you're terrified, screaming, running around, but then there is this [chuckles] studio audience there who's watching and laughing at you.

[Chuckles] That sounds horrible.

You know, I was on TV once.

Mm? For IBM?

Uh, no.

I was 11 -- uh, Thanksgiving Day parade.

I was a pilgrim, this other kid was wearing his mom's brown tights and construction-paper feathers, and we chased each other around a float and almost fell off. [Phone beeping]

Hey, can you just -- Like, one second, one second.

[Keypad beeps] [Grunts]

Hello?

-Hello? -Hey.

[Receiver clicks through telephone]

I was on TV when I was a kid.

"Good Morning Dallas."

Troubled-youth exposé?

No. [Chuckles]

I won a beauty contest.

You...

You what? [Chuckles]

Yeah.

Little Miss Flawless, 1970.

My mom, um, signed me up for a pageant after my dad died.

I think she thought it would distract me or, uh, we'd bond or something.

[Chuckles]

And you won.

That time? No. No, I lost.

But she kept signing me up.

I told her I hated it, but she...didn't listen.

That bad, huh?

What, a bunch of 8-year-olds whitening their teeth and getting ranked on their looks?

Yeah, it was that bad.

So, you whitened your teeth.

Oh, my God.

She had a whole box of tricks.

Spray adhesive to -- to keep your bathing suit in place, uh... [Gasps]

Oh. Hemorrhoid cream.

Hemorrhoid cream? Yeah.

Yeah, 'cause I'd, um, cry a lot? Before the competitions?

I didn't want to be there.

I just wanted to go home, and so I'd cry and cry.

And that puffs you up pretty bad.

So my mom found out that if you put hemorrhoid cream all around my eyes, it took the puffiness away.

So I could be normal again and march out onstage and do the Pretty Feet Pose.

One foot forward, one foot back, hand underneath the rib cage, big, stupid smile on my face.

[Chuckling] And...I'd lose.

Until you won.

Yeah.

Little Miss Flawless, 1970.

Got all those flaws taken care of.

[Knock on door through telephone]

One sec.

[Vacuum whirring]

-Ms. Howe? -Hmm?

A Gavin Greene from Atari is trying to reach you.

Thank you.

[Door closes]

[Inhales deeply]

So, is there, like, a Fresh Princess of Bel Air?

Is it dumb to get suspended for skipping school?

It is, okay?

But we're not here to debate that.

Okay? Look, I know what it's like to have an older sibling who requires a lot of attention.

Okay, your Uncle Henry? Total bonehead.

Always getting into major trouble.

And -- And so, I kind of flew under the radar.

[Birds chirping]

[Door opens]

Look, Haley... [Door closes]

...if you want to blow off some steam, fine, just don't be dumb about it.

You know, this isn't you.

You're -- You're -- You're -- You're smart, you know?

You're -- You're our rock, you know -- [Sobbing]

Oh, honey, Bug?

No. I'm sorry.

-Look -- -I don't...

No, I'm sorry. Look, it --

Look, it's -- it's not even that big of a deal.

I'm -- I'm -- I'm -- I'm not even mad.

It's -- [Knocking on window]

Oh, sweetie, did --

Shep, I'm -- I'm kind of busy here.

Ah, hey there, kiddo!

Okay, look, did I upset you?

Is it something that I said or...

[Sobs] No, I'm...

Oh, honey -- Kind of need you inside, Gordon.

Shep, what do you need? Kinda need you inside.

Okay, well, I'll be there in a few minutes, all right?

[Sobs] Okay, sure.

Oh, Bug. And we're on it.

No. Probably going to be fine.

[Sniffles]

[Continues sobbing]

Shep: Busy signals for users trying to log on, the customer-service calls spiking.

Uh, throughput's at a crawl.

We're not talking Chernobyl-style meltdown yet, but we're in Three Mile Island territory for suresies. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

All because of the flat-fee model? [Sighs]

I mean, are people really spending that much more time online?

