Home > Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

The Astronomers in Turtlenecks

-[crickets chirping] -[pig snoring]

[pig squeals]

[gasps]

[Jamack] OK, I'll sweeten the offer.

You go free, and your people never learn it was you who betrayed them.

-[laughing] -[Mega Bunny growls]

You need to do some soul-searching.

Huh? W-What?

[screams]

Don't wrinkle the suit! Aah-aaah!

-[breathing deeply] -[rustling]

[gasps]

[grunts]

[exhales]

[giggling hysterically]

-Hmm? [distant chatter]

-[clears throat] -[ribbits]

Aaaaah!

["Ten million and two" by Yvonne Devaney playing]

Ehhh.

[ribbits]

[ribbits]

[thunder crashes]

[cawing]

[wind whooshing]

Uhhh.

[groans]

You need to do some soul-searching.

Argh!

Burrow girl!

Ahh!

-So, Benson, where are you taking us? -Kipo...

Come on! We've been walking for forever.

I know you said it was a surprise. But what if I guessed?

I've got it! You're taking us to a mystical blind woman who lives in the trunk of a spooky old tree and doesn't need eyes because what she can see is the future.

OK, first of all, it's been an hour. And second, what?!

She's not gonna stop. Just tell us.

Look, if there's one thing I've learned in all my time on the surface, it's that you gotta enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

So, everyone shut up and enjoy the journey!

[exhales]

Sorry. We haven't eaten in a while, and my blood sugar is crashing.

See, this is why I don't have blood.

[Kipo whines]

So, this Scarlemagne, what does he want with my people anyway?

Who knows?

If he's using mind control on a Mega Mute, I guess he could try to use it on them.

I've heard that he is a Mega Mute, and he uses his mind control to make people walk right into his mouth.

What?! I don't want my dad to walk into a mouth!

Nobody's walking into anyone's mouth.

Aha! We're here.

[leaves rustling]

You coming?

[Dave grunts]

Conven-yen-ché. I believe it's Italian for "snacks."

Which I need right now, or I'm gonna pass out.

[gasps]

Oh, no, no, no.

No!

This was my secret spot!

[munching]

[gasps, grunts]

Aaah.

-It's OK, Benson. -Is it?!

-It isn't. -Wolf!

Do you even have a plan?

Because this clearly isn't helping anybody.

Fine. You don't trust me? The old observatory.

It's got a giant telescope that can see the whole city.

If your people are out here, we'll spot 'em.

-We're not going near that place. -What? Why?

Benson, why don't you tell her?

[nervous chuckle] Well, technically, the observatory is Newton Wolves territory.

-Which is bad? -Nah.

They just look at stars and talk about math all day.

-They're a bunch of dweebs. -[Wolf] They're dangerous!

Wolves are predators. Every one of them.

Yikes! Sounds like someone's still mad at the wolf she's wearing.

Ohh!

That telescope could be the only way I find my people.

If there's a chance, I have to take it. Please.

-If we do this, we need a plan. -Yes! We're doing it!

I mean, we're planning it.

[gasps] Yeah!

[Wolf] Wolves hunt isolated prey.

If we wanna survive this, we need to think like a pack and act like a pack.

-We need to be a pack. -Got it.

-Yup. -[Mandu squeals]

Pack rule number one: Move in unison or die.

-[all cry out] -Whoa!

[thud]

Pack rule number two: Listen to each other.

OK, pig. One squeal means jump, two is duck.

Huh?

-[Mandu squealing] -Ow!

[grunting]

Pack rule number three: No matter what, watch each other's backs.

Guys, I found a single apple.

-Uh-- Uh-- What?! -[Kipo grunts]

And, finally, pack rule number four: Follow your alpha.

An alpha leads and speaks for the pack.

The Newton Wolves will only address our alpha.

That's just how wolves work.

And... our alpha is you?

No, Kipo. It's you.

Why isn't it me? I'm the oldest and best-looking.

I'm a born leader.

No offense, Dave, but you're a pea-brain.

These wolves are nerds. And Kipo is, well, a really big nerd.

-Aw, thanks. -Uh, offense taken.

