Home > Star Trek: Voyager

Fair Haven

( whistle blows )

( sheep bleating )

Good day to you.

Good day to you.

( sighs ) Good morning, Tom.

Good morning, Grace.

So, where are you heading?

Uh, Sullivan's. Care to join me?

Oh, I wish I could, but there's a bit of a problem.

Oh, really?

Well, you see, Tommy, me boy, the good Lord blessed me with a fine wife.

I'll never forget the day I met her.

I was on me way to the fair in Dooleen... or was it Kilkee?

There's some fine trout fishing to be had in Kilkee this time of year.

Who said anything about trout?

Timothy Ryan, God rest his soul.

He was one for the trout.

The poor man's been dead a fortnight.

Some say he had the croup, but don't you believe it.

The widow Moore gave him the evil eye.

And... your point?

Me wife and I-- well, we've hit a bit of a rough patch.

A better woman never walked the face of the earth.

She threw you out again.

With nothing but the clothes on me back.

How much? A shilling or two should suffice.

Keep the change.

God bless you, Tommy, me boy.

( chuckles )

( sighs )

Harry... weren't you supposed to meet me at Sullivan's?

Oh, sorry, I got distracted by the, uh, scenery.

This is Maggie.

We've met. Could you excuse us?

Charmed to have met you, Harry.

Charmed.

What's the hurry?

A word to the wise-- stay away from Maggie O'Halloran.

She's promised to a pig farmer with a very large rake.

Well, does she have a sister? Wooden teeth.

Oh, nothing a little adjustment to the holo-matrix wouldn't fix.

No, no, I'm not changing a thing.

Fair Haven is perfect just the way it is.

Tommy boy, you forgot the leprechauns.

( chuckles ): Yeah. No.

No leprechauns, no aliens, no starships.

I want this to be a place where the crew can unwind.

( bell rings ) Morning, lads.

Ah, heard any good confessions lately?

Doctor/patient confidentiality, Mr. Paris.

Harry hasn't seen Sullivan's yet. Do you care to join us?

Don't mind if I do. I'll need to leave no later than 1300 hours.

Medical emergency?

Not exactly. I'm working on my homily for Sunday's mass, and I expect both you sinners... to be in attendance.

He's kidding, right?

You wanted authenticity.

( sighs )

Everybody, place your bets!

Three bob on Liam. Three bob it is.

Five shillings on Liam.

You're going to hurt Harry's feelings.

Oh, very well. Two shillings on Mr. Kim, and I'll pray for a miracle.

Excuse me, Father, but I needed a bit of counsel.

I'm off duty right now.

But I've broken the Fifth Commandment again.

Say ten "Our Fathers" and call me in the morning.

Oh, thank you, Father. Gentlemen.

( crowd shouting ) Come on, come on, Mr. Kim.

Show him what for. You can do it.

What'll it be?

I'm looking for some friends of mine.

Well, we're all friends here.

Well, then, have you seen Tom Paris?

He's right over there with young Harry.

Poor sod.

I'm afraid no one's whipped Liam in three years.

There's a first time for everything.

An optimist, are you?

A realist.

Come on, Ensign, try!

Try!

Come on, me boy, push, push!

I'm trying!

Come on! Try harder!

You got him! You got him, lad! You got him!

( grunting )

What?! What in God's name...?!

Come on, Liam, push!

Yes! Yes!

I knew you could do it, Ensign.

So, this is the program

I've been hearing so much about.

Welcome, weary traveler.

You have outdone yourself this time.

Everything is authentic, except for one tiny detail.

Oh?

The harp on the sign-- it's backwards.

Oh. Everybody's a critic.

As I recall, the Captain is quite an aficionado of Irish history.

I hate to break up the party, but we have some business to attend to.

There's a neutronic wavefront approaching, class-9.

Class-9?

Sorry, boys, duty calls.

Uh, "wavefront"?

Now, what in the name of God is that?

Um, a wee bit of bad weather.

Oh.

SEVEN: Borg classification 3472, particle density anomaly.

Where'd it come from?

I believe it was formed by the collision of two neutron stars.

The wavefront is traveling at a velocity of 200,000 kilometers per second, and it extends for 3.6 light-years.

How long before it hits?

