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00:00:10NEELIX: Anthraxic citrus peel orange juice with just a hint of papalla seed extract-- an experimental blend.
00:00:18The success rate of your culinary experiments has not been high.
00:00:22Ensign Golwat tried some yesterday and she thought it was delicious.
00:00:27In fact, she had a second glass and she never has seconds.
00:00:30Ensign Golwat is Bolian.
00:00:32Her tongue has a cartilaginous lining.
00:00:34It would protect her against even the most corrosive acid.
00:00:38All I ask is that you try it, Mr. Vulcan.
00:00:54Impressive.
00:00:55Ah.
00:00:56I'll start squeezing that second glass.
00:01:00Breakfast is coming right up.
00:01:01Porakan eggs.
00:01:03Porakan?
00:01:04The most flavorful eggs in the sector.
00:01:08Scrambled with a little dill weed, a touch of rengazo-- a galactic favorite.
00:01:15Now, these eggs were not easy to prepare.
00:01:19After we picked them up on Porakas IV,
00:01:21I had to sterilize them in a cryostatic chamber for three days.
00:01:25Then each and every one had to be parboiled...
00:01:28Mr. Neelix, I would prefer not to hear the life history of my breakfast.
00:01:32On Talax, it's a tradition to share the history of a meal before you begin eating.
00:01:38It's a way of enhancing the culinary experience.
00:01:43My mother was brilliant.
00:01:45She could make every course, every garnish come alive by making it a character in a story.
00:01:51My favorite was the one about the crustacean who...
00:01:58What happened?
00:02:00Um, some sort of power overload.
00:02:07I'm afraid it decimated your breakfast.
00:02:09This is what my mother would have called a tragic ending.
00:02:12Engineering has been making adjustments to the plasma conduits to accommodate a new energy source.
00:02:18It may have created a thermal surge in the galley systems.
00:02:20Janeway to Tuvok.
00:02:22Please report to the Bridge.
00:02:23Mr. Neelix, I'd like you to join us as well.
00:02:25Aye, Captain.
00:02:29JANEWAY: Captain's Log, stardate 50126.4.
00:02:33We have detected a gaseous anomaly
00:02:35that contains sirillium--
00:02:36a highly combustible and versatile energy source.
00:02:40We've altered course to investigate.
00:02:43Sirillium?
00:02:45Yes, and possibly large amounts of it.
00:02:47If so, we're going to need to stockpile as much as we can.
00:02:50I'd like to convert Storage Bay 3 into a containment chamber.
00:02:54My pantry. I'm sorry, Neelix.
00:02:56You're going to have to make other arrangements.
00:02:58Of course, Captain.
00:03:00You know, if I injected sirillium into my thermal array, it might improve cooking time.
00:03:05Yes, and blow up half your kitchen in the process.
00:03:07Sirillium is far more useful as a warp plasma catalyst.
00:03:11The gas can also be used to boost deflector shield efficiency.
00:03:14The vultures are circling.
00:03:16Well, there's certainly no shortage of good ideas.
00:03:18Have all department heads submit proposals for sirillium usage.
00:03:21Aye, Captain.
00:03:23TUVOK: The anomaly is within visual range.
00:03:25On screen.
00:03:28Analysis, Mr. Kim.
00:03:29It's a class-17 nebula.
00:03:31I'm detecting standard amounts of hydrogen and helium and 7,000 parts per million of sirillium.
00:03:36TORRES: Captain, I recommend we use the Bussard collectors to gather the sirillium.
00:03:40They'll cut through that nebula like ice cream scoops.
00:03:42PARIS: I'm picking up a lot of plasmatic turbulence in there.
00:03:45It might be a bumpy ride.
00:03:47JANEWAY: Tuvok, can you modify the shields to compensate?
00:03:53Tuvok...
00:03:55Are you all right, Lieutenant?
00:03:59I don't know.
00:04:00I'm experiencing dizziness and... disorientation.
00:04:05Permission to go to Sick Bay.
00:04:07Granted.
00:04:10( door opening )
00:04:13Deck 5.
00:04:15GIRL: Help me!
00:04:22Tuvok!
00:04:24Help me, Tuvok!
00:04:34GIRL: Please, don't let go!
00:04:46Tuvok! Don't let me fall!
00:04:52( panting )
00:04:57No!
00:05:03( door opens )
00:05:05( panting heavily )
00:07:03I was holding a young girl by the hand, trying to prevent her from falling from a precipice.
00:07:08I was unable to keep my grip, and she fell to her death.
00:07:12And there is more.
00:07:15I had an emotional response-- anxiety, fear-- an almost irrational anger at myself for letting her fall.
00:07:23When did that happen?
00:07:25It never happened.
00:07:26The girl was unfamiliar and I've never been in that situation.
00:07:30It was me as a child and it did seem like a memory, but I don't recall the incident.
00:07:39Well, it was definitely a traumatic episode.
