Home > Star Trek: Voyager

Ashes to Ashes

( alarm blaring )

Tam'vitte...

Rel mestal!

Mestal te'iote senve.

Siote ven'suil.

Bekta!

Tam'vitte, me'iote sendaya Voyager.

Federation Starship Voyager, if you can hear me, please respond.

FEMALE: If you can hear me, please respond.

Voyager, please respond.

Come on, Voyager. I know you're there.

Hello?

Voyager?

Are you receiving this transmission?

My designation is Mezoti.

You sound a little young to be working the com.

I'm eight.

I see.

Are there any grownups I could speak to?

My species is 689,

Norcadian. What species are you?

That's a complicated question.

Explain.

I don't know how long I can keep this channel open.

I need you to patch me through to Captain Janeway.

I'll try, but my height may be insufficient.

( console beeping )

( static )

Hello?

Voyager?

Mezoti, you are not authorized to be in here.

Are you going to report me to the Captain?

Considering this is your first offense, a warning will suffice.

What were my instructions?

To wait in the Cargo Bay until you returned.

Why didn't you comply?

You left the children unsupervised.

Lieutenant Torres required my assistance in Engineering.

I was gone for less than ten minutes.

ICHEB: We told her not to deviate from your instructions.

She wouldn't listen.

When the Captain asked you to take charge of these children, you assured her that you could maintain order.

Controlling them is proving more difficult than I anticipated.

They're highly unpredictable.

Meditation helps Vulcan children to control their emotions.

You might consider... Mezoti!

I'm trying to talk to the woman.

What woman?

The one transmitting from Spatial Grid 2369.

She's made contact with a small ship, approximately three light-years from here.

Alien vessel, this is the Starship Voyager.

Respond.

FEMALE: Tuvok? That's you, isn't it?

This is Lieutenant Commander Tuvok.

Sounds like someone got promoted.

I want to hear all about it, but first

I need to speak to Captain Janeway.

You're a sight for sore eyes, Captain.

You, too, Harry.

I'm sorry, but do we know you?

I'm Ensign Lyndsay Ballard.

I was a member of your crew.

Of course, I'm not surprised you don't recognize me.

I don't know who you are, but I'm not amused.

Ensign Ballard died almost...

It was on stardate 51563.

I can't blame you for being skeptical, Captain.

But if you'd let me come aboard, I can explain everything.

We'll beam you to Sick Bay.

I'm sure you'll want me behind a level-10 force field.

No offense.

None taken. I'm just glad to be home.

Captain?

What do you think?

She seems to have intimate knowledge of this ship and its crew.

I think we should find out who she is.

Captain, I'd like to come with you.

I was very close to Lyndsay, and if somehow it's her...

I'll know.

Harry and I were on our way to a Class-M planet in the Vyntadi expanse, to recover dilithium ore we'd detected a few days earlier.

When we landed, we realized it was a trap set by a Hirogen hunting party.

They'd reconfigured a power cell to give off false dilithium readings.

That's exactly what happened.

Go on.

Harry and I headed back to the shuttle.

We were ten feet away, when I was hit with a neural disrupter.

Harry said my injury wasn't that bad.

He always was a terrible liar.

I tried to get Lyndsay back to Voyager, but... she was already dead.

We buried her in space.

Go on with your story.

I woke up on a ship, in a stasis chamber surrounded by aliens.

They told me they'd used their technology to reanimate me.

I didn't believe them when they said I'd died, but they showed me visual scans of my own corpse lying in the torpedo casing I'd been buried in.

The Kobali said I'd been drifting for weeks.

"Kobali"?

If you ever met them, you'd remember.

They look just like this.

After the reanimation process, they spent months altering my DNA.

They were constantly scanning me, injecting me...

Just to make you look like one of them?

That's how they procreate.

They salvage the dead of other races.

I was given a Kobali name and placed with a family to help me acclimate.

You were a prisoner.

At first.

I wanted to contact you to tell you I was safe, but the Kobali wouldn't let me.

They said you were part of my kyn'steya... my... my past life, and that I needed to forget you... all of you.

So I spent two years letting my new family think I'd accepted them.

When I finally earned their trust,

I stole a shuttle and started looking for Voyager.

That was six months ago.

They've been chasing me ever since.

In spite of her appearance,

I'm detecting traces of human DNA.

I've compared them with the genetic samples from Ensign Ballard's file.

They match.

It's certainly a convincing story.

But your Starfleet training is telling you to consider all the possibilities.

