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Half A Life

Counselor Deanna Troi, Personal Log, Stardate 44805.3.

My mother is on board.

Jean-Luc, you delicious man!

You were just thinking of me weren't you?

As a matter of fact...

Well, think no further, dear heart.

She's here.

Yes, indeed.

Oh, serious.

You're always so serious.

Lwaxana... Hmm?

As a matter of fact, I am rather busy at the moment.

And you're always busy with something or other.

( chuckles ): Never the right thing, though.

My daughter tells me that we're, um, picking up someone interesting here.

Yes, the leading scientist from Kaelon II, and...

Oh, Kaelon II!

I've never heard of that.

Well, Lwaxana, it is something of a rather delicate...

Oh...

...situation.

It's the first real contact with a rather reclusive race and... this is in the nature of an official greeting, so...

Oh, diplomacy.

Oh, I adore diplomacy.

Everyone dresses so well.

Mr. O'Brien, energize.

Dr. Timicin, I'm Jean-Luc Picard

Captain of the Enterprise.

This is Lieutenant Commander La Forge.

I beg your pardon, Captain.

This is my first time aboard a Federation starship.

Oh, yes, they told me.

The shaking of hands-- a form of greeting.

( clears throat )

I beg your pardon.

Dr. Timicin, allow me to present

Lwaxana Troi of Betazed.

She is also a guest on board...

And Daughter of the Fifth House

Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx

Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed and what are you doing for dinner?

Well, I don't know really.

Lwaxana, we have quite a bit of work planned.

Well, the man's never been on board a starship before, Jean-Luc.

Certainly somebody ought to make him comfortable before you get started.

Well, it seems that Mrs. Troi is our acting ambassador of goodwill for today.

You just think of me as your entertainment director.

( chuckles )

That man's in a lot of trouble.

Space, the final frontier.

These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.

Its continuing mission--

to explore strange new worlds...

to seek out new life and new civilizations...

to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Captain's Log, Stardate 44805.7.

For generations, the people of Kaelon II

have been working to revitalize their dying sun.

The Federation has offered to assist in testing

what may be a solution to this problem.

Of course, the basic theories of helium fusion enhancement have been discussed for over a century but there's been no practical method of application until now.

DATA: The modifications you have made in the torpedoes guidance systems are remarkable, Doctor.

Well, we'll see.

They still have to be proved.

But now at least it's possible.

I'd never dared to hope for such a perfect match with our own sun.

My only regret is that it took us three years to find a suitable sun after you had first contacted us.

We're not used to dealing with other worlds.

We're not used to asking for anything from others.

Your offer of help has given us a possible means of survival.

It has taken 40 years of my life to develop the programming that will control your photon torpedoes.

It has been my life.

Thank you for this opportunity.

My only wish has been to find a way to revive our sun... before I die.

Mrs. Troi, I must protest your unauthorized presence on the Bridge.

What does that little one do, Mr. Woof?

Please, madam!

That is a torpedo launch initiator, and...

And it is "Worf," madam, not "woof."

Oh... ah!

There you are, my dear.

Where have you been?

I've been waiting for you.

So nice to see you again so soon.

Mrs. Troi.

Mother, what did you want?

What?

You were waiting for me.

Oh, yes, dear, of course I was.

You really must let me do something to relieve the tedium of all this work, work, work.

I'm afraid I'm expected in Engineering.

I'm really terribly sorry.

Oh.

Mrs. Troi

I have to ask you to clear the Bridge, please.

I don't see why.

There are lots of other people here.

Mother, please.

Well, don't you worry.

We'll just have our little chat later.

I'd never have thought her old enough to be your mother.

She is so... vibrant.

If you look at the next simulation, you'll see that we need the temperature to stabilize at 220 million.

Otherwise there's a secondary then a tertiary reaction to the...

Ah, ah, ah! Enough is enough.

Rescue is at hand.

Ah, Dr. Timicin.

