Home > Monty Python's Flying Circus
The Light Entertainment War
00:00:01[♪]
00:00:40[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
00:00:50NARRATOR: Taking life as it comes.
00:00:52Sharing the good things and the bad things.
00:00:55Finding laughter and fun wherever they go.
00:00:58It's with these two happy-go-lucky rogues
00:01:01that our story begins.
00:01:03[TIRES SQUEALING]
00:01:05[CRASH]
00:01:08For it is they who were run over by Alex Diamond.
00:01:12International crime-fighter and playboy.
00:01:15Fast-moving, tough-talking
00:01:17and just one of the hundreds of famous people
00:01:19who suffer from lumbago, the endemic disease
00:01:22about which no one knows more
00:01:23than this man, Dr. Emile Konig.
00:01:26Doctor, surgeon, proctologist,
00:01:29and selfless fighter against human suffering
00:01:31whose doorbell was the one above
00:01:33the hero of our story tonight.
00:01:35Rear Admiral Humphrey De Vere.
00:01:37Yes, this is the story
00:01:39of Rear Admiral Humphrey De Vere,
00:01:41or rather, the story of his daughter.
00:01:43For it was her courage, foresight and understanding
00:01:46that enabled us to probe beneath
00:01:48the sophisticated veneer
00:01:49of the Royal Arsenal Women's College, Bagshot,
00:01:52and learn the true history of this man.
00:01:57Len Hanky. Chiropodist, voyeur, hen-teaser.
00:02:02The man of whom the chairman of Fiat once said:
00:02:05[IN ITALIAN]
00:02:08[PHONE RINGS]
00:02:09Si.
00:02:11NARRATOR: Yes, tonight we examine the career of Gino Agnelli.
00:02:13The man who started from nothing
00:02:15to build up one of the greatest firms in Europe.
00:02:17And whose telescope was bought from the shop
00:02:19part-owned by a man who, at the age of 8,
00:02:22stole a penknife from the son
00:02:24of this man's brother's housekeeper's
00:02:26dental hygenist's uncle,
00:02:27the Reverend Charlie "Drooper" Hyper-Squawk Smith.
00:02:31The cleft-palated RAF chaplain
00:02:33who, single-handed, shot down over 500 German chaplains.
00:02:39This is the story of the men who flew with him.
00:02:45It really is.
00:02:52Morning, squadron leader.
00:02:54What ho, Squiffy.
00:02:55How was it?
00:02:57Top-hole. Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father.
00:03:01Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers, and caught his can in the Bertie.
00:03:10Afraid I don't quite follow you, squadron leader.
00:03:14It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy.
00:03:16Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father.
00:03:20Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers, and caught his can in the Bertie.
00:03:30I'm just not understanding banter at all well today.
00:03:33Give us it slower.
00:03:35Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.
00:03:37Hold on, then. Wingco! Yes?
00:03:40Bend an ear to the squadron leader's banter for a sec?
00:03:43Can do. Jolly good.
00:03:44Fire away.
00:03:49Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father.
00:03:53Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers, and caught his can in the Bertie.
00:04:07No, I don't understand that banter at all.
00:04:11Something up with my banter, chaps?
00:04:13[ALARM SOUNDING]
00:04:15Hah. Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir!
00:04:18Grab your egg and fours and let's get the bacon delivered.
00:04:26Do you understand that?
00:04:28No, didn't get a word of it.
00:04:30Sorry, old man, we don't understand your banter.
00:04:32You know, bally ten-penny ones dropping in the custard.
00:04:38Um, Charlie Choppers chucking a handful.
00:04:42No, no, sorry.
00:04:44Say it a bit slower, old chap.
00:04:45Slower banter, sir?
00:04:47Rather.
00:04:48Um, sausage squad up the blue end.
00:04:54No, still don't get it.
00:04:56Um, cabbage crates coming over the briny?
00:05:02ALL: No, no, no.
00:05:06NARRATOR: But by then it was too late.
00:05:07The first cabbage crates hit London on July the 7th.
00:05:11That was just the beginning.
00:05:12Five shillings a dozen?
00:05:14That's ordinary cabbages, is it?
00:05:17And what about the bombs?
00:05:19Good Lord, they are expensive.
00:05:22Sir!
00:05:23Yes, what is it?
00:05:24News from the Western Front, sir.
00:05:26Yes?
00:05:27Big enemy attack at dawn, sir.
00:05:29Yes?
