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00:00:07DOCTOR: Turn 90 degrees to the left please.
00:00:10Turn 90 degrees to the left please.
00:00:13Turn 90 degrees to the right please.
00:00:17About face.
00:00:24Try to hold still, please.
00:00:25Is it going to hurt?
00:00:27Of course not.
00:00:29A few photons never hurt anybody.
00:00:33We didn't do this last year.
00:00:37That's because last year, I didn't realize what an exciting tool my holo-imager could be in the pursuit of medical knowledge.
00:00:45Is something wrong with me?
00:00:47Your health is excellent.
00:00:49This is just another way to make sure that it stays excellent.
00:00:52Does my mother have to do this?
00:00:54Your mother and everybody else on board.
00:00:56I've made it part of the annual checkup.
00:00:58It's quite handy really.
00:01:00By attuning the resonance spectrum along a subspace band,
00:01:03I can take an image of my patients all the way down to the subatomic level.
00:01:07Subatomic level?
00:01:08I thought you said this wasn't going to hurt.
00:01:10I did...and it won't.
00:01:16There...see?
00:01:18Nothing to it.
00:01:19Try to hold still please.
00:01:23Are you making fun of me?
00:01:25No.
00:01:28It'll only take a second to download your images into the medical database, if you'd like to stay for a moment, and see what you look like from the inside out.
00:01:36Why not?
00:01:39Here we go.
00:01:54Handsome fellow.
00:01:58Hmm.
00:02:05There's some scar tissue along the base of your lower skull.
00:02:09Computer, isolate the occipital plexus, magnification 500.
00:02:14There.
00:02:16Scarring along the dura mater.
00:02:18From what?
00:02:19An operation.
00:02:21Computer, isolate the cranial meninges, magnification 100.
00:02:28More scarring.
00:02:30No doubt about it, somebody performed neurosurgery.
00:02:36And that somebody... was me.
00:02:40These microlinear incisions are a dead giveaway.
00:02:43I developed that procedure myself.
00:02:45I don't understand.
00:02:47I don't remember having an operation.
00:02:49I'm a little confused as well... because I don't remember performing it.
00:04:50( door chimes )
00:04:51Who is it?
00:04:52DOCTOR: The Doctor.
00:04:54Come in.
00:04:56I've finished giving the crew their annual physicals.
00:04:58But as usual, the Captain was a no-show.
00:05:01Let's get it over with.
00:05:03Specific complaints?
00:05:04None. How's the crew?
00:05:06In good health, for the most part.
00:05:08I found a nascent alien retrovirus bouncing between personnel on Decks ten and 11, but managed to nip it in the bud.
00:05:15And there's been a little more wear and tear on Seven of Nine's cranial infrastructure.
00:05:19I'm going to double her maintenance routine.
00:05:21Cyto-metabolism is normal.
00:05:23Endocrine functions functioning.
00:05:25That's a relief.
00:05:29I'd like you to drop by Sick Bay at your earliest convenience.
00:05:32I've adjusted my holo-imager for deep body scans.
00:05:34You're the only member of the crew who hasn't posed for me yet.
00:05:37Maybe next week.
00:05:39It's a fine instrument, really.
00:05:41I've already discovered something of a mystery with it.
00:05:44Apparently, I performed a complex neurosurgery on Harry Kim.
00:05:48According to the isotope decay, around the scars, it was 18 months ago.
00:05:53I don't remember that.
00:05:54Neither do I and... neither does the patient.
00:05:57I checked my medical entries for that period.
00:05:59There's no mention of surgery.
00:06:01Could your holo-imager have misinterpreted the scans?
00:06:03Possibly.
00:06:05The computer is double-checking the data now.
00:06:08I'd also like to run a complete diagnostic on my own program, and have a look at my memory files.
00:06:13B'Elanna and Harry are both busy with the plasma relay repairs.
00:06:16Let's make sure you're next up on the list.