00:07:41Your heart rate accelerated to 300 beats per minute your adrenaline levels rose by 113 percent and your neuroelectrical readings nearly jumped off the scale.
00:07:52If you were human, I'd say you had a severe panic attack.
00:07:54I am not human.
00:07:55No kidding.
00:07:57I don't know what happened to you, but there can be any number of explanations-- hallucination, telepathic communication from another race, repressed memory, momentary contact with a parallel reality.
00:08:09Take your pick.
00:08:10The universe is such a strange place.
00:08:12JANEWAY: I'll have Mr. Kim examine the sensor logs.
00:08:14Maybe our proximity to the nebula is affecting you somehow.
00:08:17In the meantime, Lieutenant, you are free to go.
00:08:20All of your vital signs have returned to normal and I don't see any residual systemic damage.
00:08:24But I want you to wear this neurocortical monitor.
00:08:29In case you have another episode, it'll record a complete encephalographic profile and alert Sick Bay at the same time.
00:08:36A wise precaution, Doctor.
00:08:38Thank you.
00:08:47TUVOK: Structure.
00:08:49Logic.
00:08:51Function.
00:08:53Control.
00:08:55A structure cannot stand without a foundation.
00:08:59Logic is the foundation of function.
00:09:03Function... is the essence of control.
00:09:08I am in control.
00:09:13I am in control.
00:09:21( door chimes )
00:09:25Enter.
00:09:28Kes.
00:09:31What is it?
00:09:32The Doctor wanted me to adjust your neurocortical monitor to pick up additional peptide readings.
00:09:37I can come back later if this is a bad time.
00:09:41No.
00:09:43You may proceed.
00:09:49What are you working on?
00:09:51It is called a keethara.
00:09:53Keethara?
00:09:55What does that mean?
00:09:57The approximate translation is "structure of harmony."
00:10:01It is used as a mediational aid.
00:10:04Building it requires precise balance and spatial acuity.
00:10:09It helps to focus thought and refine mental control.
00:10:16At the moment, it doesn't look very harmonious.
00:10:19No. It does not.
00:10:23I'm curious.
00:10:25What does a keethara look like when it's done?
00:10:28The form is not predefined.
00:10:30It is a reflection of the builder's state of mind.
00:10:34Thus, it is different each time.
00:10:37I'd like to see it when it's finished.
00:10:44Well, good night.
00:10:47Kes...
00:10:51It's all right.
00:10:53I understand.
00:11:02Structure.
00:11:04Logic.
00:11:07Function.
00:11:09Control.
00:11:11A structure cannot stand without a foundation.
00:11:17Logic is the foundation... of function.
00:11:23Function is the essence of control.
00:11:28I am in control.
00:11:32I am in... control.
00:11:36CHAKOTAY: So how are you feeling this morning?
00:11:38If you are referring to yesterday's incident,
00:11:40I haven't experienced any further problems.
00:11:42I am fit for duty.
00:11:43I didn't ask because I'm concerned about your ability to perform.
00:11:46I'm concerned about you.
00:11:47There is no need for concern.
00:11:49Sorry I asked.
00:11:53My apologies, Commander.
00:11:54I am distracted.
00:11:56I spent 14 hours last night in deep meditation trying to determine the source of my aberrant behavior. I could not.
00:12:03Maybe you should try to forget about it for a while.
00:12:05I've found that when you don't think about a problem, sometimes the solution comes to you.
00:12:09It is difficult to forget when you're wearing a neurocortical monitor on your parietal bone.
00:12:14Good point. Mr. Kim?
00:12:16I checked all the sensor logs.
00:12:19There's no sign of anything emanating from the nebula that would have affected Tuvok or Voyager.
00:12:23Anything unusual about the nebula itself?
00:12:26No. It's a standard class-17.
00:12:28I suggest we conduct a tachyon sweep of the nebula.
00:12:32It would reveal the presence of any cloaked ships.
00:12:34Cloaked ships?
00:12:37Yes. We should be extremely cautious this close to Klingon space.
00:12:41Tuvok, the Klingon Empire is on the other side of the galaxy.
00:12:47Yes. Yes, you are right, of course.
00:12:51I'm uncertain why I would make such an obvious error.
00:12:55Maybe you should go back to Sick Bay.
00:13:01Tuvok?
00:13:03Help me, Tuvok!
00:13:04Please, don't let go!
00:13:06No!
00:13:27I think we may be dealing with a repressed memory.
00:13:30The memory engrams in the dorsal region of the hippocampus are being disrupted.
00:13:34It's causing physical damage to the surrounding tissue.
00:13:37In Vulcan medicine, this is known as t'lokan schism.
00:13:40It means that the subject is inhibiting a traumatic memory, which is beginning to resurface.
00:13:45And that's causing brain damage?
00:13:47Strange, I know.