We need to be worth more than food.

These wolves need to believe we have knowledge to offer.

Kipo knows all about stars and galleries--

-Galaxies. -Ha! Nerd.

She'll keep them talking. They'll let us stay for the night, and we'll sneak off to the telescope once they fall asleep.

Can't we just ask?

This sounds like it involves a lot of waiting, and my people could be miles away by then.

Or inside a mute's mouth.

You think they'll be your friends, but wolves aren't like other mutes.

-Get it? -Aren't you forgetting something?

Like your choice of wardrobe, maybe?

No. No way.

He's got a point.

The poisonous staff and, uh, the dead wolf on your back might send the wrong message. Heh.

Then I won't go.

You have a pack. You have us.

[Benson] So hungry.

[Kipo] We shouldn't call you Wolf in front of them, so maybe you could tell us your real name.

Um, yeah. It's Bone Ripper.

Ah, that's a bunch of-- That's actually the coolest name ever.

Come on.

If we're going to be a real pack, you gotta tell us the truth.

[sighs] Why don't you just pick one for me?

Fine. We'll call you Jolene.

Argh. Never mind.

Too late, Jolene.

Ha ha ha! Great name.

[grunting]

Almost there, pack! Let's do this.

Guys? Pack formation.

[Mandu snorting]

[all grunting]

[growling]

[Benson] Oops.

[growling]

-[growling continues] -[Benson whimpering]

Humans, in our territory.

Hmm. I think they're a pack.

[whimpering]

I mean, a very weird pack. But a pack.

They're trespassers. And what do we do with trespassers?

[all howling]

Brother, brother, brother.

Don't be shackled by your instincts.

Remember, we're evolved.

Let knowledge be our prey.

-Let knowledge be our prey! -[coughs] Nerds.

Do you speak for your pack, bug?

-Oh, actually-- -Yep. I'm the alpha of this pack.

And my name is Bone Ripper.

I see. And what exactly is your pack doing on our turf?

We're astronomers. We've come to share our knowledge.

Oh. We're the most learned scholars on earth.

What could you possibly share that we don't already know?

There are one-thousand trillion billion stars in the night sky.

Huh. Kid stuff. Everyone knows that.

Which is ten times more than grains of sand in all the world's deserts and beaches.

But there are even more ways to shuffle a simple deck of cards.

How many, you ask?

Eighty unvigintillion combinations.

-That's eight with 67 zeros. -[all] Whoa!

I thought the bug was the alpha.

-[wolves growling] -Who, Kipo? She's my student.

Taught her everything she knows-- about science and math and all that junk.

Dave, come on. I'm supposed to--

Bad Kipo! Bad!

You know you're not supposed to speak unless spoken to.

-Alpha-ing. Am I right? -[both] Mm-hmm.

This is Jolene. Don't expect her to say much.

She's a real pea-brain.

Of course, thanks to his diminutive size, our alpha's brain is also the size of a pea.

It's true. It's very small. I've seen it.

And this is Benson, my robot that I built, because I'm a genius.

A robot? [sniffs]

Smells quite human to me. [growls]

[robotic voice] Activating demo protocol.

[beatboxing]

Hmm. Impressive.

And what about her?

[squeals]

Mandu? Oh, she's our glorious alpha's wife.

Praise Bone Ripper.

[wolves growling]

[kissing sounds]

[laughing]

[wolf 2] Well, uh, alpha bug.

If your pack has been drawn together by a passion for science, you will find friends here.

-I am Billions. -And I am Billions.

-Billions... -And Billions.

Join us. We can exchange knowledge of the cosmos over dinner.

Yes, I'm quite eager to see what else you have to offer.

-[clank] -[all gasp]

Hi, Orion.

Lil' Dip! What's happenin', Big Dipper?

Hey, look, there's my sign! Aries!

Remember when we saw the real Aries the first night we met?

So, in that way, it's kind of our sign.

[Billions] Newton Wolves! Time for dinner!

Your pack may be seated.

-Move! -[all talking]

Not till your alpha figures out which one of these is the cushiest.

-Shouldn't you sit with your "wife"? -Unhh!