00:06:18Thank you, Doctor.
00:06:29Hello, Seven.
00:06:30Doctor.
00:06:31I'm here to ask you a favor.
00:06:33Another time.
00:06:34I beg your pardon?
00:06:35I am recalibrating the deflector dish.
00:06:37Come back tomorrow.
00:06:38I should be finished by then.
00:06:40( sighs )
00:06:41Looks like I'm two for two.
00:06:43Oh, the Captain's acting like she's allergic to me, and now my prized pupil won't even give me the time of day.
00:06:53State your request.
00:06:55A little mystery has cropped up, evidence that I performed surgery on Ensign Kim a year and a half ago, before you came aboard.
00:07:03The trouble is...
00:07:06I don't remember it.
00:07:09I wanted you to help me run a self-diagnostic.
00:07:12I will assist you... in one hour.
00:07:15Fair enough.
00:07:29Computer, locate the Emergency Medical Hologram.
00:07:32COMPUTER: The EMH is inactive.
00:07:34Activate him.
00:07:35Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
00:07:38I'm here to assist you, as I agreed.
00:07:40I've run a preliminary diagnostic of your program.
00:07:43Your suspicions were correct.
00:07:45I never asked you to run a diagnostic.
00:07:47Suspicions? What are you talking about?
00:07:49You don't recall speaking to me in the Astrometrics Lab one hour ago.
00:07:52No.
00:07:54The last I remember,
00:07:56I was completing the yearly physicals.
00:07:57You mentioned a neurosurgery you performed on Ensign Kim 18 months ago.
00:08:01Computer, locate the holo-scans
00:08:04I took of Ensign Kim this morning.
00:08:07Any operation would show up on--
00:08:09COMPUTER: Unavailable. That file has been deleted.
00:08:13Let's have a look at my program.
00:08:18A deletion in your short-term memory buffer.
00:08:21Our chat in Astrometrics never got filed.
00:08:24That's why I can't remember it.
00:08:26Hmm...
00:08:27If I were given to paranoia,
00:08:29I'd say someone is trying to keep me from finding out what happened 18 months ago.
00:08:34Hmm...
00:08:37My photo album.
00:08:38Doctor...
00:08:40I was quite a shutterbug back then.
00:08:41Not a day went by when I didn't record an image for posterity.
00:08:45Let's have a walk down memory lane.
00:08:47Meet me on Holodeck 2.
00:08:57Computer, display all holo-images taken on Stardate 50979.
00:09:01COMPUTER: Those holo-images have been deleted.
00:09:03Deleted? By whom?
00:09:06COMPUTER: Unknown.
00:09:10I'm detecting residual photons in the holo-buffer.
00:09:15It may be possible to partially reconstruct the images.
00:09:18Try.
00:09:22I've restored five images.
00:09:23They are degraded but intact.
00:09:25Let's see them.
00:09:29The Mess Hall.
00:09:30Do you remember this? No.
00:09:33Who is that? The Ensign.
00:09:37It seems to be her birthday.
00:09:40I've never seen her before.
00:09:44The Ensign again.
00:09:46I never went on a shuttle mission with Harry Kim, and certainly not with her.
00:09:53And again.
00:10:15I've isolated your memory files from Stardate 50979.
00:10:18They weren't deleted?
00:10:19No.
00:10:20Then why can't I remember them?
00:10:22The program was rewritten to deny you access to those memories.
00:10:26I'm trying to restore them.
00:10:30Here, here.
00:10:31ALL: Here, here.
00:10:33DOCTOR: Say cheese.
00:10:34ALL: Cheese. Cheese.
00:10:37What happened?
00:10:39I was in the Mess Hall.
00:10:40The files are difficult to localize.
00:10:42The memories will be out of sequence.
00:10:49What was that?
00:10:50Our sensors are dead.
00:10:51PARIS: Make a wish.
00:10:55They've stopped.
00:10:56One moment.
00:11:03Make a wish.