00:13:49In human subjects, repressed memories are nothing more than psychological traumas, which can be dealt with with standard therapeutic techniques, but in Vulcans, there is a physical reaction to the battle between the conscious and the unconscious.
00:14:00In extreme cases, the mind of the patient can literally... lobotomize itself.
00:14:05What's the treatment?
00:14:07There is no medical treatment for this condition.
00:14:09Vulcan psychocognitive research suggests that the patient initiate a mind-meld with a family member and the two of them attempt to bring the repressed memory into the conscious mind.
00:14:20I'm the closest thing
00:14:21Tuvok has to a family member on this ship.
00:14:23That's why I've asked you to come.
00:14:25He has a request to make of you.
00:14:32Did the Doctor explain the situation to you?
00:14:34Yes.
00:14:35Tuvok, are you sure it's the right thing to do?
00:14:39I don't know how else to proceed.
00:14:42The Doctor tells me that this is a memory.
00:14:45And yet, no matter how hard I try,
00:14:48I cannot remember.
00:14:51If the Doctor is correct, if this is an experience
00:14:54I pushed into my unconscious mind, it could be very dangerous to me, even life-threatening.
00:15:02I realize it's asking a great deal of you, Captain, and I did consider turning to one of the Vulcans on the ship, but this meld would be more intimate than most.
00:15:14A family member is normally chosen because of the implicit trust that usually exists.
00:15:20On this ship...
00:15:23I trust you more than anyone else.
00:15:29Whatever happens,
00:15:31I'll be there for you, Tuvok.
00:15:33I'll help you get through this.
00:15:37I will initiate the meld and attempt to access the memory fragment.
00:15:42Once that has been accomplished, you will act as my pyllora.
00:15:45Your pyllora.
00:15:47My guide. My counselor.
00:15:50You will help me reconstruct the memory in its entirety.
00:15:53And as I am reliving it, you will help me to objectify the experience.
00:15:57By processing the experience rather than repressing it,
00:16:01I can begin to overcome my fear, anger and the other emotional responses and to reintegrate the memory into my conscious mind.
00:16:09When I'm in your memory, will I actually be reliving it with you?
00:16:13No.
00:16:15I will be the only one who notices your presence.
00:16:17You will be an observer in the memory but not a participant.
00:16:22This will give you the freedom to guide me objectively.
00:16:28When do we start?
00:16:30I will need time to prepare.
00:16:32Please return in one hour.
00:16:48We're ready when you are, Captain.
00:16:56Your mind to my mind.
00:16:59Your thoughts... to my thoughts.
00:17:03I am taking us back... back to the boy that I was... the boy lying on the precipice.
00:17:12( alarm blaring )
00:17:14MAN: Return fire!
00:17:15MAN 2: They've knocked out our targeting scanners.
00:17:17( indistinct voices )
00:17:19TUVOK: Mr. Valtane...
00:17:21( alarm continues )
00:17:23Get away from that station!
00:17:24VALTANE: One more second.
00:17:25( explosion )
00:17:26MAN: Damage report!
00:17:35Seal that conduit!
00:17:36Hull breach on Deck 12, Section 47.
00:17:39We've lost power on Decks 5, 6 and 10.
00:17:41Casualty reports coming in.
00:17:4219 wounded.
00:17:44Tuvok, can you see me?
00:17:45Yes.
00:17:46Where are we?
00:17:47My first deep space assignment aboard the Excelsior.
00:17:50Why did you bring us here?
00:17:51I did not intend to.
00:17:52Can you take us to the precipice? The girl?
00:17:55That is precisely what I attempted to do.
00:17:57There must be some reason why your mind brought us here.
00:18:00Maybe this memory is connected to the girl in some way.
00:18:03How long ago is this?
00:18:05Stardate 9521.
00:18:07Approximately 80 years ago.
00:18:08Who are you fighting?
00:18:10The Klingons.
00:18:11Klingons?
00:18:13Before you collapsed in Engineering, you thought we were approaching Klingon space.
00:18:18Why are you fighting the Klingons?
00:18:20This battle was precipitated by an incident that took place three days earlier.
00:18:24All right, Gamma Shift time to defend the Federation against gaseous anomalies.
00:18:29Gaseous anomalies?
00:18:31We were charting a gaseous anomaly on Voyager.
00:18:34And that's when my problem began.
00:18:35That's more than a coincidence.
00:18:37How are you this morning, Ensign?
00:18:38I am well, Commander. Thank you.
00:18:40I thought you might like to see some of this morning's com traffic before you went on duty.
00:18:44There's a message from the Yorktown
00:18:46I think you might be interested in.
00:18:48It's from your father.
00:18:49Thank you.
00:18:51You're not going to have time to drink that, you know.
00:18:53You're due on the Bridge in five minutes.
00:18:56It's not for me. It's for the Captain.
00:18:58I've observed that Captain Sulu drinks a cup of tea each morning.
00:19:01I thought he might enjoy a Vulcan blend.
00:19:03Oh, I see.
