Home > Star Trek: The Next Generation

The Loss

It's been five months since Marc's accident.

I haven't missed a single hour of my duties.

I've volunteered for extra time in the nursery.

My language studies are better than they've ever been.

Somebody else might have given in but, uh, I didn't.

Given in to what?

Death is a normal part of life.

Maybe some of us are better at facing that than others.

Maybe some of us aren't facing it at all.

What do you mean?

Recovery from a great loss involves a great deal of pain.

If we try to avoid that pain we can make it harder on ourselves in the long run.

But I feel fine.

Today would have been your husband's 38th birthday.

You keep excellent records, Deanna.

Last night, I dreamt Marc was with me, celebrating.

I was so glad that this nonsense was finally over.

Then I woke up alone... and I knew that he was dead.

For the first time, I knew it.

I looked around for anything that belonged to him... anything.

I forgot that after the funeral, I told them to take it all away.

What in the world was I thinking?

They didn't take everything away.

( music box playing )

How did you know?

( sighing )

( sobbing )

...an ancient trail along the Kabul River in the Himalayas.

It's a wonderful program.

Will, it would do you good to have a little fresh holodeck air.

I think my horsemanship is a little rusty for the Himalayas, but thanks anyway.

Nonsense. We'd program an appropriately docile steed...

Captain.

Sensors indicate a vast field of...

Of what, Lieutenant?

It's gone.

But something did appear directly in our path.

ALLENBY: Deflector shields are not encountering elevated levels of interstellar matter.

A sensor echo, Data?

Uncertain. I have no unusual readings, Commander.

I promise I'll come by and see you tomorrow.

Deanna, are you all right?

What? What?

You faded out there for a second.

Oh, no.

No, I'm fine.

Um, I'm just very tired, that's all.

Will I see you tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

Thank you, Deanna.

Oh...

Oh!

( groaning )

An aggregate field of plane-polarized objects has just appeared.

And disappeared.

( groaning )

Recommend we run a diagnostic on the forward sensor array.

We don't want a ghost tailing us all the way to T'lli Beta.

I'm not convinced it is a ghost.

There may be something there, Commander.

Ensign Allenby, full stop.

Aye, sir.

Let's investigate both possibilities.

( panting )

PICARD: Space, the final frontier.

These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.

Its continuing mission--

to explore strange new worlds

to seek out new life and new civilizations

to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Captain's Log, Stardate 44356.9.

Sensor diagnostics have been completed

and indicate that all systems are normal.

There remains no explanation for the images

which appeared in our path.

I have completed another full scan of the area, sir.

There is no further indication of the anomaly.

Ensign, prepare to resume course to T'lli Beta.

Mr. Data, what velocity would put us back on schedule?

A resumption of our present course at warp six will place us in the T'lli Beta system in six days

13 hours, 47 minutes.

What? No seconds?

I have discovered, sir, a certain level of impatience when I calculate a lengthy time interval to the nearest second.

However, if you wish...

No, no. Minutes is fine.

Stand ready at warp six, Ensign.

Aye, sir.

Engage.

( alarms blaring )

Riker to Engineering.

Geordi, what the hell happened?

Checking.

Looks like the field collapsed before we could enter warp.

Recommend full stop while I check it out.

Back to all stop, Ensign.

Aye, sir.

All decks reporting.

Minor injuries only, sir.

Damage?

None, sir.

Weapons and shields normal.

Go to Yellow Alert.

Captain, we've started moving again.

Something is pulling us.

( sighs )

( beeping )

Troi to Dr. Crusher.

Yes, Deanna?

Beverly...

I'm feeling very dizzy.

Did you hit your head?

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure what happened.

Lie down, breathe deeply and stay calm.

I'm getting calls from all over the ship.

I'll be there as quickly as I can.

New heading confirmed: 025 mark 273.

Speed is holding at one-tenth impulse.

Whatever is pulling us sure isn't in a hurry.

Picard to La Forge.