00:11:13I'm gonna kill you.
00:11:20Ensign, I haven't seen you in months.
00:11:22The price I pay for staying in good health, I guess.
00:11:25Acetylcholine, 25 microliters.
00:11:29( alarm bleeping )
00:11:31It's not helping.
00:11:32I'm reading massive synaptic failure.
00:11:34That doesn't make any sense.
00:11:43This is the last one.
00:11:44Say cheese.
00:11:45Cheese. Cheese.
00:11:56Call the Captain.
00:12:05I don't recognize this species. Seven?
00:12:08They are unknown to the Borg.
00:12:10Perhaps these images have been manipulated.
00:12:12No. They're real.
00:12:13The image buffer would've shown signs of tampering.
00:12:16I have a different theory.
00:12:18I believe there was an attack on Voyager by this species, and all our memories of the event were erased.
00:12:26This is the unknown crewman I told you about,
00:12:29Ensign Jetal.
00:12:30The question is, who was she?
00:12:34An alien intruder posing as a Starfleet Ensign?
00:12:37Of course, it's impossible to tell from a photograph, but one thing is certain, we are in immediate danger.
00:12:43How so?
00:12:46Only a few hours ago, as I was beginning this investigation, someone shut down my program, and eliminated all my memories of the last 24 hours.
00:12:55An intruder may be on board.
00:12:59Run a deck-by-deck security sweep.
00:13:01Understood.
00:13:03Report to the Astrometrics Lab and recalibrate the sensors.
00:13:05See if you can detect any cloaked vessels nearby.
00:13:08I'll review the medical records of the rest of the crew.
00:13:11Ensign Kim may not have been the only one who was injured during the attack.
00:13:14No. I want you to deactivate yourself for now.
00:13:16We'll erect a security field around the main computer, and encrypt all pathways leading to your program.
00:13:21If someone does try to tamper with you again,
00:13:23I want to be ready.
00:13:24Captain--
00:13:26It's for your own safety, Doctor.
00:13:27Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
00:13:29You will keep me informed?
00:13:30Absolutely.
00:13:32Dismissed.
00:13:51Computer...transfer my program from the mobile emitter to the Sick Bay systems.
00:13:56COMPUTER: Transfer complete.
00:14:01Computer...
00:14:06Duplicate all of my memory files recorded within the last 48 hours.
00:14:11COMPUTER: Duplication complete.
00:14:13Now...I'm going offline.
00:14:18If my program is altered without my authorization, reactivate me and restore the duplicate memory files.
00:14:25Interface with the holo-imaging device.
00:14:27If anybody enters this room, commence imaging in five second intervals.
00:14:32COMPUTER: Acknowledged.
00:14:38Computer, deactivate EMH.
00:14:41( computer beeps )
00:14:55( door opens, closes )
00:15:17( footsteps approaching )
00:15:18( door opens, closes )
00:15:25Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
00:15:31Hello?
00:15:33COMPUTER: Restoring memory files.
00:15:38Restoration complete.
00:16:14Believe me, I was there.
00:16:15So was I.
00:16:17TUVOK: Commander Chakotay is correct.
00:16:19Oh? And how would you know?
00:16:20In my youth, I studied many forms of martial art, including the sumo of Earth.
00:16:25I've followed the sport ever since.
00:16:27It was the 77th Emperor's Cup.
00:16:29Takashi forced Kar-pek out of the circle in less than three seconds.
00:16:33I had a fifth row seat.
00:16:35CHAKOTAY: Then you must have been ordering sake, because Takashi's knee broke the sand, and the referee gave the match to Kar-pek.
00:16:41TUVOK: Exactly.
00:16:43If this is another house call, it'll have to wait.
00:16:45As you can see, I've got a mutiny on my hands.
00:16:48A mutiny? I suppose that's better than a conspiracy.
00:16:54Doctor.
00:16:56Tell her, Captain.
