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Flashback

00:00:10

NEELIX: Anthraxic citrus peel orange juice with just a hint of papalla seed extract-- an experimental blend.

00:00:18

The success rate of your culinary experiments has not been high.

00:00:22

Ensign Golwat tried some yesterday and she thought it was delicious.

00:00:27

In fact, she had a second glass and she never has seconds.

00:00:30

Ensign Golwat is Bolian.

00:00:32

Her tongue has a cartilaginous lining.

00:00:34

It would protect her against even the most corrosive acid.

00:00:38

All I ask is that you try it, Mr. Vulcan.

00:00:54

Impressive.

00:00:55

Ah.

00:00:56

I'll start squeezing that second glass.

00:01:00

Breakfast is coming right up.

00:01:01

Porakan eggs.

00:01:03

Porakan?

00:01:04

The most flavorful eggs in the sector.

00:01:08

Scrambled with a little dill weed, a touch of rengazo-- a galactic favorite.

00:01:15

Now, these eggs were not easy to prepare.

00:01:19

After we picked them up on Porakas IV,

00:01:21

I had to sterilize them in a cryostatic chamber for three days.

00:01:25

Then each and every one had to be parboiled...

00:01:28

Mr. Neelix, I would prefer not to hear the life history of my breakfast.

00:01:32

On Talax, it's a tradition to share the history of a meal before you begin eating.

00:01:38

It's a way of enhancing the culinary experience.

00:01:43

My mother was brilliant.

00:01:45

She could make every course, every garnish come alive by making it a character in a story.

00:01:51

My favorite was the one about the crustacean who...

00:01:58

What happened?

00:02:00

Um, some sort of power overload.

00:02:07

I'm afraid it decimated your breakfast.

00:02:09

This is what my mother would have called a tragic ending.

00:02:12

Engineering has been making adjustments to the plasma conduits to accommodate a new energy source.

00:02:18

It may have created a thermal surge in the galley systems.

00:02:20

Janeway to Tuvok.

00:02:22

Please report to the Bridge.

00:02:23

Mr. Neelix, I'd like you to join us as well.

00:02:25

Aye, Captain.

00:02:29

JANEWAY: Captain's Log, stardate 50126.4.

00:02:33

We have detected a gaseous anomaly

00:02:35

that contains sirillium--

00:02:36

a highly combustible and versatile energy source.

00:02:40

We've altered course to investigate.

00:02:43

Sirillium?

00:02:45

Yes, and possibly large amounts of it.

00:02:47

If so, we're going to need to stockpile as much as we can.

00:02:50

I'd like to convert Storage Bay 3 into a containment chamber.

00:02:54

My pantry. I'm sorry, Neelix.

00:02:56

You're going to have to make other arrangements.

00:02:58

Of course, Captain.

00:03:00

You know, if I injected sirillium into my thermal array, it might improve cooking time.

00:03:05

Yes, and blow up half your kitchen in the process.

00:03:07

Sirillium is far more useful as a warp plasma catalyst.

00:03:11

The gas can also be used to boost deflector shield efficiency.

00:03:14

The vultures are circling.

00:03:16

Well, there's certainly no shortage of good ideas.

00:03:18

Have all department heads submit proposals for sirillium usage.

00:03:21

Aye, Captain.

00:03:23

TUVOK: The anomaly is within visual range.

00:03:25

On screen.

00:03:28

Analysis, Mr. Kim.

00:03:29

It's a class-17 nebula.

00:03:31

I'm detecting standard amounts of hydrogen and helium and 7,000 parts per million of sirillium.

00:03:36

TORRES: Captain, I recommend we use the Bussard collectors to gather the sirillium.

00:03:40

They'll cut through that nebula like ice cream scoops.

00:03:42

PARIS: I'm picking up a lot of plasmatic turbulence in there.

00:03:45

It might be a bumpy ride.

00:03:47

JANEWAY: Tuvok, can you modify the shields to compensate?

00:03:53

Tuvok...

00:03:55

Are you all right, Lieutenant?

00:03:59

I don't know.

00:04:00

I'm experiencing dizziness and... disorientation.

00:04:05

Permission to go to Sick Bay.

00:04:07

Granted.

00:04:10

( door opening )

00:04:13

Deck 5.

00:04:15

GIRL: Help me!

00:04:22

Tuvok!

00:04:24

Help me, Tuvok!

00:04:34

GIRL: Please, don't let go!

00:04:46

Tuvok! Don't let me fall!

00:04:52

( panting )

00:04:57

No!

00:05:03

( door opens )

00:05:05

( panting heavily )

00:07:03

I was holding a young girl by the hand, trying to prevent her from falling from a precipice.

00:07:08

I was unable to keep my grip, and she fell to her death.

00:07:12

And there is more.

00:07:15

I had an emotional response-- anxiety, fear-- an almost irrational anger at myself for letting her fall.

00:07:23

When did that happen?

00:07:25

It never happened.

00:07:26

The girl was unfamiliar and I've never been in that situation.

00:07:30

It was me as a child and it did seem like a memory, but I don't recall the incident.

00:07:39

Well, it was definitely a traumatic episode.