00:05:30Well... the enemy were all wearing little silver halos, sir, and they had fairy wands with big stars on the end and--
00:05:41They what?
00:05:43And they had spiders in matchboxes, sir.
00:05:46Good God. How did our chaps react?
00:05:49Well, they were jolly interested, sir.
00:05:51Some of them--
00:05:52I think it was the 4th Armored Brigade. They--
00:05:54They...
00:05:55Yes?
00:05:57Well, they went and had a look at the spiders, sir.
00:06:00Oh, my God! Well, thank you, Shirley.
00:06:03Sir!
00:06:06Get me the prime minister.
00:06:07Sir!
00:06:08Not that quickly.
00:06:09Sir.
00:06:11Gentlemen, it's now quite apparent that the enemy are not only fighting this war on the cheap, but they're also not taking it seriously.
00:06:19Bastards.
00:06:21First they drop cabbages instead of decent bombs--
00:06:23The crates were probably expensive.
00:06:25Quiet, critic!
00:06:27And now they're doing very silly things in one of the most vital areas of the war.
00:06:31What are we going to do, Shirley?
00:06:33Well, we've got to act fast before it saps morale.
00:06:36We're gonna show these Chinese--
00:06:38Germans.
00:06:39These Germans.
00:06:41We're gonna show them that no British soldier will descend to their level.
00:06:45Anyone found trivializing this war will face the supreme penalty that military law can provide.
00:06:57That was all right, I think?
00:06:59Seemed to go quite well.
00:07:00Sapper Walters, you stand before this court accused of carrying on the war by other than warlike means.
00:07:07To wit, that you did, on April the 16th, 1942, dressed up as a bag of dainties, flick wet towels at the enemy during the important offensive.
00:07:17Well, sir--
00:07:19Shut up.
00:07:20Colonel Fawcett for the prosecution.
00:07:22[CLEARS THROAT]
00:07:24Sir, we all know--
00:07:25Shut up.
00:07:26I'm sorry? Carry on.
00:07:28Sir, we all know the facts of the case.
00:07:30That Sapper Walters, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit, one Lee-Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition valued at 140 pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.
00:07:49Basingstoke? Basingstoke in Hampshire?
00:07:52Uh, no, no, no, sir, no.
00:07:53Oh, I see, carry on.
00:07:55The result of his action was that the enemy--
00:07:57Basingstoke where?
00:07:59Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir.
00:08:01Oh, I see. Carry on.
00:08:04The result of Walters' action was that the enemy received wet patches upon their trousers and in some cases, small, red strawberry marks upon their thighs.
00:08:13I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.
00:08:16It's on the map, sir.
00:08:18What map?
00:08:20The map of Westphalia as used by the army, sir.
00:08:22Well, I've certainly never heard of Basingstoke in Westphalia.
00:08:26It's a municipal borough, 27 miles north-northeast of Southampton.
00:08:30Its chief manufactures--
00:08:31Southampton in Westphalia?
00:08:32Yes, sir. Bricks, clothing.
00:08:34Nearby are remains of Basing House, burned down by Cromwell's cavalry--
00:08:38Who--? Who compiled this map?
00:08:40Cole Porter, sir.
00:08:42Cole Porter, who wrote "Kiss Me, Kate"?
00:08:45No, alas not, sir. This was the Cole Porter who wrote "Anything Goes," sir.
00:08:49I shall seek to prove the man--
00:08:50It's the same one.
00:08:52♪ In olden days A glimpse of stocking ♪
00:08:55I beg your pardon?
00:08:56♪ In olden days A glimpse of stocking ♪
00:08:59♪ Was looked on As something shocking ♪
00:09:01♪ Now heaven knows Anything goes ♪
00:09:05No, this one's, uh, different, sir.
00:09:07How did it go?
00:09:09What, sir?
00:09:10How does your "Anything Goes" go?
00:09:12Can I go home now?
00:09:13Shut up! Come on!
00:09:15Sir, really, I think this is--
00:09:17Come on, how does your "Anything Goes" go?
00:09:19♪ Anything goes in ♪
00:09:22♪ Anything goes out ♪
00:09:25♪ Fish, bananas, old pajamas Mutton, beef and trout ♪
00:09:31♪ Anything goes in-- ♪
00:09:34No, that's not it. Carry on.