A lot of people just leave their computers logged on all day now.

Hey, Bug, do you mind waiting in my office for me?

We got three dozen users who've been on for more than twenty-four hours.

So kick 'em off.

We'd have to write new code to do that and then get everyone to download a software patch.

Yeah. We need more capacity from MCI.

Get me, uh -- Get me Jon Volpi on the phone.

Uh, tried. Can't reach him.

All right, well, get me Alan or Dave or that Bobby Sobrato guy.

Uh, w-we tried them, too.

We can't get ahold of anybody at MCI.

[Indistinct conversations]

Where's Joe?

Uh, he never came in. We tried him, too.

It just keeps going to voicemail.

Look, just --

Shep, we need to fix it fast, okay?

AOL is breathing down our butts, you know.

And if we don't give our customers what they need, they're gonna go somewhere else.

[Door opens]

[Sighs]

[Telephone ringing] [Groans]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Door closes]

[Conversations continue]

Do you know how to work Excel?

Yeah.

Well... can you put these in a spreadsheet for me?

It's really important.

[Conversations continue]

Okay.

There's some quarters in the top drawer if you need anything from the vending machine.

Okay? I'll be right back.

[Conversations continue, door closes]

[Sighs]

[Button clicks, computer hums]

[Keys clacking] It just doesn't sound like Haley.

I was sure the school got her mixed up with Joanie.

Gordon: [Through telephone] Yeah, no, I know.

I'm telling you, Donna, I don't know what's going on.

She's never been the crying type. [Knocking on window]

Yeah, I mean, it was that -- that -- that really intense crying.

Where you try and hold it in, but you can't, and, you know, then you just start going into convulsions.

Ah, maybe she's just on her period.

No, Donna, this isn't menstrual crying.

Trust me. I know menstrual crying.

Yeah. You know menstrual crying.

Look, do you want me to talk to her?

No.

No, I'll -- I'll handle it.

Okay, well, good luck. [Indistinct conversation]

[Exhales sharply]

[Receiver clicks]

[Receiver clicks]

Saturday afternoon, nothing but ocean.

Oh, Donna, it was Goddamn beautiful.

[Chuckles] So, I took my little disco nap and I had a dream... Ah.

...that I was this -- I was this big, fat... [Laughing]

...bald baby just sloshin' around a manatee's tummy, just, "Whoosh, fworsh."

But when I come to... [Sighs]

...by God, the boat is pitchin' and it's yawin' and it's rollin' like a drunk donkey.

Just a freak storm out of nowhere, just a wall of black blocking my path back to the coast.

I'm lost.

And I'm thinking, "Turn out the lights.

The party's over." Then I started to panic.

Then I started to S.O.S. like an S.O.B., and that's when these two eggheads just come cruising up.

[Slaps table] Unbelievable.

See, these two have a custom GPS receiver on their boat.

That's the Global Positioning System.

That is right, Donna, yeah.

Turns out Fred and Bill are engineers.

They made AMD a lot of money by making real expensive stuff real cheap.

Not a bad skill set. Right.

So we had a few beers, and we get to talking.

And what we thought was, why not take their idea and scale it up?

Make something a guy like me can buy off the rack?

Uh, doesn't Garmin already do that?

Mm, yeah, but them and Magellan got a stranglehold on the market, and, Donna, they charge up the wazoo.

We're talking about disrupting the price point, bringing the costs way down.

It's interesting.

And, hey, I -- what a fascinating technology.

Mm-hmm. It is, yeah.

I'll look into it.

Fred... -Yes.

-...Bill... -Mm-hmm.

...nice meeting you.

-Nice meeting you. -Pleasure.

Yeah. Man: Thank you.

Oh, uh, yeah. [Chuckles] Thank you very much.

Thanks, guys. Great. I'll see you in the lobby.

-Okay. -Beautiful. Okay.

All right. [Men chuckle]

Yeah, we'll see you back there.