00:16:57Describe how you tampered with my program, how it was you all along.
00:17:03Perhaps you should accompany me to Sick Bay, Doctor.
00:17:07Et tu, Tuvok?
00:17:10You're conspiring against me, all of you.
00:17:12Why?
00:17:16In my ready room.
00:17:25You've been manipulating my program.
00:17:27Don't deny it.
00:17:28I don't intend to.
00:17:30But...the alien ship, the intruder, did that attack actually happen?
00:17:34Yes. You were damaged during the incident.
00:17:37"Damaged"?
00:17:39It caused a conflict in your programming that couldn't be resolved.
00:17:42What kind of conflict?
00:17:43I had no choice but to deny you access to your memories of those events.
00:17:47What kind of conflict?
00:17:49If I told you that, I might set the whole thing in motion again.
00:17:52This "conflict" in my programming...
00:17:54Yes? that's not good enough.
00:17:55It'll have to be. Captain!
00:17:57I've made a command decision for your own benefit, and the welfare of this entire crew.
00:18:01I'm not willing to debate it.
00:18:02How would you like it if I operated on you without your consent or without your knowledge?
00:18:06If the operation saved my life? I could live with it.
00:18:09I don't believe you.
00:18:10You'd feel as violated as I do right now.
00:18:12Whether you believe me or not is beside the point.
00:18:14A year and a half ago, the only solution was to rewrite your program.
00:18:18I have to perform that same procedure now.
00:18:21That isn't fair.
00:18:23You're malfunctioning, and you need to be repaired.
00:18:27Return to Sick Bay and wait for my orders.
00:18:39( sighs )
00:18:53( door opens )
00:18:55Doctor.
00:18:56What's happening?
00:18:58What are you doing?
00:19:00Lieutenant Torres requires a copy of your most recent memory files, including the backups.
00:19:05You're going to rewrite my program.
00:19:06The Captain thinks it's for the best.
00:19:08I'm sorry.
00:19:10B'Elanna and Seven are setting up the procedure right now.
00:19:12In the meantime, you're to brief
00:19:14Mr. Paris about any experiments you're performing, any tests.
00:19:18I'll be filling in while your program's offline.
00:19:25Okay. So you're running some kind of cell analysis?
00:19:29Yes. Well, let's take a look.
00:19:32What happened 18 months ago?
00:19:34Doc... Why won't the Captain tell me?
00:19:38She has her reasons. And you agree with her?
00:19:43I was there...and yes, I agree with her.
00:19:58( classical theme playing )
00:20:19( door chimes )
00:20:22Come in.
00:20:27Are you having a little trouble regenerating?
00:20:30My alcove is functioning properly.
00:20:34I am having trouble with the nature of individuality.
00:20:37( chuckles )
00:20:39There's a time and a place for philosophical discussion.
00:20:43Two in the morning in my quarters isn't one of them, but I'll tell you what.
00:20:46Meet me in the Mess Hall tomorrow--
00:20:48Tomorrow will be too late.
00:20:50We'll have already rewritten the Doctor's program by then.
00:20:56And violated his rights as an individual.
00:20:59Precisely.
00:21:01If you've come to act as my conscience, you're a little late.
00:21:05I considered these issues 18 months ago, as I did again this morning.
00:21:10I came to the same conclusion.
00:21:12Your conclusion is wrong.
00:21:19Coffee, black.
00:21:30Lukewarm.
00:21:31Now I've told that replicator a dozen times about the temperature of my coffee.
00:21:36It just doesn't seem to want to listen... almost as if it's got a mind of its own, but it doesn't.
00:21:44A replicator operates through a series of electronic pathways that allow it to receive instructions and take appropriate action, and there you go, a cup of coffee, a bowl of soup, a plasma conduit, whatever we tell it to do.
00:22:00As difficult as it is to accept... the Doctor is more like that replicator than he is like us.
00:22:08He would disagree.
