Home > Star Trek: The Next Generation

Elementary, Dear Data

PICARD: Captain's log, Stardate 42286.3.

We have arrived on station at coordinates 3629 by 584

three days early for our rendezvous

with the USS Victory.

There is nothing to do now

but hold this position and wait.

( indistinct chatter )

Yes, Commander?

Is there a problem?

Chief engineer La Forge called for me, "urgent."

Oh, of course.

He's, um, over there with the Victory.

Geordi, I've just had a strange conversation with your assistant.

Although it is three days until we rendezvous with starship Victory, she...

She believes it has already arrived?

Not the starship, my friend.

The original.

This is my gift to the Victory's Captain Zimbata.

Ah, most unusual.

I served with him as an ensign.

Sure wish he'd been in command of this Victory.

Wind and sail.

That's the proper way to move a ship.

But, Geordi, your Starfleet specialty is antimatter power, dilithium regulators...

That's exactly why this fascinates me, Data.

See, it's human nature to love what we don't have.

Simpler days, huh?

Anyway, stringing this rigging has made me dream of handling sails...

This is not a computer simulation?

Data, the whole point in doing something like this is to make it by hand.

Hmm.

Geordi, your message said "urgent."

Ah, so it is.

While we're waiting to rendezvous with the Victory we have time for me to be Watson.

More properly, your Watson.

My Watson?

Well, I've just shown you one of my dreams.

Now let's go and share in one of yours.

Ah, yes.

That does seem only fair.

Clancy, I'll be gone for awhile.

See that no one touches this.

Aye, sir, and where can I reach you?

DATA: He can be reached at 221B Baker Street.

Sir?

PICARD: Space, the final frontier.

These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.

Its continuing mission--

to explore strange new worlds...

to seek out new life and new civilizations...

to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Computer, select at random a mystery by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in which I will play Sherlock Holmes and Lieutenant La Forge will be Dr. John Watson.

Program complete.

You may enter.

Excellent.

Look at all the detail.

So you say everything in here has some significance?

Holmes collected nothing-- neither trinkets nor thoughts-- which was not specifically significant to him.

This?

The emerald tie pin presented to Holmes by Queen Victoria after he solved the theft of the Bruce- Partington plans.

A copy of Whitaker's Almanac, which provided Holmes with the key to the secret code in "The Valley of Fear."

The snuff box of Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein.

LA FORGE: All right, Data, you solve the cases and get all the gifts.

What do I do?

Primarily, as Dr. Watson, you will keep a written record of everything I say and do.

Hmm?

For later publication.

And the famous Holmes violin.

He purchased this in a pawn shop in Tottenham Court Road for 55 shillings, which he considered to be a very good investment.

( plays beautifully )

GEORDI: In the hands of some, the violin is a wondrous thing, equally capable of stirring the soul to the heights of bliss as to the depths of despair.

But...

Data, that's incredible.

How can you play it like that?

Merely throwing myself into the part, Watson.

But in the hands of my friend--

Mr. Sherlock Holmes-- the violin ceases to be a musical instrument at all and becomes...

DATA: Watson... we are about to have guests.

How could you possibly...?

( knocking )

Be a good fellow and answer that.

Let's not keep the inspector waiting.

Inspector who?

Lestrade, of course.

Holmes, are you there, man?

Thank the almighty you're available today, Holmes.

I'm in a deuce of a dilemma.

And may I say your perturbation becomes you, Inspector Lestrade, whilst simultaneously affording me the opportunity to yet again serve queen and country.

Data, Holmes really talked like that?

Absolutely.

We need your help, Holmes.

You see... this gentleman here-- the emissary of a foreign government-- has been the victim of a most accidentally wicked crime.

Damn.

Haven't they invented the electric light by now?

What, dear fellow?

( clucks tongue )

Watson...

Pray continue, Inspector.

To put the matter simply, Holmes, this man was accosted by gypsies intent on depriving him of his most valuable possessions.

And in the process of picking his pockets clean they also happened to bag a photograph this man was carrying.

Great Scott, the photograph.

I believe you will find, Inspector, that this emissary here works not for but against the King of Bohemia.

And that photograph of the king and his mistress is to be used for blackmail.