-Yeah. -All right.

-Cool. -Well...

[Door closes]

...all right. [Sighs]

Well, give it to me straight.

I got to manage my expectations here.

Well, um, it's intriguing.

Mm. [Sighs]

What are you looking for out of this, Bos?

I mean, do you really want to be the exec at a startup?

I-I'm just looking for a finder's fee, you know?

I like connecting people. And I like these guys.

And just -- I'm the market for this kind of thing.

You know?

There's a lot of other salty sailors out there just like me.

Okay. Well, you know, I'll look into it.

Again, uh, what a technology.

[Telephone ringing]

[Sighs] Well, th-thanks for having us in.

Thanks. Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

♪♪

Hey, you, me, and Diane are overdue for a dinner.

We should do that soon.

We should. Let's do.

♪♪

Let's do.

[Door opens]

Okay.

Okay, I found it.

David was visited by an exact vision of death:

a long hole in the ground, no wider than your body,

down which you are drawn while the white faces above recede.

You try to reach for them, but your arms are pinned.

Shovels pour dirt into your face.

There you will be forever, in an upright position,

blind and silent,

and in time no one will remember you,

and you will never be called.

As strata of rock shift, your fingers elongate,

your teeth are distended sideways

in a great underground grimace

indistinguishable from a strip of chalk.

And the earth tumbles on, and the sun expires,

and unaltering darkness reigns

[through telephone] where once there were stars.

Jesus...

But that's not the end of the story.

This kid -- his grandmother tells him to go shoot all the pigeons in the barn.

And it makes him think about death, and he has this crisis of faith.

A-And nobody reassures him.

He is...surrounded by this non-belief.

It's like a conspiracy, and he's just wising up to it.

But he still has to shoot all these pigeons.

And he does, he just shoots the hell out of them.

And he picks up a dead pigeon, and he stares at it.

And it's actually gorgeous.

And he decides right then and there that no God who would give so much beauty to such a worthless creature would fail to let him live forever.

Like his faith is restored.

Is that what you believe?

I just -- I don't know.

I guess I...

I hope there's something more.

Huh.

"Huh" what?

Just weird. I never thought about you as the kind of guy who needed "more."

All right.

What do you believe?

Um, well...

I saw this shrine in Japan.

And, uh, the locals tear it down, right to the foundation, every 20 years.

And then they build it right back up again, back to its original state.

And they've been doing this for 1,300 years.

Nothing in it's original anymore, but it still looks identical to the day it went up.

That's beautiful.

Well, no.

I mean, I don't think these people are doing it for some spiritual reason.

I think they're doing it because they're holding onto the process of it, you know?

The doing of it, that that's all that matters.

That's what I think.

I don't know.

I've been trying to find some solace in that lately.

How's that working out for you?

Not that great, Joe, but thanks for asking.

Um, I'm sorry.

That was -- That was unfair.

[Chuckling] Yeah, it was.

Look, I'm forty-five.

I've got no family. I work in a basement.

People aren't exactly lining up for my spiritual guidance.

Is that what this is about?

What?

Well, you said you didn't have a family.

You don't want one, do you?

[Sighs]

[Horn honks]

My dad died last spring.

Oh, God, Joe.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

And you know what this is like, but...

You just start to think about everything.

And when I was -- when I was fifteen,

I made this vow that I would never have kids.

All because of him.

He was just...huge and...imposing.

You know you're huge and imposing, right?

He made me feel small.

Like I was... less than nothing.

And I never wanted to risk doing that to a child.

Uh...

And then he died.

And -- And I'm, like, there at his funeral.

And there's hardly anyone else there.

And he felt like the small one all of a sudden.

And that made you want to have a family?

It made me realize that we are different people... and, um... maybe I would have been better.

♪♪

You ever think about kids?

[Sighing] Yeah.

I just, um, sprung it on Tom one day.

Didn't even really think about it.

Just [chuckles] "Let's start a family."