Go ahead, Captain.

Mr. La Forge, if your engines are functioning we'll attempt to break free.

Well, everything down here seems normal enough, sir.

But I suggest we take it a bit slower this time.

Ensign, bring us around 90 degrees to starboard.

New course laid in at 90 degrees to starboard.

One-quarter impulse. Engage.

Aye, sir.

Nothing, Captain.

Speed and course are unaffected.

One-half impulse.

No change.

Full impulse. Rotate heading in five-degree increments.

Aye, sir.

La Forge?

There's nothing wrong down here.

The engines are fine.

Integrity field stress exceeding

82 million kilodynes.

Recommend immediate shutdown, sir.

Make it so, Ensign.

All engines down.

We're still being pulled.

Same heading, same speed.

I got here as quickly as I could.

I've got a Sick Bay filled with headaches.

How are you?

Well, when I first called you

I was feeling intense pain.

Now it's gone but I'm feeling a bit foggy.

I'd like to take you to Sick Bay and run an inner nuncial series on you. Can you walk?

RIKER: All senior staff report to the observation lounge.

Are you up to that?

I think so.

What is it?

Nothing.

Nothing. I'm fine.

Could it be some sort of tractor beam?

No other ship is indicated.

Mr. Worf, what is your analysis?

Tactical sensor readings are indeterminate.

They don't even give us enough for an educated guess.

And yet all of our sensors are operating properly.

Can there be an intelligence at work here?

Counselor, do you sense a life-form out there?

No, I don't think so.

No.

There's nothing.

Nothing.

I sense nothing.

It's all right, Counselor.

Perhaps there's nothing out there to sense.

DATA: Indeed, there are many races that are not empathically detectable.

The Breen, the Ferengi...

No, you don't understand.

I don't sense anything not out there, not in here.

All of you you're all blank to me.

There's no indication of a concussion or a blow to the head.

Just a pattern of unresponsive neural cells throughout the cerebellum and cerebral cortex.

Unresponsive?

There's brain damage.

How serious, I can't tell yet.

But I feel perfectly fine otherwise.

Can you treat it?

I'm not sure.

I have to review the database on Betazoid neural physiology.

The Betazoid brain has a remarkable ability to heal itself.

This condition could just reverse itself in time.

It might, but you are half-human.

That changes the map a little.

I don't want to offer you any false hopes.

It's just hope, Beverly, not false hope.

What would cause something like this?

Because it started at the same time that we encountered the anomaly.

There may be a connection. I don't know.

If you were anyone else you know the first thing I'd do?

I'd send you to Counselor Troi.

Well, then I have an advantage, don't I?

I see her quite often.

Deanna, it's no different than one of us suddenly going blind.

You don't have to tell me, Beverly.

I understand the psychology.

You may understand it but you've never had to live with it.

I may be perfectly fine tomorrow.

And you may not.

Now, I'll do my homework.

I'll see what I can do to regenerate those cells but in the meantime, I want you to talk with someone.

There are several people onboard who have degrees in psychology who are qualified therapists.

Okay. Fine.

If I need to.

Right now, I just want to go back to work.

Deanna...

If there are no medical objections?

No medical objections.

Thank you, Beverly.

Will.

( door chimes )

Come in.

I don't have a psychology degree but if you'd like to talk...

You know what the worst part of this is?

And I've seen it happen to so many patients.

What?

The way other people change.

How they start to treat you differently.

They walk on eggshells around you.

Sometimes they avoid you altogether.

Sometimes they become overbearing-- reach out a helping hand to the blind woman.

I'm sorry if I...

I will not be treated that way!

Hey!

Imzadi.

Oh, please.

Deanna

I've never seen you quite so scared.

I'm fine.

If I get better, I get better.

If I don't, I'll adapt.

Life goes on.

Deanna.

I really have to finish this.

I have some appointments this afternoon.

Probe launch successful.

Telemetry transmissions are being received.

Okay, let's see what we've got.

Nothing unusual here.