Approximately 15 hours.

We're already feeling its effects.

The neutron radiation is disrupting plasma flow.

We can't jump to warp.

Impulse power won't be enough to outrun that thing.

Then we'll have to ride it out.

We'll generate an inverse warp field and drop anchor.

That should protect us from the turbulence.

What about the radiation? It'll only get worse.

Have the Doctor prepare inoculations for the crew.

Go to Yellow Alert. Tom, B'Elanna, get started on converting the warp core.

PARIS: Yes, ma'am.

Let's batten down the hatches.

Captain.

Just burning the midnight oil.

Midnight's come and gone.

Then it's time for a break.

Do you mind?

I could use the company.

This approaching wavefront-- it's bringing back some unpleasant memories.

How so?

You know I grew up on a farm in Indiana.

We used to have some terrible thunderstorms during the summer months.

At the first bolt of lightning,

I'd bolt under the bed.

We had some pretty nasty weather on Talax, too.

I always enjoyed a good ion storm.

Give me clear skies any day.

Well, now that you bring it up, uh,

I am concerned with keeping up morale over the next few days.

The crew is not used to sitting still. Suggestions?

Everyone seems to love Fair Haven.

I was thinking we might initiate an open-door protocol on the holodeck and keep the program running

24 hours a day, let people come and go as they please.

Permission granted.

Fair Haven's just become our port in the storm.

( sighs )

I'm, uh, heading down there myself, if you'd like to join me.

There's a charming little inn called The Ox and Lamb.

The owner offered to share some of his recipes.

No, thanks. I still have work to do.

Okay.

( chair rattles )

What'll it be?

A cup of tea would be nice.

I just made one.

Cream? Please.

So, what brings you to Fair Haven, Miss...?

Kathryn. I'm just passing through... on my way home.

How long have you been on the road?

Five years, almost six.

You must be homesick. No.

Sometimes. Thank you.

"Cead mil failte."

Translation?

"A hundred thousand welcomes."

It's an old Irish saying. We're all friends here.

I had an aunt who used to have a saying like that.

"A stranger is a friend you just haven't met yet."

Definitely Irish.

She had an Irish temper, too.

She and my uncle had a place not far from here in County Clare.

Ah... then you're closer to home than you think, Katie O'Clare.

( sets spoon down )

You know, it's later than I thought, and I've kept you long enough.

Oh, now, stay awhile. Didn't your auntie teach you that it's impolite to leave without playing a game of rings?

I really can't, but thanks for the tea.

Afraid you'd lose?

I rarely lose.

Prove it.

One game.

I'll set them up.

Another ringer. Well, I'm not surprised.

You stepped over the beer stain.

I did not. You did, too, by half a boot, and then you moved back, hoping I wouldn't notice.

These boots are half a size too large, so in reality, my toes never crossed the line. Your turn.

For luck.

Getting sweet with the rings isn't going help you.

We'll see.

Damn! Devil won't help you, either.

Well, maybe rings aren't my forte after all.

Would you care to arm wrestle?

That's not a woman's game, Katie. You could get hurt.

I'm stronger than I look.

Ah! ( laughs )

Now, that's quite a grip you have.

Not bad yourself.

( grunting )

I couldn't help but notice that you have your leg braced against the bar.

Well, how else do you expect me to win?

( grunting )

Well, will we call it a draw?

Sounds good to me.

( groaning )

We run a foot race down to the station and back?

( laughing )

It's good to make a new friend.

You have a nice way about you.

"Flattery's the food of fools."

Another pearl of wisdom from your auntie?

No. Jonathan Swift.

Swift? Never heard of him.

He was an author.

I was never one for reading.

Well, that's too bad.

Some of the greatest writers in the world are Irish.

Well, they say that Dr. Gilroy has a library of books, and, well, next time I see him,

I'll ask him can I borrow one or two.

Good mornin'.

Good mornin'.

Oh, my God, will you look at the time?

Frannie, come here.

There's someone I want you to meet.

Katie O'Clare, this is my wife,

Francis. Pleased to meet you.

I hope Michael hasn't been bending your ear all night long.

My ear, my elbow... We were arm wrestling.

Mmm, such a gentleman.

Well, thank you very much for your hospitality, and now I really must be leaving.