Such a stupid thing to say to someone if you're not ready for them to take it seriously.

And he did.

Oh, I mean, he lit up.

I've never seen someone so happy.

♪♪

And so we, uh, started trying.

[Swallows] And it didn't work.

And I was relieved. [Laughs]

I was relieved that Mother Nature made a decision for me that I was too spineless to make for myself.

And I realized I was just going through with it because I didn't want to disappoint him again.

♪♪

Sorry. I shouldn't...have said that.

You know, it is so good to actually talk to you.

[Chuckling] Yeah.

♪♪

You too.

[Door opens]

[Diane sighs] I think it's gonna take a while for me to get used to that.

I mean, come on. "Aggek"? What is that?

It sounds like a painful hiccup.

It does kind of remind me of pond scum.

Oh, God, Trip makes my blood boil, even just his name.

[Mockingly] "Trip Kisker."

Elias does like him, though.

He's a star. [Sighs]

Look, if we're gonna position you to take over the mantle once I'm gone, a little diplomacy with the new star pupil won't hurt.

[Elevator dings] [Clears throat]

So, how was it?

Be honest.

Oh, well [sighs] it's a promising arena.

But I think they're too late.

There's a lot of muscle in GPS already, and retail is tricky.

But I can do some more digging, maybe order up an analysis.

No.

I think John could care less about GPS.

He's just restless and looking for something to do.

"Aggek."

It's the cry you hear when you step on a tiny lizard.

[Laughs]

Hey, we can still talk trash about Trip behind his back, right?

Let's circle back on that later. Oh, really?

I think now's the perfect time to drill down on it.

I always prefer to drill down

[chuckling] after I'm circling back. [Laughs]

[Indistinct conversations] Curtis.

Shep: Yeah, well, I'm pulling software guys to handle support calls.

[Woman speaking indistinctly through telephone] And we've already had some cancellations.

Well, call me back when you do have an answer.

[Receiver clicks] Okay, please tell me you've talked to somebody from MCI.

Yeah, we did. I just did.

Uh, Barry Schnellham? Schnell-ham.

Okay. Well, who the hell is Barry Shhhnellham?

Uh, Barry Schnellham is...

Interim manager of enterprise solution outreach.

They're gonna wait out the clock and then squeeze us until we cave on a huge rate hike for more pipe!

[Sighs] [Indistinct shouting]

What...?

[Shouting continues]

Oh, it looks like customer service...

[Telephone rings] ...just face-planted again.

Barry Shhhnellham?

Barry Schnellham? Listen to me, Shep.

You get on the phone right now and you tell Barry Schnellham if I don't have Jon Volpi on the line in the next five minutes,

I'm personally gonna drive down to MCI and put my Goddamn face through his Goddamn fist!

[Shouting continues]

[Telephones ringing]

Cameron: [Through telephone] How is he?

He's great. CalNect is really successful.

The ISP sector is growing like crazy. No, no, no, no, no.

How is he?

Oh.

Uh, I think he's fine.

He doesn't talk about it much.

It must be so scary.

I mean, h-he's, uh -- he's really, really happy. [Sighs]

Or at least he was.

Until I told him about my new web idea.

Which is?

So, imagine, like, um, a website of websites, uh, a curated index that takes you wherever you want to go.

Like the yellow pages?

No, it's -- it's so much more than that.

It's like a -- It's a portal... [Knock on door]

Wait. Wait. One second, one second. ...is what I'm thinking about --

Okay.

Cameron, hey. Hi.

Uh, your phone's been tied up all day.

Yeah, sorry. [Indistinct conversation]

Um, you have a sec?

We need to talk.

[Through telephone] Nobody at Atari wants to push forward on a product that isn't perfectly calibrated.

So we've decided to push back for a time.

How much time?

Indefinitely.

Also, we're gonna, uh, need a quote... tonight.

Yeah, uh, I'll, uh...

♪♪

[Thud through telephone

♪♪

[Exhales slowly]

Joe: Hey, Cameron.