00:22:09I'm sure he would, but I can't let that change my decision.
00:22:13I learned that the hard way, when his program almost self-destructed.
00:22:18I won't take that risk again.
00:22:20The risk isn't yours to take.
00:22:22If one of my crew chose to put a phaser to his own head, should I let him?
00:22:27It would depend on the situation.
00:22:30It always depends on the situation, Seven, but we can debate philosophy another time.
00:22:39When you separated me from the collective,
00:22:41I was an unknown risk to your crew, yet you kept me on board, you allowed me to evolve into an individual.
00:22:49You're a human being.
00:22:51He's a hologram.
00:22:53And you allowed that hologram to evolve as well, to exceed his original programming, and yet, now you choose to abandon him.
00:23:00Objection noted.
00:23:03Good night.
00:23:10It is unsettling.
00:23:13You say that I am a human being and yet, I am also Borg... part of me not unlike your replicator... not unlike the Doctor.
00:23:25Will you one day choose to abandon me as well?
00:23:29I have always looked to you as my example, my guide to humanity.
00:23:37Perhaps I've been mistaken.
00:23:40Good night.
00:23:51( door opens )
00:24:09I'd like to think I made my decision 18 months ago for all the right reasons.
00:24:14The truth is, my own biases about what you are had just as much to do with it.
00:24:22At the very least, you deserve to know exactly what happened... if you're willing.
00:24:41I'm ready.
00:24:55( console beeping )
00:25:00PARIS: You're standing on my foot.
00:25:02DOCTOR: I am not.
00:25:03Shh...
00:25:04( giggling )
00:25:06If you ask me, they should have just locked the turbolift...
00:25:09Neelix... the power's down.
00:25:10Jetal to Torres.
00:25:13TORRES: Uh, go ahead, Ensign.
00:25:14Or should I say...
00:25:17ALL: Surprise!
00:25:19( all clapping )
00:25:23( jovial theme plays )
00:25:30I'm gonna kill you.
00:25:34I want you to go along on a few of the shuttle surveys... if I can talk you into it. Another away mission?
00:25:39Certainly. I'm flattered.
00:25:40I guess the birthday girl and I get the pleasure of your company, Doc.
00:25:44You launch at 1900 hours, Shuttle Bay 1.
00:25:48Hello, Doctor.
00:25:50Ensign Jetal.
00:25:51I haven't seen you in months.
00:25:53The price I pay for staying in good health.
00:25:56So, keeping busy down on Deck 11?
00:25:59Too busy.
00:26:00We're modifying one of the shuttles, making it more maneuverable and more...cool.
00:26:05Hmm...I see you've been working with Mr. Paris.
00:26:08My condolences.
00:26:10I thought I picked up a slight distortion in subspace, but it's not there anymore.
00:26:16Nothing on our long-range sensors, but a few hydrogen atoms.
00:26:21Candid shot?
00:26:23DOCTOR: Try to look natural.
00:26:25At least it's my good side.
00:26:30Let's get one of the group.
00:26:37( timer beeping )
00:26:40This is the last one.
00:26:42Say cheese.
00:26:43ALL: Cheese.
00:26:45Doctor, I have a shuttle to fly.
00:26:47Ah, yes.
00:26:51What was that?
00:26:53Our sensors are dead.
00:26:54Power's being drained.
00:26:55Shields and weapons are offline.
00:26:57How?
00:26:58( alarm beeping )
00:27:04( transporter whoosh )
00:27:14( groans )
00:27:31Doctor to Voyager. Mayday.
00:27:33We're under attack!
00:27:34I've got wounded. Mayday!
00:27:35CHAKOTAY: Acknowledged, Doctor.
00:27:38Set navigational controls to return to Voyager.
00:27:40Commander, can you hear me?
00:27:41CHAKOTAY: Please respond. Hello?
00:27:43Computer, engage auto navigation.
00:27:45Lay in a course for Voyager, full impulse.