00:07:41

Your heart rate accelerated to 300 beats per minute your adrenaline levels rose by 113 percent and your neuroelectrical readings nearly jumped off the scale.

00:07:52

If you were human, I'd say you had a severe panic attack.

00:07:54

I am not human.

00:07:55

No kidding.

00:07:57

I don't know what happened to you, but there can be any number of explanations-- hallucination, telepathic communication from another race, repressed memory, momentary contact with a parallel reality.

00:08:09

Take your pick.

00:08:10

The universe is such a strange place.

00:08:12

JANEWAY: I'll have Mr. Kim examine the sensor logs.

00:08:14

Maybe our proximity to the nebula is affecting you somehow.

00:08:17

In the meantime, Lieutenant, you are free to go.

00:08:20

All of your vital signs have returned to normal and I don't see any residual systemic damage.

00:08:24

But I want you to wear this neurocortical monitor.

00:08:29

In case you have another episode, it'll record a complete encephalographic profile and alert Sick Bay at the same time.

00:08:36

A wise precaution, Doctor.

00:08:38

Thank you.

00:08:47

TUVOK: Structure.

00:08:49

Logic.

00:08:51

Function.

00:08:53

Control.

00:08:55

A structure cannot stand without a foundation.

00:08:59

Logic is the foundation of function.

00:09:03

Function... is the essence of control.

00:09:08

I am in control.

00:09:13

I am in control.

00:09:21

( door chimes )

00:09:25

Enter.

00:09:28

Kes.

00:09:31

What is it?

00:09:32

The Doctor wanted me to adjust your neurocortical monitor to pick up additional peptide readings.

00:09:37

I can come back later if this is a bad time.

00:09:41

No.

00:09:43

You may proceed.

00:09:49

What are you working on?

00:09:51

It is called a keethara.

00:09:53

Keethara?

00:09:55

What does that mean?

00:09:57

The approximate translation is "structure of harmony."

00:10:01

It is used as a mediational aid.

00:10:04

Building it requires precise balance and spatial acuity.

00:10:09

It helps to focus thought and refine mental control.

00:10:16

At the moment, it doesn't look very harmonious.

00:10:19

No. It does not.

00:10:23

I'm curious.

00:10:25

What does a keethara look like when it's done?

00:10:28

The form is not predefined.

00:10:30

It is a reflection of the builder's state of mind.

00:10:34

Thus, it is different each time.

00:10:37

I'd like to see it when it's finished.

00:10:44

Well, good night.

00:10:47

Kes...

00:10:51

It's all right.

00:10:53

I understand.

00:11:02

Structure.

00:11:04

Logic.

00:11:07

Function.

00:11:09

Control.

00:11:11

A structure cannot stand without a foundation.

00:11:17

Logic is the foundation... of function.

00:11:23

Function is the essence of control.

00:11:28

I am in control.

00:11:32

I am in... control.

00:11:36

CHAKOTAY: So how are you feeling this morning?

00:11:38

If you are referring to yesterday's incident,

00:11:40

I haven't experienced any further problems.

00:11:42

I am fit for duty.

00:11:43

I didn't ask because I'm concerned about your ability to perform.

00:11:46

I'm concerned about you.

00:11:47

There is no need for concern.

00:11:49

Sorry I asked.

00:11:53

My apologies, Commander.

00:11:54

I am distracted.

00:11:56

I spent 14 hours last night in deep meditation trying to determine the source of my aberrant behavior. I could not.

00:12:03

Maybe you should try to forget about it for a while.

00:12:05

I've found that when you don't think about a problem, sometimes the solution comes to you.

00:12:09

It is difficult to forget when you're wearing a neurocortical monitor on your parietal bone.

00:12:14

Good point. Mr. Kim?

00:12:16

I checked all the sensor logs.

00:12:19

There's no sign of anything emanating from the nebula that would have affected Tuvok or Voyager.

00:12:23

Anything unusual about the nebula itself?

00:12:26

No. It's a standard class-17.

00:12:28

I suggest we conduct a tachyon sweep of the nebula.

00:12:32

It would reveal the presence of any cloaked ships.

00:12:34

Cloaked ships?

00:12:37

Yes. We should be extremely cautious this close to Klingon space.

00:12:41

Tuvok, the Klingon Empire is on the other side of the galaxy.

00:12:47

Yes. Yes, you are right, of course.

00:12:51

I'm uncertain why I would make such an obvious error.

00:12:55

Maybe you should go back to Sick Bay.

00:13:01

Tuvok?

00:13:03

Help me, Tuvok!

00:13:04

Please, don't let go!

00:13:06

No!

00:13:27

I think we may be dealing with a repressed memory.

00:13:30

The memory engrams in the dorsal region of the hippocampus are being disrupted.

00:13:34

It's causing physical damage to the surrounding tissue.

00:13:37

In Vulcan medicine, this is known as t'lokan schism.

00:13:40

It means that the subject is inhibiting a traumatic memory, which is beginning to resurface.

00:13:45

And that's causing brain damage?

00:13:47

Strange, I know.