Oh, would you clear all this mess off the table, please?

This mess, Mrs. Troi...

Now, now, now.

You boys have been shut up in here for hours.

Now, if you don't eat something you're going to get sick and who's that going to help?

I've made some perfectly marvelous

Mantickian paté.

Mr. Homn will lay it out for us.

Oh, Mr. Homn is my valet.

He doesn't say much.

( sotto voce ): How can he?

It is true that the intellectual efficiency of high-order beings does diminish proportionately with the deprivation of nutritious fuel...

All right, all right. Don't you start.

TIMICIN: Mrs. Troi, you're a wise woman.

I'm sure we could use a respite.

These two call me Mrs. Troi.

You call me Lwaxana.

Mr. Homn... spread it.

So, knowing my daughter's starship would be passing fairly close to Betazed again

I maneuvered a ride and, um, here I am.

Deck eight.

I also have a grown daughter.

She has a small son of her own.

Oh. Then, you're married.

My wife died quite some years ago.

You know, one thing I don't understand.

If your people have known for generations that their sun is dying why not simply evacuate the planet?

It is our home.

It defines who we are as a people.

If Kaelon II ceases to exist so do we.

Well, then you definitely should fix it.

With the Federation's help, I... I hope we will.

And the Federation will be pleased to offer whatever help it can.

Would you come in for a nightcap?

Well, that's extremely kind of you, but...

My valet sleeps elsewhere.

( both chuckling )

You're delightful.

You make me laugh.

( laughing )

I mean, I-I don't mean that your invitation makes me laugh.

I mean, I take that quite seriously.

I-I mean...

Oh, but... Don't... Just say yes.

I'll make you laugh some more.

I wish I could... but I must say no.

Good night, Lwaxana.

Captain's Log, Stardate 44807.5.

The Enterprise has arrived at the Praxillus system

where we will conduct

Dr. Timicin's helium ignition test.

Mother, how much... Little One,

why do you refuse to use telepathy

even when we're alone?

We're not alone, mother.

Now, how much longer is this going to take?

You've been selecting for 20 minutes.

I am a woman dressing for a man.

Something you might try now and then, dear.

I wonder if Timicin likes green.

That's not very telepathic of you.

Oh, I tried telepathy on him.

He's the wrong species.

Right species for everything else, though.

You might try that once in a while, too.

You know, you're not just incorrigible you're insatiable.

( laughing )

I have completed long-range scans.

There are no other life-forms present in this system.

Spacecraft?

None within sensor range.

Picard to Engineering.

Mr. La Forge, the system is clear.

Final pre-launch diagnostic, level-5.

All systems verified.

We're ready here when you are, Captain.

Very well.

Mr. Worf?

Photon torpedoes armed... and targeted.

Fire in sequence.

First volley released.

Tracking torpedoes.

Entry program confirmed.

Second volley released.

Torpedoes now entering the stellar core.

Their shields are holding.

Guidance systems normal.

Ignition sequence, six seconds... five seconds... four... three seconds... now.

Shock wave patterns within predicted range.

1700 percent rise in gamma radiation levels.

Helium fusion rate... increasing.

What about heat and pressure levels?

Steady so far.

Density at 1100 grams per cubic centimeter.

Temperature approaching 60 million degrees Kelvin.

We want it to stabilize at 220 million.

Pressure wave harmonics dispersing.

Temperature in target zone increasing to 81 million degrees, sir.

LA FORGE: Still rising.

Temperature at 90 million degrees Kelvin.

And now 110 million.

Looking good.

One hundred thirty-seven...

Radiation and pressure levels still stable.

LA FORGE: Temperature is 170 million degrees Kelvin.

One ninety... and now, 200 million.

It's happening.

207... and rising.

Two nineteen... and twenty.

Two twenty... and holding.

Looks like congratulations may be in order.

Mr. Data?

Turbulence patterns are within predicted parameters.

( console beeping )

Two twenty-two.