00:09:36With respect, I shall prove that the man before you in the dock being in the possession of the following:
00:09:41One pair of army boots, value, 3 pounds 7 and 6, one pair of serge trousers, value, 2 pounds 3 and 6, one pair of gaiters, value, 68 pounds 10 shillings, one--
00:09:51Sixty-eight pounds 10 shillings for a pair of gaiters?
00:09:55They were special gaiters, sir.
00:09:56Special gaiters?
00:09:58Yes, sir, they were made in France, sir.
00:09:59One beret costing 14 shillings--
00:10:00What was special about them?
00:10:03They were made of a special fabric, sir.
00:10:06The buckles were made of empire silver instead of brass.
00:10:09The total value of the uniform was--
00:10:10Why was the accused wearing special gaiters?
00:10:14They were a presentation pair, sir, from the regiment.
00:10:18The total value of the uniform--
00:10:19Why did they present him with a special pair of gaiters?
00:10:23Sir, it seems to me totally irrelevant to the case whether the gaiters were presented to him or not.
00:10:28The court will be able to judge that for themselves.
00:10:30I want to know why the regiment presented the accused with a special pair of gaiters.
00:10:36He used to do things for them, sir.
00:10:38The total value of the uniform--
00:10:39What things?
00:10:42He used to oblige them, sir.
00:10:44The total value--
00:10:45Oblige them?
00:10:47Yes, sir. The total value of the uniform--
00:10:48How did he oblige them?
00:10:50What, sir?
00:10:52How did he oblige them?
00:10:54He, um, he used to make them happy in little ways, sir.
00:11:00The total value of the uniform could--
00:11:01Did he touch them at all?
00:11:03Sir! I submit that this is totally irrelevant.
00:11:06I want to know how he made them happy.
00:11:09He used to ram things up their--!
00:11:11All right! All right!
00:11:13No need to spell it out.
00:11:17What has the accused got to say?
00:11:20What, me?
00:11:21Yes. What have you got to say?
00:11:23What can I say, sir?
00:11:25I mean, how can I encapsulate in mere words my scorn for any military solution?
00:11:30The futility of modern warfare, and the hypocrisy by which contemporary government applies one standard to violence within the community and another to violence perpetrated by one community upon another?
00:11:42I'm sorry, but my client has become pretentious.
00:11:44I will say in his defense--
00:11:46We haven't finished the prosecution!
00:11:47Shut up! I'm in charge of this court. Stand up.
00:11:50Sit down! Go "moo."
00:11:52ALL: Moo.
00:11:54See? Right, now, on with the pixie hats.
00:11:57And order in the skating vicar.
00:12:01And...
00:12:02♪ Anything goes in Anything goes out ♪
00:12:08♪ Fish, bananas, old pajamas Mutton, beef and trout ♪
00:12:14♪ Anything goes in Anything goes out ♪
00:12:20♪ Fish, bananas, old pajamas Mutton, fish and trout ♪
00:12:46ANNOUNCER: Yes! Coming to this cinema soon.
00:12:49The tender, compassionate story
00:12:52of one man's love for another man in drag.
00:12:58[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
00:13:04Thrill to the excitement of a night emission over Germany.
00:13:08When the pilot, Jennifer, has to choose
00:13:10between his secret love for Louis,
00:13:12the hot-bloodedly bisexual navigator,
00:13:15and Andy, the rear gunner,
00:13:17who, though quite assertive with girls,
00:13:19tends to take the submissive role
00:13:21in his relationships with men.
00:13:23And sensational Mexican starlet Rosetta Nixon
00:13:27plays the head of bomber command
00:13:29whose passion for sea birds ends in tragedy.
00:13:32With Ginger
00:13:34as the half-man, half-woman parrot
00:13:36whose unnatural instincts
00:13:37brought forbidden love to the aviary.
00:13:39And Roger as Pip, the half-parrot,
00:13:41half-man, half-woman,
00:13:43three-quarter badger, ex-bigamist,
00:13:45Negro preacher for whom banjo playing was difficult.
00:13:48And he never mastered it, though he took courses
00:13:51and went to banjo college, ah, and everything.
00:13:54Don't miss it! Coming to your cinema soon.
00:13:57Only five minutes from this restaurant.
00:14:02But now...
00:14:05It's...
00:14:09[♪]
00:14:44[♪]
00:15:03Bloody repeats.
00:15:05[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
00:15:06Ahh!
00:15:09Yes. Repeats or war films.
00:15:13It really makes you want to micturate.
00:15:16People on television treat the general public like idiots.