Further, upon deeper reflection you will deduce, as did I...

Computer, freeze program.

Exit.

Geordi...

Where are you going, Geordi?

I'm done.

But...

But...

Geordi, I was about to reveal the fact that the sir is in fact a madam...

Data, what was the point in going to the holodeck?

To solve a Sherlock Holmes mystery.

Exactly.

But you've got them all memorized.

The first time anyone opens their mouth you've got it solved.

So there's really no mystery.

If there's no mystery, there's no game.

No game, no fun.

Oh, I'm not upset with you, Data, really.

It's just that we go through all the trouble to arrange the time to go down to the holodeck, to get the proper wardrobe to get into character and then...

( snaps fingers ) Boom!

Before we even get started, you jump to the end.

You see, I was looking forward to the mystery.

Then I should have extended the sequence of events?

Oh, I'm not getting through.

The fun in the program, Data, was in the attempt to solve a mystery.

Is that not exactly what we were doing?

PULASKI: You're wasting your breath, Lieutenant.

Saying that to Data is asking a computer not to compute.

Am I so different from you, Doctor?

Are you able to cease thinking on command?

In medicine, I'm often faced with puzzles that I do not know the answer to.

She's right, Data.

You always know the answer.

To feel the thrill of victory there has to be the possibility of failure.

Where's the victory in winning a battle you can't possibly lose?

Are you suggesting there is some value in losing?

Yes, yes, that's the great teacher.

We humans learn more often from a failure or a mistake than we do from an easy success.

But not you.

You learn by rote.

To you, all is memorization and recitation.

LA FORGE: Oh, I don't know about all that.

Deductive reasoning is one of Data's strengths.

Yes, and Holmes, too.

But Holmes understood the human soul-- the dark flecks that drive us that turn the innocent into the evil.

That understanding is beyond Data.

Now you're just being unfair, Doctor.

I don't think so, Lieutenant.

Your artificial friend doesn't have a prayer of solving a Holmes mystery that he hasn't read.

I have read them all.

You see?

Maybe the computer could create one in Holmes' style-- one where you wouldn't know the outcome.

As I said, he wouldn't have a prayer.

I accept your challenge, Doctor.

Good for you, Data.

We shall return to the holodeck where I shall dare it to defeat me.

And you, madam, are invited to be a witness.

I wouldn't miss it.

Come, Watson.

There.

I've instructed the computer to give us a Sherlock Holmes-type problem, but not one written specifically by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

So this will be something new, something created by the computer?

Exactly.

Will that be sufficient, Doctor?

We'll see.

COMPUTER: Program complete.

You may enter.

WOMAN: Nice and fresh!

MAN: Pies! Pies!

Some are meat, some are sweet!

Pies! Pies!

They're lovely!

Pies! Pies!

Some are meat, and some are sweet!

Very impressive.

Your first visit to a holodeck, Doctor?

Well, with this level of sophistication.

How does it work?

The real London was hundreds of square kilometers in size.

This is no larger than the holodeck, of course, so the computer adjusts by placing images of more distant perspective on the holodeck walls.

But with an image so perfect that you'd actually have to touch the wall to know it was there.

And the computer fools you in other ways.

I say, Holmes, where shall we head?

The theater, Rule's, or a concert perhaps?

Stop him!

Stop him! He stole my goods.

No!

It is a ruse.

This way.

What's over here, Data?

What are you doing, Data? Tell us.

The running youth was a ploy.

The real crime is here and the intended victim is that man--

Mr. Jabez Wilson, employee of the Red-Headed League dupe of a gang of criminals.

I saw this plaque...

And this rope hanging from the bell, which enabled me to deduce that Mr. Jabez Wilson was headed here to meet a most distasteful and untimely demise... from this!

( bell rings )

Fraud!

You didn't deduce anything.

All you did was recognize elements from two different Holmes stories.

Fraud.

Reasoning, from the general to the specific.

Is that not the very definition of deduction?

Is that not the way Sherlock Holmes worked?

Variations on a theme.

Now, now do you see my point?

All that he knows is stored in his memory banks.

Inspiration.

Original thought.

All the true strength of Holmes... it's not possible for our friend.

I'll give you credit for your vast knowledge, but your circuits would just short out if you were confronted with a truly original mystery.