Maybe I'm some sort of hybrid clone or a telepath who accessed Ensign Ballard's memory somehow.

Believe me, I was suspicious myself at first, but I am Lyndsay Ballard.

Until we find evidence to the contrary... welcome home.

Captain, could you give us a minute?

Doctor.

So it's really you.

In the flesh... so to speak.

I've missed you, too.

I know you're all as eager as I am to welcome Ensign Ballard back.

She's a fine officer who's shown a lot of courage and determination over the past few years, and we're lucky to have her with us again.

So let's do everything we can to make her feel at home.

Tom and I have already taken the liberty of removing Lyndsay's personal effects from storage.

And whenever you're ready, your old shift is waiting for you in Engineering. Thanks, Lieutenant.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, let's not forget the Kobali are still out there.

It seems they want her back as much as we want to keep her.

We'll need to take precautions in case they track her to Voyager.

I've run preliminary scans on the Kobali shuttle.

I believe I can adapt our systems to counter a possible attack.

Very good. Well, if there's no further business...

Thank you for saying those nice things about me. You seem surprised.

To be honest, I never thought you noticed me.

My mistake.

So, you still playing the clarinet?

Actually, I've taken up the saxophone.

Ambitious.

I bet you're good at it.

You always were my biggest fan.

Please, no past tense.

Sorry. This is a little strange for me.

Really? It's been a perfectly normal day for me.

Deck 2.

It just so happens that hearing you play music again is #26 on my list.

List? Something I made up to pass the time while I was away.

I tried to think of everything I would do if I got back to Voyager-- including some things

I wasn't able to accomplish the first time I was here.

Like showing up for duty shifts on time?

That's #27.

They're here.

Ah.

Why don't you and I have a cup of tea while the children play?

Thank you, but they require my supervision.

I like your braid.

I could show you how to do it.

SEVEN: Mezoti.

Something wrong?

I've allotted one hour for recreational activity.

There's no time for irrelevant conversation.

It's not irrelevant.

Adhering to our schedule will allow us to use our time more efficiently.

We'll be able to participate in a wider...

...Wider variety of activities.

Fun will now commence.

Green.

Grid 313.

Counter. Grid 10.

They're cheating.

How?

Azan is using his neural interface to share information.

Is this true?

You will exercise Punishment Protocol 9-Alpha.

If they cannot participate, neither will I.

You are encouraging disorder.

And you never let us do what we want.

You will exercise Punishment Protocol 9-Alpha.

No... I won't.

There you go.

I can't believe you saved all this.

Tuvok thought I should recycle everything, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

My skates and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Do you know how long it took me to fold those?

( chuckles ): Same old Harry.

What's that supposed to mean?

You're still sort of obsessive.

I'm tidy.

Is that why you used to request baryon sweeps of your dorm room?

When you live across the hall from a slob...

Hey.

Show some respect for the dead.

Did I say something wrong?

It's nothing.

Just because I've been gone for three years doesn't mean I can't still read you like a book.

I gave the eulogy at your funeral.

Oh?

What'd you say?

Come on.

It's everyone's fantasy to hear their own eulogy.

Absolutely not.

It's probably for the best.

You always were a terrible public speaker.

Just hope you didn't stutter too much.

( long sigh )

I told them you had a favorite saying... something you got from an old Klingon battle cry.

"Own the Day."

I said that you always believed in... attacking each day... possessing it... and that that was what made you so much fun to be around.

Is that when everybody burst into tears?

I said that, if you'd been there, you would've told them to own that day, to attack it, make it their own and plan to do the same thing tomorrow.

Pretty strong stuff.

You were a strong person.

Not always.

These last six months haven't been easy.

There were plenty of times when I could have given up.

But you didn't.

You know why?

You.

I wanted to see you again.

Hmm. Guess I won't be needing this anymore.

DOCTOR: Sick Bay to Ensign Ballard.

I've finished analyzing your bio-scans.

I'm on my way.

My scans identified a genetic pathogen in your bloodstream.

It appears to have converted most of your human DNA into a Kobali protein structure.

Is there any way to reverse it?

The biochemical changes have affected every system in your body.

I'm afraid there isn't enough of your original DNA left to make you human again.

But I believe I can effect some cosmetic changes.

Are you saying you could make me look like me again?

Yes. The alternations would literally be skin-deep, and it may take several treatments, but I've devised an inaprovaline compound which should do the trick.

Physiologically, you'd still be Kobali, with a multispheric brain, a binary cardiovascular system...