00:13:49

In human subjects, repressed memories are nothing more than psychological traumas, which can be dealt with with standard therapeutic techniques, but in Vulcans, there is a physical reaction to the battle between the conscious and the unconscious.

00:14:00

In extreme cases, the mind of the patient can literally... lobotomize itself.

00:14:05

What's the treatment?

00:14:07

There is no medical treatment for this condition.

00:14:09

Vulcan psychocognitive research suggests that the patient initiate a mind-meld with a family member and the two of them attempt to bring the repressed memory into the conscious mind.

00:14:20

I'm the closest thing

00:14:21

Tuvok has to a family member on this ship.

00:14:23

That's why I've asked you to come.

00:14:25

He has a request to make of you.

00:14:32

Did the Doctor explain the situation to you?

00:14:34

Yes.

00:14:35

Tuvok, are you sure it's the right thing to do?

00:14:39

I don't know how else to proceed.

00:14:42

The Doctor tells me that this is a memory.

00:14:45

And yet, no matter how hard I try,

00:14:48

I cannot remember.

00:14:51

If the Doctor is correct, if this is an experience

00:14:54

I pushed into my unconscious mind, it could be very dangerous to me, even life-threatening.

00:15:02

I realize it's asking a great deal of you, Captain, and I did consider turning to one of the Vulcans on the ship, but this meld would be more intimate than most.

00:15:14

A family member is normally chosen because of the implicit trust that usually exists.

00:15:20

On this ship...

00:15:23

I trust you more than anyone else.

00:15:29

Whatever happens,

00:15:31

I'll be there for you, Tuvok.

00:15:33

I'll help you get through this.

00:15:37

I will initiate the meld and attempt to access the memory fragment.

00:15:42

Once that has been accomplished, you will act as my pyllora.

00:15:45

Your pyllora.

00:15:47

My guide. My counselor.

00:15:50

You will help me reconstruct the memory in its entirety.

00:15:53

And as I am reliving it, you will help me to objectify the experience.

00:15:57

By processing the experience rather than repressing it,

00:16:01

I can begin to overcome my fear, anger and the other emotional responses and to reintegrate the memory into my conscious mind.

00:16:09

When I'm in your memory, will I actually be reliving it with you?

00:16:13

No.

00:16:15

I will be the only one who notices your presence.

00:16:17

You will be an observer in the memory but not a participant.

00:16:22

This will give you the freedom to guide me objectively.

00:16:28

When do we start?

00:16:30

I will need time to prepare.

00:16:32

Please return in one hour.

00:16:48

We're ready when you are, Captain.

00:16:56

Your mind to my mind.

00:16:59

Your thoughts... to my thoughts.

00:17:03

I am taking us back... back to the boy that I was... the boy lying on the precipice.

00:17:12

( alarm blaring )

00:17:14

MAN: Return fire!

00:17:15

MAN 2: They've knocked out our targeting scanners.

00:17:17

( indistinct voices )

00:17:19

TUVOK: Mr. Valtane...

00:17:21

( alarm continues )

00:17:23

Get away from that station!

00:17:24

VALTANE: One more second.

00:17:25

( explosion )

00:17:26

MAN: Damage report!

00:17:35

Seal that conduit!

00:17:36

Hull breach on Deck 12, Section 47.

00:17:39

We've lost power on Decks 5, 6 and 10.

00:17:41

Casualty reports coming in.

00:17:42

19 wounded.

00:17:44

Tuvok, can you see me?

00:17:45

Yes.

00:17:46

Where are we?

00:17:47

My first deep space assignment aboard the Excelsior.

00:17:50

Why did you bring us here?

00:17:51

I did not intend to.

00:17:52

Can you take us to the precipice? The girl?

00:17:55

That is precisely what I attempted to do.

00:17:57

There must be some reason why your mind brought us here.

00:18:00

Maybe this memory is connected to the girl in some way.

00:18:03

How long ago is this?

00:18:05

Stardate 9521.

00:18:07

Approximately 80 years ago.

00:18:08

Who are you fighting?

00:18:10

The Klingons.

00:18:11

Klingons?

00:18:13

Before you collapsed in Engineering, you thought we were approaching Klingon space.

00:18:18

Why are you fighting the Klingons?

00:18:20

This battle was precipitated by an incident that took place three days earlier.

00:18:24

All right, Gamma Shift time to defend the Federation against gaseous anomalies.

00:18:29

Gaseous anomalies?

00:18:31

We were charting a gaseous anomaly on Voyager.

00:18:34

And that's when my problem began.

00:18:35

That's more than a coincidence.

00:18:37

How are you this morning, Ensign?

00:18:38

I am well, Commander. Thank you.

00:18:40

I thought you might like to see some of this morning's com traffic before you went on duty.

00:18:44

There's a message from the Yorktown

00:18:46

I think you might be interested in.

00:18:48

It's from your father.

00:18:49

Thank you.

00:18:51

You're not going to have time to drink that, you know.

00:18:53

You're due on the Bridge in five minutes.

00:18:56

It's not for me. It's for the Captain.

00:18:58

I've observed that Captain Sulu drinks a cup of tea each morning.

00:19:01

I thought he might enjoy a Vulcan blend.