Temperature is rising in the core again, Captain.

230 million degrees Kelvin.

LA FORGE: Still rising, Captain.

Two fifty-one.

Rate exceeding critical level.

Core density is becoming unstable.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Ensign, warp two, now!

I'm sorry.

Captain Picard?

Doctor.

Permit me to express my appreciation to you and your crew.

I am most grateful.

Most grateful.

Ensign, lay in a course for Kaelon II.

Warp factor five.

Aye, sir.

( doors open, close )

I'm so sorry, Timicin.

I had one of those named after me once.

Brilliant, young astronomer from Rigel IV.

Of course, I, um, I sparkled a bit myself in those days.

You see, that's called fishing for a compliment.

You're supposed to tell me I still sparkle.

I'm sorry.

I'm not helping, am I?

You're very kind.

I'm just not adequate company right now.

Oh, that's all right.

I can make enough conversation for both of us.

( chuckles )

I'll leave you alone.

No.

Please stay.

I wanted to tell you how much I wish we had met years ago.

What difference do a few years make?

Unfortunately, a great deal.

You see, Lwaxana, I'm on my way home now... to... die.

Captain's Log, Stardate 44812.6.

We have returned to Kaelon II

and established contact with Science Minister B'tardat.

The experiment achieved a stable core temperature for a short time, Minister.

That's a significant step forward.

We've been studying the sensor logs and the torpedo telemetry to determine if there was any malfunction.

If there was and we are able to isolate the problem another test might be successful.

And in the meantime, all of our facilities would be made available to Dr. Timicin.

A most thoughtful and generous offer but Timicin has obligations at home and it would take us some time to select a replacement.

We would be more than willing to extend our visit, sir.

That will not be necessary.

We'll contact you as soon as we're ready.

We expect Timicin to return home as soon as possible and again, gentlemen, many thanks.

( door chimes )

Come.

Are you aware these people you are so graciously helping are murderers?

I beg your pardon?

Well, the next thing to it.

When a person on this benighted little planet reaches the age of 60-- which Timicin is about to do-- they're expected to simply kill themselves.

Did you know that?

Mr. Data?

The people of Kaelon II are isolationists almost to the point of being xenophobes.

Regrettably, we know very little about their customs.

Well, I know. Timicin himself just told me.

He is supposed to go down there to his loving friends be wined, dined, honored for his achievements and then kill himself.

It's a barbaric ritual.

The, um... "The Resolution," it's called.

Obviously, you can't let him go, Jean-Luc.

I'm afraid I have no choice.

I don't think you've been listening to me.

The man is supposed to kill himself.

Now, you don't just let that happen.

You don't just turn your back.

What's the matter with you?

Lwaxana, I'm sorry, but whatever my personal feelings

I have no jurisdiction here.

I simply cannot interfere.

But you have to.

In a situation like this, you absolutely have to interfere.

You've got to go down there.

Talk to those people, Jean-Luc.

Open their eyes-- educate them.

The Prime Directive forbids us to interfere with the social order of any planet.

Well, it's your Prime Directive,

not mine.

( door opens, closes )

Computer, locate Counselor Troi.

What do you mean I can't go down there?

Are you telling me that I'm a prisoner on this ship?

Mother, what's going on?

What are you doing?

I'm sorry, Counselor.

I'm not sure what to do here.

Well, I am sure.

I am a Betazoid ambassador.

I'm a Daughter of the Fifth House and those people are going to answer to me.

So, y-you just energize this damn thing and get me down there!

He can't, Mother.

He has his orders.

His orders don't apply to me.

No, they apply to him.

And don't you try your professional patronizing on me, young lady.

They expect Timicin to die, don't you realize that?

Just because he's 60.

What's 60?

It's nothing.

( sobbing )

I'll go check the pattern buffers.

Come on, Mother, let's sit down.

I-I'm sorry, Little One.

I-I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm... I'm sorry.

There's no need to be.