00:27:47Doctor...
00:27:48Stay calm.
00:27:49That weapon carried quite a punch.
00:27:52Is she okay?
00:27:53She's unconscious.
00:27:55Voyager...
00:27:57We've lost contact.
00:28:00I sent that alien back to his ship.
00:28:02You think they'd be grateful.
00:28:03You should have beamed... him...into space.
00:28:07I'm not in the business of killing people, Ensign.
00:28:10( tricorder beeping )
00:28:11Synaptic shock...?
00:28:13But there was no neural damage.
00:28:16Mr. Kim!
00:28:18I don't understand!
00:28:23Oh, no!
00:28:30CHAKOTAY: Doctor, stand by for transport.
00:28:33Beam us directly to Sick Bay.
00:28:41Prepare these people for surgery.
00:28:48PARIS: Here, what happened?
00:28:49DOCTOR: We were fired on.
00:28:51There's something wrong with their nervous systems.
00:28:53We've got to stabilize their synapses.
00:28:55Get me a choline compound.
00:28:56Which choline compound?
00:28:57It doesn't matter.
00:28:58Just make sure it's a pure base.
00:29:05Her spinal cord's deteriorating.
00:29:10Same rate of collapse.
00:29:13Acetylcholine, 25 microliters.
00:29:17( alarm beeping )
00:29:19It's not helping.
00:29:20I'm reading massive synaptic failure.
00:29:24This doesn't make any sense.
00:29:27Paris to Engineering.
00:29:28Transfer all available power to Sick Bay.
00:29:31TORRES: Acknowledged.
00:29:33Some kind of plasmic energy is arcing between their neural membranes.
00:29:37That weapon...it was designed to do this.
00:29:41To leave a residual charge in the victim's body?
00:29:43An energy pulse that remains in the neural membranes, working its way up the spinal cord, and into the brain.
00:29:49They'll be dead in minutes if we don't find a way to stop it.
00:29:52I've got to protect their brain functions.
00:29:55His neocortex is failing.
00:29:56A spinal shunt.
00:29:58I'll isolate the spinal cord from the brain stem... until I can repair the cellular damage.
00:30:02But I don't have time to perform the procedure on both of them.
00:30:05Then talk me through it.
00:30:06We'll do them together. It's too complex.
00:30:08Then make a choice, before we lose them both!
00:30:17Subdermal scalpel.
00:30:18( ominous theme playing )
00:30:27Bioelectric field generator.
00:30:35( monitor beeping )
00:30:37His vital signs are stabilizing...
00:30:42It's working.
00:30:43Cellular regenerator.
00:30:55His neural membranes are reestablishing themselves.
00:30:58Good...good.
00:31:00( flatline tone )
00:31:23The attack... how did it end?
00:31:27Were there more casualties?
00:31:31We exchanged fire for another few minutes, then the aliens withdrew.
00:31:37There was only one casualty...
00:31:40Ensign Jetal.
00:31:45I don't mean to seem unfeeling, but I'm programmed to accept the loss of a patient with professional detachment.
00:32:05We are assembled here today to pay final respects to our honored dead...
00:32:10Ensign Ahni Jetal.
00:32:12Her intelligence and her charm have made our long journey home seem not quite so long.
00:32:19As she continues on a journey of her own, we will keep her in our hearts... and in our memories.
00:32:36DOCTOR: We're low on synthetic antigens, and I'm sorry to report, many of the medicinal plants you've collected over the past several months were destroyed as well.
00:32:44I have some herbs in storage you might be able to use.
00:32:47Been holding out on me?
00:32:48No.
00:32:50I was keeping them around just in case.
00:32:52Good planning.
00:32:53As for the antigens, I'll have to start replicating them in batches.
00:32:57Which do you want first?
00:33:00Decisions, decisions.
00:33:07How do you make a decision, Mr. Neelix?
00:33:08In general, I mean.
00:33:11I guess I weigh the alternatives and try to decide which is best.