[Breathes deeply]

[Voice breaking] Hey.

Um...they're, uh...

They're gonna delay my game.

Like, um... indefinitely.

[Sighs]

Uh, they need some press-release quote from me, so I -- I should probably go.

I can write it.

Let me help you.

[Laughter] [Cork pops]

Yeah, well, we can to talk about it more.

Trip: So then Judy barges in room, right? Yeah, yeah. [Laughs]

Completely unexpected.

Knocks over the glass and completely ruins my rug.

[Chuckles] Man: Ohh.

[Laughter] Like that.

Exactly -- exactly like that.

[Laughter]

Okay, time to address the over-educated elephant in the room.

[Light laughter]

A formal welcome to our new general partner --

Colton Marshall Kisker III.

[Clears throat]

We were certainly lucky to nab you from Sequoia last year.

And the JoyRide IPO -- 22x.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

[Glasses clinking] Cheers.

Mm.

I've got a lot to say, but I don't want to ruin good champagne with bad rambling, so...

[Laughter] Great.

Trip: I'm honored.

I'm humbled.

And I'm ready.

I am.

I'm ready to really drill down on monetizing my portfolio while simultaneously cultivating new and promising ventures that provide big exits, with LP's clamoring to sign subscription docs.

So, thank you, one and all.

[Glasses clink] Thank you.

Elias: All right, fun's over. Back to business.

-Yeah. Let's do it. -Come on.

SparqPlug's Series B term sheet draft is available for the curious.

Joyce, can you send around the target for PulseMD?

Got it.

And Millennium is a write-down.

Let's take a knee on the web for now, yes?

Actually, no.

Uh, Rover is repurposing their software for a web play.

They're getting set up in the Incubator now.

And you're still on point, Donna?

I made Tanya Reese associate.

She'll take lead and have an update by end of day.

Um, just to throw out a quick suggestion --

Rover has enough runway to rework their core technology and index the entire web, make it searchable.

It's low-risk, high-reward.

Uh, sorry, I'm -- I'm just getting caught up on the particulars, but seeing as the web is rocky territory, is -- is jumping back into browsers maybe something --

Rover isn't developing a browser.

It's indexing the web.

The whole thing. [Chuckles]

Uh, could -- could we circle back for a second and drill down on leadership?

So, Tanya Reese was an assistant of yours until today?

We're all aware of that fact, Trip.

Absolutely.

I'm just -- just getting up on my skis here, but, um, does she have a web background or any managerial experience specific to this play?

Tanya sat on my desk for two years.

She's been involved in numerous deals and consequential in the success of more than a few.

Not to mention the fact that she pulled Rover off the slush pile to begin with, so...

Gilson: Just, um, talking while I'm thinking, uh, but since the web is frontierland, would it be the worst idea to bring in an outside consultant?

I think Tanya is perfectly capable of handling the challenge --

Elias: I bet Joey Winchester'd be happy to come in.

You know who's available is Michael Hottendorf.

Trip: Cass Reinhardt just exited Sequoia three months ago... Ooh.

...and he would hit this out of the park.

-Cass -- -You know what?

If that's what Rover needs,

I have the perfect person in mind.

Let me just, uh, make a phone call, and I'll report back.

♪♪

Elias: Hmm, okay, moving on,

QwellX's missed its quarter by a bit.

Livermore Three can take about two percent of our load.

Oh, that's a drop in the bucket -- we're getting hit in the face with a fire hose.

[Bosworth laughs]

It's like a Greyhound bus station in here, Gordon.

Hey, Bos, what are you doing here?

I don't know. I just thought I'd stop by.

We didn't get much of a chance to catch up on your birthday.

[Indistinct shouting]

Hey, step into my office.

[Chuckling] Okay.

Looks like you could use a break.

[Shouting continues]

Hey, sweetie, can you give us a sec?

Ma'am.

Well, pretty, young secretary you got there.

[Door closes] Yeah.