But I'm crying.

I don't cry.

You cried when father died.

You remember that?

Of course I remember.

We both cried.

But... but this isn't the same.

Is it?

What do you think?

Oh... I-I don't know.

I... I just can't accept that... that fate would allow me to meet him like this and then take him away.

I mean, he's not ill.

He hasn't had a tragic accident.

He's just going to die and for no good reason.

Because his society has decided that's he's too old so they just dispose of him.

As... as though his life no longer had any value or meaning.

You can't possibly understand at your age, but, well, at mine...

Well, sometimes you feel tired and-and afraid.

You're feeling very vulnerable.

Very mortal, if I may say so.

But I know you, Mother, and believe me you will never be one of those who dies before they die.

( door chimes )

Come in.

I've been studying the preliminary reports of the test.

I-I don't understand where it went wrong.

I thought I had taken into account all of the variables-- deep convection patterns, proton reactions neutrino count.

( sighs )

Oh.

I will say it again-- you are a kind woman.

No, no, I'm a hateful woman.

I hate what you're going to do and I hate you for doing it.

It is the way of my world.

I wish you could accept that.

I never will.

Never.

How long have you been sitting there?

Oh, I don't know-- a minute, an hour.

Lwaxana...

Do you want anything?

Some tea?

I want to explain.

I want... very much for you to understand.

15 to 20 centuries ago, we had no Resolution.

We had no such concern for our elders.

As people aged, they...

Their health failed.

They became invalids and those whose families could no longer care for them were put away into deathwatch facilities where they waited in loneliness for the end to come sometimes... for years.

They had meant something and they were forced to live beyond that into a time of meaning nothing-- of knowing that they could now only be the beneficiaries of younger people's patience.

We are no longer that cruel, Lwaxana.

No, no, you're not cruel to them, you just kill them.

The Resolution is a celebration of life.

It allows us to end our lives with dignity.

"Celebration of life."

Sounds very noble, very caring.

What you're really saying is you got rid of the problem by getting rid of the people.

It may sound that way but it is a time of transition-- one generation passing on the responsibilities of life to the next.

What about the responsibility of caring for the elderly?

That would place a dreadful burden on the children.

We raise them, we care for them, we suffer for them we keep them from harm their whole lives.

Now, eventually, it's their turn to take care of us.

No parent should expect to be paid back for the love they've given their children.

Well, why the hell not?

Oskoids.

What's that?

Oskoids-- a Betazed delicacy.

Looks very interesting.

You should have tried it while you were still alive.

No reason to bother now.

Why 60?

Why not 62? 58?

A reasonable age had to be set.

But it's not reasonable, certainly not in your case.

You're as vital and healthy a man as I've ever known.

That is why I wish to say good-bye to my family and colleagues while I am this way-- in full command of my faculties knowing that they will always remember me as a strong and vigorous man.

But it makes no sense.

Some of your people could still be active at 70 or 80 and others might be seriously ill at 50.

How cruel of you to make them wait so long to commit suicide.

Setting a standard age for the Resolution makes it uniform for everybody.

To ask individual families to decide when their elders are to die--

that would be heartless.

I agree.

Why not let everybody die when they die?

Lwaxana...

You have a grandson, you said.

Yes, almost seven.

Well, wouldn't it be better for him to know his grandfather?

I mean, not some vague memory of someone who once loved him but a real, living person who does love him.

Don't you really think that would be better?

I attended the Resolution of my parents when it was their time.

It was beautiful.

Lwaxana, this is a custom that I have known and accepted all my life.

The women of Betazed used to wear these enormous wigs with large holes in the center for tiny, caged creatures.

Yes?

First, it was a fashion then it went on long enough to become a custom-- a tradition-- but it was uncomfortable for the woman and cruel to the animal.

So then one day, one very formidable woman finally said so-- refused to ever wear another of those wigs.

Fairly soon, the custom stopped.

She had the courage to stand up and fight for change.