Same reading as the ship's sensors.

Expanding analysis parameters.

Including Bayesian functions... broad EM and subspace spectrum polling.

Hmm-mm. No change.

I am adding virtual particle trajectories.

Whoa.

What is that?

Unknown.

I am attempting to analyze motion pattern.

Results still inconclusive.

Last time I saw anything that looked like that

I was skin-diving off the coral reefs at Bracas V.

You said you woke up a new woman this morning.

That's how I feel.

Tell me about her, this new woman.

She's, uh, not holding anything back anymore.

She's not?

Oh, I let it all out last night.

I cried for two hours.

I realized that I had never accepted the loss of my husband.

I worked hard, I kept busy.

I did everything to pretend it never happened.

And you feel different now?

Completely.

Can I share something important with you?

Of course.

I've temporarily lost my empathic sense.

It's kind of like having one hand tied behind your back.

I'm so sorry.

Do you want me to come back?

No, no, I'm fine.

It's just... I feel before we continue it's important that you know that, okay?

All right.

Because I can't tell how you're feeling this morning.

But it seems to me that one night of crying can't make up for months of denial.

No, you're wrong.

I feel better today than I have in ages.

You're absolutely wrong, Deanna.

The probe's point of view reveals that the objects exist entirely in two dimensions on a single plane.

They have length and width, but not height.

Virtually flat.

That is why the ship's forward sensors did not detect them initially.

We were looking at them along their edge.

There was no surface to read. I will illustrate.

Are they a life-form?

The movement pattern within the cluster is not a naturally occurring phenomenon in the Newtonian sense.

They appear to be alive.

Can you explain why they're pulling us along with them?

Somehow they're able to polarize the graviton field as they move about.

We're caught in the wake.

How do we get out of it?

The best idea for now is to try a controlled overload of the warp drive.

Jump directly to warp six.

The laws of a three-dimensional universe say it should work.

Don't know about a two-dimensional universe, though.

Fascinating.

So many questions.

How can a two-dimensional entity have access to a three-dimensional universe?

And are they aware of us?

Number One, if we can put off the T'lli Betans

I would like to investigate this further as soon as we are free of the graviton field.

It's a shame we can't tell if they're sentient.

What do you mean by that?

I'm doing the best that I can.

No one suggested otherwise, Counselor.

Mr. Data, try to isolate any signal patterns from the cluster.

Perhaps there'll be a basis for communication.

Mr. La Forge, we'll attempt your warp jump as soon as you're prepared.

That will be all.

Counselor...

How are you feeling?

Beverly, I can't do my job.

I'm absolutely lost.

You have to do something.

I cross-referenced your scan results with the baseline files in the computer.

Nothing helpful has turned up.

And so far, the lab work is inconclusive.

Inconclusive? What does that mean?

It means there is nothing I can do now.

I am still trying.

How do you people live like this?

We get by pretty well, actually and so will you, in time.

You have no idea-- no idea-- what this is like.

How can you know what it's like to lose something you never had?

I don't claim to.

And yet you're telling me that I'm supposed to get used to it.

If our positions were reversed what would you tell me?

If our positions were reversed

I wouldn't have been in here treating skinned elbows while you were lying passed out on your office floor.

I'd have been there a lot sooner perhaps in time to prevent this from ever happening!

I've been working with Ensign Brooks since the death of her husband.

She's avoided the reality of what happened denied it to herself.

And I realize I've been doing the same thing about my condition.

It's perfectly understandable.

It's time I accept the truth, Captain and resign as Ship's Counselor.

Resign?

I can no longer fulfill my obligations.

What other option is there?

Deanna...

I've been fortunate to have access to your Betazoid abilities.

Most starship Captains have to be content with a human Counselor.

Empathic awareness is not a requirement of your position.

It is for me.

I'm sure that after a while you'll be able to adjust.

They say when one loses a sense the other senses become stronger to compensate.

A blind man develops better hearing...