00:19:03

Oh, I see.

00:19:05

Trying to make Lieutenant in your first month?

00:19:07

I wish I'd have thought of that when I was your age.

00:19:11

Took me three years just to make Ensign.

00:19:13

I assure you I have no ulterior motive.

00:19:15

Whatever you say, Ensign.

00:19:17

See you on the Bridge.

00:19:21

You've never brought me tea.

00:19:33

Outstanding.

00:19:35

I may have to give you a promotion.

00:19:37

That was not my motivation, Captain.

00:19:39

I am not attempting to curry favor with you in any way.

00:19:42

Mr. Tuvok, if you're going to remain on my ship, you're going to have to learn how to appreciate a joke.

00:19:49

And don't tell me Vulcans don't have a sense of humor because I know better.

00:19:54

I will... work on it, sir.

00:19:57

Very good. And... thanks again.

00:20:03

He doesn't look anything like his portrait at Starfleet Headquarters.

00:20:06

In the 23rd century, holographic imaging resolution was less accurate.

00:20:12

This is a science station, isn't it?

00:20:14

Yes. I am one of several junior science officers.

00:20:17

Tuvok, why doesn't your service record reflect any of this?

00:20:21

I thought your first assignment was aboard the Wyoming.

00:20:24

It's a long story, Captain, but suffice it to say, this was my first Starfleet career.

00:20:28

I was 29 years old.

00:20:30

So, what's happening?

00:20:31

Are we about to encounter the Klingons?

00:20:33

Not exactly.

00:20:35

The Klingon moon Praxis is about to explode.

00:20:37

Praxis.

00:20:38

During this period, it was a primary source of energy for the Klingon Homeworld.

00:20:41

Praxis... yes.

00:20:44

Its destruction would have lasting repercussions throughout the Quadrant, and it led to the first

00:20:49

Federation-Klingon peace treaty.

00:20:51

That is correct.

00:20:52

But what does all this have to do with the girl on the precipice?

00:21:00

( beeping )

00:21:07

I have an energy wave at 240 degrees, mark 6 port, sir.

00:21:10

Visual.

00:21:12

My... God!

00:21:18

Shields! Shields!

00:21:24

( yelling )

00:21:28

MAN: She is not answering the helm.

00:21:31

Starboard thrusters.

00:21:32

Turn her into the wave.

00:21:33

Aye, sir.

00:21:38

Quarter impulse power.

00:21:40

Damage report.

00:21:42

MAN: Checking all systems, Captain.

00:21:50

Don't tell me that was any meteor shower.

00:21:53

Negative, sir.

00:21:55

The subspace shock wave originated at bearing 323 mark 75.

00:21:59

Location...

00:22:01

It's Praxis, sir.

00:22:02

It's a Klingon moon.

00:22:03

Praxis... is their key energy production facility.

00:22:07

So, what happened? Did you go to Praxis?

00:22:10

No. We were warned off by the Klingons and resumed our survey mission.

00:22:14

However, two days later, we learned that two Starfleet officers were accused of murdering the Klingon Chancellor.

00:22:19

They were brought back to the Klingon Homeworld to stand trial.

00:22:22

Captain Sulu had served under both officers for many years, and he felt an intense loyalty to them.

00:22:29

Helm, set a course for Kronos, maximum warp.

00:22:33

Take us through the Azure Nebula.

00:22:35

That should conceal our approach.

00:22:37

Aye, sir.

00:22:38

I don't get it.

00:22:39

What's going on?

00:22:40

He's about to attempt a rescue of Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy.

00:22:44

As you can see, everyone seemed perfectly willing to go along with this breach of orders.

00:22:49

However, I felt differently.

00:22:52

Captain, am I correct in assuming that you have decided to embark on a rescue mission?

00:22:57

That's right.

00:22:58

Do you have a problem with that, Ensign?

00:23:00

I do.

00:23:01

It is a direct violation of our orders from Starfleet Command, and it could precipitate an armed conflict between the Klingon Empire and the Federation.

00:23:09

Objection noted.

00:23:10

Resume your station.

00:23:12

Sir, as a Starfleet officer, it is my duty to formally protest.

00:23:16

Tuvok...

00:23:17

A pretty bold statement for an Ensign with only... two months space duty under his belt?

00:23:24

I am aware of my limited experience, but I am also very much aware of Starfleet regulations and my obligation to carry them out.

00:23:31

That's enough.

00:23:33

Ensign, you're relieved.

00:23:35

I'm sorry about this, Captain.

00:23:37

I assure you it will not happen again.

00:23:40

Ensign, you're absolutely right, but you're also... absolutely wrong.

00:23:47

You'll find that more happens on the Bridge of a starship than just carrying out orders and observing regulations.

00:23:54

There's a sense of loyalty to the men and women you serve with... a sense of family.

00:24:01

Those two men on trial--

00:24:04

I served with them for a long time.

00:24:07

I owe them my life a dozen times over, and right now, they're in trouble and I'm going to help them.

00:24:14

Let the regulations be damned.

00:24:17

Sir, that is a most illogical line of reasoning.

00:24:20

You better believe it.

00:24:23

Helm, engage.