00:19:05Trying to make Lieutenant in your first month?
00:19:07I wish I'd have thought of that when I was your age.
00:19:11Took me three years just to make Ensign.
00:19:13I assure you I have no ulterior motive.
00:19:15Whatever you say, Ensign.
00:19:17See you on the Bridge.
00:19:21You've never brought me tea.
00:19:33Outstanding.
00:19:35I may have to give you a promotion.
00:19:37That was not my motivation, Captain.
00:19:39I am not attempting to curry favor with you in any way.
00:19:42Mr. Tuvok, if you're going to remain on my ship, you're going to have to learn how to appreciate a joke.
00:19:49And don't tell me Vulcans don't have a sense of humor because I know better.
00:19:54I will... work on it, sir.
00:19:57Very good. And... thanks again.
00:20:03He doesn't look anything like his portrait at Starfleet Headquarters.
00:20:06In the 23rd century, holographic imaging resolution was less accurate.
00:20:12This is a science station, isn't it?
00:20:14Yes. I am one of several junior science officers.
00:20:17Tuvok, why doesn't your service record reflect any of this?
00:20:21I thought your first assignment was aboard the Wyoming.
00:20:24It's a long story, Captain, but suffice it to say, this was my first Starfleet career.
00:20:28I was 29 years old.
00:20:30So, what's happening?
00:20:31Are we about to encounter the Klingons?
00:20:33Not exactly.
00:20:35The Klingon moon Praxis is about to explode.
00:20:37Praxis.
00:20:38During this period, it was a primary source of energy for the Klingon Homeworld.
00:20:41Praxis... yes.
00:20:44Its destruction would have lasting repercussions throughout the Quadrant, and it led to the first
00:20:49Federation-Klingon peace treaty.
00:20:51That is correct.
00:20:52But what does all this have to do with the girl on the precipice?
00:21:00( beeping )
00:21:07I have an energy wave at 240 degrees, mark 6 port, sir.
00:21:10Visual.
00:21:12My... God!
00:21:18Shields! Shields!
00:21:24( yelling )
00:21:28MAN: She is not answering the helm.
00:21:31Starboard thrusters.
00:21:32Turn her into the wave.
00:21:33Aye, sir.
00:21:38Quarter impulse power.
00:21:40Damage report.
00:21:42MAN: Checking all systems, Captain.
00:21:50Don't tell me that was any meteor shower.
00:21:53Negative, sir.
00:21:55The subspace shock wave originated at bearing 323 mark 75.
00:21:59Location...
00:22:01It's Praxis, sir.
00:22:02It's a Klingon moon.
00:22:03Praxis... is their key energy production facility.
00:22:07So, what happened? Did you go to Praxis?
00:22:10No. We were warned off by the Klingons and resumed our survey mission.
00:22:14However, two days later, we learned that two Starfleet officers were accused of murdering the Klingon Chancellor.
00:22:19They were brought back to the Klingon Homeworld to stand trial.
00:22:22Captain Sulu had served under both officers for many years, and he felt an intense loyalty to them.
00:22:29Helm, set a course for Kronos, maximum warp.
00:22:33Take us through the Azure Nebula.
00:22:35That should conceal our approach.
00:22:37Aye, sir.
00:22:38I don't get it.
00:22:39What's going on?
00:22:40He's about to attempt a rescue of Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy.
00:22:44As you can see, everyone seemed perfectly willing to go along with this breach of orders.
00:22:49However, I felt differently.
00:22:52Captain, am I correct in assuming that you have decided to embark on a rescue mission?
00:22:57That's right.
00:22:58Do you have a problem with that, Ensign?
00:23:00I do.
00:23:01It is a direct violation of our orders from Starfleet Command, and it could precipitate an armed conflict between the Klingon Empire and the Federation.
00:23:09Objection noted.
00:23:10Resume your station.
00:23:12Sir, as a Starfleet officer, it is my duty to formally protest.
00:23:16Tuvok...
00:23:17A pretty bold statement for an Ensign with only... two months space duty under his belt?
00:23:24I am aware of my limited experience, but I am also very much aware of Starfleet regulations and my obligation to carry them out.
00:23:31That's enough.
00:23:33Ensign, you're relieved.
00:23:35I'm sorry about this, Captain.
00:23:37I assure you it will not happen again.
00:23:40Ensign, you're absolutely right, but you're also... absolutely wrong.
00:23:47You'll find that more happens on the Bridge of a starship than just carrying out orders and observing regulations.
00:23:54There's a sense of loyalty to the men and women you serve with... a sense of family.
00:24:01Those two men on trial--
00:24:04I served with them for a long time.
00:24:07I owe them my life a dozen times over, and right now, they're in trouble and I'm going to help them.
00:24:14Let the regulations be damned.
00:24:17Sir, that is a most illogical line of reasoning.
00:24:20You better believe it.
00:24:23Helm, engage.