With all due respect, Captain you don't know what you're talking about.

That is a common belief with no scientific basis no doubt created by normal people who felt uncomfortable around the disabled.

I am disabled and I'm telling you I cannot perform my duties.

There was a teacher of mine at the Academy who had been confined to a wheelchair from birth.

She was a woman... Captain, spare me the inspirational anecdote and just accept my resignation.

( door chimes )

Come in.

I really would rather be alone right now.

Too bad.

( sobbing )

Shh...

Is this how you handle all your personnel problems?

Sure.

You'd be surprised how far a hug goes with Geordi or Worf.

( laughs )

Will...

I don't know what to do.

So, you resign?

You walk away from all the people who care about you?

I look around me, and all I see are surfaces without depth... colorless, hollow.

Nothing seems real.

I'm real.

No, you're not.

You're a projection with no more substance to me than a character on the holodeck.

I don't believe that.

You have no idea how frightening it is to... to just be here, without sensing you without sharing your feelings.

( sobbing continues )

That's it, isn't it?

We're on equal footing now.

What?

You always had an advantage-- a little bit of control of every situation.

That must have been a very safe position to be in.

To be honest...

I'd always thought there was something a little too... aristocratic about your Betazoid heritage.

As if your human side wasn't quite good enough for you.

That isn't true.

Isn't it?

La Forge to Riker.

Go ahead, Geordi.

We are ready to attempt a controlled overload jump to warp six.

Acknowledged. I'm on my way to the Bridge.

I'll check in on you later.

Really, you don't have to.

I will check in on you later.

( sobbing )

Setting new course at optimal shearing angle-- bearing 217 mark 203.

Engaging impulse engines now.

Mr. La Forge, go to warp.

Aye, sir.

Status?

Unchanged.

We have not broken free of the graviton field.

Integrity field pressure has increased by 217%, Captain.

COMPUTER: Warning.

Differential stress will exceed upper limit in 15 seconds. ( alarms blaring )

Disengage all engines.

Warning. Differential stress will exceed upper...

( alarm stops )

Engines disengaged, sir.

Report, La Forge.

The energy we wanted to transfer to the nacelles was absorbed by the graviton wake instead.

It set up a torsional wave that rebounded back to the ship.

We're lucky the hull is still in one piece.

This little nuisance is beginning to lose its fascination.

Sir, during our attempt to break away

I recorded a momentary alteration in the movement pattern within the cluster.

Do you think we got their attention, Data?

Perhaps, but just for an instant.

The pattern immediately returned to its previous dynamic.

Follow up on it, Mr. Data.

Input your observations into the universal translator.

Aye, sir.

Perhaps these movements, themselves are an attempt at communication.

( quiet conversations )

More tea?

I didn't mean to startle you.

( sighs )

That's all right.

I'm getting used to it.

May I?

Sure.

Are you really getting used to it?

No.

Do you want to talk about it?

No.

Good.

I get so tired of people coming in with their problems.

They come in, they want a shoulder to cry on and generally, it turns out to be mine.

You'd make a good Counselor.

I think so, too so I'm going to talk to Picard about it.

About what?

You becoming Counselor?

Well, yes. You're leaving.

That means there won't be a Counselor onboard and I suppose I'll have a very long line at that bar.

It would be nice to have a nice office, too.

It's more than just letting them cry on your shoulder.

It takes an enormous commitment.

I can do that.

Guinan, people come to talk to you about things they want to reveal.

As Ship's Counselor you have to get them to talk about things they don't want to reveal.

I could do that, too.

What are you...?

You don't really want to be Ship's Counselor.

What would make you say that?

I just know you're not serious.

Have I given you any indication that I might not be serious?

Not really, but...

Then how do you know?

Are your empathic abilities coming back?

No.

I suppose it's just instinctive.

Oh.

I get it.

You're trying to make me see that I have other abilities to draw on-- human intuition instincts.

Guinan, those skills only develop after years of experience.

It's not that easy.