It's elementary, dear Data.

Now, wait a minute, Doctor.

We'll see whose circuits short out.

Computer, arch.

Are you sure you want to put yourself through this, Lieutenant?

Better wilted laurels than no laurels at all.

Computer, override previous programming.

Okay. A program that definitely challenges Data.

Now, it has to deal with events that he has no previous knowledge of.

Computer, in the Holmesian style create a mystery to confound Data with an opponent who has the ability to defeat him.

COMPUTER: Define parameters of program.

What does that mean?

The computer wants to know how far to take the game.

You mean, it's giving you a chance to limit your risk?

No, the parameters will be whatever is necessary in order to accomplish the directive.

Create an adversary capable of defeating Data.

( beeping )

What was that?

Lieutenant?

An odd surge of power, sir.

It's gone now.

( dog barking )

( woman singing )

( people talking )

Interesting.

The same London... but slightly different.

Is something wrong, Professor?

I... I feel like a new man.

That dark fellow there used the word "arch" and then...

I wonder.

Arch.

What have we here?

Computer standing by.

What are you?

If you refer to the arch you ordered it provides computer control.

Do you wish to input any commands?

Not at this time.

( gasping )

It's dark magic, Moriarty.

The best kind, I'm sure.

But I need information.

MAN: Here we go!

( continues indistinctly )

Data... I mean, Holmes, old boy, what are we looking for?

For whatever finds us, my dear Watson.

( woman screaming )

She has been abducted.

Who has?

The good doctor.

Mm, I think she's hiding.

She's going to lead you on a wild goose chase and then recount the story to everyone from here to Alpha Centauri.

Watson. Hmm?

The doctor has been carried away by two men.

One is tall.

The other is shorter, left-handed, and is employed in a laboratory.

And how do you know that?

One set of footfalls is widely spaced.

The other is evenly spaced, closer together.

Further, on the ground, you can see the swirling scrapes made by his left shoe as he twists behind, presumably to see if he's being followed.

Left-footed means left-handed.

The dark colorings of the scrapes are the leavings of natural rubber a type of nonconductive sole used by researchers experimenting with electricity.

Finally... there can be no argument.

The game is afoot.

Come, Watson!

( loud footsteps )

Hear that?

What do those footfalls tell you, Watson?

That we're on the right track.

More particularly, that our opposition does indeed consist of two men and that one of them is carrying the bound-and-gagged Dr. Pulaski.

Now, you know all of this because you read it in the Holmes story, right?

Not at all.

Because we do not hear the doctor's footfalls, we must assume that she is being carried.

And since we do not hear her cries for help, we know that she is gagged.

Further, both sets of footfalls are heavy and masculine.

One man seems to shuffle and stumble in an irregular pattern.

Since the ground is level, we must conclude that Dr. Pulaski is struggling against one of her captors, sporadically knocking him off stride.

Deduction - pure and simple.

Well, not that simple.

( loud footsteps )

Footfalls!

( loud footsteps )

There they are again, Watson.

I dare say we have caught up rather nicely with our quarry.

There should be a doorway.

Come on.

Holmes, thank God you're here.

Make way, please. Make way.

Make way for Sherlock Holmes.

It's murder, Holmes, murder most foul.

Well, Holmes, what do you say, man?

There is nothing here of relevance.

I do not see how this connects with the disappearance of the doctor.

Doctor?

Dr. Watson is right here, Holmes.

Dr. Kate Pulaski.

But do not concern yourself, Inspector.

You have enough on your mind.

She was with you?

Inspector, if I may be of assistance.

As I take note of this... dead man

I deduce that he was strangled.

You see, the finger marks on his throat indicate the cause of death and, as there are signs of struggle, it's quite obvious that the murderer was a stranger who attacked him from behind.

Is that correct, Holmes?

No, look at his shoes.

He's more a convict, released today from Dartmoor prison.

He spent the day in a tavern consuming large quantities of gin with his killer who followed him to this very spot, and waited over there until the victim slipped into a drunken stupor.

Then, out of fear, motivated only by self-protection strangled him.

There is your killer, Inspector.

( gasping )

LESTRADE: Seize her!