00:24:28

You know, you did the right thing.

00:24:31

Perhaps.

00:24:43

CREWMAN: Captain, we're approaching the Azure Nebula.

00:24:45

SULU: On screen.

00:24:53

Tuvok... that nebula... it looks very similar to the one we observed on Voyager.

00:25:05

Help me, Tuvok!

00:25:07

Please, don't let go!

00:25:09

No!

00:25:10

( Tuvok gasps )

00:25:12

( instrument beeping )

00:25:14

50 milligrams cordrazine.

00:25:22

DOCTOR: There was a sudden disruption in his hippocampus.

00:25:25

Luckily, he was in Sick Bay or he'd be in a coma right now.

00:25:28

That's the good news.

00:25:30

The bad news is that his synaptic pathways are continuing to degrade.

00:25:33

If the repressed memory keeps resurfacing on its own, it's going to cause more and more damage.

00:25:37

His entire neural structure will collapse, resulting in brain death.

00:25:40

We were just starting to make some progress.

00:25:42

We finally accessed the repressed memory.

00:25:45

I saw Tuvok as a boy... and the girl on the precipice.

00:25:51

Can I talk to him?

00:25:53

Not yet.

00:25:54

He suffered a severe neural trauma, so I'm keeping him sedated for the next few hours.

00:25:58

I'll let you know when it's safe to revive him.

00:26:12

( door chimes )

00:26:13

Come in.

00:26:15

Ah, Ensign, what have you found?

00:26:16

I don't see any connection between this nebula and the one the Excelsior saw 80 years ago.

00:26:21

This one's a class-17, while theirs was an 11.

00:26:25

Both contained trace amounts of sirillium, but that's about all.

00:26:29

But they do look similar.

00:26:30

To the naked eye, but not to sensors.

00:26:33

Technically, they're very different.

00:26:35

You know, I've been talking to the Doctor, and he tells me it's not unusual for a repressed memory to resurface because of a smell or a visual detail.

00:26:45

Maybe the visual similarities between the two nebulas simply triggered Tuvok's memory of the Excelsior.

00:26:50

Well, what about the memory of the little girl?

00:26:53

What does she have to do with Tuvok's experiences on board Sulu's ship?

00:26:57

The Excelsior seemed so far removed from that childhood incident.

00:27:01

Who knows what goes on in a Vulcan's mind?

00:27:04

Maybe there is no connection and going back to the memory of the Excelsior was just an accident, a stray thought Tuvok was having because of the similarities between the two nebulas.

00:27:13

You may be right.

00:27:14

Nevertheless, I've been studying the Excelsior logs.

00:27:17

What do they say?

00:27:19

Unfortunately, they don't say anything at all.

00:27:22

Nothing?

00:27:23

It would seem that Captain Sulu decided not to enter that journey into his official log.

00:27:28

The day's entry makes some cryptic remark about the ship being damaged in a gaseous anomaly and needing repairs but nothing else.

00:27:35

You mean, he falsified his logs.

00:27:39

It was a very different time, Mr. Kim.

00:27:41

Captain Sulu, Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy-- they all belonged to a different breed of Starfleet officer.

00:27:47

Imagine the era they lived in-- the Alpha Quadrant still largely unexplored, humanity on verge of war with Klingons,

00:27:54

Romulans hiding behind every nebula.

00:27:57

Even the technology we take for granted was still in its early stages.

00:28:01

No plasma weapons, no multiphasic shields.

00:28:03

Their ships were half as fast.

00:28:05

No replicators, no holodecks.

00:28:08

You know, ever since I took

00:28:09

Starfleet history at the Academy,

00:28:11

I always wondered what it would be like to live in those days.

00:28:15

Space must have seemed a whole lot bigger back then.

00:28:20

It's not surprising they had to bend the rules a little.

00:28:23

They were a little slower to invoke the Prime Directive and a little quicker to pull their phasers.

00:28:29

Of course, the whole bunch of them would be booted out of Starfleet today, but I have to admit--

00:28:35

I would have loved to ride shotgun at least once with a group of officers like that.

00:28:40

DOCTOR: Sick Bay to Captain Janeway.

00:28:41

Go ahead, Doctor.

00:28:43

I'm ready to revive Mr. Tuvok.

00:28:44

Acknowledged.

00:28:45

I'm on my way.

00:28:55

Several hours after we entered the nebula, we were ambushed by Klingons.

00:28:59

A battle ensued, and we were forced to abort our rescue mission.

00:29:03

Do any of those events seem related to the girl in any way?

00:29:07

No. If there is a connection,

00:29:09

I am not aware of it.

00:29:11

I suggest we attempt another mind-meld and try again to access my memory of the girl.

00:29:16

Agreed.

00:29:17

Doctor.

00:29:30

Your mind to my mind.

00:29:33

Your thoughts to my thoughts.

00:29:36

I am taking us back-- back to the boy that I was... the boy lying on the precipice.

00:29:46

RAND: Hull breach on Deck 12, Section 47.

00:29:48

Tuvok, we're back in the battle with the Klingons again, 80 years ago.

00:29:53

I am at a loss to explain, Captain.