00:33:15Which is best?
00:33:18How do you determine that?
00:33:21I never thought about it, really.
00:33:23Well, maybe you should... think about it, I mean.
00:33:27I guess every situation is a little different.
00:33:29For me, it's rather simple.
00:33:31While I'm faced with a decision, my program calculates the variables, and I take action.
00:33:36For example, what could be simpler then a triage situation in Sick Bay?
00:33:40Two patients, for example, both injured, for example, both in imminent danger of dying.
00:33:48Calculate the variables.
00:33:50My program needs to ascertain which patient has the greater chance of survival, and that's the one I treat.
00:33:59Oh! Oh!
00:34:00Simple.
00:34:03But...what if they have an equal chance of survival?
00:34:09What then?
00:34:11Hmm?
00:34:12Flip a coin?
00:34:14Pick a card?
00:34:15Doctor...
00:34:16Oh, I'm all right.
00:34:17I'm a hologram. I don't get injured.
00:34:19I don't feel pain. I don't die.
00:34:21Unlike some people I could tell you about.
00:34:25For example, two patients, both injured, both in imminent danger of...
00:34:33Don't touch me.
00:34:35I'm a hologram.
00:34:36Photonic energy. Don't waste your time.
00:34:38Neelix to Security.
00:34:39Send a team to the Mess Hall, please.
00:34:41A whole team, Mr. Neelix?
00:34:44Throwing a little party, are we?
00:34:46Why, I attended a party just recently.
00:34:49A birthday party for a very nice young woman.
00:34:53I made a decision there too.
00:34:56Several of them, in fact.
00:34:58When I came through the door, do I turn right, or do I turn left?
00:35:02As I recall, I decided on...the latter.
00:35:05Then, what should I see before me, but the hors d'oeuvre tray?
00:35:08And another decision, do I take a canapé... or refuse?
00:35:14Oh. That's an easy one. I'm a hologram, I don't eat.
00:35:16Something's wrong with him.
00:35:17Don't you know it's rude to refer to somebody in the third person?
00:35:20You had a choice, Mr. Neelix,
00:35:22"Should I do something rude or not do something rude?"
00:35:24Doctor, we must return to Sick Bay.
00:35:27Why should I?
00:35:29What if I don't want to return to Sick Bay?
00:35:31What if I decide not to return to Sick Bay?
00:35:35No. I don't choose this.
00:35:37Leave me alone! Let me go!
00:35:39Why did she have to die?
00:35:41Why did I kill her?
00:35:42Why did I decide to kill her? Why?
00:35:44Somebody tell me why!
00:35:45It was downhill from there.
00:35:48You developed a feedback loop between your ethical and cognitive subroutines.
00:35:53You were having the same thoughts over and over again.
00:35:56We couldn't stop it.
00:35:58Our only option was to erase your memories of those events.
00:36:01You were right.
00:36:03I didn't deserve to keep those memories... not after what I did.
00:36:07You were performing your duty.
00:36:09Two patients, which do I kill?
00:36:11Doctor... Doctor? Hardly.
00:36:13A doctor retains his objectivity.
00:36:16I didn't do that, did I?
00:36:18Two patients, equal chances of survival, and I chose the one I was closer to?
00:36:23I chose my friend?
00:36:25That's not in my programming.
00:36:26That's not what I was designed to do!
00:36:28Go ahead!
00:36:29Reprogram me! I'll lend you a hand!
00:36:30Let's start with this very day, this hour, this second!
00:36:33Computer, deactivate the EMH.
00:36:36( computer beeps )
00:36:40Here we go again.
00:36:44Captain?
00:36:46It's as though there's a battle being fought inside him... between his original programming... and what he's become.
00:36:56Our solution was to end that battle.
00:37:01What if we were wrong?
00:37:03We've seen what happens to him.
00:37:05In fact, we've seen it twice.