Don't make me turn you off!

[Benson] My bad!

My chair! Come on. Get away!

Hey, it's all right. The plan's working.

They really like us.

Ooh, yes! Beep-boop. I'm starving.

For our guests, our finest fillets.

And for the robot, soup du oil.

Apologies if this isn't optimal for your hardware.

We still have much to learn about robotics.

[whimpers] Beep-boop.

[clanking]

Tonight, we are joined by a pack that shares our love of the cosmos.

And if they can illuminate us with some knowledge of their own, perhaps they'll be invited to our dessert hunt at moonrise.

[all howling]

Yeah, and if they can't, maybe they'll be our dessert hunt.

[laughing]

Hey, Jolene. We got this. Easy peasy.

My dad's probably starving, right now. I hope this is a short meal.

And now, please enjoy our nightly ritual.

A brief presentation on absolutely everything we've learned about the known universe.

♪ All life started, with the Big Bang ♪

♪ An explosion so great From which we all sprang ♪

♪ The universe dispersed mass ♪

♪ Traversing space, time passed ♪

♪ Space expanding mad fast ♪

♪ Stars made of light and gas ♪

♪ Cosmos with billions of stars Gleaming ♪

♪ These are the events That brought us wolves into being ♪

New-ton! New-ton!

-[song continues] -A "big bang"?

These dorks have no idea what they're talking about.

Ooh, let's sneak off and see the telescope while they're distracted.

No, we stick to the plan. We wait until they're asleep.

My dad might not have another night. This is our chance.

♪ Now it's time to break it down ♪

♪ With every kind of star That has ever been classified! ♪

♪ We're talking giants, subgiants, Red giants ♪

♪ Blue giants, Luminous giants ♪

♪ Very luminous supergiants ♪

♪ And less luminous supergiants ♪

♪ Pole star ♪

♪ Neutron star ♪

Just gonna abandon the pack, huh?

-What? That's not... I-- -Just messin' with you.

Alpha says do whatever you want.

-♪ Mos def ♪ -♪ You know what? ♪

New-ton! New-ton! New-ton! New-ton!

♪ Newton Wolves explain ♪

♪ The knowledge we've gained, To wax poetic... ♪

[electrical buzzing]

Oh, my gosh! Is that a Tesla coil?!

[gasps]

No. Focus, Kipo.

You're on a mission.

[hinges creak]

[female voice] Still no sign of the burrow humans.

Scarlemagne won't be pleased.

[male wolf] Why don't we just give him the humans we found today?

-[gasps] -Hold him over until we find the others.

[female wolf] Weren't you listening?

-They're astronomers. -[Flamingo squawks]

Billions and Billions want to compare notes with them.

[male wolf] Ohh. Just send the report, Megan.

[Megan] Ya know what, sometimes I feel like you have no respect for our alphas.

I hope we didn't miss the rap.

The Newton Wolves work for Scarlemagne?

-[weak laughter] -[Kipo gasps]

Wait, where's Kipo?

What? No! No! Where is she?

I told her she could go check out the telescope real quick.

-Are you crazy? -Ow!

Chill out! It's not a problem.

♪ And that's everything we learned About the known universe ♪

[all] The end!

And now, let's hear from our peers. Your turn.

OK, that's a problem.

-[chuckling continues] -Jamack?

Of course. Another cruel joke from the universe.

-What happened to you? -[chuckling]

What happened to me? You happened to me!

I fought and scratched and hopped for everything I had in this world, and in one fell swoop, you just took it all away!

And now, just before I become dessert for a bunch of wolves, you show up to rub it in my face.

-Dessert? -Uh, yeah.

I'm not here to clean the telescope.

You know, my one solace is knowing your people are going down.

You see, you're new around here.

For years, it was chaos-- herd versus pack versus flock-- until Scarlemagne showed us what we have in common: fear.

He feeds on that fear-- and everyone's falling in line.

He's the new game in town, and he wants your people.

I'm not afraid of Scarlemagne.

Me and my friends are a pack. We'll find my people before he does.

[laughing] Oh, yippee!

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had the power of friendship on your side!