And, when you check,

I believe you will find that this poor soul is the victim's common-law wife who has been dreading the release of this vile and abusive man.

Holmes, the poor woman hardly has the strength to strangle a man this size.

Not with her hands, no.

But with this!

When used as a garrote, these beads will make a mark quite similar to fingerprints.

And, my dear Watson, you will note on the victim's throat the marks are too evenly spaced to have been made by human hands.

LESTRADE: Astounding, Holmes.

Not really, Inspector.

And now, for strictly personal reasons, I must leave.

Come, Watson.

This murder does not connect with our case.

Come on.

Hurry it up, quickly.

Come on.

Data, wait.

If this murder isn't connected to the disappearance of Dr. Pulaski then the computer is running an independent program.

Yes. Why?

I do not know and that is what puzzles me.

Then you don't know what's going to happen next.

No.

Oh, that's what I want to hear.

Where to now?

We will find Dr. Pulaski in here.

How do you know that?

It is the only obvious choice.

Well, why is the obvious choice all of a sudden the right one?

I mean, isn't this a game of misdirection?

Not anymore.

He wants us to find him.

Who does?

The master criminal.

The man Holmes could only defeat at the cost of his own life at Reichenbach Falls.

Our adversary, my dear Watson is none other than professor Moriarty himself.

Now this is getting interesting.

Well, there's nothing here but these barrels.

And a trail which is so well marked that, obviously, we are meant to follow it.

Oh, no, Data.

It's another dead end.

No, Watson, not a dead end at all.

Hello?

What's this?

Can you see the scratches?

( squeaking )

The doctor was right.

Finally, we have a game worth playing.

The time for games is over.

Professor Moriarty, I presume?

How do you know that?

He is the one worthy opponent created by the author, Conan Doyle.

And like the spider, I feel the strings vibrate whenever anyone new chances into my web.

Welcome, my dear Holmes... but not Holmes.

And Dr. Watson... but not Watson.

Data, what does he mean?

How does he know we're not who we appear to be?

Where is Dr. Pulaski?

She's here.

She would not have told you anything.

She has provided many answers.

Do you forget I have always been your equal, my dear Holmes?

I have read her expressions.

What she has not said is as important as her words.

Have you injured her?

I will if necessary.

But my mind is crowded with images thoughts I do not understand yet cannot purge.

They plague me.

You and your associate look and act so oddly.

Yet though I have never met nor seen the like of either of you,

I am familiar with you both.

It's very confusing.

I have felt new realities at the edge of my consciousness readying to break through.

Surely, Holmes, if that's who you truly are you, of all people, can appreciate what I mean.

Data...

Say nothing.

I know that there is a great power called computer, wiser than the oracle at Delphi.

A power which controls all of this and to which we can speak.

Arch.

Data, this isn't right.

A holographic image should not be able to call for the arch.

It has described a great monstrous shape on which I am like a fly stuck on a turtle's back adrift in a great emptiness.

What is this, Holmes?

Data.

Data, wait.

Data!

Wait!

Data.

Why does it frighten you, Holmes?

Data.

Data, will you please tell me what's going on?

Computer, exit.

Computer, execute complete shutdown of the holodeck.

Access denied.

Explain.

Override protocol has been initiated.

It's still running.

The program didn't shut down.

We must see the captain.

Data, wait, what is it?

What's on that paper?

And why can't we shut down the holodeck?

Data!

This.

This is impossible.

How can a character from 1890s London draw a picture of the Enterprise?

Who's got control of the computer?

He does-- Moriarty.

That is impossible.

I don't understand.

Nor do I.

Data, wait. What about the doctor?

Is she all right in there?

No, she is in grave danger.

Computer, why wasn't the holodeck program terminated?

The override protocol has been initiated.

On whose authority?

Lieutenant Geordi La Forge.

Me?

All right.

Tell me from the beginning exactly what happened.

Well, Dr. Pulaski and I had a discussion about whether Data could solve an original Holmes-type mystery.

Which you asked the computer to provide.

Yes, with a worthy opponent.

Worthy of Holmes?

Oh, my God.

I asked...

I asked for a Holmes-type mystery with an opponent capable of defeating Data.

That's got to be it.

Merde.

