Home > Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

Ratland

[snoring]

[squeals]

[piano playing]

[laughing]

Allegro! Allegro, my lords and ladies!

Faster!

[vocalizing]

[laughing]

Dance faster!

[laughing]

What's that you say? Even faster?

OK! [laughs]

Play faster!

[squawking]

[snaps]

[grunts]

[all panting]

We have party crashers. How rude.

Oh, the two eggheads.

Have you found my new army yet?

Huh... Scarlemagne's palace, in the real.

I love what you've done with it.

[sniffing]

-Smells like weird perfume in here. -Oh, that?

[snaps finger]

It's a natural fragrance. Made it myself.

Literally, from my own pheromones.

[exhales, panting]

Don't worry, it won't work on you canines. Just primates.

But I only use it on a certain class of primate.

The lesser ones. Even a monkey has his standards.

[laughs] I renamed him Francis.

He just learned the can-can. Show them, darling.

[singing the can-can]

[giggles] Never gets old.

Now, why did you have my flamingos bring you here?

Come on, man. We did rock-paper-scissors.

You tell him why.

Um, so, uh, you remember that telescope that we used to have?

Mm-hmm?

-[grunts] -[squawks]

I've lost my eyes to the city! So, I need new eyes!

Eyes to find the humans who escaped from that burrow!

If there's a human out there, I want it dancing for me by dawn!

[laughing]

[squawking]

[Benson grunts] Three-point-two-six-two.

If your father was gonna leave a message, couldn't it have been something more simple?

Like an arrow?

[Kipo] Then anybody could follow it. No, this is perfect.

It's big enough so he knew I would see it, but only I would know it was a message.

Except, I have no clue what the message is.

But it must mean something to you. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here.

In lightyears, 3.262 is the length of a parsec.

-A what-sec? -Parsec.

It's an astronomical unit. Dad's a bit of a science nerd.

Yeah, we're aware.

It also happens to be my birthday. March 26, at 2:00 am.

That's why it was Dad's favorite number.

And guess what day today is, Mandu?

[squeals]

-Laundry day! -Whoa... Kipo, is today your b-day?

If you mean, did my Dad and I decorate this date in my calendar back home with balloon stickers?

-Yes! -Kipo's first birthday topside.

-Don't know why, but it sounds big. -We should go out!

For a city where nothing's open ever, there's surprisingly a lot to do here.

Ugh, I can't celebrate until we figure out this clue.

[mimics Dad] Kipo, the answer is in front of you. Apply yourself.

[herself] I'm trying, Dad.

You know you made this really difficult to solve.

[mimics Dad] Because challenges build character.

[herself] I don't need any more character.

I just need to find you!

[groans]

Uh, did she just have a whole conversation with herself?

[Wolf grunting]

[both gasping]

Now we're the only ones who know about this clue, and only we can follow it. You're welcome.

There's a word I'm looking for. Uh, what is it?

Overkill!

Parsec. Parsec, parsec.

Just one is nineteen trillion miles.

Ugh, maybe that's how far away my people are.

Ugh, Kipo, you've been at it for hours.

Look, sometimes Dave and I do old crosswords.

And when we get stuck, we put it down and we go away for a little while.

Yeah, and then the answer presents itself. [snores]

So, maybe we pause the clue-cracking. How old are you turning?

-Thirteen. -That's a big deal!

-[grunts] -We have to celebrate!

I'm sure your dad, wherever he is, would want you to take some time to have fun today.

I do love birthdays.

-When's your birthday? -I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know? Everyone knows their birthday.

Not this everyone.

The wolves who raised you never once threw you a party...

Oh... right. You don't talk about them.

Well, guess what, Wolf? We're going to be birthday sisters today.

I'm going to celebrate my first surface birthday, and you're going to celebrate your first birthday!

This is a great idea!

But first, you have to get each other presents.

-Wait, presents? -Of course.

They're the best part of birthdays!

Meet back here when you find something.

By the way, I like things that are purple. And board games!

Good luck!

I get stuck with the two mutes?

-[snorts] -[chuckles]

Great.

Somewhere in here, we'll find Wolf the perfect gift.

Right. Like they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

And, uh, we found ourselves a real treasure heap.

Be honest, do you think they'll be OK out there? My people.

Because everywhere you go, something's trying to capture you, eat you, step on you... [gasps]

Or worse.

Sometimes you see stuff like that around. It's best to ignore it.

How about some tunes?

[upbeat music plays]

Huh. Benson, look!

Wow, that's a treasure, all right. [chuckle]

It is. It's the perfect gift for Wolf.

Mission accomplished. A little sooner than expected.

-Where to now? -There's something I want to show you.

It's my present for you.

Canned cheese? "Made with 12 percent real cheese."