00:29:55

But it's hard to accept this as a coincidence.

00:29:57

Agreed.

00:29:59

I want to go back to the moment when you first saw the nebula.

00:30:02

What happened?

00:30:03

Captain Sulu estimated it would take approximately five hours to traverse the nebula and enter Klingon space.

00:30:10

He decided my shift needed some rest, so we returned to the crew quarters.

00:30:14

I attempted to get some sleep.

00:30:16

However, my bunkmate Dmitri Valtane, felt the need to discuss our situation.

00:30:20

Hey.

00:30:22

Tuvok.

00:30:24

Are you asleep?

00:30:26

No.

00:30:27

Me neither.

00:30:28

I can't believe we're going to do this.

00:30:30

I didn't think the Captain had it in him.

00:30:33

Had what in him?

00:30:34

You know-- the guts to defy an order and run off on some rescue mission to save old friends.

00:30:40

I take it from the tone of your voice, that you admire this trait.

00:30:43

Well, yeah.

00:30:45

It's courageous.

00:30:47

It is illogical and reckless, which I attempted to point out to him on the Bridge.

00:30:50

Oh, come on, Tuvok.

00:30:52

Isn't it more fun than charting gaseous anomalies?

00:30:56

The human fascination with fun has led to many tragedies in your short but violent history.

00:31:01

One wonders how your race has survived having so much fun.

00:31:05

Ooh. Vulcans-- you guys need to relax.

00:31:09

No. I will not relax.

00:31:12

Ever since I entered the Academy,

00:31:14

I've had to endure the egocentric nature of humanity.

00:31:17

You believe that everyone in the galaxy should be like you, that we should all share your sense of humor and your human values.

00:31:24

Well, if you hate it here so much, why'd you join Starfleet in the first place?

00:31:28

I joined under pressure from my parents, but I've already decided to resign my commission once this assignment is complete.

00:31:34

( sighs )

00:31:36

Well, your loss.

00:31:42

Tuvok, did you really mean that?

00:31:51

At this point in my life, yes.

00:31:54

My experiences at the Academy and on board the Excelsior were not pleasant.

00:31:58

I knew you left Starfleet for over 50 years, but I never knew why.

00:32:02

I didn't realize it was because of a conflict with humans.

00:32:05

My perceptions of humanity and Starfleet were undoubtedly colored by the fact that I did not want to be here in the first place.

00:32:12

Your parents really forced you to go to the Academy?

00:32:14

It was their wish and I felt an obligation to fulfill it.

00:32:19

What did you do during those 50 years?

00:32:22

I'd returned to Vulcan where I spent several years in seclusion, immersing myself in the Kolinahr-- a rigorous discipline intended to purge all emotions.

00:32:32

I wanted to attain a state of pure and total logic.

00:32:34

What happened?

00:32:36

Unfortunately, six years into my studies,

00:32:38

I began the Pon farr.

00:32:40

I took a mate.

00:32:42

T'Pel. Yes.

00:32:43

We decided to raise a family together.

00:32:46

So I chose to postpone my studies.

00:32:48

And what brought you back to Starfleet?

00:32:51

Raising children of my own made me appreciate what my parents experienced raising me, and I came to realize that the decisions I made as a young man were not always in my best interest.

00:33:03

I understood their decision to send me to the Academy and that there were many things

00:33:08

I could learn from humans and other species.

00:33:11

So I decided to expand my knowledge of the galaxy.

00:33:14

Starfleet provided that opportunity.

00:33:17

Well, I'm glad you had a change of heart.

00:33:20

As am I, Captain.

00:33:22

Although, "heart" had very little to do with it.

00:33:25

It was a logical decision.

00:33:27

I'm sure it was.

00:33:28

MALE: Red Alert.

00:33:29

All hands to battle stations.

00:33:31

What's going on?

00:33:33

I thought we were still five hours from Klingon space.

00:33:35

A Klingon battle cruiser de-cloaked inside the nebula.

00:33:38

At this moment, they were firing concussive charges across our bow.

00:33:56

RAND: We're being hailed, Captain.

00:33:57

On screen.

00:33:58

KANG: Mr. Sulu,

00:34:00

I see they have finally given you the Captaincy you deserve.

00:34:04

SULU: Thank you, Kang.

00:34:06

Do not let it end prematurely.

00:34:09

Kang, we've been on a survey mission studying this nebula.

00:34:14

Our navigation system malfunctioned and I'm afraid we got lost.

00:34:20

As soon as we've completed repairs, we'll be on our way.

00:34:23

We'd be happy to escort you back to Federation space.

00:34:27

Very generous of you.

00:34:29

But we can manage.

00:34:30

I insist.

00:34:32

Actually, an escort would be welcome.

00:34:36

We'd hate to lose our way again.

00:34:38

Bring your ship about, bearing 181 mark 2.

00:34:43

Nice to see you again, Kang.

00:34:49

VALTANE: Captain Sulu?

00:34:50

Man your station, Lieutenant.

00:34:52

We're not giving up just yet.

00:34:54

Helm, come about.

00:35:05

Tactical status.

00:35:06

They have their forward disruptors trained on us, sir.