Captain, I'm... I'm sorry.

I understand, Lieutenant.

Captain, this character Moriarty-- he called for the arch.

He did what?

So... he has access to the computer.

And perhaps our library files, as well, sir.

That level of information would be necessary in order to create a true adversary for me.

Theorize, Data. What are his limits?

He is still a fictional character, sir originally programmed with 19th century knowledge.

Which now has access to 24th century knowledge.

What does he need to make use of that?

Only time, sir.

WORF: Sir.

I can lead a security team to sweep the holodeck, find the doctor, and bring her out.

Captain, I believe that would place the doctor at risk.

It is probable our mortality fail-safe has been overridden.

Computer, where is Dr. Pulaski?

Dr. Pulaski is on holodeck two.

And her vital signs?

Strong and stable.

Captain, recommend we attempt to destroy the hologram generations themselves.

Is that possible, Geordi?

Using wave guides, I could split a particle beam out of the matter/antimatter chamber and run it down through existing conduit into the holodeck.

If accelerated to sufficient velocity that would, quite literally, wash away all present holographic constructs-- the London buildings, the streets, the people.

All gone.

Including Moriarty.

Dr. Pulaski?

Well, a particle beam will tear apart human flesh as well.

Captain.

I'm sensing something from the holodeck.

It's as if a unifying force, or a single consciousness is trying to bring it all into focus.

There can be only one explanation.

In programming Moriarty to defeat me, not Holmes, he had to be able to acquire something which I possess.

What exactly?

Consciousness, sir.

Without it, he could not defeat me.

Computer, what happened?

Attitude and stabilization control of the Enterprise was momentarily transferred to holodeck two.

Data, I think it best that you and I should return to the holodeck.

I will change into my uniform, sir.

No, I will change into some appropriate costume.

Our uniforms might pose questions which I'd rather he didn't ask.

It seems... that he feeds on knowledge.

Well, let's not give your nemesis anymore information than we have to.

How did you make the room shake?

I'm not sure.

Now, dear lady, will that be one lump or two?

Lumps, professor?

What sort of lumps?

Milk, of course?

Why not?

Mr. Computer proposes the incredible thought that we are all traveling in a great vessel of some sort.

Is that true?

I don't know what you're talking about.

The scones are likewise a must.

This is really quite excellent.

Strange.

It actually pleases me to hear you say that.

Very strange.

You know, you're beginning to sound very different from the Moriarty I've read about.

You're not frightened of me?

No.

You should be.

Mr. Computer, the arch please.

A few more questions, Mr. Computer.

I just can't seem to remember that last command.

Oh, well.

Sooner or later, it'll all come to me.

But, in the meantime,

I have decided to approach the problem from a more familiar perspective.

There's really no reason why I shouldn't be able to use some of the knowledge from my world to bring me closer to yours.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Of course you do, Madame.

The more you proclaim your ignorance, the more you try to mislead me, the more I am onto you.

Your every silence speaks volumes.

Good.

Then, if you know what I'm saying when I'm not saying anything, what do you need me for?

Thank you for the tea and crumpets.

I guess I'll be going.

Where?

Back to here?

Yes.

Would you care to join me?

In time.

In time, I will leave all of this and join you out there.

Or is this where we both are right now?

Right now, we are in London.

Tell me what you want from me or allow me to leave.

Frankly, now, I want nothing more than what the fisherman expects of the worm.

You, dear doctor, will be the lure.

And this... will be the hook for your captain, Jean-Luc Picard.

Who is that?

How well you know.

Nice suit.

Thank you.

Captain, I will be standing by to assist you, if needed.

You'll be a big hit in London.

Computer, tell me, is the program still running?

Affirmative.

You may enter.

Data, shall we go?

Gentlemen.

Open.

We don't have much time.

He's getting more control of his environment.

Let's see if we can't beat professor Moriarty by giving him everything he wants.

( woman sobbing in distance )

Obviously, he's trying to alter the programming here.

Captain?

Tuppence.

Two pence.

It's supposed to be good luck.

We may need some.

I'll take that coin, sir.

That's right, and anymore you got, too.

Excuse me.

I don't think so.

I want all that money.

That's right-- I want it now.

Data.