What's the rest of it made of?

Know what? Doesn't matter. I love it!

[laughs] Aw, look at your face.

No, that... that's not it. The real gift is way better. Come on.

[grunting]

Ah-ha! Yes! Look what I found!

Boom! Nailed it. Could be a hat, could be a frisbee.

Kipo loves fashion, hat! Kipo loves fun, frisbee!

-Frisbee? -Yeah, check it out!

Next time you ring the dinner bell, we are done, mute!

From now on, this, this right here, is a mute-free zone.

[snorting]

Oh, yeah? Well, this is a Wolf-free zone.

No Wolfs allowed over here.

-[grunts] D'oh! -I can live with that.

[grunts]

What kind of a gift we looking for, anyway?

[Wolf] I'll know it when I see it.

[Dave] Oh, going with your gut. I like that.

That's how I roll, too.

Hey, trust me. This is gonna be cool.

Oh, wow. It's so festive.

Sometimes, on the surface, there's more than what you see on the surface.

It should be here any second.

[hip-hop music plays]

Your chariot awaits, birthday girl.

So, my friend won't tell me because it's supposed to be a surprise, but where are you taking us?

-[tires screeching] -[screams]

Ah, wall. Wall!

[horn honks]

Bonjour, y'all.

And je m'appelle Amy.

That's French for "My name is Amy!"

Hola and bienvenidos abordo! I'm Brad.

Welcome to Ratland.

See? I told you it would be good!

Not this good.

-[squawking] -[squealing]

Ah-ha! It's perfect!

[squealing]

Not now, pig. I'm busy.

-What'd ya get? -It's a mace. See?

[clattering]

That wasn't the right gift, anyway.

Well, I found the greatest gift of all time.

For me, though. We still have to look for Kipo.

That's it! It's just like the one she liked in Cactustown.

-It's perfect! -Whoo! [laughs]

-We have to give it to her. -Who made you jacket boss?

Fine. Since you found it, you can wear it back.

But then I'm taking it off of you, one way or another.

Long as you don't enter the Wolf-free zone.

What's gotten into you? Is every mute this annoying?

Hey, I take offence to that...

[growls]

Oops.

You are truly useless, mute!

You know what I think?

I think that girl really doesn't like mutes.

Because I am full of uses.

[Amy] Welcome to the Ratland Mute Cruise.

Remember to keep all tails, paws, and wings inside the boat at all times, s'il vous plait.

This place is amazing! How did you even know it was here?

Well, when you live up here long enough, you learn a few things.

Believe it or not, it's not all danger all the time.

In fact, the rats made this a safe zone. All species welcome.

Little known fun fact: easily the best cruise in this part of town, if I don't mind tootin' my own horn.

[horn honking]

Hang on! Looks like a real party down there, Amy!

[gasps]

[exhales]

Careful, you do not want to get downwind of those three when they're excited!

-Whoo! -Oh, Brad! Look out!

Dead ahead! Is that a Mega Pug I see?

[panting]

-[music playing] -[barking]

[Brad] Don't worry, Amy! I think his bark is worse than his height.

These are some of the worst jokes I've ever heard in my life.

-I think I love this ride. -Rats do love cheese!

Oh, man, now I'm doing it, too.

[both laughing]

I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend my birthday.

I really appreciate this.

[upbeat music plays]

[laughing]

Let the riders off first!

Hmph.

-Respect the rules of the park! -[scoffs] Annual pass holders.

You can spot 'em a mile away, they practically live here.

At least they're not chasing us.

In fact, this is the first time we've seen mutes and haven't had to run.

I wasn't kidding about that safe zone. You can relax here.

Stretch your arms. Enjoy the view.

-[Kipo laughing] -Which one's that?

-That one is Arcturus. -How 'bout that one?

Mmm, not a star. That's a planet. It's Mars.

Wow. There's so much up there I don't know about.

-You all right? -Yeah.

Sure about that?

[gasps] Oh, uh, you know, just wish Wolf and Dave were here, too.

[laughs nervously] They're missing out on all the fun.

But, actually, I wanted to get you here alone.

-You did? -Yeah. To see this.

I wanted you to know that not everything on the surface is bad.

That there are places where it's OK. Better than OK!

That there's hope for your people. That's my real present for you.

And I didn't want anybody, not naming names, Wolf, to spoil that for you.

I love our girl, but she's been known to rain down on the occasional parade, so, you know.

I don't know if it's that I'm turning 13, but I feel different right now.

And I just feel like I need to tell you that...

[sighs] I think I like you.

Oh...

Oh! Oh...

[gasps] You don't feel the same.

Oh, no! No, I like you, too. Really, really like you!

You're all kinds of awesome!