00:35:11

Ensign Tuvok, what is the composition of this nebula?

00:35:15

Primarily oxygen and argon with traces of theta-xenon, fluorine and sirillium gas.

00:35:21

Sirillium?

00:35:23

That's a highly combustible substance, isn't it?

00:35:25

Affirmative.

00:35:26

Is there any way we could ignite the sirillium?

00:35:29

If we modulated a positron beam to a subspace frequency, it would trigger a thermochemical reaction in the sirillium.

00:35:35

Like tossing a match into a pool of gasoline.

00:35:38

Would their shields withstand the blast?

00:35:42

Yes. But their sensors and tactical systems would be disrupted for several seconds.

00:35:46

That's all the time we need.

00:35:48

Tuvok, modulate a positron beam and stand by.

00:35:51

We'll ignite the sirillium the instant we clear the nebula.

00:35:54

Helm, prepare to engage maximum warp on my command.

00:35:57

Aye, sir.

00:35:59

All hands, this is the Captain.

00:36:01

Secure stations and batten down the hatches.

00:36:04

The positron beam is charged and ready.

00:36:06

On my mark, Ensign.

00:36:09

We're clearing the nebula.

00:36:11

Mr. Tuvok, light the match.

00:36:23

The Klingon ship's been disabled.

00:36:24

They're not pursuing, sir.

00:36:26

Helm, set a course for Kronos. Engage.

00:36:33

Commander Rand, I want you...

00:36:35

Sir, long-range sensors are detecting three Klingon battle cruisers on an intercept course.

00:36:39

They're arming torpedoes.

00:36:42

Heading, sir?

00:36:43

Maintain course.

00:36:51

Return fire!

00:36:52

They've knocked out our targeting scanners.

00:36:54

Switch to manual!

00:36:58

Mr. Valtane, there's a rupture in the plasma conduit behind your console.

00:37:02

Get away from that station.

00:37:03

One more second.

00:37:04

Dmitri, you must...

00:37:05

( yelling )

00:37:10

Bridge to Sick Bay, medical emergency!

00:37:16

Tuvok...

00:37:22

Tuvok!

00:37:25

Help!

00:37:27

Don't let me fall!

00:37:30

No!

00:37:31

KES: Doctor, what's happening?

00:37:34

Their memory engrams are destabilizing.

00:37:37

Something must be going wrong with the mind-meld.

00:37:39

I'm going to bring them out of it.

00:37:45

KES: It's not working.

00:37:47

Their neural patterns appear to be locked together.

00:37:49

I can't break the meld.

00:37:54

The damage to his synaptic patterns is accelerating.

00:37:56

At this rate, he'll be brain dead in 20 minutes.

00:37:58

Get me a cortical stimulator!

00:38:00

I saw her again, Tuvok-- the girl.

00:38:02

When Valtane died just now, it seemed to cause the memory to resurface.

00:38:08

What is it?

00:38:10

Something's gone wrong with the mind-meld.

00:38:12

Who the hell are you?

00:38:21

Intruder alert!

00:38:22

Get security up here!

00:38:23

What's happening? Why can he see me?

00:38:25

SULU: I asked you a question. Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?

00:38:28

It's an indication the rate of deterioration in my brain has increased.

00:38:31

At advanced stages of a t'lokan schism, memories and thought processes become distorted and confused.

00:38:37

Ensign, do you know this woman?

00:38:38

I will break the meld, Captain.

00:38:39

No, don't.

00:38:41

I think we're getting close to something.

00:38:43

Everything seems to be centered around the death of Valtane.

00:38:45

( rumbling )

00:38:47

Direct hit on the port bow. Shields down to 20 percent.

00:38:50

Losing atmosphere on Decks 5, 6 and 7.

00:38:52

I'll reroute auxiliary power to structural integrity.

00:38:54

( rumbling )

00:38:56

Maybe something happened in that moment between the two of you-- some detail you aren't remembering.

00:39:01

I want you to try and replay those events one more time.

00:39:03

I will try, but I must point out that if my neural structures collapse during the meld, you will suffer brain damage as well.

00:39:10

I understand.

00:39:11

( rumbling )

00:39:12

Take those two to the brig.

00:39:14

Captain, if we replay those events and they see you, it will disrupt the memory again.

00:39:18

Then we've got to find a way to make me inconspicuous.

00:39:25

All right, Gamma Shift, time to defend the Federation against gaseous anomalies.

00:39:30

( crew chuckling )

00:39:32

How are you, Ensign?

00:39:34

Who are you?

00:39:38

We could have just asked her.

00:39:40

Asking female officers for their clothing could lead to misunderstanding.

00:39:45

DOCTOR: I've programmed a cortical stimulator to emit thoron radiation.

00:39:50

We'll bombard his telepathic cortex.

00:39:52

That should be enough to terminate the meld.

00:39:54

We'll begin with a 20-kilodyne burst of five-second duration on my mark.

00:39:58

Now.

00:40:01

It's working.

00:40:02

Their neural patterns are starting to separate.

00:40:05

( console beeps )

00:40:06

My god.

00:40:07

What is it?

00:40:09

That's Tuvok's memory engram.