00:37:07Still...we allowed him to evolve, and at the first sign of trouble...
00:37:19We gave him a soul, B'Elanna.
00:37:23Do we have the right to take it away now?
00:37:26We gave him personality subroutines.
00:37:30I'd hardly call that a soul.
00:38:11Captain.
00:38:13I'm having trouble... with the nature of individuality.
00:38:18You require a philosophical discussion.
00:38:21There's a time and a place for it.
00:38:23This is one of them.
00:38:28After I freed you from the collective... you were transformed.
00:38:36It's been a difficult process.
00:38:40Was it worth it?
00:38:42I had no choice.
00:38:44That's not what I asked you.
00:38:49If I could change what happened... erase what you did to me... would I?
00:38:59No.
00:39:03JANEWAY: Captain's Log, supplemental.
00:39:06Our Doctor is now our patient.
00:39:09It's been two weeks since I've ordered
00:39:11a 'round-the-clock vigil.
00:39:12A crew member has stayed with him at all times,
00:39:15offering a sounding board and a familiar presence,
00:39:19while he struggles to understand
00:39:21his memories and his thoughts.
00:39:23The chances of recovery... uncertain.
00:39:38The more I think about it... the more I realize there's nothing I could've done differently.
00:39:47What do you mean?
00:39:48The primordial atom burst, sending out its radiation, setting everything in motion.
00:39:56One particle collides with another, gases expand, planets contract, and before you know it, we've got starships and holodecks, and...chicken soup.
00:40:07In fact, you can't help but have starships, and holodecks, and chicken soup, because it was all determined 20 billion years ago!
00:40:17There is a certain logic to your logic.
00:40:22Progress?
00:40:24I'm not sure if he's making any sense of this experience, or if his program's just running in circles.
00:40:29You've been here for 16 hours.
00:40:31Let me continue while you rest.
00:40:34I'll be all right.
00:40:36Go back to the Bridge.
00:40:51How can you read at a time like this?
00:40:53It helps me think.
00:40:56Think? What do you need to think about?
00:40:59You. This book is relevant to your situation.
00:41:04Oh? What is it?
00:41:09Poetry...written on Earth a thousand years ago, La Vita Nuova.
00:41:16La Vita Nuova, "The New Life"? Ha!
00:41:20Tell that to Ensign Jetal.
00:41:23Actually...
00:41:25I killed her countless times.
00:41:29What do you mean?
00:41:31Causality, probability.
00:41:35For every action, there's an infinite number of reactions, and in each one of them, I killed her!
00:41:46Or did I?
00:41:52Too many possibilities...
00:41:56Too many pathways for my program to follow...
00:42:01Impossible to choose...
00:42:07Still, I...
00:42:10I can't live with the knowledge of what I've done.
00:42:13I can't.
00:42:17Captain?
00:42:23Captain? ( gasping ): Oh, sorry.
00:42:25How could you sleep at a time like this?
00:42:28Well, it's been a long day.
00:42:29You were saying...?
00:42:30What's wrong?
00:42:32Nothing.
00:42:34You're ill. I have a headache.
00:42:35Fever. You have a fever. I'll live.
00:42:38Medical emergency! Doctor...
00:42:39Someone's got to treat you immediately.
00:42:41Call Mr. Paris. You've got to get to Sick Bay!
00:42:44Doctor...
00:42:46I'm a little busy right now... helping a friend.
00:42:56I...I'll be all right.
00:43:00Go. Sleep. Please.
00:43:04I'll still be here in the morning.
00:43:06Sure?
00:43:09Yes. Please.
00:43:12I don't want to be responsible for any more suffering.
00:43:33Good night.
00:43:35If you need anything...
00:43:37I'll call.
00:43:38Thank you, Captain.
00:44:22In that book, which is my memory...
00:44:29On the first page of the chapter,
00:44:32that is the day when I first met you...
00:44:38Appear the words, "Here begins a new life."
00:45:07( title theme plays )