00:15:20Well, we are idiots.
00:15:22Oh, no, we are not!
00:15:24Well, I am.
00:15:25How do you know you're an idiot?
00:15:27Oh, I can show you.
00:15:28How?
00:15:29Look.
00:15:57[WHOOPING]
00:16:05You see, the public are idiots.
00:16:08You might as well just show them the last five miles of the M2.
00:16:11They'd watch it, eh?
00:16:13At last they done been put on something interesting.
00:16:16Oh, most interesting.
00:16:18Our figures show conclusively that these motorways are extremely popular.
00:16:22I mean, last time we showed a repeat of the Leicester Bypass, our ratings gave us 97, 300, 912 and ITV naught.
00:16:33So I do feel that we ought to give
00:16:35B roads their own series.
00:16:37I'm sorry, we just can't give you a bigger budget.
00:16:38Budgie?
00:16:40No, he's left I think.
00:16:41Why not?
00:16:42Well, we're only one slice of the cake, you know.
00:16:44Wouldn't mind a slice of cake.
00:16:45Nice chocolate cake, delicious.
00:16:48I had a budgie once, you know. Lovely little budgie.
00:16:50Amusing little chap. Used to stick his head in a bell.
00:16:53What was his name, now?
00:16:54Uh, Joey? Uh, Xerxes?
00:16:58We could repeat them.
00:16:59Reheat them?
00:17:00No, repeat them.
00:17:02You don't reheat cakes. Not chocolate cakes.
00:17:04What, repeat the cakes?
00:17:06Mr. Heath. What?
00:17:07That was the name of the budgie.
00:17:10Good Lord, the bar's open.
00:17:11Oh, great.
00:17:13Oh, no. No, it isn't.
00:17:15I was looking at the little hand that goes round awfully fast.
00:17:19Blast.
00:17:22I've got it. We can retitle the repeats.
00:17:25What, give them different names?
00:17:27Wouldn't that mean retitling them?
00:17:30Brilliant!
00:17:31Right. All we need is new titles.
00:17:33And they must be damn new.
00:17:35How about Dad's Navy?
00:17:38Good, good, good.
00:17:39Up Your Mother Next Door.
00:17:41Even better.
00:17:42Doctor at Bee.
00:17:44What? [KNOCK ON DOOR]
00:17:46Someone's knocking at the door.
00:17:47Quite like it. Bit long, though, I think.
00:17:49Far too long.
00:17:50I Married Lucy.
00:17:52Hasn't that been done?
00:17:54Oh, yes, a long time ago, though.
00:17:56They'd never remember it.
00:17:57Doctor at Three.
00:17:58[KNOCK ON DOOR]
00:18:00I think someone's knocking at the door.
00:18:01That's even longer.
00:18:03I Married a Tree.
00:18:04And Mother Makes Tree.
00:18:06Doctor at Cake.
00:18:07Look, I'm not absolutely certain, but well, I do rather get the impression there is someone knocking on the door at this very moment.
00:18:14That's ridiculous. Half the program gone.
00:18:16Stop playing games!
00:18:17I Married a Cake.
00:18:19I Married Three Rabbit Jelly Molds.
00:18:24Prefer cake. Especially chocolate cake.
00:18:27MAN: Open the sodding door!
00:18:31No, no. You can't say "sodding" on television. No, no.
00:18:37You're supposed to knock!
00:18:40Sorry, sir, but there's trouble at Studio 5.
00:18:42You're in, uh, Security, are you?
00:18:44Yes, sir.
00:18:46Well, you're not allowed to suggest program titles.
00:18:48It's the World War series in Studio 5.
00:18:51They're not taking it seriously anymore.
00:18:54You're not allowed to suggest program titles.
00:18:56Look!
00:18:59Ahh! Mind me war wound!
00:19:01That's it! That's the one.
00:19:03Very good title. Very good.
00:19:06♪ Fish, bananas, old pajamas ♪
00:19:15God! Bloody World War II series.
00:19:18I hate them.
00:19:21Ooh, always the same, so damn predictable.
00:19:29Depressing, miserable.
00:19:32Day after day after day after day.
00:19:35Oh. Oh, evening star, if only we could have a decent day tomorrow.
00:19:47Oh, this weather's so wretched and awful and filthy and--
00:19:51[SNORING]
00:19:58[RATTLING]
00:20:00What? What? What's going on? What the hell is going--?
00:20:10Now I can't even sleep.