00:40:10

That's the Captain's.

00:40:12

But this red pattern seems to be another engram.

00:40:14

A third memory engram. How's that possible?

00:40:16

It's not-- which means it can't really be an engram.

00:40:22

From the neurochemical modulation,

00:40:24

I'd say it's something masquerading as an engram.

00:40:26

The way viruses sometimes mimic certain blood factors to avoid being destroyed by antibodies?

00:40:31

So you're saying it's a virus.

00:40:32

I think so.

00:40:33

The thoron radiation must have caused it to manifest itself.

00:40:37

Increasing the radiation level should destroy it.

00:40:40

Go to 40 kilodynes, ten second burst.

00:40:42

Now!

00:40:44

The Klingon ship's been disabled, sir.

00:40:46

They're no longer pursuing.

00:40:47

Helm, set a course for Kronos.

00:40:50

Engage.

00:40:53

Who's at communications?

00:40:55

Commander Rand is supposed to be on duty, sir.

00:40:57

Where is she?

00:40:58

Sir, long-range sensors are detecting three Klingon battle cruisers on an intercept course.

00:41:03

They're arming torpedoes.

00:41:05

Maintain course.

00:41:07

Return fire!

00:41:08

VALTANE: They've knocked out our targeting scanners, sir.

00:41:11

SULU: Switch to manual.

00:41:15

Mr. Valtane, there's a rupture in the plasma conduit behind your console.

00:41:19

Get away from that station.

00:41:20

One more second.

00:41:21

Dmitri, you must...

00:41:22

( yelling )

00:41:27

It's about to happen.

00:41:29

Try to remember every detail about the next few seconds.

00:41:32

Concentrate.

00:41:35

Tuvok...

00:41:38

GIRL: Help me!

00:41:40

Help me, Tuvok!

00:41:41

I saw her, Tuvok.

00:41:43

I saw the girl.

00:41:44

Stay with it.

00:41:45

( sighs )

00:41:47

I am trying.

00:41:48

But my mind is weakening.

00:41:50

This is our last chance.

00:41:53

Take us to the precipice.

00:41:55

Concentrate.

00:41:56

Take us to the girl.

00:42:02

DOCTOR: It's working.

00:42:03

The mind-meld is almost broken and the radiation appears to be killing the virus.

00:42:07

Increase thoron levels to...

00:42:08

( console beeping )

00:42:10

The virus is migrating.

00:42:12

It's embedding itself in the Captain's brain.

00:42:14

Cortical stimulator.

00:42:17

GIRL: Kathryn!

00:42:19

Help me, Kathryn, please!

00:42:21

Don't let go.

00:42:22

Don't let me fall!

00:42:24

No!

00:42:26

Program a 50-kilodyne burst five-second duration on my mark. Now.

00:42:34

Help me, Tuvok!

00:42:36

The virus protein structures are breaking down.

00:42:38

It's dying.

00:42:39

Increase thoron radiation to 80 kilodynes 15 seconds. Now.

00:42:44

GIRL: Help me, Dmitri!

00:42:46

Please, don't let go!

00:42:47

Don't let me fall!

00:42:48

DOCTOR: Again!

00:42:49

Don't let me fall!

00:42:50

No!

00:42:52

No!

00:42:55

No!

00:42:56

No!

00:42:58

No!

00:43:16

DOCTOR: It's clearly a viral parasite of some kind, but its origin and genome classification are not on record.

00:43:22

We were able to kill it using thoron radiation.

00:43:25

What do you know about it?

00:43:26

The virus thrives on peptides generated in the brain.

00:43:30

It evades the body's immune system by disguising itself as a memory engram.

00:43:34

Apparently, the parasite used the childhood memory of the falling girl as camouflage.

00:43:39

Creating a false memory so traumatic that the mind would repress it and that's where it would live, in person after person, hiding in a part of the brain that the conscious mind would want to avoid at all costs.

00:43:50

When it sensed the death of the host, it would leave to find another.

00:43:54

That's why it migrated from Valtane to me.

00:43:56

KES: What about the girl?

00:43:57

Did she ever really exist or did the organism invent the memory?

00:44:01

Memory is a tricky thing.

00:44:04

If it was a real event, it's been buried and copied and twisted so many times there's no way to tell what really happened.

00:44:11

Thank you, Doctor.

00:44:19

I'm curious.

00:44:20

Did the Excelsior ever save Kirk and McCoy?

00:44:22

Not directly.

00:44:24

We were forced to retreat back to Federation space.

00:44:27

As usual, Captain Kirk provided his own means of escape.

00:44:30

But we did play a pivotal role at the subsequent battle at Khitomer.

00:44:34

Mr. Tuvok, if I didn't know you better,

00:44:37

I'd say you miss those days on the Excelsior.

00:44:39

On the contrary.

00:44:41

I do not experience feelings of nostalgia.

00:44:43

But there are times when I think back to those days of meeting Kirk, Spock, and the others, and I am pleased that I was part of it.

00:44:52

In a funny way,

00:44:53

I feel like I was a part of it, too.

00:44:56

Then perhaps you can be nostalgic for both of us.