But I'd look human. Oh, yes.

I've lived with this face for long enough.

Let's do it. Have a seat.

You may experience some dizziness.

I'll hang on to Harry for support, if he doesn't mind.

That's what I'm here for.

What?

Something wrong?

See for yourself.

Here we are... one Jiballian Berry salad.

I have been looking forward to this for a very long time.

It was #6 on her list.

There isn't much variety in the Kobali diet.

We ate the same gray paste for three years.

It doesn't taste the way I remember it.

What's wrong? Too sweet?

No offense, but it's got sort of a metallic flavor.

Seems fine to me.

I guess my taste buds are still Kobali.

Can I get you something else?

Thanks.

But I need to take care of #16:

Dazzle Lieutenant Torres.

One minute early.

( sighs ): There's a first time for everything.

An alignment error has been cropping up in the dilithium matrix.

We can't seem to figure out what's causing it.

I-I know that you're still settling in, so I'll give you a couple of days to...

It's a vyk'tiote.

Excuse me?

Oh, a Kobali word to describe a certain kind of wave phenomenon. It's hard to translate.

Try me.

Literally, it means "crumpled dance."

All I need to do is vyq'tal the qen'dioqe matrices, stabilize the per'cheya, tez'tel se nenna...

Cham'bioque!

What?

You were speaking Kobali.

I didn't realize. I'm sorry.

Well, whatever you did, the alignment error is gone.

Nice job.

Thanks.

I think there might be a few... "crumpled dances" in the warp core, too.

Feel like taking a look?

Any sign of the Kobali?

None.

The latest tactical reports from Tuvok.

Commander...

I no longer wish to serve as guardian to the Borg children.

What's the problem?

Their behavior is chaotic.

My attempts to apply discipline only result in further disorder.

Well, kids and disorder usually go hand-in-hand.

Neelix issued a similar warning prior to my taking this assignment, which is why I devised an activities schedule to promote focus and unity.

0700 hours, the children emerge from their alcoves.

Nutrients are ingested in the Mess Hall prior to proceeding to the Science Lab to begin classes.

At 1300 hours, nutrients are consumed a second time before reporting to the holodeck, where they're studying comparative alien physiology.

Doesn't sound like there's much time for fun.

On the contrary.

I've scheduled recreational activities.

You can't always schedule fun, Seven.

Sometimes it needs to be spontaneous.

According to my research, children require structure.

I agree, but not to this extreme.

You're treating them like they're still on a Borg cube.

You're comparing me to the collective?

You have all four children functioning as one.

They do the same things together at the same time.

So that each child has the same opportunities to learn.

They're individuals. Maybe they're rebelling because you don't let them express themselves.

Then grant my request.

Choose a more suitable crew member to instruct them.

Sorry, Seven. Permission denied.

Well, I see you're finally going to try my hockey program.

Actually, I'm taking Lyndsay skating.

Oh. Mm. You two sure have been spending a lot of time together lately.

Don't start.

Oh, now, let's see... for those of us keeping score,

Harry Kim has fallen for a hologram, a Borg, the wrong twin, and now, the dearly departed.

We're friends.

Ah. Just like before.

Uh, all right, maybe there was a time when I thought of pursuing Lyndsay, but I closed the door on that when we both got assigned to Voyager.

Mm. Don't look now, but that door is creaking open.

( sighs )

What do you think?

Uh... you look great.

Doctor thought I should stick to my original color, but this seemed more exciting.

Hair is one of my specialties, despite evidence to the contrary.

It's just too bad that beneath this beautiful red hair still lies the six-lobed brain of a Kobali.

Well, are you feeling human enough for a little skating?

I'd love to, but I already have a date.

Who with? The Captain.

She's invited me to her quarters for dinner.

In six years, I have never been invited to the Captain's quarters for dinner.

Well, I'll give her your regards.

Oh, damn!

( door chimes )

Come in.

Formal dress wasn't required, Ensign.

Well, I just... I figured dinner with the Captain...

I'd hardly call this dinner.

My replicator decided to liquefy the pot roast.

It looks fine to me.

Stop trying to get on my good side and grab a slice of bread.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I hope you don't mind.

Not at all. I lived on them at the Academy.

So, how was your first day back on the job?

Pretty good, I think.

Lieutenant Torres called my work "competent."

Trust me, that's high praise coming from B'Elanna.

Commander Tuvok finished his analysis of your shuttle and presented me with 37 different ways of repelling a Kobali attack.