And, uh, drop in again before you leave town.

I will!

If you experience any dizziness, report to Sick Bay immediately.

Thank you.

Good morning, gentlemen.

I believe it's afternoon-- oversleep?

Holodeck. Fair Haven?

Welcome, weary traveler.

Even I have to admit--

Mr. Paris' latest effort is quite a tour de force.

Ooh, high praise from a hologram.

Oh, I was thinking, Captain-- now that we've got this open-door policy, maybe I could expand Fair Haven into Holodeck 2.

It would give me some room to create the seacoast.

By all means. Speaking of revisions,

I was hoping I could give my character a more active role.

In the period you've created, the village priest

was the most prominent member of the community, held in the highest regard.

You know, that's a great idea, Doc.

We could send Father Mulligan on a retreat to a nearby monastery, where he takes a vow of silence and never speaks again.

Try it!

And you'll be saying "Hail Marys" till St. Patrick's Day.

( both laughing )

Time?

30 seconds.

Let's see it.

All hands, this is the Captain.

Secure your stations and brace for impact.

We've cleared the leading edge. Turbulence is decreasing.

Shields are holding. Damage?

We've got a ruptured plasma conduit, Deck 9.

Send a repair team.

Maintain Yellow Alert.

Let's hope that was the worst of it.

Captain's Personal Log.

It's been ten hours since the storm hit.

We estimate another three days before we're clear of it.

The crew's in good spirits, and many of them

have taken the opportunity to visit Fair Haven.

I met an interesting man there, and for a while,

I almost forgot he was a hologram.

We weren't exactly compatible.

Then again, Mr. Paris didn't program him

to my specifications.

Computer, display Fair Haven character Michael Sullivan.

Adjust his parameters to the following specifications.

Give him the education of a 19th century... third-year student at Trinity College.

( computer beeps )

COMPUTER: Modification complete.

Now... access the character's interactive subroutines.

Make him more provocative.

Specify.

Give him a more complicated personality.

Specify.

( sighs )

More outspoken... more confident, not so reserved... and make him more curious about the world around him.

Modification complete.

Good. Now... increase the character's height by... three centimeters.

Remove the facial hair.

No... no, I don't like that.

Put some back-- about two days' growth.

Better. Oh, one more thing.

Access his interpersonal subroutines... familial characters.

Delete the wife.

Modification complete.

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Sullivan.

Are you ill, Commander?

I am experiencing a slight loss of equilibrium and some gastrointestinal distress.

Space sickness?

Unlikely. I'm not prone to that condition.

Perhaps you should go to Sick Bay.

I'll be fine.

KIM: I'm telling you, we should add more fog.

Fog is depressing.

It's authentic! It's dangerous!

( sighs ): All right, we could add a lighthouse.

It's Fair Haven, Harry. Sunshine.

Tuvok, what do you think: Irish seacoast-- fog or no fog?

I have no opinion.

He hasn't visited our little paradise yet.

Nor do I intend to.

KIM: I think you'd like it, Commander.

It's a great place to meditate.

Imagine yourself sitting high on a bluff overlooking the ocean.

Salt air... the rhythm of the waves rising and crashing against the rocks... a tiny fishing boat bobbing on the water below... up and down, up and down.

I get the idea, Ensign. Thank you.

Mutton, creamed cabbage or blood pudding?

Explain.

I'm preparing a traditional Irish meal at The Ox and Lamb this afternoon, and I cannot decide on a main course.

Blood pudding-- you can't lose.

Well, that was my first choice, too, but replicating the lamb's intestines-- it-it could be tricky, and every time

I try to heat the blood, it coagulates in the milk.

If you'll excuse me.

I think I will consult the Doctor.

( dogs barking )

( sheep bleating )

Excuse me, ma'am. Hmm?

Have you seen Michael Sullivan?

Oh, you might try the pub.

I just came from there.

Oh, then he'll be at the train station.

Yeah. Thank you.

Sure.

Excuse me, sir. Is the train to Galway running on time?

Um... I'm afraid you've just missed it.

Have a seat. Wait for the next one.

Do you know Jane Eldon?

Eldon. No, I've never met her.

Well, I'd be terrified if you had.

She's been dead 70 years.