00:24:28You know, you did the right thing.
00:24:31Perhaps.
00:24:43CREWMAN: Captain, we're approaching the Azure Nebula.
00:24:45SULU: On screen.
00:24:53Tuvok... that nebula... it looks very similar to the one we observed on Voyager.
00:25:05Help me, Tuvok!
00:25:07Please, don't let go!
00:25:09No!
00:25:10( Tuvok gasps )
00:25:12( instrument beeping )
00:25:1450 milligrams cordrazine.
00:25:22DOCTOR: There was a sudden disruption in his hippocampus.
00:25:25Luckily, he was in Sick Bay or he'd be in a coma right now.
00:25:28That's the good news.
00:25:30The bad news is that his synaptic pathways are continuing to degrade.
00:25:33If the repressed memory keeps resurfacing on its own, it's going to cause more and more damage.
00:25:37His entire neural structure will collapse, resulting in brain death.
00:25:40We were just starting to make some progress.
00:25:42We finally accessed the repressed memory.
00:25:45I saw Tuvok as a boy... and the girl on the precipice.
00:25:51Can I talk to him?
00:25:53Not yet.
00:25:54He suffered a severe neural trauma, so I'm keeping him sedated for the next few hours.
00:25:58I'll let you know when it's safe to revive him.
00:26:12( door chimes )
00:26:13Come in.
00:26:15Ah, Ensign, what have you found?
00:26:16I don't see any connection between this nebula and the one the Excelsior saw 80 years ago.
00:26:21This one's a class-17, while theirs was an 11.
00:26:25Both contained trace amounts of sirillium, but that's about all.
00:26:29But they do look similar.
00:26:30To the naked eye, but not to sensors.
00:26:33Technically, they're very different.
00:26:35You know, I've been talking to the Doctor, and he tells me it's not unusual for a repressed memory to resurface because of a smell or a visual detail.
00:26:45Maybe the visual similarities between the two nebulas simply triggered Tuvok's memory of the Excelsior.
00:26:50Well, what about the memory of the little girl?
00:26:53What does she have to do with Tuvok's experiences on board Sulu's ship?
00:26:57The Excelsior seemed so far removed from that childhood incident.
00:27:01Who knows what goes on in a Vulcan's mind?
00:27:04Maybe there is no connection and going back to the memory of the Excelsior was just an accident, a stray thought Tuvok was having because of the similarities between the two nebulas.
00:27:13You may be right.
00:27:14Nevertheless, I've been studying the Excelsior logs.
00:27:17What do they say?
00:27:19Unfortunately, they don't say anything at all.
00:27:22Nothing?
00:27:23It would seem that Captain Sulu decided not to enter that journey into his official log.
00:27:28The day's entry makes some cryptic remark about the ship being damaged in a gaseous anomaly and needing repairs but nothing else.
00:27:35You mean, he falsified his logs.
00:27:39It was a very different time, Mr. Kim.
00:27:41Captain Sulu, Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy-- they all belonged to a different breed of Starfleet officer.
00:27:47Imagine the era they lived in-- the Alpha Quadrant still largely unexplored, humanity on verge of war with Klingons,
00:27:54Romulans hiding behind every nebula.
00:27:57Even the technology we take for granted was still in its early stages.
00:28:01No plasma weapons, no multiphasic shields.
00:28:03Their ships were half as fast.
00:28:05No replicators, no holodecks.
00:28:08You know, ever since I took
00:28:09Starfleet history at the Academy,
00:28:11I always wondered what it would be like to live in those days.
00:28:15Space must have seemed a whole lot bigger back then.
00:28:20It's not surprising they had to bend the rules a little.
00:28:23They were a little slower to invoke the Prime Directive and a little quicker to pull their phasers.
00:28:29Of course, the whole bunch of them would be booted out of Starfleet today, but I have to admit--
00:28:35I would have loved to ride shotgun at least once with a group of officers like that.
00:28:40DOCTOR: Sick Bay to Captain Janeway.
00:28:41Go ahead, Doctor.
00:28:43I'm ready to revive Mr. Tuvok.
00:28:44Acknowledged.
00:28:45I'm on my way.
00:28:55Several hours after we entered the nebula, we were ambushed by Klingons.
00:28:59A battle ensued, and we were forced to abort our rescue mission.
00:29:03Do any of those events seem related to the girl in any way?
00:29:07No. If there is a connection,
00:29:09I am not aware of it.
00:29:11I suggest we attempt another mind-meld and try again to access my memory of the girl.
00:29:16Agreed.
00:29:17Doctor.
00:29:30Your mind to my mind.
00:29:33Your thoughts to my thoughts.
00:29:36I am taking us back-- back to the boy that I was... the boy lying on the precipice.
00:29:46RAND: Hull breach on Deck 12, Section 47.
00:29:48Tuvok, we're back in the battle with the Klingons again, 80 years ago.
00:29:53I am at a loss to explain, Captain.