Did he include your pot roast?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean...

I can't believe I just said that.

Why? It was funny.

We're not on the Bridge, Lyndsay.

You have permission to speak freely.

Do you really mean that?

I wouldn't have said it otherwise.

Then... there's something I've wanted to ask you for a long time.

Why me?

I'm sorry?

Why did you choose me for that away mission?

Well, I suppose I thought you were best suited for the job.

No, I wasn't.

Dilithium extraction was always Lieutenant Torres' specialty.

And Tuvok had far more experience conducting away missions, but you didn't send either one of them.

Was it because they were closer to you?

You blame me.

No. No, that's not what I meant.

It's okay, Lyndsay. No, it's not.

I'm not offended.

No, you don't understand.

"Never harbor anger toward those who brought you death, for they gave you the chance to live again."

In letting me die, Captain, you gave me life.

I'm sorry. Lyndsay...

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come.

You're late.

We expected you hours ago.

For what?

Your farewell party.

You weren't supposed to come back.

You don't belong here anymore.

Harry, what's going on?

"Lyndsay Ballard, beloved friend and crewman"-- does that sound right?

What?

For your eulogy... does that sound okay?

Harry, I'm not dead.

Denial: one of the final stages.

It was illogical for you to return.

Please, I don't want to go.

I couldn't save you before, Lyndsay.

What makes you think I can save you now?

Jen'to ka'siote... Jhet'leya.

( door chiming )

Come in.

What's wrong?

Bad day, I guess.

B'Elanna told me you did great in Engineering.

I solved a simple problem.

Didn't sound so simple to me.

Any Kobali can discern simple wave distortions.

Even if B'Elanna was impressed, the others were staring at me.

I'm sure it was just your imagination.

And then, to make matters worse,

I started babbling in front of the Captain.

Oh. I used to get pretty nervous around her, too.

Yeah, don't worry.

I'm sure she didn't take it personally.

Hey...

I know this isn't easy... but I'll help you through this.

You have always been far too nice to me.

Why is that?

You really don't have any idea, do you?

Think about it.

I rearranged my schedule at the Academy just so we'd be in the same classes.

I let you teach me how to skate, even though I hate the cold.

I'm crazy about you.

I have been since the day we met.

Why didn't you ever tell me?

I was never good at public speaking, remember?

But I figure how often do you get a second chance.

Which is why I'd very much like to kiss you now.

"Own the Day."

Sorry.

You are creating disorder.

Seven will be angry.

I don't care.

They're cubes. I can see that.

Precisely 1/1,000 the size of a Borg vessel.

Well done.

A 26-sided polyhedron, composed of hexagons, octagons and squares.

Impressive.

What's this?

Can't you tell?

It's you.

I don't see the resemblance.

Look. Here's your ocular implant, your nose, your mouth...

You were instructed to create a geometric shape.

I reminded her of that.

She wouldn't comply.

This was more fun.

Don't you like it?

It is crude.

However, it does demonstrate ingenuity and individuality.

She deviated from your instructions.

Aren't you going to implement a punishment protocol?

No.

Resume your disorder.

Lyndsay?

They're coming.

Red Alert. Raise shields.

We are being hailed.

On screen.

I've come for Jhet'leya.

If you're referring to Ensign Ballard, she's made it clear that she doesn't want to go with you.

She's my daughter.

Please... I've come a long way.

I only want to speak with her.

You don't have to see him, you know.

They can't make you.

I want to, Harry.

It's time to stop running.

I appreciate this, Captain.

I'm willing to oblige as long as you understand that this meeting is over as soon as Ensign Ballard says it is.

What have they done to you?

Given me my life back.

You were so beautiful.

It's good to see you, Jhet'leya.

My name is Lyndsay.

Why did you leave us?

I wanted to be with my people again.

These people? The same ones who set you adrift in space?

We jettisoned her body in accordance with our customs.

You abandoned her.

You had no right to tamper with her remains.

We were acting in accordance with our customs.

You mutilated her.

Ensign...

The reanimation process usually results in extensive memory loss, which makes the transition less painful.

Unfortunately, some remember their former lives more than others.

Jhet'leya, for example.

I told you to call me...

Lyndsay Ballard.

She's dead.

She has been for three years.

Forgive me for being so blunt, but when we found her, she was a lifeless corpse.

We salvaged that raw material to create a new person-- my daughter-- whom I love.

I'm not your daughter.

You may have altered your appearance, but do you still think like these people?

Even now, the first words that come into your head, are they in their language or mine?