She must have been a lot like you.

Timicin, there is no one more qualified more experienced, or more likely to save their planet than you and they would have you kill yourself.

Younger scientists will take my place.

My work...

the work will continue.

Your planet has what, 30, 40 years left?

What if your scientists can't find the answer without you?

What then?

What chance do you think your grandson has of reaching the age of 60?

Enough, please!

It is my time, Lwaxana and that is the way it is.

( sighs )

Well, if that's the way it is,

I don't know why anyone's bothering to try to save your planet at all.

If it's time has come, let it die.

Where is the difference, Timicin?

Where?

Convection boundary uncoupling.

The reaction... caused gas turbulence of a totally unexpected magnitude.

Why?

There was evidence of a delayed surface shock.

No, I'd anticipated that.

I thought I'd anticipated all possible variables but stars, you know, they're like living entities in a way-- quite unpredictable.

You know...

I wouldn't be at all surprised if this were a result of...

Look here.

42 seconds into the test, there is a sudden rise in the level of hydrogen-alpha emissions.

And here is another.

I'm right, aren't I?

There had to be neutron migration within the star's inner core as the reaction grew.

Perhaps, Doctor, but there is no known method for controlling a neutron migration.

Yes, yes, but theoretically, it is possible.

Using these test results, we could construct a new computer model of the energy dynamic of a star that can test a new detonation program.

I'm certain it can be accomplished, certain.

It's just a matter of time.

A matter of time.

( door chimes )

Come.

Timicin.

Time for you to leave us then.

Captain...

I have come to officially request... asylum aboard the Enterprise.

Timicin, I cannot believe this.

Why asylum?

Asylum from what?

I turn 60 in four days, Minister.

Yes, and your family and colleagues are already gathering for your Resolution.

I believe that it is time for us to reexamine as a people, the wisdom of the Resolution.

Are they forcing you into this?

Are you being coerced?

Influenced, perhaps.

Coerced? No.

Our only influence, Minister, is by example.

Timicin's decision is his own free will, I assure you.

I cannot believe that a man of Timicin's stature would freely choose to reject his own culture.

No one on Kaelon II understands this project as I do.

There are new theories that would take others a decade to test and confirm.

With my guidance, it could be done in half that time.

I must finish my work.

Others started your work, others will finish it.

It has always been this way. It always will.

RIKER: Captain, scanners indicate two Kaelon warships rising on an intercept course.

Acknowledged, Commander.

Minister, we are here in friendship hoping to be of assistance.

You have helped quite enough, Captain.

I suggest you return Timicin and depart.

If you attempt to leave orbit with Timicin on board our ships have been ordered to open fire.

B'tardat, there's no purpose at all in letting this become...

( sighs )

It shouldn't have happened.

I've handled this poorly.

You acted in good conscience, Doctor.

I don't see what else you could have done.

I could have let well enough alone.

I could have returned home.

What do you think, Captain?

Have I done... the right thing?

I'm afraid you're the only one who can answer that.

Lwaxana would...

Would have me lead a revolt.

I'm only a scientist.

I wish I had her strength.

She is a woman of extraordinary conviction, isn't she?

Isn't she.

Any communications, Number One?

No, sir. We have an open channel.

WORF: The warships are taking a standard attack posture.

Staggered approach vectors, within weapons range.

Shields up. Red Alert.

Captain...

Doctor, I suggest that you return to your quarters.

I don't want there to be any bloodshed because of my decision.

They will do everything they can to avoid it.

I think we should get out of their way now.

Yes, yes, of course. I understand.

Mr. Worf, ascertain their offensive potential.

Aye, sir.

We must transmit the new analysis of neutron migration, immediately.

If I can make them see the direction that I've taken...

LA FORGE: We've already tried.

They refuse to accept further reports from you, Doctor.

They have to accept it.

If I can reestablish a computer interface with the Science Ministry...

They've disengaged the linkup, Doctor.