00:29:55But it's hard to accept this as a coincidence.
00:29:57Agreed.
00:29:59I want to go back to the moment when you first saw the nebula.
00:30:02What happened?
00:30:03Captain Sulu estimated it would take approximately five hours to traverse the nebula and enter Klingon space.
00:30:10He decided my shift needed some rest, so we returned to the crew quarters.
00:30:14I attempted to get some sleep.
00:30:16However, my bunkmate Dmitri Valtane, felt the need to discuss our situation.
00:30:20Hey.
00:30:22Tuvok.
00:30:24Are you asleep?
00:30:26No.
00:30:27Me neither.
00:30:28I can't believe we're going to do this.
00:30:30I didn't think the Captain had it in him.
00:30:33Had what in him?
00:30:34You know-- the guts to defy an order and run off on some rescue mission to save old friends.
00:30:40I take it from the tone of your voice, that you admire this trait.
00:30:43Well, yeah.
00:30:45It's courageous.
00:30:47It is illogical and reckless, which I attempted to point out to him on the Bridge.
00:30:50Oh, come on, Tuvok.
00:30:52Isn't it more fun than charting gaseous anomalies?
00:30:56The human fascination with fun has led to many tragedies in your short but violent history.
00:31:01One wonders how your race has survived having so much fun.
00:31:05Ooh. Vulcans-- you guys need to relax.
00:31:09No. I will not relax.
00:31:12Ever since I entered the Academy,
00:31:14I've had to endure the egocentric nature of humanity.
00:31:17You believe that everyone in the galaxy should be like you, that we should all share your sense of humor and your human values.
00:31:24Well, if you hate it here so much, why'd you join Starfleet in the first place?
00:31:28I joined under pressure from my parents, but I've already decided to resign my commission once this assignment is complete.
00:31:34( sighs )
00:31:36Well, your loss.
00:31:42Tuvok, did you really mean that?
00:31:51At this point in my life, yes.
00:31:54My experiences at the Academy and on board the Excelsior were not pleasant.
00:31:58I knew you left Starfleet for over 50 years, but I never knew why.
00:32:02I didn't realize it was because of a conflict with humans.
00:32:05My perceptions of humanity and Starfleet were undoubtedly colored by the fact that I did not want to be here in the first place.
00:32:12Your parents really forced you to go to the Academy?
00:32:14It was their wish and I felt an obligation to fulfill it.
00:32:19What did you do during those 50 years?
00:32:22I'd returned to Vulcan where I spent several years in seclusion, immersing myself in the Kolinahr-- a rigorous discipline intended to purge all emotions.
00:32:32I wanted to attain a state of pure and total logic.
00:32:34What happened?
00:32:36Unfortunately, six years into my studies,
00:32:38I began the Pon farr.
00:32:40I took a mate.
00:32:42T'Pel. Yes.
00:32:43We decided to raise a family together.
00:32:46So I chose to postpone my studies.
00:32:48And what brought you back to Starfleet?
00:32:51Raising children of my own made me appreciate what my parents experienced raising me, and I came to realize that the decisions I made as a young man were not always in my best interest.
00:33:03I understood their decision to send me to the Academy and that there were many things
00:33:08I could learn from humans and other species.
00:33:11So I decided to expand my knowledge of the galaxy.
00:33:14Starfleet provided that opportunity.
00:33:17Well, I'm glad you had a change of heart.
00:33:20As am I, Captain.
00:33:22Although, "heart" had very little to do with it.
00:33:25It was a logical decision.
00:33:27I'm sure it was.
00:33:28MALE: Red Alert.
00:33:29All hands to battle stations.
00:33:31What's going on?
00:33:33I thought we were still five hours from Klingon space.
00:33:35A Klingon battle cruiser de-cloaked inside the nebula.
00:33:38At this moment, they were firing concussive charges across our bow.
00:33:56RAND: We're being hailed, Captain.
00:33:57On screen.
00:33:58KANG: Mr. Sulu,
00:34:00I see they have finally given you the Captaincy you deserve.
00:34:04SULU: Thank you, Kang.
00:34:06Do not let it end prematurely.
00:34:09Kang, we've been on a survey mission studying this nebula.
00:34:14Our navigation system malfunctioned and I'm afraid we got lost.
00:34:20As soon as we've completed repairs, we'll be on our way.
00:34:23We'd be happy to escort you back to Federation space.
00:34:27Very generous of you.
00:34:29But we can manage.
00:34:30I insist.
00:34:32Actually, an escort would be welcome.
00:34:36We'd hate to lose our way again.
00:34:38Bring your ship about, bearing 181 mark 2.
00:34:43Nice to see you again, Kang.
00:34:49VALTANE: Captain Sulu?
00:34:50Man your station, Lieutenant.
00:34:52We're not giving up just yet.
00:34:54Helm, come about.
00:35:05Tactical status.