[laughs] Your pack?

They'll abandon you at your most vulnerable.

Just like my pack abandoned me.

Wolf...

[grunts]

W-Why would you do that?

It's my turn to do some soul-searching.

Well, don't think this makes us even.

See you around, Burrow Girl.

-[crack] -Unhh!

[Jamack grunting, panting]

-[crack] -Oh, no! [groans]

[Jamack] Stop looking at me!

[grunting, panting]

Almost there.

[grunting]

Ohhh!

-[scream] -[thud]

The Earth is flat! That's just common sense.

Oh, we are so dead.

If it's round, why don't we fall off the bottom?

-This guy gets it. -[wolf] Hmm? Unh-unh-unh.

-[wolves] Boo! -[Dave] I mean, birds fly

-in a straight line, right? -[wolf] No! The Earth is round!

-[wolves razzing, howling] -[Dave continues]

I'm sorry I abandoned the pack... and you.

You were right about these wolves. They're not our friends.

They work for Scarlemagne and--

Dessert has escaped!

-What did you do? -It was Jamack.

-He was chained and-- -You let him go?!

[wolves growling]

Oh, we'll have dessert.

But if not frog, then what will we hunt?

[clank]

[growling continues]

[Wolf] Not them.

They're slow, they're stupid... and they're not a pack.

If you want a real hunt... hunt me.

[hip-hop song playing]

[wolves howling]

[wolves howling]

[panting]

[howling]

-We'll never catch up in time. -We have to try!

She's a part of our pack, whether she wants us or not!

-Come on! -Where are they?

-It's getting dark. -I... I don't know.

Oh, no.

She's trapped. What do we do?

Is that...skin?

Ohh. Gross.

I. Hate. Wolves.

[growling, snarling]

[gasps]

[growling]

She can't see them!

What?

Behind you!

[crying out]

Why are you here?

I ran away so you could escape.

Pack rule number one: Move together.

[whimpers] Can anyone see them?

[Mandu squealing]

[grunting]

Wait! Where are you going?

[Kipo] Duck!

Right!

Left!

[squealing]

[Dave] Ohhhh... unhh!

[squeals]

[squeals twice]

Yeah!

Benson! How's that blood sugar?

Because there's a wolf coming straight at you, waving two juicy apples!

Yaaahhh!

Yaaaahh!

Yaaahhh!

-Yaahhh! -[wolves whimpering]

[panting]

We beat them!

[squeals]

[wind blowing]

[squealing]

[panting]

Hey, it's all right. We're OK now.

We're a pack!

More like a group of people who are pretty good at not dying together.

[Benson spits]

Kipo, how did you see those wolves?

I lived underground for so long, so I'm just used to the dark, I guess?

Guys, we should get to that telescope before these hairy geeks wake up.

It's a dead end. They work for Scarlemagne.

He's been using it to search for my people.

There's only one thing we can do. We have to destroy it.

[Mandu grunting]

A little rare, but I'm into it.

[Kipo grunting]

I'm sorry I didn't trust you about the wolves.

You were right.

You had another pack before us, didn't you?

And they were wolves.

You were raised by wolves.

Yeah. And that's all you ever need to know about it. Trust me.

[exhales] It's about to come down.

You sure you don't wanna take one last look?

See if you can spot your people?

There's no time. I won't put my friends at risk.

-Not again. -Come on. One look.

That's an order from your alpha.

I don't see anything. I'm sorry, Dad.

[Kipo gasps]

Three-point-two-six-two.

Ahh.

-Whoa! -[Kipo] Wait!

[crash]

What was it? What'd you see?

A message!

A message from my dad.

♪ All life started, with the Big Bang ♪

♪ An explosion so great From which we all sprang ♪

♪ The universe dispersed mass ♪

♪ Traversing space time passed ♪

♪ Space expanding mad fast ♪

♪ Stars made of light and gas ♪

[all chanting] New-ton! New-ton!

♪ Now you know our name And you know we train ♪

♪ To wax poetic In lane with superior brain ♪

♪ Evolution's changed Our instincts re-aim ♪

♪ To wax poetic In lane with our superior brain ♪