[Chuckles]

I thought the ISP business supposed to be easy-breezy.

People running around out there like their balls are on fire.

Well, you know, we're, um, we're going through a couple hiccups today.

Yeah, I remember days like that -- the old bucket brigade routine.

By God, it makes you feel alive, though.

[Chuckling] Doesn't it, Gordon?

Doesn't it? [Chuckles nervously]

Them blue -- Them blue men were something, huh?

-Yeah. -Their drummin'?

All their, uh -- their blue? Hey, listen, uh, Bos, m-maybe today's not a good time.

Can we grab a drink in a few days or something?

Yeah, yeah, but -- um, hey, uh...

[Snaps fingers] Gordon,

I need to, uh -- I need to borrow some money.

Diane and I were looking to invest in this housing development.

She lost interest. And I didn't.

Uh, so I put up my own money, uh, without telling her.

[Chuckling] And then I went in whole hog.

So, you know, I-I put good money after bad and bad money after worse, and before you --

Well, now I'm in the drink.

First bank note's due in a week.

All right, well, I mean, why don't you ask Diane?

I mean, she's your wife.

W-Well, she's not my wife.

I'm not a kept man. I got alimony to pay.

I'm paying down college loans for the kids.

I...

I sold my boat to pay this thing down.

You sold your boat, Bos?

Well, I mean, how short are you?

Eighteen thousand... for the first payment.

Bos...

Well, wh-why are you coming to me?

Well, now, don't worry, I'm -- I'm good for it. I'm good for it.

No, I got this -- this GPS thing that I'm working on.

And then I got, uh --

Oh, God, I got so much stuff in the hopper right now, really.

I mean, I'm -- I'm just -- I'm just cash-shy, just a little cash-shy.

So I figured you had a --

You figured that... since I hired the Blue Man Group that I must have cash just falling out of my pockets?

Look, Bos, look, I'd give you the money in a heartbeat.

But you live with Diane, who works with my ex-wife.

And who has more money than all of us combined, all right?

I can't get in the middle of that.

Okay? You're gonna have to ask her.

[Sighs]

I...

That'd be the end of us.

Things are choppy at home.

I mean, but Diane's it for me.

She's got to be.

Look, Bos, I-I-I got to get back out there right now.

I can't...

[Softly] All right.

[Indistinct conversations]

It wasn't all about the money.

[Telephone rings]

You don't know what it's like being retired.

Hell, you just turned forty.

You got a dozen more tricks up your sleeve no matter what.

I'm sixty-five.

♪♪

This can't be my last thing.

♪♪

You're gonna have to ask her, Bos.

[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

♪♪

[Door opens, closes]

♪♪

[Mouse clicking]

♪♪

[Coin clinking]

[Rattling]

[Door creaks]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Wrapper rustling]

Gordon: Haley!

[Indistinct conversations]

Come here.

Come here.

[Door closes]

[Mouse clicking]

[Door opens]

Wh-What is this?

Oh, well, I just took a little break to make something. [Door closes]

And I'll keep checking for broken sites, but --

No, no, no. It's fine.

Haley, th-that drawing is awesome.

It's because it's Halley's Comet?

Because I'm Haley?

Is that lame?

No, Bug, that's -- i-it's not lame at all.

[Mouse clicking]

You -- You like Richard Pryor?

Well, yeah, he's the best.

Haley, I had no idea that you could do all this.

Well, markup language is pretty easy.

Not like it's C++ or anything.

That pony is dressed like a little pink cowboy.

It's actually a miniature horse. So it's way cooler.

Ah.

[Mouse clicking]

[Telephone rings]

This is --

Jon Volpi. On the phone.

All right, Shep.

Is rad.

-"Rad"? -Rad.

This is...rad, yes.

[Chuckles]

[Scraping] Joe: [Through telephone] You ready?

Cameron: Yes. Go ahead.

Okay, okay, okay.

"A game of this scope can't be rushed.