00:35:06They have their forward disruptors trained on us, sir.
00:35:11Ensign Tuvok, what is the composition of this nebula?
00:35:15Primarily oxygen and argon with traces of theta-xenon, fluorine and sirillium gas.
00:35:21Sirillium?
00:35:23That's a highly combustible substance, isn't it?
00:35:25Affirmative.
00:35:26Is there any way we could ignite the sirillium?
00:35:29If we modulated a positron beam to a subspace frequency, it would trigger a thermochemical reaction in the sirillium.
00:35:35Like tossing a match into a pool of gasoline.
00:35:38Would their shields withstand the blast?
00:35:42Yes. But their sensors and tactical systems would be disrupted for several seconds.
00:35:46That's all the time we need.
00:35:48Tuvok, modulate a positron beam and stand by.
00:35:51We'll ignite the sirillium the instant we clear the nebula.
00:35:54Helm, prepare to engage maximum warp on my command.
00:35:57Aye, sir.
00:35:59All hands, this is the Captain.
00:36:01Secure stations and batten down the hatches.
00:36:04The positron beam is charged and ready.
00:36:06On my mark, Ensign.
00:36:09We're clearing the nebula.
00:36:11Mr. Tuvok, light the match.
00:36:23The Klingon ship's been disabled.
00:36:24They're not pursuing, sir.
00:36:26Helm, set a course for Kronos. Engage.
00:36:33Commander Rand, I want you...
00:36:35Sir, long-range sensors are detecting three Klingon battle cruisers on an intercept course.
00:36:39They're arming torpedoes.
00:36:42Heading, sir?
00:36:43Maintain course.
00:36:51Return fire!
00:36:52They've knocked out our targeting scanners.
00:36:54Switch to manual!
00:36:58Mr. Valtane, there's a rupture in the plasma conduit behind your console.
00:37:02Get away from that station.
00:37:03One more second.
00:37:04Dmitri, you must...
00:37:05( yelling )
00:37:10Bridge to Sick Bay, medical emergency!
00:37:16Tuvok...
00:37:22Tuvok!
00:37:25Help!
00:37:27Don't let me fall!
00:37:30No!
00:37:31KES: Doctor, what's happening?
00:37:34Their memory engrams are destabilizing.
00:37:37Something must be going wrong with the mind-meld.
00:37:39I'm going to bring them out of it.
00:37:45KES: It's not working.
00:37:47Their neural patterns appear to be locked together.
00:37:49I can't break the meld.
00:37:54The damage to his synaptic patterns is accelerating.
00:37:56At this rate, he'll be brain dead in 20 minutes.
00:37:58Get me a cortical stimulator!
00:38:00I saw her again, Tuvok-- the girl.
00:38:02When Valtane died just now, it seemed to cause the memory to resurface.
00:38:08What is it?
00:38:10Something's gone wrong with the mind-meld.
00:38:12Who the hell are you?
00:38:21Intruder alert!
00:38:22Get security up here!
00:38:23What's happening? Why can he see me?
00:38:25SULU: I asked you a question. Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?
00:38:28It's an indication the rate of deterioration in my brain has increased.
00:38:31At advanced stages of a t'lokan schism, memories and thought processes become distorted and confused.
00:38:37Ensign, do you know this woman?
00:38:38I will break the meld, Captain.
00:38:39No, don't.
00:38:41I think we're getting close to something.
00:38:43Everything seems to be centered around the death of Valtane.
00:38:45( rumbling )
00:38:47Direct hit on the port bow. Shields down to 20 percent.
00:38:50Losing atmosphere on Decks 5, 6 and 7.
00:38:52I'll reroute auxiliary power to structural integrity.
00:38:54( rumbling )
00:38:56Maybe something happened in that moment between the two of you-- some detail you aren't remembering.
00:39:01I want you to try and replay those events one more time.
00:39:03I will try, but I must point out that if my neural structures collapse during the meld, you will suffer brain damage as well.
00:39:10I understand.
00:39:11( rumbling )
00:39:12Take those two to the brig.
00:39:14Captain, if we replay those events and they see you, it will disrupt the memory again.
00:39:18Then we've got to find a way to make me inconspicuous.
00:39:25All right, Gamma Shift, time to defend the Federation against gaseous anomalies.
00:39:30( crew chuckling )
00:39:32How are you, Ensign?
00:39:34Who are you?
00:39:38We could have just asked her.
00:39:40Asking female officers for their clothing could lead to misunderstanding.
00:39:45DOCTOR: I've programmed a cortical stimulator to emit thoron radiation.
00:39:50We'll bombard his telepathic cortex.
00:39:52That should be enough to terminate the meld.
00:39:54We'll begin with a 20-kilodyne burst of five-second duration on my mark.
00:39:58Now.
00:40:01It's working.
00:40:02Their neural patterns are starting to separate.
00:40:05( console beeps )
00:40:06My god.
00:40:07What is it?