( laughing )

No, I was, uh...

I was thinking about her poetry.

It's too pastoral for my taste.

Don't you agree?

I'm not familiar with her work.

Really?

Well, what about Sean Gogarty?

They have similar rhyming schemes.

You've some catching up to do.

( chuckling )

Well, I'm here every afternoon.

You should join me sometime.

I tried talking poetry with Seamus, but all he can do is recite limericks.

I'd love to. Strange place to read, though.

Not at all.

I love the sound of the trains coming and going.

Gets me thinking about places

I'd like to visit.

Have you traveled much yourself?

As a matter of fact...

But there's one place I haven't been yet-- Castle O'Dell.

It's a steep climb, but from the top of the battlement, you can see all the way to Dublin.

We'd better be moving.

They say when the sun goes down, the King of the Faeries reclaims the castle.

Maybe he'll invite us to supper.

Eh, you'll be dining alone, without me.

One taste of the faeries' banquet, and you'll never return to this world.

Oh, don't tell me you believe those stories.

Believe? No. But I do respect them.

Can I ask you something, Katie?

Please.

Have you a man waiting for you at home?

No.

Are you looking for one? ( laughing )

Why, do you have somebody?

In Fair Haven?

Not unless you fancy a pig farmer.

Oh, not my type.

Well, what about a barkeep who reads poetry in strange places?

Captain?

I thought that was you.

Just getting in the spirit.

I can see that.

I don't believe we've met.

Sullivan. Michael Sullivan.

Chakotay.

That's a fine tattoo.

Are you off a ship?

You could say that.

We're on the way up to the old castle.

You're welcome to come with us.

Thanks, but, um...

I'm meeting Neelix at The Ox and Lamb.

You two have fun.

Is it my imagination, or did he call you Captain?

Did he?

Looks like the worst is yet to come.

Commander?

I just came from Astrometrics.

Seven's found an increase in the neutronic gradient at the trailing edge of the wavefront.

It's going to be a rough ride when it hits.

We've still got two days.

Start working on a new shield modulation.

Yes, ma'am.

That could explain my recent space sickness.

Vulcan physiology is highly sensitive to neutronic gradients.

You'd make a good barometer, Tuvok.

Every time you get queasy, we go to Red Alert.

Thanks for your report, Commander.

Don't mention it.

Hills Most Green, Hearts Unseen.

Yes. Jane Eldon. Catching up on a little reading.

Those hills and hearts wouldn't happen to be in Ireland?

You can wipe that smirk off your face. It's not what you think.

I wasn't thinking anything, but now that you mention it...

I have an interest in Irish culture.

It's understandable. They've produced great writers for hundreds of years... not to mention great bartenders.

He's a hologram.

I couldn't help but notice-- he seemed a little taller than the last time I saw him.

Yes, I made a few modifications.

In the interest of Irish culture?

Exactly.

You seemed embarrassed when I ran into you.

There was no reason to be.

It was nice to see you having a little fun.

He is rather charming, isn't he?

Too bad he's made of photons and force fields.

I never let that stand in my way.

( Irish jig playing )

The boys are getting tired.

Them or you?

Faster, boys!

( tempo increases )

( clapping and clamoring )

( music ends, applause )

Computer... remove all characters except for Michael Sullivan.

Can I ask you something, Katie?

Please.

Would you mind if I kissed you?

( laughs )

I might even kiss you back.

There's no point in waiting any longer, is there?

Oh, I think I've waited long enough.

Is there something wrong?

( whispers ): No.

Computer, recycle.

( door chimes )

Come in.

I thought you'd like to know we've organized a rings tournament tonight at Sullivan's.

Thanks, Neelix, but I have work to do.

The Doctor's going to sing something called "Danny Boy", and Mossie Donegan's promised to bring his talking pig.

Well, let's just say I'd rather stick to reality right now.

1900 hours... if you change your mind.

Thank you.

Saints preserve us.

I possess superior hand/eye coordination.

That's not all that's superior.

The lily and the rose are staging a competition on your face.

Clarify.

The fullness of your lips and the paleness of your cheeks-- it's enough to make a man faint.

Then, in that case, perhaps we should sit down.

I don't believe it.

It's called "old-world charm," Harry.