The Atari team and I have forged a fruitful working relationship that will continue to deliver the engrossing gaming experience...

[Blows] ...our fans demand and deserve.

I am gratified by Atari's commitment to the title and look forward to our ongoing collaboration.

In addition, I firmly deny that I have an urgent desire to scalp Gavin Greene, scoop out his brain, and shit in his empty skull.

[Laughs]

Yes!

I think we should send it.

I mean, minus the, uh -- the last part, unfortunately.

Listen, I know -- I know it's hard to swallow this right now, but you are so good at what you do.

[Chuckles] Joe --

No, really.

Don't let that asshole take that away from you.

He's a parasite. You create.

You make something out of nothing, and I have always been in awe of that.

And not to ruin the moment, but I really, really got to piss.

Oh, my God, me too. Okay.

[Receiver rattles]

Yes, Jon, we understand that part, okay, but our trunk lines are totally clogged over here.

Now, we had a contract that specifically --

Jon Volpi: [Over speakerphone] And we'll uphold that contract... but that contract doesn't explicitly codify expansion.

Uh, Jon, Shep Gramaticus, here, VP of Ops.

Uh, if this is a rate issue, let's talk rates.

We want to engage.

It's crowded out there, Shep.

Only so much bandwidth in the ISP market.

Can't really say there's pipe just laying around for you.

Look, we get it.

We'll break our rate lock. No.

Look, Jon, just level with us, all right?

What do we got to pay?

Guys, I'm afraid you're not hearing what I'm saying.

There is no more pipe. For you. Period.

And if you gentlemen need anything else,

Barry Schnellham is your guy.

Take care, now. [Line disconnects]

Man #1: Are we an ISP with no backbone?

Man #2: We're already hemorrhaging customers.

Be dead before we switch providers.

Man #3: Can they do this?

Why are they freezing us out?

[Gordon sighs]

[Shakily] They're starting their own ISP.

Oh, my God.

Shep: We need to retain outside counsel.

[Sighs] They can't do this.

They're a public utility.

They cannot pick winners and losers.

Man #1: [Muffled] We got to do something.

[Muffled] What? [Sighs]

Gordon...?

[Muffled speaking]

Gordon?

♪♪

♪♪

[Insects chirping] Joe: Does this qualify as drinking alone?

Cameron: [Chuckles through telephone] It does.

[Swallows]

Mmm! [Chuckles]

[Bottle thuds]

Oh, do you see that?

What? [Gasps] The moon.

Look out your window.

No.

I think the hill is blocking it.

Ohh.

That's too bad. It's so beautiful from here.

[Chirping continues]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Knock on door]

♪♪

[Door opens]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

You missed the moon.

♪♪

Oh, well.

[Donna sighs]

Southeast Asian today -- pineapple, lemongrass, and mint.

Thank you.

Tanya, stay a sec.

I, uh...

There's been a slight change.

[Elevator dings]

[Indistinct conversations]

Bosworth: I kid you not.

We come up through that little trailer I was telling you about.

We go through the woods, naked as a jaybird, playing a banjo.

[Laughter] [Chuckling] I kid you not!

It really happened, the son of a --

Hey there, Tanya. How are you?

I'm just getting acquainted with these numbnuts here.

Good to see you, John.

Should we get started?

Sure.

Here's a list of short- to mid-term goals, up for discussion, of course... Of course.

...aiming at a product that we want to deliver within the next couple of weeks.

[Playing over speaker] ♪ This bed is on fire ♪ [Door bells jingle]

♪ With passionate love ♪ [Indistinct conversations]

♪ The neighbors complain about the noises above ♪ [Door bells jingle]

♪ But she only comes when she's on top ♪ [Door bells jingle]

[Instrumental break]

[Door bells jingle]

[Music continues]

Here you go.

♪ Lai-i-i-i...♪

[Exhales]

♪...i-i-i-i-id ♪

So, do you know what you want?

[Music continues]

♪♪