00:40:09That's Tuvok's memory engram.
00:40:10That's the Captain's.
00:40:12But this red pattern seems to be another engram.
00:40:14A third memory engram. How's that possible?
00:40:16It's not-- which means it can't really be an engram.
00:40:22From the neurochemical modulation,
00:40:24I'd say it's something masquerading as an engram.
00:40:26The way viruses sometimes mimic certain blood factors to avoid being destroyed by antibodies?
00:40:31So you're saying it's a virus.
00:40:32I think so.
00:40:33The thoron radiation must have caused it to manifest itself.
00:40:37Increasing the radiation level should destroy it.
00:40:40Go to 40 kilodynes, ten second burst.
00:40:42Now!
00:40:44The Klingon ship's been disabled, sir.
00:40:46They're no longer pursuing.
00:40:47Helm, set a course for Kronos.
00:40:50Engage.
00:40:53Who's at communications?
00:40:55Commander Rand is supposed to be on duty, sir.
00:40:57Where is she?
00:40:58Sir, long-range sensors are detecting three Klingon battle cruisers on an intercept course.
00:41:03They're arming torpedoes.
00:41:05Maintain course.
00:41:07Return fire!
00:41:08VALTANE: They've knocked out our targeting scanners, sir.
00:41:11SULU: Switch to manual.
00:41:15Mr. Valtane, there's a rupture in the plasma conduit behind your console.
00:41:19Get away from that station.
00:41:20One more second.
00:41:21Dmitri, you must...
00:41:22( yelling )
00:41:27It's about to happen.
00:41:29Try to remember every detail about the next few seconds.
00:41:32Concentrate.
00:41:35Tuvok...
00:41:38GIRL: Help me!
00:41:40Help me, Tuvok!
00:41:41I saw her, Tuvok.
00:41:43I saw the girl.
00:41:44Stay with it.
00:41:45( sighs )
00:41:47I am trying.
00:41:48But my mind is weakening.
00:41:50This is our last chance.
00:41:53Take us to the precipice.
00:41:55Concentrate.
00:41:56Take us to the girl.
00:42:02DOCTOR: It's working.
00:42:03The mind-meld is almost broken and the radiation appears to be killing the virus.
00:42:07Increase thoron levels to...
00:42:08( console beeping )
00:42:10The virus is migrating.
00:42:12It's embedding itself in the Captain's brain.
00:42:14Cortical stimulator.
00:42:17GIRL: Kathryn!
00:42:19Help me, Kathryn, please!
00:42:21Don't let go.
00:42:22Don't let me fall!
00:42:24No!
00:42:26Program a 50-kilodyne burst five-second duration on my mark. Now.
00:42:34Help me, Tuvok!
00:42:36The virus protein structures are breaking down.
00:42:38It's dying.
00:42:39Increase thoron radiation to 80 kilodynes 15 seconds. Now.
00:42:44GIRL: Help me, Dmitri!
00:42:46Please, don't let go!
00:42:47Don't let me fall!
00:42:48DOCTOR: Again!
00:42:49Don't let me fall!
00:42:50No!
00:42:52No!
00:42:55No!
00:42:56No!
00:42:58No!
00:43:16DOCTOR: It's clearly a viral parasite of some kind, but its origin and genome classification are not on record.
00:43:22We were able to kill it using thoron radiation.
00:43:25What do you know about it?
00:43:26The virus thrives on peptides generated in the brain.
00:43:30It evades the body's immune system by disguising itself as a memory engram.
00:43:34Apparently, the parasite used the childhood memory of the falling girl as camouflage.
00:43:39Creating a false memory so traumatic that the mind would repress it and that's where it would live, in person after person, hiding in a part of the brain that the conscious mind would want to avoid at all costs.
00:43:50When it sensed the death of the host, it would leave to find another.
00:43:54That's why it migrated from Valtane to me.
00:43:56KES: What about the girl?
00:43:57Did she ever really exist or did the organism invent the memory?
00:44:01Memory is a tricky thing.
00:44:04If it was a real event, it's been buried and copied and twisted so many times there's no way to tell what really happened.
00:44:11Thank you, Doctor.
00:44:19I'm curious.
00:44:20Did the Excelsior ever save Kirk and McCoy?
00:44:22Not directly.
00:44:24We were forced to retreat back to Federation space.
00:44:27As usual, Captain Kirk provided his own means of escape.
00:44:30But we did play a pivotal role at the subsequent battle at Khitomer.
00:44:34Mr. Tuvok, if I didn't know you better,
00:44:37I'd say you miss those days on the Excelsior.
00:44:39On the contrary.
00:44:41I do not experience feelings of nostalgia.
00:44:43But there are times when I think back to those days of meeting Kirk, Spock, and the others, and I am pleased that I was part of it.
00:44:52In a funny way,
00:44:53I feel like I was a part of it, too.
00:44:56Then perhaps you can be nostalgic for both of us.