What'll it be, gentlemen?

Nothing for me.

"Temperance is a virtue."

Where's Michael?

Over there.

That's strange.

I programmed him not to drink.

Must be a glitch in his subroutine.

Are these seats taken?

Sit anywhere you like.

( clears throat )

( sighs ): Vile.

It's been 15 years since I touched the stuff.

You making up for lost time?

I was hoping it might ease the pain.

Are you in discomfort?

Agony's more like it.

How could you do this to me, Lord?

Why don't you ask him?

You've got his ear, don't you?

Well...

Three days... the happiest three days of my life.

I was a fool to think she felt the same.

I was such a fool! SEAMUS: Aw, sit down, Sullivan.

Shut your mouth, man, or I'll shut it for you.

Oh, you will, will you?

Hey, hey, hey... take it easy.

Um... why don't you tell us what happened?

( sighs ): We... we spent a perfect day together by the lake.

I drifted off to sleep, and... when I woke up, she was gone.

Where is she, Tom?

Who?

Katie O'Clare-- who else?

Katie O'Clare?

Your friend.

Um... are you sure you didn't... uh... misinterpret her interests?

I mean, we're all friends here.

Maybe she was just being friendly.

You calling me a liar?

N-no, no, not at all.

I thought... Katie and me were in love.

I may have to do some reprogramming...

What's the matter? You don't think I'm good enough for her?

No, I-I didn't say that.

Well, tell me where she's gone.

I don't know. Well, I think you do!

( grunting )

Gentlemen, please!

"Love thy neighbor."

Let's see... I remember trying to reach the holodeck controls.

Then, uh, somebody grabbed my leg.

Maybe it was the talking pig.

( chuckles ): If it was, he had one hell of a left hook.

What's all this?

I'm afraid there's been some trouble in paradise-- an altercation in the pub this afternoon.

Several crewmen were injured. Nothing serious.

Arm wrestling get out of hand, boys?

Not exactly.

It was Michael Sullivan, Captain.

He was... ( clears throat )

...looking for someone.

Why don't we... take a little walk?

Let me guess-- that someone is me.

I don't mean to pry, Captain, but we've got a broken-hearted hologram who believed that the two of you were in love.

Oh, I was sure he'd be on to the next lass by now.

I hope he's all right.

Far from it.

The fight spilled out onto the street.

Before long, he'd climbed up a tree and began shouting your name.

Mr. Neelix managed to... talk him down.

It could be a malfunction in his behavioral subroutines.

I've already checked that. His subroutines are fine.

But I did notice you've made quite a number of alterations to his program.

Minor improvements. To make him more appealing?

You're starting to pry, Doctor.

I apologize for overstepping my bounds, but I'm worried about you.

Michael Sullivan is a hologram.

His broken heart can be mended with the flick of a switch.

Your feelings, however, are a little more... complicated.

I'm not going to be climbing any trees, if that's what you're worried about.

If you decide you want to talk,

I've been hearing a lot of confessions lately.

Let me know.

You want a confession, Doctor?

All right.

I've become romantically involved with a hologram, if that's possible.

Tell me what happened.

Oh, you know the story-- girl meets boy; girl modifies boy's subroutines.

Did you have intimate relations?

That's none of your business.

Let's just say it was a memorable three days.

I don't see the problem. Don't you?

Michael Sullivan is exactly my type-- attractive, intelligent.

We share the same interests, and if there's something I don't like,

I can simply change it.

I've noticed that humans usually try to change the people they fall in love with.

What's the difference? In this case, it works.

We had a picnic by the lake yesterday afternoon.

Michael drifted off to sleep.

His head was lying on my shoulder, and I remember thinking, "This is close to perfect."

Then he began to snore.

Did I nudge him with my elbow, hoping he'd roll over and stop?

Did I whisper in his ear to wake him? No.

Why bother, when I could simply access the computer and alter his vocal algorithms?

And that's exactly what I was about to do, when I realized that everything around me was an illusion, including him, so I left.

Oh, I almost wrote him a note to say good-bye.

Could you believe that-- a "Dear John" letter to a hologram?

I understand your trepidation... but you're the Captain.

You can't have a relationship with a member of your crew.

They're all your subordinates.