Why don't they answer?!

Even if I find the solution, you will not accept it?!

Because I do not terminate my life they terminate my work.

Alive, I am a greater threat to my world than a dying sun.

But Jean-Luc will find a way to settle this.

No. He always does.

No, my decision will only lead to more distrust of other worlds.

Nothing will change.

Now, don't be foolish.

I am not being foolish!

Lwaxana, I want to live because I see in you how much I have to live for.

You make me realize that my life still has value.

I can be an example to my people.

I can finish my work.

But discovering these new desires and not being able to do anything about them-- not being able to finish my work not even being able to reach my people...

You are making a statement about the sanctity of life and it will be heard, Timicin.

Who will hear it from light years away?

Where will I go now, Lwaxana?

I'm a man without a world.

I can't go home.

Oh, Timicin...

RIKER: Bridge to Dr. Timicin.

You have a visitor coming aboard.

B'tardat?

No, sir, it's your daughter.

Dara. Father.

This is Lwaxana Troi.

She has been host and friend.

I've been looking forward to meeting you, Dara.

Whatever you have to say to me can be said in front of her.

I see.

Father, come home.

This is wrong.

Dara, if I could show you the work I have begun.

There's still so much for me to do.

There is nothing for me to look at.

It is irrelevant.

Your father's work may save your world, my dear.

I would hardly consider that irrelevant.

All I'm concerned with now is you, not your work.

Your work is over.

It is your time to rest.

LWAXANA: Perhaps you will feel differently as you get a little older-- say, approaching 60.

My father taught me to cherish the Resolution.

I don't know how you have poisoned him to reject it.

It's an obscene ritual.

How dare you?

How dare you criticize my way of life and my beliefs?

Please, please. Dara.

Please.

Where will you go?

Hmm.

I don't know.

And where will you die?

I cannot bear the thought of you being laid to rest on some other world.

That you will not lie beside my mother.

That I will not be able to lie beside you when my Resolution comes.

I'm sorry.

I don't know how you can go on with your life knowing that each day is an insult to everything we believe in.

( sighs )

Father, I love you... but I am ashamed.

( sobbing )

I would like to be alone now, please.

( sighs )

Well, I'm suddenly not sure of myself.

It's a feeling I-I'm not at all used to.

I... I don't think I like it very much, Little One.

Not sure of yourself?

My life has been full.

Oh... now and then, perhaps it's overflowed a little, but... but I-I enjoy living.

And now I'm asking myself is it possible I was wrong to encourage Timicin to choose life?

You were honest with him, Mother.

You had to be.

Maybe I want him to live just to keep me company.

Of course, you do but you didn't do this for yourself.

You did it for him.

Did I?

Then look what I've done to him.

He's like a...

He's like a man who has lost his faith.

I never considered how deeply ingrained this Resolution liturgy is.

Ritual provides structure in society-- good rituals and bad rituals alike.

Well, this is a bad one.

Your point of view.

Well, it should be the point of view of any reasonably intelligent, middle-aged person.

( sighs )

Unfortunately, it is not.

( door chimes )

I'll, uh... see you later, Mother.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

You're going back.

Do you believe that I love you?

I do, you know.

But, finally, if that is my only reason to stay alive...

It's not enough.

Almost.

Almost, but not quite.

I can't be that selfish, Lwaxana.

I am not the person to lead the revolt.

I do apologize for all the turmoil that I've created.

Doctor, I would deeply regret it if you were returning only to ease diplomatic tensions.

It is more... much more.

Then I wish you and your people well.

When it is time for another test

I will encourage my people to seek your assistance again.

If for any reason you would like to wait for a few minutes...

No, we have already said our good-byes.

Lwaxana.

It is the custom for your loved ones to join you at this Resolution, is it not?

You do not have to do this.

Yes, I do.

Permission to disembark, Captain?

I promise I won't cause any problems down there.

Permission granted.

We are ready, Mr. O'Brien.