No one said it was easy.

It's much harder than you think.

Human intuition and instinct are not always right but they do make life interesting.

So I'm discovering.

Problem, Data?

Yes, Commander.

Sensors are detecting highly-accelerated interstellar gases.

Suggesting?

Uncertain, sir.

The phenomenon is within visual range.

On screen.

Magnify.

DATA: It appears to be a cosmic string fragment only 107 kilometers long.

A cosmic string?

No wider than a proton but with gravitational fields as powerful as a black hole.

The two-dimensional beings seem to be caught in the gravitational pull of the string

Their course is taking them directly toward it.

And us right along with it.

Captain's Log, Stardate 44359.5.

What began as a curious inconvenience

has turned into a serious threat.

At current speed, the two-dimensional beings

and the Enterprise will be drawn into

the cosmic string fragment in seven hours.

The entities offer no indication they are aware of the string fragment, sir.

Their course and speed remain constant.

Sir, I recommend we fire a spread of photon torpedoes into their field.

( sighs )

Must we destroy them to save ourselves?

It is unclear what effect a photon torpedo would have on two-dimensional beings, sir.

Nevertheless...

Well, we wouldn't necessarily have to fire at them.

Half a dozen photon torpedo bursts directly in their path could make them change course.

Make it so.

Torpedoes armed.

Fire distribution set.

Detonation at seven kilometers ahead of the cluster.

Data, launch another probe.

Patch the monitor through to the main viewer.

Probe is launched.

On screen.

Proceed, Mr. Worf.

Launching torpedoes.

Detonation in five seconds.

Three... two... one.

( explosions )

There is no change in the graviton field.

The torpedoes are having no effect, sir.

Fire another volley directly into their field, Mr. Worf.

Launching torpedoes.

Detonation in five seconds.

Three... two... one.

( explosions )

DATA: Matter-antimatter explosions appear to be ineffective, sir.

( door chimes )

Come in.

Janet.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I meant to cancel your appointment today.

Actually, I'm resigning as Ship's Counselor.

Why?

I think it was fairly clear during your last appointment.

It was obviously non-productive.

I couldn't sense what you were feeling.

Deanna, you were right about me.

I had to go back and look at what I was doing see why I was trying to convince myself and you that I was a new woman.

You made me realize

I was doing exactly the same thing to myself as I was before-- trying to hide from the pain.

Maybe you couldn't sense what I was feeling but you helped.

( door chimes )

Come.

You wanted to see me, Captain.

Yes, Counselor.

Sit down, please.

Our situation has become critical.

The cluster remains completely unresponsive.

We have not been able to alter its course towards the cosmic string fragment.

How much time do we have?

Less than five hours.

Which is why I have called you.

Sir?

All that remains is the possibility of communication.

There might be some way that we can warn them of their impending destruction.

I thought Data had already tried to establish communications through the universal translator.

He has tried every technical means at our disposal to reach them.

I wish I knew how to help, Captain but under the circumstances...

If there is a psychology to these creatures we must discover it.

If there is an explanation for their behavior we must know what it is.

Even in your current condition you are the most qualified person aboard this ship to assist.

Data is in observation attempting to formulate a strategy.

I want you to join him.

Deanna we need you.

Captain's Log, supplemental.

If our speed and course remain unchanged

in one hour, the Enterprise will be torn apart

by the gravitational forces of the cosmic string fragment.

Are your signals reaching them?

Possibly.

However, the beings may perceive them as negligible noise, rather than an attempt at communication.

Is there any evidence at all that they're sentient?

Negative. The nature of their movements suggests a simple order of intelligence.

I'm sorry, Data.

I don't seem to be much help without my empathic abilities.

I just don't know how to draw on my human instinct.

As I do not have human instinct, per se

I cannot advise you, Counselor.

Right now

I feel as two-dimensional as our friends out there.

In the universe, but barely aware of it.

Just trying to survive... on instinct.

Data... what if they're simply acting instinctively?