00:20:14[BUZZING]
00:20:19What--? What are they doing?
00:20:25[BUZZING, CLANGING]
00:20:26[GASPS]
00:20:28What was that? What was it? What is going on?
00:20:34Oh, I can't stand it.
00:20:38[NOISE FADES]
00:20:40Oh...
00:20:42[SNORING]
00:20:47[CLOCK RINGING]
00:20:48Oh! All right, that does it. That does it!
00:20:51[GRUMBLING]
00:20:52What a lovely day.
00:20:55Oh, I think I'm gonna just...
00:20:58[YAWNS, SNORES]
00:21:01[AIRPLANE HUMMING]
00:21:02[♪]
00:21:18I say.
00:21:19Yes, Daddy?
00:21:21Croquet hoops look damn pretty this afternoon.
00:21:24Frightfully damn pretty.
00:21:26They're coming along awfully well this year.
00:21:28Yes, better than your Aunt Lavinia's croquet hoops.
00:21:31Oh, dreadful tin things.
00:21:33I did tell her to stick to wood.
00:21:35Yes, you can't beat wood.
00:21:38"Gorn."
00:21:42What's "gorn," dear?
00:21:44Nothing, nothing, I just like the word.
00:21:45It gives me confidence.
00:21:47Gorn. Gorn. It's got a sort of woody quality about it.
00:21:51Gorn. Gorn.
00:21:55Much better than "newspaper" or "litter bin."
00:21:58Oh, frightful words.
00:22:00Perfectly dreadful.
00:22:02Uh, "newspaper," "litter bin." Dreadful tinny sort of words.
00:22:05[SCREAMS]
00:22:07Tin, tin, tin.
00:22:08Oh, dear, don't say "tin" to Rebecca, you know how it upsets her.
00:22:11Sorry, old horse.
00:22:17Sausage.
00:22:18Sausage.
00:22:19There's a good woody sort of word, "sausage."
00:22:22[CHUCKLES] Gorn.
00:22:26Antelope!
00:22:27Where? On the lawn?
00:22:28No, no, Daddy, just the word.
00:22:30Don't want antelope nibbling the hoops.
00:22:33No, no, "antelope." Sort of nice and woody type of thing.
00:22:36Don't think so, Becky, old chap.
00:22:38No, no. "Antelope,"
00:22:40"antelope," tinny sort of word.
00:22:42[SCREAMS] Oh, sorry, old man.
00:22:44Really, Mansfield.
00:22:46Well, she's got to come to terms with these things.
00:22:51Seemly, prodding, vacuum, leap.
00:22:58Ooh, hate "leap."
00:22:59Perfectly dreadful.
00:23:01Sort of PVC sort of word, don't you know.
00:23:03Lower-middle.
00:23:05Bound.
00:23:06Now you're talking.
00:23:08Bound, vole, recidivist.
00:23:12Bit tinny.
00:23:13[SCREAMS]
00:23:15Oh, sorry, Becky, old beast.
00:23:17Oh, dear. I suppose she'll be gorn for a few days now.
00:23:22Caribou.
00:23:24Splendid word!
00:23:25No, dear, nibbling the hoops.
00:23:31Caribou gorn.
00:23:38Intercourse.
00:23:40Later, dear.
00:23:42No, no, no. The word "intercourse."
00:23:44Good and woody. Intercourse.
00:23:49Pert, pert thighs. Botty, botty, botty.
00:23:52Oh, erogenous zone.
00:23:57Oh, concubine. Erogenous zone.
00:24:02Loose woman. Erogenous zone--
00:24:06Oh.
00:24:09Oh, thank you, dear.
00:24:12Uh, you know, it's a funny thing, dear, all the naughty words sound woody.
00:24:16Really, dear?
00:24:18How about "tit"?
00:24:19Oh, dear, I hadn't thought about that.
00:24:22Tit, tit. Oh, that's very tinny, isn't it? Tit, tit.
00:24:25Uh, tinny, tinny, tinny. [SCREAMS]
00:24:29Oh, dear.
00:24:32Ocelot.
00:24:35Wasp.
00:24:38Yowling.
00:24:41Oh, dear, I'm bored.
00:24:43I'd better go and have a bath, I suppose.
00:24:45Oh, really, must you, dear? You've had nine today.
00:24:47All right, I'll sack one of the servants.
00:24:50Simpkins! Nasty, tinny sort of name. Simpkins!
00:24:54I say, mater, cabbage crates coming over the briny.