But you should know something... [chuckles]

-You like me as a friend. -Yes!

Because... I'm gay.

Oh... [gasps] Oh!

I totally misread your signals.

Is it OK if I curl up into a ball right now?

Thank you, though, for just, uh, I don't know, being you?

OK, that was a really dumb thing to say.

I think I'm just trying to say, I'm glad we're friends.

-[squawking] -Huh?

Kipo, duck!

I've seen that flamingo before. It works for Scarlemagne.

That's bad. Really bad.

I thought you said you said this was a safe zone!

Unfortunately, Scarlemagne does not obey the safe zone.

[squawks]

[both screaming]

[panting]

[straining]

[squawks]

[both grunting]

Roller coaster!

No, Kipo! It's too far a drop. Keep climbing down!

You're taking too long!

[screaming]

[screams]

[screams]

[squawks]

[coughs] Oh, Kipo. Are you OK?

Uh, yeah. I'm fine. I don't know what came over me.

Kipo?

It was like something else was in control.

-Kipo! -[squawking]

Uh, what happened to your arm?

My arm?

[screams] What's wrong with my arm? It's all furry!

Benson, why is my arm all furry?

I know sometimes girls your age go through changes.

Although, that's a pretty big change.

I'm not helping, am I?

[squawks]

Run!

[grunting]

[sighs] We need to find another gift.

We can go back for the hubcap.

I'll consider telling Kipo it's from the both of us.

What was the name of that store where you found it?

I don't know. Parts... something.

Oh! Parts Etc.! Check out my mind, razor-sharp!

Of course!

P-A-R-S-E-C. Parsec.

Dave, you're a genius!

I mean, uh, great job... Well, good job.

Job. Dave. Job.

-I did not follow a word of that. -We're done searching.

We already found Kipo's gift.

-Where's Mandu? -[squealing]

[squawking]

[groans]

It's like realizing you might be useful causes you not to be useful.

-Uh, sure you saw something down here? -You doubt my eyes?

[panting]

I just want this to go away. And it won't!

First things first. We can't stay here.

[squawking]

Humans, wait!

Scarlemagne wants you both to dance for him.

Run!

Respect the rules of the park!

[squawks]

[Amy] Get in!

[Kipo gasps] He's a human.

Benson, do you see that? That's another human!

So, that's what Scarlemagne does with the humans.

No, thanks!

Attention Ratland VIPs, the park will be closing early due to an unforeseen air raid.

Better step on it, Brad!

Before you go, can we ask you to fill out a quick survey rating your experience here at Ratland?

If you could try to forget the whole flamingo rider business we'd really appreciate it.

Please give us a ten. Please give us a ten.

Stop it, Brad, you're gonna make them feel like they have to.

[both] Yes!

[gasps] It's gone now.

What's happening to me?

I don't know, but you saved our lives on that Ferris wheel.

I also grew fur!

I've seen a lot of weird stuff up here, but I've never seen anything like that.

My dad's a scientist, maybe he'll know what's happening...

If we can find him.

Until then, can we keep this to ourselves?

Of course.

Who knew turning 13 could be so epic?

-[snores] -[gasps]

Must've imagined it. Wanna move on?

Yeah, this place is dead anyway.

[squawks]

Who was he calling dead? I'm alive.

Hello? Kipo's dad? You in here?

[grunts] Excuse me, young man. No, excuse me.

What is it? Also, where are we?

It's a ram's head. That's Kipo's birth sign, Aries.

"Kipo, this will help you find the second clover. Love, Dad."

Someone drew a spaghetti on the back.

[Wolf] It's a map, Grandpa.

A map to the second clover.

Which means, Kipo's people have a second burrow.

Oh, my! This is the perfect gift.

Our little butterscotch will be so happy.

She can finally head back underground with her mole-people and forget we ever existed.

I'll always remember her...

[sighs]

[crying]

Shh-shh-shh! All right, let's stop the waterworks.

I missed you too, buddy.

[Wolf] We saw those Flamingo Riders, too.

That may be why Scarlemagne's after your people.

I think he wants to turn them into more of his weird Nobles.

Even my dad?

[snorts]

All right, present time. This is supposed to be our birthday.

[gasps]

Because I noticed whenever you fight, your hair gets in your eyes.

It's, uh, useful. Thanks.

Your turn, birthday twin.

[squeals]

Uh...

Aw, it's from the jacket I liked. I love it.

-[sighs] -[snorts]

Thank you.

Sweet sleeve! One man's trash...

Is another girl's fashion statement!

I don't know about you both, but I am ready to get back to cracking this clue.

Come on. I feel like walking.

It's nice to know it's not always deadly on the surface.

[sighs]

[growling]

What are you looking at?

[groans]

[growls]