I realize this place is familiar to you, but it's not where you belong.

Your sister misses you.

Tynsia.

She keeps asking when you're coming home.

What should I tell her?

Tell her that her sister's dead.

I'll escort you to the transporter room.

I won't give her up, Captain.

She made her wishes clear.

She's confused.

Thanks to what you did to her.

I don't want to fight you.

Your ship is no match for Voyager.

Every life is precious to my people, Captain.

I won't be coming back alone.

Midnight snack?

Kobali cuisine at its finest.

So I was giving some thought to #32--

"Make Tuvok laugh."

He has this holo-program, "The Temple of T'Panit."

I thought we might tweak it, so that instead of Vulcan prayers, the monks recite Ferengi limericks.

You're not laughing.

Sorry.

I can't stop thinking about Q'ret.

I can't believe he had the nerve to call himself your father.

I'll bet Professor Ballard would have had something to say about that.

Who?

Your... dad.

Doesn't he teach at some university?

I don't remember.

I don't remember anything about him.

Let's get down to the holodeck. We've got some monks to tweak.

Sure.

( gasps )

What's wrong?

Why did she start to revert all of a sudden?

Our old friend, the pathogen.

It's adapting to counteract my treatments.

It's possible she'll suffer occasional relapses for the rest of her life.

You said you could maintain my appearance.

I can, but it looks like I'll need to increase the frequency of your treatments.

You'll have to see me at least twice a day.

How am I supposed to do my job if I'm in here all the time?

How am I supposed to do anything?

Please try to underst... Stoi'gia!

Net'staika pen'daeli shevaob!

I'm sorry.

( hatch opens, closes )

Wow.

This place sure is lived-in.

If you're here to lecture me about cleanliness...

I'm here to ask you to stop the treatments.

You know what happens if I do.

You'll look Kobali again?

So what?

I thought you were cute bald.

I don't care if you're human, Kobali or Bolian.

I just want you to be happy.

I wouldn't fit in.

Are you saying Tuvok and Neelix don't fit in?

That's different. They got to grow up in their own cultures.

They know where they come from, who they are.

Wherever they come from, they're part of this crew now, just like you.

Lyndsay was part of this crew.

If I stop the treatments, I won't be Lyndsay anymore.

( sighs ): You don't honestly believe that.

Since the day I got back here, I haven't felt right.

First I thought it was Voyager. Things had changed so much,

I thought if I just gave myself more time I'd get used to it.

But it's me.

I've changed.

And the more I try to deny it, the more I feel like a ghost.

I'm sorry, Harry... but I can't keep fighting anymore.

What about us?

The girl you were in love with died three years ago.

Shields down to 48 percent.

Target the lead ship's weapons array.

Life support's failing on Decks 6 through 10.

Reroute power to compensate.

Shields at 20 percent.

Hail them. Tell them you'll surrender me.

Don't listen to her, Captain.

I appreciate the gesture, Lyndsay, but I'm not giving you up.

It's not a gesture. I want to go.

I don't belong here.

She's not well. She doesn't know what she's saying.

I know exactly what I'm saying.

Shields at 13 percent.

I'm detecting power fluctuations in the lead vessel's warp drive.

A polaron burst could overload the core.

That would destroy the ship.

They're not leaving us much choice.

Whatever we do, we have to do it fast.

You're sure this is what you want.

Captain,

I can fire that polaron burst myself.

Stand down, Ensign.

We can't just let them take her!

Even if you stop them, I can't stay on Voyager.

I don't want to lose you.

You already did, but at least this time, we've been given the chance to say good-bye.

Captain's Log, Stardate 53679.4.

The Doctor has stopped Ensign Ballard's treatments,

and her Kobali physiology

is already beginning to reassert itself.

All but one of us have said our good-byes.

Vien'ke debala, Jhet'leya.

I taught myself to say a few words in Kobali.

That's very sweet of you, but you just told me the comets are tiresome.

Guess I better work on my pronunciation.

I'm sorry you didn't get to finish everything on your list.

I think I took care of what really mattered.

That's pretty.

It belonged to a friend of mine.

Would you like it?

Your friend wouldn't mind?

I think she'd be happy knowing I gave it to someone with such pretty hair.

Seven's letting us go to the holodeck by ourselves.

She says we can run any program we want.

Do you want to come?

Have you ever heard of "The Temple of T'Panit"?

It's a Vulcan program.

Sounds boring.

Don't worry.

We'll make a few tweaks.