00:24:59Sorry, dear, don't understand.
00:25:01Uh, cow-catchers creeping up on the conning towers.
00:25:05No, sorry, old sport.
00:25:07Um, caribou nibbling at the croquet hoops.
00:25:09Yes, Mansfield shot one in the antlers.
00:25:12Oh, jolly good show. Is Becca about?
00:25:15No, she's "gorn orff."
00:25:17Oh, what a super woody sort of phrase, "gorn orff."
00:25:21Yes, she's gorn orff because Mansfield said "tin" to her.
00:25:25Oh, what rotten luck.
00:25:26Yeah, well, whole afternoon to kill.
00:25:29Better have a bath, I suppose.
00:25:31Oh, Gervaise, do sing me a song.
00:25:33Oh, okay.
00:25:36Something woody.
00:25:40♪ For she's going to marry Yum Yum ♪
00:25:45Oh, crikey. Old song's finished her off.
00:25:49What's "urp"?
00:25:50Oh, I'm afraid Mrs. Vermin Jones appears to have passed on.
00:25:54Dead, is she? Afraid so.
00:25:56What a blow for her.
00:25:59What I want to know, Mrs. Elizabeth III, is why they show us crap like this when there's bits of the Leicester Bypass what have never been shown. Biscuit?
00:26:09Oh, thank you.
00:26:12[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
00:26:15MAN: Appearing on the M2 were 4,281 Vauxhall Vivas
00:26:202,117 Vauxhall Vivas deluxe--
00:26:28Bloody repeats.
00:26:32Bloody repeats.
00:26:35Repeats or war films. Makes you want to--
00:26:40MAN: Hello and welcome to Show Jumping from--
00:26:42Oh, motocross.
00:26:46--just about to go into a jump-off against the clock.
00:26:49The slight pause is for the stewards
00:26:51who are repairing The Sound of Music.
00:26:53Captain Phillips on Streuth
00:26:55caught one of the nuns at the start of
00:26:57what would've been a fine, clear round.
00:27:00It's a formidable obstacle, this Sound of Music.
00:27:03Eight nuns high, they're ready now and singing.
00:27:07[BELL SOUNDS]
00:27:09And there's the bell.
00:27:11She's got 1.07 seconds to beat,
00:27:14but she needs a clear round to win
00:27:16as she comes towards The Sound of Music--
00:27:18Quite exciting.
00:27:20Beautifully taken. And now she needs
00:27:22to pick up speed for Oklahoma!,
00:27:23but not too much.
00:27:25This is where Alan Jones knocked down poor Jud.
00:27:27You notice how you never actually see the horses jump?
00:27:31Superb. Superb show jumping.
00:27:34She's coming up to the black-and-white minstrel show.
00:27:36Watch this.
00:27:38♪ .--music and dance ♪
00:27:40And she's taken it. She's over the minstrels.
00:27:43She just flicked Leslie Crowther with her tail.
00:27:45The time's good, and now she turns
00:27:47before coming into the final jump.
00:27:49This is a tough one. It's Ben-Hur.
00:27:52Forty-six chariots, 6000 spectators,
00:27:55400 slaves, lions--
00:27:56I bet we don't see this one.
00:28:01We interrupt show jumping to bring you a news flash.
00:28:04The Second World War has now entered a sentimental stage.
00:28:08This morning on the Ardennes front the Germans started spooning at dawn.
00:28:13But the British Fifth Army responded by gazing deep into their eyes, and the Germans are now reported to have gone all coy.
00:28:24♪ When does a dream begin? ♪
00:28:27♪ Does it start with a Goodnight kiss? ♪
00:28:32♪ Is it conceived Or simply achieved? ♪
00:28:37♪ When does a dream begin? ♪
00:28:41♪ When does a dream begin? ♪
00:28:45♪ Is it born In a moment of bliss? ♪
00:28:49♪ Or is it begun When two hearts are one? ♪
00:28:54♪ When does a dream exist? ♪
00:28:59♪ The vision of you Appears somehow ♪
00:29:03♪ Impossible to resist ♪
00:29:08♪ But I'm not Imagining seeing you ♪
00:29:11♪ For who could have Dreamed of this? ♪
00:29:16♪ When does a dream begin? ♪
00:29:21♪ When reality is dismissed? ♪
00:29:26♪ Or does it commence When we lose all pretense? ♪
00:29:32♪ When does a dream begin? ♪