There are inherent inborn forces in every species.

What they need what they fear.

We have to discover what drives this species.

I do not believe there is any way we can know for certain, Counselor.

We can speculate on the available evidence.

The only evidence we have at present is the brief interruption in their movement pattern during our last attempt to break away.

Which may suggest some kind of awareness of our presence.

Otherwise, their course and speed have been constant.

( sighs )

On a straight line to the cosmic string.

You're convinced the string's gravitation is pulling them in?

Because the cluster is two-dimensional

I do not have enough direct evidence to support that assumption.

However, it is the most reasonable hypothesis.

Why?

It is unlikely they would intentionally move toward a destructive force.

Moths fly toward a flame.

Horses sometimes run into a burning barn.

Data, don't you see?

We've been thinking in three dimensions.

We have to get two-dimensional.

Pardon me?

Subspace signals, photon torpedoes-- nothing's had an impact.

It's reasonable to wonder if a gravitational pull-- even as strong as a cosmic string's-- would affect them.

Please continue.

What if they've chosen a course to the cosmic string?

A case of pure stimulus response.

Driven by instinct, just like the moth to a flame.

DATA: If Counselor Troi's supposition is correct a replica of the string projected behind the cluster could induce them to reverse course disrupting the graviton wake long enough for us to escape.

How do you simulate a cosmic string?

It has the gravitational force of a hundred stars.

I do not suggest simulating the gravitational field of the string fragment.

Rather, the string's vibration.

Vibration? We're not talking about a violin, Data.

No, Data's right.

The principle is still the same.

A cosmic string emanates a characteristic set of subspace frequencies as atomic particles decay along its event horizon.

I could use the ship's parabolic dish to amplify and reflect those frequencies back toward the cluster.

The Enterprise, itself, would echo the cosmic string.

How much time do we have, Mr. Worf?

23 minutes, sir.

Make it so.

Frequency scan detectors engaged.

LA FORGE: Receiving.

( loud static )

Data, we're picking up frequencies across the entire electromagnetic and lower subspace spectrum.

Trying to isolate.

Data, can you focus the reflector field for me?

Stand by.

I am differentiating particle emission signatures now.

( signal clearing )

Good. Good. That's doing it.

Patterns are converging.

Same course, same speed.

No change, sir.

WORF: We're beginning to encounter the gravitational effects of the string.

Impact is in four minutes.

Sir, sheer force turbulence is impairing our ability to create an accurate simulation.

Geordi, fire up the impulse engines.

Activate the ship's stabilizers.

Stabilizers on.

Electromagnetic and subspace wave fronts approaching synchronization.

Three minutes to impact.

Status.

The cluster is unaffected.

Same course, same speed.

Let's try turning up the volume.

Increase the intensity, Mr. Data.

Increasing by 50%.

They're slowing.

Graviton wake field is collapsing.

Mr. La Forge, get us out of here.

With pleasure, sir.

The beings have resumed their course into the string.

Three seconds to impact.

( sighs )

It's all right.

They're home.

We were wrong.

The cosmic string was never dangerous to them.

It was the one place in the galaxy they most wanted to be.

Deanna?

Yes...

( sighs )

I sensed it.

Such overwhelming intensity of emotion.

When we first encountered them, it must have been more than my senses could process.

A short circuit.

Something like that.

Oh, Beverly...

Apology accepted.

Therapists are always the worst patients.

Except for doctors, of course.

Come by and see me at my office later, okay?

I was so awful to her.

Well, you were just being human.

I never fully appreciated how difficult-- and how rewarding it is-- to be human.

But I had a lot of help.

Thanks.

Now, is that Counselor position still open aboard ship?

It's been taken.

I just thought I'd ask.

Better hours.

Excuse me.

And you...

Thank you for making me face my other half.

Frightening, wasn't it?

A little.

You were right, though.

There is something to be learned when you're not in control of every situation.

Welcome to the human race.

By the way, the next time you call me "aristocratic..."