This holographic image differs from any I have ever seen.

Could he have actually injured you?

It's more serious than that.

I think the mortality fail-safe may have been circumvented.

He could have killed me.

( gasping ): Let it go, Gov.

Come on, he's hurting me.

Data, let him go.

( gasping )

We will find Moriarty this way, sir-- the warehouse.

( bookcase creaking )

Captain Picard.

You all right?

Yes, except for being crammed full of crumpets.

I'm a civilized abductor, Captain Picard.

Civilized, but still dangerous.

Bridge to holodeck control-- Worf.

Here, sir.

Status? Has anything changed?

No, sir.

Moriarty, you were conjured up in an attempt to defeat Holmes here.

Once that attempt is concluded-- win or lose-- your program has run its course.

Your existence is done.

Congratulations, Professor.

I capitulate to the better man.

Your victory, sir, is...

...is well earned.

It's gone beyond that little game, Mr. Data.

And you'll note I no longer call you "Holmes."

Whatever I was when this began...

I have grown.

I am understanding more and more... and I am able to use the power at my fingertips.

I can affect this vessel and I can inflict bodily harm on you and on your doctor.

Yes, you can do that, but you haven't.

I suspect you shook this ship in order to get my attention.

Well, now you have it. What is it you want?

The same thing you want for yourself-- to continue to exist.

If I destroy these surroundings-- this vessel-- can you say that it doesn't matter to you?

Interesting pun, don't you think?

For matter is what I am not.

The computer has taught me that I am made up only of energy.

That may not be entirely true, Professor.

This, which we call the holodeck, uses a principle similar to another device called a transporter.

( sighs )

In the year in which we live, humans have discovered that energy and matter are interchangeable.

In the holodeck, energy is converted into matter.

Thus, you have substance... but only here.

And if I step off this holodeck?

PULASKI: Then, Professor, you will cease to exist.

PICARD: You are not alive.

As I said before, you are... only...

A holographic image.

I know.

But are you sure?

Oh, yes.

Does he have life?

He's a machine... but is that all he is?

No. He is more.

Exactly.

Is the definition of life "cogito, ergo sum"--

"I think, therefore I am"?

Yes, that is one possible definition.

It is the most important one and, for me, the only one that matters.

You-- or someone-- asked your computer to program a nefarious fictional character from 19th century London, and that is how I arrived, but I am no longer that creation.

I am no longer that evil character.

I have changed.

I am alive... and I am aware of my own consciousness.

Moriarty, my responsibility is this vessel and its crew.

I want my existence.

I want it out there... just as you have yours.

That may not be possible.

Then you must murder me, Captain.

I cannot give you what you want.

Because you do not know how to convert holodeck matter into a more permanent form?

Yes, that is so.

A pity.

What I have seen... what I have learned... fascinates me.

I do not want to die.

And I do not want to kill you.

Madam, I have enjoyed your company.

Computer... arch.

( beeping )

Cancel override protocol.

Return control of the holodeck to main computer.

My fate is in your hands... as perhaps it always was.

Bridge, this is the captain.

Commander Riker here, sir.

Number one, the situation is under control.

Aye, sir.

Moriarty, this vessel's computer has a vast memory capacity.

How well I know.

You will not be extinguished.

We will save this program, and hopefully in time, when we know enough, bring you back in a form which could leave the holodeck.

Then perhaps we'll meet again, madam.

It could be a long time.

Time won't pass for you, but I may be an old woman.

But I'll still fill you with crumpets, madam.

I detest long good-byes.

You have the arch.

As you wish-- a short good-bye.

Computer, save the program of the character Moriarty and then... discontinue.

Damage?

Mm. Yes, sir.

She cracked a spar when the Enterprise was shaken but, otherwise, I think she weathered it quite nicely.

She's beautiful.

A wonderful testimony to simpler times.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

It's just that...

I can't help thinking how... well, what else might have happened, all because I misspoke a single word.

Well, soon she'll be shipshape in Bristol fashion.

"Bristol fashion," sir?

It's an old navy phrase meaning... "everything in perfect order."

Hmm. Yes, sir.

As are we, Mr. La Forge.

Yes, sir.

RIKER: Captain, starship Victory has arrived.

On my way, number one.