So where does that leave you-- the occasional dalliance with a passing alien?

Voyager could be in the Delta Quadrant for a very long time.

A hologram may be the only logical alternative.

He's not real.

He's as real as I am.

Photons and force fields; flesh and blood-- it's all the same, as long as your feelings are real.

He makes a joke; you laugh. Is that an illusion?

He says something that makes you think.

Does it matter how his molecules are aligned?

Did it ever occur to you that it's not just a question of whether or not he's real?

What do you mean?

I think you should stop trying to control every aspect of this relationship.

Romance is born out of differences as well as similarities... out of the unexpected as well as the familiar.

Maybe I just needed to be sure... he'd love me back.

But isn't that the risk you always take, hologram or not?

All I know is...

Michael Sullivan was up in that tree, shouting your name.

I've never been afraid of taking risks.

Then perhaps next time, you should just... let him snore.

The neutronic gradient's rising--

30 million terajoules...

40 million.

Shields.

Holding.

60 million.

Torres to Bridge. The inverse warp field's destabilizing.

We're losing our anchor.

Acknowledged. How long before we're clear?

At least another five minutes.

That's about four minutes too long.

The gradient's rising fast-- 90 million.

Stabilizers are off-line.

Thrusters.

No effect. Shields are failing.

How close are we to the perimeter? A thousand kilometers, but we're being pulled along with the storm.

What have you got in mind? The deflector beam-- we might be able to cut a path through the wavefront.

It's possible, but we'd have to route all available power to the emitters.

That won't be enough. Primary systems are down.

Then transfer all secondary power sources-- transporters, replicators, holodecks.

Captain, there's not enough time to go through the hologrid shutdown sequence.

We'd lose most of Fair Haven.

Do it.

Hull fractures, Decks 6 and 7.

You've got all the secondary power, Tuvok.

Is that enough? Negative.

Siphon energy from the plasma network-- every last deciwatt!

Deflector beam active.

We're approaching the perimeter.

500 kilometers...

400...

Deflector output is dropping.

Give him everything we've got-- life support, environmental control. Scrape the residual ions off the sonic showers if you have to.

( sighing )

Doesn't look good, Tom.

With this much photonic decay, we'll be able to save five, maybe ten percent.

So much for the luck of the Irish.

It might be easier to start from scratch.

It wouldn't be the same.

It's like trying to rewrite a novel after the only copy of the data file's been deleted.

All the details, the nuances-- they're all gone.

Morning, lads. Hey, Seamus.

Looks like a storm brewing. A storm?

Heading in from the west. Could be a big one.

Oh... you're right.

I don't suppose you could spare a shilling or two?

Me wife and I made up last night, and I wanted to buy her a new parasol.

The grid's destabilizing.

We'd better get started on those repairs.

So, what do we try and save?

The Ox and Lamb? The church?

Maggie O'Halloran?

There's someone I should talk to before we decide.

( door chimes )

Come in.

Fair Haven didn't fare too well.

I'll break the news to the crew.

With your permission,

I'd like to try to reconstruct the program.

How long will it take?

Six or seven weeks.

Harry tells me that we should be able to save about ten percent of the existing elements.

I thought you might have a suggestion or two.

Computer, is Fair Haven character

Michael Sullivan still intact?

Affirmative.

Activate him.

Hello.

You disappeared on me, Katie.

I woke up, and you had gone.

I had some thinking to do.

Are you done?

( laughs ): Yes.

I'm leaving Fair Haven.

Why?

Because.

That's not a very good reason.

The situation is complicated.

Another man?

No.

Your friends... they don't approve of me?

They think you're charming.

Are you not ready to settle down yet?

I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

You're not making any sense.

No, I guess I'm not.

Well, I have a feeling that, uh, you won't be forgetting us that easily.

Fair Haven has that effect on people.

But there's one thing I want you to know.

I love you, Katie.

( sighs )

I might actually be passing this way in, uh... six or seven weeks.

Maybe I'll stop by the pub.

See that you do.

Oh, computer, end program.

Wait.

I want to make one more modification to the character.

COMPUTER: Specify.

Deny Kathryn Janeway any future access to his behavioral subroutines.

Modification complete.

Save program.

( computer beeps )